Terms of Use & Disclaimers

Terms of Use/Terms of Service/ToS:

Terms and conditions for website usage:

Welcome to our website. If you continue to browse and use this website, you are agreeing to comply with and be bound by the following terms and conditions of use, which together with our privacy policy govern EelKat's relationship with you in relation to this website. If you disagree with any part of these terms and conditions, please do not use our website.

The term 'Eelkat' or 'I' or 'me' or 'us' or 'our' or 'we' or 'she' refers to the owner of the website EelKat Wendy Christine Allen.

The Space Dock 13 Network includes The Twighlight Manor Press, Copper Cockeral Cards & Gifts, The Pidgie Fund, The Church of the Holy Rhinestone, The Twighlight Manor Library, The Southern Maine Writers' Group (aka The Short Story Writers of Southern Maine), Xavier's Nest, EK's Star Log, Laughing Gnome Hollow, and The Cheesy Pink Flamingo. The term "Space Dock 13 Network" is used to mean any or all of the above business groups founded and run by EelKat.

The Space Dock 13 Network (now EelKat.com) operates out of a physical office located at 146 Portland Avenue, Suite 458@No Hurry, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, 04064.

The term 'you' refers to you the user or viewer of our website.

The use of this website is subject to the following terms of use:

The content of the pages of this website is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice.

Nothing on this website should be taken to constitute professional advice or a formal recommendation and EelKat hereby excludes all representations and warranties whatsoever (whether implied by law or otherwise) relating to the content and use of this site.

EelKat is not a doctor, lawyer, accountant, or any other kind of professional advisor. Any comments she makes of a medical, legal, financial, or other topic are her opinions only and are not intended as medical, legal, financial, or other advice. If you are in need of medical, legal, financial, or other professional help and counselling, please see your family physician, lawyer, banker, accountant, pastor, or psychiatrist, counselor, therapist, social worker, other professional. 

In no event will EelKat be liable for any incidental, indirect, consequential, punitive or special damages of any kind, or any other damages whatsoever, including, without limitation, those resulting from loss of profit, loss of contracts, loss of reputation, goodwill, data, information, income, anticipated savings or business relationships, whether or not EelKat has been advised of the possibility of such damage, arising out of or in connection with the use of this website or any linked websites.

Neither we nor any third parties provide any warranty or guarantee as to the accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness or suitability of the information and materials found or offered on this website for any particular purpose. You acknowledge that such information and materials may contain inaccuracies or errors and we expressly exclude liability for any such inaccuracies or errors to the fullest extent permitted by law.

We retain the moral rights in, and ownership of, all intellectual property that we create unless agreed otherwise in advance and in triplicate writing on specially designated company letterhead, with our clients. In return we respect the moral and intellectual copyright vested in our clients' intellectual property.

Your use of any information or materials on this website is entirely at your own risk, for which we shall not be liable. It shall be your own responsibility to ensure that any products, services or information available through this website meet your specific requirements.

You may use this site and its services for lawful purposes only. You agree to be financially responsible for all purchases made by you or someone acting on your behalf through this site. You agree to use this site and to purchase services or products through this site for legitimate, non-commercial purposes only. You shall not post or transmit through this site any material which violates or infringes the rights of others, or which is threatening, abusive, defamatory, libelous, invasive of privacy or publicity rights, vulgar, obscene, profane, or otherwise objectionable, contains injurious formulas, recipes, or instructions, which encourages conduct that would constitute a criminal offense, give rise to civil liability, or otherwise violate any law.

This website contains material which is owned by and/or licensed to us. This material includes, but is not limited to, the design, layout, look, appearance and graphics. Reproduction is prohibited other than in accordance with the copyright notice, which forms part of these terms and conditions.

All trade marks reproduced in this website which are not the property of, or licensed to, the operator are acknowledged on the website.

Unauthorised use of this website may give rise to a claim for damages and/or be a criminal offence.

From time to time this website may also include links to other websites. These links are provided for your convenience to provide further information. They do not signify that we endorse the website(s). We have no responsibility for the content of the linked website(s).

Your use of this website and any dispute arising out of such use of the website is subject to the laws of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, United States of America.

Use of Cookies and Web Beacons:

We may use cookies to help you personalize your online experience. Cookies are identifiers that are transferred to your computer's hard drive through your Web browser to enable our systems to recognize your browser. The purpose of a cookie is to tell the Web server that you have returned to a specific page. For example, if you personalize the site's pages (for example: post comments), or register with any of our site's services, a cookie enables EelKat.com to recall your specific information on subsequent visits.

You have the ability to accept or decline cookies by modifying your personal web browser; however, if you choose to decline cookies, you may not be able to fully experience the interactive features of the site.

A web beacon is a transparent image file used to monitor your journey around a single website or collection of sites. They are also referred to as web bugs and are commonly used by sites that hire third-party services to monitor traffic. They may be used in association with cookies to understand how visitors interact with the pages and content on the pages of a web site. 

We may serve third-party advertisements that use cookies and web beacons in the course of ads being served on our web site to ascertain how many times you've seen an advertisement. No personally identifiable information you give us is provided to them for cookie or web beacon use, so they cannot personally identify you with that information on our web site. 

As you browse this website, Google Analytics and advertising cookies will be placed on your computer to collect demographic and interest information, but we do not tie the cookie to any personal information that you provide to us. If you do not wish your data to be collected via Google Analytics, you may use their  opt-out tool...

We use third-party advertising companies to serve ads on our website. These companies use cookies and web beacons in their ads to ascertain how many times you've seen an advertisement. No personally identifiable information you give us is provided to them for cookie or web beacon use, so they cannot personally identify you with that information from our website.

Some third-party advertisements may be provided by Google, which uses the DoubleClick cookie to serve ads. This cookie enables Google to serve ads to users based on their visits to sites on the Web. You may opt out of the use of the DoubleClick cookie by visiting the Google ad and content network privacy policy.

(See our FTC Disclosure Policy for more information on the advertisements used on this site.)

Browsers (Chrome, FireFox, IE, etc.) can be set to accept or reject cookies or notify you when a cookie is being sent. Privacy software can be used to override web beacons. Taking either of these actions shouldn't cause a problem with our site, should you so choose.

Opinion & Content Disclaimer:

Opinion & Content Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on EelKat.com are those of EelKat and do not reflect the official policy or position of anyone else. Any content provided here is EelKat's opinion of the topic at hand, and are not intended to malign any religion, race, gender, ethnic group, club, organization, company, business, government, individual or anyone or anything else.

Nothing on this website should be taken to constitute professional advice or a formal recommendation and EelKat hereby excludes all representations and warranties whatsoever (whether implied by law or otherwise) relating to the content and use of this site.

EelKat is not a doctor, lawyer, accountant, or any other kind of professional advisor. Any comments she makes of a medical, legal, financial, or other topic are her opinions only and are not intended as medical, legal, financial, or other advice. If you are in need of medical, legal, financial, or other professional help and counselling, please see your family physician, lawyer, banker, accountant, pastor,  psychiatrist, counselor, therapist, social worker, or other professional. 

I am a Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, and am trained and authorized to spiritual guidance and counseling in a religious ministry capacity. I am also trained and authorized to perform weddings, funerals, christenings, blessings, and exorcisms.

Code of Ethics

I am a Voodoo Priestess of the rank of Medsen Fey Marija Loa to Damballa Weddo as well as the High Priestess of the Scottish Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Maine and a professional Necromancer for hire.

In other words I am a Card Reader, Conjure Worker, and Hoodoo Rootworker or what White Americans commonly (and incorrectly) refer to as a "Gypsy Fortune Teller" and/or "Voodoo Witch Doctor" or as some Europeans call me "a wizard".

USA Law therefore requires I have a Code of Ethics and Conduct for my practice.

Trust and Credibility

The success of my business is dependent on the trust and confidence I earn from my employees, customers, clients, investors, readers, relatives, family members, or anyone else. I gain credibility by adhering to my commitments, displaying honesty and integrity and reaching company goals solely through honorable conduct. It is easy to say what I must do, but the proof is in my actions. Ultimately, I will be judged on what I do.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I conduct all of my activities professionally and with integrity. I take great care to be completely objective in my judgement and any recommendations that I give, so that issues are never influenced by anything other than the best and proper interests of my clients.

When considering any action, it is wise to ask: will this build trust and credibility for EelKat and The Space Dock 13 Network? Will it help create a working environment in which I, as an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, can succeed over the long term? Is the commitment I am making one I can follow through with? The only way I will maximize trust and credibility is by answering “yes” to those questions and by working everyday to build my trust and credibility.

 Respect for the Individual

We all deserve to work in an environment where I am treated with dignity and respect. As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I am committed to creating such an environment because it brings out the full potential in each of us, which, in turn, contributes directly to my business success. I cannot afford to let anyone’s talents go to waste.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I am committed to providing a workplace that is free of discrimination of all types from abusive, offensive or harassing behavior. Any employee, customer, client, investor, reader, relative, family member, or anyone else who feels harassed or discriminated against should report the incident to EelKat and The Space Dock 13 Network through the human resources department.

Create a Culture of Open and Honest Communication

At The Space Dock 13 Network everyone should feel comfortable to speak his or her mind, particularly with respect to ethics concerns. Managers have a responsibility to create an open and supportive environment where employees, customers, clients, investors, readers, relatives, family members, or anyone else feel comfortable raising such questions. We all benefit tremendously when employees, customers, clients, investors, readers, relatives, family members, or anyone else exercise their power to prevent mistakes or wrongdoing by asking the right questions at the right times.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I will investigate all reported instances of questionable or unethical behavior. In every instance where improper behavior is found to have occurred, the company will take appropriate action. I will not tolerate retaliation against employees, customers, clients, investors, readers, relatives, family members, or anyone else who raise genuine ethics concerns in good faith.

For your information, The Space Dock 13 Network’s whistleblower policy is as follows:

Employees, customers, clients, investors, readers, relatives, family members, or anyone else are encouraged, in the first instance, to address such issues with their managers or the HR manager, as most problems can be resolved swiftly. If for any reason that is not possible or if an employee, customer, client, investor, reader, relative, family member, or anyone else is not comfortable raising the issue with his or her manager or HR, as an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I run The Twighlight Manor Press, The Church of the Holy Rhinestone, and Laughing Gnome Hollow and the rest of The Space Dock 13 Network, with an open-door policy and they can come directly to me with this issue.

Set Tone at the Top

Management has the added responsibility for demonstrating, through their actions, the importance of this Code. In any business, ethical behavior does not simply happen; it is the product of clear and direct communication of behavioral expectations, modeled from the top and demonstrated by example. Again, ultimately, my actions are what matters.

To make this Code work, managers must be responsible for promptly addressing ethical questions or concerns raised by employees, customers, clients, investors, readers, relatives, family members, or anyone else and for taking the appropriate steps to deal with such issues. Managers should not consider employees, customers, clients, investors, readers, relatives, family members, or anyone else’ ethics concerns as threats or challenges to their authority, but rather as another encouraged form of business communication. At The Space Dock 13 Network, I want the ethics dialogue to become a natural part of daily work.

Uphold the Law

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker working out of the State of Maine in the United States of America, I abide by State and National laws and thus my commitment to integrity begins with complying with laws, rules and regulations where I do business. Further, each of me must have an understanding of the company policies, laws, rules and regulations that apply to my specific roles. If I am unsure of whether a contemplated action is permitted by law or The Space Dock 13 Network policy, I strive to seek the advice from the resource expert. I am responsible for preventing violations of law and for speaking up if I see possible violations.

Because of the nature of my business (religious, spiritual, occult, and magic arts), some legal requirements warrant specific mention here.

Ethics

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I always conduct my own services honestly and honourably, and expect my clients and suppliers to do the same. My advice, strategic assistance and the methods imparted through my training, take proper account of ethical considerations, together with the protection and enhancement of the moral position of my clients and suppliers.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker working out of the State of Maine in the United States of America, I abide by State and National laws and thus I will become aware of the laws of the county, state, province, or nation in which I am practicing religious leadership and magic arts. I strive to conform to those laws in my practice as an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker.

Obeying the law, both in letter and in spirit, is the foundation on which my ethical standards are built. In conducting of any business, I shall comply with applicable governmental laws, rules and regulations at all levels of government in the United States and in any non-U.S. jurisdiction in which I do business. Although I am not expected to know the details of these laws, it is important to know enough about the applicable local, state and national laws to determine when to seek advice from local authorities, lawmakers, court houses, code enforcement officers, supervisors, town managers or any other appropriate personnel. 

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I dedicate myself to providing compassionate and competent services. Within the scope of my knowledge, training, and experience, Il serve all my clients to the best of my abilities, regardless of their race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, or country of national origin.

