You have encountered an extremely old website that continues to exist in old web ways, the same way it has done for now three decades.
In spite of being now 30 years old this year, started in 1996, it is still heavily active and old pages updated daily, new pages added daily, still now in 2026. All hand written, all hand coded (no AI), all by me, same as it ever was.
We Still Exist: The Old Web Did Not Go Away, You Just Forgot How To Find Us
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This site was NOT designed for mobile devices (as they had not been invented yet when I created it) thus this site looks best on a computer, at 1280x768 or above. |
This is a very old website created in 1996, so, yes, javascript is needed for the site to work as it should. If things don't function, you may need to update javascript drivers on your device |
This site tries to be mobile friendly but it's been online since 1996, so old pages may not load right on mobile devices, and as this site has had pages added near daily for 30 years there are now over 20k pages here. |
Having started out in life as a GeoCities site, this site contains glitter, bright colours, blinkies, moving gifs, and other things the old web was known for. |
f you are here looking for aliens, ufos, demons, cryptids, haunted cars, curses, Etiole, the wild man of old orchard beach, the goldeneagle car, the white monkey, or any of that other weird bullshit, you want this video:
...and after that video, you want these ones:
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If you want some stories to get you started in The Pink Necromancer series, reading these first will give you a good introduction to the 3 main characters:
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My Elves Are JellyFish...and I asked Google AI and ChatGPT 5.6 what they thought of this.
As requested, my daily writing prompt series is now available print paperback editions on Amazon.
There are 20 volumes of this writing prompt series currently planned and in varying stages of finishing, hopefully all 20 will be published by the end of 2026. I likely will do a 2nd series of writing prompt books in 2027.
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The first of the Visual Novels/Video Games for The Adventures of Quaraun the Inane/The Pink Necromancer series is published and available on Itch.io, there are 3 more planned for release in 2026, 6 more planned for release in 2027, and the big 60-hour 80k word 150 page one (Quaraun Goes To the Fair) is planned for a 2028 release.
There is a Pink Necromancer card game and a Pink Necromancer board game, as well as a Pink Necromancer table top RPG supliment for Dungeons and Dragons, all in the works, and to be released over the next couple of years as well.
I shouldn't have to say this, but people keep contacting me, so apparently I do:
If you have any information about my son’s murderer, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
Do you know who this woman is?
On August 8, 2013 she drove a backhoe over my house. On November 14, 2013 she arrived at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me with a golf club and murdered my son. One June 24, 2016, days after my first attempts to walk again, she attacked me with a shopping cart at Scarborough, Walmart, reinjuring the Nov 14, 2013 injury.
She crippled me when I was 8 months pregnant, a woman with a golf club, severed my spine and bashed my baby's head in, I spent 9 years relearning to walk, and the FBI is 13 years into the murder investigation and not yet id-ed the attacker who crippled me and killed my baby, both violently with a golf club.
Complete details of EVERYTHING she did is on this page here.
The golf club woman who called herself Clair as she looked November 14, 2013. Her hair is a weird chin leangth pageboy (very Medival style cut) platinum blonde with wide brown/black dyed stripes in it (like a reverse of Lily Munster, but the stripes are several, almost like a zebra). I am 5'6" and she was a LOT taller then me, like closer to the height of a man; she had thin lips like a man, and large nose like a man... she COULD have been a man disguised as a woman, given the ease with which she severed my spine....she's is a LOT stronger then is typical for a woman). She was wearing a chambre blue denim "blazer jacket over shirt" and a button up mens shirt (possibly flannel) and blue jeans. The bulk of her yelling was focused on accusing me of being transgender, even while ripping my baby out of my 8 month pregnant belly and bashing his head in with a golf club. |
The Claire woman as she looked during her shoping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart June 2016, the attack with left me paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Her hair was dyed dark red, and she drove away in a gold Volvo 240 Station Wagon of a late 1980s/early1990s model, with a "458" on the lisnce plate.... If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
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If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
Good god! We just found out about yet another slanderous rumour this woman has been spreading? When does it end? How many more of these things are out there?
Video explains what else she's done ...
