You have encountered an extremely old website that continues to exist in old web ways, the same way it has done for now three decades.
In spite of being now 30 years old this year, started in 1996, it is still heavily active and old pages updated daily, new pages added daily, still now in 2026. All hand written, all hand coded (no AI), all by me, same as it ever was.
We Still Exist: The Old Web Did Not Go Away, You Just Forgot How To Find Us
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This site was NOT designed for mobile devices (as they had not been invented yet when I created it) thus this site looks best on a computer, at 1280x768 or above. |
This is a very old website created in 1996, so, yes, javascript is needed for the site to work as it should. If things don't function, you may need to update javascript drivers on your device |
This site tries to be mobile friendly but it's been online since 1996, so old pages may not load right on mobile devices, and as this site has had pages added near daily for 30 years there are now over 20k pages here. |
Having started out in life as a GeoCities site, this site contains glitter, bright colours, blinkies, moving gifs, and other things the old web was known for. |
f you are here looking for aliens, ufos, demons, cryptids, haunted cars, curses, Etiole, the wild man of old orchard beach, the goldeneagle car, the white monkey, or any of that other weird bullshit, you want this video:
...and after that video, you want these ones:
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If you want some stories to get you started in The Pink Necromancer series, reading these first will give you a good introduction to the 3 main characters:
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My Elves Are JellyFish...and I asked Google AI and ChatGPT 5.6 what they thought of this.
As requested, my daily writing prompt series is now available print paperback editions on Amazon.
There are 20 volumes of this writing prompt series currently planned and in varying stages of finishing, hopefully all 20 will be published by the end of 2026. I likely will do a 2nd series of writing prompt books in 2027.
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The first of the Visual Novels/Video Games for The Adventures of Quaraun the Inane/The Pink Necromancer series is published and available on Itch.io, there are 3 more planned for release in 2026, 6 more planned for release in 2027, and the big 60-hour 80k word 150 page one (Quaraun Goes To the Fair) is planned for a 2028 release.
There is a Pink Necromancer card game and a Pink Necromancer board game, as well as a Pink Necromancer table top RPG supliment for Dungeons and Dragons, all in the works, and to be released over the next couple of years as well.
I shouldn't have to say this, but people keep contacting me, so apparently I do:
If you have any information about my son’s murderer, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
Do you know who this woman is?
On August 8, 2013 she drove a backhoe over my house. On November 14, 2013 she arrived at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me with a golf club and murdered my son. One June 24, 2016, days after my first attempts to walk again, she attacked me with a shopping cart at Scarborough, Walmart, reinjuring the Nov 14, 2013 injury.
She crippled me when I was 8 months pregnant, a woman with a golf club, severed my spine and bashed my baby's head in, I spent 9 years relearning to walk, and the FBI is 13 years into the murder investigation and not yet id-ed the attacker who crippled me and killed my baby, both violently with a golf club.
Complete details of EVERYTHING she did is on this page here.
The golf club woman who called herself Clair as she looked November 14, 2013. Her hair is a weird chin leangth pageboy (very Medival style cut) platinum blonde with wide brown/black dyed stripes in it (like a reverse of Lily Munster, but the stripes are several, almost like a zebra). I am 5'6" and she was a LOT taller then me, like closer to the height of a man; she had thin lips like a man, and large nose like a man... she COULD have been a man disguised as a woman, given the ease with which she severed my spine....she's is a LOT stronger then is typical for a woman). She was wearing a chambre blue denim "blazer jacket over shirt" and a button up mens shirt (possibly flannel) and blue jeans. The bulk of her yelling was focused on accusing me of being transgender, even while ripping my baby out of my 8 month pregnant belly and bashing his head in with a golf club. |
The Claire woman as she looked during her shoping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart June 2016, the attack with left me paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Her hair was dyed dark red, and she drove away in a gold Volvo 240 Station Wagon of a late 1980s/early1990s model, with a "458" on the lisnce plate.... If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
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If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
Good god! We just found out about yet another slanderous rumour this woman has been spreading? When does it end? How many more of these things are out there?
Video explains what else she's done ...
If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
If you encounter anyone claiming my car is haunted, demon possessed, or somehow connected to Stephen King please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
If you encounter anyone claiming I believe in aliens or was an alien abducttee, please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
Space Dock 13
also known as
EK's Star Log
have changed hosts and url names multiple times before finally settling on EelKat.com in 2013
The reason for settling on that url was obvious - it's my name.
In the early days I was using a place name from one of my books. (Space Dock 13 is a space station in one of my novels). By 2003 fans were call me "EK" and referring to my blog as a "Star Log" (a term from Star Trek) so in 2003 it was renamed EK's Star Log and some people still call it that.
If you are asking about names to try to figure out your own name...
It's actually best practice to create a brand name of under 8 letters. When I say brand name, think:
eBay.com (4 letters)
Amazon.com (6 letters)
Tumblr.com (6 letters)
BuzzFeed.com (8 letters)
Reddit.com (6 letters)
ProBlogger.com (10 letters)
FaceBook.com (8 letters)
Twitter.com (7 letters)
Zazzle.com (6 letters)
Yelp.com (4 letters)
Google.com (6 letters)
Bing.com (4 letters)
Yahoo.com (5 letters)
In every case a made up "gibberish-type" (on first appearances) name with no connection to the site topic at all (until you read the About page that tells how they came up with the name and go: "wow, that's actually makes sense!"). But easy to remember, easy for visitors to manually type, and unique enough that it's hard to mimic.
