EelKat Wendy C Allen - Dark Fantasy Author


UPDATE March 17, 2021: Another death. Waiting for a coffin to be delivered. Funeral the 21st. Unlikely to be streaming for a few weeks.


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Update: March 27, 2021: It's not even been a week since the funeral, and now there is another death and another funeral.



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UPDATE April 5, 2021: There are still no streams, as, we've now a another (a 3rd) funeral to prepare for.


And that is now 3 deaths in our family, in the past 2 weeks.


This 3rd death hits hard, because it was Pippi.


Our family has now had 13 deaths since March 2020.








April 10, 2015, 12 children were kidnapped.

May 15, 2015, the heads of 10 of them were nailed to my door.

August 24, 2020, one was found still alive. he was just 4 years old when she was kidnapped, but she remembered us, even though 5 years had passed.

August 25, 2020, Pippi came home, but her condition was not well. She had been tortured the entirety of the 5 years she had been held hostage. She was missing limbs and covered with scars, had broken bones many years not set, and suffered serious damage to many of her internal organs. That she was alive at all, in her condition, was a miracle. Doctors had little hope of her survival and she was sent home with Hospice care.

Pippi had cancer in her eye and needed surgery for it, which she was scheduled to have, shortly before she was kidnapped.

In the years they had her, not only did they torture her, but her cancer went untreated and spread to her brain.

By the time she was returned to us, her cancer had reached an inoperable state, so we knew she did not have much time left.

Had her cancer been treated, back when she was a toddler, she probably would have reach adulthood.

She died only 8 months after her return.

Another child, to cry out from the grave, for Etiole's vengeance upon her murderers. Another victim of evil men, who will stoop to no ends, to bury the crimes they committed 50 years ago.  Drug lords. Opium growers. Heroine dealers. Selling little girls 4 to 8 years old for sex to priests. They only care about money.

All hail the mighty tourist ass. Millions come to Old Orchard Beach every year, for one thing and one thing only: heroine. They sell their drugs to the tourists under the pier and off the balconies of that giant motel. Than drag little girls to the bedrooms of the condominiums on Smithwheel Road, behind the school. And any child who dares open their mouth and beg for help, gets tossed in the GooseFare Brooke Ravine.

Bastard drug lords. They've been doing this for 50 years, and the town hall and the police department, turn a blind eye to it, because they get paid $6million a year to not report it to the newspapers, when the body of another child washes down the ravine, into the gulley to be spit out in the ocean. No fewer than 5 bodies are found every summer, but how often does it get in the news?

The corruption of this fucking town needs to end.

Yet another dead at the hands of these criminals who run our town.

How long will the residents continue to turn a blind eye to what is happening in our town.

How many more children will you let them kill, before you stand up to them?

Another child is dead and no one in this town cares. So long as they get their money from the tourists. The blood of another murdered child screams from the graves, begging for justice. Tick tock, tick tock, so begins, yet another of Etiole's 7 year clocks.

This is why there were no/to few streams from May 2020 until now.

May 2020, after 4 years of not hearing from them at all, the FBI returned with a lead, which led to Pip's discovery a few weeks later in August.

Because of the nature of the situation, I could not talk about it, to tell you why streams had stopped.

The kidnappers, were enraged that we had recovered Pip, and that is when the attacks started up again on my home and family September 2020.

Pip's condition continued to grow worse, and she died April 5, 2021.

She was only 10 years old.

This is what it means, to not be white in America.

White men, won't even give a child the chance to grow up.

This is what white people do, to none white families like mine.

We are Gypsies with Jewish blood, for that alone we are hunted like animals.

What the men of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, did to my family, will never be forgotten or forgiven.




#If you have any information on the kidnappers or the murders...


#FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the of the April 10, 2015 kidnapping of my 12 children by 14 Ku Klux Klan men who invaded our home and the subsequent May 15, 2015 murder of 10 of the 12 whom had their heads nailed to my front door. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 


Have you forgot the extent of the damage these people did, all because, they wanted to dig up my land and removed bodies buried there, before my house builders found that barrel of bones?

