You have encountered an extremely old website that continues to exist in old web ways, the same way it has done for now three decades.
In spite of being now 30 years old this year, started in 1996, it is still heavily active and old pages updated daily, new pages added daily, still now in 2026. All hand written, all hand coded (no AI), all by me, same as it ever was.
We Still Exist: The Old Web Did Not Go Away, You Just Forgot How To Find Us
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This site was NOT designed for mobile devices (as they had not been invented yet when I created it) thus this site looks best on a computer, at 1280x768 or above. |
This is a very old website created in 1996, so, yes, javascript is needed for the site to work as it should. If things don't function, you may need to update javascript drivers on your device |
This site tries to be mobile friendly but it's been online since 1996, so old pages may not load right on mobile devices, and as this site has had pages added near daily for 30 years there are now over 20k pages here. |
Having started out in life as a GeoCities site, this site contains glitter, bright colours, blinkies, moving gifs, and other things the old web was known for. |
f you are here looking for aliens, ufos, demons, cryptids, haunted cars, curses, Etiole, the wild man of old orchard beach, the goldeneagle car, the white monkey, or any of that other weird bullshit, you want this video:
...and after that video, you want these ones:
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If you want some stories to get you started in The Pink Necromancer series, reading these first will give you a good introduction to the 3 main characters:
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My Elves Are JellyFish...and I asked Google AI and ChatGPT 5.6 what they thought of this.
As requested, my daily writing prompt series is now available print paperback editions on Amazon.
There are 20 volumes of this writing prompt series currently planned and in varying stages of finishing, hopefully all 20 will be published by the end of 2026. I likely will do a 2nd series of writing prompt books in 2027.
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The first of the Visual Novels/Video Games for The Adventures of Quaraun the Inane/The Pink Necromancer series is published and available on Itch.io, there are 3 more planned for release in 2026, 6 more planned for release in 2027, and the big 60-hour 80k word 150 page one (Quaraun Goes To the Fair) is planned for a 2028 release.
There is a Pink Necromancer card game and a Pink Necromancer board game, as well as a Pink Necromancer table top RPG supliment for Dungeons and Dragons, all in the works, and to be released over the next couple of years as well.
I shouldn't have to say this, but people keep contacting me, so apparently I do:
If you have any information about my son’s murderer, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
Do you know who this woman is?
On August 8, 2013 she drove a backhoe over my house. On November 14, 2013 she arrived at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me with a golf club and murdered my son. One June 24, 2016, days after my first attempts to walk again, she attacked me with a shopping cart at Scarborough, Walmart, reinjuring the Nov 14, 2013 injury.
She crippled me when I was 8 months pregnant, a woman with a golf club, severed my spine and bashed my baby's head in, I spent 9 years relearning to walk, and the FBI is 13 years into the murder investigation and not yet id-ed the attacker who crippled me and killed my baby, both violently with a golf club.
Complete details of EVERYTHING she did is on this page here.
The golf club woman who called herself Clair as she looked November 14, 2013. Her hair is a weird chin leangth pageboy (very Medival style cut) platinum blonde with wide brown/black dyed stripes in it (like a reverse of Lily Munster, but the stripes are several, almost like a zebra). I am 5'6" and she was a LOT taller then me, like closer to the height of a man; she had thin lips like a man, and large nose like a man... she COULD have been a man disguised as a woman, given the ease with which she severed my spine....she's is a LOT stronger then is typical for a woman). She was wearing a chambre blue denim "blazer jacket over shirt" and a button up mens shirt (possibly flannel) and blue jeans. The bulk of her yelling was focused on accusing me of being transgender, even while ripping my baby out of my 8 month pregnant belly and bashing his head in with a golf club. |
The Claire woman as she looked during her shoping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart June 2016, the attack with left me paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Her hair was dyed dark red, and she drove away in a gold Volvo 240 Station Wagon of a late 1980s/early1990s model, with a "458" on the lisnce plate.... If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
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If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
Good god! We just found out about yet another slanderous rumour this woman has been spreading? When does it end? How many more of these things are out there?
Video explains what else she's done ...
If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
If you encounter anyone claiming my car is haunted, demon possessed, or somehow connected to Stephen King please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
If you encounter anyone claiming I believe in aliens or was an alien abducttee, please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
A look at the differences between Fantasy and Dark Fantasy and why one author found themselves getting rejected by every agent they encountered. | Rejected by Agents? Could Be You Don't Know Your Genre | Writing Dark Fantasy
Can I just rant about rejection for a moment? Feeling discouraged and want to give up. from writing
>>I've been writing for over ten years, I've written five novels, have a Creative Writing degree, and now work freelance making a stable income as a copy editor. Getting glowing rejections from agents on my latest book, but no bites. Don't know what I'm doing wrong. I feel like quitting. Also, I live in a country that doesn't have hundreds of literary agents like the US (more like 50-60). I've started querying overseas though.

Random question, but why are you not trying to get your first 5 novels published?
Focusing only on 1 book, when you've got 5 more on the back burner seems a bit unproductive to me. You should be querying all of your books (different query for each book, not all 5 books in 1 query.)
Most writers struggle to get one book at a time out on the market, and here you are with five more sitting around collecting dust? Get all of your novels out there doing the rounds. You never know which one it'll be that agents snap up. Could be the one you least expect.
Don't quit.
Never quit.
Finding an agent is never an easy road.
>>My fourth book was the first one I felt was decent enough to approach agents with (I'd been writing for ten years at that point, and learning how to submit), but I didn't expect much, obviously, especially because it was fantasy. I got 45 rejections, and none of them were personal. All form. I'd pretty much exhausted all the agents in my country with an interest in my genre.
Can I point out a line here...
A few things.
One the attitude.
Why are you so passive aggressive AGAINST the Fantasy genre?
That was my first thought when I read this line...
This sentance stood out because it clearly tells me you have an additutde against Fantasy.
Yet you are writing Fantasy?
Wait... you are writing a genre, that you clearly have bitter venom of hatred for? Why?
Why do I see this line as you not liking Fantasy?
Let's dissect what you said..
Can you see it yet?
Why not?
Wait... why is it obvious?
Meaning?
Why did you not expect much? I thought you said your book was good. Why are you not bubbling over, giddy with excitement. You should be bouncing around like a golden retriever puppy, doing the yippy skippy of: "Oh boy I wrote a book! Isn't it wonderful? Yay!"
