EelKat Wendy C Allen - Dark Fantasy Author

UPDATE March 17, 2021: Another death. Waiting for a coffin to be delivered. Funeral the 21st. Unlikely to be streaming for a few weeks.


Update: March 27, 2021: It's not even been a week since the funeral, and now there is another death and another funeral.


UPDATE April 5, 2021: There are still no streams, as, we've now a another (a 3rd) funeral to prepare for.

And that is now 3 deaths in our family, in the past 2 weeks.

This 3rd death hits hard, because it was Pippi.

Our family has now had 13 deaths since March 2020.

April 10, 2015, 12 children were kidnapped.

May 15, 2015, the heads of 10 of them were nailed to my door.

August 24, 2020, one was found still alive. he was just 4 years old when she was kidnapped, but she remembered us, even though 5 years had passed.

August 25, 2020, Pippi came home, but her condition was not well. She had been tortured the entirety of the 5 years she had been held hostage. She was missing limbs and covered with scars, had broken bones many years not set, and suffered serious damage to many of her internal organs. That she was alive at all, in her condition, was a miracle. Doctors had little hope of her survival and she was sent home with Hospice care.

Pippi had cancer in her eye and needed surgery for it, which she was scheduled to have, shortly before she was kidnapped.

In the years they had her, not only did they torture her, but her cancer went untreated and spread to her brain.

By the time she was returned to us, her cancer had reached an inoperable state, so we knew she did not have much time left.

Had her cancer been treated, back when she was a toddler, she probably would have reach adulthood.

She died only 8 months after her return.

Another child, to cry out from the grave, for Etiole's vengeance upon her murderers. Another victim of evil men, who will stoop to no ends, to bury the crimes they committed 50 years ago.  Drug lords. Opium growers. Heroine dealers. Selling little girls 4 to 8 years old for sex to priests. They only care about money.

All hail the mighty tourist ass. Millions come to Old Orchard Beach every year, for one thing and one thing only: heroine. They sell their drugs to the tourists under the pier and off the balconies of that giant motel. Than drag little girls to the bedrooms of the condominiums on Smithwheel Road, behind the school. And any child who dares open their mouth and beg for help, gets tossed in the GooseFare Brooke Ravine.

Bastard drug lords. They've been doing this for 50 years, and the town hall and the police department, turn a blind eye to it, because they get paid $6million a year to not report it to the newspapers, when the body of another child washes down the ravine, into the gulley to be spit out in the ocean. No fewer than 5 bodies are found every summer, but how often does it get in the news?

The corruption of this fucking town needs to end.

Yet another dead at the hands of these criminals who run our town.

How long will the residents continue to turn a blind eye to what is happening in our town.

How many more children will you let them kill, before you stand up to them?

Another child is dead and no one in this town cares. So long as they get their money from the tourists. The blood of another murdered child screams from the graves, begging for justice. Tick tock, tick tock, so begins, yet another of Etiole's 7 year clocks.

This is why there were no/to few streams from May 2020 until now.

May 2020, after 4 years of not hearing from them at all, the FBI returned with a lead, which led to Pip's discovery a few weeks later in August.

Because of the nature of the situation, I could not talk about it, to tell you why streams had stopped.

The kidnappers, were enraged that we had recovered Pip, and that is when the attacks started up again on my home and family September 2020.

Pip's condition continued to grow worse, and she died April 5, 2021.

She was only 10 years old.

This is what it means, to not be white in America.

White men, won't even give a child the chance to grow up.

This is what white people do, to none white families like mine.

We are Gypsies with Jewish blood, for that alone we are hunted like animals.

What the men of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, did to my family, will never be forgotten or forgiven.

#If you have any information on the kidnappers or the murders...

#FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the of the April 10, 2015 kidnapping of my 12 children by 14 Ku Klux Klan men who invaded our home and the subsequent May 15, 2015 murder of 10 of the 12 whom had their heads nailed to my front door. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 

Have you forgot the extent of the damage these people did, all because, they wanted to dig up my land and removed bodies buried there, before my house builders found that barrel of bones?

Have you forgotten that 7 town hall workers, 5 public works men, a blond woman, her bald son, and her red haired sister Kendra, and 14 police officers, all lead by a man they referred to as "Mark who needs no last name" were the ones 

I name every one of them, except for the ring leaders: blond woman, her bald son, her sister Kendra, and her husband "Mark who needs no last name". I don't know who those 4 are. I'd never seen any of them, other than the Kendra woman before, and I only knew her fro her attacks beating me up at Panera in 2009, 2010, and 2013.

I can name every one of the others, because all I have to do is go to the Old Orchard Beach town hall and police department website, and their are their faces.

With the exception of blond woman, her bald son, her sister Kendra, and her husband "Mark who needs no last name", every one else involved was government official who works for the state of Maine vis the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall, the Old Orchard Beach Police Department, or the Old Orchard Beach Public Works.

And what exactly did they do?

August 8, 2013 they drove a backhoe over my house. That same backhoe drove over my previous house on the same land April 2007. That same backhoe drove over my poultry barn and horse stables July 2001. July 2001 was the first attack.