IT IS THE POLICY OF MY BUSINESS NOT TO DISCRIMINATE AGAINST EMPLOYEES, CLIENTS, READERS, SHAREHOLDERS, DIRECTORS, CUSTOMERS OR SUPPLIERS ON ACCOUNT OF RACE, COLOR, AGE, SEX, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, LIFESTYLE, RELIGION, GENDER IDENTITY, CULTURE, ETHNICITY, POLITICAL PARTY, OR NATIONAL ORIGIN EXCEPT AS MAY BE REQUIRED BY APPLICABLE LAW. ALL OF SUCH PERSONS SHALL BE TREATED WITH DIGNITY AND RESPECT AND THEY SHALL NOT BE UNREASONABLY INTERFERED WITH IN THE CONDUCT OF THEIR DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker working out of the State of Maine in the United States of America, I abide by State and National laws and thus  in accordance with Maine State Law, I do not provide my services to anyone under the age of 18.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker working out of the State of Maine in the United States of America, I abide by State and National laws and thus in accordance with Maine State Law, all magical & spiritual services provided and products offered are sold as curios for entertainment purposes only; I make no claims for their efficacy. There is no guarantee with any service I offer, as there are no guarantees with magic, spirits, or Fae.  

No state in America allows any spiritual practitioner or magic user to guarantees results and any practitioner to does should ever be trusted as they are not working in accordance with the law. My services come only with the promise that they will be performed to the best of my ability, but I can not make any promises regarding the actual end results.  All purchases of a spiritual or magical nature are Non-Refundable.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I strive represent myself to the public with a standard of professionalism. I am be honest and upright in my dealings with clients and colleagues, even though many find my blunt, brutal honesty to be rude and cold-hearted. I have Autism, you came to the wrong place if you were seeking someone who only tells you want you want to hear. I encourage others to maintain this standard.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker working out of the State of Maine in the United States of America, I abide by State and National laws and thus I will respect the personal rights of my clients, colleagues, and other professionals. I will safeguard the privacy of my clients and I will not slander, misrepresent, or make comparisons in a negative manner toward my competitors, colleagues, or fellow religious leaders and magic workers. I strive to maintain the highest standards of decency, fairness and integrity in all operations. Likewise, I am dedicated to protecting my readers', clients', customers', consumers' and online visitors' privacy.

HOWEVER: You give up that right the moment you cross the line and take part in harassment, bullying, defamation, libel, and slander. If you are a bully, your information WILL be made public. I have a ZERO TOLERANCE for bullies policy.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker working out of the State of Maine in the United States of America, I abide by State and National laws and thus I will continue to study, apply, and advance my knowledge and understanding of divination, Voodoo, Conjure Worker, Necromancy, Faerie Faith,  Hoodoo Rootwork and related fields. I ever strive to become more proficient in my practices in order to better serve my clients.

Please remember that I am not a Psychic nor a Fortune Teller, if you are confused about that, please take the time to buy a dictionary and read it. Learn what words mean before you start calling me something I am not. Gypsy is a RACE not a career or lifestyle. Psychic readings and fortune tellings are a Romani tradition, not a Gypsy tradition.

Gypsies are NOT Romani.

Romani are NOT Gypsies.

Gypsies are of Persian/ Iran descent and settled first in Scotland and later in Egypt (thus the name Gypsy). Romani are of Indian descent and settled in Spain. Travellers are of Italian descent and settled in Ireland.

The Gypsies descended from Persian Magi (yes, the Wise Men of the Bible), thus the tradition of magic arts. There are many magic arts practiced by Gypsies. Psychic readings and fortune tellings are only two of the many hundreds of types of magic arts practiced by Gypsies. Most Gypsies DO NOT practice magic and it is HIGHLY UNUSUAL to find a REAL Gypsy with real Gypsy DNA who does either psychic readings or fortune tellings.

If someone is claiming to be a Gypsy and either a psychic or fortune teller, beware and steer clear, they are likely scam artists. Psychic readings and fortune tellings are Romani traditions, not Gypsy traditions. No REAL Romani will ever call themselves a Gypsy and no REAL Gypsy will ever practice Romany magic arts. No psychic or fortune teller who claims to be a "Gypsy" should ever be trusted.

I am not a Romani, I m a Gypsy, and therefor I do not practice Romani traditions. 

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, when a client's requirements are outside my scope of spiritual practice or area of specialization, I will notify him or her of such. If possible, I will recommend another practitioner with qualifications in that area of spiritual practice or specialization.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker working out of the State of Maine in the United States of America, I abide by State and National laws and thus if I believe that a client may be in need of mental health evaluation or care, medical examination or treatment, or legal advice or services, I will refer her or him to a qualified professional or agency. If necessary I will postpone my services until I am assured that he or she is receiving competent mental health, medical, or legal services.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker working out of the State of Maine in the United States of America, I abide by State and National laws and thus I will not misrepresent myself or my services while advertising. I will not make promises, guarantees, or claims of results that are false in order to increase interest in my advertisements.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker working out of the State of Maine in the United States of America, I abide by State and National laws and thus I will not attempt to conceal my contact methods from the public. In addition to a contact name, my advertising materials will contain at least one of the following valid contact methods: telephone number, email address, and/ or street address. Keep in mind that I have Autism and do not talk, thus do not own a phone.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker I do not engage in identity theft, plagiarism, or copyright violations. I will not substitute the photograph or image of another person to represent myself, nor will I publish photographs or texts describing the spiritual works of another person to represent them as my own.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I do not charge more than agreed upon with each client. There are no "hidden fees" or "add-ons" after a stated price is agreed upon for the reading or the conjure work to be performed.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I expediently assist clients whose cases I accept. To better serve my clients, I do not keep set business hours. Consultations are by appointment only. Please note that I am located in the Eastern Time Zone in Old Orchard Beach, Maine, United States of America. I appreciate your taking any time differences into consideration when you contact me.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker working out of the State of Maine in the United States of America, I abide by State and National laws and thus I do not claim that my spell-casting efforts will succeed "100%" or "in 24 hours" nor make any "guarantees."

In the event that obstacles are encountered in my work, I inform my clients honestly and I set reasonable limitations on how long the work can be expected to proceed before the case is considered to be intractable. 

In accordance with Maine State Law, all magical & spiritual services provided and products offered are sold as curios for entertainment purposes only; I make no claims for their efficacy. There is no guarantee with any service I offer, as there are no guarantees with magic, spirits, or Fae.  No spiritual practitioner or magic user who guarantees results should ever be trusted. 

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker working out of the State of Maine in the United States of America, I abide by State and National laws and thus my services come only with the promise that they will be performed to the best of my ability, as I can not legally make any promises regarding the actual end results.  All purchases of a spiritual or magical nature are Non-Refundable.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I do not take financial or social advantage of clients with perceived psychological, medical, or legal problems. Whenever possible, I suggest appropriate and practical medical, financial, psychological, legal, and social services to my clients. I do not attempt to convince a client to renounce or refuse appropriate medical, legal, social, or other professional services. 

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I do not engage in any activities harmful to my clients, including but not limited to financial fraud, psychological abuse, domination, sexual seduction, molestation, personal deception, or unscrupulous magical manipulations of my clients.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I do not provide advice of a legal, financial, or medical nature. I do not supply advice which is beyond my areas of actual training and competence, or for which I am not legally licensed or accredited.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I do not harass or abuse clients or other magic users, spirit workers, or practitioners of the occult. No matter what differences of opinion may arise, I do not engage my clients in disrespectful, aggressive, mean-spirited, unwantedly sexual, revengeful, or malevolent communications or behaviour. I do however, have no respect for bigots, racists, pedophiles, rapists, child-abusers, and hate-mongers and will refuse services to anyone displaying these qualities.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker working out of the State of Maine in the United States of America, I abide by State and National laws and thus I do not require that my clients be exposed to dangerous chemicals or hazardous situations. While engaged in conjure services and magic rites, I do not expose clients to hazards such as liquid Mercury, nor do I urge clients to expose themselves to peril in the procurement of unusual magical objects and substances.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker working out of the State of Maine in the United States of America, I abide by State and National laws and thus  I do not traffic in rare and endangered species of animals or plants. I refuse client requests to procure materials on the CITES list, or items that are illegal to collect or possess.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I do not engage in animal cruelty or animal torture. I refuse client requests to engage in animal cruelty, animal sacrifice, or animal torture. I am a vegan, animal rights activist, and do not use any meat or animal products at all in anything. (I am a Scottish Gypsy and a Kickapoo Indian. When performing rituals, I do wear antique fur/ sacred animal skin robes that have been passed down for generations.)

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I go to great lengths to keep my commitments. Promise-keeping is very important to me. I will not make promises that can't be kept and I will not make promises on behalf of the Company unless I have the authority to do so.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I create and follow a process and achieve fair outcomes that a reasonable person would call just, evenhanded and nonarbitrary. I put high priority on fairness and karma. What goes around comes around, as you do unto me, so shall it be done unto you. It is why by this principal, I live by a strict guideline on non-violence and turn the other cheeck, which may seem contradictory to the retaliation policy I maintain, but actually it is not. The retaliation policy, uses a spell casting method which takes all your harmful thoughts, deeds, and actions and simply mirrors them back on you. It is a protection spell cast on me. Thus everything you do, say, or think to and/  or about me, has no effect on me and bounces off of me back onto you. All harm you intend to do to me, simply reflects back to it's sender to harm the sender via backfiring in their face.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I am open and direct in my communication, and receptive to influence. I will honor and value the abilities and contributions of others, embracing the responsibility and accountability for my actions in this regard. Being a person of many "non-conforming differences" I have been bullied, teased, belittled, beaten, and hospitalized for my differences, and have learned to have both a deep respect for all differences in others and deep hatred for bullies on all levels. 

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I maintain an awareness of the needs of others and act to meet those needs whenever possible. I will also minimize harm whenever possible. I work with compassion in all things, my goal always being to harm none and maintain peace at all times. I will act in ways that are consistent with my commitment to social responsibility.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I take honesty to be a value of extreme importance. I have Autism and it is absolutely beyond me to comprehend how or why Americans justify the use of "only a little white lie". A lie no matter how small or pale is still a lie and therefore is an act of sin and all sin is evil and to be avoided at all costs. The American propensity for lying astounds me. I have absolutely zero tolerance for any one who tells a lie on any level, no matter how small of any color, not matter how white. Liars are evil and are not welcomed in my establishment. I will not say things that are false. I will never deliberately mislead. I am always candid, openly and freely sharing information, as appropriate to the relationship. If it needs being said, I'm going to say and I don't care how much you want to bitch and moan: three things can not be hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth, and I will speak the truth in all things, I don't care if it does get you in trouble. If you are doing something you can get in trouble for, then you deserve to be punished. I will not protect you in your lies. If you come to me asking for "love spells" to help you cheat on a spouse, I WILL contact your spouse and inform them. If you try to break up a couple with magic, I WILL contact the couple. Why? Because you are not being honest with them or yourself, and you need to stop hiding behind a lie and step forward with the truth. Always speak the truth and you never have to worry about remembering the lie.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I shall act in good faith, responsibly, with due care, competence, and diligence.  

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I shall not knowingly or recklessly misrepresent material facts or allow their independent judgment to be subordinated.

 Competition

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I am dedicated to ethical, fair and vigorous competition. I will sell my Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker products and services based on their merit, superior quality, functionality and competitive pricing.

I will make independent pricing and marketing decisions and will not improperly cooperate or coordinate my activities with my competitors. I will not offer or solicit improper payments or gratuities in connection with the purchase of goods or services for the sales of my products or services, nor will I engage or assist in unlawful boycotts of particular customers.

Of course, I do have Autism and I lack the mental ability to make any attempt to compete with others. I do not understand the non-Autistic mindset of needing to compete with others. The entire concept of competition baffles and confuses me greatly. I find the acting of competing with others to be one of the most mind-boggling activities practiced by the non-Autistic community.

Proprietary & Confidential Information

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I believe that it is important that I respect the property rights of others. I will not acquire or seek to acquire improper means of a competitor’s trade secrets or other proprietary or confidential information. I will not engage in unauthorized use, copying, distribution or alteration of software or any other intellectual property.

Integral to my and The Space Dock 13 Network’s business success is my protection of confidential company information, trade secrets, and so forth, as well as nonpublic information entrusted to me by employees, customers and other business partners. Confidential and proprietary information includes such things as pricing and financial data, customer names/ addresses or nonpublic information about other companies, including current or potential supplier and vendors. I will not disclose confidential and nonpublic information without a valid business purpose and proper authorization.

I do not disclose any confidential or proprietary information about the company to persons outside the company without prior authorization of senior management unless such disclosure is legally mandated. “Persons outside the company” include family, friends, vendors, customers, competitors or the news media.

