You have encountered an extremely old website that continues to exist in old web ways, the same way it has done for now three decades.
In spite of being now 30 years old this year, started in 1996, it is still heavily active and old pages updated daily, new pages added daily, still now in 2026. All hand written, all hand coded (no AI), all by me, same as it ever was.
We Still Exist: The Old Web Did Not Go Away, You Just Forgot How To Find Us
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This site was NOT designed for mobile devices (as they had not been invented yet when I created it) thus this site looks best on a computer, at 1280x768 or above. |
This is a very old website created in 1996, so, yes, javascript is needed for the site to work as it should. If things don't function, you may need to update javascript drivers on your device |
This site tries to be mobile friendly but it's been online since 1996, so old pages may not load right on mobile devices, and as this site has had pages added near daily for 30 years there are now over 20k pages here. |
Having started out in life as a GeoCities site, this site contains glitter, bright colours, blinkies, moving gifs, and other things the old web was known for. |
f you are here looking for aliens, ufos, demons, cryptids, haunted cars, curses, Etiole, the wild man of old orchard beach, the goldeneagle car, the white monkey, or any of that other weird bullshit, you want this video:
...and after that video, you want these ones:
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If you want some stories to get you started in The Pink Necromancer series, reading these first will give you a good introduction to the 3 main characters:
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My Elves Are JellyFish...and I asked Google AI and ChatGPT 5.6 what they thought of this.
As requested, my daily writing prompt series is now available print paperback editions on Amazon.
There are 20 volumes of this writing prompt series currently planned and in varying stages of finishing, hopefully all 20 will be published by the end of 2026. I likely will do a 2nd series of writing prompt books in 2027.
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The first of the Visual Novels/Video Games for The Adventures of Quaraun the Inane/The Pink Necromancer series is published and available on Itch.io, there are 3 more planned for release in 2026, 6 more planned for release in 2027, and the big 60-hour 80k word 150 page one (Quaraun Goes To the Fair) is planned for a 2028 release.
There is a Pink Necromancer card game and a Pink Necromancer board game, as well as a Pink Necromancer table top RPG supliment for Dungeons and Dragons, all in the works, and to be released over the next couple of years as well.
I shouldn't have to say this, but people keep contacting me, so apparently I do:
If you have any information about my son’s murderer, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
Do you know who this woman is?
On August 8, 2013 she drove a backhoe over my house. On November 14, 2013 she arrived at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me with a golf club and murdered my son. One June 24, 2016, days after my first attempts to walk again, she attacked me with a shopping cart at Scarborough, Walmart, reinjuring the Nov 14, 2013 injury.
She crippled me when I was 8 months pregnant, a woman with a golf club, severed my spine and bashed my baby's head in, I spent 9 years relearning to walk, and the FBI is 13 years into the murder investigation and not yet id-ed the attacker who crippled me and killed my baby, both violently with a golf club.
Complete details of EVERYTHING she did is on this page here.
The golf club woman who called herself Clair as she looked November 14, 2013. Her hair is a weird chin leangth pageboy (very Medival style cut) platinum blonde with wide brown/black dyed stripes in it (like a reverse of Lily Munster, but the stripes are several, almost like a zebra). I am 5'6" and she was a LOT taller then me, like closer to the height of a man; she had thin lips like a man, and large nose like a man... she COULD have been a man disguised as a woman, given the ease with which she severed my spine....she's is a LOT stronger then is typical for a woman). She was wearing a chambre blue denim "blazer jacket over shirt" and a button up mens shirt (possibly flannel) and blue jeans. The bulk of her yelling was focused on accusing me of being transgender, even while ripping my baby out of my 8 month pregnant belly and bashing his head in with a golf club. |
The Claire woman as she looked during her shoping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart June 2016, the attack with left me paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Her hair was dyed dark red, and she drove away in a gold Volvo 240 Station Wagon of a late 1980s/early1990s model, with a "458" on the lisnce plate.... If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
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If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
Good god! We just found out about yet another slanderous rumour this woman has been spreading? When does it end? How many more of these things are out there?
Video explains what else she's done ...
If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
If you encounter anyone claiming my car is haunted, demon possessed, or somehow connected to Stephen King please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
If you encounter anyone claiming I believe in aliens or was an alien abducttee, please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |

I wrote an article in 2007 called "Are Flamers Good For PageRank?" after one of my articles received a bad review from a blogger, and the next morning I found myself #1 on page 1 of Google. Well, today (September 15, 2013) I find it happening once again, but oddly from a domain that is not yet indexed by Google (it can take up to 8 months for Google to index a newly registered domain name.)
I was wondering how often does this happen to folks? I registered my domain, and 3 days later a guy (who apparently trolls for newly registered SBI sites to bad mouth via bad reviews on his blog) writes a blog post telling people "well, here's another idiot who was duped into joining SBI", and now I'm getting traffic from his post, which I wouldn't mind if my site was ready for visitors, but I just registered it so obviously it's not.
