Looking to connect with me on social media? Links to all my official accounts can be found here:

<<<<---  If it is not on that list, it is not me. 

Please note that since 2013, there have shown up several FAKE "EelKat" accounts, often using photos stolen from my website. Those accounts are run by a stalker who also goes by the names Kendra Silvermander & Tom Addams. The identity of both is unknown and it is believed to be one person using 2 different online names. They are wanted by the FBI, not only for stalking, impersonation, and identity theft, but also for the bomb that blew up my house, the attempted murder of my dad, twice the attempted murder of me, and the attempted murder of my brother, so if you run across one of these fake accounts pretending to be me, please report it to the FBI Agent in charge of the case: Andy Drewer @ (207) 774-9322

Publishing Methods:
Looking for some advice on how to publish a book?




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  • How much does it cost?

If trade pubbing it costs nothing. Avoid any publisher that requests money - they are scams. Trade publishers do all the work. Editing, formatting, cover art, and they never charge you for those things.

Some authors, before sending it to a publisher, like to hire an editor to edit it first, so that they send a polished draft to the publisher. So that's a possible expense.

Do know that the average fee for professional editing services is around $200 an hour, and plan on about $2,000 average to edit your manuscript.

Use caution when finding editors on places like Fiverr - English is rarely their first language and many authors have found their manuscripts trashed into a gibberish illiterate mess. Some authors recommend Fiverr, but most say to avoid anything you find on Fiverr.

If self-pubbing, it only costs money if you hire out services. For example if you hire an editor to edit it. Or if you hire someone to format it. Or if you hire someone to make the cover art.

If hiring a cover artist, plan on $50 to $2,000 for the cover, with $200 to $300 being average. Again, some authors have found good work on Fiverr - BUT MOST Fiverr users are making cover art with stolen images they do not have the rights to use and many authors who buy covers on Fiverr run into copyright issues later on, so be careful if you go the Fiverr road.

These are all things you can do yourself for free or you could do some and hire others for the rest. It depends on your skill in editing, formatting, and cover art design.

If trade pubbing plan on a year or two, from the time you start submitting it, to the time it gets accepted, and another year or two before it is published (up to 4 years, with 2 being typical, from the time you finish writing to the time it is published.)

If self pubbing, plan on 6 months to a year, of you doing nothing but editing, editing, editing, formatting, reformatting, and making cover art, before you get around to publishing it.

How does someone self publish?

Most use Amazon Kindle (KDP), some use SmashWords, others use LuLu. There's a few others, but I'm not familiar with the rest.

I prefer Amazon myself, just because it's easy. They have super simple step by step instructions to follow, and your book can be available in minutes.

If trade publishing, I recommend getting a copy of the current Writer's Market (a directory of all book publishers - sort of like a yellow pages phone book). It's your best friend. It'll help you find agents, publishers, and steer you away from scams. The 2018 edition should be out in a few weeks, you should probably wait for that edition as it'll be the most up to date.

Wither trade or self, make sure the book is edited.

  • If self pubbing, you'll also have to format it and either make or have made cover art.

I use LibreOffice to format my manuscripts. And ChaseyDraw to make my cover art. Both are free. ChaseyDraw is basically a freeware version of PhotoShop.

  • If trade pubbing, they'll handle formatting and cover art.

NOTE: no publisher ever asks you for money. They do not charge for editing, formatting, cover art, marketing, or anything else.

You can trade publish without an agent, but most of the super big publishers will only accept agented submissions. Check the publisher's listing in the Writer's Market to see what they accept, when they are open for submissions, and if they require agents or not.

  • If you are looking to get into one of the really big-big-BIG publishers, focus on finding an agent.
  • If you are looking to get into a smaller press, focus on finding a publisher.
  • If you are looking to self publish, focus everything you got on editing, editing, and more editing, as you won't have many outside eyes looking at your draft.

IMPORTANT:
If a publisher is NOT listed in the Writer's Market...
use extreme caution.

A publisher has to pass several tests of legitimacy to get listed in the Writer's Market. If they are not listed, it means they failed one or more tests and are likely a publisher that has shady practices, or are possibly outright scammers. Be careful of any publisher who did not pass the Writer's Market tests.

  • Vanity press is an option, but rarely is it your best option.

If you are writing a mainstream interest book, self pubbing or trade pubbing is a far better way to go. Do not be tempted to go the vanity press road unless you fully research it and understand the extreme amounts of upfront money and unique difficulties that come with it. Some who go the vanity press road have had great success with it, but most only found hardship and disappointment. It is better used for groups then individuals

(Vanity press is great for a church that wants to publish a community cookbook, or a school that wants to publish a class yearbook, for example.)