Confidential information includes, but is not limited to:

• Business and store location plans

• Strategic plans

• Sales and financial data and reports

• Forecasts

• Products and pricing

• Identity of associates, vendors and customers

• Information contained in memoranda, reports, analyses, lists, schedules or electronic communications and all other documents prepared for internal use

• Information obtained in meetings and discussions whether or not in writing

• Information regarding internal systems and procedures

• Information pertaining to any company or individual with whom EelKat does business

• Size or terms of purchase orders

• Information about customer purchases

• Merchandise assortments

• Store rankings

• Personnel and performance records

• Build-out plans

• Salary and employment information or any other information or materials designated by EelKat as proprietary or confidential

• Information pertaining to any lawsuits or government actions or investigations involving the company

• Information concerning any company investigation or audit, internal or otherwise

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I will not selectively disclose (whether in one-on-one or small discussions, meetings, presentations, proposals or otherwise) any material nonpublic information with respect to my Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker practice and methods, its securities, business operations, plans, financial condition, results of operations or any development plan. I strive to be particularly vigilant when making presentations or proposals to customers to ensure that my presentations do not contain material nonpublic information.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I shall act in good faith, with due care, and shall engage only in fair and open competition, by treating ethically competitors, suppliers, customers, and colleagues. Stealing proprietary information, possessing trade secret information that was obtained without the owner's consent, or intentionally inducing such disclosures by past or present employees of other companies is prohibited. I will never take unfair advantage of anyone through manipulation, concealment, abuse of privileged information, misrepresentation of material facts, or any other unfair practice.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I am committed to maintaining the highest degree of integrity in all my dealings with potential, current and past clients, both in terms of normal commercial confidentiality, and the protection of all personal information received in the course of providing the business services concerned. I extend the same standards to all my customers, suppliers and associates.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I shall respect the confidentiality of information acquired in the course of their employment except when authorized or otherwise legally obligated to disclose such information.  I shall not use for personal advantage confidential information acquired in the course of their employment.

EelKat and The Space Dock 13 Network strives to maintain the highest standards of decency, fairness and integrity in all my operations. Likewise, I am dedicated to protecting my readers, customers', consumers' and online visitors' privacy on my website. HOWEVER: You give up that right the moment you cross the line and take part in harassment, bullying, defamation, libel, and slander. If you are a bully, your information WILL be made public.

Never forget that I am a Voodoo Priestess and the Holy woman of the Scottish Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Maine. I do and will cast hotfooting mirror-box spells to send all your bad will and ill thoughts back upon you and your family seven fold. No ill intent sent my way ever reaches me, and always returns back on the sender. I am protected. 

If you do not agree to the EelKat.com Terms of Use and Privacy Policy as posted here on this website, please do not use this site or any services offered by this site, nor make any mention of my name, at any time or any place, online or offline, written, typed, or verbal.

Your use of this site, my products, and/  or my services indicates acceptance of this retaliation policy and terms of service.

If you say anything about me online or offline, written or verbal, on paper or on a blog, in a forum or in an email, any mention of my name anywhere in any form, that too indicates your acceptance of this policy and terms of service.

Health, Safety, and Duty of Care

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, my actions and advice will always conform to relevant law, and I believe that all businesses and organizations, including this consultancy, should avoid causing any adverse effect on the human rights of people in the organizations I deal with, the local and wider environments, and the well-being of society at large.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I strive to ensure that The Space Dock 13 Network is dedicated to maintaining a healthy environment.

Conflicts of Interest

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I feel that it is highly important that I must avoid any relationship or activity that might impair, or even appear to impair, my ability to make objective and fair decisions when performing my jobs. At times, I may be faced with situations where the business actions I take on behalf of EelKat and The Space Dock 13 Network may conflict with my own personal or family interests. I owe a duty to EelKat and/  or The Space Dock 13 Network's to advance its legitimate interests when the opportunity to do so arises. I must never use EelKat's and The Space Dock 13 Network property or information for personal gain or personally take for ourselves any opportunity that is discovered through you position, affiliation, and/  or connection with EelKat and The Space Dock 13 Network.

Due to the sensitive nature of my particular consultancy services, I will not provide a service to a direct competitor of a client, and I generally try to avoid any dealings with competitor companies even after the cessation of services to a client.

Here are some other ways in which conflicts of interest could arise:

1. Being employed (you or a close family member) by, or acting as a consultant to, a competitor or potential competitor, supplier or contractor, regardless of the nature of the employment, while you are employed with or a client of EelKat and/  or The Space Dock 13 Network.

2. Hiring or supervising family members or closely related persons.

3. Serving as a board member for an outside commercial company or organization.

4. Owning or having a substantial interest in a competitor, supplier or contractor.

5. Having a personal interest, financial interest or potential gain in any transaction.

6. Accepting gifts, discounts, favors or services from a customer/  potential customer, competitor or supplier, unless equally available to all of The Space Dock 13 Network employees.

Determining whether a conflict of interest exists is not always easy to do. Employees, customers, clients, investors, readers, relatives, family members, or anyone else with a conflict of interest question should seek advice from EelKat. Before engaging in any activity, transaction or relationship that might give rise to a conflict of interest, employees, customers, clients, investors, readers, relatives, family members, or anyone else must seek review.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I shall act with honesty and integrity.  And I shall avoid all actual or apparent conflicts of interest between personal and professional relationships and shall disclose to the audit committee of the board of directors any material transaction or relationship that reasonably could be expected to give rise to such conflict.

Gifts, Gratuities and Business Courtesies

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I am committed to competing solely on a merit of my products and services. I strive to avoid any actions that create a perception that favorable treatment of outside entities by EelKat and The Space Dock 13 Network was sought, received or given in exchange for personal business courtesies. Business courtesies include gifts, gratuities, meals, refreshments, entertainment or other benefits from persons or companies with whom EelKat and The Space Dock 13 Network does or may do business. I will neither give nor accept business courtesies that constitute, or could reasonably be perceived as constituting, unfair business inducements that would violate law, regulation or polices of EelKat and The Space Dock 13 Network or customers, or would cause embarrassment or reflect negatively on EelKat and The Space Dock 13 Network’s reputation.

Most business courtesies offered to me in the course of my career are offered because of my position as a Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I strive to not feel any entitlement to accept and keep a business courtesy. Although I may not use my position as a  Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker to obtain business courtesies, and I must never ask for them, I may accept unsolicited business courtesies that promote successful working relationships and good will with the firms that EelKat and The Space Dock 13 Network maintains or may establish a business relationship with.

Employees, customers, clients, investors, readers, relatives, family members, or anyone else who award contracts or who can influence the allocation of business, who create specifications that result in the placement of business or who participate in negotiation of contracts must be particularly careful to avoid actions that create the appearance of favoritism or that may adversely affect the company’s reputation for impartiality and fair dealing. The prudent course is to refuse a courtesy from a supplier when EelKat and The Space Dock 13 Network is involved in choosing or reconfirming a supplier or under circumstances that would create an impression that offering courtesies is the way to obtain EelKat's and/  or The Space Dock 13 Network's business.

Any business that has to be won by providing unusual gifts or hospitality is business we don’t want.

In exceptional circumstances (e.g. local culture, traditions), I will accept non-nominal gifts if refusal would reasonably cause embarrassment or hurt to the individual offering it and then seek advise of its receipt so that an appropriate course of action may be determined.

Meals, Refreshments and Entertainment

The purpose of business entertainment and gifts in a commercial setting is to create goodwill and sound working relationships, not to gain unfair advantage with customers, suppliers or service providers. No gift or entertainment should ever be offered or accepted by me or any family member of mine unless it (1) is consistent with customary business practices, (2) is not excessive in value, (3) cannot be construed as a bribe or payoff and (4) does not violate any laws or regulations. The offer or acceptance of cash gifts by any person is prohibited. 

I may accept occasional meals, refreshments, entertainment and similar business courtesies that are shared with the person who has offered to pay for the meal or entertainment, provided that:

• They are not inappropriately lavish or excessive.

• The courtesies are not frequent and do not reflect a pattern of frequent acceptance of courtesies from the same person or entity.

• The courtesy does not create the appearance of an attempt to influence business decisions, such as accepting courtesies or entertainment from a supplier whose contract is expiring in the near future.

• The employee, customer, client, investor, reader, relative, family member, or anyone else accepting the business courtesy would not feel uncomfortable discussing the courtesy with his or her manager or co-worker or having the courtesies known by the public.

 Gifts

Employees may accept unsolicited gifts, other than money, that conform to the reasonable ethical practices of the marketplace, including:

• Flowers, fruit baskets and other modest presents that commemorate a special occasion.

• Gifts of nominal value, such as calendars, pens, mugs, caps and t-shirts (or other novelty, advertising or promotional items).

Generally, employees, customers, clients, investors, readers, relatives, family members, or anyone else may not accept compensation, honoraria or money of any amount from entities with whom EelKat and/  or The Space Dock 13 Network does or may do business. Tangible gifts (including tickets to a sporting or entertainment event) that have a market value greater than $100 may not be accepted unless approval is obtained from management.

Employees, customers, clients, investors, readers, relatives, family members, or anyone else with questions about accepting business courtesies should talk to EelKat.

 Offering Business Courtesies

Any employee, customer, client, investor, reader, relative, family member, or anyone else who offers a business courtesy must assure that it cannot reasonably be interpreted as an attempt to gain an unfair business advantage or otherwise reflect negatively upon EelKat and/  or The Space Dock 13 Network. An employee, customer, client, investor, reader, relative, family member, or anyone else may never use personal funds or resources to do something that cannot be done with EelKat's and/  or The Space Dock 13 Network's resources. Accounting for business courtesies must be done in accordance with approved company procedures.

Other than to my government customers, for whom special rules apply, I may provide nonmonetary gifts (i.e., company logo apparel or similar promotional items) to my customers. Further, management may approve other courtesies, including meals, refreshments or entertainment of reasonable value, provided that:

• The practice does not violate any law or regulation or the standards of conduct of the recipient’s organization.

• The business courtesy is consistent with industry practice, is infrequent in nature and is not lavish.

• The business courtesy is properly reflected on the books and records of EelKat, The Twighlight Manor Press, Copper Cockeral Cards & Gifts, The Pidgie Fund, Laughing Gnome Hollow, The Church of the Holy Rhinestone, and the rest of the Space Dock 13 Network.

Contracts

My contract will usually be in the form of a detailed proposal, including aims, activities, costs, timescales and deliverables. The quality of my service and the value of my support provide the only true basis for continuity. I always try to meet my clients' contractual requirements, and particularly for situations where an external funding provider requires more official parameters and controls.

Fees

My fees are always competitive for what I provide, which is a high quality, tailored, specialised service. As such I do not generally offer arbitrary discounts; generally a reduction in price is only enabled by reducing the level or extent of services to be delivered. That said, I always try to propose solutions which accommodate my clients' available budgets and timescales. Wherever possible I agree my fees and basis of charges clearly in advance, so that I and my clients can plan reliably for what lies ahead, and how it is to be achieved and financially justified.

Promote Substance Over Form

At times, we are all faced with decisions we would rather not have to make and issues we would prefer to avoid. As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker,  I must have the courage to tackle the tough decisions and make difficult choices, secure in the knowledge that I and The Space Dock 13 Network are committed to doing the right thing. At times this will mean doing more than simply what the law requires. Merely because I can pursue a course of action does not mean I should do so.

Although EelKat and The Space Dock 13 Network’s guiding principles cannot address every issue or provide answers to every dilemma, they can define the spirit in which I intend to do business and should guide me in my daily conduct.

Accountability

Each of us is responsible for knowing and adhering to the values and standards set forth in this Code and for raising questions if you are uncertain about company policy. If you are concerned whether the standards are being met or are aware of violations of the Code, you must contact the HR department.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I take very seriously the standards set forth in this Code, and violations are cause for disciplinary action up to and including termination of employment.

Use of Company Resources

Company resources, including time, material, equipment and information, are provided for company business use. Nonetheless, occasional personal use is permissible as long as it does not affect job performance or cause a disruption to the workplace.

Employees, customers, clients, investors, readers, relatives, family members, or anyone else who CLAIMS to represent EelKat and/ or The Space Dock 13 Network are trusted to behave responsibly and use good judgment to conserve company resources. Managers are responsible for the resources assigned to their departments and are empowered to resolve issues concerning their proper use.

I will not use company equipment such as computers, copiers and fax machines in the conduct of an outside business or in support of any religious, political or other outside daily activity, except for company-requested support to nonprofit organizations. I will not solicit contributions nor distribute non-work related materials during work hours. Note that as this is largely a religious operation, any use of business equipment for use in connection with OTHER religious organizations is a conflict of interests. 

In order to protect the interests of The Space Dock 13 Network, EelKat and/  or The Space Dock 13 Network reserves the right to monitor or review all data and information contained on an employee’s company-issued computer or electronic device, the use of the Internet. I will not tolerate the use of company resources to create, access, store, print, solicit or send any materials that are harassing, threatening, abusive, sexually explicit or otherwise offensive or inappropriate.

Questions about the proper use of company resources should be directed to EelKat.

Government Relations

It is EelKat's policy to comply fully with all applicable laws and regulations governing contact and dealings with government employees and public officials, and to adhere to high ethical, moral and legal standards of business conduct. This policy includes strict compliance with all local, state, federal, foreign and other applicable laws, rules and regulations. As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I shall endeavor to faithfully comply with all laws, rules and regulations of federal, state, and local governments, and all applicable private or public regulatory agencies.

Due to the sensitive nature of my particular consultancy services, especially the practice of Necromancy and it's use of cemeteries and graveyard dirt, I am extra careful to get all proper permissions from said said cemeteries and living relations of the dead. There are four private cemeteries located on my farm. All persons buried there are my ancestors. I do most of my work with these graves as I am the caretaker of the graves. When working with public cemeteries or private cemeteries owned by others I always gain proper permits and permissions from owners, families, and local authorities, prior to performing and spell-casting, grave collecting, or rituals.