I only registered my domain a few (13) days ago. My site isn't even close to being ready for visitors, I'm still building it. Granted it does have 84 pages up already (though not yet easy to find as the T3 pages are not yet linked up to the T2 pages; my T2 to T3 link ups are a nightmare right now - still sorting that out), nearly that many more in draft, and most of the ones that are up are supposed to be in draft, but I forgot to click the draft box before hitting the build button. The place is a mess right now and I won't be telling people how to find the new site until at least October or later, because I'm not READY for traffic yet. It is going up fast, but this is because I'm moving an old site that I started in 1997, and it had 6,000 pages on it. I'm moving because the old host had serious server issues which ended up erasing 30,000 websites, including mine. Thank goodness I had copies of every page on my site stored on a back up drive in my house, otherwise I wouldn't be able to start over on a new host like this. (The old host btw, was a "free host" so my url was HOSTNAME.COM/MYNAME/NAMEOFPAGE. This is the first time I have used a personal registered domain.)
So, here's the thing. My boyfriend asks me this morning "Any traffic to your new site yet?"
I laugh and say "Of course not, silly, I only just registered the new domain last week, it takes Google 3 to 6 months to index a new domain. I won't be getting traffic till next summer."
He says "Well have you checked your traffic stats?"
"No."
So, I go to check my stats and see that I had 323 unique visitors today, :shock: almost as many yesterday, and all week every day has had no fewer than 170 visitors.
I'm thinking to myself: What the heck? That's not right. Something's
wrong here. I know the traffic is not from Google and I've only told 3
people about my site so far, where is this traffic coming from? And why?
Why are people looking at my site already?
I don't want people
looking at my site yet, it's a mess still, I'm not ready for people to
look at it yet. I'm still deciding what goes where and moving things
around and deleting pages, adding pages, editing pages after publishing
them, realizing I was suppose to click the "save draft" box before
clicking the build button but forgot - again. (thus there are now
several pages "published" that are not done yet, that are supposed to
still be drafts! whoops!) It'll be another month at least before I'll be
ready for people to start looking around the place. How in the heck did
they even find it?
So I check the page which lists where the
traffic is coming from. It's coming from exactly 4 places: FaceBook,
Twitter, The Warriors Forum, and 72% of the traffic (the first few days)
came from a blog.
I had never heard of either the forum or the
blog before so no clue what they were. I went to visit them and found
that someone had written a bad review/rant about SBI and how much they
hated it (I ended up joining the Warriors Forum so I could reply to the
thread than promptly left as that place appears to be heavy in the "I
want to gang up on people and yell mindless insanity" type of posters.) I
read the thread and the blog post (both written by the same person and
each of which linking back to my site) and was WOW! The guy ranted on
calling me every nasty name under the sun, than concluded that I was "a
verbose idiot without a college education" along with "don't believe me,
just have a look at her website!"
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I happen to be an English Major, as well
as the author of 30+ books, 200+ short stories, a few dozen plays,
2,000+ articles, and I write 2 advice columns, and since 1978 have won
13 writing awards. It is very obvious that the post-writer never heard
of me before and has no clue what he is talking about in his
descriptions of who he thinks I am and what he thinks my site is.
Near
as I can tell, he is someone on the SBI forums (who is also a member of
the Warrior Forums AND is the owner of that blog) who clicked on my
link in my signature (it's the only place you can find my url in order
to get to my site, seeing how it's not ready for visitors and I thus
have not advertised it anyplace yet! and I have no choice in the sig
link thing, SBI just adds it there to your post in the forum
automatically) and used my (at the time 3 day old) site to point out how
SBIers put up crappy empty sites with useless content!(Side
thought: only webmasters who build SBI sites have access to the SBI
forums, so doesn't that mean this guy who hates SBI is himself a
webmaster using SBI to host his own sites?)
Thing is on the day
he wrote that "bad review" post my site was only 3 days old, empty and
only had one page on it saying "under construction" with a 3,000 word
explanation about the old server crash and that I was moving the old
pages (all 6,000 of them) one at a time as fast as possible so I could
get the site back online for my (7,000+ subscribed) readers of the old
site - which had also hosted both of my advice columns. It also
explained that I chose to use SBI for the new site, because of the C2.0
which I felt would make it easier for my readers to ask questions for my
advice column.
That is the page he is sending people to
- the page explaining the server crash of the old host and why I
decided to use SBI to host it this time around. That page was put up for
my long-time fans/followers/readers/subscribers to the old site's RSS
who I knew would eventually end up on my site (the url is my real name)
on their own. That page speaks directly to my long time readers,
referencing to things only they would understand the meaning of (events
which happened just before the server crash), thus does not make sense
to the casual browser, but it was not intended for the casual browser.
The page is there to say: "Yes, I'm still online, everything's okay,
here's what happened, I'm working as fast as I can to get a new site up
to replace the old one, see you guys soon."
From glancing around
the Warriors Forum I saw a lot of anti-SBI rant threads, apparently they
make a habit of attacking newly registered SBI sites, which they are
being alerted to by that blogger, whose blog is like a database of
"here's the latest sucker to buy SBI, go check out their site so you
know to boycott it in the future".
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If the guy knew anything at all about SEO, Google, Panda, or Penguin,
he'd know that the single most important thing a website needs to get
high search page rankings on Google is back-links. |
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Every time he sends a link back to one of these sites which he hates, he sends a vote of "hey this is a great site, I'm going to recommend it by linking to it and sending my traffic to it," to Google. Google sees him linking to all these SBI sites and goes "Hey these must be really good sites, they are getting plenty of back links from this guy" and so Google boosts the rankings of each of the SBI sites he has linked to. |
On the other hand if the guy knew anything at all about SEO, Google, Panda, or Penguin, he'd know that the single worst thing a website can do is to link out to other sites. Google looks at all those links all willy nilly all over his site and says "Yeah, this site can't be too important because they are just directing traffic away from themselves, let's ding them" and thus his own site's ranking goes down.
