You have encountered an extremely old website that continues to exist in old web ways, the same way it has done for now three decades.
In spite of being now 30 years old this year, started in 1996, it is still heavily active and old pages updated daily, new pages added daily, still now in 2026. All hand written, all hand coded (no AI), all by me, same as it ever was.
We Still Exist: The Old Web Did Not Go Away, You Just Forgot How To Find Us
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This site was NOT designed for mobile devices (as they had not been invented yet when I created it) thus this site looks best on a computer, at 1280x768 or above. |
This is a very old website created in 1996, so, yes, javascript is needed for the site to work as it should. If things don't function, you may need to update javascript drivers on your device |
This site tries to be mobile friendly but it's been online since 1996, so old pages may not load right on mobile devices, and as this site has had pages added near daily for 30 years there are now over 20k pages here. |
Having started out in life as a GeoCities site, this site contains glitter, bright colours, blinkies, moving gifs, and other things the old web was known for. |
f you are here looking for aliens, ufos, demons, cryptids, haunted cars, curses, Etiole, the wild man of old orchard beach, the goldeneagle car, the white monkey, or any of that other weird bullshit, you want this video:
...and after that video, you want these ones:
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If you want some stories to get you started in The Pink Necromancer series, reading these first will give you a good introduction to the 3 main characters:
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My Elves Are JellyFish...and I asked Google AI and ChatGPT 5.6 what they thought of this.
As requested, my daily writing prompt series is now available print paperback editions on Amazon.
There are 20 volumes of this writing prompt series currently planned and in varying stages of finishing, hopefully all 20 will be published by the end of 2026. I likely will do a 2nd series of writing prompt books in 2027.
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The first of the Visual Novels/Video Games for The Adventures of Quaraun the Inane/The Pink Necromancer series is published and available on Itch.io, there are 3 more planned for release in 2026, 6 more planned for release in 2027, and the big 60-hour 80k word 150 page one (Quaraun Goes To the Fair) is planned for a 2028 release.
There is a Pink Necromancer card game and a Pink Necromancer board game, as well as a Pink Necromancer table top RPG supliment for Dungeons and Dragons, all in the works, and to be released over the next couple of years as well.
I shouldn't have to say this, but people keep contacting me, so apparently I do:
If you have any information about my son’s murderer, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
Do you know who this woman is?
On August 8, 2013 she drove a backhoe over my house. On November 14, 2013 she arrived at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me with a golf club and murdered my son. One June 24, 2016, days after my first attempts to walk again, she attacked me with a shopping cart at Scarborough, Walmart, reinjuring the Nov 14, 2013 injury.
She crippled me when I was 8 months pregnant, a woman with a golf club, severed my spine and bashed my baby's head in, I spent 9 years relearning to walk, and the FBI is 13 years into the murder investigation and not yet id-ed the attacker who crippled me and killed my baby, both violently with a golf club.
Complete details of EVERYTHING she did is on this page here.
The golf club woman who called herself Clair as she looked November 14, 2013. Her hair is a weird chin leangth pageboy (very Medival style cut) platinum blonde with wide brown/black dyed stripes in it (like a reverse of Lily Munster, but the stripes are several, almost like a zebra). I am 5'6" and she was a LOT taller then me, like closer to the height of a man; she had thin lips like a man, and large nose like a man... she COULD have been a man disguised as a woman, given the ease with which she severed my spine....she's is a LOT stronger then is typical for a woman). She was wearing a chambre blue denim "blazer jacket over shirt" and a button up mens shirt (possibly flannel) and blue jeans. The bulk of her yelling was focused on accusing me of being transgender, even while ripping my baby out of my 8 month pregnant belly and bashing his head in with a golf club. |
The Claire woman as she looked during her shoping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart June 2016, the attack with left me paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Her hair was dyed dark red, and she drove away in a gold Volvo 240 Station Wagon of a late 1980s/early1990s model, with a "458" on the lisnce plate.... If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
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If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
Good god! We just found out about yet another slanderous rumour this woman has been spreading? When does it end? How many more of these things are out there?
Video explains what else she's done ...
If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
If you encounter anyone claiming my car is haunted, demon possessed, or somehow connected to Stephen King please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
If you encounter anyone claiming I believe in aliens or was an alien abducttee, please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
Answering a somewhat unusual question today. Basically "How do writers keep healthy?" and "What are the benefits of drinking lemon water?" Here's the question:
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"I have to lose 60 pounds in the next 3 weeks. How can I find an affordable wellness/weight loss program. one that works.What did you do? Do you have a gym membership? How often do you go to the gym? Do you
take supplements for before or after a workout to improve performance? I have trouble with the gym because I'm always hungry.