As an ethical Voodoo Priestess, Card Reader, Conjure Worker, Necromancer, Faerie Faith Practitioner, and Hoodoo Rootworker, I shall not make payment to a domestic or foreign government official in order to obtain favored treatment with respect to the company’s business.

Political Contributions

EelKat and The Space Dock 13 Network encourages participation in the political process by its employees, customers, clients, investors, readers, relatives, family members, or anyone else. The United States federal government, some states and some other countries have, however, enacted Laws regulating campaign contributions in order to limit the political influence of certain types of contributors, such as corporations, religious leaders, and non-American political leaders. This Policy sets forth certain rules regarding Company and Employee contributions to political candidates and participation in political campaigns.

1. EelKat and The Space Dock 13 Network will comply with applicable Laws regulating political influence and campaign contributions.

2. EelKat and The Space Dock 13 Network believes strongly in the democratic political process and that its employees, clients, readers, relatives, family members, or anyone else should take an active interest in fostering principles of good government in the nations, states and communities in which they live. Any employee, client, reader, relative, family member, or anyone else may spend their own time and funds supporting political candidates and issues but they will not be reimbursed by EelKat and/  or The Space Dock 13 Network in any way for such time or their funds used for political contributions. Each employee, client, reader, relative, family member, or anyone else is urged to be sure that their personal political contributions and activities are in compliance with applicable Law. For example, persons who are not United States citizens are not permitted to make political contributions to candidates in federal, state or local elections in the United States. Other countries also have Laws regulating political contributions.

3. No employee, client, reader, relative, family member, or anyone else shall apply any pressure, direct or implied, on any other Employee that infringes upon an individual’s right to decide whether, to whom and in what amount a personal political contribution is to be made.

4. Any employee, client, reader, relative, family member, or anyone else who CLAIMS to represent EelKat and/  or The Space Dock 13 Network in political and governmental matters must comply with all Laws that regulate corporate participation in public affairs. (NOTE: That I NEVER have anyone represent me, and anyone one claiming to be speaking on my behalf, is NOT doing so with my consent or permission.) Under various statutes, certain conduct, which is permitted and encouraged for individuals, is prohibited on the part of corporations. It is EelKat and The Space Dock 13 Network’s policy to comply fully with these prohibitions.

5. Because EelKat is an ordained minister, EelKat and The Space Dock 13 Network is legally prohibited from contributing directly or indirectly in support of political candidates for elective federal office in the United States and is similarly prohibited from making such contributions in certain states and other countries. Indirect expenditures on behalf of a candidate, such as travel on Company aircraft, may be considered as contributions in this regard.

6. Because EelKat is Clan Chieftain (aka Gypsy Queen) of a Sovereign Nation which exists on American soil, EelKat and The Space Dock 13 Network is legally prohibited from contributing directly or indirectly in support of political candidates for elective federal office in the United States and is similarly prohibited from making such contributions in certain states and other countries. Indirect expenditures on behalf of a candidate, such as travel on Company aircraft, may be considered as contributions in this regard. 

7. No political contribution of Company funds, property or services can be made by EelKat and/  or The Space Dock 13 Network, or in the name of EelKat and/  or The Space Dock 13 Network, except in accordance with a plan approved by EelKat. Such approval is subject to assurance by the Law Department that such contribution is legal and proper under applicable Laws and regulations.

8. When permitted by Law and authorized by EelKat, Company funds and facilities may be used to provide the needed administrative support for the operation of Political Action Committees or political action programs, the purposes of which include the disbursement of financial contributions made by certain employees, customers, clients, investors, readers, relatives, family members, and/ or others to political parties or candidates. No Company funds, facilities or other property will be used for other than administrative support of such a committee.

9. When permitted by Law, and authorized by EelKat, expenditures of Company funds may be made to inform or influence the voting public on an issue of importance to the business of EelKat and/ or The Space Dock 13 Network and its affiliates.

If an employee, client, reader, relative, family member, or anyone else is requested to make a political contribution or to provide assistance on behalf of EelKat and/ or The Space Dock 13 Network, whether personal or corporate, and such employee, client, reader, relative, family member, or anyone else has any questions regarding this Policy or applicable Law, the employee, client, reader, relative, family member, or anyone else should consult with EelKat via Government Relations and/ or the Law Department.

Media Inquiries

EelKat and The Space Dock 13 Network is a high-profile personality and company in my community of York County, Maine, and from time to time, employees, customers, clients, investors, readers, relatives, family members, or anyone else may be (and often are) approached by reporters and other members of the media. In order to ensure that I speak with one voice and provide accurate information about myself and my company, products and services, I DO NOT ALLOW any employees, customers, clients, investors, readers, relatives, family members, or anyone else  to speak for me  or my company. If you are approached by any media you should direct all media inquiries to me, EelKat, directly. No one may issue a press release on my behalf, for any reason, at all, EVER.

NOTE: That I NEVER have anyone represent me, and anyone one claiming to be speaking on my behalf, is NOT doing so with my consent or permission.

CTR: Choose The Right

We must all work together to ensure prompt and consistent action against violations of this Code. In some situations, however, it is difficult to know if a violation has occurred. Because we cannot anticipate every situation that will arise, it is important that we have a way to approach a new question or problem. These are the steps to keep in mind:

Make sure you have all the facts. In order to reach the right solutions, we must be as informed as possible. Never ASSUME for it makes an ASS out of U and ME.

Clarify your responsibility and role. In most situations, there is shared responsibility. Are your colleagues informed? It may help to get others involved and discuss the problem.

Discuss the problem with your supervisor. This is the basic guidance for all situations. In many cases, your supervisor will be more knowledgeable about the questions, and he or she will appreciate being consulted as part of the decision-making process.

You may report ethical violations in confidence without fear of retaliation. If your situation requires that your identity be kept secret, your anonymity will be protected to the maximum extent consistent with my legal obligations. I in all circumstances prohibits retaliation of any kind against those who report ethical violations in good faith.

Ask first, act later. If you are unsure of what to do in any situation, seek guidance before you act.

Several key questions can help identify situations that may be unethical, inappropriate or illegal. Ask yourself:

• What specifically am I being asked to do? 

• Does it seem unethical or improper? Use your judgment and common sense. If something seems unethical or improper, it probably is.

• Does what I am doing comply with the EelKat's and/ or The Space Dock 13 Network's guiding principles, Code of Conduct and company policies?

• Have I been asked to misrepresent information or deviate from normal procedure? Think carefully on this one. I've been misrepresented before, and I am well acquainted with the local court houses and all the ways possible to drag you, your family, your business, and anyone involved in you through many years of legal mud. 

• Would I feel comfortable describing my decision at a staff meeting? Yes? No? I WILL expect you to explain yourself and your actions. Remember, I have Autism, I expect full details in correct and proper grammar.

• How would it look if it made the headlines? Remember, I am OFTEN in the news, on TV, in the newspapers, etc, etc, etc. I have been for more then 40 years. If you get involved in any sort of a situation involving me, how will YOU be seen in the eyes of my adoring public? 

• Am I being loyal to my family, my company and myself? Be loyal. Loyalty is good. I like loyalty. 

• What would I tell my child to do? If you wouldn't ask your child to do it, you probably shouldn't be doing it either.

• Is this the right thing to do? Remember: CTR = Choose The Right. Always choose the right thing to do.

Good Judgement Rule

Although this Code attempts to deal with many types of business conduct considered to be unethical, improper or detrimental to EelKat’s reputation or interests, no company policy could ever anticipate every situation that arises during the course of your employment. You are, therefore, advised to use good judgment in dealing with issues that confront you in applying the Code to unusual situations not specifically covered by the Code.

Work For Hire~
Twighlight Manor Press Freelance Writer Agreement

The following contract and terms are to be printed up and signed by both parties before I will enter into any Work For Hire Freelance Writing Agreement:

FREELANCE WRITER AGREEMENT 

This AGREEMENT ("Agreement") is made and effective on ______________ (MM/DD/YYYY), is entered into  by and between EelKat Wendy Christine Allen (herein called “EelKat”) and ____________________ (Insert the name and address of [THE COMPANY]) (herein called the “Company”).NOW, THEREFORE, in consideration of the mutual promises contained herein, the parties agree as follows terms:

Services to be Provided by EelKat: EelKat agrees to submit, on her sole initiative, written articles to the [THE COMPANY] on the following subjects, _____________________ (the "manuscript/ articles"). The manner and method of producing these manuscript/ articles is solely at the discretion of EelKat; [THE COMPANY] has no right of control over EelKat's manner or method of performance under this Agreement. EelKat will submit manuscript/ articles in accordance with the schedule of copy deadlines being used by the [THE COMPANY].

Work to be Performed: EelKat will write and submit manuscript/ article to Company as following; Subject: Length: Schedule for submission: Writer has the sole discretion to decide the manner and method in which manuscript/ article shall be produced. [THE COMPANY] reserves the right to edit and abridge as necessary.

Compensation: [THE COMPANY] agrees to pay EelKat $________ per manuscript/ article published by [THE COMPANY]. [THE COMPANY] agrees to pay $____ per Photograph taken by Writer that is published in conjunction with an manuscript/ article. [THE COMPANY] has sole discretion to decide which manuscript/ article/s and photograph(s) submitted by EelKat is/ are to be published. Payment will be made:

[] a) within ___ days of publication or 

[] b) upon acceptance of manuscript/ article. 

Kill Fee: The manuscript/ article on the topic of _____ is scheduled for publication by ______________(date). In the event that [THE COMPANY] decides not to publish the article as scheduled, it will pay EelKat $________ kill fee. All rights will then revert to Writer. Under no circumstances will EelKat be paid on an hourly, daily or other basis that is a function of time. EelKat acknowledges and agrees that [THE COMPANY] will only pay EelKat for manuscript/ articles that are published and [THE COMPANY] has the sole and exclusive authority to determine whether or not to publish any and all manuscript/ articles submitted by EelKat. [THE COMPANY] agrees to pay EelKat $_______ per photograph published in conjunction with an manuscript/ article; however, EelKat understands and agrees that [THE COMPANY] may publish, at its sole discretion, any number of photographs less than or equal to those submitted by EelKat with the manuscript/ article.

Original Content: EelKat warrants that the work is original, accurate, and does not infringe on any copyright.

Copyright: 

[]A: The Freelance Writer [EelKat] [EelKat] retains the copyright to the specified work but grants to [THE COMPANY] the following rights: (choose one or more) 

    [] First Serial Rights 

    [] One-Time Rights 

    [] Second Serial Rights 

    [] Electronic Rights 

    [] All Rights 

    [] Subsidiary Rights 

    [] Dramatic, Television and Motion Picture Rights 

[]B: Work to be performed as Work for Hire. All rights to remain with [THE COMPANY].

Assignment and Ownership of Intellectual Property: EelKat hereby understands and agrees that all manuscript/ articles submitted to, and published by, [THE COMPANY] under this Agreement shall be considered works for hire, and further, to the extend any intellectual property right does not pass pursuant to a work for hire, EelKat hereby assigns to [THE COMPANY] all rights to publish the manuscript/ article, and all previously submitted articles of EelKat, in any tangible medium of expression, now known or later developed, from which it can be perceived, reproduced, or otherwise communicated, either directly or with the aid of a machine or device, including without limitation the rights to archive, republish, edit, repackage or revise any manuscript/ article in any manner as [THE COMPANY] agreed to in the comment section below. The rights conferred upon [THE COMPANY] by this agreement shall be exclusive to [THE COMPANY] for a period of _______ after the first date [THE COMPANY] initially publishes the manuscript/ article.

Conflicts of Interest; Non-hire Provision: The Freelance Writer [EelKat] represents that they are free to enter into this Agreement and that this engagement does not violate the terms of any agreement between The Freelance Writer [EelKat] and any third party. Further, The Freelance Writer [EelKat], in rendering their duties shall not utilize any invention, discovery, development, improvement, innovation, or trade secret in which they do not have a proprietary interest. During the term of this agreement, The Freelance Writer [EelKat] shall devote as much of their productive time, energy and abilities to the performance of their duties hereunder as is necessary to perform the required duties in a timely and productive manner. The Freelance Writer [EelKat] is expressly free to perform services for other parties while performing services for [THE COMPANY]. For a period of six months following any termination, The Freelance Writer [EelKat] shall not, directly or indirectly hire, solicit, or encourage to leave [THE COMPANY]’s employment, any employee, consultant, or Freelance Writer of [THE COMPANY] or hire any such employee, consultant, or Freelance Writer who has left [THE COMPANY]’s employment or contractual engagement within one year of such employment or engagement.

Contract Period: This agreement will begin on the date set forth below and shall continue until terminated as provided by either party. If either party violates a term of this Agreement, then the other party (the "Non-breaching Party") may terminate this Agreement, effective immediately upon delivery of written notice of termination by the Non-breaching Party. Not withstanding the foregoing, either party may terminate this Agreement at any time for any or no reason, effective upon thirty (30) days written notice.

Independent Contractor: In consideration of the mutual covenants made herein, the parties agree as follows: 

EelKat is engaged in the business of writing articles and other materials on a freelance basis. 

[THE COMPANY] is engaged in the business of [THE COMPANY] publication.