It seems to me that perhaps this guy has an alteria motive in his sending out massive waves of links to all these SBI sites which he supposedly hates. SBI allows us to track our traffic from our dashboards, thus we know where every single visitor came to us from. Running an SBI hosted site himself, he knows this. He also knows that when a site gets a bad review from a blog, chances are really high that the site owner is going to do one or both of two things:
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Most SBI site owners are going to do both (and from the look of his site, they often do.) What this guy is doing is using a sneaky tactic to raise traffic and VISITOR INTERACTION on his blog.
Google likes visitor interaction. Google loves it when someone comments on your post. Google thinks it's just the bees knees when someone comments on your posts, shares it on FaceBook and than write a rebuttal linking back to you. Get someone to do that and Google will heaping mounds of sticky sweet sugar dumplings on you and send your site flying to page one. And that's EXACTLY why this guying is running around like a loony bin giving bad reviews to every SBI site he can find.
He's desperately trying to get you so angry that you'll comment on his post about your site, than he wants you to share his post on FaceBook to tell your friends to read how shitty he treated you, and than he's hoping you'll rush back to your own site and tell your visitors to head back to his site again, via linking to him from your site. This guy his playing on human nature and using reverse psychology to try to dupe you into falling for his little scam.
He knows that most will get angry and send lots of links back to him:
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"Look what this jerk (link) said about me and my site! See? (link) He said I suck (link). And I had a look around and look what he said about my buddy on this other post (link), and OMG he's so wrong in his review (link) of SEO, and what is he talking about on this page (link)? |
The typical angry rebuttal review is going to link to his site at least once, but in most cases a minimum of 4 times, linking to 4 separate pages of his site. It will also say the name of his blog on average 12 times! And will mention his name no less than 7 times.
And this is exactly what this guy is looking for. Google doesn't care that you are angry and giving this guy a really bad review. All Google cares about is you used really good SEO to link to multiple pages of his blog, say the name of his blog multiple times, and said the name of the blog owner several times. In Google's metallic robot eyes, this is good juju and reason to pat this guy on the back and reward him with a boost in page rank.
This guy is using dirty below the belt tactics to get high search results on Google, by trying to get HIGH QUALITY SITE OWNERS to mention him and link to him several times. This is why he choice SBI to host his own site, and why he chooses SBI sites to diss. SBI does have high quality sites and most of them are getting page 1 Google search results, thus he links to as many SBI sites as he can, gives them bad reviews knowing the owners are more likely to respond to a bad review than a good review, and knowing his chances are good at getting plenty of links and name dropping to help boost his page rank on Google.
Dirty pool.
A smart SBI site owner would foil his lame attempts at Google stardom by NOT commenting on his blog and when they do write a rebuttal, they simply in no place on their site EVER mention the name of his blog, the name of the blog owner, or place a link to his blog post. Because I refuse to play his game and send my hard earned traffic to his site, his site does not get that boost in Google rankings that he was hoping to get from me. Sorry, SugarPlum, but I've been around the SEO block to many times to be fooled into recommending you to Google that way.
However, this guy is playing with an old double edge SEO sword here. And there is more than one reason why you should not link back to his site now that he is linking to yours.
If the guy knew anything at all about current SEO, Google, Panda, or Penguin, he'd know that link exchanges are website suicide. You start requesting link exchanges and Google will blacklist you. Super big SEO no-no. The only time you want to use link exchange on your site is if you have a tiny free hosted web site you are only sharing with a few friends and family and are not relying on Google to drive traffic to.
Google doesn't like the whole "I linked to you, please link to me," gig. That is old SEO that worked years and years ago, but not today, not with Panda or Penguin lurking about waiting to bitchslap your website to the black-list.
Years ago it used to be the sites with the most links in and out got the highest search results on Google, now those same sites aren't even indexed in Google.
The more links you have going out, the lower your search results in Google, while the more links coming in, the higher your search results on Google.
Linking to your own pages on your own site, good juju.
Linking to other websites hoping they will give you a link back, bad juju.
Isn't he kind of stabbing himself in the foot by linking to sites he hates and sending his traffic to them? It's silly because a lot of the articles on his site focus on SEO, Google, Panda, and Penguin, and yet most of his information is just plain wrong. His articles are very "I hate SBI because SEO on their site's suck, here's the way SEO should not be done, see look at how sucky this site is" and posts yet another link to yet another SBI site, driving eve more traffic to it.
Apparently his blog's readers however, after reading his bad review than
visiting my site as he suggested, liked what they found on my site
enough to keep coming back every day, and are posting it on FaceBook and
Twitter to tell their friends to check it out as well.
It looks
like this guy tries to stop traffic from SBI sites by bad mouthing them
with bad reviews, but it also looks like by doing so he is inadvertently
driving traffic to the sites he wants people to avoid!
