Congratulations!
You have reached Maine's largest and most trafficked website.
As of February 2021, we are now getting up to 7 MILLION visits per day!
This is the home page of
Maine author, artist, Voodoo Priestess, Gypsy Queen, and art car designer:
EelKat Wendy Christine Allen.
This website started in 1996 and is updated, edited, and added to daily.
As of 2021 it has more than 10,000 pages. However, only around 2,000 pages are indexed by search engines (robot blockers and/or passwords, prevent the rest from being findable by Google/Bing/Yahoo/etc.). Around 8,000 pages can only be accessed by clicking on direct links to them. The links are found on other pages on this site. Confusing? Perhaps. But whenever one of those difficult to find 8,000 pages gets traffic, I know that you are VERY dedicated in reading what I wrote or doing some stalker level digging to reach those search engine inaccessible pages and I'd rather not waste my time writing stuff for uninterested parties, plus it's fascinating to see how deep some people are willing dig to find every last word I wrote.
I published my first novel in 1978. Since than I have published 138 novels, 30 non-fiction books, 2,000+ short stories, a dozen plays, a few comic book scripts for Disney's Uncle Scrooge and Donald Duck comics, a few dozen novellas, and 10,000+ non-fiction articles.
I am asexual and famous for 4 decades of writing 100% sexless stories, laced in extreme blood-gore-and-violence. But in spite of that, in recent years, most people classify me as an Erotica author. I don't know why, as I've never written Erotica or even any sex scenes, and as I am a nun, raised as such from the age of 3, I wouldn't even know how to write sex or Erotica. If you came here looking for sex, BDSM, Erotica, or Dominatrix's, please return to whomever sent you and tell them to burn in Hell where their immoral ass belongs. Also, do tell me their name so I can put a curse on them, so they will never enjoy sex ever again, to punish them for spreading lies about me and connecting my name to anything related to sex at all. I find sex vile and despicable and want no part of your perverse degradation near me.
All of my fiction works are about Alien Elf Wizards who live in Old Orchard Beach, Maine. All of my non-fiction works are about the history of Maine, it's Gypsy Clans, and most especially Old Orchard Beach the town which was settled and founded by my family.
Most of these pages answer reader questions on the worldbuilding, character creating, plotting, writing, editing, and publishing process of my work.
Others are on the history of my people, The Gypsies of Maine, our culture, our lifestyle, our cars, and our religion.
The rest of the pages are daily updates of the terrorist attacks by Maine's White Supremacists on my non-white family, including updates of the FBI investigation of the April 10, 2015 kidnapping and murder of my children.
The bulk of this website is a massive database of how-to articles for anyone looking to write and publish Dark Fantasy & Weird Horror.
Some stuff is indexed. Most stuff isn't. The links below take you to the most popular/most visited pages. Each of them contains more links to more pages. That should get you started.
Enjoy your stay!
Let's answer a reader question, right here in the header:
>>>Wait, I just realized that 2,000 short stories plus 138 novels times minimum 27,000 sales each volume equals to 57 million sales. Have you really sold over 57 million copies of the Quaraun books? Those are Harry Potter and Stephen King level sales figures. I didn't realize you were that big of a best seller!
Yes.
If Stephen King didn't live in Maine, I would be Maine's #1 top selling author.
And there are a lot of local people in Old Orchard Beach, Saco, and Biddeford, Maine kicking themselves right now, as they read this and realize they've been harassing my family, while literally MILLIONS of people around the world have been watching, and before they, these idiot locals, visited this my website, they had no idea, how famous I really was, or how famous they themselves now are for being bullies. You can read the rest here.
Let's answer another...
>>>I have an author web site. How do you get so much traffic? I barely get 200 visits a month.
Answer #1: I started this website in 1996. It's one of the oldest writing how-to web sites on the internet. This web existed BEFORE Google did. This website was online before Yahoo was around. It's that old. We've changed servers and url names several times, but the fact remains, I created/still own not only one of the first writing sites to ever exist, but one of the first websites to EVER be made PERIOD. And when it comes to search engines after 2010's Panda - age of the website trumps EVERYTHING else, keywords and most traditional SEO advice don't mean shit no more.
The fact remains, this website is older than a good 80% of people who use the internet today. It was around before most of today's internet users were even born.
Wait 10 or 12 years. Post daily that entire time, and by than, you'll have traffic like I do too.
Answer #2: I love Avallac'h. I've been a major fan of the Witcher franchise for a very long time, and there are several hundred pages on my website devoted to my screaming fan-girl love gushing for the Witcher franchise, particularly Avallac'h. Many of those pages are more than a decade old. In 2019, my site was getting around 100k views a month. Now in 2021, it's getting 7million views a day. What changed? The full details are on this page, but the quick summary this:
On December 21, 2019, Netflix released the Witcher TV show, and the next day, millions of people rushed to Google to type the search term "nude Netflix Ciri porn photos", because they're a bunch of pedophiles who wanted to search for nude photos of a 12 year old actress. Google sent them: HERE. (Obviously not photos of the actress as this page was created about 5 years before the Netflix series). And literally over night, my site got more traffic in a single hour, than it usually got each year. And within hours, the mass onslaught of hate emails started because you know, Ciri who never read the Witcher novels, didn't know Ciri and Avallac'h had sex in the novels and were horrified to see me use the game to create fan art of exactly that.