How often have skipped the gym or cut a workout short because you
needed to eat something? Can you tell me what to do to stay motived to
not leave the gym to eat? I
want all natural snacks, smoothies, and
small meals that are nutritionally dense but I get side tracked, and eatcookies instead, if I
bring them with me should I eat them directly before or after a
workout, what do you do? I want to set up a reasonable exercise plan but I don't know where to start. I neeedway to be
sucessful If you do not use a wellness/weight loss program, why not? I was told you lost a lot of weight real fast, how, because that's what I need to do. I was thinking of using lemon water to do it, I read somewhere that you drinl lemon water every morning and was wondering if you could tell me how much weight I could lose and how fast by drinking lemon water every day. Does it work or is it like a fad thing? Does it have to be fresh lemons or can I use lemonade. I’ve never squeezed lemons how do I do that? And also what kind of exercise should I do with it to lose weight? Or I guess what kind of exerice did you do, I heard you lost 80 pounds or something like that. I don’t get much excersie because I’m a writer and I get stuck at the computer all day so all this weight caught up on me. I know I’m getting enough water because I drink 32 ounces of water a day as recommended, so do I just add the lemon juice to the water I already drink? How does that work exactly? Like what do I do? Do I make the lemon water or do I buy lemon energy drinks? I’m not sure what exactly lemon water is. Basicaly I want to know what you did so I can do it too cause I heard you like lost a whole bunch of weight in a short time and I need to do it right now because I only have 3 weeks to get it off. Also I need to be fairer too and I heard lemon juice can make you fair, does it?" |
My first thought is why the big panic? Why the rush to lose so much weight in such a short time? It seems odd to me.
This thought was quickly followed by "Why me?" I'm not a weight loss or diet specialist or anything. Heck I know very little about diet, nutrition, weight loss, exercise or any of those other such things. It's not really my area of expertise, and it's not something I have ever even talked about before, so not too sure why you chose to direct this question at me.
This is a very interesting question. I had not thought to have a section on health, diet, and exercise as they apply to writers and authors so I actually don't know where I will put this article on my website. I'll find a place for it I suppose. Maybe I can make a section for it? Oh well, whatever. Let's see if I can answer your questions.
You are correct, I do drink lemon water, I did lose 80lbs, and I can tell you what I did so you can do it too, but I can also tell you that once you know what I do every day and what I did to lose weight fast, you seriously are not gonna like it because it ain't no, lose weight quick scheme that's for sure. And really, if you ain't trapped during a blizzard under 9' of snow, you probably are not going to be able to repeat my massive, super fast weight loss.
But, let's address your questions about lemon water first and than talk about how I lost weight afterwards, shall we?

First, you don’t have to squeeze your own lemons. As long as it is 100% pure lemon juice it doesn’t matter if it is fresh squeezed or bottled juice. I’ve used bottled lemon juice for 30+ years now. Don’t use frozen juice concentrate, lemonade, powdered lemon drink mix, or “lemon flavored vitamin water” - those won’t work.
If you are drinking 8 glasses of water a day (64oz) with at least 1 of those glasses containing 1/4cup of lemon juice, you should lose 1/2lb to 2lbs per week or any where from 13lbs up to 52lbs in 6 months (varies depending on your diet and activity level; 1/2lb per week is assuming you are low activity and unhealthy diet; 2lbs per week assumes you are very active and health nut diet), the average person can expect to lose about 3/4lb per week or a total of about 22lbs in 6 months.
Keep in mind this is WITHOUT adding any changes to your regular diet or exercise. Switching to a healthier diet and getting more exercise will increase those numbers.
As a general rule most people can assume that adding lemon water to your diet will result in 1/2lb loss per week (27lbs per year) if you are drinking 8 glasses of water a day with a 1/4cup of lemon in 1 or more of those glasses.

This is assuming that you are ALREADY drinking 8 glasses of water a day (without lemon) and ALREADY have a soda free and coffee free diet. Drinking soda, diet soda, and/or coffee neutralizes the effects of ALL weight loss “programs”. The first step to losing weight regardless of what diet you choice is to cut soda and coffee from your diet 100% - both promote water retention and bloating and soda slaps fat to your abdomen faster than any other food out there.
Until you remove soda and coffee from your diet, you will see only a few ounces of weight gone if you lose any weight at all - one ANY diet program.
Using lemon water as a coffee replacement will increase the weight lose from 1/2lb to 1lb per week (or 52lbs per year). This is assuming you drink coffee daily and remove coffee from your diet 100% and never drink coffee again. Ever. Not once. Not even a sip. Not even iced coffee. Not even coffee flavored ice cream or mocha flavored truffles. You need to go ZIP 100% coffee free, cold turkey, if you are going to lose weight.
Using lemon water to replace soda will increase the weight loss to 2lbs or more per week or 104lbs per year. In some people cutting soda 100% from their diet and replacing it 100% with lemon water, resulted in 12lbs of weight lose per week - however their body suffered from "diet shock". It is recommended to cut back on soda 1 can at a time - in other words if you drink 6 cans a day [average for most people] cut to 5 a day for the first week, than 4 a day the next week, etc, until you have SAFELY removed soda from your diet.
You can’t cut soda out of your diet cold turkey, because it’ll cause you to lose TOO MUCH weight too fast, and make you wicked sick afterwards, than cause your body to go into sugar shock (which can cause a coma).

This weight loss comes from just changing your fluid intake and nothing else. It requires no change in food/diet and no change of activity/exercise to see the weight loss numbers I have quoted here. Do note that these are “average” figures and not everyone loses weight the same speed. Your genetic makeup and metabolism has a lot to do with how much and how fast you lose weight, and that’s something you have no real control over.
Also anyone who tells you lemon water is 100% safe is pulling your leg, and you should never, ever, ever start a diet of any kind without getting a physical exam first and telling your doctor your weight lose plans and diet program ideas. Some people are allergic to lemons and citrus fruits. Some people who are not allergic, can become allergic if they suddenly flood their system with too much of it.
Some people have health issues (such as heart disease, or kidney disorders) which can become seriously complicated by eating citrus fruit (especially grapefruits). If you are taking any medication that has a warning telling you not to drink grapefruit juice (and about 14% of all medications say this on the label) then you should also avoid drinking lemon water.