Have you forgotten that 7 town hall workers, 5 public works men, a blond woman, her bald son, and her red haired sister Kendra, and 14 police officers, all lead by a man they referred to as "Mark who needs no last name" were the ones 

I name every one of them, except for the ring leaders: blond woman, her bald son, her sister Kendra, and her husband "Mark who needs no last name". I don't know who those 4 are. I'd never seen any of them, other than the Kendra woman before, and I only knew her fro her attacks beating me up at Panera in 2009, 2010, and 2013.

I can name every one of the others, because all I have to do is go to the Old Orchard Beach town hall and police department website, and their are their faces.

With the exception of blond woman, her bald son, her sister Kendra, and her husband "Mark who needs no last name", every one else involved was government official who works for the state of Maine vis the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall, the Old Orchard Beach Police Department, or the Old Orchard Beach Public Works.

And what exactly did they do?

August 8, 2013 they drove a backhoe over my house. That same backhoe drove over my previous house on the same land April 2007. That same backhoe drove over my poultry barn and horse stables July 2001. July 2001 was the first attack.

March 2015 was the the massive attack, with an entire fleet of trucks, and drove over the Church of the Holy Rhinstone, a church that stood on my land, my garage which is why I no longer have a garage to put my car in, my 2 sheds both of which had my tractors and other garden/crop machinery in them at the time. And of course the razing of the land, the cutting down of the apple orchard - the VERY apple orchard planted in 1530 that this town was named after... he actual "old orchard" of Old Orchard Beach... the very original trees - huge massive apple trees over 400 years old. The grape vineyards, the cherry trees, the pears trees. 

April 10, 2015, they returned, 4 police officer held me a gun point, while 10 other police officers held my children down with long poles with metal wire strangle loops on the end, and beat their faces in with cinder block bricks, knocking out every one of their teeth, breaking their jaws... POLICE OFFICERS DID THAT... while men they referred to as "Mark who needs no last name" and "Dan" stood there and told the police officers what to do, how to beat them, while "Mark who needs no last name" boldly bragged that he paid the Old Orchard Beach police $6million dollars to do this.

May 15, 2015... the heads, hands, feet, and intestines of my children were nailed to my door. Later that same day police officer W. W. came to my home begging for forgiveness and claimed that men he referred to only as "Mark and Dan" were holding his beloved mother-in-law hostage and torturing her, and he helped in the April 10, 2015 attack, only to save her life and get her back. He claimed he had no prior knowledge of what was going to happen, claiming that he'd been told they were only going to "scare" us. He said he had not expected anyone to get hurt, he had not known my children would be tortured and kidnapped, he had not known they were going to be murdered. He said he was scared for his life and lives of his family. And he said: "They form a small army, our department doesn't have enough man power to stop them, and every one in this town is too scared to fight back. You don't know what's going on. And I think they mixed you up with someone else. They didn't know you were the owner of this land. They didn't know that was your motorhome. They thought someone else owned this place. It wasn't even your family they were after. You were the wrong target. You don't know who these people are. What they've done to our families. This is the actual Mafia. The real deal. I'm so sorry. This is the address they sent us to. But they had a different name as the owner. This wasn't supposed to happen. They were after someone else. I'm so sorry. I couldn't let my family died. And now yours is dead instead. This wasn't supposed to happen."

June 19, 2016... I did a very specific livestream. You see... A., D., B., and T. in the 1970s and 1980s, were in the habit of dragging big black trash bags into the forest, crossing my land to do it, and dumping those bags into the Goosefare Brook Ravine. In 1983, 3 snuck into Etiole's swamp and planted 3 acres of Marijuana. Someone found it and called the police, I don't know who... it was Maine's largest drug raid for decades. Many, many millions in plants where dug up and removed from Etiole's swamp. A few weeks later A, & D,s 10 year old daughter ran into my yard, touched my car on a dare from other children - the 1964 Dodge 330 former Old Orchard Beach police car, known by Stephen King fans as the REAL Christine, The World's Most Haunted Car... than jumped her bike, and sped down the road, as fast as she could, head on into a car coming the other way. She died instantly, he brain shattered all over the end of my driveway, and her mother A responded by the Battle of 458 - the biggest mass shooting ever in Maine history, that ended up with 3 Gypsy clans and 2 police departments, in a shoot out between 70+ adults all armed with guns. One of my cousins, an 8 year old boy, standing 3 feet from me, had his eye shot out by one of the bullets. While A ran around the street screaming: "FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shot another child. 

"FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shoot another child. 

"FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shoot another child. 

THOSE are the 31 children, whose bones were sawed up and tossed into the GooseFare Brook Ravine... yes, that DOES mean, police officers KNEW those children were there and covered it up.  And I witnessed that entire event.

And THAT is WHY... when police officers murdered my family in 2015, I did a livestream, walking to the ravine, to show the world, where those bones were... because I'm sick and tired of the police corruption in this fucking town, and those sawed up bones of 31 children are PROOF of what this town government is like.... as are the heads of my children that were nailed to my door.

At the end of The Battle of 4-5-8... A. took 2 gas cans and poured them all over the big dome house, than set a match to it, and no one knew, why when she did her brother B., started running, jumped in his robin egg blue truck and backed down the driveway, hit Portland Ave doing 70 and didn't stop driving until the high speed chase caught him in CT... oh but we knew before he was out of sight, why he started running... the dome house went up like Hiroshima into a mushroom cloud that could be seen across the entire state... turns out there was a Meth lab in that house.

June 19, 2016... the livestream of the bones went viral, it's what made my YouTube channel suddenly explode overnight... and police officer W.W. upset, by the fact that, the livestream included the entire police call and response, and that response was to laugh and do nothing... fed up with the corruption in his department, he forwarded that livestream VOD to the FBI, and the FBI arrived in Old Orchard Beach, to dig up the Reclaim Blueberry Plains, and all hell broke lose in this town, as most of the police officers suddenly found themselves arrested. An entire new police force from out of state was brought in to replace the long time officers who had proven they could be trusted to uphold the law. Many town hall officials and public works employees also found themselves arrested by the FBI.

June 26, 2016... barely a week later... the blond woman and the red haired Kendra woman showed up at my workplace, Scarborough WalMart, and tried to kill me, yet again... these are the same 2 woman who attacked me with golf clubs at Southern Maine Community College November 14, 2013... they left dead in 2013, I was paralized for 5 months. It took me 18 months to relearn to walk. I was out of the wheel chair, and I was without a walker, I was without a cane. I had almost fully covered from their November 14, 2013 attack with golf clubs... June 26, 2016, this time they attacked with shopping carts, and I'm now crippled for the rest of my life. They shattered 3 vertebra this time and it can't be operated on. I had to relearn to walk a second time, and I'm not yet recovered now in 2021. In 2013 they drove away in the 4 door white pickup truck. In 2016 they drove away in a gold Volvo SUV station wagon.

That blond woman and her red haired Kendra sister, they are wanted by the FBI for attempted murder of me and they are also wanted in questioning for being suspected of also being the murderers of my children.

I don't know who these 2 women are.

The blond woman shows up my driveway frequently, screaming and yelling, sometime accompanied by a small child, about 5 years old, that she pulls behind her in a red radio flyer wagon. She looks to be about 60 or 70. She often wears a denim button down shirt and jeans. She's prone to yelling at passing cars, while pointing up my driveway, and saying: "There's EelKat, she tried to kill my husband."

I've never tried to kill anyone, so accusation is baffling at best.

She seems to think I know who she is, and has made the claim, that "I was that brat in school"... the red haired Kendra woman, sometimes with her, claims to be her sister, also appears to be 60 to 70 and also seems to think I know who she is, and frequently says: "You bullied me in school, but no more, I'm Kendra SilverMander it's my turn to shine."

They BOTH make the claim they went to school with me, and yet, I never went to school, a well documented fact... because I'm the child the FBI rescued what the news media called "Maine's House of Horrors". I was locked in a cage when I was 8 years old. I was let out on Sundays, to go to church, and not allowed to speak or make eye contact with anyone, and this was only done infrequently, whenever church goers asked what happened to that girl you had". I was 31 years old when the FBI arrived, because of Heaven's Gate having killed 39 people, and my uncle being one of the members and self proclaiming himself as the leader of Heaven's Gate after Applewhite's death. The FBI was investigating the murder of 39 people in California, and had no idea they'd find children in cages in Maine as a result.