My own SBI site? In 2013 I was changing hosts and changing urls. The niche seed word topic I originally started out with is: "How to be a better a writer", which then evolved to "How to write dark fantasy novels".
So, you'd think my url would be either:
how-to-be-a-better-writer.com
how-to-write-dark-fantasy-novels.com (31 letters)
So what is my current url?
EelKat.com (6 letters)
Why?
Because 6 letters is easy to remember and promote.
For the first 3 years of my site I had bot-blockers in place and refused to all Google, Bing, etc to index my pages. Instead relying 100% on organic traffic instead of search traffic. (organic traffic means, the visitor typed the url directly, as opposed to typed a search term and found the url). How did I get traffc those first 3 years?
My website is painted on my car as can clearly be seen in these pictures of my car:
and as you can see I repaint it every year so you never know what it'll look like from one picture to the next.
It's also painted on my motorhome, as seen here:
As you can see the letters on the side of the motorhome are over a foot tall and can be seen from quite some distance away.
Now, think of how hard it would be for to paint how-to-write-dark-fantasy-novels.com in foot tall letters across my mototorhome, verses EelKat.com instead?
We being carnival Gypsies, the RV gets parked at festivals, carnivals, fairs, side shows, etc all over New England, and why have a plan white RV when you can have a 22 foot long neon pink billboard that screams EelKat.com across the side?
Bigger then on the side of my motorhome is the "billboards" in my yard. (currently 3, they change constantly) and are made out of queen sized bed sheets:
Because I live on a beach
in a town that gets 2 million tourists every June/July/Agust, and as many as 10,000 people walk by my driveway/car/motorhome on their way to reach the beach, that means, a lot of people see the url eeklat.com and wonder "what the heck is that?" and search it on their phones while sitting on the beach.
Now, think of how hard it would be for eople to remember how-to-write-dark-fantasy-novels.com verses EelKat.com instead when it comes to typing it in on their phone once they get set up on the beach?
Because I am a retail merchandiser and travel 100+ miles a day to multiple WalMarts, walGreens, & CVSs all over the state, my car is seen by a lot of shoppers as well.
Because I'm an author who CosPlays my novels' characters at gaming/comic book conventions
and, just around town when going shopping at walMart, eating at McDonalds, etc and stuff because I'm OtherKin
(Yes, that is how I dress every day, 24/7 - since 1987)
this results in me handing out 100+ business cards a day, as people are constantly running up to me asking to get a picture with me and my car, and wanting to know where they can find out more about me, my car, and my over the top outlandish costume, and I just hand them a business card.
Now, try to imagin what how-to-write-dark-fantasy-novels.com looks like printed on a business card - long and clunky, vs EelKat.com instead, short and sweet. I mean think about it... on a business card, you ain't got much room to work with... most companies have a limit to how many characters per line and the limit is usually 18 characters or less.
Yie! :( :o :shock:
That means if I had gone with how-to-write-dark-fantasy-novels.com (31 letters) instead of EelKat.com (6 letters)
I wouldn't be able to print up business cards, due to the fact that a 31 letter url is longer then the 18 character maximum space limit per line.
To get business cards with a long url, I would have had to break it up putting half the url on each line!
Like this:
how-to-write-dark
-fantasy-novels.co
m
THAT^ it was that looks like! To fit that url on a business card, it would need to be broken up into 3 lines! Look at that poor lonely "m" all by itself.
So, when choosing a url you need to consider too, any promotional issues that may come up, like is your url too long to print on a business card?
What about buttons, pens, mugs, postcards, t-shirts, etc? (Yes I use those as well. When I said I do heavy duty offline promoting, because offline promotion brings in way more traffic then is possible with online promotion... I mean I REALLY do a LOT of super heavy duty offline promoting... my url is printed on more than 200 different types of products, thanks to Zazzle.com's ability to make your own promo materials on everything from sneakers to yoga pants to dogfood bowls to shower curtains... yes, my url is on shower curtains and yoga pants! I think most people don't realize the level of offline marketing I do, and think it's just limited to handing out business cards.)
Then there are design features. Yep. That's a thing.
Have someone write out your url in fancy hand painted calligraphy. What does it look like?
I know, it's not a thing the average site owner thinks about, but it's a thing I thought about, because I'm the type of person who likes to think of every possible angle. :P
Well, it turns out, in calligraphy, my url looks like a dragonfly, so, I went and had a calligraphic dragonfly shaped logo made up and started using it on t-shirts and yoga pants as an all over print. You know, the way Coco Chanel made the double "c" logo everyone knows as soon as they see it?
Short urls can easily be made into logos. The longer the url, the more difficult it becomes to turn the url itself into a logo.
This offline promotion resulted in my site consistently have around 14,000 page views a month, right out the starting gate, all of them 100% organic, manually direct typed url, without any traffic coming from search engines at all.
Then there is online promotion. I have 300+ social network and forum accounts. I'm member of tons of online writer groups and chats and message boards. When ever I add a new page on my site, it gets promoted to various ones of them, depending on the topic of the page and the rules of the group in question. My site adds 1 to 3 new pages every day.