And instead you are: "Oh, ho hum. So what. I wrote a book. Big fucking deal. I don't expect much to come of it."
Well, with THAT attitude about it, nothing will ever come of your book, no.
Wait... why is it obvious?
Is your book that shitty a peice of crap? If so, why bother sending it out at all? You KNOW it's obviously not good enough to be published... so why did you bother sending it out?
Think about it.
You OBVIOUSLY, don't think your book is worth publishing, other wise you would not have pointed out that it was OBVIOUS.
Meaning what exactly?
It's so obvious that you think Fantasy is a crappy genre that is obviously not worth publishing, especially, because, you know, it's just Fantasy and all, not like it was anything important or nothing, so obviously I can't expect much of a stupid, dumb, junk genre like Fantasy.
If it is so obvious to you that a genre like Fantasy is not worth publishing, then why did you bother forcing yourself to degrade yourself by writing a genre that is so especially obviously not worth expecting much from?
YOU are a writer. Someone who makes a career out of choosing their words cxarefully to convey meaning.
Perhaps you should spend some time, dissecting the meaning of the words you use while referencing Fantasy? It rather illuminating really, the amount of bitter words and sarcastic belittling you use every time you say the word Fantasy in a sentance.
I'm wondering why someone who does this, has choosen to write Fantasy?
Please tell me you didn't have this same chip on your shoulder, attitude in your query letters as well, because if you did, that would explain the trouble you are having.
Even if an agent loves your book and thinks they can sell it, she's gonna reject an author who acts unprofessional.
Acting like a professional businessperson when dealing with other professional business people, will sell you far more books, then the best polished manuscript well.
Agents are pretty good at reading a person's personality, just by reading a few lines in a cover letter. They can tell your level of maturity, your level of snark and bitchiness, and whether or not you have the right personality o work with them, just from reading the 4 or 5 sentences you write in the cover letter. They don't have to read your manuscript to know whether or not they want to work with a person like you.
Your post here is coming off as very immature, snarky, and unprofessional. Maybe it's just your frustration showing through your words, but, you definitely are pitching a very emo "I hate everything therefore I must be a writer, because only emos write books" type of vibe... and in my experience that kind of a personality is always going to result in agents rejecting you no matter how good the book is.
So, first bit of advice I have for you is: try getting a positive attitude about the genre you write. No agent wants to work with an author who is not excited about their own genre.
An agent who works in the Fantasy genre is bubbling over with excitement, for the Fantasy genre. No one loves Fantasy more then she does. And nothing will offend her quicker then the author who writes Fantasy while saying:
"Obviously, this isn't worth publishing, because it's only Fantasy, but I wrote it anyways, so here it is."
Think about it.
Your attitude matters. It matters A LOT.
>>Anyway, I got 2 requests for the full manuscript as well. One of them was a friend referral, and this agent was very enthusiastic; she also reps a lot of big names, so I was floored. She read it, gave me some amazing comments, and asked me to revise and resubmit (!!), promising to take another look at the book when I was done. I spent 3 months revising based on her feedback and sent it back, as promised. It's been a year now. She never replied, even to polite nudges. I was crushed. The second agent who asked for the full has also never replied. I queried some more agents, but ultimately was too crushed to continue.
What do you call polite nudges?
At minimum don't "nudge" sooner then 3 months, thought 6 months is prefered, and NEVER more then 3 times TOTAL, and never less then 3 months between each "nudge".
Remember what I said about being professional? It applies here too.
A pushy, bossy, whiny, needy, or nagging author, is going to get rejected no matter what the agent thinks of the book.
Remember ANY book can be sold with the right salesman pushing it, but if the author is a bitch to work with, no agent in their right mind is going to bother with the book.
A shitty book by a sweet, pleasant, joy to work with author is going to get published much faster then the perfectly written gem by the bitchy, smug, kiss my ass or fuck off type author.
Perhaps you are "nudging" too much. Perhaps you are coming off as the whinny, needy, difficult personality to work with type.
If that's the case, then there is no polite way for the agent to tell you: "I love your book, but your personality sucks, I think I could sell your book, but I just don't think I could stand working with you for another minute let alone the next 5 years."
Thus, no replies.
Of course...
It's not unheard of for an agent to lose your draft, find it 2 years later and contact you with: "So sorry, I lost your draft and just found it. I'm still interested in it, has it been picked up by anyone else yet?"
It's also possible she's had a medical emergency, family issues, a divorce, a death in the family, a sick elderly parent... these things happen to everyone, even agents, and job gets pushed aside in panic situations like this. Who knows... you may hear from her a year from now, still interested, along with a note about: "That shitty husband of mine ran off with some bimbo and disrupted my life, but I'm back and I'm still interested in your book."
Also, agents and editors frequently change publishing houses. If one editor or agent from that publisher was interested, perhaps a different one from that same publisher or agency will be too. Go ahead and send your query to other agents and editors in that same agency or publisher. Who knows... maybe she left the job and tossed all her work on the desk of a different agent, and maybe your draft is already sitting on their desk, but they having gotten to looking at it yet? You contacting them, could result in they pull your draft out of the stack to look at next.
The point is there are lots of reasons why they have not replied, and most of them probably have nothing to do with your book at all.
>>During this process, I also went to a writing conference. I pitched an editor and an agent. The editor gave me some advice, and shortly after my pitching session, I was getting a glass of water, and he was standing nearby talking to another editor. I heard them bad-mouthing my book right next to me. It was dark fantasy, and I'd been matched to editors based on the genre (the idea of the conference was to match people with agents/editors with similar interests). They were criticising my book for how dark it was, shaking their heads as they did so (neither of them had read it, they'd only listened to my very nervous pitch). That editor did offer a free critique of my synopsis during the pitch session, though, so although I went home almost in tears, I thought I'd take up his offer and send my synopsis. He never replied.
Uhm...
Okay...
Wait...
Didn't you say back there you were writing Fantasy?
Wait... confusion time...
Yes, a genre can be BOTH Fantasy and dark Fantasy, but that's pretty unusual and rarely done, and if you have done it, there are no publishers publishing it, and you'll have to self publish. No way around it - Dark Fantasy with magic, dragons, wizards, and Elves is a genre that exists ONLY in the self publishing industry.
The Quaraun series I write, is Dark High Fantasy.