If you have any information about the woman who crippled me with a golf club, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
If you encounter anyone claiming my car is haunted, demon possessed, or somehow connected to Stephen King please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
If you encounter anyone claiming I believe in aliens or was an alien abducttee, please give the information of who, when, where/location to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. If you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064-1520 on August 8, 2013 please give the information of who it is to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office. |
[quote author=bmcox link=topic=180214.msg2538422#msg2538422 date=1393886763]
The first story, “The Memory of a Salt Shaker,” is free and has moved around 5500 copies without much marketing. I released two other shorts ("La Chanson de l’Observation" and "The Space Within These Lines Is Not Dedicated") but didn’t do any marketing, hence they haven’t sold many copies. I knew that would happen, but I did expect that the two stories would get some spillover from the free book. Some, but they’ve only sold about 15 to 20 copies each.[/quote]
Considering the genre, that's pretty high, (5,500) even for a free story. Short stories (singles, collections, and anthologies) are a hard sell regardless of genre, and the more niched the genre, the harder it is to sell. I know. Yeah, we short story writers like to make it hard on ourselves by writing stuff there is no demand for.
In 36 years I have put out just over 200 stories and the most any of them has sold was 7,000 copies. Most of the titles sold in the range of fewer than 2,000 copies, and quite a few sold fewer than 100 copies. I think the lowest number was a title which has to date only sold 27 copies.
I've talked to lots and lots of short story authors over the years and near as I can tell, I'm actually doing far better than quite a few of them. I've seen many short story writers complain that their sales always flatlined after 500.
Every title they put out, they couldn't get more than 500 sales. Even top selling short story writers (Dean Wesley Smith comes to mind) have said they are hard pressed to make a story sell past 2,000 copies and that this is why short story writers have to keep putting out new titles every week or so.
[quote author=bmcox link=topic=180214.msg2538422#msg2538422 date=1393886763]
In this plan, the difference between choosing traditional and self-publishing is book reviewers/bloggers. I wouldn't really be able to get the book into websites like The Millions or Rumpus, or really any smaller book reviewers where this collection may fit because they do not take self-published books.
[/quote]
I think newbie authors put way to much weight on reviews. Reviews are meaningless drivel. They are nothing but one person ranting hate or gushing love. In both cases they do it to gain some sort of self perceived recognition and do not have the book or the author's well being in mind. I can't understand why so many newbie authors obsess over reviews.
I've been self publishing since 1978. We didn't have reviews back then, because we didn't have Amazon back then. I grew up in a publishing era where reviews did not exist. I didn't understand why young authors today are so hung up on reviews.
[quote author=bmcox link=topic=180214.msg2538422#msg2538422 date=1393886763]
The second are available awards for the book are limited or not as respected as those in the traditional markets. The awards are helpful for marketing my day job as a college instructor of creative writing. As such, a self-published book won’t carry weight in my CV when applying to tenure-track positions.
[/quote]
I'm not familiar with awards. I've never looked into it. I'm not someone who feels a need to prove myself or compete or be better than anyone, so seeking out awards is something I see as a pointless waste of time.
If you need awards to feel good about yourself, then go look for them, though, I'd think their were other better ways to boost your self esteme. I don't think getting an Award will help you fell good about yourself long term, and then if you don't win the award yu'll only fell worse about yourself, defeating you reason for seeking the award.
I can't see the point of gaining respect or approval from others by seeking awards. Just be a respectable person.
[quote author=bmcox link=topic=180214.msg2538422#msg2538422 date=1393886763]
If I self-publish I am not expecting to make much money, but my target would be to move 4000-8000 copies, about two times more than a small/university press run. I think if I hit that sales target, then that may offset some of the negative stigma associated with self-publishing I may face in academia, because they would want to know how I did it. But it could also be a non-starter despite of large sales. Also, the realistic expectation, even with promotion, is much lower, maybe 500 copies.
Has anyone faced a similar problem? Any thoughts?
[/quote]
According to Amazon's publicly released tax records, out of some 8 million Kindle authors, fewer then 100,000 of them are earning over $10,000 income a year. More then 7 million of them are earning under $5,000 a year.
If you look at the sales ranks of the books on Amazon, you can see what income you can expect.