Now, just think of how tedious it would get to type how-to-write-dark-fantasy-novels.com/long-tail-keyword-page-topic 30 or 40 or 50 times a day vs eelkat.com/long-tail-keyword-topic-of-page?
Keeping in mind that I'm not just randomly spam posting links to my site on these paces either, but rather I'm writing long posts (like the one you are reading right now) answering someone's question. I write at minimum 10 of these long forum posts a day, and only 1, maybe 2 of them will contain a link back to my site.
I have never bought ads or traffic for my site, and have always done my own offline and online promotions (mostly offline). And having a short 6 letter url has made it a lot easier for me to get my marketing done, because I'm not having to constantly try to remember "Now did I put a hyphen there are an underscore; did I use a or the between them?" etc. With a simple, easy to remember, 6 letter word for my domain name, I'm able to get my marketing and promoting done easy.
I ending up gaining 16,000 backlinks (mostly from page viewers sharing pages on Twitter, FaceBook, Tumblr, and Reddit) from casual viewers linking back to me. The power of organic link building can be seen in search engines later. By keeping the site blocked from bots and search indexes for the first 3 years, and by having nothing but manually typed traffic and social network backlinks, when I removed the bot blockers, Bing indexed 500+ pages of my site in less ten 48 hours of it having access to do so, and Google had 700+ pages indexed in under a week.
Neither Bing nor Google will index a site under 6 months old, so your first 6 months you aren't being indexed anyways, and Google actually puts meta data around new urls (under 3 years old) to force them very low in search results (because 90% of all websites get shut down within 3 years by a webmaster who looked for instant online income and gave up; and thus Google classifies every site under 3 years old as not worth indexing because it has not yet proved it'll stick around). Which is the reason for blocking bots the first 3 years, because once the site is 3 years old, it no longer is at risk of being forced down in search results just for being too young any more, and it's easier to NOT get dinged by Google in the first place, then it is to convince Google to unding (I've been building websites since 1997 btw, so that's why I knew to block bots right out the gate when starting my SBI site in 2013.) But that's me going off topic again...
Back on topic...
The point is, people don't like to be made to think, when it comes to finding info. If they wanted to think, they'd do research, and would not be on the internet to begin with. If a person is searching the internet for answers instead of heading to the library to do real research in books, then that person is only looking to be told something, they want a canned food answer, not a home cooked meal, they want Ramen noodles in a cup not a thanksgiving dinner. They want the internet to spoon feed them answers so they don't have to do the work and find out for themselves.
People looking for hard core research are NOT on the internet looking for fast answers.
That brings us to the reason behind short urls.
The type of person who heads to the internet searching for help writing a novel, is also the type of person who'll never write a novel, because they can't even be bothered to type a long url. Authors are readers in addition to writers. They will read a long article and be upset by anyth page under 2,000 words.
Whereas the person who is just looking for the easy road to fast cash via novels, doesn't really want to learn how to write a novel and they will NOT take the time to read a 4,000 word article on how to write a novel, because they can't even be bothers to type a long url.
This means a lot of people on my site will leave soon as they realize they actually have to do the work of reading my how to write a novel articles (which are 20,000 words PER page long - the text count on my site is massive.) And it's okay by me for them to leave and go look for quick fix answers elsewhere because if they can't take the time to read, they certainly don't have the time to write a novel.
But... this is an example of the mind set of the average internet browser who is looking for the quick fix of someone else doing the work for them, not a lot of people read long articles, and they are the same people who don't type out long urls, and they make up the bulk of the internet traffic.
We who run websites, we want the readers who read our article, but we also need traffic.
If you are living off AdSense, you want those fast click away types as well as the readers, because it's the fast click away types who click those ads that Google puts on your site. So while we want readers to read our content, we also want the fast paced browser who clicks away as well. And to pay the bills, we actually want more of those, thus we need a short url to attract them to us.
So we as webmasters give them the processed baby mush they ask for: urls of 8 letters of less.
Let's go back to amazon for example.
What is their site topic?
international online book seller
so, had they named their url after their topic, their would be have had
international-online-book-seller.com (38 letters) instead of amazon.com, right?
Well, those people who make up the bulk of internet browsers... you know, the ones who want instant noodles instead of a 5 course meal? How many of them do you think would take the time to manually type out "international-online-book-seller.com" (38 letters) every time they wanted to buy a book?
The answer? None of them.
Do a search on Google and Bing for that search term. (international online book seller) and you will find that there are millions of booksellers online who ship internationally. MILLIONS. And yet, most of them are unheard of and rank low in search results.
Why?
Because most of them are using long tail urls as their primary domain name.
Because most of them have 4 or 5 words domain name urls of 20 to 50 letters and nobody is going to type that out. It takes less time to cook Ramen cup o soup noodles then it does takes to type out the domain names of some of those sites.
Think of it this way: if you can pour water over instant noodles faster then you can type your domain name, then your domain name is too long, no matter what your topic is.
And THAT is why sites like Amazon reign king, because it's easier for lazy browsers (who make up the majority of internet browsers) to type "Amazon.com" then it is for them to type "international-online-book-seller.com". Amazon's domain name is the instant noodles url of booksellers.
My site was started in August 17, 1997, so just crossed the 20th anniversary this year.
