NaNoWriMo 2021 - New Untiled Quaraun Novel - being written live on Twitch - the WiP vomit draft for you to read as I write it is HERE |




Congratulations!

You have reached Maine's largest and most trafficked website. 

The official website of Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies

As of February 2021, we are now getting up to 7 MILLION visits per day!


This is the home page of

Maine author, artist, Voodoo Priestess, Gypsy Queen, and art car designer:

EelKat Wendy Christine Allen

Chances are high, I'm the most famous person, you'll ever meet.

I am EelKat

The REAL Gypsy Witch Stephen King based his Thinner Gypsy witch off of

and owner of the REAL World's Most Haunted car,

the car Stephen King based his fictional Christine off of,

My family, we are the Gypsies you see in The Thinner, the movie was filmed on my farm,

Founder of The Procter & Gamble Boycott

EelKat of Squidoo, EelKat Voice of the Voiceless.

EelKat Etiole's Friend.

We are the Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Saco, Biddeford, Scarborough, Wells, Kennebunk, Sanford, Bangor, and Palmyra, Maine.


This website started in 1996 and is updated, edited, and added to daily. (NOTE do keep in mind since the April 10, 2015 murder of my children, this site is no longer updated daily, and very few new writing articles are added any more - since 2015 updates have been about weekly and usually are about the continued ongoing investigation into the murder of my family.) 

As of 2021 it has more than 10,000 pages. However, only around 2,000 pages are indexed by search engines (robot blockers and/or passwords, prevent the rest from being findable by Google/Bing/Yahoo/etc.). Around 8,000 pages can only be accessed by clicking on direct links to them. The links are found on other pages on this site. Confusing? Perhaps. But whenever one of those difficult to find 8,000 pages gets traffic, I know that you are VERY dedicated in reading what I wrote or doing some stalker level digging to reach those search engine inaccessible pages and I'd rather not waste my time writing stuff for uninterested parties, plus it's fascinating to see how deep some people are willing dig to find every last word I wrote.

I published my first novel in 1978. Since then I have published 138 novels, 30 non-fiction books, 2,000+ short stories, a dozen plays, a few comic book scripts for Disney's Uncle Scrooge and Donald Duck comics, a few dozen novellas, and 10,000+ non-fiction articles.

I am asexual and famous for 4 decades of writing 100% sexless stories, laced in extreme blood-gore-and-violence. But in spite of that, in recent years, most people classify me as an Erotica author. I don't know why, as I've never written Erotica or even any sex scenes, and as I am a nun, raised as such from the age of 3, I wouldn't even know how to write sex or Erotica. If you came here looking for sex, BDSM, Erotica, or Dominatrix's, please return to whomever sent you and tell them to burn in Hell where their immoral ass belongs. Also, do tell me their name so I can put a curse on them, so they will never enjoy sex ever again, to punish them for spreading lies about me and connecting my name to anything related to sex at all. I find sex vile and despicable and want no part of your perverse degradation near me.

All of my fiction works are about Alien Elf Wizards who live in Old Orchard Beach, Maine. All of my non-fiction works are about the history of Maine, it's Gypsy Clans, and most especially Old Orchard Beach the town which was settled and founded by my family.

Most of these pages answer reader questions on the worldbuilding, character creating, plotting, writing, editing, and publishing process of my work. 

Others are on the history of my people, The Gypsies of Maine, our culture, our lifestyle, our cars, and our religion.

The rest of the pages are daily updates of the terrorist attacks by Maine's White Supremacists on my non-white family, including updates of the FBI investigation of the April 10, 2015 murder of my children.




IMPORTANT UPDATE:

Due to the murder of my family and the resulting court cases, police investigations, and FBI investigations, I no longer have time to daily update this website.

Likewise ALL novel, short story, and article writing projects are on hiatus.

All book releases, book signings, workshops, and convention appearances for 2015 (and unknown amount of time after) are on hold while the murder investigation of my family is ongoing.

Writing advice for the worldbuilding, character creation, and other writing how to articles are on hold.

From now on, the bulk of updates here will be about the investigation into the murder of my family.

