Happy 2026!
It is our 30th anniversary here at Space Dock 13!
On the web since 1996!
You have encountered an extremely old website that continues to exist in old web ways, the same way it has done for now three decades.
In spite of being now 30 years old this year, started in 1996, it is still heavily active and old pages updated daily, new pages added daily, still now in 2026. All hand written, all hand coded (no AI), all by me, same as it ever was.
We Still Exist: The Old Web Did Not Go Away, You Just Forgot How To Find Us
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This site was NOT designed for mobile devices (as they had not been invented yet when I created it) thus this site looks best on a computer, at 1280x768 or above. |
This is a very old website created in 1996, so, yes, javascript is needed for the site to work as it should. If things don't function, you may need to update javascript drivers on your device |
This site tries to be mobile friendly but it's been online since 1996, so old pages may not load right on mobile devices, and as this site has had pages added near daily for 30 years there are now over 20k pages here. |
Having started out in life as a GeoCities site, this site contains glitter, bright colours, blinkies, moving gifs, and other things the old web was known for. |
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If you want some stories to get you started in The Pink Necromancer series, reading these first will give you a good introduction to the 3 main characters:
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My Elves Are JellyFish...and I asked Google AI and ChatGPT 5.6 what they thought of this.
As requested, my daily writing prompt series is now available print paperback editions on Amazon.
There are 20 volumes of this writing prompt series currently planned and in varying stages of finishing, hopefully all 20 will be published by the end of 2026. I likely will do a 2nd series of writing prompt books in 2027.
The first of the Visual Novels/Video Games for The Adventures of Quaraun the Inane/The Pink Necromancer series is published and available on Itch.io, there are 3 more planned for release in 2026, 6 more planned for release in 2027, and the big 60-hour 80k word 150 page one (Quaraun Goes To the Fair) is planned for a 2028 release.
There is a Pink Necromancer card game and a Pink Necromancer board game, as well as a Pink Necromancer table top RPG supliment for Dungeons and Dragons, all in the works, and to be released over the next couple of years as well.
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Update Sept 3, 2026:
I am able to get around enough to take Koko to dog park... today is 29 days since getting out of hospital. My diet is still mostly liquid, but im eating some solid food again, but its like rice or soft mushy baby food type stuff because I still can not chew yet, though I can swallow again. My jaw is still not functioning good so im having trouble talking still. So there's been slight improvement to my mouth, throat, and jaw, but, zero improvement to my eye, which is a major concern, be Im almost fully blind right now. im legally blind since birth in my left eye, so I have no ability to fall back on using my left eye. My right eye is the one injured and my vision in it is "40% decreased" according to my doctor, but it wasn't good vision to begin with, and right now my right eye is not much different from my legally blind left eye. Which I why I have to have someone drive my car for me instead of me driving my car myself right now, which is very frustrating, because, being a female, I had to fight for over twenty years to be allowed to drive. I started sneaking out at age 31 and dressing as a man to go to Old Orchard Beach high school to get a ged, because us females are not allowed to go to school. And i was 37 years old when snuck out to the DMV and got a driver's permit and started going to college. I was 42 and 8 months pregnant when my family found out I was going to college and thats when I was punished by the backhoe driving over my house and my spine broken with a golf club and my baby born right then and killed with same golf club. So it's very frustrating now, so soon after finally being able to drive , to now not be able to drive because of an eye injury, especially after 14 years of being paralyzed from the golf club and not being allowed to have a wheelchair, again, because i am female and we females are simply not allowed to do anything. I hate the culture I was born into. I wish I had the freedom to go to school and drive a car the way American women do. I wish having my spine broken with a golf club and my baby killed with a golf club and a backhoe driven over my house was not how men in my family punishment women in my family for learning to read and write. Its so frustrating not being able to to drive again, so soon after 14 years being paralyzed, and being paralyzed by the golf club was the punishment for getting a driver's license back in 2013 after 30 years of men not letting me have one. I hate my family's culture and how they treat us women.
I get so sick of Americans telling me how they wish they could be a Gypsy… they are either misogynist woman hating pigs, or delusional idiots who haven't got a clue how shittily we Gypsy women are treated by Gypsy men, because no one in their righ mind who knows anything about Gypsy culture would ever want to be part of it. I hate that I was born a Gypsy.
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update sept 7, 2026
"You would not make a good teacher"... what does that mean, and why are there so many people on Railroad Ave and Western Ave and Cutts St why walk up to me and say that to me?
I find it very confusing. I have low functioning Autism (the Rain Man type) and so i have very little understanding of words beyond the basic ones, and i never went to to school, so I never learned maths or sciences, and I only had remedial classes at Southern Maine Community College, because I did not have an education to enroll with regular, I was there taking every reading and writing class they had to learn how to read and write, and also took speaking classes to learn how to talk (i spoke Shetland Scottish language because that was language my grandmother spoke but she died when I was 8 so I only knew that language to speak and write, and I was 37 when I went to college and 42 when I learned English speaking and I still cant speak English good yet), all the other classes I took were art painting and cooking.