While a few authors here and there sell a few hundred books a month. MOST Kindle authors struggle to sell a single, solitary copy a month. This is across all genres. The smaller the genre, the smaller the sales.
Literary short stories? It could take you 10 years or more to see 500 copies of you book sold.
The reason Universities get their numbers, is because they have a set group of followers they can expect to buy everything they put out.
You on your own however... you are starting from scratch as an unknown and you don't have that group of devoted fans the university press already has.
So you can expect fewer sales then them, not more. Less then half, not double.
This unfortunately is the harsh reality of this genre.
[quote author=bmcox link=topic=180214.msg2538422#msg2538422 date=1393886763]
Is there a literary/slipstream/magic realism fiction self-publishing network out there?
[/quote]
There are a few. I've never joined any. I know there are a couple of FaceBook grounds. Colleges usually have some sort of offline book clubs for authors.
I'd look into your local community college as they'd likely have one.
[quote author=bmcox link=topic=180214.msg2538422#msg2538422 date=1393886763]
What resources are available to self-published literary/slipstream/magic realism books?
[/quote]
What do you mean by resources? How are resources for writing different from one genre to another? Software, word processor, editing methods, writing advice, is always the same no matter what genre you write.
[quote author=bmcox link=topic=180214.msg2538422#msg2538422 date=1393886763]
Has anyone had success advertising in these genres on places like Bookbub?
[/quote]
I have never tried BookBub.
The reason being, is that my understanding of it, from what I've read other authors say on their blogs, was that it's very difficult to move many, if any copies of a book, outside of Romance and Thriller on BookBub.
I went an checked BookBub's own chart of typical copies downloaded and sold, for each genre and the numbers are pretty small in everything not Romance.
And even in Romance, only the FREE giveaways are getting many numbers. The .99c deals may only have a 1,000 or so downloads, $1.99 deals maybe get 500 and the $2.99 deals struggle to pass 100.
Those numbers really don't say too much. I mean, those are the BIG genres like Romance. Most of the small genres don't even get sales at all and only get a couple hundred free downloads.
Unless something changes with the type of person who joins BookBub, I can't see it having much advantage.
Of course, BookBub website is also pretty shoddy. It's just one of those free hosted sites. What is it, Wix or something? They really need to change their site host, use something that is not a generic template, and make their site look at least like they TRIED to put some effort into it.
Maybe in the future when they have more members it might be a good thing, but right now they are still new, and they're just so many books a couple thousand members can download.
Think about it. They've barely got 3,000 members and the bulk of these members are just ebook hoarders who are looking to mass download free ebooks they'll never read.
People who download free ebooks don't often read the books, rarely if ever leave reviews, never buy your other books, and if they do leave a reviews it's always a 1 star snark that says: "Glad this piece of shit was free. Didn't cost me any money to delete this trash on my device."
It's also a known fact that there are groups of "reviewers" (trolls maskerquarding as reviewers) who do nothing but look for free books just so they can leave fake 1 star reviews with the "verified purchase" tag on it. You risk getting hit by those via BookBub.
Search for author blogs, authors who tell of their BookBub experiance. Once in a while you'll find someone who shares it as a good experiance, but most tell nightmare stories of their books being swamped with HUNDREDS of nasty, snarky, hate filled 1 star reviews... the reviews being made only seconds after the book was downloaded, proving they did not read the book and only downloaded it for the purpose of getting the "verified tag".
It's also a known fact that the bulk of these people downloading with the intend to attack, are self published authors, who believe that by 1 staring their competition, they'll boost their own books in the ranks.
Amazon has made several announcments about this problem, and has banned well over 5,000 of these vindictive 1-star digging self published authors just in the last few months.
These author wars are getting out of control in the Amazon reviews, to the point, I don't even look at the reviews before buying a book any more. These days you have to sift through mountains of childish self published authors, snarking in 1 star reviews to find any real live book reader who actually left an actual real live review.
BookBub is a large part of why the recent increase in the shitty, unprofessionalls, being btchy in book reviews on Amazon. The bulk of BookBub's members are NOT readers but rather self pubbed authors.