Relationship: The parties expressly agree and acknowledge that the relationship created by this Agreement is one of Independent Contractor. [THE COMPANY] is not the employer of EelKat, and EelKat is not, and will not be treated as, an employee of [THE COMPANY] for federal tax purposes, or any other purposes. EelKat is an independent contractor, and nothing contained in this Agreement shall be construed to:

  (i) give either party the power to direct and control the day-to-day activities of the other,

  (ii) constitute the parties as partners, joint ventures, co-owners or otherwise, or

    (iii) allow Freelance Writer/ EelKat to create or assume any obligation on behalf of Company for any purpose whatsoever.

Freelance Writer/ EelKat is not an employee of Company and is not entitled to any employee benefits. Freelance Writer shall be responsible for paying all income taxes and other taxes charged to Freelance Writer on amounts earned hereunder. All financial and other obligations associated with Freelance Writer/ EelKat's business are the sole responsibility of Writer/ EelKat.

Representations and Warranties of EelKat: By submitting an manuscript/ article to [THE COMPANY], EelKat represents and warrants that the manuscript/ article is EelKat's original work, that the manuscript/ article is not owned by any third party, that the manuscript/ article is accurate, that the manuscript/ article has not been obtained by unlawful means, that the manuscript/ article has not been previously published in any manner or medium, specifically including, but not limited to, print or electronic means, and that publication of the article by [THE COMPANY] will not violate any copyright or other intellectual property right of any third party.

Insurance: The Freelance Writer [EelKat] will carry liability insurance relative to any service that they perform for [THE COMPANY].

Taxes: As an Independent Contractor, EelKat shall be responsible for the reporting, deposit and payment of any and all federal, state, and local taxes, including but not limited to income taxes, FICA taxes, and unemployment taxes incidental to the performance of, or payment under this Agreement.

Choice of Law: The laws of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, United States of America shall govern the validity of this Agreement, the construction of its terms and the interpretation of the rights and duties of the parties hereto.

Waiver: Waiver by one party hereto of breach of any provision of this Agreement by the other shall not operate or be construed as a continuing waiver.

Assignment: EelKat shall not assign any of their rights under this Agreement, or delegate the performance of any of their duties hereunder, without the prior written consent of [THE COMPANY].

Modification or Amendment: No amendment, change or modification of this Agreement shall be valid unless in writing signed by all the parties hereto.

Entire Agreement: This Agreement sets forth the entire agreement and understanding of the parties relating to the subject matter herein and supersedes any prior discussions or agreements between them. No modification of or amendment to this Agreement, nor any waiver of any rights under this Agreement, shall be effective unless in writing signed by the party to be charged.

Severability: If any provision of this Agreement is held to be invalid by a court of competent jurisdiction, then the remaining provisions shall nevertheless remain in full force and effect.

Headings: Section headings are not to be considered a part of this Agreement and are not intended to be a full and accurate description of the contents hereof.

Additional Comments A:______________________________

Additional Comments B:______________________________  

Additional Comments C:______________________________

This agreement will be governed by the laws of: Old Orchard Beach, Maine, United States of America

This Agreement is entered into on this _____ day of __________, 200___.

EELKAT WENDY C ALLEN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Name:__________ Title:_________ Date:__________  

[] By checking this I hereby agree to the terms of this agreement, with the intent to be legally bound.

Signature____________________________________________

[THE COMPANY] ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Name:__________ Title:__________ Date:__________  

[] By checking this I hereby agree to the terms of this agreement with the intent to be legally bound.

Signature_____________________________________________

The Twighlight Manor Press
Work For Hire~
Freelance Editorial Agreement

The following contract and terms are to be printed up and signed by both parties before I will enter into any Work For Hire Freelance Editng Agreement:

This agreement is between (“Editor”) and (“Client”) and concerns the following manuscript:

Author(s): [NAME OF AUTHOR/CLIENT]

Working title: [TITLE OF AUTHOR/CLIENT'S BOOK]

Length and description of manuscript: ______

1. EDITORIAL TASKS

The Editor agrees to do the following on the manuscript: [TASK AND TERMS ARE DEFINED ON A CASE BY CASE BASIS]

2. DELIVERY

The manuscript is to be delivered to the Editor by the Client on or before 

(date) by means 

of (courier, e-mail, or other) in the following format: .

The projected schedule for completion of the Editor’s work (specify number of iterations, if applicable) is as follows: [TASK AND TERMS ARE DEFINED ON A CASE BY CASE BASIS]

3. PAYMENT

The agreed-upon editorial fee of , [TASK AND TERMS ARE DEFINED ON A CASE BY CASE BASIS]

based on a flat fee or an hourly rate ($45.80 per hour), is to be paid by the Client to the Editor in the following manner: [TASK AND TERMS ARE DEFINED ON A CASE BY CASE BASIS]

The fee does not include the Goods and Services Tax or other applicable federal or provincial sales taxes. Payment is to be made within _____ days of invoice. Any payment after the due date is subject to _____% interest per month (_____% per annum).

The Client will reimburse the Editor for direct expenses incurred in fulfilling this agreement, including:

• photocopying

• printouts

• inputting

• long-distance calls

• parking

• travel

• couriers and postage

• ____________________

4. TERMINATION

This agreement may be terminated by either party in the event of material change of circumstance, with _____ days’ notice sent in writing to the other party at the address shown below. If the Editor terminates the agreement, the Editor will be paid by the Client for work done up to the date of termination. If the Client terminates the agreement, the Editor will be paid by the Client for the work done until termination or , whichever amount is greater.

5. SPECIAL CLAUSES

The editorial credit line shall read  

and shall appear on , at the option of the Editor.

Other: [TASK AND TERMS ARE DEFINED ON A CASE BY CASE BASIS]

6. INDEMNITY

Editing is intrinsically a process of offering advice and suggestions to the Author and Client. In addition to offering such advice and suggestions, the Editor’s responsibility is limited to notifying the Client of any unresolved differences with the Author before the work proceeds to the next stage of production. While the Editor will make every effort to bring questionable material to the attention of the Client, the Client agrees to indemnify and save harmless the Editor from any and all claims or demands, including legal fees, arising out of any alleged libel or copyright infringement committed by the Author or Client in creating the work.

7. APPLICABLE LAWS

The terms of this agreement shall be interpreted according to the laws of

Old Orchard Beach, Maine, United States of America, 04064.

In Québec only: Les parties aux présentes consentent à ce que celles-ci soient rédigées en langue anglaise (the parties agree that the agreement be written in English).

This contract may be changed only by written agreement between the Editor and the Client.

Signed by the parties to this agreement on (date)

Signature:

Editor’s printed name: EelKat Wendy Christine Allen

Address: 146 Portland Avenue, Suite 458 @ No Hurry

              Old Orchard Beach, ME, 04064-1520

Signature:

Client’s printed name:

Address:

Schedule A

Definitions of Terms

Developmental/Project Editing. Co-ordinating and editing a project from proposal or rough manuscript to final manuscript, incorporating input from authors, consultants, or reviewers. Does not include the following unless specified

• budgeting

• hiring

• design supervision

• production co-ordination

Rewriting. Creating a new manuscript or parts of a manuscript on the basis of content and research supplied by Author. Does not include the following unless specified:

• research

• writing original material

Substantive/Structural Editing. Clarifying or reorganizing a manuscript for content and structure. Does not include the following unless specified:

• research

• writing original material

• negotiating changes with Author

Note: The agreement should specify whether changes are to be suggested or drafted; if the latter, it should specify whether changes are to be made to hard copy or to the electronic manuscript.

Stylistic Editing. Clarifying meaning, eliminating jargon, polishing language, and other non-mechanical line-by-line editing. Does not include the following unless specified:

• checking or correcting reading level 

• creating or recasting tables or figures

• negotiating changes with Author

Note: The agreement should specify whether changes are to be suggested or drafted; if the latter, it should specify whether changes are to be made to hard copy or to the electronic manuscript.

Copy Editing. Editing for grammar, usage, spelling, punctuation, and other mechanics of style; checking for consistency of mechanics and for internal consistency of facts; inserting head levels and approximate placement of art; editing tables, figures, and lists; notifying Designer of any unusual production requirements. Does not include the following unless specified:

• Canadianizing

• metrication

• providing or editing art manuscript

• providing or changing system of citations

• editing index

• writing or editing captions or credit lines

• writing running heads

• obtaining or listing permissions needed

• providing front matter (prelims), cover copy, or CIP data

• editing preface or foreword

• negotiating changes with Author

• seeking approvals from clients’ representatives

Notes: The agreement should specify whether changes are to be made to hard copy, to the electronic manuscript, or to both.

“Copy editing” is often loosely used to include stylistic and even structural editing, fact checking, and mark-up. It is not so used in this agreement. These other tasks must be specified.

Mark-Up/Electronic Coding/Tagging. Inserting codes to manuscript, either on hard copy or electronically, to indicate design elements. Does not include the following unless specified:

• creating design in the electronic file

• creating art

Fact Checking/Citation Checking/Reference Checking. Checking accuracy of facts and quotes by reference to original sources used by Author or to other reference sources.

Indexing. Producing a key to the contents of a work. Includes reading and analyzing the work; choosing subjects, concepts, and other elements that together form a systematic guide to the information contained in the work; arranging these elements into entries consisting of headings and subheadings and their locators (for example, page numbers); and arranging the entries alphabetically or in some other searchable order.

Note: The agreement should specify whether the Client will provide a style sheet.

Picture Research. Locating suitable photos or artwork. Does not include the following unless specified:

• reading manuscript and composing picture list

• setting and maintaining budgets

• searching for artists’ references

• obtaining pictures and permission releases

• arranging for and supervising set-up shots

• editing and choosing pictures

• writing captions, labels, or source lines

• organizing pictures for scanning

• returning pictures

• negotiating usage fees

• sending final usage letters

Permissions. Locating source information and obtaining permission releases for copyrighted material. Does not include the following unless specified:

• reading manuscript and composing list of permissions needed

• setting and maintaining budgets

• negotiating usage fees

Production Co-ordination. Co-ordinating and supervising design, formatting, and proofreading stages, and ensuring integration of design and content. Does not include the following unless specified:

• preparing printer’s specs or obtaining quotes

• formatting

• proofing

• inputting changes

• checking vandykes/blues or other types of proofs and film

Note: Projects are assumed to be one colour only unless otherwise specified.

Proofreading. Checking proofs of formatted, edited material for adherence to design and for minor, mechanical errors in copy (such as spelling mistakes or small deviations from style sheet). Does not include the following unless specified:

• incorporating or exercising discretion on Author’s alterations

• copyfitting

• checking accuracy of running heads and folios

• checking page breaks

• inserting or checking page numbers to contents and page references

• marking colour breaks

• flagging or checking location of art

Notes: The agreement should specify whether proofs are to be read in isolation or “to copy” and whether a style sheet will be provided. It should also specify whether proofs are first, second (or subsequent), or final pages.

“Proofreading” is often loosely used to include copy editing and other tasks. It is not so used in this agreement. These other tasks must be specified.

Desktop Publishing. Creating a formatted document from an electronic manuscript according to a Designer’s instructions or a style template. Includes sizing and placement of art and setting front and back matter. Does not include the following unless specified:

• establishing design

• creating cover art

• formatting index

Note: Projects are assumed to be one colour only unless otherwise specified.

Many editorial and production stages have the potential to require follow-up in the form of (1) editing and incorporating Author’s responses and (2) checking corrections after they have been input. This agreement does not include responsibility for such follow-up unless specified (e.g., “copy editing, including incorporating author’s responses to queries and checking the input thereof”).

The Editors’ Association of Canada/Association canadienne des réviseurs (EAC/ACR) approved this model on May 15, 1999, for the use of its members and the public in preparing editorial contracts. EAC/ACR accepts no liability with respect to the proper completion of the agreement or alterations made to it. 

Children's Online Privacy Protection Act

This website is directed to adults; it is not directed to children under the age of 18. We operate our site in compliance with the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act, and will not knowingly collect or use personal information from anyone under 18 years of age.

COPPA, CDA, CIPA, Obscenity, &
18 U.S.C. § 2257 Compliance 

While EelKat.com strives to be overall child-safe and family friendly site, this website does contain written/ text adult content, (crude language, such as use of the word 'fuck' and 'shithead', etc- and discussions of writing sex scenes for fiction) which may be unsuitable for viewers under the age of 18. 

EelKat is an author of books which contain mature content, including graphic and explicit sex scenes, male/ male sex scenes, BDSM themes, Master/ slave relationships, December/ May relationships, knotting & barbs (shape shifter sex), sissification/ male feminization, yaoi relationships and sex scenes, CBT (cock&ball torture), LGBT couples, graphic medieval torture scenes, graphically depicted murder scenes, suicide, attempted suicide, drug use, and strong language including heavy use of the word fuck. 

All characters featured in sexually explicit scenes are over the age of 18. Parental discretion is strongly advised. 

