November 14, 2023 will be the 10 year anniversary of the November 14, 2013 murder of my 8 month old infant son, at BugLight Lighthouse Art Studio of Southern Maine Community College in South Portland, Maine. If you have any information about who his killer is, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322


My Son Was Murdered, The Killer Walks Free, Your Child Could Be Next!

FAQ: What are the most visited pages on this website and how many visits do they get?

Several years ago, I wrote an article on how to write different types of magic uses, or rather how I personally write various types of magic users within the context of my Quaraun books. Today that page is one of my top ten most visited articles. It gets 50 to 500 views/reads/hits/visits per day depending on the time of the years and has had over 200k visits total since it was published.

Amphibious Aliens: Debunking The Atwater Family's Alien Abduction Hoax with more then 30MILLION reads since 2007 and The GoldenEagle: Debunking Stephen King's World's Most Haunted Car Hoax with over tenMILLION reads since 2007 still rank as the two most visited articles on my website, but, neither of those are writing related.

Writing Medieval Servants is my most visited writing related article with over 7MILLION reads.

This website was started in 1996 and has 1 to 3 new articles (all written by me, I am the only writer on this site) published almost daily. In 2017 we crossed ten thousand articles published. As of 2023, EACH article gets MINIMUM 10 to 70 reads PER DAY, with the high traffic articles getting 500+ reads per day.

And since December 2019, my website now gets three hundred thousand to 7 million reads per month - well over ONE HUNDRED MILLION PAGE READS PER YEAR, making it not only the single most trafficked site in the State of Maine, but also one of the most visited websites in ALL OF NEW ENGLAND!

{{{HUGS}}} Thank you to all my readers for making this possible!

 TRIGGERED! I'm a Straight Cis Woman, but I am deemed Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach, Are you too gay for the bigoted, minority harassing, white power, gay hating psychos of The Old Orchard Beach Town Hall Too? 

Why was your manuscript rejected?
EelKat gives feedback on why one author's book got rejected 150+ times.

By EelKat Wendy C Allen

Author of Cozy & Gothic Fantasy, Sweet/Fluffy M/M Furry Romance, Cosmic Horror, Space Opera, & Literary SoL genres. I write Elves, Fae, Unicorns, & Demons.

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If you enjoyed this page, don't forget to share it on social media (share links in the hovering sidebar to the left) or place a link to it on your own blog or website. Here is a code you can use on your site, just change the all cap parts to match the page you are currently read:


[PubQ] How Many Youtube Subscribers Does It Take to Land a Major Book Deal? from PubTips

The Space Dock 13 WebRing

What do you want to become? 
What did you do today to step closer to that goal?
Whatever you do, be your best at it!
And remember to have yourself a great and wonderfully glorious day!


By EelKat Wendy C Allen

Eye of the GrigoriIf you ever made fun of or had any part in the destruction of my farm, and the illegal selling of half of my land to Colliard, you shall lose your land.
tent2.JPGIf you ever made fun of or had any part in my being homeless since 2006 - YES, I AM still homeless in 2023, you shall become homeless.
eelkats_house_before_after.jpgIf you ever made fun of or had any part in the backhoe driving over my house, you shall lose your house.
home again the return of the goldeneagle dodge 330If you ever made fun of or had any part in my car being cut in half, you shall lose your car.
volvo-art-car-eelkat-Dazzling-Razzbury-3-artist-wendy-c-allen-painting3.pngIf you ever made fun of or had any part in my becoming crippled, you shall lose your health.
If you ever made fun of or had any part in the murder of my son, your child shall die an equally horrible death.

Evil men go out of their way to try to drive a person to suicide.

Are you an evil man?

Are you sure you're not?

How many people have YOUR hate filled words killed?

Next time you go to do a mean thing to a fellow human, stop and really think about the consequences of your actions.

Did you ever notice how every one has a story to tell about me, yet not one of them ever speaks the truth?

What lies has YOUR gossiping tongue spread about me?

Did you know...

October 16, 2006, bomb blew up my house because of YOUR lies.

August 8, 2013, the house which replaced the one the bomb blew up, was driven over by a backhoe.

November 14, 2013, my 8 month old infant son was murdered because of your lies.

November 14, 2013, I was beaten up, paralized for 5 months, spent 18 weeks relearning to walk, I'm now crippled for the rest of my life, because of YOUR lies.

Are you proud of what you have done?

Enjoy your eternity in Hell. You earned it. You've certainly worked hard for it.


If you have any information about any of these events, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322

My long time readers are fully aware that I do not take time out of my busy schedule to offer manuscript reading services.

So, they are probably all in shock now to see this page, and to see me doing just that.

Well, I've not read his manuscript. Nor will I.

However, his rampage across the internet, his obsessively hounding and stalking agents on ever social media, and now his raving inferno rants of Reddit...

This guy needs a serious reality check...

and other authors would do well to learn from his glaring mistakes, so... I'm responding to him...

but, you know me, I never do anything in private... you want to make a fool of yourself in public... who am I to not respond in public as well...

If you are reading this... don't be this guy (and yes, he has been given this message already and, well no doubt you'll see my name in his next round of author bashing insanity.)

Okay... I'm reading your comments, and rather then reply in a bunch of places, I'll reply all at once in one post, so I can keep my thoughts straight. Hopefully, something I say ends up helping you out?

  • All of the top youtubers have books, and few of them can write. But how far down the pyramid does the automatic book deal go?

There is no such thing as an automatic book deal.

  • Top Youtubers have Millions of Subscribers and can be found easily on "Top 20 Youtube Subscribers with Book Deals" lists. But a lot more youtubers than 20 youtubers receive top 5 pub deals per year.

Fewer then 100 out of 50million channels have ever gotten book deals. I'm not sure how you comcluded a YouTube channel = a book deal.

  • I just watched a video of a 25 year old girl who got a book deal about her youtube channel and she has only 3,500 subscribers. She says she did it by networking and conventions because as a former magazine's junior editor she knew most queries aren't even read.

And you answered your own question.

She did the work and found a way to market her book.

That's not some book publisher out of the blue giving a random YouTuber a deal, that's the YouTuber getting off her ass and reaching out to the publishers, just like EVERY author should be doing.

You got some serious ego issues if you think book publishers are grovelling at authors' feet offering then contracts.

  • So given that a person can write (two Writers of the Future awards, two small press novella deals, and a journalist's resume), how many Youtube subscribers does it take to make agents and big presses feel like they have to sign you because of the guaranteed front-sales? Apparently, whether the agent thinks PewdiePie's MS "just didn't grab me the way I hoped it would" or not, it's hard to pass up guaranteed sales.

Disney owns the rights to Pewdiepie's name, they've been slapping his name on everything these days.

  • Just wondering if I should try again at 5000 or wait until 10,000 or more.

You should never stop trying.

Heck, if I waited for the internet to be invented, and then waited for YouTube to be invented, before I started trying to get published, I woudn't have been published way back in 1978.

  • So I broke the novel into novellas and won two awards from Writers of the Future and landed two small press deals. I don't want to write another novel that isn't going to be picked up by an agent or major publisher

So, you are an author who is refusing to write a book, because you want a publishing contract first.

Ooooh. So you're telling me you're delusional and have no idea that the defanition of an author is one who publishs novels, and you don't know that you are just a writer and will never be an author until after you publish a novel, but you are spiting the publishing houses and refusing to write a novel, because the publishing houses are not knocking on your front door begging you to rite a book.


So now we know what your problem is and why you can' get published. You dopn't yet have anything to publish! You are too busy looking for contracts to the book that you have not yet written to take the time to even write it.


  • So my plan is to win the whole Writers of the Future and build my social media, since I need it anyway to make sure the books sell. My youtube is growing steadily because of my music career and I'm now merging the two with the release of my upcoming audiobook's soundtrack.

You do realize no one cares about awards, right?

  • but I'd need 70,000 more words because agants don't think 90.000 is enough for five POVs. It's adult fantasy but not epic fantasy. It's the first book that reads like epic fantasy but is actually prehistoric fiction.

