Looking to connect with me on social media? Links to all my official accounts can be found here:

<<<<---  If it is not on that list, it is not me. 

Please note that since 2013, there have shown up several FAKE "EelKat" accounts, often using photos stolen from my website. Those accounts are run by a stalker who also goes by the names Kendra Silvermander & Tom Addams. They are wanted by the FBI, so if you run across one of these fake accounts pretending to be me, please report it to FBI Agent in charge of the case: Andy Drewer.

Attracting Readers/Customers
to Your Business

/ /




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"I am a chimney sweep. When looking for someone to do work at your home, how do you usually find the company? What are some things you look for when hiring someone to do work at your house. How would you suggest for me to get my name out there to attract more costumers? When calling and making an appointment what would be the most important thing you looked for? What do you think the best form of advertising is for a chimney business? "

Intriguing question as I am an author and advise others who are looking to become authors, yet you are a chimney sweep. I'm not sure my advice would be helpful to you or not, but you asked so I'll answer. I can see the logic in it. Marketing a book and attracting readers to want to buy your books is very much like attracting customers to buy services and products from a business; so yeah, perhaps I can give you advice on how I go about attracting readers and it'll help both you in attracting customers to your business and help my targeted author-type audience in attracting readers to their books at the same time. So I'll answer each of your questions, however I'm going to focus most of my answer on how I go about attracting readers (customers).

Let me break this up first and answer each of your questions in turn:

"When looking for someone to do work at your home, how do you usually find the company?"

There are 300+ people in my family, nearly all run a business of some sort (one who does chimney sweeping, even!) so we rarely need to look for outside services, usually looking to family first. When we do however look for outside help, it tends to be people who are friends of family, church members especially, or people recommended by family. So word of mouth is the way we find people at least when looking for service based businesses.

"What are some things you look for when hiring someone to do work at your house?"

Reputation. I like to know someone who hired them, that way I can go to my friend's house and say "Can you show me want they did? I want to see their work up close."

Your reputation in knowing what you are doing, doing it right, not leaving a mess, acting professional, these are all things I will be looking for. If your guys are smoking in my yard, poking around my fridge looking for snacks, messing up my bathroom, tracking mud all over the place, and knocking over lamps as they blunder through, I'll avoid your business. And that is why I want to talk to a friend I know and trust and ask them what sort of job your people did at their place.

"How would you suggest for me to get my name out there to attract more costumers?"

The #1 best way to attract customers no matter what your business is, is business cards.

Business cards.

Plain and simple. Never leave home without them. Hand them out everywhere you go. Use a public toilet? Stick a business card on the paper roll holder. Waiting rooms (if you are there, don't just run in a leave them at places you don't wait at.) Leave business cards everywhere. NEVER put business cards on people's cars!

I leave them on all the local community bulletin boards. Most libraries have boards, town halls have them, train stations and bus stations, even some grocery stores have them. I always keep a little box with 100 business cards in my purse, and a package of push pin tacs.

I leave 5 to 10 cards on every board I find, than I go back every month or so to replace them. I also leave my cards on tables in waiting rooms at doctors offices and hospitals (though I don't go out of my way for this, I just leave them at the offices where I am at - family health issues means I'm weekly at several offices, also being an author I leave "waiting room sample copies" of my books in the waiting rooms as well - though this probably not helpful for your chimney business, but I thought I'd mention it in case it sparked an idea for you.).

Okay business cards out of the way, let's talk about my personal #1 best way of attracting readers, letting them know I'm a local author, and convincing them that they want to buy my books

This option not for every one, because you really got to love cars, love working on cars, love being in big crowds, and love being the center of attention for this to work, but if that's you than your car is your biggest source of free advertising. Put a sign on your car, paint your car, tape flyers to the back door windows of your car, glue beads to your car, metal-flake your car, or have your car wrapped.

Combination of car and cards: I get 90% of my business from people stopping to ask if they can take pictures of my car (2.5million beads on it) and than asking, "Do you have a business card?"