High Fantasy with Dark Fantasy, in Yaoi. When sold in mainstream book publishers, booksellers shelve Quaraun with Dark Fantasy, along side Stephen King and Edgar Allan Poe, because of the bloody, gory, grisly, gut churning, vomit inducing, graphic horror scenes that permeate the books.
So, what exactly are you writing here?
Fantasy?
Dark Fantasy?
Both in one?
Do you even know what genre you wrote?
If you've got a Fantasy/Dark Fantasy cross over, then you are just torturing yourself looking for an agent. No publisher publishes that. It has to be self published.
But... they read it and said it was "dark"... do they mean as in disturbing? Psychological terror type of dark? If so, you have written Dark Fantasy, a type of Horror and are pitching your book to the wrong agents.
Do you read Fantasy?
Do you read Dark Fantasy?
Do you know there IS a reason everyone always says to write what you know and read what you write?
That saying means to read the genre you write, so you will know the genre in order to write it.
If you are well read in your genre, you wouldn't be making simple mistakes like confusing Horror with Fantasy.
>>I figured fantasy was just a hard sell so I moved on. I wrote the "book of my heart" about an issue that really matters to me. This is kind of where I'm at now. I'm getting glowing, personal rejections. One said they loved it but had something too similar on their list (it's about mental illness).
An issue that really matters to you.
Mental illness.
I think I'm starting to get a clearer picture here of what the problem is.
You recall a ways back there when I said you seemed to have a very "emo attitude" and I questioned why you were belittling Fantasy when supposedly it was the genre you were writing?
And then later I questioned your use of Fantasy vs Dark Fantasy?
And NOW.... now you are suggesting that the book is about mental illness?
I'm starting to feel, more and more that your novel is NOT Fantasy on any level at all, and is full blown Dark Fantasy, which perhaps may be even darker and not even be Dark Fantasy at all.
It sounds like, based on your small bits of info here, that you have written something akin to Psychological Terror.
Your saying that it is a topic dear to your hear, an important issue in your life... that actually tells me your story may not even be Dark Fantasy, because Dark Fantasy, typically is a story about non-Human characters, in bloody magi filled situations. Typically Dark Fantasy features Vampire main characters, and a lot of blood, guts, an gore flying around in between the Necromancer's with their magic wands resurrecting zombies.
The top selling Dark Fantasy novel out there right now is Twilight and biggest seller in the graphic novel segment of Dark Fantasy is The Walking Dead.
Lord of the Rings remains the top seller in Fantasy.
Does you novel have more in common with Lord of the Rings or The Walking Dead? That there will give you a pretty good idea of which genre your book is.
But...
If it's dealing with real issues and is close to your heart and mental illness is the theme... are you sure it's not just straight up Mainstream Drama?
I think you need to access your book.
Ask yourself these questions:
>>Another said she loved the book and my character but passed anyway. One agent said she could "understand how much interest I'm getting", but passed (this was also a referral from a friend of mine who recently got an agent after working in publishing for a year).
These types of responses tell me that you have written a good book that will likely sell well, but that you are pitching it to the wrong agents, as in, agents who DO NOT handle the genre you wrote, and no matter how much they like it, they simply can not accept it because the publishers they work with do not publish that genre.
I'm coming more and more to the conclusion that you are pitching a book that is NOT Fantasy to agents who handle ONLY Fantasy.
Somehow you are so clueless as to what genre your book is, that you are sending it to agents who don't deal with it.
>>Recently, I've been talking to an agent who keeps telling me she loves my book so far and to inform her of any other interest. Well, I've had a few more requests for the book from other agencies/competitions, so I'm keeping her updated. A while back, she said she'd reply by X date. She never did.
This tells me that, again, people like your book and WANT to sell it to publishers, but again, they do not normally work with this genre so are finding it difficult to accept it, but feel confidant enough it'll sell that they may be willing to risk a genre they don't normally pitch if you can't find an agent in a more appropriate genre.
Keep these agents on your list... but still look for a better match.
These types of responses are not rejections, but rather, they are telling you "This is good, get it in front of the right people and it'll sell, I'm just not the right person, but I'll help you if you can't find someone else."
She is suggesting to you that this book is a diamond in the rough and you really need to get it in the right hands of the right agent, but she's not the right agent.
This is a really good responce.
Yes, disappointing, but still... this tells you you are on to something and you really need to not give up. Don't quit. Keep going. You are getting closer and closer to finding your perfect match.
>>I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
I'm reading your post and something stood out to me, quite glaringly, that might possibly be part of the trouble you are having...
Throughout your post you mention Fantasy. Fantasy this, Fantasy that... and so, I assume you are writing Fantasy - you know, wizards, dragons, Elves, swords, sorcery, magic, unicorns, fairies, magic wands, kings, knights, princesses,... Medieval times, Dark Ages, Middle Ages... you know actual Fantasy, as in the Fantasy genre.
Then you get to this part where you say:
Well, now I am confused, because you spent the first half of the post telling us you write Fantasy, and it's a Fantasy novel, then BOOM you pull a switcheroo and now you are telling us it's Horror. Which is is? Fantasy or Horror? They are very dramatically different genres. If you are pitching a Horror novel to Fantasy agents, no wonder they think it's dark and are not replying back.
You do know that Horror agents are the ones you send Dark Fantasy queries to, right? Never send Dark Fantasy to a Fantasy agents. Fantasy agents work with Fantasy novels not Horror novels and they'll just toss a Horror script unread, with no reply.
Okay my question is this:
What the hell genre are you actually writing and do you even know the difference between Fantasy and Dark Fantasy?
Number one mistake made by writers when submitting queries is the fact that they have no clue what genre their novel is and send it to editors, publishers, and agents who not not work with their genre.
Dark Fantasy is a sub-genre of the Horror genre, and is NOT a sub-genre of the Fantasy genre.
Dark Fantasy is primarily a genre about vampires and zombies, sometimes werewolves and mad scientists, monsters galore, themes include death, depression, and suicide, superheroes, Necromancers and super villains abound, usually (but not always) in a fairly modern setting 1800s to current era.
Are you sending your queries to Fantasy agents or Horror agents?
Fantasy:
Dark Fantasy:
I just find your post so very confusing because you don't seem to have a clear grasp on the definition of genres, so I can't tell have you written Fantasy or Dark Fantasy? You are using both interchangeably like you think they are the same types of books, and they are not. They are not even close to being the same types of books at all, and the agents dealing with Fantasy, do not deal with Dark Fantasy.