When you say "epic fantasy" what exactly do you mean? The industry standard definition of "epic fantasy" is "a Fantasy novel of 300,000 or more words"

If it's under 300k words, it's not Epic Fantasy, because Epic refers to the word count not the genre. I write Epic fantasy, that's how I know this.

This is why you have:

  • Epic High Fantasy
  • Epic Dark Fantasy
  • Epic Historical Fantasy
  • Epic Sword & Sorcery
  • etc

High Fantasy is a world with a lot of magic and magical creatures, set in a world that is not earth.

Low Fantasy is a world with little to no magic and set on earth or an alternate earth.

Dark Fantasy features Horror themes and creatures (such as Vampires or Zombies)

Historical Fantasy is any type of Fantasy that is set in a historical time period or era

Sword & Sorcery is wizards battling warriors, brawn against magic (think Dungeons and Dragons)

In my experience most publishers will not consider anything under 120k to be a novel. In the mind of most publishers, 90k is a novella. It is almost impossible to find a publisher that has the printing equipment capable of printing up a 500 page novel, thus very few publishers will even consider Epic Fantasy (as a 300k word novel is rarely less then 500 printed pages)

Epic Fantasy is a hard beast to sell, because so many people write it, yet so few publishers can handle physically printing up a 500 page tome.

But, this in turn is why I asked what it is you are referring to when you say Epic Fantasy, because you said it is Epic Fantasy and then said it is 90k words long?

Did you call your novel Epic Fantasy when you submitted it? If so, I'm thinking that could be the trouble you are running into, more then anything else....the fact that you are telling the publishers your novel is one thing, but then you are submitting something completely different. Publishers see it as a red flag, that this is an illiterate amature who not only doesn't know the industry, they don't know the genre they supposedly are writing either, when the author of the novel, doesn't know what the genre of the novel is, and a mistake like confusing a word count descriptor with a genre descriptor, could possibly have been the real reason for the rejection. They might be thinking: "They don't even know what Epic Fantasy means, why should I read this?"

I'm really thinking that you got rejected based off the fact that you know so very little about the Fantasy genre that you called something with fewer then 300k words "Epic".

The genre of Game of Thrones is Historical Low Fantasy written in Epic Length, thus why some people (incorrectly) refer to it as "Epic Fantasy", when in fact what they should be saying is Epic Length Historical Low Fantasy.

  • Some agents immediately think "Clan of the Cave Bear" when I say the evil 'prehistoric fiction word" but the two are nothing alike.

Understandable, considering there are not many novels set in prehistoric times.

Though, Clan of the Cavebear is certainly not one of the more popular novels of the setting.

ElfQuest and Conan the Barbarian are far more popular in the prehistoric genre.

  • Agents don't seem to realize that the existence of trolls and little people and many mythological creatures have been added to our archaeological record in the past 7 years and that fantasy fans deserve to know that their passion was justified after all.

Trolls and Little People. Ah! Something I know. Something I specialize in. You're talking to a Scotsman who focused on studying Gaelic Literature in college. Took archaeology classes along side literature classes. My main characters of my own series are a Yumba, a Each-uisge, and a Uruisg. Though, for simplicity, they often get referred to as an Elf, a Unicorn, and a Sheep Demon.

I can appreciate your posts, as I am familiar with the many obscure mythology references you have been making here.

My own series.... was rejected as well. Obscure creatures, so I was told, are not in demand. Well, I published them on my website and those not in demand creatures get 70,000 pages views a month now.

Most agents know a very limited area, specializing in that one type of book only, and when presented with something out of their area of expertise, well, they don't know what to do with it as well. Just because they are an agent, doesn't mean they are familiar with every niche. An agent who specializes in Murder Mysteries is not going to be the best at representing Romances.

Sounds to me like part of the issue is you have not yet found an agent who is well acquainted with your genre. I'd recommend continuing your search. There's bound to be an agent out there who is familiar with this sort of historical based fantasy. You just have to find him/her.

Have you tried reaching out to other authors who've published books similar to your own? Perhaps they could suggest an agent they have worked with or even recommend you to their agent?

Not sure if you've thought of it, but... have you tried looking into agents/publishers in Iceland, Finland, Denmark, Norway, or Sweden?

The reason I ask, is because troll mythology is HUGE in current/popular media in those countries, and I'd guess you'd have good luck finding agents that are looking for that sort of thing. Have you tried Egmont? (Danish publisher) I've published with them in the past. Not sure what they are currently looking for, but, they do publish English language books for both American and European market, and they've put out a LOT of books over the years that focused on Scandinavian mythology (including trolls.) Not sure what your story is vs what they look for, but, they might be right up your alley.

  • My book is more like Game of Thrones with an index in the back giving the scientific names of all the creatures involved and academic citations of all the ancient technologies discussed.

nods head knowingly

When I first started out....oh so many decades ago... I did the same thing. Charts, graphs, maps, and great big index in the back of the book.

You know what I was told by every publisher I submitted it to?

That the charts, graphs, maps, and index were great, they loved it... but it had to be cut, because it just wasn't part of the story. They said, maybe if the novel got popular enough, then I could take those things and publish it as a supplemental book for fans to buy. But, they said, if I couldn't find a way to weave the info into the novel itself, then it was unnecessary for the story.

  • Well they didn't really say anything, just form rejections. About 150 agents. Admittedly my first 80 queries or so were horrible.

A query should be 1 page long. 3 paragraphs describing the plot and NOTHING else.

Nothing about you, your awards, your research, the fact that you plan to add indexes to the book... NONE of that should be in the query.

The query should be 500 words at most.

Describe your plot, hook the agent, and shut the fuck up about EVERYTHING else.

  • Then I won some critiques and edits from pros on twitter, who told me it was because of my number of POVs and length. So I broke it down into Novellas with minimum changes and landed small press deals by entering pitch parties on twitter.


No one cares.

Awards are just a way for an author to fan his own vanity.

  • I was rejected by many agents and told it was likely because I had five POVs in a debut novel.



Definitely not.

Not after reading your comments.


It's you.

Not your book.

It's you and the shitty way you treat people, you raving screaming egomaniacal arrogance and your bullying demands for worship, that's why you are being rejected.

  • I was rejected by many agents and told it was likely because I had five POVs in a debut novel.

I've been told this as well. It seems to be the going theory that if you are unpublished to not write in multi PoV.


  • but agents dislike multiple POVs. I was told by three different professional that this should be my fourth or fifth book and right now i should be writing one or two POVs.

Okay.... my thought on this, is it's a bait and switch move and readers don't like that. If you write 1 POV in your first novel, your readers will expect it in EVERY novel and if in your 4th or 5th novel you suddenly change to write 5 PoVs, well, you'll lose a lot of readers who will not set out to buy your 5th or 6th book, because they expected 1 PoV.

So, I personally do not agree with the advice you were given. If 5 PoV is what your stories needs, then it's what you should write.

I do think the more PoV you have the harder it'll be to find a publisher, but that shouldn't stop you from writing 5 PoV stories. It just means you have to work harder to get it published then you would a novel with 1 PoV.

  • Three of them told me it was about the POVs, only one mentioned length. She said my book needs to be 300k if it's five povs, and debut authors don't get 300k word book deals, and advised I break it down and expand one or two POVs.

Ah... yes. I had already written my answer with the 300k advice, before getting to this comment.

Yep. 300k is typically the word count you see with lots of PoVs.

And yes, typically, the advise is in fact to cut the story, so that it is 5 mini-novels, 1 PoV each, rather then 1 big novel with 5 PoVs in one. That is pretty standard advice. And it's standard because, it is what most publishers look for.

I don't know... I'm thinking maybe you might want to look into self-publishing. It might be a better road for you? Not sure. It's something to think about. From what you are saying, it sounds like the rejections are not saying anything is wrong with the story itself, just that it's not the type of story they publish from an unknown. Which means it might do well self-published and then, with sales from it on your resume, you might have better chances trade publishing the next novel? Don't know. It's an option

  • She also said the speech of one of my two tribes might raise a red flag because they have a dialect that some could mistake as some kind of stereotype. But it has nothing to do with a stereotype, as the people I'm talking about are extinct it's simply that their conjugation is verb-subject-object instead of subject-verb-object. I know there are witch hunts going on about political correctness, but my heroes are in a matriarchy against an invading patriarchy at the dawn of civilization so I can't imagine that's what's bothering the agents!