I checked in August of this year (2017) and at that point it now has 9,772 posts. However that number has gone up obviously.
It'll cross 10k posts before the end of the year.
Gradual growth over time. I've never really done anything to promote in before 2010 and by that point is had already had a post go viral (in 2007)
I'm an author of Epic Fantasy (main character is an Elf wizard with his unicorn; 130+ novels and 2,000+ short stories in the series which first started in 1978 - next year will be it's 40th anniversary), am an artist (watercolour, acrylics), art car builder, costume designer, CosPlayer, YouTuber (vlogger and gamer) and doll maker. My site started out in 1997 as an author home page for my books, it has moved host several times. Crashed WordPress servers when it reached 9,772 pages, and so I moved it to SBI in 2013. Currently 1,508 pages are moved to SBI... the Wordpress site is still live, but each page is being deleted as it get moved, so eventually the WP site will be gone once all 9,772 pages are moved to SBI.
The topics of my blog & site are:
The bulk of my income is of course sales of my books and art.
Income from my blog is as follows (in order from top/most to bottom/least income):
It was slow at the beginning. First starting out there were months with only 10 views the whole month. I didn't start getting more stable/consistent views until about 3 years after I started, and then it was maybe 100 to 500 views a month.
It's definitely something you have to stick with a long time, and be very dedicated to doing. You want to be blogging for the love of doing it, because the first 3 to 5 years, you are going to be doing it for almost no views and no income.
If you ever pay attention to the bloggers making a full time income at it, they are always very old blogs that started before 2005. Nearly every one of them are minimum 12 years old. And nearly every one of them are quick to tell you they did not reach their levels of traffic or income overnight. And nearly every one of says they stuck with it minimum 3 years before seeing any results in traffic and minimum 5 years before they could live off their blog.
Most of my marketing is offline marketing as explained above, and it's MASSIVE. My online marketing is almost non-existent. Online, I just share each new page on my Twitter, FaceBook, Google+, Tumblr, Pinterest, and Reddit Profile Page minutes after it is published and then more or less forget about it and let it sink, swim, or soar of it's own accord.
Because of my offline marketing... when my site changed servers/hosts/url in 2013, even without being in the Google index, I was getting 14,000+ visitors a month right out the gate.
Right now my site fluctuates between 10,000 views a month on slow months and 77,000 views a month on high traffic months, with most months staying around 22,000
How many times do I post PER WEEK? LOL! Try asking that question again, instead saying: How many times do you post per DAY.
I post at minimum once a day, 3 to 4 posts a daily is pretty normal, though as many as 10 posts a day, not that unusual.
Side note: NONE of my posts are under 2,000 words long, MOST are 4,000 words or more, and my most trafficed posts of all time have the following word counts:
If you are looking for some "secret to success" via keywords and SEO, there really is none.
I have succeeded where many failed, because I stuck with it and never gave up.
If you want to do what I do, the secret to success is this:
With those things, you can succeed in ANY topic, with no knowledge of keywords or SEO.
This page was written by Wendy Christine Allen of 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
All Rights Reserved.
Note: English is not my first language, Shetlean Scottish is my native language, there are likly spelling and grammar errors, as I do not know American English and am attempting to write it by sounding words out.
Many times that Americans think a word on my site is misspelled, often it is not misspelled, it is just I mixed up languages and wrote it in Scottish without realizing I mixed the Scottish in with the English. Also our grammar is somewhat reversed from English grammar so words that are seeming in the wrong order for American English, is usually because they are in the correct order for Scottish and I either put English words in Scottish order by mistake or was unaware English put them in a different order then Scottish does.
For those unaware, Scottish Shetlean looks like this:
American English to Scottish:
a bit (piece) = a party --- EXAMPLE: "And some know a bit of Latin " > "And somme kan of latyn a party "
a long distance from = A piece fae
a piece of = the bit --- EXAMPLE: "The duck ate a piece of bread " > "The deuk ett the bit breid "
about the banks (on the shore/at the beach) = aboot da banks
accomplishments = kunnandi
After = Back o --- EXAMPLE: " After Halloween" > "Back o Hallomas "
alive (living) = kvikr
Always on the move = Never aff o da go
am I not = amn't I --- EXAMPLE: "Am I not invited? " > "I amn't invited? or Amn't I invited?"
are = is --- EXAMPLE: "Are you going soon?" > "Is ya to be going soon?"
autumn = dah haihst
belong to = fylgja
best = bettah moost
betray (verb) = svíkja
bewildered = villhyggjandi
building = biggin up --- EXAMPLE: "building confidence in everyday use " > " biggin up confidence in ivvryday øs "
built = builded --- EXAMPLE: "He built a new porch." > "Hims builded a new porch."
cast a spell = hoodooed
cat = kat (sounds like "caught") --- EXAMPLE: "Is it an orange cat?" > "Be he a o'jinn kat?"
child = bairn
church = kirk
color = colour
danger = hœttr
daren't = darena
daring = djarfr
dark = dökk
dark elf = Dökkálfr
dark-elves = Døkkálfar
darker = dökká
do you agree = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "That's a fine looking woman, do you agree?" > "Dair's ah right bonnie lass, eh?"
do you want to come too = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "I'm going to the store, do you want to come with me?" > "Me go to shope, eh?"