Also, know that lemon water is not good for your teeth, so if you have dental issues be sure to ask your dentist if it is okay to drink lemon water before you start, because some folks who have fragile teeth, can actually see their dental problems increase from drinking lemon water.
I’m not a health expert or doctor or anything like that, I don’t know all the facts, but I do know that these are a few of the dangers you have to consider and there are others.
That’s why you should not start drinking lemon water until after you have told both your doctor and your dentist of your plans to do so.
You are wanting to lose 60lbs fast. Know that you can not SAFELY lose 60lbs in fewer than 30 weeks. It is very dangerous to lose more than 2lbs per week and no reputable health adviser will recommend losing more than 1lb a week (only 1/2lb a week is normally recommended); it is highly recommended that anyone who loses 4 or more lbs in a single week see a doctor immediately as this is a sign of serious health problems.
Yes, lemon water works, and yes, it works fast, but losing more than 2lbs in a week is abnormal for ANY person on ANY diet. I’m sorry but, outside of surgery (which is risky of it self) there is no safe way you can lose 60lbs in 3 weeks no matter what diet you try. I’m sorry, but it just ain’t gonna happen.
Lemon water will help, sure, but lemon water is not the "cure all" answer to your problem, nor is lemon water the secret to what you seem to deem as my "weight loss success". I'm not sure, actually, how you came to the conclusion that lemon water had anything to do with me losing 80lbs or my losing 30 of those 80lbs super fast.

There are diets that can do it yes, but they have serious side effects that will make you very sick, side effects which include, but are not limited to: heart attack, stroke, and loss of the ability to ever have children. The biggest danger of super fast weight lose is the resulting super fast bounce-back of weight gain: in other words, say you did lose the 60lbs in 3 weeks; in 4 months you will have gained 120lbs back, because the fast weight loss will have triggered your brain to go into hyper mode, thus increasing the metabolic rate at which your body stores fat, causing you to gain weight at speeds triple your normal weight gain.
What you are not taking into consideration here is that I lost the 30lbs super fast because I was super sick, super dehydrated, and super close to death's door. I almost died, that's WHY I lost the weight, because I was too sick to eat! When you lose weight wicked fast like that, it's not just body fat you are losing, you lose muscle weight too. I almost died from starvation. I wasn't on a diet, I wasn't trying to lose weight! A frigging hurricane came through, took everything with it, including paces to grow or buy food. There simply was no food to eat for weeks on end. I lost weight because I was starving to death from lack of access to food! Okay?

Another
thing you a probably not considering is I'm not a fan of sweets, so I
don't add sugar to my lemon water, I sometimes don't add water to my
lemon juice, and I buy those big 5lb bags of fresh lemons which I sit
down, peel, and eat raw, same way most folks eat oranges, I am also
known to crack open a jar of sour dills and drink the pickle juice same
way most folks drink soda, I use vinegar as a topping/syrup/dip for
everything, I eat 4 or 5 jumbo sour dill pickles a meal, and I've been
doing this since I was about 3 years old. When I do drink soda the only
soda I drink is Moxie. When I do eat candy, they tend to be TearJerkers
or WarHeads. Did I mention I live in Maine and we Mainers have strange
tastes in food?
So, yeah, before you jump in feet first and start guzzling down lemon water you might want to give it a taste first and see if you can take it, because there is a reason why not many people drink lemon water and that is because the average person is conditioned to drinking sweet drinks and really have a hard time just taking a few sips of lemon water. It's wicked sour.

For best results of consistent weight loss and prevention of further weight gain, you should be drinking 8 glasses of water a day (64oz) with at least 1 of those glasses containing 1/4cup of lemon juice. AND walk briskly over hilly terrain with steep inclines for at least 30mins a day 3 days a week. By doing this you should consistently lose 1 to 2lbs of abdominal fat per week.
The long term advantage of this “low stress” plan of adding lemon water and walking to your routine is that both lemon water and walking help to curb cravings and promote nutrients circulating throughout your entire body, and in the long run these things cause you to CRAVE healthier food and you will find that after 6 months or so of doing this, you no longer have the desire to eat “junk food”. This in turn causes you to keep the weight off, because you no longer desire to eat the things which put the weight on to begin with.

You only need to drink lemon water as one of your daily glasses of water,so don't go turning all of your glasses into lemon water!
Also, you mentioned drinking 32oz of water and thinking you are getting your daily recommended amount of water. Where do you get this idea from? I see it all the time. It’s so inaccurate. Who is telling you 32oz is even close to being the daily recommended amount of water? It’s not. It’s so not. 64oz is the daily recommended amount, not 32oz. 32oz is only HALF the daily recommendation. And 64oz, that ain’t the maximum, either, that’s only the barest minimum! If you are ONLY drinking 32oz a day than your body is really hating you because you are keeping it dehydrated.
I keep seeing folks mentioning they drink 32oz of water a day and think that is enough. I don’t get it. How are people thinking 32oz is enough? Just ask any doctor and they’ll tell you how wrong you are! 32oz is only half of the MINIMUM recommended daily amount of water which is 8, 8oz glasses (64oz). Your body struggles to burn energy (thus storing fat instead) if you do not have enough water in your system. You should try increasing your water intake to AT LEAST 8, 8oz glasses (64oz). You'll notice a dramatic difference in both your weight loss and your health, just from getting the required amount of water you need to run your body.