March 2015 was the the massive attack, with an entire fleet of trucks, and drove over the Church of the Holy Rhinstone, a church that stood on my land, my garage which is why I no longer have a garage to put my car in, my 2 sheds both of which had my tractors and other garden/crop machinery in them at the time. And of course the razing of the land, the cutting down of the apple orchard - the VERY apple orchard planted in 1530 that this town was named after... he actual "old orchard" of Old Orchard Beach... the very original trees - huge massive apple trees over 400 years old. The grape vineyards, the cherry trees, the pears trees. 

April 10, 2015, they returned, 4 police officer held me a gun point, while 10 other police officers held my children down with long poles with metal wire strangle loops on the end, and beat their faces in with cinder block bricks, knocking out every one of their teeth, breaking their jaws... POLICE OFFICERS DID THAT... while men they referred to as "Mark who needs no last name" and "Dan" stood there and told the police officers what to do, how to beat them, while "Mark who needs no last name" boldly bragged that he paid the Old Orchard Beach police $6million dollars to do this.

May 15, 2015... the heads, hands, feet, and intestines of my children were nailed to my door. Later that same day police officer W. W. came to my home begging for forgiveness and claimed that men he referred to only as "Mark and Dan" were holding his beloved mother-in-law hostage and torturing her, and he helped in the April 10, 2015 attack, only to save her life and get her back. He claimed he had no prior knowledge of what was going to happen, claiming that he'd been told they were only going to "scare" us. He said he had not expected anyone to get hurt, he had not known my children would be tortured and kidnapped, he had not known they were going to be murdered. He said he was scared for his life and lives of his family. And he said: "They form a small army, our department doesn't have enough man power to stop them, and every one in this town is too scared to fight back. You don't know what's going on. And I think they mixed you up with someone else. They didn't know you were the owner of this land. They didn't know that was your motorhome. They thought someone else owned this place. It wasn't even your family they were after. You were the wrong target. You don't know who these people are. What they've done to our families. This is the actual Mafia. The real deal. I'm so sorry. This is the address they sent us to. But they had a different name as the owner. This wasn't supposed to happen. They were after someone else. I'm so sorry. I couldn't let my family died. And now yours is dead instead. This wasn't supposed to happen."

June 19, 2016... I did a very specific livestream. You see... A., D., B., and T. in the 1970s and 1980s, were in the habit of dragging big black trash bags into the forest, crossing my land to do it, and dumping those bags into the Goosefare Brook Ravine. In 1983, 3 snuck into Etiole's swamp and planted 3 acres of Marijuana. Someone found it and called the police, I don't know who... it was Maine's largest drug raid for decades. Many, many millions in plants where dug up and removed from Etiole's swamp. A few weeks later A, & D,s 10 year old daughter ran into my yard, touched my car on a dare from other children - the 1964 Dodge 330 former Old Orchard Beach police car, known by Stephen King fans as the REAL Christine, The World's Most Haunted Car... than jumped her bike, and sped down the road, as fast as she could, head on into a car coming the other way. She died instantly, he brain shattered all over the end of my driveway, and her mother A responded by the Battle of 458 - the biggest mass shooting ever in Maine history, that ended up with 3 Gypsy clans and 2 police departments, in a shoot out between 70+ adults all armed with guns. One of my cousins, an 8 year old boy, standing 3 feet from me, had his eye shot out by one of the bullets. While A ran around the street screaming: "FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shot another child. 

"FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shoot another child. 

"FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shoot another child. 

THOSE are the 31 children, whose bones were sawed up and tossed into the GooseFare Brook Ravine... yes, that DOES mean, police officers KNEW those children were there and covered it up.  And I witnessed that entire event.

And THAT is WHY... when police officers murdered my family in 2015, I did a livestream, walking to the ravine, to show the world, where those bones were... because I'm sick and tired of the police corruption in this fucking town, and those sawed up bones of 31 children are PROOF of what this town government is like.... as are the heads of my children that were nailed to my door.

At the end of The Battle of 4-5-8... A. took 2 gas cans and poured them all over the big dome house, than set a match to it, and no one knew, why when she did her brother B., started running, jumped in his robin egg blue truck and backed down the driveway, hit Portland Ave doing 70 and didn't stop driving until the high speed chase caught him in CT... oh but we knew before he was out of sight, why he started running... the dome house went up like Hiroshima into a mushroom cloud that could be seen across the entire state... turns out there was a Meth lab in that house.

June 19, 2016... the livestream of the bones went viral, it's what made my YouTube channel suddenly explode overnight... and police officer W.W. upset, by the fact that, the livestream included the entire police call and response, and that response was to laugh and do nothing... fed up with the corruption in his department, he forwarded that livestream VOD to the FBI, and the FBI arrived in Old Orchard Beach, to dig up the Reclaim Blueberry Plains, and all hell broke lose in this town, as most of the police officers suddenly found themselves arrested. An entire new police force from out of state was brought in to replace the long time officers who had proven they could be trusted to uphold the law. Many town hall officials and public works employees also found themselves arrested by the FBI.