each = eche --- EXAMPLE: "Which each person can understand " > "That kan eche man understonde "
educated = lered --- EXAMPLE: "Both among the educated and the uneducated " > "As wel among lered as lewed "
elf = Alfr
Elf = Álfr
Elf Home = Álfheimr
Elf World = Álfheimr
elf-advice = Ælfred
elf-beautiful = ælfscyne
elf-friend = Ælfwine
elf-guardian (female) = Ælfwaru
elf-guardian (male) = Ælfweard
elf-powerful = Ælfric
everyday = ivvryday
eyelids = eye ledes --- EXAMPLE: "He closed his eyelids." > "Hims did shut hims eye ledes"
fair = faire --- EXAMPLE: "Going to the fair." > "Done gone went to the faire."
feild = felde --- EXAMPLE: "Standing in the feild." > "Stoodt in thems felde."
further = ferther --- EXAMPLE: "I looked further." > "I dids lokid ferther."
green = grene --- EXAMPLE: "Look at the green hedges and woods." > "Look see at thems heigges and holtz so grene."
handsome = braw --- EXAMPLE: "He is very handsome " > "Him wicked braw "
have faith = trúa
Have no doubts about our doing it = Nae faer o wis
Have no liking for this. = Hae nae brou o this.
have not = ain't
He knows how many beans make five. = He kens the laid frae the croun o the causey.
He knows which side his bread is buttered on. = He kens whilk side his bannock's buttert on.
Head for = Mak wye for
head rope in fishing nets and lines = baak
head to head = Be at the knag and the widdie
horse fly = klegsie
I = Me
I Think = Me thinks --- EXAMPLE: "I think we're late. " > "Me thinks that we is late. "
I wish you well for the future = Lang may yer lum reek (translation: Long may your chimney smoke)
idiot = eejit --- EXAMPLE: "You idiot." > "Ya eejit."
idiot = numpty
if = iffy or yif--- EXAMPLE: "If you don't mind..." > "Iffy yas does no care mind...."; "If you'll stay with me long enough = "Yif ye so longe with me wil dwelle". "
I'll be even with you = A'll see day aboot wi ye
know = ken
looked = lokid
looked = lokid --- EXAMPLE: "I looked up." > "I lifte up me eye ledes and lokid ferther."
magic = hoodoo
naked = nøkkviðr
needle = bodkin
neither = nouther --- EXAMPLE: "Who know neither Latin nor French " > "That kan nouther latyn ne frensch "
No = Nay --- EXAMPLE: "No, I don't think so. " > "Nay, me thinks not. "
Nobody knew = not-knew nobody
Noontide = Da heicht o da day
NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "Did you meet the new family next door?" > "Dids ya gets a chance to stop by and meets with thems new folk that move-ed in down yawn there next doors to ya, eh?"
NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "He went to Rite-Aid to pick up his prescription" > "Hims did go to that yawn there new fangled store the new folks call that Rite Aid place, to gets himself some of thems there pills what the doctor gone and tells him to take each morning, a-yep, hims did."
old = olde --- EXAMPLE: "But educated and uneducated, old and young " > "Bot lered and lewed olde and yonge "
orange = o'jinn
out = oot --- EXAMPLE: "The cat wants to go out." > "The kat he do wants oot."
outside = oot dair
people = fokk --- EXAMPLE: "the people of Shetland " > "Shetland fokk "
people = folke --- EXAMPLE: "Look at all those people." > "Lookie at all thems folke."
poorly = febelly --- EXAMPLE: "Who know French very poorly " > "That kan frensch ful febelly "
Recognising = Recognisin --- EXAMPLE: "Recognising the bilingual nature of Shaetlan speakers " > "Recognisin da wye at Shaetlan spaekers is bilingual "
shield = skjoldr
Since = For --- EXAMPLE: "Since that is your native language " > "For that is youre kynde langage "
tell = telle --- EXAMPLE: "I'll tell you in English " > "In englysch tonge I schal you telle "
the = da, de, or is not used at all --- EXAMPLE: "I went to the store" > "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to shoppe"
them = dem, dem dair --- EXAMPLE: "I went with them" > "Me goes wit dem dair"
there = dair --- EXAMPLE: "I want those potatoes" > "Me be wanting dem dair tatetas."
they = dey
To where = whither --- EXAMPLE: ""Where you go, I will go." " > ""Whither thou goest, I'll go."
understand = understonde
understand = understonden --- EXAMPLE: "Some understand English " > "And somme understonden englysch "
very = wicked --- EXAMPLE: "very good" > "wicked good"; "very bad" > "wicked bad"; "very cold" > "wicked cold"
Where = Whither --- EXAMPLE: "Where is the restroom? " > "Whither is the privy?"
Yes = Yea or Aye --- EXAMPLE: "Yes, I think so. " > "Yea, me thinks so. " or "Aye, me thinks so. "
For anyone actually interested in learning my native language, the Scottish government has THIS listed as the official dictionary of our people: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/61d7352954b7fd1c9dbdfef4/t/65ddb2749d5e0541a01009c0/1709027964496/Spaektionary_2024feb.pdf
The Scottish government provides this document to show our language in use: https://www.shetland.uhi.ac.uk/t4-media/one-web/uhi-shetland-images-and-documents/documents-/shaetlan/Shaetlan-Language-Plan-2022-Shaetlan.pdf
More information about our language can be found on this website: https://www.iheardee.com which is written in my native language.