It's not 4, 8oz glasses a day. It's not 8, 4oz glasses a day. It's 8, 8oz glasses a day: minimum.
Do you know what minimum means? Minimum means no less than, but should be much more than. Minimum means enough to survive but not enough to thrive. Minimum means you actually need a lot more than 64oz of water a day, but never less than 64oz. Did you know that many health professional even say that 64oz is cutting the minimum too low and that it should be twice that? Twice that! That's 128oz a day! There are actually doctors and health gurus out there trying to get the FDA to change the daily minimum from 8, 8oz glasses to 8, 16oz bottles of water! That is 2 gallons of water a day (not 2 gallons of lemon water a day! Lemon water is acid, it'll burn holes in our stomach you drink 2 gallons of it a day!).
These doctors are saying you should not drink less than 2 gallons of water a day, and you are telling me that by drinking only 1/2 gallon of water a day, you think you are getting enough to drink? Honey, if you REALLY want to lose weight, start drinking 2 gallons of water a day. Why?
Well, besides all the health reasons behind it, if you are dehydrated your body starts craving salt. When you start craving salt you start eating more. When you eat more, you gain weight. When you drink 2 gallons of water a day, your body is nice and happy because it is hydrated, so it doesn't tell you to feed it salty foods, you don't get all these hourly hunger snacking cravings, you suddenly have the desire to eat less, and by eating less, you stop gaining weight, and start to lose weight instead.

Think of it as if you were a car. You wouldn't try to drive your car around if the transmission fluid was half empty, because it would kill the transmission. The transmission is the heart that keeps a car running, without the proper fluid level everything on your car starts pushing harder to keep the transmission going and soon everything is wearing out faster than normal.
When you are drinking anything less than 64oz of water a day, you are putting more pressure on your heart and wearing down all of your organs and systems that are working double time to make up for your heart not getting enough fluid (remember - your blood is mostly water and if you are running on half empty, your blood ain't flowing properly through your heart!)
Think of lemon water as you adding premium gas to your car. It doesn't really need it, but it'll last longer and run better if you do it.
Note: if you lose more than 2lbs per week, you also are at a greater risk of your body gaining the fat back twice as fast. In other words if you lose 6lbs in one week, those 6lbs you lost in a week, will come back as 24lbs added to your waist in about 4 months time. This is caused by "hunger shock". Hunger shock is when your body loses weight too fast and your brain triggers cravings, causing you to eat more, snack more, become drowsy (thus skipping active pursuits more), and induces your body to start producing "panic fat" (your brain assumes you are starving to death and "panics" triggering your body to produce more fat than is normal.) Never, ever, EVER try to lose more than 2lbs per week and if you find yourself losing 4 or more lbs per week go to your doctor FAST!
Not sure what you mean by "fairer", I assume you mean skin care? It does prevent wrinkles, blemishes, and acne, I am in my 40s, I started doing this in my teens, and when I go shopping on school days, I often have store clerks yelling at me for "cutting class"; when I show them my id, they next accuses me of having fake id! They always think I'm under 16. Than they say "But you’re 20 years older than me, how is that possible?" Never smoked, never drank coffee, never drank alcohol, never ate meat, I live on the beach and gather fresh beach sand to make skin scrubs with, and I ditched soda and replaced it with lemon water.
I also have a hell of a healthy diet and lifestyle. And I am running out of room to write this all on one page so I’m going to stop here and go create a second page, and then keep on writing my answer because I ain’t close to finished, it is kind of finished on the lemon water side of things, so new page...
Okay, so I’m back. Here’s the next page of this article... >>>
This page was written by Wendy Christine Allen of 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
All Rights Reserved.
Note: English is not my first language, Shetlean Scottish is my native language, there are likly spelling and grammar errors, as I do not know American English and am attempting to write it by sounding words out.
Many times that Americans think a word on my site is misspelled, often it is not misspelled, it is just I mixed up languages and wrote it in Scottish without realizing I mixed the Scottish in with the English. Also our grammar is somewhat reversed from English grammar so words that are seeming in the wrong order for American English, is usually because they are in the correct order for Scottish and I either put English words in Scottish order by mistake or was unaware English put them in a different order then Scottish does.
For those unaware, Scottish Shetlean looks like this:
American English to Scottish:
a bit (piece) = a party --- EXAMPLE: "And some know a bit of Latin " > "And somme kan of latyn a party "
a long distance from = A piece fae
a piece of = the bit --- EXAMPLE: "The duck ate a piece of bread " > "The deuk ett the bit breid "
about the banks (on the shore/at the beach) = aboot da banks
accomplishments = kunnandi
After = Back o --- EXAMPLE: " After Halloween" > "Back o Hallomas "
alive (living) = kvikr
Always on the move = Never aff o da go
am I not = amn't I --- EXAMPLE: "Am I not invited? " > "I amn't invited? or Amn't I invited?"
are = is --- EXAMPLE: "Are you going soon?" > "Is ya to be going soon?"
autumn = dah haihst
belong to = fylgja
best = bettah moost
betray (verb) = svíkja
bewildered = villhyggjandi
building = biggin up --- EXAMPLE: "building confidence in everyday use " > " biggin up confidence in ivvryday øs "
built = builded --- EXAMPLE: "He built a new porch." > "Hims builded a new porch."