Okay... let me tell you something here... if it sounds like you are making fun of Southern black people (even if that's not what you intended) no publisher will touch it with a 9 foot pole.

Let me tell you a story...

  • 1) I'm not white.
  • 2) I'm not American.
  • 3) Scots English, in my native language.
  • 4) My novels are written in Scots English.

What does Scots English look like?

Well, let me take this sentence I'm writing right now, and translate it for you.

If you know the language, you have no trouble reading it.

But if you do not know the language, you will find it very difficult to read, and will have no clue what the author is saying to you.

My language is often mocked by newbie writers who are quick make fools of themselves by trying to write poor American English and assuming that by making us Scottsmen sound like illiterate idiots no one will notice they don't know our language from chicken shit.

  1. Ahya, let me does be taking dis hera sentence I does did done go un writes up right hera un nows, un haves us hera a wee lil translation ofing it fors yis nows, eh?
  2. Iffy yis be knowing dem dairs tongue, yis be having nay bit o trouble for tos reads it, now, eh?
  3. Ah! But, iffy yas does nay be knowsing me tongue, yis all is be finding it wicked no difficult to reading dairs, eh? Un yawl be nah having no clue wat for it be wat de author does gone un saids tos ya now will ya?
  4. Me tongue, she does often be kurfuffled by de wee lil nippers, who done gone tossed dair bum oot de windea, try fors toos write us up as frightful Americea English. Deys gone done un make forth de assumptions we Scottsmen be illiterate eejits un not no one be for de caring to knows our tongue any different den cluckie dung.

You know "hoot mon!" isn't part of our language? How many authors identify a Scotsman by having them say that?

Do you also know, that the first time my books were published to the mass market of America, that I got HUNDREDS of hate emails from American readers who read my books and then lashed out at me saying:

"you can't pick on those poor southern black folks like that"

I'm sorry... but, I don't know what a Southern black person even sounds like. I've never meet one. And no I don't have a TV. But fact remains, those readers, were so bigoted against black people themselves, that they read a book written by a Scotsman, in Scots English, and MADE THE ASSUMPTION that I must be a white American picking on black southerners. It never occurred to them that I was not white, I was not American, or that the book was written in my native language and had NOT been translated into American English.

But apparently, the average American, is unaware that there are more then 50 different types of English, or that Scots English is actually the original English language UNCORRUPTED by the influence of French and German being filtered into it, as was done to create American English, which is also the LEAST accurate type of English out there, though, no American is gonna believe that, and they also can't understand why Europeans have such a hard time understanding Americans when they talk.

But the point is... KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE!

If you are writing a book for the American audience, you have to dumb it down and write it in American English, because the average American, doesn't know any alternative versions of English and is ALWAYS going to think "illiterate black man" no matter what language you write. I know this from experience.

My books get sold in Asia and Europe no problem at all. But in America? Sales to America have a 97% return rate, and it's ALWAYS because of the books being written in Scots English instead of American English, and Americans readers getting all offended and falsely accusing me of picking on black people.

They don't take into consideration the books are written in the Scottish language, written by a Scottish author, and feature.. omg... Scottish characters. Nope. They don't think of that part at all. They just see that it "looks" like what the American mind thinks of as "illiterate black speak" so that's what they accuse it of being.

Quite astounded me when it happened, really. Opened my eyes to how white Americans view black people. I can't think of any Scottish people who would look at out language and think "illiterate black man" but thats the term that HUNDREDS of Americans used in their hate emails when the books got released in America. Shocked the hell out of me.

So when you say this...

  • She also said the speech of one of my two tribes might raise a red flag because they have a dialect that some could mistake as some kind of stereotype. But it has nothing to do with a stereotype, as the people I'm talking about are extinct it's simply that their conjugation is verb-subject-object instead of subject-verb-object. I know there are witch hunts going on about political correctness, but my heroes are in a matriarchy against an invading patriarchy at the dawn of civilization so I can't imagine that's what's bothering the agents!

It doesn't matter what you the author intend.

All that matters in the publisher's mind is how the American public is going to PERCEIVE your intention.

You could have a Ph.D in linguistics and be writing the language flawlessly, and readers will STILL lash out at you thinking you are making fun of this race or that race.

And well, publishers, they don't want to be accused of publishing something that could be mistaken as racist, even if it's not racists at all.

When it comes to publicity, your intent doesn't matter and means absolutely nothing. Public perception is going to paint your book racists wither you like it or not.

If you are intent on keeping the dialects in the dialogue, you WILL NOT get a publishing contract from any of the big publishers. You are going to be limited to indie press or self publishing. Neither of which is a bad thing, but, you need to be prepared to have publishers tell you that. They will NOT make allowances for anything that could be mistranslated as racist.

  • I did get one full from Virginia Kidd, and was stoked because it's one of the top 5 in sci-fi and fantasy.

Huh. Never heard of her.

You seem to think she's important or something the way you are tossing her name all over kingdom come. Does she know you're doing that. Is she gonna like what she finds if she Google's herself and reads what you been saying?

Very unprofessional move you are doing here.

You know that right?

  • I did get one full from Virginia Kidd, and was stoked because it's one of the top 5 in sci-fi and fantasy. That's kind of what made me mess up - I thought it meant I had a good query, and kept sending it. It was actually a horrible query and the intern just liked the idea of fantasy being proven a real aspect of our prehistoric past.

It's HER fault you messed up your query?

Not yours?

SHE made you write your query wrong because she's famous?

You're a real piece of work, you know that right?

Everything is everybody else's fault and can do no wrong.

  • Or I guess that's what happened, he went into the hospital for knee surgery and never came back to the agancy.

So, your rejection slip is because he broke his knee. It's all HIS fault. Not your's. Has nothing to do with you at all.


Got it.

You are God and can do no wrong.

Good to know.

  • Oh- no they weren't agents. They were editors and published authors.

So, from what you are saying, editors and published authors don't know shit, because only an agent is worth talking to, and you're saying that to Sarah Ashiers, who has said to you in her reply that she's a trade published author and maybe she could help, but because you think she's JUST one of those insignificant know nothing authors, not like you, someone who bases your characters of real history, no, she just writes Fantasy, so all this, page after page after page of detailed very helpful advice she has given you don't mean squat, because ONLY the opinions of an agent matter?

Okay, do you even know who you're talking to? Have you even checked Sarah Ahiers profile here? You do know she's an agent right?

GOD! Do talk to all agents like this? Yie! No wonder you are getting rejections!

This forum does have quite a few agents on it, and you're not only gonna chew out an agent, but one of the mod agents, who happens to also be the admin of this forum?

Hey, way to go. You just sunk every deal you could have had, with every agents who reads this forum, written by agents offering advice for writers looking to get published. Yay you, you just killed your career and you ain't even got started.

My oh my! Do you not know this is a public forum!

  • Only one agent gave me any feedback. Eric Smith- he actually helped me with my query letter after rejecting me, and then said "Looks like you have a really fun story there!" but he still passed.

Does he know you are tossing his name around on a public forum like this?

Perhaps he started to help you, but backed out after he saw you doing this name tossing game with other agents before him, so he ran away to escape you before you attacked him like you did every other agent who rejected you.

  • I'm just bewildered about that viewpoint. If i enjoy a 17,000 word story, I'm not going to suddenly dislike it if you but it inside a larger story. Why is brevity ok for this and not for that? I love Ernest hemingway and Thomas Pynchon because they are brief and don't bog me down with pages and pages of navel gazing like so many modern novels do.

What is there to be bewildered by?

It's a novella. Nothing wrong with that. It doesn't have to be a novel.

Stop acting like novels are best and novel writers are legit, but novellas are shit and novella authors are hacks.

Your attitude is your problem.

  • The thing is, if the POVs were rushed they wouldn't have won awards or found reputeable small presses.