So, until BookBub cleans up their site and starts attracting real live actual readers instead of authors looking to claw their way to the top by attacking other authors, I'd say stay away from BookBub.
[quote author=bmcox link=topic=180214.msg2538422#msg2538422 date=1393886763]
Is anyone successfully self-publishing fiction along these lines?
[/quote]
I am. Though that depends to on what you consider successful.
I've seen authors say they were successful after 10 sales of a book and others have 100,000 sales and bitch and complain they were not successful because it was less then a million books sold.
You need to define your terms of success, what you feel success it, and then set your goals at reaching it.
[quote author=bmcox link=topic=180214.msg2538422#msg2538422 date=1393886763]
What legit book awards are out there? Ones that are well respected and not tied up in award mills.
[/quote]
I've never looked into any awards or contests or that type of stuff, so I do not have an answer for you. I'm not someone motivated by rewards or prizes. The concept of competition seems to me like a pointless waste of time and energy. I remain baffled as to why there exist people who are driven only by their need to be better than others or reach the top or get rewards. It seems like such an alien thing to do. Whenever I see people like that I have to step back and ask myself if they are even Human. It's just so bizarre.
My understanding of book awards is they are usually put out by literary presses owned by colleges, so I would try looking at colleges known for literary programs and see what contests they have.
Small press magazines probably do them as well. But I never hear about big book publishers doing it.
If I was going to look for book contests, I would look only for ones run by colleges, reputable magazines, and publishers who've been around a while. I'd avoid any that asked for entry fees and I'd check Writer's Beware to make sure they were not listed as a known scam.
[quote author=bmcox link=topic=180214.msg2538422#msg2538422 date=1393886763]
Does it make sense for a self-publisher or indie author to hire an editor?
[/quote]
Yes. Get the best editor you can afford. If at first you can't afford an editor, at least have a few friends edit it. Once you can afford an editor, go back and edit it, then reupload the file.
My own books go through at least 7 edits, by at least 3 editors.
Editors come in all price ranges.
My favourite editors are local colleges.
I have a college professor that I work with. She likes to teach hands on editing, and hands out editing assignments to her class. She'll pass out chapters of books from various local authors, to her 30 students each semester. The students have 45 minutes to read, edit, and comment on the chapter. Comments vary from one line "This sucks" or "I liked it" to an entire 3 page essay on every detail they tripped up over. It provides wonderful feedback, and gives me an unbiased readers point of view on editing. Because they don't know who the author is, they don't have expectations.
So that's an example of free editing out there.
On the other end, you could spend a few thousand dollars on a professional editor.
Which is better? Oddly, I've found students doing it as a class assignment catch more errors then the professional editors. I think this because they are tring had to get an A in class, so they look harder, as opposed to the other one who's getting paid if they miss a few things or not.
I think it's best to have multiple eyes, of multiple experience levels on the draft. Every editor has things they miss, so the more editors the better.
[quote author=bmcox link=topic=180214.msg2538422#msg2538422 date=1393886763]
The problem, as I see it, is that even with a marketing plan, this collection of stories is a hard sell. It’s eclectic and super niche. Here’s the rough blurb I’m working on for the collection.
[i]Within these lines exist an ordinary salt shaker that allows a man to see his life through the eyes of his deceased wife; a woman who discovers a dragon living under her house; a man searching for his partner’s lost painting; a cicada who tells a young woman that she will die in three days unless she gives him her potential; an alien sociologist who falls in love with his human subject; and a woman caring for her partner who suffers from a strange form of dementia.
[u]The Space Within These Lines [/u]is a collection of six magical realist short stories exploring love, loss, and memory. [/i]
[/quote]
I write a little itty bitty genre, which is a sub-genre, inside of a sub-genre, so a teeny tiny niche inside of a super small niche. Basically alien cats, hiding from 6foot tall bird men, hiding on a little backwoods planet called Earth, and in needing to find something to do while exiled here, they move into a haunted house, which humans say is overrun with vampires; the cats discover there's no such thing as vampires, but there is a race of humanoid aliens trapped on Earth and living off the only food source able to sustain them (human flesh and blood), and they crashed on Earth in a stolen star ship, after a comet obliterated their planet, and they've been barely surviving on Earth for 900 years; the cats decide to record the history of these creatures, not realizing that 500 years of eating human brains has driven the 900 year old leader out of his mind. The whole series is 200+ stories told by a talking black cat as she retells to the other cats, the stories told to her by the utterly insane alien vampire.