Vanity press rarely works for novels.

Generally the genre of your book will determine the type of publishing method

  • Self pubbing tends to be best if you are dealing with a small niche that is rarely picked up by big publishers (Yaoi, Bizarro, Weird Horror, Erotica, and short story collections for example).
  • Indie Press, especially College owned University Presses are best for Literary Fiction, Anthologies, or Poetry.
  • Trade pubbing is best for mass market appeal books, like Murder Mysteries, Romances, Fantasy, Science Fiction, YA, etc.
  • Vanity press is best for local interest, local history, stories set in your home town, family history, memories, fundraiser cookbooks, high school yearbooks, and anything that would only sell to a few people in your local area.

Be careful of vanity press pubbing. Some of it is legit, but that sector is rife with scam artists. In REAL vanity press, you hire a printing press to print up physical copies of you book - most have a 10,000 book minimum for paperbacks and 1,000 minimum for hardcover. Plan on spending at MINIMUM $30,000 in printing costs and upwards of $100,000 if you go vanity press. Morris Press is one of the few legit vanity press companies. They are the only one I would personally recommend. Note that all a vanity press does in print up tens of thousands of copies of your book, then deliver them to your front door.

They do not design covers, format, edit, market, or help you sell your book. They are a book printing service ONLY. If you run into a vanity press that says otherwise - RUN! No real book printer, tries to scam you, but there are thousands of fake vanity presses out there who will try to scam you out of your money and give you nothing but heartache.

If you plan on vanity press, look for local copy shops in your town and ask them if they print up books. If they do, they likely offer short runs of only 100. If they don't they can usually direct you to a business that does offer the service. Usually the only reason to go the vanity press road, is if you are publishing a local interest books that wouldn't have mass appeal, and you plan to sell at local mom&pop book stores who promote local authors.

I mention vanity press, because once you start contacting agents and publishers, you'll find your mailbox and email, suddenly filled with "book publishing offers" that sound great, and request you send them your manuscript with a check to cover reading fees. These are NOT real vanity press, nor are they real Indie Press, though they may call themselves that.

  • A REAL vanity press will NEVER contact you or make an offer for a book deal.
  • Any press or publisher who contacts you with a "book offer" when you did not send them a submission or query, is a scam. Do not deal with them. Real publishers do not work that way.




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What do you want to become? 
What did you do today to step closer to that goal?
Whatever you do, be your best at it!
And remember to have yourself a great and wonderfully glorious day!

~EK
EelKat.com
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By EelKat Wendy C Allen







Books By EelKat
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And why 27 books were deleted off Amazon after being banned by The Old Orchard Beach, Maine Town Hall, an American Government organization, on January 4, 2016, for being "Too Gay For The Family Friendly Town of Old Orchard Beach".






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The Top 202 Most Visited Pages of 2017

Seeing how on October 15, 2017, we reached 10,000 pages, I thought it'd be fun to update the Top 100 List and see where were were now.

Top 202 Most Viewed Pages Of 2017 So Far
(Out of 10,000 pages)

(January 2017 to October 2017)
(Excluding the Home PageAbout Page, and Site Map Page, which were the top 3)