And they not having awards is important, how exactly?

Are you that much of a jerk that you can't read something that never won an award?

And what is it with your constant snide remarks about small press, and acting like you stepped in dog shit because the only publishers interesting in your work are small press?

  • I'm so not looking forward to writing a one POV novel, because I haven't read one since highschool (not counting assignments in college).

Then why the hell are you doing it?

Your passive aggressive "I don't want to do this but I'll do it anyways so there!" makes you come off as a 2 year old holding their breath.

Do you have any idea how stupid saying things like this makes you look?

  • In high fantasy, one POV sounds way too biased to me. It's like only getting one soldier's perspective of something he couldn't possible know everything about.

Do you read High Fantasy?

Do you even know what it is?

High Fantasy is heavily magic based, featuring wizards and magic and Elves and wizards and magic and fairies and wizards and magic and .... oh look, there's more wizards over there.

Yes, I did read your little rant about how much you hate wizards and sorcery and magic because you know evil booga-booga, it doesn't exist and it isn't real...

Hey did you know a person can look up your profile and see AAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLL the rants you've been having EVERYWHERE on Reddit, not just this one I'm responding to now?

You might want to thank your lucky stars I'm not a Fantasy agent reading your agent hating, wizard bashing, magic is bad, Fantasy shouldn't have magic in it, boo-hoo I write historical accuracy and no one loves a scientist pity parties.


Can any one say unprofessionalism!

Tip: You might want to go back and delete some of those rants before too many agents get a hold of them.

  • I don't assume I'm a great writer and I'm constantly learning new things, but I'm definitely better than Pewdiepie and the 15 year old a big house just signed, and I know how to get to where they are on youtube. It will just take a few years.

You do realize Pewdiepie works for Disney right? Disney gobbles up everything they think is going to make money fast, and spits it out quick soon as it starts losing money. Pewdiepie had guaranteed sales. The book sold 50 million copies the first month. And have you read it? It's not a book he "wrote" It's a bunch of motivational quotes he compiled, with peppy illustrations. He just let Disney slap his name on a collection of upbeat quotes for kids. And he didn't have a choice. Disney owns the rights to his name, they can put it on anything they want to.

Those YouTubers you are mentioning, they all work for Maker Studios YouTube Network, a division of Disney Corp. Disney owns several of the world's largest publishers including Egmont and Hatchet. These people were not being approached at random. They basically sold their souls to the devil. Disney takes 60% of their YouTube income and if Disney says they have to write a book - they write a book, wither they want to or not. Felix did not write a book.

  • The reason I'm confused is because I've had pro after pro tell me it's solid writing and a fascinating concept, I've won awards for it, and I've gotten two novella deals from it.

And yet, you continue to pitch Historical Fiction to Fantasy Agents while telling them to kiss your feet and wipe your ass.


Try sending your novel to publishers who publish your genre and stop bossing people around.

  • The only people who don't seem to like it are agents, and they won't tell me why.

Probably has something to do with both your way of talking to them and treating them like shit, along side of your sending a Historical Fiction manuscript to Fantasy authors.

  • Jane Aule is way out of date and reads like prehistoric fiction, not epic fantasy. There are no temples, moats, walled settlements, no sorcerors, no real monsters. So she and I have little in common. In fact the two stories are set 12,000 years apart and I lament the fact that the literary world sees the Neolithic, Mesolithic, and Paleolithic as all the same thing.

Again, you have no idea what Epic Fantasy even is. It is so painfully obvious that you have very little knowledge of the Fantasy genre. Your misuse of the words Epic Fantasy, over and over and over and over again, is such a HUGE red flag! No wonder you are getting rejections from Fantasy agents! No agent is gonna accept any one who doesn't even know the meanings of the words they use.

You did so much research else where, how could you mess up on something so simple like this?

It's basic common knowledge that EVERY reader of Fantasy KNOWS without having to think about it. You are trying to write a genre you don't even read! There is no bigger, more amature mistake in the industry!

Why do you think every one says: Write what you know; Read what you write?

How can you expect to get accepted by an agent who specializes in Fantasy, when you don't even know what Epic Fantasy is?!?!?

High Fantasy is what you are referencing, and really, if you are spouting off such huge glaring inaccuracies in your queries, it's no wonder you are getting rejected.

You really need to get your words straight

Epic Fantasy refers the the length of the book, the amount of words.

You going off on a rant, giving an agent hell, while calling ANY manuscript under 300,000 words "Epic", really just makes the agent roll her eyes and think: "Look at that idiot! Thinks he knows so much about the industry, and doesn't even know the meaning of the word Epic Fantasy"

Nothing is going to get you a reject slip faster then telling the agent "I write Murder Mysteries" and then handing them a Romance. And that's you're doing. You are telling them you are giving them Epic Fantasy and then you give them something completely different.

I mean, I can see that you've done massive amounts of research into the history of your setting... I'm just wondering why you didn't think to do as much research into the genre meanings as well?

This is not a small error you are making here. This is a HUGE, red flag level, glaring error that is not going to win you any contracts with agents who actually do know the meanings of the words you are using very incorrectly.

Think about it... why should an agent, editor, or publisher take you seriously as a professional Fantasy author, when you don't even know what the word "Epic Fantasy" means? Put yourself in their shoes.

What would you think, if someone came up to you talking about troll and got all their facts, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong... then argued with you and made a complete fool of themselve in front of you, the person who has done the research and knows they got their facts wrong?

  • My social media has definitely not reached critical mass, and at the time of query it was more about music than prehistory so you're right about the overlap too. But it's growing and I have a plan.

Your social media should be about YOU and show potential clients how your represent yourself as a professional online.

And Reddit is social media, Don't forget that.

And these agents you are chewing out here... they have connections to all the other agents you might ever submit to.

Agents stick together.

You treat one like shit on a public social media like you are doing right now and none of them is ever going to hook ya.

  • One other thing I've been told by an aquisitions editor at Tor is that no one wants prehistoric fiction, that Jane Aule drove that horse into the dirt.

That would be because Tor is a Fantasy publisher and they don't publish Historic Fiction.

Stop submitting Historical Fiction to Fantasy publishers!

Is that so hard to figure out?

They don't publish Erotica either! You gonna send them that next?

  • This tells me agents don't keep up with paleoanthropology and probably don't know about Balangoda man, the Red Deer Cave People, The Hobbit of Indoonesia, the Palau Hominids, Iwu Eleru, or the existence of the Elasmotherium unicorn into the Mesolithic, or even about the massive terror birds that look just like early depictions of dragons. They don't know the dragon of Ishtar's Gate was a giant pangolin because few people know that pangolins the size of hippos actually existed.

Why would they?

They work with Fantasy authors not Historical Fiction authors!

I don't know, maybe the publisher you want is National Geographic or DKEyewitness or Archaeological Digest? The agents for them, keep up on that sort of stuff. You know, because they specialize in that sort of stuff?

I'm getting the feeling you might be happier writing non-fiction for science and history journals. Have you considered that as a possible career? You really do have a vast amount of knowledge in this area from what I'm reading here and you seem to enjoy the non-fiction aspect more then the fiction writing aspect.

I've written lots of non-fiction articles for magazines over the years, It's something you can get into without an agent and if you find a topic you like a lot (which I think you have) it's possible to do it as a full time career. I really think you should look into it, because I'm getting the impression that you have a lot of info on this stuff that you are itching to share and are feeling frustrated with not being able to share it. And I'm wondering if, perhaps, trying to share it as a fiction novel, is maybe the wrong path for you? Maybe writing a series of a lot of 1,000 word non-fiction articles and submitting them to magazines is a place you'd be happier?

Or have you thought about the possibility of building a Niche Topic Content Site? You could fill it up with lots of pages of your research AND you could post your fiction work on it as well. I've done this myself, and it can be a very good income. In fact, it's my full time income these days. Monetize it with AdSense and affiliates and sales of my books.

Like I said... I understand your frustrations, because a lot of the stuff you are saying is stuff I've been through myself. (And yes, I was aware of the giant pangolins... You and me sound like kindred spirits.... until I continue reading...)