If you went to that conference and said: "My book is Fantasy" and they matched you to Fantasy agents, but then they find out your book was NOT Fantasy at all, but instead was Dark Fantasy, a type of Horror, well, it was no wonder they were saying the stuff they did.
Think of it from their perspective: They show up hoping to help some budding Fantasy author and get stuck with a Horror author instead. Why shouldn't they pissed? You would be too. I mean, really put yourself in their shoe. Here they are hoping to help a Fantasy author, and get some amature who doesn't know one genre defanition from the other, and has handed them something NOT Fantasy and called it Fantasy anyways... do you have any idea how frustrating and disappointing it is for them, to have to deal with THOUSANDS of writers who can't be bothered to do enough research to even find out the definition of a genre before calling their novel by said genre?
I mean, I know it's frustrating and disappointing for us authors, and it's easy to get on the "agents don't know shit and are all evil" bandwagon, but, if you put yourself in the agents shoes for a bit, try to see it from the agent's point of view, you'd really start to wonder why anyone bothers being an agent at all. It's a tough job sifting through a thousand manuscripts that are NOT your genre, trying to find the 1 or 2 writers who actually know what genre the agent is looking for. I'd never want to be an agent. That's for sure! I don't know how they do it.
I'm just so confused by your post here, because you are so all over the place in describing what genre your novel is and really sounds like you've got no clue what your genre is at all, which to me indicates you are likely sending your novel out to the wrong agents.
You keep describing agents who say they love your book, but pass anyways.
Okay, you got to realize, most agents are working for a publisher.
Let me repeat that... the agent works FOR THE PUBLISHER... not the author.
The agents is the publisher's talent scout. They know what the publisher wants. And it doesn't matter how much the agent is in love with your books, because if the publishers they work with don't publish your genre, then the agent loving your book, don't mean squat.
The fact that so many agents both love and reject your book, tells me a few things:
It really sounds to me, based on your description here, that you have written a Horror book, but because the genre is called Dark Fantasy, you mistakenly assumed it was a type of Fantasy and are sending it to Fantasy agents, when instead you should be sending it to Horror agents.
My advice, is I think you really need to do some heavy duty research into genres and subgenres and figure out what in the heck genre you have written, because you keep calling it Fantasy, keep saying you are sending it to Fantasy agents, and then suddenly in a burst of frustration you blurted out this:
Which tells me that it is NOT Fantasy at all, and you are simply sending it to completely the wrong agents entirely. They can love your book all they want, but if you are pitching Dark Fantasy to Fantasy agents, they simply do not publish Horror and Dark Fantasy is a subgenre of Horror not Fantasy.
Get yourself a copy of The Writer's Market, and look ONLY for agents of your ACTUAL genre your novel actually is, and send it to them no matter where on the planet they live. It doesn't matter where you live or where the agent lives.
Heck... if you are dealing with Dark Fantasy/Horror like it sounds, you might want to try looking into Japanese agents and publishers because Dark Fantasy Horror is HUGE in Japan. It's not a big genre in most places (I know - I write it) but in Japan it's just got a massive following. (80% of my sales are to Japan.) I think Japan hold most of the market for Dark Fantasy right now, so, you might want to consider getting your book published in Japan first then US and the rest of the world later.
It sounds to me like people like your book, which is a good thing. But it sounds like you are a bit confused as to what genre it is and so are just sending it out to the wrong people.
I'm thinking, if you rethink your genre and start sending out to Horror agents who publish Dark Fantasy, instead of Fantasy agents who don't publish Horror, I think, you'll find better success in the queries.
Half the job of querying is just figuring out which agents are the right ones for your book. Just because the ones you sent it to already, rejected it doesn't mean it's a bad book or that you're a bad writer, it just means it wasn't the right book for those agents in particular and you just have to keep sniffing out new agents until you do find the one that is just the perfect match.
Think about it this way: you really don't want your book represented by an agent who isn't 100% behind it. If they think they can not sell it, even though they like it, well, then they simply will not put enough effort into selling it to the publisher. And you don't want that. You want an agent who feels they can sell you book, and will be out their putting all their effort into doing so.
Remember to... not all publishers require agents.
Agents take a 30% on average. And the average income you can expect from most books is $5,000 TOTAL for the life of the book. After the agent cut, that means you'll likely only earn $3,500 from your book.
The bulk of books get published WITHOUT an agent.
The bulk of big names, including Stephen King, J.K.Rowlings, GRRMartin, published their books WITHOUT an agent, and ONLY got agents after they started getting offers from movie deals, with their agents handling the movie deals NOT the book deals.
Sure an agent can help, but you don't NEED an agent to get published, and any one who tells you, that you do, doesn't know the publishing industry.
There are tens of thousands of publishers on the planet and fewer then 50 that require agented submissions. That's really something to think about.
It's possibly in your best interest, to research publishers for your book, and by pass the middleman, going without an agent entirely.
Another possibility is self-publishing. You keep 70% royalties as opposed to the 4% industry standard of trade published. Your book is in print forever, as opposed to going out of print just 6 months after publishing, as is industry standard in trade print. You control the cover art, as opposed to having no say in trade publishing. And either way - self published or trade publishing, you are the one who has to market your own book (no, trade published books don't get the marketing advantage - that's an urban myth - the author markets the book no matter how big or small the publisher is. The only time a publisher markets a book, is if the author was able to market it enough on their own to get the first 1 million sales.)
There are really no advantages to trade publishing these days. Only thing it does is boost the author's ego. With the exception of the dozen or so big names in trade publishing, self-pubbers are making way more income, have a much longer shelf life, and don't have to deal with the stress of years of rejections between each book. Might be worth looking into.
Whatever you do, don't give up. It sounds like people enjoy reading your book and you just need to find the right person to represent it.
>>I have friends with industry connections/who live near the publishing hub who have found more success than me
Where you live has nothing to do with it.
>>I'm starting to feel like it's because I'm a nobody. I go to conferences, I make connections, and then look what happens—I get my work dragged through the dirt behind my back.
If you can't handle 2 editors saying your book is too dark and think that's being bad mouthed... honey, you don't want to get published.
Google me. See what you find.
There's a NaNoWriMo ML running around forums all over the internet saying she wants to blow my brains out, threatening to kill me... she DID build a bomb and blew up my house with it.
Hey, let me give you a list ...
Yes... I've survived FIVE (5) bombings now.