It runs rampant were slasher-flick splatterpunk gore and bad b-movie sex = serial killer's gonna get you, amid 70s style characters having lengthy conversations with chocolate pudding while pink penguins dance by, and a great big flying pirate ship sails over head as it's rum-running 1920s gangster crew takes out people on the ground with their Tommy-guns. Yet, as off the wall and insane as the stories are, if one was to read several of the stories, you start to see a pattern - they are told to the cat, by a man who has not been able to tell up from down, fantasy from reality since his wife was murdered, and readers have no clue if anything the cats are saying this man told them, really happened or not. All you know is, this is what it's like to live inside this man's head. This is how he sees the world. The whole story is basically how this man adjusts to living without his wife. And the whole thing is set in 1600s New England/Quebec.
There is no genre that it neatly fits into, and critics have called it "Absurdist Space Horror". Every person who's ever read it and than talked to me in person has said of it: "What the hell were you smoking when you wrote that, it's the most insane thing I've ever read! I don't know if I should love it or hate it. I still don't even know what I read."
But, yeah, that's The Twighlight Manor series in a nutshell. Absolute insanity and utter nonsense - 3million words of it. I've had a lot of readers request I do novels for the series, but I'm just not a novel writer, I've tried, but it doesn't work. Short stories are my thing. Everyone tells me the same thing: novels are easier to market; sales of short stories suck.
Yeah, I know, novels market better, but I like what I do. I like writing short stories. I'm happy where I am.
Which brings me to...
[quote author=bmcox link=topic=180214.msg2538422#msg2538422 date=1393886763]
I’ve enjoyed self-publishing
[/quote]
This should be highlighted.
Why?
Because there is very little in life that one can do as a source of income and say they enjoy it. Think about it: how many people tell you they love their job?
Everyone is always complaining that
...someday never comes for them. Someday only comes, if you stop wishing for it and start living the dream.
[quote author=bmcox link=topic=180214.msg2538422#msg2538422 date=1393886763]
I’ve enjoyed self-publishing
[/quote]
Those three little words right there, I think are the most important thing you said in this post.
Self-publishing is something you enjoy.
It makes you happy.
That's a good thing.
[quote author=bmcox link=topic=180214.msg2538422#msg2538422 date=1393886763]
Finally, should I self-publish or try submitting to trad-publishers again? Has anyone gone this direction?
[/quote]
I started out trade publishing. My early stories were kid-friendly and appeared in Cricket, Jack&Jill, Friend, New Era, etc, etc, etc. But as my series grew, so did it's adult nature, and it became harder and harder to find publishers for it. By the 1980s it was very violent and bloody, and by the 1990s it start including graphic sex, rape, taboo fetishes. In 1997 the USA government passed that child safety act law that requires me to put the "COPPA/CDA/CIPA/Obscenity/18 U.S.C. § 2257 Compliance & Disclaimers" notice in all of my stories (due to the fact that all the male characters are over 70 years old, yet all the female characters are under 14 years old) along with an "M-Rated" (not for readers under 21) warning label on the covers.
The passing of the U.S.C. § 2257 Compliance Law in 1997 was the coffin nail that ended my trade publishing career for good. No trade publisher will touch the Twighlight Manor series today - it has nasty reputation among editors and publishers for being "the most vile work of immoral debauchery since Comte de Sade's Nights in Sodom" (direct quote of a reviewer).
I was faced with 2 options: rewrite 20 years worth of stories (set in the 1400s) to change the ages of the female characters to over 18 (which is historically inaccurate as the age of consent in the 1600s in America was 10 - it was not increased to 12 until the 1800s and it was not increase to 14 until the 1950s, and was not increased to 16 until 1970s...taking into consideration most of the stories were written in the 1970s when the legal age of consent was still 14, there was nothing illegal about the stories at the time of their original publication - heck I've been with my partner since I was 12, he's 30 years older than me - it was not illegal back than, and being old enough to remember 14 years old being the age of consent here in America, I have hard time not laughing at the U.S.C. § 2257 Compliance law)...or self publish all future volumes.