  • And keywords for these terms are going off the chain with little available to satisfy the curious. There's not even a story about the Hobbit of Flores available, except a little self-pubbed kid's book...and thousands of searches per month on google.

Hobbit of Flores. You know 3 of them are on display here in Maine. I've seen them.

You also know they aren't Hobbits right? They're the Picts. You know, my people. It's why we Scottish Gypsies are so short.

Hobbit of Flores is a name white men slapped on us. And we who are still alive, don't exactly like it. Because we ain't Hobbits. We are Humans. And we Gypsies are sick and tired of white men not treating us like Humans.

You do so much research... and yet... you make so many mistakes. How is that?

I'm starting to think, you don't know nearly as much as you think you do.

And I just checked BrainStormIt...

Hobbit of Flores was searched for (on Google, Bing, and Yahoo combined) fewer then 10 times in the last 28 days

(While you brag of being an SEO expert - I actually am one. I do this for a living. You are making HUGE errors in your facts. You're not as smart as you think you are.)

  • I can't expand the novellas because both already found small presses and will be released next year.

Is that hind sight I here?


Do you hate small press and novellas so much, that you can not be happy with the deal you got, so, now you are bitching and moaning.

  • Well there's a two POV section of it that's 30,000 words which was too long to enter into WOTF.

You put so much focus on competition and awards. Damn. You must have had one shitty childhood, to be running around needing to be on top.

You need a reality check.

BOY do you ever need a reality check.

  • Radiant Crown is interested in publishing it as a novella...but if I decided to lengthen it to novel size.... how would i expand? With 50 thousand words of navel-gazing? Or could I go ahead and write the next part of the adventure and have two hero's journey's in one novel?

You write a damn story. That's how you expand. You don't run around the internet acting like a jackass and braying about how writing 50,000 words is too difficult for you to do.

If writing a novel is too hard for you to do, then what the hell are you doing trying to write novels to begin with?

No one cares about your self righteous pity party.

Move on to something you do want to do and stop wasting everyone's time!


  • I'm definitely going to write another book, but until I know what they want or until I have a massive social media, I'm gonna stick to non-fiction and Writers of the Future short story entries.

Oh good lord!

There you go again.

You gotta write a book, but you need mommy to wipe your ass and dictate what you should write.

Cut the damned apron strings and write your damned book for crying out loud!

What the hell is wrong with you?

Do you need training wheels for everything in life?

You got servants to feed you as well, so you don't have to bothered lifting those silver spoons?

  • I just don't agree with the industry's idea of writing a book into the ether that may never get read. I'll serialize the damn thing and put it up on Youtube first. At least it will get read (or listened to).

Again with the high and mighty, holier then thou, I'm better then everybody attitude.

So, now YouTube is shit too, and you wouldn't normally touch it, but damn, you are so much better then every body that you would rather publish to YouTube then get caught being published by some second rant small press.


Are you even listening to yourself!

Wow. You know, I'd like to see your query letters. Find out if they are half as shit faced arrogant as your forum posts are.

You really think any one is gonna give you a publish contract with that mountain of a chip you got on your shoulder?

You're not God you know. You are just another Human, just like everyone else.

  • If my first two excerpts hadn't won awards, I wouldn't have finished the book. But winning assured me I had something, so I continued.

What the frigging fuck?

You can't just write for yourself and be happy with that?

I am trying to wrap my brain around your logic. Your extreme levels of arrogance is so baffling.

If you hadn't won an award, you wouldn't have finished the book.

Well, boo-hoo-hoo.

Go cry your pity party in the corner.

You're sitting on a cushy life if winning awards is the only thing you got to cry about.

  • How many POVs do you want?

You just don't get it do you. It's not about the PoV. It's about your shitty attitude. No one wants to work with a arrogant control freak, and let's face it, that's what you are.

Why don't you do the same thing I'm doing... pick your ranting forum post apart, line by line and analyze every word for it's meaning.

You got a stick up your ass and until you pull it out, there ain't no one in the publishing industry gonna get near you let alone work with you.

You got some series issues, and it's not your book that's holding you back. It's your bitchy way you treat your superiors.

  • How long?

Who cares.

A story is as long as it needs to be. You start at the beginning and write til the end.

The word count tells you what type of story it is.

90,0000 words is a novella.

There's nothing wrong with writing novellas.

The problem is, you are so arrogant and think you are o better then every body, that you are trying to convince the know-nothing publishers they MUST publish your GREAT and WONDERFUL shit or else. Publishers don't like being told they know nothing. They don't like authors riding in on a high horse and pushing them around.

Agents. Editors. Publishers. They are your superiors, and you need to suck in that ego of your's and start treating your superiors with a little respect.

Telling them, they ain't worth shit and don't know a good story when they see it, is the REASON you can't get published, you freaking idiot!

Open your eyes!

Stop treating the publishers like shit, and maybe you'll have better luck!

Good god! The attitude you have!

  • How much time do you want me to spend on the silly love interest?

There you go with that attitude again.

Do you ever stop and think, before you open your mouth?

Oh boo-hoo, you don't my story, you think it'll be better if I add a silly love interest, well, there, I added it, how do you like that, see I ruined my story for you.


Somebody really needs to slice that pedestal out from under your gold plated feet.

You got some serious personality issues, and you might find it hard to get published until you see a psychiatrists and start talking so meds.

So, you hate Romance. Good to know. Now every agent who read your forum posts, know that any romance you added to your story, you did just to spite some agent at Tor.


Way to get agents to like you.

  • Are these goals and stakes heavy enough for you?

Again. Who cares. It's your story. Not theirs. Why is it so hard for you to just write your story? Why do you need the praise and approval of others? Why can't you just write?

More attitude.

I can't get over how much of it you have.

My oh my, but you're a pip!

I pity your spouse. I'm glad I don't live with you. Damn, you must be a nightmare and a half if you are this bad on a public forum.


You need it.

You lack it.

Quite badly.

You are acting very immature and childish.

Publishers want to work with professionals, not tantrum throwing toddlers.

  • If I could say "How many POVs do you want? How long? How much time do you want me to spend on the silly love interest? Are these goals and stakes heavy enough for you?" before I write it, that would be fine....because all I care about is writing prehistoric fiction that reads exactly like fantasy and is provable by science.

Did you see it?

I did.

I know what your problem is.

You said it loud and clear.

  • all I care about is writing prehistoric fiction that reads exactly like fantasy and is provable by science.

You don't know what Fantasy is.

  • I believe fantasy readers NEED this, after living a life where everyone told them their interests are for kids. After having to hide the covers of their books on the subway for decades.

What the frick are you even talking about?

There's only like 4 cities on the planet that even have subways.

And subways are a fairly new inventions.

Kids ain't been hiding on them for decades yet.

So what kids are you talking about?

  • I believe fantasy readers NEED this, after living a life where everyone told them their interests are for kids.

So Daddy Warbucks didn't let you read Fantasy books, right?

You know... I hate to say this, but you sound like someone who might have Autism. REAL Autism. Kanner's Syndrome. You know, the psychosis that is caused by being sexually abused by a parent in your infant or toddler years.

Is that why you hate authority figures so much?

Is that why you are running around the internet screaming how great you are while belittling every publisher and agent who tries to help you?

You do realize that the average child reads Fantasy books and doesn't have to hide that fact?

Are you aware that the average child has never even heard of a subway, let alone knows what one is, considering they are so very rare, and... the only reason why someone would reference such a rare event as hiding on a subway, was if because that's what they did as a child.

I'm picking up a lot of feelings of hate and fear, you building up prickly walls around you and snapping at everyone, trusting no one, and feeling very small, so trying to make yourself look big, by trolling agents on social media.

That's not the way to win friends or get a contract.

  • Whatever the agents want, I can write, just so long as it can be set before 10,000 years ago

That's the wrong attitude.

You don't write for an audience, you write the thing, YOU want to read. You write the book, you desired to read, but can't find. Tell the story, as it comes to you. To hell with everyone else. Their opinions mean nothing.

Every publisher wants something different.

Every agents has her own ideas about what is best.