June 26, 2016... barely a week later... the blond woman and the red haired Kendra woman showed up at my workplace, Scarborough WalMart, and tried to kill me, yet again... these are the same 2 woman who attacked me with golf clubs at Southern Maine Community College November 14, 2013... they left dead in 2013, I was paralized for 5 months. It took me 18 months to relearn to walk. I was out of the wheel chair, and I was without a walker, I was without a cane. I had almost fully covered from their November 14, 2013 attack with golf clubs... June 26, 2016, this time they attacked with shopping carts, and I'm now crippled for the rest of my life. They shattered 3 vertebra this time and it can't be operated on. I had to relearn to walk a second time, and I'm not yet recovered now in 2021. In 2013 they drove away in the 4 door white pickup truck. In 2016 they drove away in a gold Volvo SUV station wagon.

That blond woman and her red haired Kendra sister, they are wanted by the FBI for attempted murder of me and they are also wanted in questioning for being suspected of also being the murderers of my children.

I don't know who these 2 women are.

The blond woman shows up my driveway frequently, screaming and yelling, sometime accompanied by a small child, about 5 years old, that she pulls behind her in a red radio flyer wagon. She looks to be about 60 or 70. She often wears a denim button down shirt and jeans. She's prone to yelling at passing cars, while pointing up my driveway, and saying: "There's EelKat, she tried to kill my husband."

I've never tried to kill anyone, so accusation is baffling at best.

She seems to think I know who she is, and has made the claim, that "I was that brat in school"... the red haired Kendra woman, sometimes with her, claims to be her sister, also appears to be 60 to 70 and also seems to think I know who she is, and frequently says: "You bullied me in school, but no more, I'm Kendra SilverMander it's my turn to shine."

They BOTH make the claim they went to school with me, and yet, I never went to school, a well documented fact... because I'm the child the FBI rescued what the news media called "Maine's House of Horrors". I was locked in a cage when I was 8 years old. I was let out on Sundays, to go to church, and not allowed to speak or make eye contact with anyone, and this was only done infrequently, whenever church goers asked what happened to that girl you had". I was 31 years old when the FBI arrived, because of Heaven's Gate having killed 39 people, and my uncle being one of the members and self proclaiming himself as the leader of Heaven's Gate after Applewhite's death. The FBI was investigating the murder of 39 people in California, and had no idea they'd find children in cages in Maine as a result.

So you see, when the blond woman and her Kendra sister, make the claim they went to school with me and I was the class bully who beat them up, this is easily proven false, because the time period when I should have been in school, I was locked in a cage, being tortured by my sadistic uncle Bruce.

Also, they are in their late 60s to mid 70s... making them older than my parents, so how could I have been in school with them, even if I had gone to school? At best I would have been starting pre-school the year they would have been graduating high school.

These things they say about school, only further agrees with what police officer W. W. said May 15, 2015, when he made the claim, they had gotten me mixed up with someone else.

July 2016, a month after the shopping cart attack... yet another Old Orchard Beach police officer arrived, this one accompanied by 2 Biddeford officers, who had been former OOB officers... these 3 officers, had a vastly eye opening story to tell me.

They had been called to Old Orchard Beach, to my farm, to arrest me, a call made to them, by a man named Mark, whom one of these officers, claimed was his brother in law. This Biddeford officer, said he requested to transfer ot of Old Orchard Beach department years ago, because his sister (whom he claimed he suspected, but could not prove was the blond woman whom had attacked me at WalMart) was quote "trying to control the town" he said "treats Old Orchard Beach like a dynasty, thinks she's a duchess, has severe mental disorders, and thought she could buy the police department". He went on to say, she got in with the real Mafia years ago and went to her head, and now she thinks she IS the Mafia and most of Old Orchard Beach's business owners, especially the motel owners are scared shitless of her, because they believe her claim to be Mafia. He went on to say, she's not Mafia, but she's good at convincing people she is and stated "I wouldn't murder beyond her. She'd do it just to prove she is Mafia." He said he transferred out of OOB department to Biddeford department because he was fed up with how easy it was for her to get every officer to do anything she asked. He said "the corruption in that department runs deep; don't cross her or any officer she controls; they WILL kill you and every around you. You don't know who her husband is. He doesn't just control that town, he controls half the state."

What he was telling me was bizarre on extremes, but even more bizarre was the live feed radio call, that he had me listen too, as it was happening, on my farm in Old Orchard, while I was at my dad's house in Biddeford.

He said: "The Old Orchard Department called me, asked me to come over here. Buddy Will wanted to prove you were not in Old Orchard and that Mark has you mixed up with someone else. That fucking bastard is crying wolf and trying to frame you, we can prove it right now. We are fucking fed up WolfBoy."

He turned on his radio, so I could hear. A what I heard... a man whose voice I do not recognize, yelling at a Officer W.W. and saying: 

"That is Wendy, arrest her now! That is EelKat. She tried to kill me."