Unfortunately the passing of the 1997 U.S.C. § 2257 Compliance law also meant that publishers pulled my books off the shelves and took them out of print...because the characters in my books were the same ages as myself and my husband and that's illegal now...when the law passed in 1997 I actually had to go to court and testify to keep my husband from doing 40 years in prison, because I was 12 and he was 42 when we got married, all those years before the law was passed.
Americans do not consider culture (we are Gypsies and NO female ever marries after 18, they are too old to be marriageable by that point. ALL females are married BEFORE they are 14.) or religion (we are LDS/Mormons and church doctrine teaches it is a sin for a girl to reach 16 years of age un married.)
So I ended up getting back all the publishing rights to my work, and set about self publishing it instead. I'm doing much better now (both sales and income wise) than I was in trade. In trade, I could usually expect my story to be published in a magazine, see a shelf life of 3 months at most, and than disappear into obscurity. This resulted in me needing to write a new story every other month, in order to bring in pennies a day.
Today?
My story remains intact, original character ages, but thanks to the U.S.C. § 2257 Compliance law people are literally terrified to buy any book requiring the U.S.C. § 2257 Compliance Disclaimer on it, because the way the law is worded, it can be assumed that just owning a book with the U.S.C. § 2257 Compliance Disclaimer on it is enough to land you in prison. It makes it difficult for me to keep the older stories in print, basically about 100 of my titles can ONLY be published via vanity press through local copy shops, because places like Amazon and Lulu not distribute books with the U.S.C. § 2257 Compliance Disclaimer label on it. The U.S.C. § 2257 Compliance Disclaimer is basically a warning label that states "this book is a work of child pornography and you could go to prison for buying it", all because the main character of my series married a girl at the same ages my husband married me and the stories describe their sex life in vivid detail.
In the newer stories, I've simply left off mentioning ages at all, relying on readers to have read the older stories to know character ages. It's the only way I can publish new stories these days - even on Kindle.
This is also why the switch in focus of the series in recent years, to shift the older (in age) characters into main character positions, characters who used to only be mentioned in passing.
This page was written by Wendy Christine Allen of 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
All Rights Reserved.
Note: English is not my first language, Shetlean Scottish is my native language, there are likly spelling and grammar errors, as I do not know American English and am attempting to write it by sounding words out.
Many times that Americans think a word on my site is misspelled, often it is not misspelled, it is just I mixed up languages and wrote it in Scottish without realizing I mixed the Scottish in with the English. Also our grammar is somewhat reversed from English grammar so words that are seeming in the wrong order for American English, is usually because they are in the correct order for Scottish and I either put English words in Scottish order by mistake or was unaware English put them in a different order then Scottish does.
For those unaware, Scottish Shetlean looks like this:
American English to Scottish:
a bit (piece) = a party --- EXAMPLE: "And some know a bit of Latin " > "And somme kan of latyn a party "
a long distance from = A piece fae
a piece of = the bit --- EXAMPLE: "The duck ate a piece of bread " > "The deuk ett the bit breid "
about the banks (on the shore/at the beach) = aboot da banks
accomplishments = kunnandi
After = Back o --- EXAMPLE: " After Halloween" > "Back o Hallomas "
alive (living) = kvikr
Always on the move = Never aff o da go
am I not = amn't I --- EXAMPLE: "Am I not invited? " > "I amn't invited? or Amn't I invited?"
are = is --- EXAMPLE: "Are you going soon?" > "Is ya to be going soon?"
autumn = dah haihst
belong to = fylgja
best = bettah moost
betray (verb) = svíkja
bewildered = villhyggjandi
building = biggin up --- EXAMPLE: "building confidence in everyday use " > " biggin up confidence in ivvryday øs "
built = builded --- EXAMPLE: "He built a new porch." > "Hims builded a new porch."
cast a spell = hoodooed
cat = kat (sounds like "caught") --- EXAMPLE: "Is it an orange cat?" > "Be he a o'jinn kat?"