Many (most) of the articles and blog posts found on this site are commentary about various books written by EelKat and as such, include discussions about graphic and explicit sex scenes, male/ male sex scenes, BDSM themes, Master/ slave relationships, December/ May relationships, knotting & barbs (shape shifter sex), sissification/ male feminization, yaoi relationships and sex scenes, CBT (cock&ball torture), LGBT couples, graphic medieval torture scenes, graphically depicted murder scenes, suicide, attempted suicide, drug use, and strong language including heavy use of the word fuck. 

EelKat's books and the articles about them are not intended for children, and while some parents allow their teens to read EelKat's books, she strongly recommends all parents review the contents of said books before allowing their minor children access to them.

This site contains no images or mention of person under the age of 18.

This site does not contain any graphic, adult, or sexually explicit images.

The primary focus of this site is awareness of the Transgendered lifestyle and Autism awareness for adult with Autism.

Likewise this site contains topics of a religious and spiritual nature and deal heavily in topics of "dark arts", including Voodoo and Necromancy (EelKat is a Voodoo Priestess and Necromancer). Many parents frown on their teens viewing sites of this nature.

To access or use this site, it is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED that you be 18 years old or older and have the requisite power and authority to enter into this Privacy Policy. Children under the age of 18 are prohibited from using this site, unless they have their legal guardian's permission to be here.

If you are under the age of 18, please check with your parents/ guardian before viewing this site.

Retaliation to Harassment, Bullies, Defamation, Libel, Slander, Impersonation, Fraud, Defalcation, Misappropriation & Similar Irregularities Policy:

Retaliation Policy: Do know that if you harass EelKat on any site, blog, forum, private message, email, snail mail, social network, online, offline, or otherwise, SHE WILL make an example of you, trace your ISP to locate your GPS location, post your full name, home phone number, email address, and home address here on this site, tell the world what you have done and will forward all your bullying to the FBI. EelKat has already sent two cyber bullies to prison this way, think carefully before you harass, libel, slander, defame, impersonate, misrepresent, defalcate, misappropriate, or otherwise bully EelKat, because she does prosecute offenders to the fullest extent of the law and will stay on your ass about it for years to come. 

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR WRITING, SPEAKING, AND IMPLYING OF ANY AND ALL FALSE STATEMENTS OF FACT TO PURPOSELY OR INTENTIONALLY HARM THE REPUTATION OF ANYONE OR ANYTHING and EelKat will hold you responsible for any false statements you write, say, or imply about her, anywhere, in any form. 

The legal definition of libel is: “to publish in print (including pictures,) writing or broadcasts through radio, television or film, an untruth about another or entity, which will do harm to that person or entity’s reputation.”

The legal definition of defamation is; “to injure one’s reputation caused by a false statement of fact and includes both libel (defamation in written or fixed form) and slander (spoken defamation)."

The crux of a defamation claim is falsity. Truthful statements that harm another’s reputation will not create liability for defamation (although they may open you up to other forms of liability if the information you publish is of a personal or high private nature.) Caution and restraint is key to avoiding possible libel and defamation actions.

(In other words: Be very, very, very careful in what you say about me, because I WILL track you down and sue your ass to hell and back.)

EelKat is a survivor of extreme bullying in childhood and now as an adult takes a strict zero tolerance stance against all bullies in all forms. Bully her once and she will haunt you for the rest of your life, she will NEVER drop it. EelKat has Savant Autism and forgets nothing. She will NEVER forget what you did, nor will she allow anyone else to forget it either.

EelKat strives to maintain the highest standards of decency, fairness and integrity in all our operations. Likewise, we are dedicated to protecting our readers, customers', consumers' and online visitors' privacy on our website.

HOWEVER: You give up that right the moment you cross the line and take part in harassment, bullying, defamation, libel, and slander. If you are a bully, your information WILL be made public.

Some examples of what may be considered harassment, depending on the facts and circumstances, including but not limited to the following:

• Verbal or Written Harassment: For example, unwelcome or derogatory comments regarding a person’s race, color, sex, religion, ancestry, ethnic heritage, mental or physical disability, age, appearance or other classification protected by Law; threats of physical harm; or the distribution, including by email or other electronic media, or display in any area, of written or graphic material having such effects.
• Physical Harassment: For example, hitting, pushing or other aggressive physical contact, touching or threats to take such action, or inappropriate gestures.
• Sexual Harassment:  For example, unwelcome sexual conduct, whether verbal or physical, including, among other things, sexual advances, demands for sexual favors, or other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature, whether or not it was designed or intended to promote an intimate relationship.
• Racial Harassment: For example, unwelcome or derogatory comments regarding a person’s race, color, ancestry or ethnic heritage; or distribution, including email or other electronic media, or display in any area, of written or graphic material having such effects.

Never forget that I am a Voodoo Priestess and the Holy woman of the Scottish Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Maine. I do and will cast hotfooting mirror-box spells to send all your bad will and ill thoughts back upon you and your family seven fold. No ill intent sent my way ever reaches me, and always returns back on the sender. I am protected. 

If you do not agree to the EelKat's Terms of Use and Privacy Policy as posted here on this website, please do not use this site or any services offered by this site, nor make any mention of my name, at any time or any place, online or offline, written, typed, or verbal.

Your use of this site indicates acceptance of this privacy policy and terms of service.

If you say anything about me online or offline, written or verbal, on paper or on a blog, in a forum or in an email, any mention of my name anywhere in any form, indicates your acceptance of this privacy policy and terms of service.

THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING, failure to read this warning or claim you were unaware of it's existence, will not protect you in the court of law.

Not Safe For Work Notice:

While EelKat.com is NOT an "adult" (X-rated) site and this site strives to be overall child-safe and family friendly and does not contain any graphic, adult, or sexually explicit images this website does contain written/text adult content, which may be unsuitable for viewers under the age of 18 and may be deemed by your employer as NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

EelKat is an author of books which contain mature content, including graphic and explicit sex scenes, male/ male sex scenes, BDSM themes, Master/ slave relationships, December/ May relationships, knotting & barbs (shape shifter sex), sissification/ male feminization, yaoi relationships and sex scenes, CBT (cock&ball torture), LGBT couples, graphic medieval torture scenes, graphically depicted murder scenes, suicide, attempted suicide, drug use, and strong language including heavy use of the word fuck. 

Many (most) of the articles and blog posts found on this site are commentary about various books written by EelKat and as such, include discussions about graphic and explicit sex scenes, male/ male sex scenes, BDSM themes, Master/ slave relationships, December/ May relationships, knotting & barbs (shape shifter sex), sissification/ male feminization, yaoi relationships and sex scenes, CBT (cock&ball torture), LGBT couples, graphic medieval torture scenes, graphically depicted murder scenes, suicide, attempted suicide, drug use, and strong language including heavy use of the word fuck. 

The primary focus of this site is awareness of the Transgendered lifestyle and Autism awarness for adults with Autism.

Likewise this site contains topics of a religious and spiritual nature and deal heavily in topics of "dark arts", including Voodoo and Necromancy (EelKat is a Voodoo Priestess and Necromancer). Many workplaces frown on employees viewing sites of this nature while at work.

To access or use this site, it is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED that you be 18 years old or older and have the requisite power and authority to enter into this Privacy Policy. Children under the age of 18 are prohibited from using this site, unless they have their legal guardian's permission to be here.

Please check with your boss/manager before viewing this site on a work place internet connection.

Dark Arts Warning:

This notice is Absolutely and totally stupid, the fact that I am required to put it here. The law requires me to put a warning stating that the use of magic is a curio, dangerous, blah, blah, blah. 

Ah, but you want a warning don't you? Everyone does. I start telling people how to be a Necromancer and the first thing they do, every time, is interrupted me and say: "But aren't you gonna give me a warning? Aren't you gonna try to stop me? Aren't you gonna tell me this is evil and dangerous and there's no turning back?"

No. Why would I? But it doesn't matter how many times I say they don't need a warning, they still pester me asking for one. I don't know why, but, let's just get it over with so we can move on, here you go a warning:

Dark Arts Warning: I am a Necromancer. I work with spirits of the dead, ancestor spirits, ghosts, Dark Fae (including Phookas, FarDarrigs, Kelpies, Unicorns, and Brackish Water Faeries) etc. All of my spells are cast with graveyard dirt and in a graveyard.  Most magic practitioners call the magic arts I do "Dark" or "Black" magic. Some call it Chaos magic. If such things bother you, you may wish to avoid me, my site, and you will especially wish to not antagonize or annoy me as I think nothing of casting curses, vengeance spells, retribution spells, and mirror box death wangas.  I specialize in gris-gris ("voodoo dolls") both "good" and "evil" types. I am NOT what people call a "white" witch who's scared to cast curses  antagonize me and I WILL cast one on you. I'm Maine's most famous and most feared "witch" or so I have been told...I'm not sure how the people doing the telling came to that conclusion. Personally I thinks it's all in their head (Same way I don't believe them when they talk about demons which I also don't believe in.) Of course, I don't believe in "good" or "evil" magic, nor do I believe in "white" or "black" magic, or that there exists any such thing as "dark" arts. I believe things are only as good or as evil as you see them, and that if you are seeing magic as evil, then you need to do some Soul searching to find out why you are translating things as evil. If you see evil things all around you, it might be saying something about how you feel about yourself. By their fruits Ye shall know them. If you see me as evil, that would be because evil exists in your own heart and you are reflecting your feelings towards yourself at me because you can't face the real you. So, no I don't Believe in "dark" arts or "demons", but the law required me to put this warning here, to protect myself from the people who do believe in such things.

There you go. I even made it nice and black and bloody, just the way you expected it would be. Happy? Can we move on now? Yes? Good. Thank you.

Can we continue now, without the stupid, ignorant, stereotypical, evil,  black arts mumbo-jumbo clogging up your brain?

Services Offered*1

Work For Hire~ Rootwork, Spell-casting, Altar Work, etc:

NOTE: As of November 2013 the services listed in this section are on hiatus.

Altar, Ritual & Rootworking Services

Binding (Love) Spells*2

Candle Services 

Card Readings (Faeries, Mermaids, or Unicorns)

Exorcisms (Spiritual Cleansing)*3

Di'Jin Bottle Spells

Doll Babies (Voodoo Dolls)

Gris-Gris Bags/ Mojo Hands

Hedge of Thorns/ Fiery Wall of Protection Spell

Honey, Sugar, & Vinegar Jar Spells

Hot-Footing, Cutting Ties, and Knife & Scissors Spell

Jackballs

Mirror Box Death Spells*4

Mirror Box Reversing Spells

Perpetual Candle Service

Synchronized Candle Lighting Service

(A separate page will be made to cover each service in detail, as they become available again.)

UPDATE: (March 16, 2015) Good news. My health is up these days so, book publications will resume soon. I spent 5 months (November 2013 to April 2014) bedridden due to a back/hip/knee injury and then several more months relearning to walk, the offline vandalism caused by the Kboards incident left us from October 2014 to January 2015 cleaning a 175 foot long, 30 foot wide, 12 foot tall pile of garbages, tires, and wood pallets out of our yard and as such, from November 2013 to January 2015, all projects (writing and otherwise) were put on hold. I was unable to start writing again until February 2015.

Because of my health and the vandalism, books have not seen regular releases and the food truck has been put on hold until at least fall 2015. I am still in and out of the hospital, my last surgery was December 2, 2014, and I shouldn't need more surgery for a while (hopefully) I am recovering, so I'll soon be back to writing full time. Book releases will be irregular until August 2015, after which they should be monthly again.

Thank you for all your love and support, you guys have been so wonderful through all of this.

{{{lots of hugs, love, and kisses - for all of you reading this}}}

UPDATE: March 28, 2015: The Church of The Holy Rhinestone has been torn down. This means the shrine/ building previously used for candle services, no longer exists. Plans are in place for a replacement.

Payment Methods

While I aim to be as flexible as possible in the way that my services are charged, do keep in mind, who I am, where I live, and how I live. I make no attempt to charge interest on late payments, so I expect payments to be made, in full, up front, in cash, when services are agreed upon. 

Do keep in mind that I live in "the sticks". We are VERY isolated from American society. While we lived on American soil since 1530, we are a Sovereign Nation and choose NOT to live among the Americans, as we do not agree with or approve of their lewd and immoral lifestyle. I live on a "Gypsy Camp" farm, which is basically what most Americans term a "compound" or "commune". Many locals mistake us for being Amish or Mennonites, because we live a very "1800's" lifestyle. While we do have cars, trucks, and motorhomes, we do not have electricity, phones, TVs, running water, or even a toilet nor any of the other exorbitant luxuries that pampered citified Americans deem as "necessities". We do not use credit cards and prefer to avoid banks. I have absolutely no way to accept credit cards or wire transfers and I don't really want to drive all the way to "outsiders' civilization" to run a bank check on your bank cheque.

If you make the effort to drive all the way out here to request my services, make sure I can actually accept payment for those services. We are Gypsies after all, we live in a culture/society that does not use or even have access to credit cards, money orders, checks, or any other non-direct cash payment methods.

Books~ e-books:

The printer (Amazon, etc) handles all payments and shipping.

Books~ print:

Offline, I accept cash only.

If the book is available online, then the printer handles all payments and shipping.

Work For Hire~ Car and/or Food Truck for Your Event:

Online, I accept Paypal only.

Offline, I accept cash only.