So the phrase "You would not make a good teacher" makes no sense to me because it seems to imply that I am trying to be a teacher, but I don't have anything close to the education ti be a teacher, and im not trying to be a teacher. So I don't know why people keep saying this phrase to me and I assume it must have some sort of a slang meaning, but I can't figure out what it could be of why do these people keep saying it to me.
see video below for more information:
@eelkat "You would not make a good teacher"... what does that mean, and why are there so many people on Railroad Ave and Western Ave and Cutts St why walk up to me and say that to me? I find it very confusing. I have low functioning Autism (the Rain Man type) and so i have very little understanding of words beyond the basic ones, and i never went to to school, so I never learned maths or sciences, and I only had remedial classes at Southern Maine Community College, because I did not have an education to enroll with regular, I was there taking every reading and writing class they had to learn how to read and write, and also took speaking classes to learn how to talk (i spoke Shetland Scottish language because that was language my grandmother spoke but she died when I was 8 so I only knew that language to speak and write, and I was 37 when I went to college and 42 when I learned English speaking and I still cant speak English good yet), all the other classes I took were art painting and cooking. So the phrase "You would not make a good teacher" makes no sense to me because it seems to imply that I am trying to be a teacher, but I don't have anything close to the education ti be a teacher, and im not trying to be a teacher. So I don't know why people keep saying this phrase to me and I assume it must have some sort of a slang meaning, but I can't figure out what it could be of why do these people keep saying it to me. #mainelife #biddefordmaine #maine #disabilitytiktok #Biddeford ♬ original sound Wendy C Allen | 📚 Author
update Sept 15, 2026:
I have some slight movement in some my fingers again again after over a decade being paralyzed
you remember how I used to be a professional doll making, pattern designer, and embroiderer, back before I became paralized and before my son was murdered and being the backhoe drove over my house?
all my equipment, sewing machines, ect were all destroyed by the backhoe driving over my house, and I have been quardepelegic for over a decade because of it so could not use my hands to sew or draw or embroider, and so only continued to do my writing of novels since then because I could do that with dragon dictation software,
well, since 2016, I been playing Witcher 3 and don't starve video games on twitch livestream, one hand two fingers, as part of my therapy to regain nerve and muscle use of my fingers, and now after 10 years of that, I have somewhat more movement in my fingers and im thinking maybe I can try to do embroidery and doll making again, but not sure, anyways, now im rebuying all of my sewing and embroidery equipment that the backhoe destroyed when it drove over my house, and hopefully I can use my hand enough to embroider again.
waiting for stuff to arrive in mail, so soon I should find out if ten years of twitch gaming has given me enough muscle strength to use my fingers to embroider again.
update to the previous video, answering viewer question about lack of hospital vs broken spine
Wheelchair Fundraiser... I need to upgrade to a power wheelchair, the manual one just isn't enough anymore. But the power wheelchair is $25k. Yes, twenty five thousand dollars. Wtf? I can get a car for a quarter that price, why are wheelchairs so damned expensive? That's more money then I make in five years, so I need to start a fundraiser for it.
I'm going to place a warning on this page, that it is of a triggering and mature nature and the content of this page may not be suitable for readers under the age of 18, so continue reading at your own risk. Thank you.
"Okay, first: I don't want to start a discussion if it's wrong, right, disgusting or whatever. I have a writing/plot related question. Incest in fiction: Is it a decent idea or just a big no-no? I've read quite a bit, and I have seen very few incest. I know you use incest a lot in your fiction. I can't seem to find many other authors that do.
The thing is when people write about incest (not rape/child abuse, I'm speaking of consent here) the trigger for it seems mostly to be proximity - or that's what I came across. I have to admit that just doesn't work for me as an excuse/explanation in the most cases.
I was wondering about incest in fiction, especially in your fiction. I know you have a hard time publishing much of your work because of the incest content. Incest is messed up and illegal in every country in world.
The other issue of it being "with consent". There are books on the psychology of it and most turn into abusers, pedophiles or sexual deviants as a result of it, because children can't give consent even if they do give consent.
It's probably to do with the brains natural filters being crosswired. We know not to eat dead bodies despite there being protein there as it's inbuilt - but some people have disabilities that take them beyond that. But these same good guy main characters of yours they do that too.
Similarly with incest, which is why it is illegal in every country in the world.
I'm writing a story with incest in it but I am not certain how to handle it. In the case of those who enter into consensual sexual relations knowing all along they were siblings and having been raised together, proximity is clearly a necessary but not sufficient condition. (Two people can hardly fall in love if they never see each other, but if that was all it took it would be far more common than it is.)
I guess my question is how do you write these guys are being good guys when they are so messed up?
I can't write it like you do father/son adult/child, see power unbalance bothers me a lot. That's why I only can write incest when it's about siblings - best roughly the same age as well, but than it seems too familiar, too consensual.
See, I've got conflicts here because you know that incest is generally grounds for breaking up families, right? You ever wonder why that might be? Because it's child abuse. I am certain you and your creepy little fetish community have boatloads of justification for why it's okay, but it's not, it is child abuse and I want to write it that way. Except for I worry about causing readers the horrible flashbacks you'd trigger in your readers when writing incest. Also for a lot of survivors, having folks "lie" about what they went through, make it sound consecual when it's not makes it even worse.