cast a spell = hoodooed
cat = kat (sounds like "caught") --- EXAMPLE: "Is it an orange cat?" > "Be he a o'jinn kat?"
child = bairn
church = kirk
color = colour
danger = hœttr
daren't = darena
daring = djarfr
dark = dökk
dark elf = Dökkálfr
dark-elves = Døkkálfar
darker = dökká
do you agree = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "That's a fine looking woman, do you agree?" > "Dair's ah right bonnie lass, eh?"
do you want to come too = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "I'm going to the store, do you want to come with me?" > "Me go to shope, eh?"
each = eche --- EXAMPLE: "Which each person can understand " > "That kan eche man understonde "
educated = lered --- EXAMPLE: "Both among the educated and the uneducated " > "As wel among lered as lewed "
elf = Alfr
Elf = Álfr
Elf Home = Álfheimr
Elf World = Álfheimr
elf-advice = Ælfred
elf-beautiful = ælfscyne
elf-friend = Ælfwine
elf-guardian (female) = Ælfwaru
elf-guardian (male) = Ælfweard
elf-powerful = Ælfric
everyday = ivvryday
eyelids = eye ledes --- EXAMPLE: "He closed his eyelids." > "Hims did shut hims eye ledes"
fair = faire --- EXAMPLE: "Going to the fair." > "Done gone went to the faire."
feild = felde --- EXAMPLE: "Standing in the feild." > "Stoodt in thems felde."
further = ferther --- EXAMPLE: "I looked further." > "I dids lokid ferther."
green = grene --- EXAMPLE: "Look at the green hedges and woods." > "Look see at thems heigges and holtz so grene."
handsome = braw --- EXAMPLE: "He is very handsome " > "Him wicked braw "
have faith = trúa
Have no doubts about our doing it = Nae faer o wis
Have no liking for this. = Hae nae brou o this.
have not = ain't
He knows how many beans make five. = He kens the laid frae the croun o the causey.
He knows which side his bread is buttered on. = He kens whilk side his bannock's buttert on.
Head for = Mak wye for
head rope in fishing nets and lines = baak
head to head = Be at the knag and the widdie
horse fly = klegsie
I = Me
I Think = Me thinks --- EXAMPLE: "I think we're late. " > "Me thinks that we is late. "
I wish you well for the future = Lang may yer lum reek (translation: Long may your chimney smoke)
idiot = eejit --- EXAMPLE: "You idiot." > "Ya eejit."
idiot = numpty
if = iffy or yif--- EXAMPLE: "If you don't mind..." > "Iffy yas does no care mind...."; "If you'll stay with me long enough = "Yif ye so longe with me wil dwelle". "
I'll be even with you = A'll see day aboot wi ye
know = ken
looked = lokid
looked = lokid --- EXAMPLE: "I looked up." > "I lifte up me eye ledes and lokid ferther."
magic = hoodoo
naked = nøkkviðr
needle = bodkin
neither = nouther --- EXAMPLE: "Who know neither Latin nor French " > "That kan nouther latyn ne frensch "
No = Nay --- EXAMPLE: "No, I don't think so. " > "Nay, me thinks not. "
Nobody knew = not-knew nobody
Noontide = Da heicht o da day
NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "Did you meet the new family next door?" > "Dids ya gets a chance to stop by and meets with thems new folk that move-ed in down yawn there next doors to ya, eh?"
NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "He went to Rite-Aid to pick up his prescription" > "Hims did go to that yawn there new fangled store the new folks call that Rite Aid place, to gets himself some of thems there pills what the doctor gone and tells him to take each morning, a-yep, hims did."
old = olde --- EXAMPLE: "But educated and uneducated, old and young " > "Bot lered and lewed olde and yonge "
orange = o'jinn
out = oot --- EXAMPLE: "The cat wants to go out." > "The kat he do wants oot."
outside = oot dair
people = fokk --- EXAMPLE: "the people of Shetland " > "Shetland fokk "
people = folke --- EXAMPLE: "Look at all those people." > "Lookie at all thems folke."
poorly = febelly --- EXAMPLE: "Who know French very poorly " > "That kan frensch ful febelly "
Recognising = Recognisin --- EXAMPLE: "Recognising the bilingual nature of Shaetlan speakers " > "Recognisin da wye at Shaetlan spaekers is bilingual "
shield = skjoldr
Since = For --- EXAMPLE: "Since that is your native language " > "For that is youre kynde langage "
tell = telle --- EXAMPLE: "I'll tell you in English " > "In englysch tonge I schal you telle "
the = da, de, or is not used at all --- EXAMPLE: "I went to the store" > "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to shoppe"
them = dem, dem dair --- EXAMPLE: "I went with them" > "Me goes wit dem dair"
there = dair --- EXAMPLE: "I want those potatoes" > "Me be wanting dem dair tatetas."
they = dey
To where = whither --- EXAMPLE: ""Where you go, I will go." " > ""Whither thou goest, I'll go."
understand = understonde
understand = understonden --- EXAMPLE: "Some understand English " > "And somme understonden englysch "
very = wicked --- EXAMPLE: "very good" > "wicked good"; "very bad" > "wicked bad"; "very cold" > "wicked cold"
Where = Whither --- EXAMPLE: "Where is the restroom? " > "Whither is the privy?"