While officer W.W. and another officer, told the man: "his isn't Wendy. We have officers with her right now. Who tried to kill you? Wendy? Or THIS woman right here?"

"This woman right here! This is EelKat I tell you! Arrest her! What do you think I pay you for! You aren't allow to defy me! I own this town! You are my slaves. I command you to arrest her!"

W.W.: "This isn't EelKat. This isn't Wendy. I've known her for years. And right now, she's on the other side of the state. With 3 officers, listening to you right now. You are NOT the law. We've had it with you. You don't own me. And you've mixed her up with someone else. You've been harassing the wrong damned person. You dare call us about Wendy ever again, and I will personally arrest you for false reports, than I'll tell them everything. You'll never see the outside a prison for the rest of your life when I get done with you. You fucking leave this woman alone. You destroyed her life, because you couldn't tell her apart from someone else."

I used to aqua jog, mountain climb, horseback riding, and I hiked 13 miles a day. And in the blink of an eye, that lifestyle was taken away, and every day was struggle, just to sit up and breath, with no hope of ever walking again. I defied doctors. It's been 8 years and I can move around the house by holding on to things and I now can walk again, at the moment only short distances outside with a cane, and the hope is to continue to improve. I still have a long road of recovery ahead. But I'm walking again, something that 8 years ago, doctors said would never happen. 

My farm was razed.

My family was murdered.

I was 5 months paralysed, and had to relearn to walk. It was 8 years ago and I'm not yet fully recovered due to 3 inoperable vertebrae and hip dysplasia. November 14, 2013, 10PM, at WalMart, while putting bags of groceries in the back seat of my car, I was attacked by 3 rapists armed with metal golf clubs, who left me parallelized, in a wheel chair, broken spine, broken hip, broken pelvis, broken knees, serve nerve damage to my left side limiting the use of my left hand, my bladder incontinent from nerve damage, they left me for dead, and I had doctors telling me I would never walk again.

There's more that has happened. A lot more. The thousands of gallons of sewage they pumped into my motorhome in 2015. The cats. the Ptarmagin cats. World famous groups of cats. You remember them. If so, you remember what these people did to those cats. Poisoned. All dead the same day. 12 cats. Dead to what the vet described as: "enough poison to kill a great dane". My horse, she had her head beat in with a rock. My bantam roosters... 70 pet roosters, hung by their necks in rope nooses in my rose bushes.

All because this man, this mystery Mark, whose last name seems to be known to the police but is still unknown to me and man whom I've never seen or met - he keeps his face covered whenever he shows up... mistook me for someone else... and police officers and town hall workers and public work employees.

Welcome to Old Orchard Beach... this is NOT the way life should be, you know it.

What these people did to me, should never have happened, and according to the police, it's been happening for 50+ years to hundreds of people, hundreds of families, in this town, and every one is too scare to talk about it or fight back to stop it. That NEEDS to change.

The corruption in our town, needs to stop... but it won't end, until every last person who is being harassed by these people stand up, put their foot down, and say enough is enough, we ain't gonna take this any more.

We the people of Old Orchard Beach need to take back our town.

NOTE: Chat is set to emote only on my Twitch channel and my personal contact information has been removed from my website and every place else, due to the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of false reports of "information", along with vile hateful memes about the murder of my family being sent to me by trolls who think mocking the murder of my family is funny.

FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the of the April 10, 2015 kidnapping of my 12 children by 14 Ku Klux Klan men who invaded our home and the subsequent May 15, 2015 murder of 10 of the 12 whom had their heads nailed to my front door. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 

If you could recommend I watch one VOD that best represented your channel, which would it be?

This one....

The Princess Bride predicting Covid-19?

Avallac'h's a Good Tutor?
Of What? How to Better Bed Kings?


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Content writing:
How long do you spend creating a quality blog post?

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On average, how long do you spend creating a quality blog post?

On average, how long do you spend creating a quality blog post? from content_marketing

Let's see how fast I can write an article in response to this thread... illustrated, edited, formatted, pimped out with html... and published in under 1 hour of reading your OP... show you how content writing is done by someone who actually does this as a full time job.


Here it is...

This thread, and it's comments, written by responders who clearly know nothing about content writing outside of the misinformation spewed around black hat sites like the Warrior's Forum... inspired an article, on why people today are getting no results from their writing careers.

You can read the article here.

On a website founded in 1997, that currently has 9,772 articles, no article on it under 4,000 words, and no article on it taking more then an hour to write. With 1 to 10 new articles added to it every single day.

I mean... why tell you what can be done, when I can show you the evidence itself, right?

You got a long way to go, in improving both your writing speed and your concept of what an article even is, if you think anything under 2,000 words is anything other then filler and anything under 100 words a minute is even close to acceptable in the professional writing & publishing industry.

>My average is about 3 hours total consisting of research, writing and editing before a blog is complete. Is this really too long for about 500 -700 words of unique, valuable content?

I would not consider that a lot of words for such a very long time.

Those are very poor, extremely amature, incredibly unprofessional, beginner level speeds.