See I didn't want to come off as Oh yes. Let's not write about slavery, for concern about the feelings of the slaves who were horrifically abused and degraded. Let's not think about the terrifying experiences that the Holocaust survivors experienced. We must be careful with their sensibilities. And, good lord, never, ever use a war in a story to explore man's emotions as he brutally kills other humans. How callous to even think about writing out a vicious murder, or mapping out the thought process of a rapist. All writing should be concerned with duckies and bunnies.
I don't want to offend people but I don't want to over simplify and seem like I am making fun of others pain either.
It's the one reason I don't make 'Nam jokes around VFW buildings, out of respect for basic human dignity and the horrors of rape and abuse. See my conflict here?
So, when I don't want to use the 'proximity leads to incest' excuse/plot, what else can I use? What else is there except maybe: we didn't know, because we were separated at birth? My MC loves her brother, and I can't convince her otherwise. So trash her or is it possible to use her without being booted?
All help and thoughts are welcome."
I am not sure how I could be of help in your plot. Proximity does lead to incest in real life, so not using it in fiction will cause your readers to feel the story is less believable. You seem to be confused as to what I write and the motivation behind it. I do not write to entertain readers. Heck, I've never written for a reader ever.
To hell with what readers think of what I write. A lot of readers get turned off by what I write and I get mountain mudslides of hate emails as a result of The Twighlight Manor Series. And I absolutely don't care if you hate it or not, though if you find what I write entertaining, than heck, I will think you are a twisted creep. Fact remains I suffer from PTSD and I can not sleep at night unless I completely empty my mind first, and what I write down before I go to bed each night, is what ends up being published under the title of "The Twighlight Manor Series". I don't preplot this thing ad sit around wondering if it's right or wrong or going to offend anybody.
Fact is, life is hell and you do what you have to do to make it from one day to the next and for me, that means writing my brain into oblivion each night so I can sleep without nightmares. But more on that later.
First, let's touch on where you said:
"Similarly with incest, which is why it is illegal in every country in the world."
Actually, that's not true, there are only about a dozen countries where it is illegal, and it's only been illegal in the USA since the 1940s, the same time the age of consent was changed from 10 to 18. Most of Western Europe did not follow suite until as late as the 1970s. Most Eastern Europe, Asia, Mediterranean, Oceanic, and African countries still practice (and in some cases encourage) incest. Some countries in Mediterranean, Oceanic, and Africa expressly FORBID a man from marrying a woman he is NOT related to. In total fewer than 7% of the countries in the world, say that incest is illegal.
In Medieval Europe, Renaissance Europe, and Victorian Europe and Victorian America, it was not only common practice, it was encouraged: Women were property, marriage was rape, age of consent was 10, incest was common practice, religious leaders got first choice of daughters, fathers got second choice, brothers got third choice, the man with the highest bid got to buy her if no priest or man in the family wanted her, and sex was public.
It is important to note that in Medieval times the Catholic leaders: popes, bishops, priests, monks, nuns, etc, were not the celibate unmarried folks we know today. Most were married and had families, polygamy was not an uncommon practice in Medieval times and the wealthier a man was the more wives he could afford to buy. The Catholic church did not forbid leaders from marrying until into the 1600s, well after the Medieval period had ended.
Remember that wives were bought, not married in Medieval times, and a wife was nothing more than a house servant who slept with the master, and there are many books from Medieval times written for men on how to take care of their livestock, and these books contains lists of livestock which include: horses, dogs, cows, wives, pigs, and daughters.
Men could go to the local blacksmith and along with getting his horse shoes, he could also have his wife fitted with a chastity belt (cast iron panties) to prevent other men from using her and a bridle (some of which resembled bird cages bolted to her neck and forehead) which prevented her from talking. Leather makers sold collars and leashes, which wives were lead around by whenever they went out in public. This would have included queens and princesses as well, who most likely to have been kidnapped from enemy kings, and paraded through the streets as trophies, than publicly raped by the king, so that the entire town was a witness to the “marriage”.
Note that the word marriage meant: the act of stealing a woman’s virginity, or the act of claiming ownership by raping her. This was always done publicly, both to shame the female into never allowing another man in her bed, and to show other men, this one’s mine I’ll kill you if you touch her. Medieval people did not have the “sex is a sin to be done in secret” mindset that would develop in Victorian times. Marriage as we know it with the whole white wedding gown and church services, was invented by Queen Victoria herself, who was the first woman to ever wear a wedding gown or get married in a church, or have a wedding that did not involve the woman being dragged into the street and being publicly fucked senseless.
It was a sin to marry (rape) a nun, thus most girls from the 900s to the 1830s elected to become nuns as soon as they got their periods, in order to avoid being raped by their fathers, brothers, and local priests.
Study history. History is messed up. Study geography and current cultures - many current cultures are still living in the dark ages when it comes to incest. So don't going tossing out unresearched and uneducated statements like "illegal in every country in world." because it's not, far from it, and not even close to being illegal in even 10% of the world. That doesn't make it right of course, but it's still something you can't just turn a blind eye to either and say it's not happening when it is.
And legal or not, it happens every day here in the USA.