Yes = Yea or Aye --- EXAMPLE: "Yes, I think so. " > "Yea, me thinks so. " or "Aye, me thinks so. "
For anyone actually interested in learning my native language, the Scottish government has THIS listed as the official dictionary of our people: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/61d7352954b7fd1c9dbdfef4/t/65ddb2749d5e0541a01009c0/1709027964496/Spaektionary_2024feb.pdf
The Scottish government provides this document to show our language in use: https://www.shetland.uhi.ac.uk/t4-media/one-web/uhi-shetland-images-and-documents/documents-/shaetlan/Shaetlan-Language-Plan-2022-Shaetlan.pdf
More information about our language can be found on this website: https://www.iheardee.com which is written in my native language.
However, there is also other reasons why words might be misspelled, or why I might not understand someone when they speak to me.
My grandmother Helen Ricker Allen, was from Unst, Shetland, Scotland, and she the one who raised me. She taught me to read and write, but it was Shetlain that she taught me. She died when I was 8 years old, and I was locked in a woodshed after her furneral, I escaped the woodshed 27 years later at age 31, and have been trying to learn how to speak and write English since then.
It is a very great struggle.
At age 37 I took remidial reading and speaking classes at Southern Maine Community College, but we are Gypsies and Gypsy men do not allow us Gypsy women to have education, and so, while at college, on November 14, 2013, I was beaten with a golf club, while I was 8 months pregnet, breaking my spine, hips, and knees, killing my baby and leaving me quardepaleic since.
Now my primary focus these past 13 years has been on relearning to use my hand so I could type... as of 2023, I have regained the use of my right thumb, and first two right fingers, and after 10 years offline, I am back online due to I can use three finguers.
I never went to school, so I do not know maths and numbers and sciences, and I do not know what else would have been taught to me in school. We are Scottish Gypsies and Gypsy culture does not allow females to go to school. Being born female was already a great sin, but my grandmother took great risk in teaching me reading and writing. At 4 years old I was punished by my Uncle Bruce for knowing how to read, by being beaten in the face with a cinder block brick, that broke my right jaw and left me with garbaled near-mute spoken words ever since.
Because no one ever spoke words to be face to face from he time I was 8 years old until I was 37 years old (I escaped the room at age 27, but did not start college until 37), I have no training in how to vocally sound out or speak the words I write or read. I can read words, but I do not know how to sound out or say those words. I can write words, but I do not know how to match the written word against the spoken word. I struggle to associate spoken words at all, or make them match up with writen words.
Esentially, written words and spoken words are two completly seperate languages in my brain, and I have difficulty understanding spoken words.
If you say a sentance to me with your mouth, chances are very high I will have ZERO understanding of what you said and I will not be able to ander you.
However, if you WRITE down that exact same sentabnce, I can understand you and can type a written responce to you.
My doctors tell me this is a side effect of extreme isolation and neglect and lack of human contact during my toddler, childhood, teen, and young adult years, and that my brain never deveoloped to comprehend spoken vocal words due to no one ever speaking to me in over three decades of the first half of my life.
While I can read and write, American English (somewhat) I do no know how words are sounded out, what they are supposed to sound like. I readand write by shape recognition, not by sound/vocal recognition, so when reading and writing I do no "hear the words in my head" as I am told most people do when they read and write. In other words... I see "c a t" and think "c-a-t" I do not think "cat" nor do I "see" an image of a cat, no do I "hear" the word cat spoken. I'm told that this is very rare and that most people read and write by sounding out the words and linking them to visual mind images, while hearing the sound of the word in their head. I neiher hear words in my head no see images of things in my head. I'm told this is what makes me both a speed reader and speed writer, because I'm not tripped up by hear sounds or seeing images in my head like nomal people would be doing... however, I'm also told this is why my spelling and grammar are very poor, because my brain is not hear the sounds of the words or seeing visual images of the objects the words represent, so my mind also does not register spelling and grammer errors at all.
As I was only let out of the woodshed on Sundays to go to the Cape Elezabeth Ward Church of the August Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I was never allowed to go to school or hospital either. No adults ever talked to me because I was evil for comitted the sin of being born female, so I never learned how to speak properly and do not know how to sound out words to say them.
I was 42 years old, in 2016 when, while having an MRI for my spine, the doctors found out my speak issue was caused by a broken jaw as a toddler that was healed wrong because not being allowed to go to doctors. I had surgury to fix that, and since 2016 have been trying to learn how to use my jaw and touge so I can speak vocal words now.
Since 2023 my primary focus shifted to relearning to walk. I can now, in 2026, sit up for 2 or 3 hours a day, and can sand with a cane for a few minutes, and can walk for around five thousand feet in 2 to 3 segments a day, with the help of pushing my wheelchair like a walker.
As of 2026, with a slight return to using my fingers and legs, I am once again focused on trying to learn the American English, but I live in mortal fear of my uncles and male cousins, as they are so hateful of allowing me to have education.
have no one to help me to know if I am doing words correctly, and as such, I have no way of knowing if there are spelling and grammar errors, but I asume there are, and I fix them when I learn them, but I do not know what I do not know and spelling American words is a thing I do bnot know.
I have Low Fucntioning Kanner's Syndrom, also known as "RainMan Type of Autism" aka REAL and ACTUAL Autism, not to be confused with Aspergers, High Functioning Autism, or and of thr 861 illnesses on the Autism Spectrum. An Autism Spectrum Disorder is an illness that has symptoms similar to Autism but IS NOT Autism. If you have an Autism Spectrum Disorder, it LITERALLY MEANS you do NOT have Autism.