If you try to please every one, you'll end up pleasing no one, so just go ahead and please yourself.

It's as simple as that.

If you need someone to tell you want to write, then your problem is that you don't have anything to write.

  • and I get to blow your mind at the end with an original twilight zone twist.

Publishers actually want that. Read their submission guidelines, you find that requested by nearly every publisher.

  • 99% of Fantasy books I read disappoint me because there's no powerful turn-around or twist...which might be why I like George Martin so much.

Uhm... I'm not sure how GRRMartian compares to Twilight Zone or has plot twists. But whatever.

It's also difficult to call what he writes Fantasy.

He write's War Stories and Historical Fiction, in a non-earth world. The fact that it takes place someplace other then earth is the only reason it gets classified as Fantasy at all.

Which, again, leads me to question, what exactly you know about Fantasy, as most everything you've said indicates you know nothing about Fantasy at all.

You even admit you don't like 90% of Fantasy out there, and only like Martian ... but Martin is not really Fantasy to begin with, so.... I don't think Fantasy is what you think it is.

Martian is Historical Fiction. The only reason it's not called that is because it's not set on earth.

I think, you need to look into Historical Fiction genre. Read that instead and see if you can find more books to your taste.

Look into Historical Fiction agents and publishers and see if perhaps you have better luck getting published.

I really think you are desperately confused about what constitutes as Fantasy, and from what you are describing, I don't think your book is Fantasy at all.

The very definition of Fantasy is: "something that is fantastic; causes suspension of disbelief; draws you into a none realist world"

It's VERY difficult to use Historical Fiction and Fantasy in the same sentence and make them fit together.

Fantasy LACKS historical accuracy.

Fantasy LACKS scientific proof.

That's what makes Fantasy, fantasy to begin with,

And here you are, saying you hate Fantasy because it lacks Historical accuracy and scientific proofs, so you are going to write historically accuracy, scientifically proven Fantasy?

I'm sorry, but it is so painfully obvious that you have no clue what Fantasy is, and with your extreme inability to graspe the concept of Fantasy, it's no wonder you can't get Fantasy publishers and Fantasy agents to give you the time of day.

You're coming off to them as a kook and a hack, and a very arrogant amature one at that.

I can even pretend that romantic love existed in the Mesolithic if they want, and make a small caveat to the accuracy.There you go with that arrogance again.Boy do you ever hate romance and love.Are you a robot?Do you have emotions?Do you have feelings?Is their anything other than overbearing narcissism under that giant ego of yours?You know, you are being rejected without explanation, because agents are scared shittless of you, right? Do you know why? Because you are like 1 in every 3 Americans who self diagnose themselves with Aspergers.... an sociopathic narcissist looking for fan favour and ready to implode at moment.Authors like you are a dime a dozen. Agents see dozens of you every single day.And they know, it's NOT good business practice to deal with a sociopath, because a sociopath is a backstabbing bastard who cares only about himself and his overblown ego, and runs around on forums, doing exactly what you are doing right now.Look at all the agents, who's names you've smeared all over Reddit today?You really have to ask why no publisher or agent will touch your book?All they got to do is Google your name to find out how shittily you've treated the other agents before them.Did you think of that?You admit to be hounding their Twitter accounts asking for answers to why they rejected you and now you are pissed because they ignore and block you on social media.Oh geeh, I wonder why?You're acting like a sppoiled brat who has to have his way or else.You're acting like an ingrate hoodlum, who slashes someone's tires, because you didn't like the colour of their mailbox.You're acting like a rabid animal running around the internet attacking every agent you cross paths with.What the hell is wrong with you?You want someone to publish your book?Why the hell should they?What reason have you given them to think they could trust you long enough to work with you?Look at the shit you are pulling on this forum right now.You got an agent here helping you for free, and shit all over her! What the hell is wrong with you?She didn't have to spend her time, working for free, here on Reddit, trying to help you. But she did. And what did you do? Post a hundred comments on every comment she made, to tell her how much you are the greatest king shit on the planet because your Fantasy has historical accuracy and your Fantasy has science and proof and evidence, and your Fantasy is better then every one elses because 90% of Fantasy don't know how to write Fantasy.Oooooh, the teddy bears are marching tonight!You stupid idiot. She was trying to help you.If you don't want help, then why are you asking for it.Don't ask agents to help you if the only thing you really want is a pat on the back and to be told you are king shit and all agents are crap.You winning any personality prizes here.And in the publishing industry you need them. You need them alone.Your public image is going to sell more books then the book's contents ever will.Look at your public image.Take a step back and take a good, long, hard look at what you are doing right here, right now... because guess what... your posts here are about to be read by all 3 million of my readers.Do you really what 3 million Fantasy readers, to read what you wrote here, about how They who read Fantasy are stupid idiots who are only reading Fantasy because they are too stupid to know any better?You really think, calling your potential readers stupid is gonna make them want to read your books?Do you even have a brain in your head, at all? You might want to turn it on and start using it, because there ain't no one who wants to read an author who thinks readers are too stupid to know what they want to read.Damn!Good God!Your readers should be your friend. You thinking of them as your family and treating them like family.Be nice to your readers.Be nice to agents and publishers too.You can't see why no one wants to work with you, because you're too busy telling them all the reasons why they are worthless know nothings in need of your saving.You're not Jesus you know.They don't need you to be their saviour.

  • I believe fantasy readers NEED this

Yes, but, what they want and what they need are not always the same thing.

NEED to be told.


Because they are stupid and arrogant little you has to teach them better?

You who doesn't know the difference between High Fantasy, Low Fantasy, or Epic Fantasy.

You who had a rant on how your novel is better because it contains no castles or wizards?

You who are right now, yelling at an agent, on a public forum, where every professional who may consider publishing you, can easily find your very unprofessional rant telling off an agent?

You who know nothing about the Fantasy genre, but have decided Fantasy readers need to be taught how stupid they are, for not knowing the history behind the myths?

Turn the tables around... would you like a self proclaimed know-it-all, telling you, you were stupid, because you enjoyed reading a novel, that they didn't like because it didn't fit with their world view?

You know that's what you just did right?

Did you use lines like that in your queries to agents as well?

Do you have any idea how stuck up, arrogant, and incredibly unprofessional you are acting right now?

Take a look in the mirror.

Would YOU want to be treated the way you are treating others right now?

Would YOU want to be told you were stupid and NEED to be taught better, for liking to read fiction novels? Did it ever occur to you, most readers don't care the history behind the myths?


In bold letters. That really stands out. And it says a lot about your true motives.

Perhaps what you really want then is to write a college text book, but you feel you have to disguise it as a Fantasy novel because it's the only way the little stupid know nothings will ever read it?

WOW! That kind of snippy attitude will certainly get your rejection slips from agents. You might want to brush up on your people skills a little bit.

Publishers/agents/editors, also pick who they work with by their personality. They don't want to work with a hot head who could end up embarrassing their company in public, the way you are doing to a ton of agents in this thread right now.

Reminds me of... those teddy bears. Who in the publishing industry, doesn't remember that very public author meltdown? Don't become that author. Captain Teddy can't get a publishing contract today after that meltdown.

I get that you are frustrated, but you might want to reel in those snide put downs a bit. Okay?

But that line, that says to me even more that the correct road for you may in fact be to post the story on a website. A content site where you can both share your research and your writing side by side. You'll get a lot more eyes on your web pages, then you could ever hope to have on a published novel. I use SBI (Solo Build It) for my content sites. It might be worth looking into. It certain pays more the trade publishing ever did, at least for me, and since posting my fiction online, it's reached far more readers then it ever did in print.

If your goal is reaching as many readers as possible, then building a website is going to bring you way more results then publishing a book.

The average Fantasy book only sells 5,000 copies in it's lifetime, with the bulk of them going out of print just 6 months after publication. Whereas the average content web site gets 500 views per page, per day.

My novels, almost none of them sold more then 1,000 copies. Yet, online, my website gets 70,000 page views a month. I've got way more readers now, by putting my novels up free to read on a website, then I ever could have dreamed possible. If reaching the masses with knowledge they need to know is your primary goal, then I really think you should definitely look into building a content site with SBI.