"So, when I don't want to use the 'proximity leads to incest' excuse/plot, what else can I use? What else is there except maybe: we didn't know, because we were separated at birth? My MC loves her brother, and I can't convince her otherwise. So trash her or is it possible to use her without being booted?"
As I said, I'm really not sure how I can help you out here. Proximity does lead to incest in real life, so not using it in you fiction
will cause your readers to feel the story is less believable. How are you going to get around this? No clue.
Keep her? Trash her? Only you can decide that. How devoted to her are you?
If you are writing a pair of one shot characters you have never used before and will never use again, I'd say trash him, not her. Keep her as the main character, but turn him into the best friend of her brother. Create a third character and have this new character be her brother. That way she can still love the guy and he will no longer be her brother. No incest. Problem solved.
If you are dealing with long time repeating characters, whom you have written many times before and will be writing many times again, and incest is a result of a previous story line, than you have to seriously consider your motivations and where you want to take this story.
I think you need to ask yourself a few questions here, starting with:
“Why do I want to write an incest relationship if I am so repulsed by the concept of it?”
and
“Why is my main character madly in love with her brother? Is she ACTUALLY in love with him? Or is she in love with the idea of him”
You also need to consider something very important: love.
"What is love?"
and then:
"How is love different from lust?"
Next ask yourself:
"Could she live with him forever for eternity 100% devoted to his care and well being even if they never once had sex? Or is sex an integral factor in why she likes him?"
And than consider her reaction to this scenario:
"Is my main character REALLY totally in love with him 100% unconditionally and would do anything for this man even if he was castrated and turned into a sexless eunuch or is she just a lust filled little slut getting horny and would drop him as soon as his penis dropped off?"
Don't know the answer to this? Newsflash honey: If fucking him is front and center on her mind, she is in lust with him not in love with him, and you can have her getting a swift kick in the pants. Have him announce to her that he's decided to live a life without sex and is going to become a eunuch, and see how fast she runs to the next erect dick she comes across.
You must remember that love is not about sex and neither is incest. Your sister and brother team can be in an incestual relationship and never once have sex with each other. If she truly loves him than sex is the last thing on her mind.
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"I can't write it like you do father/son adult/child, see power unbalance bothers me a lot. That's why I only can write incest when it's about siblings - best roughly the same age as well, but than it seems too familiar, too consensual."
One thing I am seeing in your question is you are classifying what I write as incest and consensual sex and I call it what it is: rape. You will never see me referring to “incest”, “incestuous relationships” or any other term using the word incest, in any of my stories, because incest is a term I simply do not use, for the very fact that it does imply the relationship was between two consenting people. Incest does in fact imply consent, because by true definition, incest is a sexual RELATIONSHIP between two related persons. There is no relationship in rape. A relationship implies love, hugs, kisses, cuddles, date nights, friendship, happiness, joy, desire, romance.
So you are reading my stories and thinking: “Huh, she writes about incest, cool.”
And yet, I am writing my stories and thinking: “I write about the horrors of surviving rape.”
See? Different perspective, results in different word usage, which dramatically changes the meaning and intent.
Why do I say this? Well, for one thing, if you are looking at my stories and saying “Hey, incest, cool beans!” than you are seriously fucked up and need a psychiatrist. Okay? Because there is no way this side of hell, for a normal person to look at what I write and see it as anything other than rape and only a sick twisted mind would read what I write and see it as not being rape.
Let me get one thing straight right here and right now: I don’t write about incest, I write about rape. It doesn’t matter to me if the rapists is related to his victim or not, a rapist is nothing but an inhuman monster and it takes more than matching DNA to make someone a family member.
No matter how much matching DNA a rapist and his victim have, if that monster is rapeing that child, he has no right to call himself family and therefor it is not incest, matching DNA or not, because rape is rape and prettying it up by giving it a watered down name does not change the fact that it is still rape. Rape is rape and don’t you ever try to call it anything other than what it is.
Let me repeat this for you, to make sure you really understand it: I DO NOT WRITE ABOUT INCEST; I WRITE ABOUT RAPE.
Okay? Moving on...
The adult/child thing creeps you out because it is creepy. I have Autism. I write what I know. I’ve been with a man 30 years older than me since I was 12. It creeps people out. I’ve never had a relationship with anyone else. I’ve never had any friends my own age. I have no point of reference by which I can write a relationship between 2 consenting adults because I have never been the consenting adult in a relationship. I only have first hand experience with one type of relationship: old man raping pre-teen girl every day, while no one cares, because money speaks louder than the cries of an Autistic child who was forced to be the sex slave of a Mormon high priest. That’s it. I have 27 years of experience in, shut up and let the high priest fuck you or else. I have no experience in what it is like to be loved by a man. I have no experience in what it is like to be treated like a wife. I have no experience in what it would be like to have a friend my own age.
And now here you are asking for my advice on how to write a relationship between two people of similar age? Honey, I can not help you there. I have no clue.
You admit that you can not write like I do (adult/child) and then after admitting that you know I write ONLY adult/child sexual relationships, you ask me to tell you how to write a non-adult/child sexual relationship? Honey, did it not occur to you that perhaps the reason I write ONLY adult/child sexual relationships because I ONLY have personal experience in adult/child relationships and therefore wouldn’t even know where to begin in writing a non-adult/child sexual relationship?