And yet his own website is hosted by SBI. I wonder, does SBI know he is using SBI to host an anti SBI site? Is this guy using any logic? It costs $30 a month to host a site with SBI. If he hates them so much why is he paying them $30 a month? He calls people who buy SBI sites "suckers" on his site hosted by SBI. So what does that make him? Can anybody say hypocrite?
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*sigh* |
I'm
guessing getting traffic this way (from people telling people to avoid
your site) must be pretty common. You worry about getting traffic from
Google and all, but you never think about getting traffic from "bad
reviews" from bloggers.
Has anybody else ever gotten a wave of traffic from a bad review about their site on a blog?
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My advice to you, dear reader, is: if this ever happens to you, ignore the bad review. Once you realize you are reading a bad review, stop reading it. Don't even finish it. Close the page without reading the rest of it. It ain't worth another second of your time.
When you get in the entertainment business (and you are, as a writer you are an entertainer, never forget that!) you will get reviews.
There will be good reviews and bad reviews, great reviews and nasty reviews, fan girl reviews and stalker reviews, reviews that's make you go "Whaaaat?" and reviews that put you to sleep.
Most of the time you'll find yourself reading a review while asking "What the fuck? Did they even read my book? Hello! What the hell are they talking about? I didn't write that. Wait, did they send this to the right person?"
You can't please everyone so don't even try. Read the good reviews, ignore the bad reviews, wave a hand at the psycho pants peeing fan girl reviews (and hope they see Edward and run the other way after his sparkling ass instead of glomping you), and get back to your job: writing.
In
this business you are bound to get bad reviews. It happens. It happens a
lot. And bad reviews often outweigh good reviews, simply because
critics are more mouthy than fans.
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If you are going to become an author
one of the first things you'll need to develop is not good writing
skills, but rather a hard outer shell. You need to pretend you are a ninja turtle. Grab your nunchuks and paint yourself green before you read that 1 star review on Amazon. Better yet, don't read the review at all. Go out and buy yourself a big old banana split instead. |
Bad reviews will come from editors, agents, publishers, readers, bloggers, friends, family, and neighbors.
You'll never survive as a writer if you can not push your way through the shower of bad review arrows. So strap on your turtle shell and push forward.
Know which reviews to stomp into the mud and which reviews to take to heart.
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Bad reviews are deadly kisses. Ignore the bad reviews from readers and bloggers, family and friends. They don't know what they are talking about. |
They are just talking out their asses and trying to shoot you down to make themselves feel better. Think of these reviews as kisses laced with poison and keep your distance from them.
Listen carefully to the bad reviews from editors, agents and publishers, they DO know what they are talking about and are trying to help you become a better writer. They WANT to see you succeed and are telling you what's wrong so you can fix it and make it better.
This got me to wondering if bad reviews are also good for book sales? Now clearly you want to get as many good reviews of your book as possible, but is it not true that whenever a group/school/church/library bans a book, that book suddenly sees a dramatic boost in sales? It is something to think about.
NOTE: The links in this blue box, go to other authors' websites. Clicking the below links will take you away from EelKat.com and direct you to outside websites.
This page was written by Wendy Christine Allen of 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
All Rights Reserved.
Note: English is not my first language, Shetlean Scottish is my native language, there are likly spelling and grammar errors, as I do not know American English and am attempting to write it by sounding words out.
Many times that Americans think a word on my site is misspelled, often it is not misspelled, it is just I mixed up languages and wrote it in Scottish without realizing I mixed the Scottish in with the English. Also our grammar is somewhat reversed from English grammar so words that are seeming in the wrong order for American English, is usually because they are in the correct order for Scottish and I either put English words in Scottish order by mistake or was unaware English put them in a different order then Scottish does.
For those unaware, Scottish Shetlean looks like this:
American English to Scottish:
a bit (piece) = a party --- EXAMPLE: "And some know a bit of Latin " > "And somme kan of latyn a party "
a long distance from = A piece fae
a piece of = the bit --- EXAMPLE: "The duck ate a piece of bread " > "The deuk ett the bit breid "
about the banks (on the shore/at the beach) = aboot da banks
accomplishments = kunnandi
After = Back o --- EXAMPLE: " After Halloween" > "Back o Hallomas "
alive (living) = kvikr
Always on the move = Never aff o da go
am I not = amn't I --- EXAMPLE: "Am I not invited? " > "I amn't invited? or Amn't I invited?"
are = is --- EXAMPLE: "Are you going soon?" > "Is ya to be going soon?"
autumn = dah haihst
belong to = fylgja
best = bettah moost
betray (verb) = svíkja
bewildered = villhyggjandi
building = biggin up --- EXAMPLE: "building confidence in everyday use " > " biggin up confidence in ivvryday øs "
built = builded --- EXAMPLE: "He built a new porch." > "Hims builded a new porch."
cast a spell = hoodooed
cat = kat (sounds like "caught") --- EXAMPLE: "Is it an orange cat?" > "Be he a o'jinn kat?"
child = bairn
church = kirk
color = colour
danger = hœttr
daren't = darena
daring = djarfr
dark = dökk
dark elf = Dökkálfr
dark-elves = Døkkálfar
darker = dökká
do you agree = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "That's a fine looking woman, do you agree?" > "Dair's ah right bonnie lass, eh?"
do you want to come too = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "I'm going to the store, do you want to come with me?" > "Me go to shope, eh?"