So you see, when the blond woman and her Kendra sister, make the claim they went to school with me and I was the class bully who beat them up, this is easily proven false, because the time period when I should have been in school, I was locked in a cage, being tortured by my sadistic uncle Bruce.

Also, they are in their late 60s to mid 70s... making them older than my parents, so how could I have been in school with them, even if I had gone to school? At best I would have been starting pre-school the year they would have been graduating high school.

These things they say about school, only further agrees with what police officer W. W. said May 15, 2015, when he made the claim, they had gotten me mixed up with someone else.

July 2016, a month after the shopping cart attack... yet another Old Orchard Beach police officer arrived, this one accompanied by 2 Biddeford officers, who had been former OOB officers... these 3 officers, had a vastly eye opening story to tell me.

They had been called to Old Orchard Beach, to my farm, to arrest me, a call made to them, by a man named Mark, whom one of these officers, claimed was his brother in law. This Biddeford officer, said he requested to transfer ot of Old Orchard Beach department years ago, because his sister (whom he claimed he suspected, but could not prove was the blond woman whom had attacked me at WalMart) was quote "trying to control the town" he said "treats Old Orchard Beach like a dynasty, thinks she's a duchess, has severe mental disorders, and thought she could buy the police department". He went on to say, she got in with the real Mafia years ago and went to her head, and now she thinks she IS the Mafia and most of Old Orchard Beach's business owners, especially the motel owners are scared shitless of her, because they believe her claim to be Mafia. He went on to say, she's not Mafia, but she's good at convincing people she is and stated "I wouldn't murder beyond her. She'd do it just to prove she is Mafia." He said he transferred out of OOB department to Biddeford department because he was fed up with how easy it was for her to get every officer to do anything she asked. He said "the corruption in that department runs deep; don't cross her or any officer she controls; they WILL kill you and every around you. You don't know who her husband is. He doesn't just control that town, he controls half the state."

What he was telling me was bizarre on extremes, but even more bizarre was the live feed radio call, that he had me listen too, as it was happening, on my farm in Old Orchard, while I was at my dad's house in Biddeford.

He said: "The Old Orchard Department called me, asked me to come over here. Buddy Will wanted to prove you were not in Old Orchard and that Mark has you mixed up with someone else. That fucking bastard is crying wolf and trying to frame you, we can prove it right now. We are fucking fed up WolfBoy."

He turned on his radio, so I could hear. A what I heard... a man whose voice I do not recognize, yelling at a Officer W.W. and saying: 

"That is Wendy, arrest her now! That is EelKat. She tried to kill me."

While officer W.W. and another officer, told the man: "his isn't Wendy. We have officers with her right now. Who tried to kill you? Wendy? Or THIS woman right here?"

"This woman right here! This is EelKat I tell you! Arrest her! What do you think I pay you for! You aren't allow to defy me! I own this town! You are my slaves. I command you to arrest her!"

W.W.: "This isn't EelKat. This isn't Wendy. I've known her for years. And right now, she's on the other side of the state. With 3 officers, listening to you right now. You are NOT the law. We've had it with you. You don't own me. And you've mixed her up with someone else. You've been harassing the wrong damned person. You dare call us about Wendy ever again, and I will personally arrest you for false reports, than I'll tell them everything. You'll never see the outside a prison for the rest of your life when I get done with you. You fucking leave this woman alone. You destroyed her life, because you couldn't tell her apart from someone else."

I used to aqua jog, mountain climb, horseback riding, and I hiked 13 miles a day. And in the blink of an eye, that lifestyle was taken away, and every day was struggle, just to sit up and breath, with no hope of ever walking again. I defied doctors. It's been 8 years and I can move around the house by holding on to things and I now can walk again, at the moment only short distances outside with a cane, and the hope is to continue to improve. I still have a long road of recovery ahead. But I'm walking again, something that 8 years ago, doctors said would never happen. 