For years, I did not have business cards. Why?

I'm a writer, people don't buy books based on business card, do they, why would I need business cards?

I customize my personal cars, I don't do it for other people, it's not a business, it's just a hobby, why would I need business cards?

It wasn't until I built the Dazzling Razzberry that I had business cards made up. I had business cards made after, practically every spectator at a car show asking for my card. It was my first car show, and before than, I had no idea that it was just standard practice for car owners to have business cards with a picture of them and their car on it. Spectators at car shows collect car cards, and get them autographed by the owners (if the car is famous).

So I made business cards which read:

EelKat Wendy C Allen

Autistic Author, Artist, Dollmaker, and Art Car Designer

On one side was a picture of The Razzberry on the other side a picture of me.

I started handing out so many cards at car shows that I ended up gluing a business card holder to my passenger-side mirror and just leaving cards on my car. I hand out 50 to 200 cards a month (or a day some times) this way. And now no matter where I go, whenever I park my car I drop a handful of cards in the holder before I head to the store, class, wherever.

Usually I'll come out of WalMart or where-ever and find 10 to 30 people standing round my car waiting for me to come out of the store so they could meet the owner. All of them waving a card and asking "I took a card is that okay?"

I'm a car collector, ton of cars, attend car shows and my Razzberry even gets to be in Monster Truck rallies and hang out with Team BigFoot.

I never expected this sort of reaction, or the boost in my book sales that would come as a direct result of handing out business cards at car shows. My car has been my best marketing move ever attracting readers left and right. I never expected it, because it was just me being me and gluing things to my car (I glue glitter to every thing.) I was not doing it to attract attention or for marketing or for attracting readers or anything. I was just doing it because I love gluing glitter to stuff.

Never underestimate the power of a show car, an antique car, an art car covered in marbles, a rare car that only had 5,000 made, or a metal-flake lime green 1975 Dodge motorhome to attract a crowd and get people asking for business cards.

My best attraction getter was having a car that can get in monster truck rallies and handing out business cards at those events. It doesn't matter what your business is - car shows and truck rallies bring in crowds and if your car is part of the event everyone wants your card no matter what your business is, just so they can say "I meet the owner of that car, I was there, see, they gave me their card!"

They will NEVER throw that card away and they will call you when they need you with "Hey, do you remember me? We meet at the monster truck rally, you gave me your card, well I need..."

Spending the day with Team BigFoot was the best business move I ever made, and it wasn't a marketing move either, it was more of me being me, I'm a huge BigFoot fan and when I heard Team BigFoot was going to be doing a special show down the street from my dad's place in Biddeford, I drove over there to ask for an autograph, the guy who was organizing the event took one look at my car and said "Hey, that's a great car you got there, pull up beside BigFoot." I ended up in the event as a special unannounced guest.

 If you've got an antique car - use it as your daily driver and watch your business soar.

It's absolutely astounding the difference in my business from before I started using my show cars as my daily drivers (3 years ago) to today.

I've been in business since 1983 - business didn't start booming til I started using my show cars as my daily drivers.

Every body loves a "rare" car. Best thing you can do for advertising your business - get a car that attracts attention and advertise your business right on the side of the car.

I'm an author (not sure if you realized that) btw, my books are "local themed" set in local towns, so while the mass market might read a few of my stories, most of my readership are folks from the towns in the settings who want to read stories set in their town, thus why my main focus of marketing is my car and business cards, rather than on FaceBook or Twitter.

Being "local" means the need to attract local attention, and my cars (I've several strange cars) and my business cards are used in such a way that I am right out there in the public, so they are meeting me face to face, talking to me one on one, and that kind of interaction does wonders because people are more likely to buy from you if they've shaken your hand, than if you are just another page on FaceBook.

"When calling and making an appointment what would be the most important thing you looked for?"

Friendly voice, non-authoritative attitude (not bitchy/bossy/I'm better than you) and actually knows what s/he's talking about so they can answer my questions without getting back to me later (not, I'm sorry I only answer the phones you'll have to make an appointment to talk to someone else).