However, there is also other reasons why words might be misspelled, or why I might not understand someone when they speak to me.
My grandmother Helen Ricker Allen, was from Unst, Shetland, Scotland, and she the one who raised me. She taught me to read and write, but it was Shetlain that she taught me. She died when I was 8 years old, and I was locked in a woodshed after her furneral, I escaped the woodshed 27 years later at age 31, and have been trying to learn how to speak and write English since then.
It is a very great struggle.
At age 37 I took remidial reading and speaking classes at Southern Maine Community College, but we are Gypsies and Gypsy men do not allow us Gypsy women to have education, and so, while at college, on November 14, 2013, I was beaten with a golf club, while I was 8 months pregnet, breaking my spine, hips, and knees, killing my baby and leaving me quardepaleic since.
Now my primary focus these past 13 years has been on relearning to use my hand so I could type... as of 2023, I have regained the use of my right thumb, and first two right fingers, and after 10 years offline, I am back online due to I can use three finguers.
I never went to school, so I do not know maths and numbers and sciences, and I do not know what else would have been taught to me in school. We are Scottish Gypsies and Gypsy culture does not allow females to go to school. Being born female was already a great sin, but my grandmother took great risk in teaching me reading and writing. At 4 years old I was punished by my Uncle Bruce for knowing how to read, by being beaten in the face with a cinder block brick, that broke my right jaw and left me with garbaled near-mute spoken words ever since.
Because no one ever spoke words to be face to face from he time I was 8 years old until I was 37 years old (I escaped the room at age 27, but did not start college until 37), I have no training in how to vocally sound out or speak the words I write or read. I can read words, but I do not know how to sound out or say those words. I can write words, but I do not know how to match the written word against the spoken word. I struggle to associate spoken words at all, or make them match up with writen words.
Esentially, written words and spoken words are two completly seperate languages in my brain, and I have difficulty understanding spoken words.
If you say a sentance to me with your mouth, chances are very high I will have ZERO understanding of what you said and I will not be able to ander you.
However, if you WRITE down that exact same sentabnce, I can understand you and can type a written responce to you.
My doctors tell me this is a side effect of extreme isolation and neglect and lack of human contact during my toddler, childhood, teen, and young adult years, and that my brain never deveoloped to comprehend spoken vocal words due to no one ever speaking to me in over three decades of the first half of my life.
While I can read and write, American English (somewhat) I do no know how words are sounded out, what they are supposed to sound like. I readand write by shape recognition, not by sound/vocal recognition, so when reading and writing I do no "hear the words in my head" as I am told most people do when they read and write. In other words... I see "c a t" and think "c-a-t" I do not think "cat" nor do I "see" an image of a cat, no do I "hear" the word cat spoken. I'm told that this is very rare and that most people read and write by sounding out the words and linking them to visual mind images, while hearing the sound of the word in their head. I neiher hear words in my head no see images of things in my head. I'm told this is what makes me both a speed reader and speed writer, because I'm not tripped up by hear sounds or seeing images in my head like nomal people would be doing... however, I'm also told this is why my spelling and grammar are very poor, because my brain is not hear the sounds of the words or seeing visual images of the objects the words represent, so my mind also does not register spelling and grammer errors at all.
As I was only let out of the woodshed on Sundays to go to the Cape Elezabeth Ward Church of the August Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I was never allowed to go to school or hospital either. No adults ever talked to me because I was evil for comitted the sin of being born female, so I never learned how to speak properly and do not know how to sound out words to say them.
I was 42 years old, in 2016 when, while having an MRI for my spine, the doctors found out my speak issue was caused by a broken jaw as a toddler that was healed wrong because not being allowed to go to doctors. I had surgury to fix that, and since 2016 have been trying to learn how to use my jaw and touge so I can speak vocal words now.
Since 2023 my primary focus shifted to relearning to walk. I can now, in 2026, sit up for 2 or 3 hours a day, and can sand with a cane for a few minutes, and can walk for around five thousand feet in 2 to 3 segments a day, with the help of pushing my wheelchair like a walker.
As of 2026, with a slight return to using my fingers and legs, I am once again focused on trying to learn the American English, but I live in mortal fear of my uncles and male cousins, as they are so hateful of allowing me to have education.
have no one to help me to know if I am doing words correctly, and as such, I have no way of knowing if there are spelling and grammar errors, but I asume there are, and I fix them when I learn them, but I do not know what I do not know and spelling American words is a thing I do bnot know.
I have Low Fucntioning Kanner's Syndrom, also known as "RainMan Type of Autism" aka REAL and ACTUAL Autism, not to be confused with Aspergers, High Functioning Autism, or and of thr 861 illnesses on the Autism Spectrum. An Autism Spectrum Disorder is an illness that has symptoms similar to Autism but IS NOT Autism. If you have an Autism Spectrum Disorder, it LITERALLY MEANS you do NOT have Autism.
I am medically diagnosed as "kanner's syndrome, actual autism, the rainman type, profoundly retarded autistic savant, with a general IQ of 73, and an writing IQ of 221" but they added that they did not know how to properly diagnose me as I am "technically a feral child" and they don't know "how much is the autism, and how much is simple horrific levels of abuse and neglect induced post traumatic stress disorder that will go away with proper socilization".