each = eche --- EXAMPLE: "Which each person can understand " > "That kan eche man understonde "
educated = lered --- EXAMPLE: "Both among the educated and the uneducated " > "As wel among lered as lewed "
elf = Alfr
Elf = Álfr
Elf Home = Álfheimr
Elf World = Álfheimr
elf-advice = Ælfred
elf-beautiful = ælfscyne
elf-friend = Ælfwine
elf-guardian (female) = Ælfwaru
elf-guardian (male) = Ælfweard
elf-powerful = Ælfric
everyday = ivvryday
eyelids = eye ledes --- EXAMPLE: "He closed his eyelids." > "Hims did shut hims eye ledes"
fair = faire --- EXAMPLE: "Going to the fair." > "Done gone went to the faire."
feild = felde --- EXAMPLE: "Standing in the feild." > "Stoodt in thems felde."
further = ferther --- EXAMPLE: "I looked further." > "I dids lokid ferther."
green = grene --- EXAMPLE: "Look at the green hedges and woods." > "Look see at thems heigges and holtz so grene."
handsome = braw --- EXAMPLE: "He is very handsome " > "Him wicked braw "
have faith = trúa
Have no doubts about our doing it = Nae faer o wis
Have no liking for this. = Hae nae brou o this.
have not = ain't
He knows how many beans make five. = He kens the laid frae the croun o the causey.
He knows which side his bread is buttered on. = He kens whilk side his bannock's buttert on.
Head for = Mak wye for
head rope in fishing nets and lines = baak
head to head = Be at the knag and the widdie
horse fly = klegsie
I = Me
I Think = Me thinks --- EXAMPLE: "I think we're late. " > "Me thinks that we is late. "
I wish you well for the future = Lang may yer lum reek (translation: Long may your chimney smoke)
idiot = eejit --- EXAMPLE: "You idiot." > "Ya eejit."
idiot = numpty
if = iffy or yif--- EXAMPLE: "If you don't mind..." > "Iffy yas does no care mind...."; "If you'll stay with me long enough = "Yif ye so longe with me wil dwelle". "
I'll be even with you = A'll see day aboot wi ye
know = ken
looked = lokid
looked = lokid --- EXAMPLE: "I looked up." > "I lifte up me eye ledes and lokid ferther."
magic = hoodoo
naked = nøkkviðr
needle = bodkin
neither = nouther --- EXAMPLE: "Who know neither Latin nor French " > "That kan nouther latyn ne frensch "
No = Nay --- EXAMPLE: "No, I don't think so. " > "Nay, me thinks not. "
Nobody knew = not-knew nobody
Noontide = Da heicht o da day
NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "Did you meet the new family next door?" > "Dids ya gets a chance to stop by and meets with thems new folk that move-ed in down yawn there next doors to ya, eh?"
NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "He went to Rite-Aid to pick up his prescription" > "Hims did go to that yawn there new fangled store the new folks call that Rite Aid place, to gets himself some of thems there pills what the doctor gone and tells him to take each morning, a-yep, hims did."
old = olde --- EXAMPLE: "But educated and uneducated, old and young " > "Bot lered and lewed olde and yonge "
orange = o'jinn
out = oot --- EXAMPLE: "The cat wants to go out." > "The kat he do wants oot."
outside = oot dair
people = fokk --- EXAMPLE: "the people of Shetland " > "Shetland fokk "
people = folke --- EXAMPLE: "Look at all those people." > "Lookie at all thems folke."
poorly = febelly --- EXAMPLE: "Who know French very poorly " > "That kan frensch ful febelly "
Recognising = Recognisin --- EXAMPLE: "Recognising the bilingual nature of Shaetlan speakers " > "Recognisin da wye at Shaetlan spaekers is bilingual "
shield = skjoldr
Since = For --- EXAMPLE: "Since that is your native language " > "For that is youre kynde langage "
tell = telle --- EXAMPLE: "I'll tell you in English " > "In englysch tonge I schal you telle "
the = da, de, or is not used at all --- EXAMPLE: "I went to the store" > "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to shoppe"
them = dem, dem dair --- EXAMPLE: "I went with them" > "Me goes wit dem dair"
there = dair --- EXAMPLE: "I want those potatoes" > "Me be wanting dem dair tatetas."
they = dey
To where = whither --- EXAMPLE: ""Where you go, I will go." " > ""Whither thou goest, I'll go."
understand = understonde
understand = understonden --- EXAMPLE: "Some understand English " > "And somme understonden englysch "
very = wicked --- EXAMPLE: "very good" > "wicked good"; "very bad" > "wicked bad"; "very cold" > "wicked cold"
Where = Whither --- EXAMPLE: "Where is the restroom? " > "Whither is the privy?"
Yes = Yea or Aye --- EXAMPLE: "Yes, I think so. " > "Yea, me thinks so. " or "Aye, me thinks so. "
For anyone actually interested in learning my native language, the Scottish government has THIS listed as the official dictionary of our people: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/61d7352954b7fd1c9dbdfef4/t/65ddb2749d5e0541a01009c0/1709027964496/Spaektionary_2024feb.pdf
The Scottish government provides this document to show our language in use: https://www.shetland.uhi.ac.uk/t4-media/one-web/uhi-shetland-images-and-documents/documents-/shaetlan/Shaetlan-Language-Plan-2022-Shaetlan.pdf
More information about our language can be found on this website: https://www.iheardee.com which is written in my native language.