'The other issue of it being "with consent". There are books on the psychology of it and most turn into abusers, pedophiles or sexual deviants as a result of it, because children can't give consent even if they do give consent.'
and
"Incest is sexual abuse and in a
lot of your stories it is like incest, child abuse, pedophilia and other
sexual crimes are I don't know what to call it. These things are crimes
and your main characters, the good guys, are the ones doing this stuff."
You seem to be referencing the relationship between the brothers Etoile de Azure Swanzen and Razzbury Swanzen, who were forced on each other at ages 3 and 9, by a pedophile uncle. I assume this since Etiole and Razz are the only incestuous good-guy main characters I've ever written. Keeping in mind the date of this event: 1667, in a country that was still living in the equivalent of early Medieval times.
I only write one incest couple, a pair of brothers, one gay, the other bisexual, both completely devoted to each other and each lost without the other. They love each other and are in love with each other, and they make love to each other. As with other “incest” relationships in the series, they were forced on each other as children, by adults in their lives. They ended up together for the simple fact that no one else could understand or identify with the trauma they has suffered as children. Their relationship is a quasi-Stockholm one, where they are together because of abuse and being abused together side by side for 10 years, they bonded together. After escaping their attackers they went their separate ways: one becoming a violent soldier who just wanted to kill something, anything, and then wiped out an innocent village slaughtering many women and children, was so shoken up by it that he lived the rest of his life “as” a woman; the other upon escaping, crumbled into a gibbering stupor, suffering night terrors and fearing everything and everyone so much that he locked himself in a room and refused to leave it. It wasn’t until the two of them were reunited as adults that either was able to live anything close to a normal life.
What happened to Etiole and Razz as children, is perhaps the single most horrific and disturbing event of the entire Twighlight Manor series. The thing which readers find even more horrific is the fact that these atrocities actually did happen to many young boys throughout Medieval times.
It was historically accurate for a king to take 2 small boys, dress one up as a girl, and force the other to rape the "female" one. This was a common form of "entertainment" in Medieval times. Nobility thought it was hilarious that such small boys could be forced to have erections, and even more hilarious to see that they could be forced to have erections repeatably again and again and again, for endless hours of the day, day after day. Medical physicians would be present to analyze the boys reactions, including to measure the changes in their penises between each time. The king's court and physicians would continue to force one boy to rape the other boy until both boys passed out from exhaustion, at which point the king and his court would than take over raping the boys while they were unconscious. It was not uncommon for the boys to be as young as 3 years old, and it was not uncommon for the boys to literally be raped to death. Nor was it uncommon for the boys to be served for supper once they were dead. (Cannibalism was VERY common in Medieval times.) Raping boys in front of the entire royal court was a very common past time for Medieval nobility, especially in Eastern Europe. Fact is, doing this to small boys was said by physicians to be "healthy", as it kept the adults from murdering peasants and it taught to boys to be men or so the physicians said. Medieval physicians wrote medical journals with instructions on how to best "cause a boy to fuck" (the term used for ejaculation), and detailed the best ways to cause both the boys to "make fuck at the same time".
As you might have noticed I don't write Medieval fiction that follows the romantic knight rescuing the princess in the tower. I write Medieval fiction that is based on actual documented facts. And I don't sugar coat them and toss cherries on top to make them digestible either. Medieval entertainment was horrendous and brutal and victims were often children and usually died.
In my stories the 2 boys, Etiole and Razz, were subjected to this very real Medieval past time and between their court sessions with the king they spent much of their days locked in a box to keep them from running away (as they often attempted to do. Yes it is horrible and creepy. Yes it is stomach turning. And yes, these things happened every day in real life.
My goal in writing this is not to entertain, but rather to show readers that life is hell, life sucks, children are treated like shit, adults are bastardly monsters, and the adults who stand by and do nothing while things things are happening are even worse than the adults doing it to the children. If you notice, I write my stories through the eyes of the children who live in absolute terror of the adults around them, praying that today they will not live through it so at last the pain will be over.
It's not the fact that I include these events that make the series difficult to find a publisher for, because many books have such events told in them. It is for the explicit, highly detailed, pornographic nature of describing what is happening to the boys step by step, descriptions drawn out and lasting 10 or 12 pages, that cause it to be "unpublishable" by mainstream press.
Had you read later stories in the series you would have known that as adults Etiole and Razz were unable to have healthy sexual relationships with anyone other than each other, and remained a gay, incestuous couple, throughout their lives, with Etiole never adopting the lifestyle of living as a man, but continuing into his adult life living as a transvestite, with few people other than Razz knowing that Etiole was not a woman.
Etiole and Razz were two small boys who were horrendously abused and lived in mortal terror of everyone around them. They grew into men who were unable to function in society and clung to each other out of fear of absolutely everyone else on the planet. Their lives were utterly destroyed by what had been done to them and they never recovered from it.