It means I know how to write, I can write a lot, and it is next to impossible for you to teach me how to do literally anythig else because my brain only knows how to write and doesn;t know how to do anything else..
There's a reason, when I do book signings, people are quick to say: "Okay, what's the joke? why is this stupid retard here? where's the real author? I know this retard isn't the author. where are you hiding the author, why is this fucking retard here"
The end result is, I have near zero social interaction... my 3 years in college was the ONLY face to face interaction I have ever had with humans in my entire life, and I struggle deeply to understand MOST words used by MOST people when they ask me question. And so I suffer from a huge lack of understanding many words people say to me, how to translate those words into spelling, and how to translate what it is that has been said.
The fact remains hat until there exists a human on this planet who is willing to sit down and teach me what words spoken line up with and match what words written, this deficent is unlily to improve. But the fact also remains, that I am simply far too profoundly retarded for anyone to even try to make any attempt at all even to speak a friendly "hgelloe" or "good morning" when passing me on the street, so I have lost all hope of anyone ever either being my friend, being willing to teach me how to match spoken words to written words, or how to speak to other humans.
While there are around 20k pages on this website, most of them are blocked from search engines, with only around 800 of them available for appearing in Google/Bing/etc search results. The remainder can only be accessed via the various links found throughout this site. This was done deliberately on my part, and I did it because the bulk of the pages on this website are chapters from 138 novels and 423 novellas, so only the first page of each novel and novella indexed by search engines, and the remainder are linked in order, one page at a time, via clicking "next page" at the end of each. So if you are looking for a specific page from a specific novel, Google can't help you.
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Thank you for stopping by and have a nice day! ꧁✨🌸🔮🦄🔮🌸✨꧂ And if it’s your birthday today: ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐꧁ᴴᵃᵖᵖʸ☆ᵇⁱʳᵗʰᵈᵃʸ꧂🤍🎀🧸🌷🍭 |
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Get an email whenever Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻 publishes on Medium.
>I also write on these locations: | Amazon | Ao3 | Blogger | GumRoad | Medium | Notd | OnlyFans | Tumblr | Vocal |
Do you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine on August 8, 2013? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son on November 14, 2013 at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me July 26, 2016 at scarborough WalMart,... they arrived the first time with a backhoe on August 8, 2013, that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since....
... which means it is now only a few weeks from the 14th anniversary of my son's murder. I was 8 month pregnant November 14, 2013, and a student ay SMCC, and coming out of the Buglight Lighthouse art studio after art class, when a still unidentifiedwoman wielding a golf club attacked me, severed my spine, while I was 8 months pregnant, triggered early labour, then killed my son minutes after he was born.
While accusing me of being transgender, screaming "transvestite freak" and "look at that thing, that's Ken's son in a dress"... while I was 8 months pregnant.
My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son and crippled me, arrived the first time with a backhoe that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since. |
The backhoe driver returned November 14, 2013, armed with a golf club, used it to break my spine and smash my baby's brains out on the ground
On November 14, 2013, my son was murdered. I was 8 months pregnant, leaving my college classroom, and just getting into my car, when 3 strangers, a man and two women, armed with golf clubs leapt out from behind my car screaming "kill or be killed, kill the transvestite freaks, kill them all before they kill us! look at that thing! That is Ken's son, look at how it's dressed! kill the transvestite freaks! kill or be killed"... while the bald man and the red haired woman chanted this over and over, the blonde woman, lunged with the golf club.
She severed my spine, I am now a quadriplegic, and been paralyzed arms and legs, and in a wheelchair for 13 years now. She broke my hips, my knees, my legs, ruptured most of my discs, and shattered three of my vertebrae so bad that the shards of bone acted like glass and embedded themselves into my spinal column nerve bundle.
The attack also triggered labour.
My son was born in that parking lot, and he lived only a couple of minutes, before the deranged blonde woman, beat his head in and smashed his brains out, with the same golfclub she had just used to sever my spine and leave me crippled for the rest of my life.
Realizing that I was not transgender, and they'd just murdered a baby, the man grabbed the 2 women and forcibly dragged them away to a 4 door white pickup truck, and they left me there to die.
The FBI told me later, that a few weeks before this attack, and transwoman, had murdered a cis woman, in a parking lot, abou 20 miles away from where I was attacked. The FBI, believes that my attackers, had somehow found out I wrote transgender fiction, connecting my real name to my penname, (my father's name is in fact "Ken", and I do have a brother) and believed that I wrote transgender fiction, because I was myself transgender, even though I'm not transgender. The FBI, believes the attackers, thought I was my brother, pretending to be a woman.
The FBI investigation, into my son's murder, has dragged on for 13 years, and still now in 2026, continues on, with the FBI, still not having yet identified my attackers, and only guessing at what their motive was.
Thus we come to 2014, and the full swing change of the series I write. WHY my series, went from just a transman main character living life, to the full blown Mpreg genre series that it now is today.
Before the attack, I had a chance of having a baby. I don't know. And because I'm in America, I'm too old to adopt. You have to be under 45 years old to adopt a baby. That is the law in America. I was informed this, when we tried to adopt, now that my injuries leave me unable to get pregnant a 9th time.