Even a 10 year old writing an essay for school is required to do at MINIMUM 1,000 words and is only given 45 minutes of class time to do the whole thing beginning to end from the time the teacher said: "Write this right now..." to "Put your pencils down."

I mean, we're talking very basic stuff that you learned how to do in 3rd garde.

By high school you were writing 5 page essays in that same 45 minute space of time. Five pages... minimum. Extra credit if you could make it to 10.

In college, you turn in a 500 word essay that took your 3 hours to write, you'd get a big fat F.

Do you care so little about yourself, your job, your boss, and your readers, that you don't have the balls to do the work. Are you really telling us, you can't even be bothered to do the simplest, most basic of basics work. You'd rather bitch and moan and complain, and getting paid for doing nothing but sitting on your ass for 3 hours doing not one damned thing?

And I'm talking from experience.

Content writing is my full time job. This is what I do for a living.

It's no wonder so many business aren't willing to pay more then $5 an article these day. They see enough lazy bums like you, laying around doing nothing, spitting out 500 word filler. People like you give the entire content writing industry a bad name.

I write 2 to 3 articles a day - each one averages 4,000 words. I type at 91 words a minute (about 5k an hour). The most I ever wrote in one day was 37,000 words, though most days my output is around 17,000 words. (Side note - I do have professional secretarial training, and can type 175 words per minute if I push it.)

I also find it interesting that you are complaining about writing articles of 500 to 750 words each.  It's hard to not fall over laughing at the idea that 500 word filler could be considered anything even remotely close to being an article. What scam artist fake MLM guru gave you that outdated 1990s number?

Heck... when was the last time you actually sat down and read an article? Do you even know what an article is? This industry does has guidelines you know? Try reaching beyond the scam artists that are flooding the internet with ad-hoc filler, and look for the actual real articles.

>>I'm salaried, but my pay equates to $18/hr. Research is pretty extensive. I usually read 3 to 4 peer-reviewed articles per post in order to present new info in a digestible way.

You call that research?


You damn scam artist!

All you are doing is looking up the top search results in Google and respinning the content.

That's not research, that's damned plagerism.

You know there's a $50,000 fine and 25 years in prison for that right?

You steal content off other web sites, combine 3 articles together, respin them, and pass them off as your own work? And boldly admit it. Which means you are either smug or stupid. The oddacity! You steal content from other websites and call that research. Does your boss know that?

>to present new info in a digestible way

That's nothing more then a fancy way of saying you stole their work. Does your boss realize the amount of trouble HE will be in, for not running checks on your articles to find out where you stole them from?

Research, real research, means getting off your damned ass and getting your hands dirty. You want to write about concrete ... you go out there and lay the damned concrete yourself to learn about it one on one, hands on. You don't laze around on the computer reading someone else's findings then rehash them into new words.

What kind of a scam artist are you, stopping that low.


You are a fricking plagiarist!

>Research is pretty extensive. I usually read 3 to 4 peer-reviewed articles

Whatever school you went to, every body needs to keep their children out of it.

Extensive research is getting your Ph.D by spending 6 months living with a headhunter tribe in the Amazon rainforest and keep daily notes of their culture, then writing a 200 page dissertation on the findings.

Extensive research involves testing results, interviewing experts, finding original sorce microfilm documents in the back rooms of museums, spending 8 hours a day for weeks on end in a library going over reference materials, going out on the field and doing the thing you are writing about yourself.

On what planet is spending 3 hour surfing the internet to read 2 or 3 articles, considered research on any level at all, let alone extensive?

I have to ask... what kind of a person accepts a job, writing about concrete, for a concrete industry, when they know nothing about concrete to begin with? If you are resorting to hunting down other people's articles to rewrite them into new words... that speaks volumes about how little you know about both the writing career AND the topic you are writing about.

Shame on you!

And on top of that you are complaining about writing articles of 500 to 750 words each?

I'm trying to wrap my mind around your seriously warped sense of logic. Where do you come up with these ideas you have about what constitutes, a good writing speed, extensive research, or the length of an article? What planet are you from?

Since 2012, Google:

  1. penalizes articles under 2,000 words
  2. boosts articles over 3,000 words
  3. down rank pages under 1,000 words
  4. blacklist/unindex pages under 400 words

They posted their most recent article about it in the Google Help Blog about 7 or 8 months ago and have written about 70 other articles about it since 2012. You might want to read them.

Do you really think you can share valuable, useful information in 500 to 750 words?

You know there's a reason Google down ranks pages under 1,000 words and boosts pages over 3,000 words right?

It's called: providing readers with sustenance vs scamming them into clicking your ads.

And then people like you wonder why their web sites are not making any money?

Put yourself in the readers' shoes. Would YOU even give a second glance at a one paragraph nothing hidden between so many ads you can't even find the so-called article?


You wouldn't read 500 word crap like that and you know it. So why do you expect your readers to do the same.

On second clearly are not someone who reads, considering you don't know that 500 words does an article make.

What do you read, other then reading first place search results with the intention of stealing them?

>to present new info in a digestible way

...when was the last time you even read something?