I do NOT accept checks, Western Union, cashier's checks, or anything else, online or offline.

(Checks are accepted from a few long time clients. But this is very rare, and only for clients I've worked with for a decade or more.)

Work For Hire~ Editing Services:

Online, I accept Paypal only.

Offline, I accept cash only.

I do NOT accept checks, Western Union, cashier's checks, or anything else, online or offline.

(Checks are accepted from a few long time clients. But this is very rare, and only for clients I've worked with for a decade or more.)

Work For Hire~ Freelance Writing:

Online, I accept Paypal only.

Offline, I accept cash only.

I do NOT accept checks, Western Union, cashier's checks, or anything else, online or offline.

(Checks are accepted from a few long time clients. But this is very rare, and only for clients I've worked with for a decade or more.)

Work for Hire~ Rootwork, Spell-Casting, Altar Work, etc:

Online, I accept Paypal only.

Offline, I accept cash only.

I do NOT accept checks, Western Union, cashier's checks, or anything else, online or offline.

(Checks are accepted from a few long time clients. But this is very rare, and only for clients I've worked with for a decade or more.)

Zazzle Products:

I do not handle any of the payments or shipments directly. I simply design the artwork. Zazzle handles all the printing of the items, collecting of payments, and shipping of items. They pay me 90 after you pay them.

Refusal of Services

All services are offered subject to my acceptance of your order and/ or requests. I reserve the right to refuse service to any order, person or entity, without the obligation to assign reason for doing so.

I always refuse services to minors and anyone who appears to be mentally unstable (wither due to illness or substance abuse.)

I refuse face-to-face offline services to ANYONE who smokes, smells of smoke, smells of beer, or is wearing strong perfumes. I have Autism and suffer serious allergic reactions to strong odors. I simply can not be in the same room as you if you carry a strong smell with you and therefor must refuse service until such a time as you have bathed sufficiently to remove the offending scents. 

No order is deemed accepted by me until payment has been processed.

I may at any time change or discontinue any aspect or feature of this site or services offered on this site, subject to my fulfilling my previous responsibilities to you based on acceptance of your payment.

Cancellations, Refunds, & Returns

No refunds given on spiritual counseling, spell-castings, altar work, candle work, rootwork, readings, lectures, educational classes, or any similar services.

Missed appointments are subject to one free rescheduling and if the subsequent appointment is missed there is a $45.80 surcharge to reschedule again.

If you miss your scheduled appointment, you must contact me within 48 hours to reschedule your appointment for another time. I only offer one rescheduling for missed appointments. My time is valuable. I take my time seriously. Do not waste my time as you risk pissing me off. I have no tolerance for people who waste my time.

If you miss your appointment and do not contact me within 48 hours to reschedule, your appointment will be cancelled and there is no refund.

If you need to reschedule your appointment, please contact me at least 48 hours in advance of your appointed time. Please keep in mind that I do not own a phone because I have Autism and Selective Mutism and because of the bulk of emails I receive I stopped reading emails several years ago, and thus you MUST come to my farm and contact me in person to notify me of your cancellation.

General Website Disclaimer:

Website Disclaimer: The information contained in this website are opinion pieces and editorials, for general information purposes only. The information is provided by EelKat and while I endeavour to keep the information up to date and correct, I make no representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability or availability with respect to the website or the information, products, services, or related graphics contained on the website for any purpose. Any reliance you place on such information is therefore strictly at your own risk.

In no event will EelKat be liable for any loss or damage including without limitation, indirect or consequential loss or damage, or any loss or damage whatsoever arising from loss of data or profits arising out of, or in connection with, the use of this website.

Through this website you are able to link to other websites which are not under the control of EelKat. I have no control over the nature, content and availability of those sites. The inclusion of any links does not necessarily imply a recommendation or endorse the views expressed within them.

Every effort is made to keep the website up and running smoothly. However, EelKat takes no responsibility for, and will not be liable for, the website being temporarily unavailable due to technical issues beyond her control.

Limitation of Liability

YOU AGREE THAT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHALL WE BE LIABLE FOR DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, SPECIAL, PUNITIVE, EXEMPLARY, OR ANY OTHER DAMAGES ARISING OUT OF YOUR USE OF THE SITE OR SERVICE. ADDITIONALLY, EELKAT IS NOT LIABLE FOR DAMAGES IN CONNECTION WITH:

1. (I) ANY FAILURE OF PERFORMANCE, ERROR, OMISSION, DENIAL OF SERVICE, ATTACK, INTERRUPTION, DELETION, DEFECT, DELAY IN OPERATION OR TRANSMISSION, COMPUTER VIRUS, OR LINE OR SYSTEM FAILURE; 
2. (II) LOSS OF REVENUE, ANTICIPATED PROFITS, BUSINESS, SAVINGS, GOODWILL OR DATA; AND 
3. (III) THIRD PARTY THEFT OF, DESTRUCTION OF, UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS TO, ALTERATION OF, OR USE OF YOUR INFORMATION OR PROPERTY, REGARDLESS OF OUR NEGLIGENCE, GROSS NEGLIGENCE, FAILURE OF AN ESSENTIAL PURPOSE AND WHETHER SUCH LIABILITY ARISES IN NEGLIGENCE, CONTRACT, TORT, OR ANY OTHER THEORY OF LEGAL LIABILITY. 

THE FOREGOING APPLIES EVEN IF EELKAT HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF OR COULD HAVE FORESEEN THE DAMAGES.

IN THOSE STATES THAT DO NOT ALLOW THE EXCLUSION OR LIMITATION OF LIABILITY FOR THE DAMAGES, OUR LIABILITY IS LIMITED TO THE FULLEST POSSIBLE EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW.

IN NO EVENT SHALL EELKAT’S CUMULATIVE LIABILITY TO YOU EXCEED THE TOTAL PURCHASE PRICE OF THE SERVICE YOU HAVE PURCHASED FROM EELKAT, AND IF NO PURCHASE HAS BEEN MADE BY YOU EELKAT’S CUMULATIVE LIABILITY TO YOU SHALL NOT EXCEED $100.

Effect of Headings

The subject headings of the paragraphs and subparagraphs of this Agreement are included for convenience only and shall not affect the construction or interpretation of any of its provisions.

Updates and Effective Date:

EelKat.com reserves the right to make changes in this policy. If there is a material change in our privacy practices, we will indicate on our site that our privacy practices have changed and provide a link to the new privacy policy. We encourage you to periodically review this policy so that you will know what information we collect and how we use it.

Agreeing to These Terms:

If you do not agree to the EelKat.com Terms of Use and Privacy Policy as posted here on this website, please do not use this site or any services offered by this site, nor make any mention of my name, at any time or any place, online or offline, written, typed, or verbal.

Your use of this site indicates acceptance of this privacy policy and terms of service.

If you say anything about me online or offline, written or verbal, on paper or on a blog, in a forum or in an email, any mention of my name anywhere in any form, indicates your acceptance of this privacy policy and terms of service.

You shall indemnify and hold us harmless from and against any and all losses, damages, settlements, liabilities, costs, charges, assessments, and expenses, as well as third party claims and causes of action, including, without limitation, attorney’s fees, arising out of any breach by you of any of these Terms and Conditions, or any use by you of this site or Service. You shall provide us with such assistance, without charge, as we may request in connection with any such defense, including, without limitation, providing us with such information, documents, records, and reasonable access to you, as we deem necessary. You shall not settle any third party claim or waive any defense without our prior written consent.

This Agreement constitutes the entire agreement between you and EelKat pertaining to this site and services and supersedes all prior and contemporaneous agreements, representations, and understandings between us. No waiver of any of the provisions of this Agreement by EelKat shall be deemed, or shall constitute, a waiver of any other provision, whether or not similar, nor shall any waiver constitute a continuing waiver. No waiver shall be binding unless executed in writing by EelKat.

This Agreement shall be construed in accordance with, and governed by, the laws of the State of Maine as applied to contracts that are executed and performed entirely in Maine. The exclusive venue for any arbitration or court proceeding based on or arising out of this Agreement shall be York County, Maine. The parties agree to attempt to resolve any dispute, claim, or controversy arising out of or relating to this Agreement by mediation, which shall be conducted under any procedure upon which the parties may agree. The parties further agree that their respective good faith participation in mediation is a condition precedent to pursuing any other available legal or equitable remedy, including litigation, arbitration, or other dispute resolution procedures.

These Terms and Conditions bind and inure to the benefit of the parties’ successors and assigns. These Terms and Conditions are not assignable, delegable, sublicenseable, or otherwise transferable by you. Any transfer, assignment, delegation, or sublicense by you is invalid.

Direct Contact Info

Let's get one thing straight right now: I like my privacy and I don't like being disturbed needlessly. I don't like bitchy, whiny, busy-body, nosey cry-babies, and I have absolutely no patience what-so-ever for any self-righteous holier-than-thou you're going to Heaven and I'm going to Hell crap.

If you REALLY want to contact me, you better have a damned good reason and not waste my time, because I WILL curse your ass if you write anything that ticks me off. Think carefully before you contact me. Think, very, very, very carefully.

There are A LOOOOT of Christians in America who believe that because they are Christian it gives them the right  to lavish me with every vile name calling label they can think of. Many of them choose to land in my inbox on a daily basis. Several have shown up in my yard, at my home to beat me up. Christian have groups frequently land in my driveway and march around with protests signs.

One man (who claims to be a Mormon/LDS High Priest) started emailing me on a daily basis in August 1997 and continued to send me daily hate mail (both in emails and in handwritten snail mail) until he died of brain cancer in September of 2013. Each of his letters were between 21 to 64 double sided pages long, and brimming filled to overflowing with his "vehement hatred" (his words) of me, my lifestyle, and everything I stand for. He was by far the most persistent in his dogmatic hatred for me.

Then there are people like Kendra. She started emailing me in September 2006 and showing up at my home, and at restaurants while eating with my family, and hacking my forum accounts, and posting requests on forums for people to kill me (in answer to her request a man built a grease fryer bomb and blew up my house, while me and my family were asleep in said house, on October 16, 2006). She is certainly the most insanely psychotic and mentally deranged of my anti-EelKat hate-fans.

Members of the LDS Saco Ward are perhaps the most violent. They included the bomb building Bishop's First Counsellor, a name calling & rock throwing Relief Society President, the now excommunicated gay-hating vandal Bishop and is angry mob of yard destroying & paintballing congregation members, oh yes, and of course the Bishop's second counselor aka the Crime Lord Town Manager of Old Orchard Beach who embezzled $3million in town taxes and blamed it on me citing that I was a "poltergeist" and "compelled" him to do it via my "Satanic magic". They left me crippled for the rest of my life I now have to wear a leg brace, a back brace, two arm braces, and walk with a cane, that after being paralyzed for 5 months from my injuries.

Two of the above went to prison, 34 of the 37 vandals died by being struck by lightning, 5 of the families died via murder&suicide in each case the father shot his wife and children before killing himself. In the space of 5 years the Saco Ward went for 250 members to 25 members. They are currently (2014 to 2015) desperately sending Home Teachers, Visiting Teachers, and Missionaries to my home with gifts and cookies and baked goods and Thanksgiving/ Christmas/ Easter baskets begging my forgiveness for the events of 2006 to 2009 and requesting I remove the curse I placed on their church in response to their acts of hatred. 

They bombed my house, left my father in a coma, I had to have plastic surgery to reconstruct my face, they left me crippled for the rest of my life I now have to wear a leg brace, a back brace, two arm braces, and walk with a cane, that after being paralyzed for 5 months from my injuries, and I've been homeless for 9 years since the bomb, because I have $3million in medical bills and can not afford to rebuild the house, and they think boxes of holiday food will make up for THAT?

If they REALLY want to say they are sorry, and expect me to believe it, they're gonna have to pay my medical bills and rebuild my house, until that is done I will neither forgive them, nor remove the curse from their church building and it's congregation. I was an active member of that congregation since 1978 and this is how they reacted when they found out what I was - people who pretended to be my friends for 27 years, they let their true colours fly high when they tried to murder me and my family. If they want forgiveness they need to prove they are worthy of being forgiven.

I am an Autistic, Transvestite, Gypsy, Voodoo Priestess, Necromancer. I irk people on many levels. They see me as "evil" and "scum of the earth" and "child of Satan". I know, because I receive on average 2,000 emails each and every week since 1997, telling me exactly that.

Because of who and what I am, I get A LOT of hate mail: I receive on average more then 2,000 "I hate you, you are evil, and I wish you were dead" emails EVERY SINGLE WEEK - and I print everyone of them up and cast a curse on every one of them, sending a return of those ill-wishes straight back at you. 

I am a Necromancer. I work with spirits of the dead, ancestor spirits, ghosts, Dark Fae (including Phookas, FarDarrigs, Kelpies, Unicorns, and Brackish water faeries), and also daemons. All of my spells are cast with graveyard dirt and in a graveyard (there are 4 separate cemeteries on my farm: one from the 1600s, one from the 1800s, a horse graveyard, and a pet cemetery). I work with both Human and Animal spirits and in both Human and pet cemeteries.