Thus began my obsessively writing, my transman main character, pregnant. Always pregnant now. Every time. Every story. Stories that now fully focus on pregnancy, labour, miscarriages, babies dying, babies living, raising babies... the whole series, since 2014 has devolved into an outright baby obsession.
Meanwhile, reborn baby dolls were suggested to me by my therapist, and have also become a deeply obsessive part of my life. Because 13 years ago my son was murdered minutes after he was born, because a transphobic bigot mistook me for being transgender, I'm STILL in a wheelchair, struggling to relearn to use my arms and legs, now 13 years later, and I'm still DAILY dealing with police officers and FBI agents who while they are trying to find my son's killer, they are also daily reminding me... oh, yeah, my son was murdered, literally ripped out of my belly, by a transphobe. Who still has not been located and walks free to kill again.
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The golfclub woman as she looked during the golf club attack at Southern Maine community college November 14, 2013. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
The golfclub woman as she looked during the shopping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart July 26, 2016. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
The 2nd woman as she looked at both attacks, her hair goes all the way down to her knees. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer's accomplice, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
I am a legally blind quadriplegic, and low verbal, I have also published 138 novels in the last 48 years. It's not as impossible as people think. The problem being blind and quadriplegic, medically have different meanings then how those two words are used medically.
Fewer than 3% of all blind people see nothing. While 97% people who are classified as fully blind are able to see up to two feet in front of them. Legally blind means I can see more then two feet in front of me but not far enough to see twenty feet in front of me. In my case I can see about eight feet.
Quadriplegic, has varying levels, it means having a damaged nerve bundle in the spinal column causing limited mobility of all 4 limbs, (in my case this was done by a women wielding a golf club, who also beat my 8 month infant's head to pulp on the parking lot tarmak, at the same time she severed my spine with the same golf club; both on November 14, 2013; the FBI investigation into my son's murder and my being crippled has gone on now for 13 years, a few weeks away from 14 years now, and the FBI has still not identified the killer or her motive). Contrary to popular misconception, quadriplegic does NOT mean ZERO movement, it means means limited movement, specifically in means unable to lift arms over head, unable to grip fingers around objects to pick them up, and unable to stand for more then 5 minutes to a time. Because there are so many thousands of nerves in each limb it is actually very rare for there to be 100% no movement, but how much, and to what extent varies by patent depending upon the specific point of injury to the spinal column.
Meaning typing is still possible for over 60% of all quadriplegics.
In my case, it was the lower spine that was severed, cutting off completly my ability to move my right leg, leaving limited feeling in my left leg, and an ability to stand but not walk, with crutches, for the first 9 years. I regained enough nerve growth in my legs by the 9th year to be able to take ten or twelve steps allowing me to get out of bed for the first time since the golf club attack; This in turn lead to me being able to start using a wheelchair, as I was able to sit upright for the first time as well.
Because the shattered vertebrae bone fragments are broken off completly and embedded into the nerve bundle just above my tailbone, doctors were saying I would never walk again, but now at 13 years, I am able to push mu wheelchair like a walker, a distance of almost a thousand steps a day. Though doctors are still doubtful I will ever walk "normally" again, I have proven them wrong, when their said 13 years ago, that I would never walk again at all.
But because of the placement of the damage to my spine, regaining hand use, was always thought possible, it was just a matter of waiting long enough for nerve regrowth, along side daily finger exercises. I was able to continue writing, after becoming quadriplegic, because I still have use of my right thumb, and 2 fore figures of my right hand. And can type 90 words per minute with those 3 fingers.
I however have no wrist strength, elbow strength, or shoulder strength, so I am not able to form a fist, or lift objects, or brush my hair, or my teeth, all thing I have to have my caretaker do. But, those things are not needed for typing. Unfortunately, my pinky and ring fingers are "nerve dead" and drag over the keyboard, and cause horrific spelling errors and typos, which are incredibly frustrating to deal with.
Unfortunately trying to edit errors myself, just makes the errors worse, because those same two fingers drag over the keyboard yet again. Prior to the golf club attack, I rarely had spelling errors; now I got more spelling errors then someone is learning English as second language. Editing is a challenge, that I've had to accept, I simply can not do myself, and I have to hire several editors to help with that.
Low verbal means sounds can still be made, sounds that software programs like Dragon can be trained to recognize and translate, and type into full words. More then half my novels were typed with this method.
I still have a long ways to go before I am anything close to being able to do the things I could do before the golf club woman beat my baby's brains out and shattered my spine. And you know what's more frustrating then how slow mu medical progression has been? The fact that it's been 13 years and the police and FBI are still coming up at dead ends as to who the woman who murdered my baby was, or why she even did it.
My son's 14th birthday is only a few weeks away, but he didn't even get to live long enough to celebrate his 1st birthday, I don't even know why. And I can't wait to regain my ability to walk again, because regaining my ability to walk, means gaining the ability to go outside and start looking for my son's murderer myself instead of sitting at home trapped in a wheelchair waiting for the police and FBI to to find her. So, writing isn't a big priority for me anymore. I only write now, as a way to exercise my hands, in between relearning to walk.
Never let a disability stop you. Plenty of writers, artists, athletes, do not let either blindness, speech impediments, or limited mobility hold then back from perusing their careers.
Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
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There are no ebook editions as they are already available digitally here on my website.