Come on!

Are you seriously telling me, you are into the career of writing, without knowing one damned thing about the industry?

What do you even know about this career?

  1. You don't know that 500 words in 3 hours is shitty crapfeast writing speeds.
  2. You don't know that 500 words is nothing but filler, not even close to article length.
  3. You don't know the meaning of the word research.
  4. You think nothing of respinning other people's hard work.
  5. You don't even know the definition of simple basic words like "extensive".
  6. You think your boss should pay you $18 an hour for sitting on your ass doing nothing.

Clearly you are not taking your job seriously. It's no wonder your boss is complaining.

If you cared about your readers, you'd provide them with actual content. Maybe you should try that next time.

So 500 to 700 words is NEVER going to rank very high in the first place and it's dangerously close to the blacklist level of 400 words. 

You might want to rethink your word counts if you want to rank very high in search engines.

Also, blogs are being pushed down by Google since it's release of RankBrain in 2015.

Blogs rarely show up in search results at all these days, and require the searcher to specifically type "blog post" after their search term in order to get a blog post to show up. Google focuses on niche content topic web sites these days.

>My average is about 3 hours total consisting of research, writing and editing before a blog is complete. Is this really too long for about 500 -700 words of unique, valuable content?

500 words in 3 hours is VERY poor, especially if you are working for a big business. You can't even get hired as a secretary unless you can type 125 words a minute. That's just standard basic typing speed for a professional writer.

I can't get a job as a secretary because I type very slow, at 91 words a minute, which is 1,365 words every 15 minute, 5,460 words an hour, 16,380 words every 3 hours... and that's considered TOO SLOW to qualify as a secretary.

Side note--- I had a stroke and type with one hand. Which is why my typing speed is so slow.

Yes.... these typing speeds are considered VERY SLOW:

  • 91 words a minute,
  • which is 1,365 words every 15 minute,
  • 5,460 words an hour,
  • 16,380 words every 3 hours

I'm sorry, I don't know where you were trained, what college you went to that said 500 words in 3 hours is acceptable, but no. In the professional world it's not.

Most secretaries average 175 words per minute.

Stenographers are required to type even faster.

Speed typers have no trouble doing 200 words a minute.

  • 200 words a minute is
  • 3,000 words per 15 minutes
  • or 12,000 words per hour
  • or 36,000 words per 3 hours.

And not random crap. Stenographers are required to type that fast with ZERO mistakes and 100% accuracy. And they can do it because they take their job seriously.

Let's look at it another way.

The average 5th grader types at 35 words a minute, because they are an inexperienced beginner just learning to type.

  1. 35 words a minute is
  2. 525 words every 15 minutes
  3. 2,100 words every hour
  4. 6,300 words every 3 hours



Does that put it into better perspective for you?

A 5th grader, just learning to type, puts out more words in 15 minutes then you do in 3 hours. Still think your boss shouldn't be getting on you for being lazy and not doing your job?

Your boss is upset because he's paying you $18 an hour and he ciould get better work from a 10 year old.

Put yourself in your boss's shoes... would YOU pay someone $18 an hour, when you could get a 10 year old to do the same thing in less time for a $2 bill?

You wouldn't and you know you wouldn't. So why are you expecting your boss to except that fucking load of half-assed crap from you?

Of course your boss is complaining. He feels like you are cheating him, and rightly so, because you ARE cheating him.

>I've been asked to spend only one hour on each blog going forward and I feel like I am having a crisis.

If you are in crisis over 500 words an hour, then you really need to rethink your career.

Think about those little children in grade school and their measly little speed of just 525 words per 15 minutes, then ask yourself again, WHY you are in crisis over your boss giving you a full hour?

You stretching out a 500 word article into 3 hour's time, means he's paying you $54 for every 500 words, when he THOUGHT he would be paying you $18 for every 500 words.

Can you see why he's upset?

If you were him, would YOU want to pay $54 for a 500 word article?

It's YOU who are being unfair and unreasonable and your boss who should be feeling in crisis right now. You are wasting both his time and his money, and what's worse, is you aren't even giving him original content. You are just rehashing something someone else wrote on another site.

You know, considering that you are a plagiarist, you're lucky he's only complaining about your writing speed and not calling the cops to toss your ass in jail.

You do realize that if those other people find out you are stealing their work, that your boss is the one they are gonna go after and he could lose his business and ALL his employees, not just you, will end up both without jobs and in jail?

The law assumes that those in charge are just as responsible as the person doing the plagiarism. And I really don't think your boss is gonna be too happy about losing his business, because of scraped content that he paid 3 times as much as he expected to pay for.

You think he's pissed now at paying you $54 per 500 words instead of $18 per 500 words? Wait til your stolen respun content costs him his business.

>I got told today I need to bring down my time for writing blogs at my agency. In September and October I spent 10 hours writing 3 posts each month for the concrete industry. I believe these posts are great and blog traffic has really picked up. But maybe I am spending too much time on blogs?