However, there is also other reasons why words might be misspelled, or why I might not understand someone when they speak to me.
My grandmother Helen Ricker Allen, was from Unst, Shetland, Scotland, and she the one who raised me. She taught me to read and write, but it was Shetlain that she taught me. She died when I was 8 years old, and I was locked in a woodshed after her furneral, I escaped the woodshed 27 years later at age 31, and have been trying to learn how to speak and write English since then.
It is a very great struggle.
At age 37 I took remidial reading and speaking classes at Southern Maine Community College, but we are Gypsies and Gypsy men do not allow us Gypsy women to have education, and so, while at college, on November 14, 2013, I was beaten with a golf club, while I was 8 months pregnet, breaking my spine, hips, and knees, killing my baby and leaving me quardepaleic since.
Now my primary focus these past 13 years has been on relearning to use my hand so I could type... as of 2023, I have regained the use of my right thumb, and first two right fingers, and after 10 years offline, I am back online due to I can use three finguers.
I never went to school, so I do not know maths and numbers and sciences, and I do not know what else would have been taught to me in school. We are Scottish Gypsies and Gypsy culture does not allow females to go to school. Being born female was already a great sin, but my grandmother took great risk in teaching me reading and writing. At 4 years old I was punished by my Uncle Bruce for knowing how to read, by being beaten in the face with a cinder block brick, that broke my right jaw and left me with garbaled near-mute spoken words ever since.
Because no one ever spoke words to be face to face from he time I was 8 years old until I was 37 years old (I escaped the room at age 27, but did not start college until 37), I have no training in how to vocally sound out or speak the words I write or read. I can read words, but I do not know how to sound out or say those words. I can write words, but I do not know how to match the written word against the spoken word. I struggle to associate spoken words at all, or make them match up with writen words.
Esentially, written words and spoken words are two completly seperate languages in my brain, and I have difficulty understanding spoken words.
If you say a sentance to me with your mouth, chances are very high I will have ZERO understanding of what you said and I will not be able to ander you.
However, if you WRITE down that exact same sentabnce, I can understand you and can type a written responce to you.
My doctors tell me this is a side effect of extreme isolation and neglect and lack of human contact during my toddler, childhood, teen, and young adult years, and that my brain never deveoloped to comprehend spoken vocal words due to no one ever speaking to me in over three decades of the first half of my life.
While I can read and write, American English (somewhat) I do no know how words are sounded out, what they are supposed to sound like. I readand write by shape recognition, not by sound/vocal recognition, so when reading and writing I do no "hear the words in my head" as I am told most people do when they read and write. In other words... I see "c a t" and think "c-a-t" I do not think "cat" nor do I "see" an image of a cat, no do I "hear" the word cat spoken. I'm told that this is very rare and that most people read and write by sounding out the words and linking them to visual mind images, while hearing the sound of the word in their head. I neiher hear words in my head no see images of things in my head. I'm told this is what makes me both a speed reader and speed writer, because I'm not tripped up by hear sounds or seeing images in my head like nomal people would be doing... however, I'm also told this is why my spelling and grammar are very poor, because my brain is not hear the sounds of the words or seeing visual images of the objects the words represent, so my mind also does not register spelling and grammer errors at all.
As I was only let out of the woodshed on Sundays to go to the Cape Elezabeth Ward Church of the August Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I was never allowed to go to school or hospital either. No adults ever talked to me because I was evil for comitted the sin of being born female, so I never learned how to speak properly and do not know how to sound out words to say them.
I was 42 years old, in 2016 when, while having an MRI for my spine, the doctors found out my speak issue was caused by a broken jaw as a toddler that was healed wrong because not being allowed to go to doctors. I had surgury to fix that, and since 2016 have been trying to learn how to use my jaw and touge so I can speak vocal words now.
Since 2023 my primary focus shifted to relearning to walk. I can now, in 2026, sit up for 2 or 3 hours a day, and can sand with a cane for a few minutes, and can walk for around five thousand feet in 2 to 3 segments a day, with the help of pushing my wheelchair like a walker.
As of 2026, with a slight return to using my fingers and legs, I am once again focused on trying to learn the American English, but I live in mortal fear of my uncles and male cousins, as they are so hateful of allowing me to have education.
have no one to help me to know if I am doing words correctly, and as such, I have no way of knowing if there are spelling and grammar errors, but I asume there are, and I fix them when I learn them, but I do not know what I do not know and spelling American words is a thing I do bnot know.
I have Low Fucntioning Kanner's Syndrom, also known as "RainMan Type of Autism" aka REAL and ACTUAL Autism, not to be confused with Aspergers, High Functioning Autism, or and of thr 861 illnesses on the Autism Spectrum. An Autism Spectrum Disorder is an illness that has symptoms similar to Autism but IS NOT Autism. If you have an Autism Spectrum Disorder, it LITERALLY MEANS you do NOT have Autism.
I am medically diagnosed as "kanner's syndrome, actual autism, the rainman type, profoundly retarded autistic savant, with a general IQ of 73, and an writing IQ of 221" but they added that they did not know how to properly diagnose me as I am "technically a feral child" and they don't know "how much is the autism, and how much is simple horrific levels of abuse and neglect induced post traumatic stress disorder that will go away with proper socilization".