No, NOT just THIS author website, not JUST the EelKat pename, not just self published books: ALL 15 (fifteen) of my penames are on hiatus, that includes traditional published books as well, newspaper reporting jobs, editing jobs, my work for Harlequin Romance Novels, my work for Disney... EVERYTHING is on hiatus. Every publishing house I work for, every series I write, every penname I write under: they are ALL on hiatus, ALL projects.

There is NOTHING being published under ANY penname, not for ANY series, not for ANY publisher, from 2015 onward. EVERYTHING is on hold due to the murder of my family. I do not know when or even if, any of the projects will be restarted or finished.

Yes, BOTH the magazines I owned are indefinitely shut down because of this as well, with no plans for either magazine to return. The publishing house I own is also closed to submissions from now on, we will no longer be publishing anything. It is unlikely we will reopen the publishing house either.

All book signing tours, workshops, letures, PAX events, ComicCon events, carnival/festival/state fair/car show events are also canceled. I will not be attending ANY of them. If a venue still has my name listed as a guest/speaker/etc it is because they've not yet removed it. I WILL NOT be there, no matter where it is! 

EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE, IS CANCELED!

The ONLY thing continuing from this point on, is THIS website, where I'll post updates on the murder investigation, hopefully every week, but, you know how it is when 10 members of your family are beheaded, it's kind of difficult to have a schedule for anything anymore.

April 10, 2015 my 12 children were kidnapped,
from 146 Portland Ave. Old Orchard Beach, Maine.

May 15, 2015, ten of their heads were nailed to my door.

Do you have information?

FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the 
Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the case.

If you have information about the April 10, 2015 murder of my family 
or any of the attacks on our home and relatives, give it to him not me.
He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 









Kindle Sales Figures (June 2015)




[quote author=NAME REMOVED FOR BOOK PUBLICATION EDITION]What do your sales look like? Can you show me some actual numbers?[/quote]


Well, we are 3 days into the month (today is June 3, 2015), and if I go to my Amazon KDP Dashboard, select "Month-to-Date Unit Sales" I am told that so far this month, my books have sold: 

The Night of The Screaming Unicorn  (B00N97L1D6) 29 copies 

- The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane (serial) Volume 1

  • $2.99 x 70% = $2.09 x 29 = $60.61 income in 3 days

Wasted Time (B00LFUX1XC) 16 copies

- Twisted Tales series (a stand alone)

  • .99c x 35% = .35c x 16 = $5.60 income in 3 days

The Night of the Red Lightning - My Alien lover series (B00Y5CN9DY) 5 copies

- My Alien Lover (serial) Volume 1

  • .99c x 35% = .35c x 5 = $1.75 income in 3 days

Where the Heck Is the Ceiling? (B008FD90QE) 4 copies

- Twisted Tales series (a stand alone)

  • .99c x 35% = .35c x 4 = $1.40 income in 3 days

Quaraun and The Vampire: Into The Swamp of Death (B00T72LVEQ)  1 copy

- The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane (serial) Volume 8

  • $2.99 x 70% = $2.09 x 1 = $2.09 income in 3 days 

What Homeless People REALLY Want: A Behind The Scenes Look Into The Everyday Life Of The Scottish Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Maine  (B00WFU89O2) 1 copy

- Memoirs of a Gypsy Queen Book 2 (non-fiction series)

  • .99c x 35% = .35c x 1 = .35c income in 3 days

So that is 56 sales in 3 days, meaning I'm averaging about 18 sales a day so far this week, bringing in an income of $71.80 in 3 days. Which as you can see is not earth shattering, and is more then what you'd make at a part time minimum wage job. (Minimum wage currently being $7.50 an hour and part time being 20 hours or less = AT MOST $150 in 7 days.

  • $71.80/3 = $23.93 a day = $167.51 a week = $8,710.52
  • ($7.50hr x 20hrs = $150) $150/7 = $21.43 a day = $150 a week = $7,800
  • $8,710.52 a year is $910.52 more then minimum wage per year. 