You don't see me bitching and boo hooing about agents now do you?
We know why she did these things. She told me... in 21,000 emails.
Do you know why she does these things? Because she had brilliant idea for a book, and then discovered another author had written the same idea 10 years previous to her thinking of the idea. She claims, I'm a time traveling vampire who went forward in time, sucked the idea out of her head, then went back in time to publish it.
In case you hadn't noticed, Kendra Silvermander is insane.
The publishing industry is filled with psychopaths just like her... and once you get published they'll come crawling out of the woodwork. If you ain't got a thick shell, you'll never survive in this business.
If you are this upset about something so petty and insignificant.. I worry about you... you have the potential to be the next Kendra Silvermander. Shhe flies off the handle and gets upset over nothing too.
Don't become like Kendra Silvermander.
Kendra Silvermander, has yet to be published... she says so several dozen times in each of her 21,000 emails to me.
And like you, she's pissed that no one wants to publish her book.
And like you, she takes to ranting on forums because of it.
A more productive use of her and your time would be to be self examining your work to see WHY it's being rejected, instead of spending pointless time ranting on forums.
Learn a lesson from Kendra Silvermander and get off the "bitch about agents, editor, and published authors" bandwagon, before you too, like Kendra Silvermander, end up wanted by the FBI for becoming a domestic terrorist.
>>I'm starting to feel rather depressed, which isn't good, because I recently came off anti-depressants because my mood was improving. I feel like no matter how much I learn, after 10+ years of writing, it still isn't enough, because I don't know the right people, or live in the right place, or have the right face. I'm not writing what's trendy or to the market. I'm not what's "in" right now. And it's so hard to listen to people praising my work, even industry professionals, only to have them turn me down anyway. It's almost worse than people telling me I have no talent at all.
>>Thanks for listening to me rant. Please share stories and encouragement, or maybe even a really big glass of gin. I just feel like no matter how close I get to this dream, it's always going to be a no.
This page was written by Wendy Christine Allen of 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
All Rights Reserved.
Note: English is not my first language, Shetlean Scottish is my native language, there are likly spelling and grammar errors, as I do not know American English and am attempting to write it by sounding words out.
Many times that Americans think a word on my site is misspelled, often it is not misspelled, it is just I mixed up languages and wrote it in Scottish without realizing I mixed the Scottish in with the English. Also our grammar is somewhat reversed from English grammar so words that are seeming in the wrong order for American English, is usually because they are in the correct order for Scottish and I either put English words in Scottish order by mistake or was unaware English put them in a different order then Scottish does.
For those unaware, Scottish Shetlean looks like this:
American English to Scottish:
a bit (piece) = a party --- EXAMPLE: "And some know a bit of Latin " > "And somme kan of latyn a party "
a long distance from = A piece fae
a piece of = the bit --- EXAMPLE: "The duck ate a piece of bread " > "The deuk ett the bit breid "
about the banks (on the shore/at the beach) = aboot da banks
accomplishments = kunnandi
After = Back o --- EXAMPLE: " After Halloween" > "Back o Hallomas "
alive (living) = kvikr
Always on the move = Never aff o da go
am I not = amn't I --- EXAMPLE: "Am I not invited? " > "I amn't invited? or Amn't I invited?"
are = is --- EXAMPLE: "Are you going soon?" > "Is ya to be going soon?"
autumn = dah haihst
belong to = fylgja
best = bettah moost
betray (verb) = svíkja
bewildered = villhyggjandi
building = biggin up --- EXAMPLE: "building confidence in everyday use " > " biggin up confidence in ivvryday øs "
built = builded --- EXAMPLE: "He built a new porch." > "Hims builded a new porch."
cast a spell = hoodooed
cat = kat (sounds like "caught") --- EXAMPLE: "Is it an orange cat?" > "Be he a o'jinn kat?"
child = bairn
church = kirk
color = colour
danger = hœttr
daren't = darena
daring = djarfr
dark = dökk
dark elf = Dökkálfr
dark-elves = Døkkálfar
darker = dökká
do you agree = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "That's a fine looking woman, do you agree?" > "Dair's ah right bonnie lass, eh?"
do you want to come too = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "I'm going to the store, do you want to come with me?" > "Me go to shope, eh?"
each = eche --- EXAMPLE: "Which each person can understand " > "That kan eche man understonde "
educated = lered --- EXAMPLE: "Both among the educated and the uneducated " > "As wel among lered as lewed "
elf = Alfr
Elf = Álfr
Elf Home = Álfheimr
Elf World = Álfheimr
elf-advice = Ælfred
elf-beautiful = ælfscyne
elf-friend = Ælfwine
elf-guardian (female) = Ælfwaru
elf-guardian (male) = Ælfweard
elf-powerful = Ælfric
everyday = ivvryday
eyelids = eye ledes --- EXAMPLE: "He closed his eyelids." > "Hims did shut hims eye ledes"
fair = faire --- EXAMPLE: "Going to the fair." > "Done gone went to the faire."
feild = felde --- EXAMPLE: "Standing in the feild." > "Stoodt in thems felde."
further = ferther --- EXAMPLE: "I looked further." > "I dids lokid ferther."
green = grene --- EXAMPLE: "Look at the green hedges and woods." > "Look see at thems heigges and holtz so grene."
handsome = braw --- EXAMPLE: "He is very handsome " > "Him wicked braw "
have faith = trúa
Have no doubts about our doing it = Nae faer o wis
Have no liking for this. = Hae nae brou o this.
have not = ain't
He knows how many beans make five. = He kens the laid frae the croun o the causey.
He knows which side his bread is buttered on. = He kens whilk side his bannock's buttert on.
Head for = Mak wye for
head rope in fishing nets and lines = baak
head to head = Be at the knag and the widdie
horse fly = klegsie
I = Me
I Think = Me thinks --- EXAMPLE: "I think we're late. " > "Me thinks that we is late. "
I wish you well for the future = Lang may yer lum reek (translation: Long may your chimney smoke)
idiot = eejit --- EXAMPLE: "You idiot." > "Ya eejit."
idiot = numpty
if = iffy or yif--- EXAMPLE: "If you don't mind..." > "Iffy yas does no care mind...."; "If you'll stay with me long enough = "Yif ye so longe with me wil dwelle". "
I'll be even with you = A'll see day aboot wi ye
know = ken
looked = lokid
looked = lokid --- EXAMPLE: "I looked up." > "I lifte up me eye ledes and lokid ferther."
magic = hoodoo
naked = nøkkviðr
needle = bodkin
neither = nouther --- EXAMPLE: "Who know neither Latin nor French " > "That kan nouther latyn ne frensch "
No = Nay --- EXAMPLE: "No, I don't think so. " > "Nay, me thinks not. "
Nobody knew = not-knew nobody
Noontide = Da heicht o da day
NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "Did you meet the new family next door?" > "Dids ya gets a chance to stop by and meets with thems new folk that move-ed in down yawn there next doors to ya, eh?"
NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "He went to Rite-Aid to pick up his prescription" > "Hims did go to that yawn there new fangled store the new folks call that Rite Aid place, to gets himself some of thems there pills what the doctor gone and tells him to take each morning, a-yep, hims did."
old = olde --- EXAMPLE: "But educated and uneducated, old and young " > "Bot lered and lewed olde and yonge "
orange = o'jinn
out = oot --- EXAMPLE: "The cat wants to go out." > "The kat he do wants oot."
outside = oot dair
people = fokk --- EXAMPLE: "the people of Shetland " > "Shetland fokk "
people = folke --- EXAMPLE: "Look at all those people." > "Lookie at all thems folke."
poorly = febelly --- EXAMPLE: "Who know French very poorly " > "That kan frensch ful febelly "
Recognising = Recognisin --- EXAMPLE: "Recognising the bilingual nature of Shaetlan speakers " > "Recognisin da wye at Shaetlan spaekers is bilingual "
shield = skjoldr
Since = For --- EXAMPLE: "Since that is your native language " > "For that is youre kynde langage "
tell = telle --- EXAMPLE: "I'll tell you in English " > "In englysch tonge I schal you telle "
the = da, de, or is not used at all --- EXAMPLE: "I went to the store" > "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to shoppe"
them = dem, dem dair --- EXAMPLE: "I went with them" > "Me goes wit dem dair"
there = dair --- EXAMPLE: "I want those potatoes" > "Me be wanting dem dair tatetas."
they = dey
To where = whither --- EXAMPLE: ""Where you go, I will go." " > ""Whither thou goest, I'll go."
understand = understonde
understand = understonden --- EXAMPLE: "Some understand English " > "And somme understonden englysch "
very = wicked --- EXAMPLE: "very good" > "wicked good"; "very bad" > "wicked bad"; "very cold" > "wicked cold"
Where = Whither --- EXAMPLE: "Where is the restroom? " > "Whither is the privy?"
Yes = Yea or Aye --- EXAMPLE: "Yes, I think so. " > "Yea, me thinks so. " or "Aye, me thinks so. "
For anyone actually interested in learning my native language, the Scottish government has THIS listed as the official dictionary of our people: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/61d7352954b7fd1c9dbdfef4/t/65ddb2749d5e0541a01009c0/1709027964496/Spaektionary_2024feb.pdf
The Scottish government provides this document to show our language in use: https://www.shetland.uhi.ac.uk/t4-media/one-web/uhi-shetland-images-and-documents/documents-/shaetlan/Shaetlan-Language-Plan-2022-Shaetlan.pdf
More information about our language can be found on this website: https://www.iheardee.com which is written in my native language.
However, there is also other reasons why words might be misspelled, or why I might not understand someone when they speak to me.
My grandmother Helen Ricker Allen, was from Unst, Shetland, Scotland, and she the one who raised me. She taught me to read and write, but it was Shetlain that she taught me. She died when I was 8 years old, and I was locked in a woodshed after her furneral, I escaped the woodshed 27 years later at age 31, and have been trying to learn how to speak and write English since then.
It is a very great struggle.
At age 37 I took remidial reading and speaking classes at Southern Maine Community College, but we are Gypsies and Gypsy men do not allow us Gypsy women to have education, and so, while at college, on November 14, 2013, I was beaten with a golf club, while I was 8 months pregnet, breaking my spine, hips, and knees, killing my baby and leaving me quardepaleic since.
Now my primary focus these past 13 years has been on relearning to use my hand so I could type... as of 2023, I have regained the use of my right thumb, and first two right fingers, and after 10 years offline, I am back online due to I can use three finguers.
I never went to school, so I do not know maths and numbers and sciences, and I do not know what else would have been taught to me in school. We are Scottish Gypsies and Gypsy culture does not allow females to go to school. Being born female was already a great sin, but my grandmother took great risk in teaching me reading and writing. At 4 years old I was punished by my Uncle Bruce for knowing how to read, by being beaten in the face with a cinder block brick, that broke my right jaw and left me with garbaled near-mute spoken words ever since.
Because no one ever spoke words to be face to face from he time I was 8 years old until I was 37 years old (I escaped the room at age 27, but did not start college until 37), I have no training in how to vocally sound out or speak the words I write or read. I can read words, but I do not know how to sound out or say those words. I can write words, but I do not know how to match the written word against the spoken word. I struggle to associate spoken words at all, or make them match up with writen words.
Esentially, written words and spoken words are two completly seperate languages in my brain, and I have difficulty understanding spoken words.
If you say a sentance to me with your mouth, chances are very high I will have ZERO understanding of what you said and I will not be able to ander you.
However, if you WRITE down that exact same sentabnce, I can understand you and can type a written responce to you.
My doctors tell me this is a side effect of extreme isolation and neglect and lack of human contact during my toddler, childhood, teen, and young adult years, and that my brain never deveoloped to comprehend spoken vocal words due to no one ever speaking to me in over three decades of the first half of my life.
While I can read and write, American English (somewhat) I do no know how words are sounded out, what they are supposed to sound like. I readand write by shape recognition, not by sound/vocal recognition, so when reading and writing I do no "hear the words in my head" as I am told most people do when they read and write. In other words... I see "c a t" and think "c-a-t" I do not think "cat" nor do I "see" an image of a cat, no do I "hear" the word cat spoken. I'm told that this is very rare and that most people read and write by sounding out the words and linking them to visual mind images, while hearing the sound of the word in their head. I neiher hear words in my head no see images of things in my head. I'm told this is what makes me both a speed reader and speed writer, because I'm not tripped up by hear sounds or seeing images in my head like nomal people would be doing... however, I'm also told this is why my spelling and grammar are very poor, because my brain is not hear the sounds of the words or seeing visual images of the objects the words represent, so my mind also does not register spelling and grammer errors at all.