"What do you think the best form of advertising is for a chimney business?"

For me, I'd most likely call you if I saw your number on the side of your truck, and it was a truck I saw around the neighborhood a lot. I'm more inclined to think "We need a chimney cleaned, Hey, I remember that truck. He's always parked over at Hannaford every morning. I'll drive by and see if he's there today, jot down his number." I'm a car nut and I know all the local cars and trucks and where they usually park, so I always know who is going to be where and when I need someone, I'll head out, find their car, jot down their number, and call them, just on the familiarity of seeing their car around town every day. I'm very much a person who "buys local" and looks for local services.




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And remember to have yourself a great and wonderfully glorious day!

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By EelKat Wendy C Allen







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And why 27 books were deleted off Amazon after being banned by The Old Orchard Beach, Maine Town Hall, an American Government organization, on January 4, 2016, for being "Too Gay For The Family Friendly Town of Old Orchard Beach".






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The Top 202 Most Visited Pages of 2017

Seeing how on October 15, 2017, we reached 10,000 pages, I thought it'd be fun to update the Top 100 List and see where were were now.

Top 202 Most Viewed Pages Of 2017 So Far
(Out of 10,000 pages)

(January 2017 to October 2017)
(Excluding the Home PageAbout Page, and Site Map Page, which were the top 3)