Most magic practitioners call the magic arts I do "Dark" or "Black" magic. Some call it Chaos magic. If such things bother you, you may wish to avoid me, my site, and you will especially wish to not antagonize or annoy me as I think nothing of casting curses, vengeance spells, retribution spells, and mirror box death wangas. 

I specialize in gris-gris ("voodoo dolls") both "good" and "evil" types. I am NOT a tutti-frutti, fluffy bunny white witch who's scared to cast curses and death spells, antagonize me and I WILL cast one on you. I'm Maine's most famous and most feared "witch". Why do you think Stephen King chose our clan to base Thinner off of?

Tip-toe through the tulips and tread lightly around me. I may dress in pink glitter and rhinestones, but don't let that fool you, I'm not the witch you want mad at you.

If you want to contact me and have me take you seriously, then first you must remove your self-righteous, disrespectful, hatemongering, bigoted, holier-than-thou attitude. Leave your God and your religion at the door. I happen to be a Christian, I know all about your God and your Bible. In fact all of the spells I cast, come directly out of the Bible. I am a Scottish Gypsy, after all, we are of Persian descent, the order of the Magi, that order of God Fearing Sorcerers founded by Daniel of the Lion's Den Fame. It is our guild that predicted the coming of the Christ Child and arrived in Bethlehem bearing gifts, according to the Gospel of Luke. Necromancers every one. Think about that, Honey, next time you are setting up your little Nativity scene under your Christmas tree: those do be three little Necromancers you got sitting under your tree worshiping at the Christ Child's manger. You better find out what the hell a Necromancer is, before you start putting us down.

I attended 12 years of Calvinist Seminary for training in the Pastoral Ministry. And 3 years of Seventh Day Adventist Seminary Studies specializing in the life on times of Daniel. And I am a 5th generation Mormon, descended from the first members of the Concronite Congregations on Heath Street in Saco, Maine, (the FIRST Ward of the Mormon Church aka the original Saco ward) where the ORIGINAL Mormons were meeting in the 1780s, some 40 years BEFORE the birth of "official" church founder Joseph Smith.

Since I was 9 years old I have read the Bible, cover to cover like a novel 31 times. Likewise I have read the Book of Mormon in the same fashion 14 times, and the Doctrines and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price and Book of Abraham in like fashion 3 times each. I have also read the Nag Hamid, The Dead Sea Scrolls, all 72 of the Gnostic Gospels, The Torah, The Koran, The Book of Enoch, and about 300 other holy texts of various Abrahamic and non-Abrahamic religious.

I have written detailed commentary (most more then 20 pages long each) on each every one of the chapters, of each and every book, of each and every one of above mentioned holy works of scripture.

In addition, I read a chapter of Ecclesiastes, The Book of Daniel, Psalms, Proverbs, The Four Gospels of Christ each and every morning and each and every night.

None of this includes my daily self-guided Bible study classes, which I have held in my yard for 40+ years now.

I am also a ghostwriter of sermons for a few dozen pastors, ministers, and bishops of 15 different Christian denominations.

Honey, I don't care how much better then me you think you are, nor do I care to read you seriously misquoted and out of context witch-hating Bible verses (NEWSFLASH: the word "witch" was INVENTED by Heinrich Kramer in 1458 and was not ADDED to the Bible until 1611, when King James ordered the removal of all words referencing to medical doctors, physicians, pharmacists, and nurses to be replaced by the word witch instead, because it was King James' belief that sickness was God's way of culling evil people from the Earth and that healers were servants of Satan, sent by Satan to remove "God's punishment", and therefore they were "witches". The Bible originally forbid going to any type of healer for healing, stating to only go to the priests [who were sorcerers] for healing via "God's Will" aka magic.)

You don't want to start arguing the Bible with me, Honey, because I know that book inside out, and in addition to the 31 times of having read the King James Version, I have also read 16 other translations and studied the Greek, Latin, and Armaic lexicons to learn the original meanings of the original texts.

So before you contact me, take your self-righteous, holier-than-thou, "I'm the best Christian on the planet and you are an evil worthless piece of Satanic shit" attitude and stuff it up your ass.

Next, sit your stuffed ass in a chair, spread out a nice piece of paper, grab yourself a pen, and HAND WRITE me a letter (you do know how to write with a pen on paper, don't you?), put it in an envelope, stick a stamp on it (you know, those little square things you have to buy at the Post Office), walk to your mailbox and snail mail it to me @ EelKat 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064, via the The United States Postal Service.

Just remember that if you send me hate mail, I am a Voodoo Priestess, Hoodoo Rootworker, and the Holy Woman of the Scottish Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Maine. I WILL use your letter as a "personal concern" to cast a curse on you or bless you based on the content and intent of your letter, and by you having handwritten it, I will also be able to read your handwriting (I'm a graphologist) and know way more about you then you'll ever want anyone knowing. How you write, the words you choose to use, the weight/pressure applied while writing, the color of the paper and ink, the angle of your letters, cursive vs italic vs print, it all says a lot about you.

Because of my ability to read handwriting, is why I do not take any emailed or typed and printed contact seriously. Only someone with something to hide, refuses to hand write a letter. I never trust a person who has something to hide. People who are not transparent in everything they do are not to be trusted on any level. If you want me to trust you and believe you are sincere, then hand write me a letter, and I will know the truth in your heart, by reading HOW you wrote, what you wrote.

Just because I wear pink rhinestones, doesn't change the fact that I'm still a Necromancer. And if you write to me with an attitude of you are King Shit and I'm not worth crap, I will call down the Grigory Angels, the Avenging Angels, and the Holy Watchers of Heaven and all the Demons of Hell and send their blazing spears up your ass. Don't know ho those angels are or how I know how to call on their help? damn, Honey, I thought you said you knew the Bible? All the step-by-step instructions, complete with each angels name an order are right there in the Book. Maybe you ought to try not being spoon fed your Bible in church and actually READ it for yourself for a change!

Likewise, I bless those who are kind to me. Speak kind words and good luck shall follow you. So think carefully before you write to me.

Yeah. Think long and hard about that next time you misquote something you heard your pastor saying, because Honey, he's misquoting those verses to keep you in the dark. There ain't no pastor on this planet that REALLY wants you to read your Bible and find out all the spell casting rituals it details, step-by-step how to do. Every spell, every curse I cast, I cast with God's blessing and in Jesus name. It's why my spells work, so damned well.

I get more than 2,000 emails a week. (More since the Twighlight vs Twilight fiasco). I write & edit books and articles 60 hours a week. I run an animal shelter (feral cat and bird rescue) that houses 500+ animals at any given time, and takes me 5 hours a day just to feed them. I also have a family to cook and clean for, including a husband with Alzheimer's. I am thus backlogged with (at last count {August 2008}) more than 300,000 unread emails. If you want me to read your email, you have a LOOOONG waiting list ahead of you - today is not looking good for your chances of getting an email through to me, and neither is tomorrow.

I NEVER answer private correspondences privately. You WILL NOT get an email response from me. IF I decide to respond to you, I will do so by creating a blog post here on my site.

If you want Christmas Cards, Birthday Cards, or Postcards of Maine sent to you:

Mail me a Christmas Card and I will mail one back to you.

Mail me a Birthday Card (August 13), make a note of your own birth date and I will mail one back to you. 

Mail me a postcard of your state, country, or hometown, write "postcard exchange" on the back, and I will mail a postcard of my local area (Saco Bay, Saco, Old Orchard Beach, or Biddeford - Maine) back to you.

If you don't have something nice to say to me, you damn well better not say anything to me at all.

• This Terms of Service and Privacy Policy were written for The Space Dock 13 Network on: September 23, 1997

• The Space Dock 13 Network was renamed and transfered to EelKat.com on September 13, 2013.

• This Terms of Service & Privacy Policy is effective from September 23, 1997 to the current date.

Added Note:

UPDATE: (March 27, 2015) There is someone online pretending to be me. They have been using the ID name "EelKat" on accounts on various sites and posting ludicrous crap. I don't know who they are or why they are doing it, but other then my website here at EelKat.com, the only other sites I post to are:Tumblr, Twitter, and FaceBook. This person hacked into my old forum accounts between August 2014 and October 2014 and began posting weird shit via my old accounts, pretending to be me. Note that, I was in the hospital at the time this happened and was not online. I did not find out about this hacking/hijacking of my accounts until November/December 2014, when I shut down all 34 of my blogs, my social network accounts, and all of my forum accounts. Most of the hacker's target had been focused on my Kboards account, where they attempted to do quite a bit of damage to my reputation and career. 

They know enough about me to post SOME (very little) accurate information about me and my life (stuff they, very obviously copied off my website here), enough to make their posts look like they actually are written by me, but most of what they are posting is outright lies, and outrageous inaccuracies, such as claiming that I own two brand new Rolls Royces - I do not even own one! Because,  they very clearly don't actually know me, and there is very little information about me out there, they are "filling in the blanks" by making stuff up and posting a lot of "this happened to me" and "I did this and that" type of posts, making claims to things I have never done.

They are also making wild claims about which books I've written, attributing books to me, that I did not write and have no affiliation with at all, at several points making the false claims that I am simply the alternate penname of Twilight author Stephanie Meyers. One post claimed "EelKat" to be a made up "vampire name". No, EelKat Wendy Christine Allen is my REAL name, EelKat is a Kickapoo/Native American word, meaning "girl guided by eels", it was given to me by my Kickapoo grandmother, when I was 3 years old, after she discovered my obsession with collecting, painting, raising, and drawing eels. The Green Moray Eel is my favorite animal, and has been for as long as I can remember. Grammy Eva said eels were my spirit guides, thus why she gave me that as my "spirit name". I have always used EelKat when writing. While I use a penname for my Erotica books, you will find the words "EelKat writing as ---" on the copyright page of those books.

If I wrote a book, it's here on my site. If it's not here on my site, I didn't write it, simple as that. (The Erotica books are not shown or linked to on this site, because of the Google AdSense ToS. They are also not sold on Amazon as they are self-published vanity press chapbooks, only sold locally from local brick&mortar mom&pop bookstores.)

ALL of my books are published by The Twighlight Manor Press. I have no books published with ANY other publisher. (Though I have sold a few work-for-hire 3-page comic book scripts to Disney, those being published by Egmont {Danish language comic books} and Hatchet {French language comic books}. Like the Nancy Drew books written by 57 authors all as Carol Keene, Disney assigns pennames to those, so dozens of authors write the comic script, when it appears to only be one author.) 

So, no, I am NOT Stephanie Meyers. (And please STOP addressing her emails to me. No, I will not forward them to her, I just delete, unread, everything addressed to her.) No, I have never published any books that do not connect back to the name EelKat. If it doesn't say: "EelKat writing as ---" on the copyright page, it isn't me. If it wasn't published by The Twighlight Manor Press, it also wasn't me, as that is the only publisher handling all of my books.

They (the hacker) have been making equally wild claims about my income, in one post claiming I was making $140,000 a month! God! I wish! I haven't made that much total in the past 10 years combined. They have posted my home address in their posts, so they know where I live. They are also copying photos off my website (photos of me) and using them in their posts.

I have been finding these impersonation posts like this, on several forums across the internet. Whoever is doing this, they have been very thorough in hacking into as many of my old (and no longer used) forum accounts as they could find. near as I can tell from the dates on the posts, it appears they started doing this in mid-May 2014, and did most of it between August 2014 through October 2014, only stopping in December 2014, after I discovered it was happening and changed the passwords of most of my accounts and deleted the rest (thus ending their access to my old accounts - they can't hack an account if I just delete it and it is no longer there for them to hack.)

It is unclear who is doing this or why, but, do know that if you see "me" posting ANYWHERE online, other than here at EelKat.com or Tumblr, Twitter, and FaceBook, it is NOT me!

I have ZERO currently active forum accounts. I am NOT currently posting on ANY forums ANYWHERE! Any posts showing up on forums ARE NOT being posted by me.

And Tumblr, Twitter, and FaceBook are the ONLY currently active social network accounts I have.

I will be so happy when all this Kboards hacker court drama is over, so I have time to write regular again. Damn it. I hate all the time this jackass thug is wasting for me. I spent 5 months bedridden, and I get out of the hospital to find out that while I was offline some creep hijacked my forum accounts and social networks and raised absolute hell. God! What is wrong with people? I am so sick and tired of trouble makers. What is it with shit-headed people like that, that possesses them to do something like this?

I get out of the hospital from months and months and months of medical hell and not being able to write or publish the whole time, think FINALLY I can get back to my daily writing and monthly publishing schedule, and then I find out what this jerk was doing to my accounts while I was offline and now I have THAT mess to clean up and straighten out before I can get back to writing regular again. 

Needless to say, I find what this person is doing to be quite annoying and they have been properly cursed to fit their crimes.

My ToS and Retribution Policy has been in place and on all of my websites since 1997.

It seems they overlooked one very important little fact: I am EelKat, the one and only, the single most feared Gypsy Witch/Necromancer in New England, made famous by being featured in Stephen King's The Thinner. Did you really think you could impersonate me and get away with it?

You should have researched me better before impersonating me and pissing me off. 

The death of a thousand hungers I rain upon your head. All your ill intents now mirror back upon you. For seven years, you shall suffer, you and your family and your children, shall all wish you had never been born. So let it be written, so let it be done.