| Home | Site Index | Top 100 Pages | Search| About |
| Keywords & Pigeons: Or The Secret To Why I Get 7million Views Per Day and You Don't|
| The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer: Quaraun The Insane |
| Meet Quaraun | Meet BoomFuzzy | Meet GhoulSpawn | FAQs |
| Character motivation for becoming a drug dealer? | How To Stay Motivated To Write |
| Motivations of Super Villains of Organizations That Control The World |
| Age Difference In Marriage: The Fiction VS The Reality | Writing Polygamous and Polyamorous Characters |
|Giving Your Characters Flaws and Goals | Writing Taboos | Travel & World Size Fantasy Worldbuilding |
| Slice of Life Literary Fantasy - Soap Opera Drama of the Fantasy Genre |
| Question Everything Before Putting It In Your World |
| Americans Don't Want Diverse Books | Why Do Americans Hate Black People? (2016 ed.) |
| Writing Christian Characters Accurately To Real World Christians | Writing Prompt Syndrome |
| How long does it take to reach 1667 words? & 50k in one day - is it possible? | How Many Pages Per Day? |
| How to increase word count without making a story boring? | Your Population: World Building Writing Prompts |
| Overactive Reader Imaginations: Seeing Things I Did Not Write|
| Wait, why is Quaraun Rated M If It's Not Erotica and Contains No Sex Scenes? |
| Comparing The Wild Sex Crazed Rumors About Who I Am & What I Write, To Asexual I Actually Am & The Sexless Novels I Actually Write |
| BDSM? Dominatrix? Erotica? Boy Are You In The Wrong Place! |
| Wait, You DON'T Write Sex, But I Thought... | A Look At Twitch's Witch Hunting Culture |
| But Avallac'h... A Look At How Sex Crazed Fans Can Destroy Lives, When They See Sex In Places It Never Was |
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| Who Is Avallac'h? | Ciri or Lara? | | But Ciri is The Chosen One, She's Like Jesus! | | The Avallac'h Playthrough Challenge | |
| Mistakes People Make While Playing Witcher 3| | Why Americans Should NOT Read The Witcher Novels | | How can you like Avallac'h? He's a Polygamist! | |
| How Does a Destitute Homeless Man Get Accused of Being Wealthy?| Twitch Follower vs Viewer Counts |
| I Came Here Looking For Vampire Strippers, But Than I Found Out You Were An Asexual Catholic Nun |
| Can I Visit You? | The Most Bizarre Question I've Ever Been Asked & The Answer You Didn't Want To Hear |
| How Did The FBI Get Involved? | What Is The Mafia Connection? | What Religion Are You? |
| Meet The Scottish Travellers | Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies - The Complete Interviews |
| Amphibious Aliens | Meet The Real Christine: The World's Most Haunted Car |
Dungeons and Dragons:
How To Build An Assassin Player Character
I once did a Gnome (which has a move silently/stealth trait) Mage/Thief build. I was able to cast an invisibility spell on myself, cast a misdirection spell on any guards, then use my stealth step, to get in the room unseen and unheard. Once inside I had my thief skills to allow me to pick locks, pick pockets, etc.
Well, one day, our group found a sleeping Paladin, and I picked his pockets, and got a pair of enchanted daggers. They were called the Daggers of Assassination or something to that effect.
With DM's permission, I triple classed to add Assassin skills.
(Triple classing is unusual and not all DMs allow it, so you'll have to ask before building a triple classed character.)
Usually when you are Multi-Classed, you are Duel Classed, but there is actually no limit to how many classes you can add, provided your DM knows how to calculate the scores for a triple or quad classed character. The instructions for doing so are in the 3 core rules books, but they are listed as advanced options, and many DM's don't use the optional advanced options in game.
The result was a Gnomish Mage-Thief-Assassin, who used magic to get past guards, was able to pick any lock, moved silently, and then "jumped out of nowhere" to kill the target with the Enchanted daggers. (Would jump up behind the person, and stab each dagger through their throat, one to each side of the neck, at the same time.)
Gnomes make great thieves and assassins because of the racial trait of stealth/move silently.
This was AD&D 2ed btw.
I would think a Gnomish Monk would be a good class to use. Monks are close to being Ninjas in D&D and with a Gnome's stealth trait you could move silently. If you double classed a Monk with a Thief, you'd add the sneak skill set a Thief has, which would help increase stealth and move silently. Being able to pick-pockets is a skill that also allows you to get close to a victim to assassinate them as well.
Any time you want to build a silent killer, I'd always add Thief as your double class to get the sneakiness abilities.
What edition are you playing?
Do you have access to the "Pathfinder NPC Codex" book? (Which is 3.5 ed D&D) It has a whole slew of alternate character classes, with all the stats. They are intended as non- player characters, but if you ask your DM, you might be able to get permission to use one of them as your player character? I've got a copy of t around here, I'll go look it up, and see if I can find any other builds for you. I'm pretty sure it had an Assassin section.
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