  1. Amphibious Aliens: The Story of Etiole & The World's Most Haunted Car
  2. The GoldenEagle: An Auto-biography of the World's Most Haunted Car
  3. Medieval Servants: Their jobs and their place in historical fiction.
  4. How Long is 50,000 Words?
  5. On being a handicapped CosPlayer at PortCon Maine 2017
  6. Stephen King's The Thinner and The Gypsies Of Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  7. Writing Mute Characters
  8. Flamboyant Nipples: The KKK's New Gay Hating Site About Old Orchard Beach | The Site That Makes Fun of Terrorist Hate Crimes
  9. Writing Dares Random Generator
  10. Don't put flyers on people's cars...
  11. The Saco River Curse
  12. Our Primary Site Topic Is Small Penis? Reaching #1 on Page 1 of Google.
  13. Help FBI End Anti-Gay White Power Terrorist Attacks of Old Orchard Beach
  14. Creating Character Profiles | Meet The Characters | Who Is Quaraun?
  15. Introduction To The Quaraun Series: aka Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach
  16. The Dazzling Razzberry aka EelKat's Autism Awareness Car
  17. Autism, Asperger, PTSD, & Mad Cow: Writing Clinical Insanity Accurately | What is wrong with Quaraun? 
  18. Quaraun Free To Read Online Complete Chapter Index In Chronological Order
  19. Necromancy: Fact Vs Fiction; Or How Can You Be A Necromancer In Real Life?
  20. 600 Pages: Epic Big Super Sized Novels and Why You Should Never Write One
  21. Why Crude Adult Comedy and Pink Humor Yaoi Is Not Erotica
  22. The FBI In Old Orchard Beach, Maine Trying To Capture A Domestic Terrorist
  23. One Gypsy's Review of My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding
  24. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 1 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  25. Autism, Asperger's, And The Danger of The Self-Diagnosis
  26. Spell Casting Side Effects: Magic In Quaraun's Universe | Author Interview
  27. What Type of Music Does A Gypsy Listen To? My Top 10 Favorite Bands
  28. Beware of White Men In Gypsy Clothing: Fake Psychic Scams
  29. How long does it take to hit 1667 words?
  30. How to Write A Kiss
  31. Phookas
  32. Creating Character Profiles | Meet The Characters | Who Is GhoulSpawn?
  33. Albino Races - Moon Elves In The Quaraun Series
  34. Daily Writing Prompts (June 2017 Archive)
  35. My 30th Anniversary of Being Transgender
  36. Why Are The Quaraun Books Rated M18+
  37. How to Write Hot Sex - Tips For Erotic Romance Authors
  38. The Zaharam-Chapelle-Parunas Ethnographical World Building Questionnaire
  39. The Jiggler & The G-String Teddy Bears | The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane
  40. What exactly makes an Elf an Elf? (What is the definition of an Elf?)
  41. Online Income: The Reality vs The Fantasy
  42. World's Most Haunted Car Merchandise
  43. I Am Not GhoulSpawn | Excerpt From Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  44. Old Orchard Beach Hate Crimes
  45. BoomFuzzy Chapter 1 (Novel Excerpt - Quaraun The Insane)
  46. How can your books have gay transvestite characters and not be Erotica? or Why are gay haters beating up elderly woman for wearing pink for breast cancer awareness and saying she's a transexual because only transexuals wear pink?
  47. EelKat's Guide To NaNoWriMo Featuring The 13 Step Method To Writing
  48. Autism and the Stigmas - Why Can’t You Accept Me As Me?
  49. Maine UFO Sightings
  50. Page 11 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - The Scottish Traveller Crime Family
  51. Psychedelics In A 'High' High Fantasy World (High Elves Getting High)
  52. KBoards, The NaNoWriMo ML Rumor & The Vindictive Stalker
  53. Writing Racist Characters VS The Ku Klux Klan In Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  54. Captured By The Lich Lord | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  55. How To Build A Magic System
  56. I've everything but a kitchen sink. Wait, how'd that sink get in my pocket?
  57. Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies & The Ku Klux Klan of Old Orchard Beach
  58. Autistic Characters In Fiction
  59. City of The Slushies | Chapter 7 | Quaraun The Insane
  60. Manuscript Reading Services or Will You Read My Book and Tell Me What You Think?
  61. Suicide, Rape, and Abuse In The Quaraun Series
  62. Wizards vs Witches vs Sorcerers: How are they different? | Writing Fantasy Books
  63. FRED: Google's Most Deadly Update Ever?
  64. How To Write A Novel: Question Everything Before Putting It In Your World
  65. Content writing: How long do you spend creating a quality blog post?
  66. SBI: To Review or Not to Review? That Is The Question
  67. Twerking Dragons: The Joys Of Writing A Novel With A Voice Recorder
  68. A Day At Witch Pond & Fleeing To The Forest | Summoner of Darkness
  69. Transgender, Transsexual, Transvestite, or Intersex: What Is Quaraun?
  70. Sheep | GhoulSpawn The Crazed & The Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  71. Colour Magic - Gypsy Style
  72. Ideas, Ideas, Ideas (Where Do You Get Them?)
  73. Keywords & Pigeons: How I Do Local Business Marketing
  74. Quaraun & Autism In Fantasy Novels
  75. The Signs Of Old Orchard Beach & The FBI Investigation Of The Town Hall
  76. Tom Addams & The Warrior's Forum
  77. A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond | Summoner of Darkness
  78. An Elf and a Lich in the Gingerbread Pit | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  79. Markiplier Jacksepticeye and Pewdiepie Play Resident Evil 7
  80. Santa Claus: Lich Of The North Pole (Includes NSFW 18+ CBT Yaoi scene)
  81. A Motorhome named 'No Hurry' becomes Rosebud & The Story of Ten Kidnapped Cats
  82. Create Original Content aka I Hate Jackass Gutter Scum Thieves
  83. Lost In a Space That Isn't There: Going North To Head South
  84. An Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink Necromancer
  85. Aspergers is NOT Autism
  86. Is The Quaraun Series Erotica? - No! Here's why...
  87. Summoner of Darkness: GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A Phooka
  88. The Dungeon Master & The 1974 AMC Gremlin
  89. The Lich's True Form Revealed | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  90. Using work you already started for national novel writing month?
  91. World-building In The Quaraun Series: Creating a Fantasy World
  92. Books in Vacationland 2017
  93. BoomFuzzy's Gingerbread House From Hell
  94. Lets Playing Is No Longer Fun
  95. Santa's Floating Dead Body | A Scene From The Summoner of Darkness
  96. The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death
  97. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 2 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  98. What vlogging equipment is needed to get started as a YouTube vlogger?