child = bairn
church = kirk
color = colour
danger = hœttr
daren't = darena
daring = djarfr
dark = dökk
dark elf = Dökkálfr
dark-elves = Døkkálfar
darker = dökká
do you agree = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "That's a fine looking woman, do you agree?" > "Dair's ah right bonnie lass, eh?"
do you want to come too = ,eh? --- EXAMPLE: "I'm going to the store, do you want to come with me?" > "Me go to shope, eh?"
each = eche --- EXAMPLE: "Which each person can understand " > "That kan eche man understonde "
educated = lered --- EXAMPLE: "Both among the educated and the uneducated " > "As wel among lered as lewed "
elf = Alfr
Elf = Álfr
Elf Home = Álfheimr
Elf World = Álfheimr
elf-advice = Ælfred
elf-beautiful = ælfscyne
elf-friend = Ælfwine
elf-guardian (female) = Ælfwaru
elf-guardian (male) = Ælfweard
elf-powerful = Ælfric
everyday = ivvryday
eyelids = eye ledes --- EXAMPLE: "He closed his eyelids." > "Hims did shut hims eye ledes"
fair = faire --- EXAMPLE: "Going to the fair." > "Done gone went to the faire."
feild = felde --- EXAMPLE: "Standing in the feild." > "Stoodt in thems felde."
further = ferther --- EXAMPLE: "I looked further." > "I dids lokid ferther."
green = grene --- EXAMPLE: "Look at the green hedges and woods." > "Look see at thems heigges and holtz so grene."
handsome = braw --- EXAMPLE: "He is very handsome " > "Him wicked braw "
have faith = trúa
Have no doubts about our doing it = Nae faer o wis
Have no liking for this. = Hae nae brou o this.
have not = ain't
He knows how many beans make five. = He kens the laid frae the croun o the causey.
He knows which side his bread is buttered on. = He kens whilk side his bannock's buttert on.
Head for = Mak wye for
head rope in fishing nets and lines = baak
head to head = Be at the knag and the widdie
horse fly = klegsie
I = Me
I Think = Me thinks --- EXAMPLE: "I think we're late. " > "Me thinks that we is late. "
I wish you well for the future = Lang may yer lum reek (translation: Long may your chimney smoke)
idiot = eejit --- EXAMPLE: "You idiot." > "Ya eejit."
idiot = numpty
if = iffy or yif--- EXAMPLE: "If you don't mind..." > "Iffy yas does no care mind...."; "If you'll stay with me long enough = "Yif ye so longe with me wil dwelle". "
I'll be even with you = A'll see day aboot wi ye
know = ken
looked = lokid
looked = lokid --- EXAMPLE: "I looked up." > "I lifte up me eye ledes and lokid ferther."
magic = hoodoo
naked = nøkkviðr
needle = bodkin
neither = nouther --- EXAMPLE: "Who know neither Latin nor French " > "That kan nouther latyn ne frensch "
No = Nay --- EXAMPLE: "No, I don't think so. " > "Nay, me thinks not. "
Nobody knew = not-knew nobody
Noontide = Da heicht o da day
NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "Did you meet the new family next door?" > "Dids ya gets a chance to stop by and meets with thems new folk that move-ed in down yawn there next doors to ya, eh?"
NOTE: Extra words are often added. --- EXAMPLE: "He went to Rite-Aid to pick up his prescription" > "Hims did go to that yawn there new fangled store the new folks call that Rite Aid place, to gets himself some of thems there pills what the doctor gone and tells him to take each morning, a-yep, hims did."
old = olde --- EXAMPLE: "But educated and uneducated, old and young " > "Bot lered and lewed olde and yonge "
orange = o'jinn
out = oot --- EXAMPLE: "The cat wants to go out." > "The kat he do wants oot."
outside = oot dair
people = fokk --- EXAMPLE: "the people of Shetland " > "Shetland fokk "
people = folke --- EXAMPLE: "Look at all those people." > "Lookie at all thems folke."