  • But supposedly, asking a publisher or agent to spell it out for you is seen as desperate. Why? The magazine editors I worked for had no problem telling me exatly what they'd like to see in my articles.

Have you ever written anything of your own free will?

You're not a baby. You need to be spoon fed. You need to be told what to write. You have a brain. Use it!

Write what you want to write.

Stop contacting agents and asking: "I want to write a novel, tell me what to write!"

They have thousands of authors with enough common sense to sit down and write a book with being coddled all the way through it, that they don't need to waste time with a whimpering cry baby who can't change his own diapers.

I'm sorry, if that's hash, but you really need a wake up call.

Stop bumming off agents for ideas on what to write and damned story YOU want to write.

  • That may be the real reason - I did "Top 10 Prehistoric Fiction Books of the Year" videos on Youtube for the past two years and was unable to find a traditionally published one both times. Nevermind that Denisovan, Neanderthal, Hobbit of Indonesia, Caveman Stories, Neolithic story, and many other terms are high traffic on Google right now and there's almost no one satisfying the need.

Uhm.... I'd like to see your definition of "high traffic".

Okay... I just ran these keywords through BranstomIt

Hobbit of Flores was searched for (on Google, Bing, and Yahoo combined) fewer then 10 times in the last 28 days

  1. Denisovan was searched for (on Google, Bing, and Yahoo combined) fewer then 10 times in the last 28 days
  2. Neanderthal was searched for 9,657 times (on Google, Bing, and Yahoo combined) in the last 28 days, there are 6,045 content sites about it
  3. Hobbit of Indonesia was searched for (on Google, Bing, and Yahoo combined) fewer then 10 times in the last 28 days
  4. Caveman Stories was searched for (on Google, Bing, and Yahoo combined) fewer then 10 times in the last 28 days
  5. Neolithic story was searched for (on Google, Bing, and Yahoo combined) fewer then 10 times in the last 28 days

The definition of "high traffic" is having been searched for 20,000 or more times in the past 28 days.

I'm sorry, but, I don't think you know SEO and keyword research as well as you think you do.

  • That may be the real reason - I did "Top 10 Prehistoric Fiction Books of the Year" videos on Youtube for the past two years and was unable to find a traditionally published one both times.

So what.

Who cares how a book got published.

It's published. It's out there to be read.

Again with the arrogance. Now you are spewing bitter vemon of hatred for self publishing.

Well, whoop-dee-do.

Let's add one more thing to the list of ingrates who a lower on the ladder of life then you.

What the hell is your problem, anyways?

You have so many issues in need of being dewlt with, I don't even know where to begin. Your ego is so big that it has it's own little pet egos.

I mean, you're on here asking for help and, then, you lash out at the commenters with stuff like this. Are you sure you really want help?

Are you sure you are not just a troll, looking to rain down hate on agents, publishers, and self published authors, all because you are great of the great and they don't acknowledge your great greatness so now you got to lay it all out on them to punish them for being too stupid to see how great you are?

My god!

Who the hell do you think you are?

  • Also, I'm not getting how they can assume a POV is rushed just because each one is only 15,000 - 20,000words The Bridge of San Louis Ray is 60k I think and has four POVs. Short stories often have less than 5000 and the character's arc is fully realized. If 5 short stories end at the Bridge of San Luis Rey, to me that's a novel....and publishers used to agree, at least, because it's a modern classic.

Modern classic.

You know I own almost 2 million books and I've never heard of it. Fascinating, your definition of classic.

A short story is anything under 50,000 words

a novella is 50k to 120k

a novel is anything over 120k

an epic novel is any over 300k

Industry standard since the late 1700s. Almost 300 years.

You are trying to publish books and you can't even'[t even tell the differance between a short story and a novel?

It sounds to me like you think their is something bad or evil about writing short stories, and you feel you are only a writer if you write novels, but you can't be bothered to write a story that long so you are having a hissy fit because you can't convince a publisher to call your short story a novel.

Publishers are not going to change the dictonary defanition of words just to pamper your over inflated ego.

  • I don't need huge info dumps like most fantasy novels do, because it's set in our own neolithic period.

And you assume that the average person knows what the neolithic period even is? Good one.

And then you wonder why you can not get a contract?

Oh let me think... it might have something to do with the fact that you are so arrogant that you don't feel the need to tell your reader anything about the setting because you think the reader should have a PhD in the neolithic period, just like you do.

You know, you on one hand complain because no one is writing books set in the neolithic period and then you turn around and say you are too good to tell your readers what the neolithic period because they should be like you and already know.

You are doing a damned good job at excluding, neglecting, and aliantating your readers, that's for sure.

  • I don't need huge info dumps like most fantasy novels do, because it's set in our own neolithic period.

And again, with the whole, you are the greatest because YOUR novel is special and differant and not like the rest.

Info dumps are a bad thing in any genre.

Info dumps tend to be written by... shock... people like you, who don't know how to weave information into the character dialouge.

If you feel the only way to tell your reader about the setting is to write info dumps, then you are in serious need of taking some creative writing classes. If it's not too far below you, you might want to look into some community college writing courses, you know, if you can degrade yourself to sitting in class along side us measly little Fantasy writers.

Are you listening to yourself?

One cop out excuse after another to blame everybody else for something you and only you are responsible for!

  • I'm just not willing to become a recluse again for six months in the hopes that they might not reject this one without even giving me an explanation.

If you know your characters, it should take you a week or less to write the first draft of a novel. A month at most for an epic novel. 6 months? Really?

You won't pay the bills with that kind of writing speed.

  • Every person who's won Writers of the Future and had a book to present has received a book deal, and that route is much less stressful for me and I know I can win it.

So what?

Who cares?

What are you trying to prove?

And to who?

No one cares who won what.

The only people who even know those awards exist are the people who enter them.

People in the real world never heard of them and don't give a shit about them.

Those awards means nothing. Absolutely nothing.

You are putting way too much emphasis on winning so hack prize that no body cares about anyways.

  • I've now found seven different videos on youtube where someone has gotten a deal for their channel with around 5000 to 7000 subscribers. I don't know if these people have other things going for them, but their books are non-fiction spin-offs of their youtube channels.

And there are millions without YouTube channels who get book deals.

And there are 50million YouTube channels... think about it. Out of 50million only 7 got book deals? Do you really think their YouTube channel had anything to do with it?

  • 5000 followers on youtube is harder to get than 50,000 on facebook or twitter. I sure would like to know what's going on with that.

People follow you if they like your personality.

If you don't treat people like shit, they follow you.

What's there to know?

  • I'm a good marketer, I'm beating major artists in rankings for their own songs because I know SEO, and my albums get reviews in international magazines so i know I can sell my book. I feel slowed down by the industry- if I were an agent and David Farland said a work with an original concept deserved publication, I would publish it, because he was right about Harry Potter and Twilight when everyone else was wrong.

You know that fewer then 10% of published authors have an agent right?

Do you also know that MOST only got an agent AFTER they had major book deals?

And, you are aware that an agent is only going to get you a contract IF you have a book worth publishing and a personality worth promoting?

Think about it.

You have yet to write a book, and your personality is borderline shit. You're gonna have a hard time finding an agent unless you first write book and take some social skills classes.

  • I was also told by a published twitter mentor that it's a highly original concept and I needed to find a visionary agent, but I'm not sure one exists or if I should even follow that advice.

Yep. I'm gonna agree with this.

You are definitely dealing with something that is rather unique and not main stream, and publishers tend to want new versions of the same old same old, because they know it'll sell. They aren't as willing to put a lot of risk into something new and untested. Which leads me even more to believe that perhaps you should look into self publishing on Amazon Kindle, then building a website, and focus on writing non-fiction articles for your site, while promoting your self pubbed fiction based off the research.

Hugh Howey did that. Now look at him. #3 highest paid Kindle author of all time. First self pubbed author to sell 3 million copies of a self pubbed book in a single year. They making a movie out of his book now. He started out with a book no publisher would touch because it was too unique. So he set up a website, self pubbed the book... and now those publishers who rejected him are kicking themselves.