500 to 700 words for 3 to 5 hours may be the norm for content writers getting work off Fiverr, but those kind of numbers won't cut it in the real world of publishing, where if you are good at what you do, you get paid $2 to $5 per word, $1,000+ per article.

But, what you get paid is dependant on the business in question. You won't make anything less then $2k per article when writing for PlayBoy, but, you'll get $5 and a subscription when writing for a university press magazine. This is based on how much income each magazine brings in.

Well, look at your boss. While the concrete industry is big business, it's blue collar work with low income pays. Your boss is likely struggling to make ends meet, stay out of the red, and find enough money to pay his workers. He's trying to figure out where he is over spending, what is causing him to loss money, and then he notices he hired a guy to write articles, told him to put out 1 article an hour for $18 an hour, and now he's looking at accounting and realizes instead of paying $18 per article as agreed, he's actually paying $54 per article, 3 times more then the agreed amount.

You got a pretty reasonable boss if he's giving you the benefit of a doubt and just telling you to pick up speed instead out right accusing you of sponging off him and abusing the system.

And think about it... he hired you thinking he was getting a professional career writer, one who could meet deadlines and write on schedule, and now he find out you are one of those lazy poetic, starving artist types, who writes as much as he wants, when he damned well fells like getting around to it.

Sure if he's hired you to write poetry or short stories or novels, you'd be given more time and  less strictness.... but that's not what he hired you for! He hired you to write a 750 word article for $18, and then you give him rehashed 500 word scrapped content and demanding $54 for your shoddy stolen work?

And you are wondering why he is upset?

Time is not the issue here.

Money is.

He's paying you $18 an hour, and expecting to pay $18 an article.

You laze around for 3 hours and expect to be given $54 instead of $18 for the same end result.

The point is, he wants to pay you $18 per article.

He does not want to pay you $54 per article.

He feels you are a cheap skate who's cheating him.

THAT is why he is upset.

500 words in 3 hours may be good enough for amateurs, but you'll get laughed out of any professional job if you put those numbers on your resume.

I'm sorry if that seems harsh, but, if you want to make writing content your full time career you are really going to have to realize that this industry has expected standards, and yeah, your boss is right to say you are slow. Let's face it, a 3rd grader types faster then you do. If your boss is complaining (as he should be) you're probably not far off getting fired. Actually, you're lucky he asked you to speed up rather then fired you outright, which means he probably likes you. It really is a dime a dozen job and you are easily replaced by someone who can time much, much faster.

I've been doing this since 1978. I know the industry inside out.

Worked for a newspaper (Portland Press Herald/Boston Globe) for 21 years, was an editor for a magazine for several more years, was a sales rep for 16 years,

and since 1978 I have published

  1. 130+ novels (300,000 words each),
  2. 30+ nonfiction books,
  3. 2,000+ short stories (10,000 to 75,000 words each),
  4. 6,000+ nonfiction articles (4,000 to 7,500 words each),
  5. 9,000+ blog posts (3,000 to 5,000 words each),
  6. a few dozen stage plays, and
  7. a few comic book scripts for Disney's Uncle Scrooge & Donald Duck.

I publish on average 3 million words a year, which is barely a quarter of the amount of words I write. I didn't do that by typing 500 words every 3 hours. And I'm considered by others "too slow".

91 words a minute is my average when typing a first draft (about 5k per hour), 35 words a minute during the editing and revising stage (about 2k per hour); once in a while I've reached 175 words a minute when in a writing zone (about 10k per hour), but that's rare and highly unusual.


November 2006, my 3rd year doing NaNoWriMo, I did the absolutely unthinkable, and wrote 50,000 words in 3 days, winning NaNoWWriMo on day 3 instead of day 30.

What was the secret?

Time Management

  • Writing to a schedule instead of focusing on word count
  • Writing multiple times per day in small spurts
  • Breaks - lots of them
  • Hand excersises
  • Walking/Getting up moving around
  • A change in diet

Those things combined, were the secret to my suddenly being about to write HUGE word counts per day, after struggling for years trying to reach even a few hundred words a day.

Here's what I did that worked for me:

I found that I do my most writing first thing in the morning, as in, as soon as I wake up, before getting out of bed. I just sit up and start typing. Well, that usually requires getting up and going to a desk, setting up, ect. And by that time I've lost my motivation. So, now the computer is right on the nightstand, and soon as I wake up, I start typing... don't even have to sit up, just put the keyboard on my lap, prop my knees up. Type straight up stream of consciousness. It may or may not make scene as I'm still half a sleep, but, it gets any ideas out of my head and on paper before I forget them.

This also acts as early morning exercise that gets the blood flowing through my fingers and acts as a warm up before I start doing my actual writing.

5AM: After getting up, eating, etc. Walk my dog. This gets the blood flowing everywhere.

7AM: Start typing. Doesn't matter what. If I can't think of anything for my current story, then work on a different story, or write a blog post, or write a non-fiction article, or go to Seventh Sanctum or Chaotic Shiny and use one of their writing prompts, anyone a random, and no matter what it gives me, just start writing about it. The point is to sit down and start typing and don't stop typing for 45 minutes straight of uninterrupted typing.