I can tell you've not read all my stories or you would know that Razzbury, the child who received the most incestuous sexual abuse as a child, went to prison as an adult for doing the same thing to his brother's son. It did mess with his head. It did turn him into a pedophile. It did tear their family apart. And in the stories which feature Razz in prison, the ones told from his point of view, we also see him a very baffled and confused man who is unable to understand why he has been sent to prison for a single offense, when his own uncle never was punished not even after many years of torturing several children - never punished that is until he was murdered by the 13 year old Etiole on the night that Etiole and Razz ran away from The Twighlight Manor never to return.
(Remembering too that Razz is not educated at all, never attended school, was not taught to read or write, has a very low IQ and likely could not learn anything if anyone ever did decide to try to teach him anything, part of the reason it was so easy for adults to sexually abuse him as a child was the fact that he was almost retarded, and keep in mind he suffered much more than just incest abuse as a child - he was well into his 40s before he ever had any social contact with anyone outside of his family, and much of his childhood was spent locked in closets waiting to be taken out long enough to be raped again than tossed back into the darkness once again to await the next rape. Razz was born with mental defects, horribly neglected, terribly abused, and in adulthood had no point of reference to base his own actions as good or bad, they being simply the only thing he knew.)
The confusion in Razz's mind being caused by the fact that as a child Razz had begged and pleaded for help and no one believed or listened to him, and those that did believe him, simply shrugged and said "Well, it happens, it's no big deal." Not only did no one help him, they acted like it was okay, they basically told him that he was the one who had something wrong with him for not enjoying what his uncle was doing to him. They conditioned him to believe, that not only was it right, but it was what an uncle was supposed to do to a child. Razz suffers from serious PTSD and once in prison has a total psychotic break down because for him being in prison is like being sent back to his childhood, being locked in a box waiting to be raped.
Neither Razz nor Etiole were able to survive once separated from one another. When Razz goes to prison, Etiole turns to prostitution (becomes a cross-dressing male prostitute) and we see that Etiole was mentally scarred far worse from his childhood than was at first outwardly seen. Etiole eventually rapes a child than unable to live with the fact he has become the same monster he hated as a child, commits suicide.
And as to inspiration for this... It was not that I had any love for Medieval history, rather it was that I had a "crazy uncle" or so the family called him. He raped, molested, and sexually abused all of his nieces. His 11 brothers and sisters laughed it off and said "It's okay, he's just tickling you." No one did a damned thing to stop him, and the girls who tried to protest got beaten up by their own moms and dads for "Being bad and not obeying your elders." When a girl went to the police, she was looked in a closet-like room for 3 months, because "Only a demon possessed wretch would bring outsiders into the home."
Now you know why there's also an over use of children being sexually abused by a crazy uncle and than locked in an iron maiden by their parents if they protest.
What happens in the stories happens in Medieval times and thus readers overlook it as "just part of the times" and yet it is based on events that happened to me and my cousins in the 1970s, 1980s, 1990s, and right on into 2013 and only stopped because the crazy uncle finally died.
Yes, incest is a predominate theme in my stories, but you got to remember, I have Autism and I write what I know. Nothing ever happens in one of my stories, unless it first happened in my life. When I went searching for help and got none, I went searching for others whom had lived through the nightmare I and my cousins had had to live through as children trapped with a pedophile uncle and that is how I came to discover that we were not alone and that in Medieval times what happened to us was nothing more than everyday practice. This is why l set the stories in Medieval times, as the atrocities of this kind of child abuse are more believable to the reader, set in Medieval times than set in today's era.
Did I mention I have PTSD and write what I know as way to empty my brain each night so I can sleep without nightmares and I don't write this with any amount of plotting or concern for what readers might think because I'm writing it as a way to make it from one day to the next not as a way to entertain a reader?
>Granted this doesn't necessarily mean there isn't some sort of inherent biological drive to avoid incest, but culture can complicate things quite a bit.
uhm... it's a medically proven fact that incest causes serious birth defects including AIDS, albinism, mental retardation, pin heads, etc. That's pretty good biological reasons against it.
Albinism is caused by 3 generations of incest. One can NOT be born an albino by ANY other means. If you are albino, your parents were either siblings or parent and child, as were their parents and the grandparents as well. This is why albinos are so common in tribes of Africa and Papua New Guinea where incest is the norm but rare in first-world countries were incest is uncommon.
5 generations of incest results in babies born with no teeth - as in, they never have teeth, not even as adults.
7 generations of incest results in babies born with no jaw bone
Most ALL babies born to incest regardless of how many generation it happened in the family, are born with hypersensitivity, weakened immune systems, and have symptoms similar to someone who has AIDS.
Some scientists speculate that babies born with AIDS, but whose parents did not have AIDS are in fact children of incest.
AIDS is a result of a man having sex with a chimpanzee, back in the 1950s. He got AIDS from the chimp. It spread from him to his lover. ALL people who have AIDS, have had sex with some who had sex with one of these 2 men. That's something to think about.
Because of the extreme similarities between albinism and AIDS it is suspected that the two illnesses are related and finding a cure for one will help prevent them both.
AIDS is 75% more likely to occur in people who were born as a result of incest, as their genes are physically different and have no ability to fight off AIDS.
80% of all people with small heads and big ears and tiny almost non existent chins are a result of parent to child incest.