  1. Amphibious Aliens: The Story of Etiole & The World's Most Haunted Car
  2. The GoldenEagle: An Auto-biography of the World's Most Haunted Car
  3. Medieval Servants: Their jobs and their place in historical fiction.
  4. How Long is 50,000 Words?
  5. On being a handicapped CosPlayer at PortCon Maine 2017
  6. Stephen King's The Thinner and The Gypsies Of Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  7. Writing Mute Characters
  8. Flamboyant Nipples: The KKK's New Gay Hating Site About Old Orchard Beach | The Site That Makes Fun of Terrorist Hate Crimes
  9. Writing Dares Random Generator
  10. Don't put flyers on people's cars...
  11. The Saco River Curse
  12. Our Primary Site Topic Is Small Penis? Reaching #1 on Page 1 of Google.
  13. Help FBI End Anti-Gay White Power Terrorist Attacks of Old Orchard Beach
  14. Creating Character Profiles | Meet The Characters | Who Is Quaraun?
  15. Introduction To The Quaraun Series: aka Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach
  16. The Dazzling Razzberry aka EelKat's Autism Awareness Car
  17. Autism, Asperger, PTSD, & Mad Cow: Writing Clinical Insanity Accurately | What is wrong with Quaraun? 
  18. Quaraun Free To Read Online Complete Chapter Index In Chronological Order
  19. Necromancy: Fact Vs Fiction; Or How Can You Be A Necromancer In Real Life?
  20. 600 Pages: Epic Big Super Sized Novels and Why You Should Never Write One
  21. Why Crude Adult Comedy and Pink Humor Yaoi Is Not Erotica
  22. The FBI In Old Orchard Beach, Maine Trying To Capture A Domestic Terrorist
  23. One Gypsy's Review of My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding
  24. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 1 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  25. Autism, Asperger's, And The Danger of The Self-Diagnosis
  26. Spell Casting Side Effects: Magic In Quaraun's Universe | Author Interview
  27. What Type of Music Does A Gypsy Listen To? My Top 10 Favorite Bands
  28. Beware of White Men In Gypsy Clothing: Fake Psychic Scams
  29. How long does it take to hit 1667 words?
  30. How to Write A Kiss
  31. Phookas
  32. Creating Character Profiles | Meet The Characters | Who Is GhoulSpawn?
  33. Albino Races - Moon Elves In The Quaraun Series
  34. Daily Writing Prompts (June 2017 Archive)
  35. My 30th Anniversary of Being Transgender
  36. Why Are The Quaraun Books Rated M18+
  37. How to Write Hot Sex - Tips For Erotic Romance Authors
  38. The Zaharam-Chapelle-Parunas Ethnographical World Building Questionnaire
  39. The Jiggler & The G-String Teddy Bears | The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane
  40. What exactly makes an Elf an Elf? (What is the definition of an Elf?)
  41. Online Income: The Reality vs The Fantasy
  42. World's Most Haunted Car Merchandise
  43. I Am Not GhoulSpawn | Excerpt From Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  44. Old Orchard Beach Hate Crimes
  45. BoomFuzzy Chapter 1 (Novel Excerpt - Quaraun The Insane)
  46. How can your books have gay transvestite characters and not be Erotica? or Why are gay haters beating up elderly woman for wearing pink for breast cancer awareness and saying she's a transexual because only transexuals wear pink?
  47. EelKat's Guide To NaNoWriMo Featuring The 13 Step Method To Writing
  48. Autism and the Stigmas - Why Can’t You Accept Me As Me?
  49. Maine UFO Sightings
  50. Page 11 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - The Scottish Traveller Crime Family
  51. Psychedelics In A 'High' High Fantasy World (High Elves Getting High)
  52. KBoards, The NaNoWriMo ML Rumor & The Vindictive Stalker
  53. Writing Racist Characters VS The Ku Klux Klan In Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  54. Captured By The Lich Lord | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  55. How To Build A Magic System
  56. I've everything but a kitchen sink. Wait, how'd that sink get in my pocket?
  57. Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies & The Ku Klux Klan of Old Orchard Beach
  58. Autistic Characters In Fiction
  59. City of The Slushies | Chapter 7 | Quaraun The Insane
  60. Manuscript Reading Services or Will You Read My Book and Tell Me What You Think?
  61. Suicide, Rape, and Abuse In The Quaraun Series
  62. Wizards vs Witches vs Sorcerers: How are they different? | Writing Fantasy Books
  63. FRED: Google's Most Deadly Update Ever?
  64. How To Write A Novel: Question Everything Before Putting It In Your World
  65. Content writing: How long do you spend creating a quality blog post?
  66. SBI: To Review or Not to Review? That Is The Question
  67. Twerking Dragons: The Joys Of Writing A Novel With A Voice Recorder
  68. A Day At Witch Pond & Fleeing To The Forest | Summoner of Darkness
  69. Transgender, Transsexual, Transvestite, or Intersex: What Is Quaraun?
  70. Sheep | GhoulSpawn The Crazed & The Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  71. Colour Magic - Gypsy Style
  72. Ideas, Ideas, Ideas (Where Do You Get Them?)
  73. Keywords & Pigeons: How I Do Local Business Marketing
  74. Quaraun & Autism In Fantasy Novels
  75. The Signs Of Old Orchard Beach & The FBI Investigation Of The Town Hall
  76. Tom Addams & The Warrior's Forum
  77. A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond | Summoner of Darkness
  78. An Elf and a Lich in the Gingerbread Pit | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  79. Markiplier Jacksepticeye and Pewdiepie Play Resident Evil 7
  80. Santa Claus: Lich Of The North Pole (Includes NSFW 18+ CBT Yaoi scene)
  81. A Motorhome named 'No Hurry' becomes Rosebud & The Story of Ten Kidnapped Cats
  82. Create Original Content aka I Hate Jackass Gutter Scum Thieves
  83. Lost In a Space That Isn't There: Going North To Head South
  84. An Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink Necromancer
  85. Aspergers is NOT Autism
  86. Is The Quaraun Series Erotica? - No! Here's why...
  87. Summoner of Darkness: GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A Phooka
  88. The Dungeon Master & The 1974 AMC Gremlin
  89. The Lich's True Form Revealed | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  90. Using work you already started for national novel writing month?
  91. World-building In The Quaraun Series: Creating a Fantasy World
  92. Books in Vacationland 2017
  93. BoomFuzzy's Gingerbread House From Hell
  94. Lets Playing Is No Longer Fun
  95. Santa's Floating Dead Body | A Scene From The Summoner of Darkness
  96. The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death
  97. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 2 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  98. What vlogging equipment is needed to get started as a YouTube vlogger?