  • I just wish I could find the statistics of youtubers with major book deals and the average number of subscribers they have. Then I could have a goal in mind and know when I should have my next novel ready to query.

Again... all the people you listed, it's not about their subscriber base, it's about the YouTube Network they signed up with. Every one of them joined Maker Studios, which is Disney. The only way you are getting a book contract like them, is if you submit a YouTube Network application to Marker Studios.

  • I agree with you that it looks like it's a non-fiction thing. I haven't found any fiction, but I hoped it might be because they can't write fiction and their channel isn't about fiction.

Yes, there is a fiction one. I forget her name, but she's a BookTuber, and in 2016 she got a $10,000 contract from Penguin. I think it was a YA novel. Can't remember. But she got it, because she did a series talking about her book as she was writing it and some employee of Penguin saw her videos and wanted the book before anyone else got hold of it. So she got a contract before she even finished writing the draft.

You hoped it was because they can't write fiction?

What kind of sick twisted person are you that you go around hoping for bad things?

You need a psychiatrist really badly, before you become a stalker and start killing off these agents you are bitching about. OMG! You are so.... I don't know!

How does someone get like you?

Have you no ability to feel emotions or compassion on any level at all?

  • Anyone can write nonfiction about the subject they've been vlogging for 6 years with the help of an editor.

There it is again. That arrogant, you are the greatest king shit on the planet and every other author is a hack who let's editors do the work for them.

Clearly you've never worked with an editor.

I highly suggest you cough up te $200 a hr to have an editor edit your books, a see how little work an editor actually does.

You can better work from most spellcheckers then you can from the average editor. Sad but true. All an editor does is spell check your work, they ain't writing it for you and whoever told you they did, is lying to you.

Anyone can write shit, only YOU vomit gold bricks on the page, right?

Good god. Do you even listen to yourself?

And you wonder why no one wants to publish you?

Maybe it has something to do with the shitty way you treat EVERY BODY around you!

  • But the New York Times says they got their deals only because of the channel and interviewed them about it. Plus these guys are outright saying they got it because of their channel. When you have a million views, corporations will pay you 10,000 just for one product placement. According to the New York Times houses accept them because a top youtuber is guaranteed to make the New York Times bestseller list due to release day sales, although their books have little staying power.


That's what it's all about.

Publishers are in it to make money.

If they can not guarantee money from your book, they don't want it no matter how good it is.

Publishers are not in it to teach any one anything.

Publishers only work with authors who are sweet and pleasant and smile for the camera and are NOT on forums berating every agents who ever rejected them.

You, buddy are bad for business, and the more posts you make like the ones here, the harder you are going to have it in finding a contract.

No publisher is going to work with a liability like you who runs around screaming raving insanities all over the internet.

PLEASE step back and look in the mirror!

Look at how you are talking, how you are acting, how you are treating people!

No one likes being treated like this!

You are being seen by others as a very mean spirited person!

Really try to calm down and look at what you are saying to and about the agents you supposedly want to work for.

Try to see yourself as other people see you.

Do you see other people running around like raving lunatics, screaming and ranting, and bashing agents all over the internet the way you are doing right now?

Think about it.

No professional authors acts like you do, because no agent worth his salt is gonna give a second glance at any author who did!

Grow up and act like an adult.


  • I am a recluse when I write a book because I'm obsessive compulsive and ADD, and receiving 2 form rejections a week for 6 months was a horrible experience.

You know I know people, family member who I live with who have these things... I'd highly recommend you get diagnosed and ask for a 2nd opinion, because what you are displaying on this forum is Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Sociopathy. (Yes, I have a degree in abnormal psychology, I am trained to know the symptoms of these things. You are displaying so VERY BAD symptoms here.)

  • Well, I'm going to write prehistoric fiction stories which are indistinguishable from high fantasy with mind-blowing twists at the end and appendixes which cite their plaeoanthropological reality.

Then do it.

But do you even know what High Fantasy means? It's a world with magic and fantastical creatures, set in a world that is NOT Earth.

What you are describing of your story, sounds to me like Low Fantasy - a world set in a real Earth era, with limited magic and historical realism.

  • I'm going to write soundtracks for every one of them with the prehistoric instruments I built, I'm going to record audiobooks for all of them, and I'm going to put the ones that don't sell or are too short on my youtube channel and on Soundcloud for free.

I love it!

I love your passion and your drive.

Remove the arrogance and the holier then thou crap, and you'll do fine.

I really think you have the drive and passion t follow your dreams and make them happen, but you are being tripped up by this whole attitude you got thinking you are best of the best and no one is good enough for you.

Like I said before, self publishing is not a bad thing... it only seems bad to YOU because you are putting way TOO MUCH emphasis on the prestige of a big house publishing contract.

You are dealing with a small niche, and there's nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all.

But there is everything wrong with running around like a bully rabid bull dog putting every one down because they can't recognize your greatness.

Newsflash - you are no better then anyone else. We are all just human beings struggling to survive in this world. We need each other to help each other. The sooner you climb off your ivory tower and accept the fact that you are a lowly human being, the sooner you'll find yourself getting contracts for your books.

You have a powerful personality, and I don't think you realize that.

It's a good thing when used correctly. That powerful personality will take you places... but if you just let it run lose untamed, it'll hurt people, yourself included. And what's happening right now.

You have a lot going for you and you can make this happen, if you just reel in that ego and spend you energy in more productive places.

Make friends with the agents on social media... not enemies.

Peace and love, not war and hate, will get you so much further.

You have potential. Use it. Don't waste it on forum rants. Don't waste it stalking and hounding agents on Twitter. Pour all that energy into writing your book. Fill the pages with passion.

You have the passion.

You have the drive.

Now use it!

You can do this!

Anyone with the levels of passion you have, can move mountains. Nothing can hold you back, but you yourself. You are holding you back.

Let go of the fears and insecurities, and run with the wind.

Stop worrying what other people think.

It doesn't matter what anyone thinks.

No amount of awards or contracts is ever going to soothe your soul.

The only think that will sate your appetite is holding the book in your hand, while giving lectures at colleges. And you don't need a big house publisher or an agent for that.

  • I'm going to hit 100,000 subscribers on youtube by 2020. I'm going to get some of my soundtracks reviewed by Relix, the second biggest music periodical in the world, because they already review my music releases. And I'm going to continue collecting 200 to 300 names per month for my mailing list via my live shows and my job as a ghost tour guide.

Go for it.

  • Ive got two series going set in two different time periods, and each POV is a stand-alone story that's also part of a stand-alone novel that is also part of a series.

Series are the way to go. They keep readers coming back for more.

  • It'd just be nice to know at what point my social media carries weight.

At EVERY point. Right from day one.

Because every time you submit your book, agents, editors, and publishers are Googling your name, reading your posts, and seeing first hand the type of person you are, how you carry yourself online. And that has far more weight then the book itself. Your draft can be changed, but it's hard to change personality.

Ask yourself this, every time you post on Reddit, Twitter, FaceBook, YouTube, or any other social network: would you be proud or ashamed to let your publisher read this post?

  • Or maybe I should hit them with a non-fiction book first. I've got two in the works - the Reality of Myth discussing the origins of myth in real prehistoric creatures and cultures and also the official Hearse Ghost Tours coffee table book, with pictures of hearses and folklore of Savannah.

I rather think this would be a better way to start.

It definitely sounds to me like you have more invested interest in the non-fiction side of writing, then the fiction side of it.

  • Hearse Ghost Tours has won top 10 tourist attractions in America by USA and the Today Show several years in a row appears on several reality shows a year...but I have no idea whether agents think it would have a market outside of Savannah or whether publishing a non-fic helps toward publishing fiction, which is my main goal.

Again... all you seem to care about is awards, prizes, and your name in lights.

You won't get very far with that as your goal. No one ever does.

Start caring about how you can help others, instead of who you can walk on to reach the top, and you'll get much farther in life.

SOURCE: I'm the author of 130+ Epic Length Dark Fantasy novels published since 1978; also an AuthorTube YouTuber; my answers come to you from personal experience