Every generation of incest results in a 20% decrease in IQ of the baby. Babies born to 5th generation incest couples are nearly always born vegetables with an IQ under 40. Nearly all 7th generation incest babies are born brain dead at birth and have to be "put to sleep".
Biddeford, Maine, a town with 26,000 residents, is proud to have a Guinness World Record in having more incest then any town in America, at a rate of 73% of all residents being related to each other via incest.
The average IQ of the average resident of Biddeford is 75.
Biddeford is the only city in the country, whose school system uses a different grading system (federal standard is 100=A, 90-99=B, 80-89=C, 70-79=D, -69=F) (Biddeford: 80-100=A, 70-79=B, 60-69=C, 50-59=D, 40-49=F) due to the fact that the majority of students are born of incest and are clinically mentally retarded (IQ of 75 is clinically retarded)
Biddeford, Maine has more social workers to population ratio then any other city in the Union, at a rate of 1 social worker per 14 residents, this is due to the excessive high crime rate caused by the excessive low intelligence of the residents, caused by the excessive high incest rate.
Biddeford, Maine has the highest rape count in the country.
Maine is the only state in America where the Department of Human Services offers a course on "How to not rape your sister, Why you should not have sex with your daughters, and reasons incest should be avoided."
Census . gov gives fascinating statistics.
This page was written by Wendy Christine Allen of 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
All Rights Reserved.
While there are around 20k pages on this website, most of them are blocked from search engines, with only around 800 of them available for appearing in Google/Bing/etc search results. The remainder can only be accessed via the various links found throughout this site. This was done deliberately on my part, and I did it because the bulk of the pages on this website are chapters from 138 novels and 423 novellas, so only the first page of each novel and novella indexed by search engines, and the remainder are linked in order, one page at a time, via clicking "next page" at the end of each. So if you are looking for a specific page from a specific novel, Google can't help you.
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Get an email whenever Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻 publishes on Medium.
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Do you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine on August 8, 2013? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son on November 14, 2013 at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me July 26, 2016 at scarborough WalMart,... they arrived the first time with a backhoe on August 8, 2013, that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since....
... which means it is now only a few weeks from the 14th anniversary of my son's murder. I was 8 month pregnant November 14, 2013, and a student ay SMCC, and coming out of the Buglight Lighthouse art studio after art class, when a still unidentifiedwoman wielding a golf club attacked me, severed my spine, while I was 8 months pregnant, triggered early labour, then killed my son minutes after he was born.
While accusing me of being transgender, screaming "transvestite freak" and "look at that thing, that's Ken's son in a dress"... while I was 8 months pregnant.
My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son and crippled me, arrived the first time with a backhoe that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since. |
The backhoe driver returned November 14, 2013, armed with a golf club, used it to break my spine and smash my baby's brains out on the ground
On November 14, 2013, my son was murdered. I was 8 months pregnant, leaving my college classroom, and just getting into my car, when 3 strangers, a man and two women, armed with golf clubs leapt out from behind my car screaming "kill or be killed, kill the transvestite freaks, kill them all before they kill us! look at that thing! That is Ken's son, look at how it's dressed! kill the transvestite freaks! kill or be killed"... while the bald man and the red haired woman chanted this over and over, the blonde woman, lunged with the golf club.
She severed my spine, I am now a quadriplegic, and been paralyzed arms and legs, and in a wheelchair for 13 years now. She broke my hips, my knees, my legs, ruptured most of my discs, and shattered three of my vertebrae so bad that the shards of bone acted like glass and embedded themselves into my spinal column nerve bundle.
The attack also triggered labour.
My son was born in that parking lot, and he lived only a couple of minutes, before the deranged blonde woman, beat his head in and smashed his brains out, with the same golfclub she had just used to sever my spine and leave me crippled for the rest of my life.
Realizing that I was not transgender, and they'd just murdered a baby, the man grabbed the 2 women and forcibly dragged them away to a 4 door white pickup truck, and they left me there to die.
The FBI told me later, that a few weeks before this attack, and transwoman, had murdered a cis woman, in a parking lot, abou 20 miles away from where I was attacked. The FBI, believes that my attackers, had somehow found out I wrote transgender fiction, connecting my real name to my penname, (my father's name is in fact "Ken", and I do have a brother) and believed that I wrote transgender fiction, because I was myself transgender, even though I'm not transgender. The FBI, believes the attackers, thought I was my brother, pretending to be a woman.
The FBI investigation, into my son's murder, has dragged on for 13 years, and still now in 2026, continues on, with the FBI, still not having yet identified my attackers, and only guessing at what their motive was.
Thus we come to 2014, and the full swing change of the series I write. WHY my series, went from just a transman main character living life, to the full blown Mpreg genre series that it now is today.
Before the attack, I had a chance of having a baby. I don't know. And because I'm in America, I'm too old to adopt. You have to be under 45 years old to adopt a baby. That is the law in America. I was informed this, when we tried to adopt, now that my injuries leave me unable to get pregnant a 9th time.
Thus began my obsessively writing, my transman main character, pregnant. Always pregnant now. Every time. Every story. Stories that now fully focus on pregnancy, labour, miscarriages, babies dying, babies living, raising babies... the whole series, since 2014 has devolved into an outright baby obsession.