It means I know how to write, I can write a lot, and it is next to impossible for you to teach me how to do literally anythig else because my brain only knows how to write and doesn;t know how to do anything else..
There's a reason, when I do book signings, people are quick to say: "Okay, what's the joke? why is this stupid retard here? where's the real author? I know this retard isn't the author. where are you hiding the author, why is this fucking retard here"
The end result is, I have near zero social interaction... my 3 years in college was the ONLY face to face interaction I have ever had with humans in my entire life, and I struggle deeply to understand MOST words used by MOST people when they ask me question. And so I suffer from a huge lack of understanding many words people say to me, how to translate those words into spelling, and how to translate what it is that has been said.
The fact remains hat until there exists a human on this planet who is willing to sit down and teach me what words spoken line up with and match what words written, this deficent is unlily to improve. But the fact also remains, that I am simply far too profoundly retarded for anyone to even try to make any attempt at all even to speak a friendly "hgelloe" or "good morning" when passing me on the street, so I have lost all hope of anyone ever either being my friend, being willing to teach me how to match spoken words to written words, or how to speak to other humans.
While there are around 20k pages on this website, most of them are blocked from search engines, with only around 800 of them available for appearing in Google/Bing/etc search results. The remainder can only be accessed via the various links found throughout this site. This was done deliberately on my part, and I did it because the bulk of the pages on this website are chapters from 138 novels and 423 novellas, so only the first page of each novel and novella indexed by search engines, and the remainder are linked in order, one page at a time, via clicking "next page" at the end of each. So if you are looking for a specific page from a specific novel, Google can't help you.
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Thank you for stopping by and have a nice day! ꧁✨🌸🔮🦄🔮🌸✨꧂ And if it’s your birthday today: ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐꧁ᴴᵃᵖᵖʸ☆ᵇⁱʳᵗʰᵈᵃʸ꧂🤍🎀🧸🌷🍭 |
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Get an email whenever Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻 publishes on Medium.
>I also write on these locations: | Amazon | Ao3 | Blogger | GumRoad | Medium | Notd | OnlyFans | Tumblr | Vocal |
Do you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine on August 8, 2013? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son on November 14, 2013 at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me July 26, 2016 at scarborough WalMart,... they arrived the first time with a backhoe on August 8, 2013, that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since....
... which means it is now only a few weeks from the 14th anniversary of my son's murder. I was 8 month pregnant November 14, 2013, and a student ay SMCC, and coming out of the Buglight Lighthouse art studio after art class, when a still unidentifiedwoman wielding a golf club attacked me, severed my spine, while I was 8 months pregnant, triggered early labour, then killed my son minutes after he was born.
While accusing me of being transgender, screaming "transvestite freak" and "look at that thing, that's Ken's son in a dress"... while I was 8 months pregnant.
My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son and crippled me, arrived the first time with a backhoe that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since. |
The backhoe driver returned November 14, 2013, armed with a golf club, used it to break my spine and smash my baby's brains out on the ground
On November 14, 2013, my son was murdered. I was 8 months pregnant, leaving my college classroom, and just getting into my car, when 3 strangers, a man and two women, armed with golf clubs leapt out from behind my car screaming "kill or be killed, kill the transvestite freaks, kill them all before they kill us! look at that thing! That is Ken's son, look at how it's dressed! kill the transvestite freaks! kill or be killed"... while the bald man and the red haired woman chanted this over and over, the blonde woman, lunged with the golf club.
She severed my spine, I am now a quadriplegic, and been paralyzed arms and legs, and in a wheelchair for 13 years now. She broke my hips, my knees, my legs, ruptured most of my discs, and shattered three of my vertebrae so bad that the shards of bone acted like glass and embedded themselves into my spinal column nerve bundle.
The attack also triggered labour.
My son was born in that parking lot, and he lived only a couple of minutes, before the deranged blonde woman, beat his head in and smashed his brains out, with the same golfclub she had just used to sever my spine and leave me crippled for the rest of my life.
Realizing that I was not transgender, and they'd just murdered a baby, the man grabbed the 2 women and forcibly dragged them away to a 4 door white pickup truck, and they left me there to die.
The FBI told me later, that a few weeks before this attack, and transwoman, had murdered a cis woman, in a parking lot, abou 20 miles away from where I was attacked. The FBI, believes that my attackers, had somehow found out I wrote transgender fiction, connecting my real name to my penname, (my father's name is in fact "Ken", and I do have a brother) and believed that I wrote transgender fiction, because I was myself transgender, even though I'm not transgender. The FBI, believes the attackers, thought I was my brother, pretending to be a woman.
The FBI investigation, into my son's murder, has dragged on for 13 years, and still now in 2026, continues on, with the FBI, still not having yet identified my attackers, and only guessing at what their motive was.
Thus we come to 2014, and the full swing change of the series I write. WHY my series, went from just a transman main character living life, to the full blown Mpreg genre series that it now is today.
Before the attack, I had a chance of having a baby. I don't know. And because I'm in America, I'm too old to adopt. You have to be under 45 years old to adopt a baby. That is the law in America. I was informed this, when we tried to adopt, now that my injuries leave me unable to get pregnant a 9th time.