After 45 minutes, get up get a drink of water - drink an entire 16oz all at once. Eat something (apple, chips, broccoli, bagels, popcorn, cheese, M&Ms, pretzels, carrots, toast, whatever....didn't seem to matter what exactly it was as long as I've got something in my system.) Use bathroom. Walk around outside with my dog for 15 to 20 minutes. Get blood circulating through body again.

9AM: repeat as for 7AM, type 45 minutes, followed by 15 to 20 minute break as outlines above.

11AM: repeat as for 7AM

After 45 minutes. Take a long break. Drive to store, do any chores, cook dinner, etc.

4PM: repeat as for 7AM

7PM: repeat as for 7AM

9PM: Edit, revise, research, etc.

11PM: second long break, supper, movie time, etc. Go to bed.

The point is, to write in sessions, with each session divided up between drinking lots of water, eating, and getting up to move around.

I changed times around a lot before find one that worked for me.

For me, typing in 45 minute sessions with a 15 to 20 minute break every 45 minutes, and then 2 long 1 to 2 hour breaks during the day, worked best for me.

By doing this, I found that my hands don't tire out so easily, I don't get so sleepy, and I learned from some research studies done by various universities, that the reason I no longer get writer's block after starting this schedule, is because I'm now drinking 1 and 1/2 gallons of water a day, and that by being so very hydrated, my brain is better able to fire synapses, resulting in more fluid thought processes. (Apparently if you get dehydrated it causes your brain to respond sluggishly and causes writer's block, according to several various studies.)

In any case...

You are NOT in crisis. A psychopath blowing up my house with a bomb... that's a crisis.

You want to know what a crisis is?

Here, here's a list of the things the Ku Klux Klan has done to my family...

  • February 2003 bombed my doctor's office and killed him
  • May 2006 they put my dad in a coma
  • bombed my house in October 2006
  • May 2010 cut my car in half
  • beheaded my cousin July 2013
  • drove a backhoe over my next house August 2013
  • beat my up leaving me paralyzed 5 month and crippled rest of my life in November 2013
  • filled my motorhome with 1,000s of gallons of feces April 2015
  • kidnapped my cats April 2015
  • returned my cats' heads May 2015; 10 cats currently unaccounted for
  • August 2015 a woman was beheaded in front of her 4 children, in Saco Shaw's supermarket, in the ice cream department, while trying to buy her children ice cream
  • 2016 my tires were slashed on 7 different occasions between October and December
  • April 2017 put my dad in the hospital again, he almost died
  • May 2017 attacked and rallied at my mom's house - twice
  • August 13, 2017 - my birthday - murdered 73 pets
  • September 26, 2017 - 6 days ago smashed up my car...
  • in all more than 200 such attacks on my family since Stephen King thought to film the Thinner movie on our farm in 1994.

You, honey, are in serious need of a reality check, if you think, being told to write a 500 word article in 1 hour is a crisis.

You think writing a 500 word article in 1 hour is a crisis? What silk lined silver spoon you been living on all these years? Get out of Daddy warbucks pockets and get a taste of the real world for a change.

Terrorist attacks... that's a crisis.

Writing fewer words in an hour than is expected of a 10 year old in a 15 minute class assignment... is you over reacting.

Do you go crying to mommy when you break a nail too?

Being told by your boss the shape up or ship out, is not a crisis... it's a kick in the ass to tell you to stop goofing off and start taking your damned fucking job seriously.

And now let's do a word count and see how many words this article you just finished reading is:

4,758 words long.

  1. Written.
  2. Edited.
  3. Formatted.
  4. Illustrated.
  5. Videos embedded.
  6. Back links added.
  7. Pimped out with html.
  8. Published.
  9. Marketed (Sent out to my 3 million followers across dozens of social networks.)
  10. In under an hour.

If I can do THIS in under an hour.... you should have no trouble writing 500 words in an hour.

I can write this much this fast, with only one hand, because I have motivation, dedication, determination, and discipline.

I have one hand dead to a stroke, my good hand shakes from parkinson's and I still did this.


Did you ever read my personal motto that I live by? It's all over my website, look for it. Can't find it?


If life gives you lemons, then you grab life by the balls and say you're taking them too.

Why make lemonade when you can make testicle stew? 

I don't take shit from no one, I stand up to bullies like you.


I live by those words.

I apply them to EVERYTHING, including my writing career.

You give me an assignment, I don't whimper and boo-hoo that it's too hard, too much work, or not enough time... I grab that assignment by the balls and I run it to the ground, and come back with a finished product, on schedule.

Nothing....NOTHING gets in my way.

If you're gonna lay down and cry like a baby, because your boss told you that 3 hours was unacceptable time for 500 words written, then you ain't got what it takes to survive as a writer, and you won't last long in the real world either.

You took on the challenge of doing this job for your boss, now get off your ass and do the job you were paid to do.

I can do this in under an hour, because I take my job seriously and when I have work to do, I sit down and do it and I get it done.

Do you?

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