Yes, someone working part-time minimum wage earns ONLY $7,800 a year. For some reason it always surprises people when they find out just how low a minimum wage income actually is. $7.50 an hour for 20 hours a week is ONLY $7,800 a year. I'm left to assume that minimum wage is much, much higher then $7.50 an hour in other states, as one author commented that they had no idea there were any states with a minimum wage less than $12 an hour. Actually, the minimum wage was only just recently increased to $7.50 in 2012. It had been $5.30 prior to 2012. So in 2012 that chart would have looked like this:

  • $71.80/3 = $23.93 a day = $167.51 a week = $8,710.52
  • ($5.30hr x 20hrs = $106) $150/7 = $15.15 a day = $106 a week = $5,512
  • $8,710.52 a year is $3,198.52 more than (the 2012) minimum wage per year. 

Apparently the cost of living is MUCH lower in Maine, then it is in the lower 48, because from 2006 to 2013 my income was about $2,000 a year and I had no trouble living on that, and from the 1980s to 2006, my income was rarely more than $900 a year and I had no trouble living on that either. And minimum wage only paid out $5,500 a year, as little as 2 years ago (2012) and there's more than a million people in the state, living on minimum wage, working only part time jobs, so, you can see why I get confused when, people like that guy in the blog post you sent me, are complaining that they can't pay a $2,000 a month rent on their exorbitant $30,000 a year income. And why I ask, where the hell does he live that $30k is a low income or that rent is $2k a month? He doesn't live here in Maine, that's for sure. Anyone with a $30k income here in Maine would be seen as a millionaire. 

Keep in mind, that even though it is a VERY LOW income,  compared to a non-author working a regular day job, my income, for my word count, and my genre is considered VERY HIGH and ABOVE AVERAGE when compared to other authors of short Bizarro. My results are not typical. No, my sales are nowhere near as high as Virginia Wade's, but neither is any one else's in Monster Porn, and as low as my sales are, I'm considered to be selling way above average, for my genre. 

You will also notice that only 3 of the 6 titles sold in the last 3 days are Monster Porn, however 35 of the 56 books sold in the past 3 days were Monster Porn.

Also of the $71.80 made in 3 days, $60.61 was made by a single title and yes that title is a Monster Porn title.

I will remind you at this point that the Quaraun series is Yaoi (Boy Love) not Erotica and My Alien Lover is "soft porn" mildly-Erotic Romance, not Erotica. Meaning that exactly 0 of the 56 books sold in the last 3 days, were Erotica. My Erotica titles rarely sell more the 1 or 2 copies per title per month. It would be unusual to see an Erotica title show up on the list. Keeping in mind too, that I only have a few Erotica titles to begin with.

Do keep in mind that I write Monster PORN, not Monster EROTICA. They are different. I point this out, because most people who contact me asking for information on writing Monster Porn, don't ACTUALLY want to write Monster Porn, but instead want to write Monster Erotica. Monster Porn is DIFFERENT from Monster Erotica, and unlike what the titles suggest, Monster Porn is actually far tamer (sex wise) then Monster Erotica. Because the phrase Monster Porn actually means "Obsessed with Monsters" NOT "Sex with Monsters". It is Monster Erotica, which means "Sex with Monsters". 

Ever seen the movie Nightmare on Elm Street. THAT is Monster Porn. So isn't Saw. And The Human Centipede. Best Monster Porn movie ever made: Phantom of the Opera staring Robert Englund.

Ever seen the movie Twilight? That is Monster Erotica for kids. 50 Shades of Grey is Monster Erotica featuring a male Human in place of the monsters.

If heads ain't rolling and blood ain't covering EVERYTHING: It ain't Monster Porn. In written form the genre is called Monster Porn, when made into a movie it's called Gorn for Gory Porn.

While Monster Erotica is a subgenre of Erotica, Monster Porn is a subgenre of SplatterPunk Horror.

Monster Erotica has happily ever afters with the girl marring her monster lover and having lots half-breed babies.

Monster Porn ends with the girl losing her head and the monster eating her entrails after brutally fucking her to death.

While Monster Erotica ALWAYS has high heat level sex, Monster Porn may or may not have sex and the sex scenes can range from mild to wild. Monster Erotica is more likely to follow standard typical sex fetishes (BDSM, spanking, knotting with ropes, etc), while Monster Porn is more likely to have freaked out fantasy fetishes (barbed penises, fanged vaginas, monsters with 2 or 3 dicks, tentacles, knotting with long penises that can be tied in knots, etc.)