I am medically diagnosed as "kanner's syndrome, actual autism, the rainman type, profoundly retarded autistic savant, with a general IQ of 73, and an writing IQ of 221" but they added that they did not know how to properly diagnose me as I am "technically a feral child" and they don't know "how much is the autism, and how much is simple horrific levels of abuse and neglect induced post traumatic stress disorder that will go away with proper socilization".
It means I know how to write, I can write a lot, and it is next to impossible for you to teach me how to do literally anythig else because my brain only knows how to write and doesn;t know how to do anything else..
There's a reason, when I do book signings, people are quick to say: "Okay, what's the joke? why is this stupid retard here? where's the real author? I know this retard isn't the author. where are you hiding the author, why is this fucking retard here"
The end result is, I have near zero social interaction... my 3 years in college was the ONLY face to face interaction I have ever had with humans in my entire life, and I struggle deeply to understand MOST words used by MOST people when they ask me question. And so I suffer from a huge lack of understanding many words people say to me, how to translate those words into spelling, and how to translate what it is that has been said.
The fact remains hat until there exists a human on this planet who is willing to sit down and teach me what words spoken line up with and match what words written, this deficent is unlily to improve. But the fact also remains, that I am simply far too profoundly retarded for anyone to even try to make any attempt at all even to speak a friendly "hgelloe" or "good morning" when passing me on the street, so I have lost all hope of anyone ever either being my friend, being willing to teach me how to match spoken words to written words, or how to speak to other humans.
While there are around 20k pages on this website, most of them are blocked from search engines, with only around 800 of them available for appearing in Google/Bing/etc search results. The remainder can only be accessed via the various links found throughout this site. This was done deliberately on my part, and I did it because the bulk of the pages on this website are chapters from 138 novels and 423 novellas, so only the first page of each novel and novella indexed by search engines, and the remainder are linked in order, one page at a time, via clicking "next page" at the end of each. So if you are looking for a specific page from a specific novel, Google can't help you.
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Thank you for stopping by and have a nice day! ꧁✨🌸🔮🦄🔮🌸✨꧂ And if it’s your birthday today: ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐꧁ᴴᵃᵖᵖʸ☆ᵇⁱʳᵗʰᵈᵃʸ꧂🤍🎀🧸🌷🍭 |
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Get an email whenever Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻 publishes on Medium.
>I also write on these locations: | Amazon | Ao3 | Blogger | GumRoad | Medium | Notd | OnlyFans | Tumblr | Vocal |
Do you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine on August 8, 2013? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son on November 14, 2013 at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me July 26, 2016 at scarborough WalMart,... they arrived the first time with a backhoe on August 8, 2013, that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since....
... which means it is now only a few weeks from the 14th anniversary of my son's murder. I was 8 month pregnant November 14, 2013, and a student ay SMCC, and coming out of the Buglight Lighthouse art studio after art class, when a still unidentifiedwoman wielding a golf club attacked me, severed my spine, while I was 8 months pregnant, triggered early labour, then killed my son minutes after he was born.
While accusing me of being transgender, screaming "transvestite freak" and "look at that thing, that's Ken's son in a dress"... while I was 8 months pregnant.
My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son and crippled me, arrived the first time with a backhoe that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since. |
The backhoe driver returned November 14, 2013, armed with a golf club, used it to break my spine and smash my baby's brains out on the ground
On November 14, 2013, my son was murdered. I was 8 months pregnant, leaving my college classroom, and just getting into my car, when 3 strangers, a man and two women, armed with golf clubs leapt out from behind my car screaming "kill or be killed, kill the transvestite freaks, kill them all before they kill us! look at that thing! That is Ken's son, look at how it's dressed! kill the transvestite freaks! kill or be killed"... while the bald man and the red haired woman chanted this over and over, the blonde woman, lunged with the golf club.
She severed my spine, I am now a quadriplegic, and been paralyzed arms and legs, and in a wheelchair for 13 years now. She broke my hips, my knees, my legs, ruptured most of my discs, and shattered three of my vertebrae so bad that the shards of bone acted like glass and embedded themselves into my spinal column nerve bundle.
The attack also triggered labour.
My son was born in that parking lot, and he lived only a couple of minutes, before the deranged blonde woman, beat his head in and smashed his brains out, with the same golfclub she had just used to sever my spine and leave me crippled for the rest of my life.
Realizing that I was not transgender, and they'd just murdered a baby, the man grabbed the 2 women and forcibly dragged them away to a 4 door white pickup truck, and they left me there to die.
The FBI told me later, that a few weeks before this attack, and transwoman, had murdered a cis woman, in a parking lot, abou 20 miles away from where I was attacked. The FBI, believes that my attackers, had somehow found out I wrote transgender fiction, connecting my real name to my penname, (my father's name is in fact "Ken", and I do have a brother) and believed that I wrote transgender fiction, because I was myself transgender, even though I'm not transgender. The FBI, believes the attackers, thought I was my brother, pretending to be a woman.
The FBI investigation, into my son's murder, has dragged on for 13 years, and still now in 2026, continues on, with the FBI, still not having yet identified my attackers, and only guessing at what their motive was.
Thus we come to 2014, and the full swing change of the series I write. WHY my series, went from just a transman main character living life, to the full blown Mpreg genre series that it now is today.
Before the attack, I had a chance of having a baby. I don't know. And because I'm in America, I'm too old to adopt. You have to be under 45 years old to adopt a baby. That is the law in America. I was informed this, when we tried to adopt, now that my injuries leave me unable to get pregnant a 9th time.