My farm was razed.

My family was murdered.

I was 5 months paralysed, and had to relearn to walk. It was 8 years ago and I'm not yet fully recovered due to 3 inoperable vertebrae and hip dysplasia. November 14, 2013, 10PM, at WalMart, while putting bags of groceries in the back seat of my car, I was attacked by 3 rapists armed with metal golf clubs, who left me parallelized, in a wheel chair, broken spine, broken hip, broken pelvis, broken knees, serve nerve damage to my left side limiting the use of my left hand, my bladder incontinent from nerve damage, they left me for dead, and I had doctors telling me I would never walk again.

There's more that has happened. A lot more. The thousands of gallons of sewage they pumped into my motorhome in 2015. The cats. the Ptarmagin cats. World famous groups of cats. You remember them. If so, you remember what these people did to those cats. Poisoned. All dead the same day. 12 cats. Dead to what the vet described as: "enough poison to kill a great dane". My horse, she had her head beat in with a rock. My bantam roosters... 70 pet roosters, hung by their necks in rope nooses in my rose bushes.

All because this man, this mystery Mark, whose last name seems to be known to the police but is still unknown to me and man whom I've never seen or met - he keeps his face covered whenever he shows up... mistook me for someone else... and police officers and town hall workers and public work employees.

Welcome to Old Orchard Beach... this is NOT the way life should be, you know it.

What these people did to me, should never have happened, and according to the police, it's been happening for 50+ years to hundreds of people, hundreds of families, in this town, and every one is too scare to talk about it or fight back to stop it. That NEEDS to change.

The corruption in our town, needs to stop... but it won't end, until every last person who is being harassed by these people stand up, put their foot down, and say enough is enough, we ain't gonna take this any more.

We the people of Old Orchard Beach need to take back our town.


NOTE: Chat is set to emote only on my Twitch channel and my personal contact information has been removed from my website and every place else, due to the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of false reports of "information", along with vile hateful memes about the murder of my family being sent to me by trolls who think mocking the murder of my family is funny.

FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the of the April 10, 2015 kidnapping of my 12 children by 14 Ku Klux Klan men who invaded our home and the subsequent May 15, 2015 murder of 10 of the 12 whom had their heads nailed to my front door. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 



If you could recommend I watch one VOD that best represented your channel, which would it be?

This one....




The Princess Bride predicting Covid-19?

Avallac'h's a Good Tutor?
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EXTREME SPOILER WARNING!

Please be aware that nearly every page on this website contains spoilers to something. I talk about a lot of fandoms, and go into great detail analyzing them when I do.

If I am talking about The Witcher series, InuYasha, Disney Ducks, the Quaraun series, or any other fandom, you WILL encounter spoilers about it.

If I'm analyzing an author's (Hemingway, Poe, Rowling, etc.) writing style you WILL encounter spoilers for their books.

If I'm talking about movies, cartoons, TV shows, comic books, novels, plays, short stories, video games, or pretty much anything else, you WILL meet spoilers along the way.

No matter who it is or what it is, if I am talking about it, I'm going to be talking about it WITHOUT avoiding spoilers.

This website is full of spoilers and this is your only warning!

Turn back now if you want to avoid seeing spoilers!






Taxes

Taxes, reporting royalties, and dealing with the IRS for writers, authors and other independent contractors.

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"How do I handle taxes?"

Legally I can not tell you how to handle your taxes, because I am not a banker, accountant, tax adviser, or any other type of money guru. I can only tell you what it is I do, and than from there it's up to you to find an accountant to tell you if they agree or not.

The first choice you have here is to decide are you going to do your own filing or are you going to hire a professional to file for you?

Me personally I file my own taxes and I do it "long form" which means I save all receipts all year long and I itemize every single item, right down to my grocery lists. I know where every penny I spend goes. I know where every penny I earn came from and went to, and I know what is a deductible and what is not.

I keep such good records of my budget, earnings, and expenses that people looking over my records have joked "You keep records like a stingy old Scotsmen."

To which I answer, "Well, duh! I AM Scottish after all, what do you expect?"