As I was only let out of the woodshed on Sundays to go to the Cape Elezabeth Ward Church of the August Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I was never allowed to go to school or hospital either. No adults ever talked to me because I was evil for comitted the sin of being born female, so I never learned how to speak properly and do not know how to sound out words to say them.
I was 42 years old, in 2016 when, while having an MRI for my spine, the doctors found out my speak issue was caused by a broken jaw as a toddler that was healed wrong because not being allowed to go to doctors. I had surgury to fix that, and since 2016 have been trying to learn how to use my jaw and touge so I can speak vocal words now.
Since 2023 my primary focus shifted to relearning to walk. I can now, in 2026, sit up for 2 or 3 hours a day, and can sand with a cane for a few minutes, and can walk for around five thousand feet in 2 to 3 segments a day, with the help of pushing my wheelchair like a walker.
As of 2026, with a slight return to using my fingers and legs, I am once again focused on trying to learn the American English, but I live in mortal fear of my uncles and male cousins, as they are so hateful of allowing me to have education.
have no one to help me to know if I am doing words correctly, and as such, I have no way of knowing if there are spelling and grammar errors, but I asume there are, and I fix them when I learn them, but I do not know what I do not know and spelling American words is a thing I do bnot know.
I have Low Fucntioning Kanner's Syndrom, also known as "RainMan Type of Autism" aka REAL and ACTUAL Autism, not to be confused with Aspergers, High Functioning Autism, or and of thr 861 illnesses on the Autism Spectrum. An Autism Spectrum Disorder is an illness that has symptoms similar to Autism but IS NOT Autism. If you have an Autism Spectrum Disorder, it LITERALLY MEANS you do NOT have Autism.
I am medically diagnosed as "kanner's syndrome, actual autism, the rainman type, profoundly retarded autistic savant, with a general IQ of 73, and an writing IQ of 221" but they added that they did not know how to properly diagnose me as I am "technically a feral child" and they don't know "how much is the autism, and how much is simple horrific levels of abuse and neglect induced post traumatic stress disorder that will go away with proper socilization".
It means I know how to write, I can write a lot, and it is next to impossible for you to teach me how to do literally anythig else because my brain only knows how to write and doesn;t know how to do anything else..
There's a reason, when I do book signings, people are quick to say: "Okay, what's the joke? why is this stupid retard here? where's the real author? I know this retard isn't the author. where are you hiding the author, why is this fucking retard here"
The end result is, I have near zero social interaction... my 3 years in college was the ONLY face to face interaction I have ever had with humans in my entire life, and I struggle deeply to understand MOST words used by MOST people when they ask me question. And so I suffer from a huge lack of understanding many words people say to me, how to translate those words into spelling, and how to translate what it is that has been said.
The fact remains hat until there exists a human on this planet who is willing to sit down and teach me what words spoken line up with and match what words written, this deficent is unlily to improve. But the fact also remains, that I am simply far too profoundly retarded for anyone to even try to make any attempt at all even to speak a friendly "hgelloe" or "good morning" when passing me on the street, so I have lost all hope of anyone ever either being my friend, being willing to teach me how to match spoken words to written words, or how to speak to other humans.
While there are around 20k pages on this website, most of them are blocked from search engines, with only around 800 of them available for appearing in Google/Bing/etc search results. The remainder can only be accessed via the various links found throughout this site. This was done deliberately on my part, and I did it because the bulk of the pages on this website are chapters from 138 novels and 423 novellas, so only the first page of each novel and novella indexed by search engines, and the remainder are linked in order, one page at a time, via clicking "next page" at the end of each. So if you are looking for a specific page from a specific novel, Google can't help you.
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Thank you for stopping by and have a nice day! ꧁✨🌸🔮🦄🔮🌸✨꧂ And if it’s your birthday today: ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐꧁ᴴᵃᵖᵖʸ☆ᵇⁱʳᵗʰᵈᵃʸ꧂🤍🎀🧸🌷🍭 |
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Get an email whenever Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻 publishes on Medium.
>I also write on these locations: | Amazon | Ao3 | Blogger | GumRoad | Medium | Notd | OnlyFans | Tumblr | Vocal |
Do you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine on August 8, 2013? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son on November 14, 2013 at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me July 26, 2016 at scarborough WalMart,... they arrived the first time with a backhoe on August 8, 2013, that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since....
... which means it is now only a few weeks from the 14th anniversary of my son's murder. I was 8 month pregnant November 14, 2013, and a student ay SMCC, and coming out of the Buglight Lighthouse art studio after art class, when a still unidentifiedwoman wielding a golf club attacked me, severed my spine, while I was 8 months pregnant, triggered early labour, then killed my son minutes after he was born.
While accusing me of being transgender, screaming "transvestite freak" and "look at that thing, that's Ken's son in a dress"... while I was 8 months pregnant.
My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son and crippled me, arrived the first time with a backhoe that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since. |
The backhoe driver returned November 14, 2013, armed with a golf club, used it to break my spine and smash my baby's brains out on the ground
On November 14, 2013, my son was murdered. I was 8 months pregnant, leaving my college classroom, and just getting into my car, when 3 strangers, a man and two women, armed with golf clubs leapt out from behind my car screaming "kill or be killed, kill the transvestite freaks, kill them all before they kill us! look at that thing! That is Ken's son, look at how it's dressed! kill the transvestite freaks! kill or be killed"... while the bald man and the red haired woman chanted this over and over, the blonde woman, lunged with the golf club.
She severed my spine, I am now a quadriplegic, and been paralyzed arms and legs, and in a wheelchair for 13 years now. She broke my hips, my knees, my legs, ruptured most of my discs, and shattered three of my vertebrae so bad that the shards of bone acted like glass and embedded themselves into my spinal column nerve bundle.
The attack also triggered labour.
My son was born in that parking lot, and he lived only a couple of minutes, before the deranged blonde woman, beat his head in and smashed his brains out, with the same golfclub she had just used to sever my spine and leave me crippled for the rest of my life.
Realizing that I was not transgender, and they'd just murdered a baby, the man grabbed the 2 women and forcibly dragged them away to a 4 door white pickup truck, and they left me there to die.