Also, Monster Erotica is unlikely to feature rape or murder scenes. Monster Porn is highly likely to have outright rape going on and the human party is HIGHLY likely to be killed and eaten by the monster after sex is over.

Monster Erotica almost never has blood, guts, or violence. Monster Porn has a HIGH level of grizzly medieval style torture, and lots of slasher flick style blood, guts, and gore being splattered on the pages.

Monster Porn is violent. Monster Erotica is not.

MOST Monster Erotica can be found on Amazon.

MOST Monster Porn is BANNED by Amazon and is NOT available on Amazon. It is VERY DIFFICULT to sell Monster Porn on Amazon and most authors of it, are stuck with posting it as free reads on FanFic .net or their own blog, or selling pdfs off their own website, or having local print shops print up chapbooks to sell through underground sex fetish shops.

People who are only just jumping on the bandwagon are quick to think Monster Porn and Monster Erotica are the same thing. They are not. Monster Porn has been around for centuries. Monster Erotica is a new genre that was created by Virgina Wade less then a decade ago.

Know the difference between Monster Porn and Monster Erotica. And know that I write Monster Porn NOT Monster Erotica.

While you can use this book to write Monster Erotica, this book is about Monster Porn.

How does this week's sales so far compare to other weeks? It's a pretty typical week. $35 to $75 a week is what I see most of the year, with sale fluctuating between books. My slow weeks (usually in December to March) typically run to $12 to $35 a week, while my busy weeks (usually in late September to mid-November) typically run to $75 to $150 a week. My biggest week of the year is always the week leading up to Halloween. Monster Porn sales go through the roof in late October, the closer it gets to Halloween and can bring in as much as $600 that one week. So you can see what I mean when I say sales go up and down throughout the year. There's a big difference between $12 one week and $600 the next. Monster Porn is not an income you can rely on to be stable or steady. It goes up and down all year long.

Topics can affect sales by the time of year. For example Contemporary Romance sells best (for me) in February, just before Valentine's Day. Mermen stories sell best in July and August. Monsters do best in October. I don't know if it's the same for other authors or not, so your results may vary.

Most short story authors I've talked to, report fewer then 3 sales a week per title and a total income across all titles combined of under $50 a month. I am making more in 3 days, then the average short story author reports making in 30 days.

Most Bizarro authors I've talked to, report fewer then 3 sales a month per title and a total income across all titles combined of under $10 a month. I am making more in 1 day, then the average Bizarro author reports making in 30 days. Still think you are going to become a millionaire by writing Monster Porn?

I'm sorry if this bursts your bubble, but the reality of the matter is, not many authors writing Monster Porn are making anything close to minimum wage. I'm considered to be one of the higher paid Monster Porn authors and, my income is only a little bit above minimum wage. A few, very few, (you can count their names on 1 hand) are, like Virginia Wade, making huge amounts of money. A few more, maybe a dozen or so, are (like myself) making a part-time minimum wage income. Most (hundreds of authors) are lucky if their Monster Porn top $200 in a single year.

You can dream of becoming the next Virginia Wade, sure, but don't come into Monster Porn, expecting instant success and overnight huge sales. There just are not enough readers of this genre to support an author on nothing but Monster Porn.

I've asked most of the Monster porn authors out there, why it was they only ever wrote 2 or 3 Monster Porn and then went back to regular human on human Erotica, and in every case, they reported: Monster Porn was harder to write then they thought, the reviewers were slaughtering their books, and sales were down the toilet.

Monster Porn is not easy to write unless you have a good working knowledge of mythology (reviewers will tear your book to shreds if you get the mythology wrong) and, it doesn't sell as well as urban myth would have you believe. You REALLY gotta love this genre enough to write a LOT of it, in order to make a livable career income out of it. 

The short of it is, that if you are not screaming fangirl love for sex with monsters from the rooftops, you really are not going to enjoy writing Monster Porn enough to write more then 2 or 3 volumes of it.

You remember, that I said I write LOTS of genres: 30+? Well, this is why. My primary genre is Bizarro with a heavy focus on it's sub-genres: Monster Porn and Weird Horror, but I also write Science Fiction, Fantasy, Westerns, Romance, etc, because I have bills to pay. I write Monster Porn because it is the thing I love to write. I write other genres to pay the bills.











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