Next thing you need to ask yourself is: "Am I a professional writer running a business and making a living off my career as an author? Or am I a hobby writer writing in my spare time and making a little bit of money here and there in the sidelines?"

It makes a difference. And it is one of the questions you will find asked on the IRS forms. It'll be worded more like: 

"Are you running a business out of your home or is this a hobby income" or something to that effect.

They change the wording every year, so it's always different but basically they want to know are you bringing in this income as a full time career or a part time hobby. They will ask you to fill out different forms depending on how you answer. And than while filling out the forms. if your income is deemed too high to be a hobby or too low to be a business, than they will ask you to change forms and fill out completely different forms. Just follow the instructions as you go and change forms when they tell you to. It's not as hard as it sounds.

How can you tell if you are employed as a writer or just writing for a hobby? Ask yourself these questions and find out:

  • Are you a full-time writer, earning your entire income (little as it may be) from your writing?
  • Are all your eggs in this one basket? (Writing is your only source of income.)
  • Do you have many baskets of eggs? (Multiple streams of income, one of them being writing.)
  • Are you living off your life savings, your spouse, your parents, your siblings, your friends, and or your kids while you write that Great American Novel or bestselling Romance or a series of epic fantasies (or whatever other genre you got hiding up your sleeve and pulling out your ass)?
  • Have you set aside a separate office space (even if it's just a desk in the corner of your bedroom) in your house where you can write undisturbed?
  • Are you working towards making a living from writing, even if you have another job (or person) supporting you while you earn only pennies a month?
  • Do you have a regular type 9-to-5 job and write articles here and there for extra income?

If you answered yes to any of these questions than the IRS sees your writing as an occupation or career and thus you are running a business whether you think you are or not and you have to declare yourself as self employed. Writing is your career, your occupation, what you do to earn a living, and now you have to answer to the IRS.

There are differences between businesses and hobbies (or what the IRS calls a business verses a hobby, which may not be what you would personally call a business or a hobby) in how you report your income , so the first thing you need to establish is whether you are involved in this as a full time career or a hobby that pays you money. And than if the IRS disagrees with which ever one you decide you are, than go with what they say you are, because in the end it's pointless to argue with the government.

Whatever the IRS tells you you are, that is what you are. And remember that losses from hobbies are not allowed. Big no-no with lots of bad juju here. When you receive income from a hobby, you must include the gross income (whatever you got, without deducting any expenses against it) on the "other income" line of your tax return.

You can't just say "Oh, it's a hobby, I only made $400 last year from it. It doesn't count."

Yes it does. Don't matter that it is under $600 if you made more than $600 elsewhere. You got to add it IN ADDITION to any other incomes you may have.

Before you start filling out forms, the first thing you need to know is that as a writer, you are a self-employed independent contractor.


You have no boss over you taking out your taxes from your pay.

 We are special because we get paid with royalties, so we have to fill out special forms.

You need those 30 to 40 page extra-long, long-forms that the IRS provides for people like us.

Also April is not the time to start thinking about the IRS. Nope. It isn't. You will need to worry about the IRS, and soon, in fact BEFORE you publish your book, because as a self-employed tax payer you need to get your tax forms now (long ones) and start keeping careful records of every expense you make save all your store receipts (for paper, printer, computer, desk, munchies, etc) now so you can tell the IRS every penny you spent in the production of your book.

You should have been thinking about the IRS long before you started creating your first character or plot line.

Why?

Because they'll charge you $250,000 and 25 years in prison if you don't pay taxes on any royalties you receive for your book and they expect you to have kept a record of every penny you spent, otherwise they'll be knocking on your front door to do an audit. There’s no way around paying self-employment tax.

If you've never been self employed before you are in for a shock. Why? Because it’s going to be a lot more than you imagined! Let's say you are in the 15% tax bracket. That means you pay 15% of your income come April right? WRONG! It means you pay 30% of your income, PLUS that little bit extra (about another 7%) that goes into your Social Security and Medicare fund.

That's right. If you are in the 15% bracket, that means you are handing 40% of your income over to the Internal Revenue Service.