  99. April 2015 Update: Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach: The Kidnapped Cats
  100. Betta Fish Aesthetic on Pinterest
  101. Domain Name Branding: Should You Put Your Brand Name In Your URL?
  102. Life As A YouTuber: How To Earn An Income From Making Videos
  103. Making YouTube Videos: How did you decide what content to make?
  104. Page 4 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  105. Twighilight Not Twilight
  106. YouTube Index
  107. Amphibious Aliens: My health since the stroke and Etiole . . .
  108. Are You A Satan Worshiper?
  109. Average Typing Speed
  110. Custom Leggings - Designs By EelKat
  111. Ernest Hemingway Style of Writing Literary Fiction Used In Epic Fantasy Novels
  112. Google Flagged Your Site! What To Do? (Help For Web Masters)
  113. How valuable is a writer’s group?
  114. Lives Destroyed: Amphibious Aliens 10th Anniversary Update
  115. Lost In a Space That Isn't There: Santa's Letter To Satan
  116. Summoner of Darkness: Quaraun Meets The Gremlin
  117. The Terrorists of Old Orchard Beach Put My Dad In a Coma
  118. Using Yahoo Answers to promote your book and author website.
  119. What Is This Site?
  120. You Stole My Idea - I was writing a book, but you already wrote it 10 years ago!
  121. City of The Slushies | Chapter 1 | Quaraun The Insane
  122. Creative Writing Story Prompts: September 2017 Edition
  123. Dungeons and Dragons: The Joys Of Calculating Gold Weight In AD&D 2ed
  124. Fabric Designed By EelKat
  125. My Fave YouTubers Play: Dream Daddy - The Yaoi Dad Dating Sim Otome Game
  126. Necromancy: How will resurrection affect society as a whole?
  127. Page 7 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  128. Pink Flowers Aesthetic on Pinterest
  129. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 12 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  130. What will a traveler encounter on the roads in your world?
  131. Are you insane? Am I? Let's Find Out...
  132. Becoming A Better Writer: How to write interesting dialogue.
  133. Character Creation
  134. Copper Cockeral Cards & Gifts
  135. Elves, Drugs, and Opium: A Look At The Drug Use In The Quaraun Books
  136. How To Stay Motivated To Write | Writing Fantasy Books
  137. Jewelry Fashions in Moon Elf Culture | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books
  138. Keyword Marketing - What to do when your best keywords are low demand
  139. Magic Systems and How to Build Them | Writing Fantasy Books
  140. NaNoWriMo Overachievers: How did you do it?
  141. Quaraun Cover Art Gallery | Fantasy Novel Book Cover Art
  142. Quaraun The Insane : Zebulon's Captive: The Last of The Moon Elves
  143. SEO Advantages of Embedding YouTube Videos On Your Website
  144. Summoner of Darkness: A Tavern Scene - Chastity Cages, and Whores
  145. Summoner of Darkness: The Return of ZooLock (free to read online)
  146. Twighlight Not Twilight Part 2
  147. Vanishing Books Update - Why 27 of my books were deleted off Amazon
  148. What is a God in Your Universe? | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books
  149. Writing Maine: How To Write About Maine Life Accurately
  150. What the Ocean Gives Me (How Things In Your Life Affect Your Writing)
  151. City of The Slushies | Chapter 14 | Quaraun The Insane
  152. February 10, 2008 - Harassment Continues in Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  153. How does a bestselling book become a bestseller?
  154. Marriage in Moon Elf Culture | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books
  155. People are not interested in long winded copy
  156. September 26, 2017 - The Latest Attack By The KKK on The Thinner Gypsies
  157. Spending Money To Make Money Online? Should You Do It?
  158. Summoner of Darkness: The Demon Cultists and The Coming of The Darkness
  159. Summoner of Darkness: The Map of The Town (novel free to read online)
  160. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt GOTY | Completionist Run: Episode 01
  161. Trespassers: April 2007 Updates
  162. Turning Scenes, Into Stories & Writing Travelogue Style Fantasy Books
  163. Where To Get Endless Ideas For Short Stories, Novels, and Articles
  164. Writing Controversial Books: Political Correctness & White Supremacists
  165. Are Bad Reviews Good For You?
  166. Branding Yourself While Avoiding The Scams | EelKat On Content Writing
  167. Child Sacrifice in Fantasy Novels | Writing Fantasy Books
  168. How to Handle Writing Fantasy-Horror That Features Violence Against Children
  169. How would you explain your Fantasy world to a stranger?
  170. Page 6 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  171. Summoner of Darkness: HellBorne The Evil, Lord of Black Tower
  172. The return of Friends Are Forever - Banned and Burned it's about to be reborn!
  173. Why do Lovecraftian beings come to earth?
  174. Writing Prompts Syndrome?
  175. Autism = The Crazy Cat Woman of Maine
  176. Autism: Understanding what is really going on inside the child’s head.
  177. But what exactly IS a full time income?
  178. Content Marketing & writing: How I write content for my website
  179. Do you write a novel start-to-finish?
  180. GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover: How To Kill a Lich
  181. How is it that the church leaders are claiming you do not pay tithes?
  182. How To Write A Novel: In what order do you create your world?
  183. I loved my children but I loved BoomFuzzy more | From Quaraun The Insane
  184. My Two Favorite People: FarDarrig and The Baby That Never Should Have Been
  185. Need help writing characters of color | EelKat on racist white readers
  186. Quaraun and the Amazon Adult Filter
  187. Quaraun GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover: The Lover's Triangle
  188. Summoner of Darkness: Where Are You Hiding That Horse?
  189. Tired of people who don’t care. :( Tired of the harassment. :(
  190. What would happen if an Elf adopted a Human baby? | Writing Fantasy Books
  191. Page 10 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  192. Page 3 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  193. Page 8 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  194. SCRIPT FRENZY 2010: I WON! & Psycho Stalker Attacks
  195. Wristlets, Wrist Bags, Mini Clutch, Cosmetic Bags, and Designer Mini Purses
  196. Writing Your Novel: Do you save chapters as individual files?
  197. Are old AD&D adventures still any use to current players?
  198. Autistics Have Feelings Too & Diverse Books Rant
  199. Be True To You: YouTube Gamers: "Faking" a personality until you make it?
  200. City of The Slushies | Chapter 10 | Quaraun The Insane
  201. HEA in Erotica (Should You Write Happily Ever Afters?)
  202. Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies



dancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing banana


“Karma comes after everyone eventually. You can't get away with screwing people over your whole life, I don't care who you are. What goes aroMy Two Favorite People: FarDarrig and The Baby That Never Should Have Been

Need help writing characters of color | EelKat on racist white readers

und comes around. That's how it works. Sooner or later the universe will serve you the revenge that you deserve.” 

― Jessica Brody


"By autistic standards, the “normal” brain is easily distractible, is obsessively social, and suffers from a deficit of attention to detail and routine. Thus people on the spectrum experience the neurotypical world as relentlessly unpredictable and chaotic, perpetually turned up too loud, and full of people who have little respect for personal space." 

— Steve Silberman



Attempt Something New Today! – too many people talk about doing this or that but few actually take action, it's the why behind why so few succeed and so many fail.




I'm not made of money, I'm made out of glitter and kittens. 

~CinnamonToastKen 2017


“When people see you're happy doing what you're doing, it sort of takes the power away from them to tease you about it.” 

― Wendy Mass, Every Soul a Star




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“If you're horrible to me, I'm going to write a song about it, and you won't like it. That's how I operate.” 

― Taylor Swift



Bullies should never force you to  suffer in silence. If someone has hurt you, let others know.



“One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.” 
― Michael J. Fox



“I would rather be a little nobody, then to be a evil somebody.” 

― Abraham Lincoln


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"Do not fear people with Autism, embrace them, Do not spite people with Autism unite them, Do not deny people with Autism accept them for then their abilities will shine" 

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Be the hero, not the bully.





“1. Bullying is not okay. Period.

2. Freedom of religion does not give you the right to physically or verbally assault people.

3. If your sincerely-held religious beliefs require you to bully children, then your beliefs are fucked up.” 

― Jim C. Hines




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