Thus began my obsessively writing, my transman main character, pregnant. Always pregnant now. Every time. Every story. Stories that now fully focus on pregnancy, labour, miscarriages, babies dying, babies living, raising babies... the whole series, since 2014 has devolved into an outright baby obsession.
Meanwhile, reborn baby dolls were suggested to me by my therapist, and have also become a deeply obsessive part of my life. Because 13 years ago my son was murdered minutes after he was born, because a transphobic bigot mistook me for being transgender, I'm STILL in a wheelchair, struggling to relearn to use my arms and legs, now 13 years later, and I'm still DAILY dealing with police officers and FBI agents who while they are trying to find my son's killer, they are also daily reminding me... oh, yeah, my son was murdered, literally ripped out of my belly, by a transphobe. Who still has not been located and walks free to kill again.
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The golfclub woman as she looked during the golf club attack at Southern Maine community college November 14, 2013. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
The golfclub woman as she looked during the shopping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart July 26, 2016. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
The 2nd woman as she looked at both attacks, her hair goes all the way down to her knees. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer's accomplice, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
I am a legally blind quadriplegic, and low verbal, I have also published 138 novels in the last 48 years. It's not as impossible as people think. The problem being blind and quadriplegic, medically have different meanings then how those two words are used medically.
Fewer than 3% of all blind people see nothing. While 97% people who are classified as fully blind are able to see up to two feet in front of them. Legally blind means I can see more then two feet in front of me but not far enough to see twenty feet in front of me. In my case I can see about eight feet.
Quadriplegic, has varying levels, it means having a damaged nerve bundle in the spinal column causing limited mobility of all 4 limbs, (in my case this was done by a women wielding a golf club, who also beat my 8 month infant's head to pulp on the parking lot tarmak, at the same time she severed my spine with the same golf club; both on November 14, 2013; the FBI investigation into my son's murder and my being crippled has gone on now for 13 years, a few weeks away from 14 years now, and the FBI has still not identified the killer or her motive). Contrary to popular misconception, quadriplegic does NOT mean ZERO movement, it means means limited movement, specifically in means unable to lift arms over head, unable to grip fingers around objects to pick them up, and unable to stand for more then 5 minutes to a time. Because there are so many thousands of nerves in each limb it is actually very rare for there to be 100% no movement, but how much, and to what extent varies by patent depending upon the specific point of injury to the spinal column.
Meaning typing is still possible for over 60% of all quadriplegics.
In my case, it was the lower spine that was severed, cutting off completly my ability to move my right leg, leaving limited feeling in my left leg, and an ability to stand but not walk, with crutches, for the first 9 years. I regained enough nerve growth in my legs by the 9th year to be able to take ten or twelve steps allowing me to get out of bed for the first time since the golf club attack; This in turn lead to me being able to start using a wheelchair, as I was able to sit upright for the first time as well.
Because the shattered vertebrae bone fragments are broken off completly and embedded into the nerve bundle just above my tailbone, doctors were saying I would never walk again, but now at 13 years, I am able to push mu wheelchair like a walker, a distance of almost a thousand steps a day. Though doctors are still doubtful I will ever walk "normally" again, I have proven them wrong, when their said 13 years ago, that I would never walk again at all.
But because of the placement of the damage to my spine, regaining hand use, was always thought possible, it was just a matter of waiting long enough for nerve regrowth, along side daily finger exercises. I was able to continue writing, after becoming quadriplegic, because I still have use of my right thumb, and 2 fore figures of my right hand. And can type 90 words per minute with those 3 fingers.
I however have no wrist strength, elbow strength, or shoulder strength, so I am not able to form a fist, or lift objects, or brush my hair, or my teeth, all thing I have to have my caretaker do. But, those things are not needed for typing. Unfortunately, my pinky and ring fingers are "nerve dead" and drag over the keyboard, and cause horrific spelling errors and typos, which are incredibly frustrating to deal with.
Unfortunately trying to edit errors myself, just makes the errors worse, because those same two fingers drag over the keyboard yet again. Prior to the golf club attack, I rarely had spelling errors; now I got more spelling errors then someone is learning English as second language. Editing is a challenge, that I've had to accept, I simply can not do myself, and I have to hire several editors to help with that.
Low verbal means sounds can still be made, sounds that software programs like Dragon can be trained to recognize and translate, and type into full words. More then half my novels were typed with this method.
I still have a long ways to go before I am anything close to being able to do the things I could do before the golf club woman beat my baby's brains out and shattered my spine. And you know what's more frustrating then how slow mu medical progression has been? The fact that it's been 13 years and the police and FBI are still coming up at dead ends as to who the woman who murdered my baby was, or why she even did it.
My son's 14th birthday is only a few weeks away, but he didn't even get to live long enough to celebrate his 1st birthday, I don't even know why. And I can't wait to regain my ability to walk again, because regaining my ability to walk, means gaining the ability to go outside and start looking for my son's murderer myself instead of sitting at home trapped in a wheelchair waiting for the police and FBI to to find her. So, writing isn't a big priority for me anymore. I only write now, as a way to exercise my hands, in between relearning to walk.
Never let a disability stop you. Plenty of writers, artists, athletes, do not let either blindness, speech impediments, or limited mobility hold then back from perusing their careers.
Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
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There are no ebook editions as they are already available digitally here on my website.