Why you ask? Well, when you work for someone else, your boss pays half your taxes all year long. AND your boss also pays your Social Security and Medicare fund for you. Wasn't that nice of him? Why you never knew he was a such a sweetheart now did you? He must really have liked you, what paying half your taxes for you like that and all, right?

No. Not really. He wasn't doing it because he liked you, he was doing it to keep his ass out of prison. He was required to do it, and he didn't do it out of his own money either. No he did not. He took it out of your pay check. o.0

Doesn't sound like such a nice guy anymore, huh? Well, hold your horses, because now that he's out of the picture you gotta put on your big boy pants and pay those fees yourself now.

What this all means is that every time you earned $1,000 your boss took out 15% ($150) and paid it to the IRS (each pay check, all year long) and also took out 7% ($70) and paid your Social Security and Medicare fund. So every time you earned $1,000, you actually received a paycheck of only $780. But than come April you also had to pay 15%, so you than paid an additional $150 for each $1,000 you earned throughout the year, only you paid it all at once in April, instead of $150 a week at a time all year long.

So, for every $1,000 your earn you only get to keep $630 of it. $1,000 -15% - 15% - 7% = $630 in your pocket. So if you earned $24,000 throughout the year on your book royalties, you owe the IRS $8,880 come April.

(Tax rates change yearly, so be sure to check the current figures.)

And if you weren't paying that 15% + 7% weekly, than you sure as better hope you have that $8,880 laying around in your mattress somewhere, or growing on a tree in your backyard, because if you don't hand it over on April 15th the IRS is going to start adding some hefty interests rates on it.

Yes, that does mean if your earned $24,000 this year that your ACTUAL income was only $15,120 minus expenses.

See if you had been paying your 15% + 7% throughout the year (like a boss would have done) than you'd only owe $3,600 on April 15th.

And if instead of putting on your macho big boy parts you went a put on your fancy dancy frilly smarty pants, well than you'd been really smart, and you would have just taken 40% off the top of every paycheck and mailed it in to the IRS on a weekly basis.

Why is this smart? Because on April 15th, the IRS would be sending YOU a check. They'd calculate how much you sent verses how much you actually owed (which is less than 40%, but you sent 40% to be on the safe side in case you over looked anything) and they sent back any extra that you over paid during the year.

Yay you! Boowah!

Plus, you'd have shown the IRS that in spite of your pink polka dotted smarty pants you are wearing, you ain't just clowning around here, you mean to be around a long time, you mean to make this business venture a successful career, so you did your homework and did your job like a professional.

You are a writer now. You are running a business. You are self employed. You need to start acting like a business owner, and as a business owner, you pay your taxes on time every week, not once a year.

As a writer you are a service provider, the type of self employed that the IRS called an independent contractor. You are your own boss. Ain't it great? No one telling you what to do, when to do it, you can sleep in, work late, skip work a few days, take month long vacations, work in your pajamas, answer emails while wearing a clown suit, do all those crazy fun things being your own boss let's you do, including paying those weekly 15% of your pay to the IRS and that weekly 7% to the Social Security and Medicare fund, so come April you only have to pay that other 15% as a one lump sum ...

Whoops, oh dear, so it's April next week and you're telling me you never heard of any of this, you spent all your income on that new car and new home office complete with entertainment system, you couldn't afford those pink polka dotted smarty paints because you spent all your cash on a smart phone instead (which isn't seeming so smart right now is it?) you're strapped for cash, you couldn't possibly come up with 15% in a week, let alone 40% what are you going to do?

Well, prison is probably in your near future so you'll have 2 or 3 years of sitting in a cell to think about it and tell yourself how stupid you were for not looking up the tax laws before you started writing your first book.

As an independent contractor, you are responsible for reporting all taxable income earned through the sales of your books, articles, poems, scripts, and short stories.  Including all those taxes and Social Security and Medicare fees that your boss used to pay throughout the year. Just because you are your own boss now, don't mean you can get out of paying all those weekly income taxes your boss used to pay for you. You’re the boss as well as the employee now, so you gotta pay both sides of the coin now!