Meanwhile, reborn baby dolls were suggested to me by my therapist, and have also become a deeply obsessive part of my life. Because 13 years ago my son was murdered minutes after he was born, because a transphobic bigot mistook me for being transgender, I'm STILL in a wheelchair, struggling to relearn to use my arms and legs, now 13 years later, and I'm still DAILY dealing with police officers and FBI agents who while they are trying to find my son's killer, they are also daily reminding me... oh, yeah, my son was murdered, literally ripped out of my belly, by a transphobe. Who still has not been located and walks free to kill again.
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The golfclub woman as she looked during the golf club attack at Southern Maine community college November 14, 2013. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
The golfclub woman as she looked during the shopping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart July 26, 2016. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
The 2nd woman as she looked at both attacks, her hair goes all the way down to her knees. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer's accomplice, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
I am a legally blind quadriplegic, and low verbal, I have also published 138 novels in the last 48 years. It's not as impossible as people think. The problem being blind and quadriplegic, medically have different meanings then how those two words are used medically.
Fewer than 3% of all blind people see nothing. While 97% people who are classified as fully blind are able to see up to two feet in front of them. Legally blind means I can see more then two feet in front of me but not far enough to see twenty feet in front of me. In my case I can see about eight feet.
Quadriplegic, has varying levels, it means having a damaged nerve bundle in the spinal column causing limited mobility of all 4 limbs, (in my case this was done by a women wielding a golf club, who also beat my 8 month infant's head to pulp on the parking lot tarmak, at the same time she severed my spine with the same golf club; both on November 14, 2013; the FBI investigation into my son's murder and my being crippled has gone on now for 13 years, a few weeks away from 14 years now, and the FBI has still not identified the killer or her motive). Contrary to popular misconception, quadriplegic does NOT mean ZERO movement, it means means limited movement, specifically in means unable to lift arms over head, unable to grip fingers around objects to pick them up, and unable to stand for more then 5 minutes to a time. Because there are so many thousands of nerves in each limb it is actually very rare for there to be 100% no movement, but how much, and to what extent varies by patent depending upon the specific point of injury to the spinal column.
Meaning typing is still possible for over 60% of all quadriplegics.
In my case, it was the lower spine that was severed, cutting off completly my ability to move my right leg, leaving limited feeling in my left leg, and an ability to stand but not walk, with crutches, for the first 9 years. I regained enough nerve growth in my legs by the 9th year to be able to take ten or twelve steps allowing me to get out of bed for the first time since the golf club attack; This in turn lead to me being able to start using a wheelchair, as I was able to sit upright for the first time as well.
Because the shattered vertebrae bone fragments are broken off completly and embedded into the nerve bundle just above my tailbone, doctors were saying I would never walk again, but now at 13 years, I am able to push mu wheelchair like a walker, a distance of almost a thousand steps a day. Though doctors are still doubtful I will ever walk "normally" again, I have proven them wrong, when their said 13 years ago, that I would never walk again at all.
But because of the placement of the damage to my spine, regaining hand use, was always thought possible, it was just a matter of waiting long enough for nerve regrowth, along side daily finger exercises. I was able to continue writing, after becoming quadriplegic, because I still have use of my right thumb, and 2 fore figures of my right hand. And can type 90 words per minute with those 3 fingers.
I however have no wrist strength, elbow strength, or shoulder strength, so I am not able to form a fist, or lift objects, or brush my hair, or my teeth, all thing I have to have my caretaker do. But, those things are not needed for typing. Unfortunately, my pinky and ring fingers are "nerve dead" and drag over the keyboard, and cause horrific spelling errors and typos, which are incredibly frustrating to deal with.
Unfortunately trying to edit errors myself, just makes the errors worse, because those same two fingers drag over the keyboard yet again. Prior to the golf club attack, I rarely had spelling errors; now I got more spelling errors then someone is learning English as second language. Editing is a challenge, that I've had to accept, I simply can not do myself, and I have to hire several editors to help with that.
Low verbal means sounds can still be made, sounds that software programs like Dragon can be trained to recognize and translate, and type into full words. More then half my novels were typed with this method.
I still have a long ways to go before I am anything close to being able to do the things I could do before the golf club woman beat my baby's brains out and shattered my spine. And you know what's more frustrating then how slow mu medical progression has been? The fact that it's been 13 years and the police and FBI are still coming up at dead ends as to who the woman who murdered my baby was, or why she even did it.
My son's 14th birthday is only a few weeks away, but he didn't even get to live long enough to celebrate his 1st birthday, I don't even know why. And I can't wait to regain my ability to walk again, because regaining my ability to walk, means gaining the ability to go outside and start looking for my son's murderer myself instead of sitting at home trapped in a wheelchair waiting for the police and FBI to to find her. So, writing isn't a big priority for me anymore. I only write now, as a way to exercise my hands, in between relearning to walk.
Never let a disability stop you. Plenty of writers, artists, athletes, do not let either blindness, speech impediments, or limited mobility hold then back from perusing their careers.
Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
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There are no ebook editions as they are already available digitally here on my website.