  99. April 2015 Update: Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach: The Kidnapped Cats
  100. Betta Fish Aesthetic on Pinterest
  101. Domain Name Branding: Should You Put Your Brand Name In Your URL?
  102. Life As A YouTuber: How To Earn An Income From Making Videos
  103. Making YouTube Videos: How did you decide what content to make?
  104. Page 4 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  105. Twighilight Not Twilight
  106. YouTube Index
  107. Amphibious Aliens: My health since the stroke and Etiole . . .
  108. Are You A Satan Worshiper?
  109. Average Typing Speed
  110. Custom Leggings - Designs By EelKat
  111. Ernest Hemingway Style of Writing Literary Fiction Used In Epic Fantasy Novels
  112. Google Flagged Your Site! What To Do? (Help For Web Masters)
  113. How valuable is a writer’s group?
  114. Lives Destroyed: Amphibious Aliens 10th Anniversary Update
  115. Lost In a Space That Isn't There: Santa's Letter To Satan
  116. Summoner of Darkness: Quaraun Meets The Gremlin
  117. The Terrorists of Old Orchard Beach Put My Dad In a Coma
  118. Using Yahoo Answers to promote your book and author website.
  119. What Is This Site?
  120. You Stole My Idea - I was writing a book, but you already wrote it 10 years ago!
  121. City of The Slushies | Chapter 1 | Quaraun The Insane
  122. Creative Writing Story Prompts: September 2017 Edition
  123. Dungeons and Dragons: The Joys Of Calculating Gold Weight In AD&D 2ed
  124. Fabric Designed By EelKat
  125. My Fave YouTubers Play: Dream Daddy - The Yaoi Dad Dating Sim Otome Game
  126. Necromancy: How will resurrection affect society as a whole?
  127. Page 7 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  128. Pink Flowers Aesthetic on Pinterest
  129. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 12 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  130. What will a traveler encounter on the roads in your world?
  131. Are you insane? Am I? Let's Find Out...
  132. Becoming A Better Writer: How to write interesting dialogue.
  133. Character Creation
  134. Copper Cockeral Cards & Gifts
  135. Elves, Drugs, and Opium: A Look At The Drug Use In The Quaraun Books
  136. How To Stay Motivated To Write | Writing Fantasy Books
  137. Jewelry Fashions in Moon Elf Culture | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books
  138. Keyword Marketing - What to do when your best keywords are low demand
  139. Magic Systems and How to Build Them | Writing Fantasy Books
  140. NaNoWriMo Overachievers: How did you do it?
  141. Quaraun Cover Art Gallery | Fantasy Novel Book Cover Art
  142. Quaraun The Insane : Zebulon's Captive: The Last of The Moon Elves
  143. SEO Advantages of Embedding YouTube Videos On Your Website
  144. Summoner of Darkness: A Tavern Scene - Chastity Cages, and Whores
  145. Summoner of Darkness: The Return of ZooLock (free to read online)
  146. Twighlight Not Twilight Part 2
  147. Vanishing Books Update - Why 27 of my books were deleted off Amazon
  148. What is a God in Your Universe? | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books
  149. Writing Maine: How To Write About Maine Life Accurately
  150. What the Ocean Gives Me (How Things In Your Life Affect Your Writing)
  151. City of The Slushies | Chapter 14 | Quaraun The Insane
  152. February 10, 2008 - Harassment Continues in Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  153. How does a bestselling book become a bestseller?
  154. Marriage in Moon Elf Culture | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books
  155. People are not interested in long winded copy
  156. September 26, 2017 - The Latest Attack By The KKK on The Thinner Gypsies
  157. Spending Money To Make Money Online? Should You Do It?
  158. Summoner of Darkness: The Demon Cultists and The Coming of The Darkness
  159. Summoner of Darkness: The Map of The Town (novel free to read online)
  160. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt GOTY | Completionist Run: Episode 01
  161. Trespassers: April 2007 Updates
  162. Turning Scenes, Into Stories & Writing Travelogue Style Fantasy Books
  163. Where To Get Endless Ideas For Short Stories, Novels, and Articles
  164. Writing Controversial Books: Political Correctness & White Supremacists
  165. Are Bad Reviews Good For You?
  166. Branding Yourself While Avoiding The Scams | EelKat On Content Writing
  167. Child Sacrifice in Fantasy Novels | Writing Fantasy Books
  168. How to Handle Writing Fantasy-Horror That Features Violence Against Children
  169. How would you explain your Fantasy world to a stranger?
  170. Page 6 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  171. Summoner of Darkness: HellBorne The Evil, Lord of Black Tower
  172. The return of Friends Are Forever - Banned and Burned it's about to be reborn!
  173. Why do Lovecraftian beings come to earth?
  174. Writing Prompts Syndrome?
  175. Autism = The Crazy Cat Woman of Maine
  176. Autism: Understanding what is really going on inside the child’s head.
  177. But what exactly IS a full time income?
  178. Content Marketing & writing: How I write content for my website
  179. Do you write a novel start-to-finish?
  180. GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover: How To Kill a Lich
  181. How is it that the church leaders are claiming you do not pay tithes?
  182. How To Write A Novel: In what order do you create your world?
  183. I loved my children but I loved BoomFuzzy more | From Quaraun The Insane
  184. My Two Favorite People: FarDarrig and The Baby That Never Should Have Been
  185. Need help writing characters of color | EelKat on racist white readers
  186. Quaraun and the Amazon Adult Filter
  187. Quaraun GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover: The Lover's Triangle
  188. Summoner of Darkness: Where Are You Hiding That Horse?
  189. Tired of people who don’t care. :( Tired of the harassment. :(
  190. What would happen if an Elf adopted a Human baby? | Writing Fantasy Books
  191. Page 10 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  192. Page 3 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  193. Page 8 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  194. SCRIPT FRENZY 2010: I WON! & Psycho Stalker Attacks
  195. Wristlets, Wrist Bags, Mini Clutch, Cosmetic Bags, and Designer Mini Purses
  196. Writing Your Novel: Do you save chapters as individual files?
  197. Are old AD&D adventures still any use to current players?
  198. Autistics Have Feelings Too & Diverse Books Rant
  199. Be True To You: YouTube Gamers: "Faking" a personality until you make it?
  200. City of The Slushies | Chapter 10 | Quaraun The Insane
  201. HEA in Erotica (Should You Write Happily Ever Afters?)
  202. Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies



dancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing banana


“Karma comes after everyone eventually. You can't get away with screwing people over your whole life, I don't care who you are. What goes aroMy Two Favorite People: FarDarrig and The Baby That Never Should Have Been

Need help writing characters of color | EelKat on racist white readers

und comes around. That's how it works. Sooner or later the universe will serve you the revenge that you deserve.” 

― Jessica Brody


"By autistic standards, the “normal” brain is easily distractible, is obsessively social, and suffers from a deficit of attention to detail and routine. Thus people on the spectrum experience the neurotypical world as relentlessly unpredictable and chaotic, perpetually turned up too loud, and full of people who have little respect for personal space." 

— Steve Silberman



Attempt Something New Today! – too many people talk about doing this or that but few actually take action, it's the why behind why so few succeed and so many fail.




I'm not made of money, I'm made out of glitter and kittens. 

~CinnamonToastKen 2017


“When people see you're happy doing what you're doing, it sort of takes the power away from them to tease you about it.” 

― Wendy Mass, Every Soul a Star




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"Do not fear people with Autism, embrace them, Do not spite people with Autism unite them, Do not deny people with Autism accept them for then their abilities will shine" 

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“1. Bullying is not okay. Period.

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3. If your sincerely-held religious beliefs require you to bully children, then your beliefs are fucked up.” 

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