It's time for you to stop being a baby, put on your Jedi uniform, and grow up. Repeat after me:

You are an independent contractor. Say it:

"I am an independent contractor."

You are your own boss. Go on. Say it:

"I am my own boss."

You must shape up or ship out. You must get off your ass and start acting like you are the boss. You must pay taxes every week throughout the year.

Your turn...

"I will shape up or ship out. I will get off my ass and start acting like I am the boss. I will pay my income taxes every week throughout the year."

These are not the droids you are looking for...

You do not see a dancing StormTrooper...

If your income is more than $600 per year, you will receive a 1099 form from the company/publisher who pays your royalties.

For example if you self-publish your books through Amazon Kindle or Lulu, or if you are published via a traditional publishing house such as Harlequin or Scholastic , they (Amazon, Lulu, Harlequin, or Scholastic) will send a 1099 form to you every February.

If you have printed your book up via a vanity press, do tread carefully with the IRS. The IRS views authors who publish via vanity press as tax dodgers, and they correctly assume as much because most of the vanity press authors are in fact tax dodgers, though not intentionally.

 Vanity Press published authors often get in trouble with the IRS over not keeping good records. When it comes to the IRS working with Vanity Press can be too tricky to handle unless you are really good at tracking every penny in and every penny out.

EVERY penny.

Also you may think you are running a business, running your ass all over hell and back advertising and marketing and shipping out books, but if you are using vanity presses to print up books that you keep in a storage unit or your neighbors attic or wherever you found to fit those 10,000 copies of your book you paid for, the IRS is more likely than not, going to call you a hobbyist and tell you that you are not eligible for all those office supply deductibles you been keeping track of. If your writing is a hobby, then your gross income from it would be included on your IRS forms, but your expenses can not produce a loss.

Because you pay (often in excess of $20,000) up front to have a thousand or so books printed (and than stacked floor to ceiling in your garage, till you can find a place to peddle them), you have literally purchased your books wholesale price and are reselling them at retail, and thus there is no one paying you royalties, and likewise no one mailing that 1099 form out to you come February.

Remember the ISBN number you had to slap on your book? The IRS tracks those numbers as a way to see how many copies of your book sold. They compare those figures to your tax records come tax time, so if you don't report your sales, they will know, because they already know.


The IRS can't track your ISBN if you are selling at a craft fair or off your website. That's what the ISBN number is for: to keep authors honest come tax time.

Your publisher (Harlequin, Amazon, etc) keeps track of those ISBNs for you (and this is why they ask you for your SSN when you publish the book - so they can say to the IRS, this SSN sold this many ISBNs and here a copy of that 1099 we sent them). Vanity Presses don't ask for your SSN because they don't track your ISBN or report to the IRS or send you a 1099, and that is what the difference is between a self-published book and a vanity press book.

What's even worse are the authors who skip the ISBN all together. ("I don't need to buy an ISBN, I'll sell my book without it.") The IRS sees them as outright criminals, not only avoid taxes, but avoiding telling them you even wrote a book at all!

The issue with vanity press is, the press prints up your books and than you the author sells the books yourself either at local craft fairs or off a website or rarely from local bookstores. 

You have to keep very careful records of how many books sold where, and if the IRS comes knocking on you door asking for proof you DID NOT sell those book, you sure as hell better have the books right there in your garage to prove you didn't sell them yet, other wise you'll be looking at some hefty fines from the IRS and possible prison time.

It is precisely because things get so sticky with the IRS, that is exactly why I always tell authors to NEVER, EVER, EVER publish through a vanity press. Most authors are good a one thing: writing. Few authors have good math and accounting skills. If you are an author with good accounting skills than maybe you can make vanity press work, but for most authors it's just asking for trouble come tax time.

If you are going to self publish, make sure you go with a company like Amazon or Lulu, one that will keep good royalty records and send you a 1099 form come tax time. It'll save you months of headache.

For more information, please refer to the IRS website and their page written specifically for independent contractors such as yourself. And remember that the IRS changes the rules and laws every single year so what you thought you knew about taxes from last year will probably not apply to your taxes next year. Make sure you read all the fine print on the forms and check their website often for updates.








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