Thus began my obsessively writing, my transman main character, pregnant. Always pregnant now. Every time. Every story. Stories that now fully focus on pregnancy, labour, miscarriages, babies dying, babies living, raising babies... the whole series, since 2014 has devolved into an outright baby obsession.
Meanwhile, reborn baby dolls were suggested to me by my therapist, and have also become a deeply obsessive part of my life. Because 13 years ago my son was murdered minutes after he was born, because a transphobic bigot mistook me for being transgender, I'm STILL in a wheelchair, struggling to relearn to use my arms and legs, now 13 years later, and I'm still DAILY dealing with police officers and FBI agents who while they are trying to find my son's killer, they are also daily reminding me... oh, yeah, my son was murdered, literally ripped out of my belly, by a transphobe. Who still has not been located and walks free to kill again.
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The golfclub woman as she looked during the golf club attack at Southern Maine community college November 14, 2013. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
The golfclub woman as she looked during the shopping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart July 26, 2016. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
The 2nd woman as she looked at both attacks, her hair goes all the way down to her knees. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer's accomplice, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
I am a legally blind quadriplegic, and low verbal, I have also published 138 novels in the last 48 years. It's not as impossible as people think. The problem being blind and quadriplegic, medically have different meanings then how those two words are used medically.
Fewer than 3% of all blind people see nothing. While 97% people who are classified as fully blind are able to see up to two feet in front of them. Legally blind means I can see more then two feet in front of me but not far enough to see twenty feet in front of me. In my case I can see about eight feet.
Quadriplegic, has varying levels, it means having a damaged nerve bundle in the spinal column causing limited mobility of all 4 limbs, (in my case this was done by a women wielding a golf club, who also beat my 8 month infant's head to pulp on the parking lot tarmak, at the same time she severed my spine with the same golf club; both on November 14, 2013; the FBI investigation into my son's murder and my being crippled has gone on now for 13 years, a few weeks away from 14 years now, and the FBI has still not identified the killer or her motive). Contrary to popular misconception, quadriplegic does NOT mean ZERO movement, it means means limited movement, specifically in means unable to lift arms over head, unable to grip fingers around objects to pick them up, and unable to stand for more then 5 minutes to a time. Because there are so many thousands of nerves in each limb it is actually very rare for there to be 100% no movement, but how much, and to what extent varies by patent depending upon the specific point of injury to the spinal column.
Meaning typing is still possible for over 60% of all quadriplegics.
In my case, it was the lower spine that was severed, cutting off completly my ability to move my right leg, leaving limited feeling in my left leg, and an ability to stand but not walk, with crutches, for the first 9 years. I regained enough nerve growth in my legs by the 9th year to be able to take ten or twelve steps allowing me to get out of bed for the first time since the golf club attack; This in turn lead to me being able to start using a wheelchair, as I was able to sit upright for the first time as well.
Because the shattered vertebrae bone fragments are broken off completly and embedded into the nerve bundle just above my tailbone, doctors were saying I would never walk again, but now at 13 years, I am able to push mu wheelchair like a walker, a distance of almost a thousand steps a day. Though doctors are still doubtful I will ever walk "normally" again, I have proven them wrong, when their said 13 years ago, that I would never walk again at all.
But because of the placement of the damage to my spine, regaining hand use, was always thought possible, it was just a matter of waiting long enough for nerve regrowth, along side daily finger exercises. I was able to continue writing, after becoming quadriplegic, because I still have use of my right thumb, and 2 fore figures of my right hand. And can type 90 words per minute with those 3 fingers.
I however have no wrist strength, elbow strength, or shoulder strength, so I am not able to form a fist, or lift objects, or brush my hair, or my teeth, all thing I have to have my caretaker do. But, those things are not needed for typing. Unfortunately, my pinky and ring fingers are "nerve dead" and drag over the keyboard, and cause horrific spelling errors and typos, which are incredibly frustrating to deal with.
Unfortunately trying to edit errors myself, just makes the errors worse, because those same two fingers drag over the keyboard yet again. Prior to the golf club attack, I rarely had spelling errors; now I got more spelling errors then someone is learning English as second language. Editing is a challenge, that I've had to accept, I simply can not do myself, and I have to hire several editors to help with that.
Low verbal means sounds can still be made, sounds that software programs like Dragon can be trained to recognize and translate, and type into full words. More then half my novels were typed with this method.
I still have a long ways to go before I am anything close to being able to do the things I could do before the golf club woman beat my baby's brains out and shattered my spine. And you know what's more frustrating then how slow mu medical progression has been? The fact that it's been 13 years and the police and FBI are still coming up at dead ends as to who the woman who murdered my baby was, or why she even did it.
My son's 14th birthday is only a few weeks away, but he didn't even get to live long enough to celebrate his 1st birthday, I don't even know why. And I can't wait to regain my ability to walk again, because regaining my ability to walk, means gaining the ability to go outside and start looking for my son's murderer myself instead of sitting at home trapped in a wheelchair waiting for the police and FBI to to find her. So, writing isn't a big priority for me anymore. I only write now, as a way to exercise my hands, in between relearning to walk.
Never let a disability stop you. Plenty of writers, artists, athletes, do not let either blindness, speech impediments, or limited mobility hold then back from perusing their careers.
Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
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There are no ebook editions as they are already available digitally here on my website.