The FBI told me later, that a few weeks before this attack, and transwoman, had murdered a cis woman, in a parking lot, abou 20 miles away from where I was attacked. The FBI, believes that my attackers, had somehow found out I wrote transgender fiction, connecting my real name to my penname, (my father's name is in fact "Ken", and I do have a brother) and believed that I wrote transgender fiction, because I was myself transgender, even though I'm not transgender. The FBI, believes the attackers, thought I was my brother, pretending to be a woman.
The FBI investigation, into my son's murder, has dragged on for 13 years, and still now in 2026, continues on, with the FBI, still not having yet identified my attackers, and only guessing at what their motive was.
Thus we come to 2014, and the full swing change of the series I write. WHY my series, went from just a transman main character living life, to the full blown Mpreg genre series that it now is today.
Before the attack, I had a chance of having a baby. I don't know. And because I'm in America, I'm too old to adopt. You have to be under 45 years old to adopt a baby. That is the law in America. I was informed this, when we tried to adopt, now that my injuries leave me unable to get pregnant a 9th time.
Thus began my obsessively writing, my transman main character, pregnant. Always pregnant now. Every time. Every story. Stories that now fully focus on pregnancy, labour, miscarriages, babies dying, babies living, raising babies... the whole series, since 2014 has devolved into an outright baby obsession.
Meanwhile, reborn baby dolls were suggested to me by my therapist, and have also become a deeply obsessive part of my life. Because 13 years ago my son was murdered minutes after he was born, because a transphobic bigot mistook me for being transgender, I'm STILL in a wheelchair, struggling to relearn to use my arms and legs, now 13 years later, and I'm still DAILY dealing with police officers and FBI agents who while they are trying to find my son's killer, they are also daily reminding me... oh, yeah, my son was murdered, literally ripped out of my belly, by a transphobe. Who still has not been located and walks free to kill again.
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The golfclub woman as she looked during the golf club attack at Southern Maine community college November 14, 2013. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
The golfclub woman as she looked during the shopping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart July 26, 2016. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
The 2nd woman as she looked at both attacks, her hair goes all the way down to her knees. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer's accomplice, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
I am a legally blind quadriplegic, and low verbal, I have also published 138 novels in the last 48 years. It's not as impossible as people think. The problem being blind and quadriplegic, medically have different meanings then how those two words are used medically.
Fewer than 3% of all blind people see nothing. While 97% people who are classified as fully blind are able to see up to two feet in front of them. Legally blind means I can see more then two feet in front of me but not far enough to see twenty feet in front of me. In my case I can see about eight feet.
Quadriplegic, has varying levels, it means having a damaged nerve bundle in the spinal column causing limited mobility of all 4 limbs, (in my case this was done by a women wielding a golf club, who also beat my 8 month infant's head to pulp on the parking lot tarmak, at the same time she severed my spine with the same golf club; both on November 14, 2013; the FBI investigation into my son's murder and my being crippled has gone on now for 13 years, a few weeks away from 14 years now, and the FBI has still not identified the killer or her motive). Contrary to popular misconception, quadriplegic does NOT mean ZERO movement, it means means limited movement, specifically in means unable to lift arms over head, unable to grip fingers around objects to pick them up, and unable to stand for more then 5 minutes to a time. Because there are so many thousands of nerves in each limb it is actually very rare for there to be 100% no movement, but how much, and to what extent varies by patent depending upon the specific point of injury to the spinal column.
Meaning typing is still possible for over 60% of all quadriplegics.
In my case, it was the lower spine that was severed, cutting off completly my ability to move my right leg, leaving limited feeling in my left leg, and an ability to stand but not walk, with crutches, for the first 9 years. I regained enough nerve growth in my legs by the 9th year to be able to take ten or twelve steps allowing me to get out of bed for the first time since the golf club attack; This in turn lead to me being able to start using a wheelchair, as I was able to sit upright for the first time as well.
Because the shattered vertebrae bone fragments are broken off completly and embedded into the nerve bundle just above my tailbone, doctors were saying I would never walk again, but now at 13 years, I am able to push mu wheelchair like a walker, a distance of almost a thousand steps a day. Though doctors are still doubtful I will ever walk "normally" again, I have proven them wrong, when their said 13 years ago, that I would never walk again at all.
But because of the placement of the damage to my spine, regaining hand use, was always thought possible, it was just a matter of waiting long enough for nerve regrowth, along side daily finger exercises. I was able to continue writing, after becoming quadriplegic, because I still have use of my right thumb, and 2 fore figures of my right hand. And can type 90 words per minute with those 3 fingers.
I however have no wrist strength, elbow strength, or shoulder strength, so I am not able to form a fist, or lift objects, or brush my hair, or my teeth, all thing I have to have my caretaker do. But, those things are not needed for typing. Unfortunately, my pinky and ring fingers are "nerve dead" and drag over the keyboard, and cause horrific spelling errors and typos, which are incredibly frustrating to deal with.
Unfortunately trying to edit errors myself, just makes the errors worse, because those same two fingers drag over the keyboard yet again. Prior to the golf club attack, I rarely had spelling errors; now I got more spelling errors then someone is learning English as second language. Editing is a challenge, that I've had to accept, I simply can not do myself, and I have to hire several editors to help with that.
Low verbal means sounds can still be made, sounds that software programs like Dragon can be trained to recognize and translate, and type into full words. More then half my novels were typed with this method.
I still have a long ways to go before I am anything close to being able to do the things I could do before the golf club woman beat my baby's brains out and shattered my spine. And you know what's more frustrating then how slow mu medical progression has been? The fact that it's been 13 years and the police and FBI are still coming up at dead ends as to who the woman who murdered my baby was, or why she even did it.
My son's 14th birthday is only a few weeks away, but he didn't even get to live long enough to celebrate his 1st birthday, I don't even know why. And I can't wait to regain my ability to walk again, because regaining my ability to walk, means gaining the ability to go outside and start looking for my son's murderer myself instead of sitting at home trapped in a wheelchair waiting for the police and FBI to to find her. So, writing isn't a big priority for me anymore. I only write now, as a way to exercise my hands, in between relearning to walk.
Never let a disability stop you. Plenty of writers, artists, athletes, do not let either blindness, speech impediments, or limited mobility hold then back from perusing their careers.
Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
Important:
Fraudulent sites are impersonating Wendy Christine Allen.
Fraudulent social media accounts, particularly on Reddit and FaceBook are impersonating Wendy Christine Allen.
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Any websites and accounts you find online that are NOT on this list are NOT Wendy Christine Allen
There are no ebook editions as they are already available digitally here on my website.