poorly = febelly --- EXAMPLE: "Who know French very poorly " > "That kan frensch ful febelly "
Recognising = Recognisin --- EXAMPLE: "Recognising the bilingual nature of Shaetlan speakers " > "Recognisin da wye at Shaetlan spaekers is bilingual "
shield = skjoldr
Since = For --- EXAMPLE: "Since that is your native language " > "For that is youre kynde langage "
tell = telle --- EXAMPLE: "I'll tell you in English " > "In englysch tonge I schal you telle "
the = da, de, or is not used at all --- EXAMPLE: "I went to the store" > "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to da shoppe" or "Me goes to shoppe"
them = dem, dem dair --- EXAMPLE: "I went with them" > "Me goes wit dem dair"
there = dair --- EXAMPLE: "I want those potatoes" > "Me be wanting dem dair tatetas."
they = dey
To where = whither --- EXAMPLE: ""Where you go, I will go." " > ""Whither thou goest, I'll go."
understand = understonde
understand = understonden --- EXAMPLE: "Some understand English " > "And somme understonden englysch "
very = wicked --- EXAMPLE: "very good" > "wicked good"; "very bad" > "wicked bad"; "very cold" > "wicked cold"
Where = Whither --- EXAMPLE: "Where is the restroom? " > "Whither is the privy?"
Yes = Yea or Aye --- EXAMPLE: "Yes, I think so. " > "Yea, me thinks so. " or "Aye, me thinks so. "
For anyone actually interested in learning my native language, the Scottish government has THIS listed as the official dictionary of our people: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/61d7352954b7fd1c9dbdfef4/t/65ddb2749d5e0541a01009c0/1709027964496/Spaektionary_2024feb.pdf
The Scottish government provides this document to show our language in use: https://www.shetland.uhi.ac.uk/t4-media/one-web/uhi-shetland-images-and-documents/documents-/shaetlan/Shaetlan-Language-Plan-2022-Shaetlan.pdf
More information about our language can be found on this website: https://www.iheardee.com which is written in my native language.
However, there is also other reasons why words might be misspelled, or why I might not understand someone when they speak to me.
My grandmother Helen Ricker Allen, was from Unst, Shetland, Scotland, and she the one who raised me. She taught me to read and write, but it was Shetlain that she taught me. She died when I was 8 years old, and I was locked in a woodshed after her furneral, I escaped the woodshed 27 years later at age 31, and have been trying to learn how to speak and write English since then.
It is a very great struggle.
At age 37 I took remidial reading and speaking classes at Southern Maine Community College, but we are Gypsies and Gypsy men do not allow us Gypsy women to have education, and so, while at college, on November 14, 2013, I was beaten with a golf club, while I was 8 months pregnet, breaking my spine, hips, and knees, killing my baby and leaving me quardepaleic since.
Now my primary focus these past 13 years has been on relearning to use my hand so I could type... as of 2023, I have regained the use of my right thumb, and first two right fingers, and after 10 years offline, I am back online due to I can use three finguers.
I never went to school, so I do not know maths and numbers and sciences, and I do not know what else would have been taught to me in school. We are Scottish Gypsies and Gypsy culture does not allow females to go to school. Being born female was already a great sin, but my grandmother took great risk in teaching me reading and writing. At 4 years old I was punished by my Uncle Bruce for knowing how to read, by being beaten in the face with a cinder block brick, that broke my right jaw and left me with garbaled near-mute spoken words ever since.
Because no one ever spoke words to be face to face from he time I was 8 years old until I was 37 years old (I escaped the room at age 27, but did not start college until 37), I have no training in how to vocally sound out or speak the words I write or read. I can read words, but I do not know how to sound out or say those words. I can write words, but I do not know how to match the written word against the spoken word. I struggle to associate spoken words at all, or make them match up with writen words.
Esentially, written words and spoken words are two completly seperate languages in my brain, and I have difficulty understanding spoken words.
If you say a sentance to me with your mouth, chances are very high I will have ZERO understanding of what you said and I will not be able to ander you.
However, if you WRITE down that exact same sentabnce, I can understand you and can type a written responce to you.
My doctors tell me this is a side effect of extreme isolation and neglect and lack of human contact during my toddler, childhood, teen, and young adult years, and that my brain never deveoloped to comprehend spoken vocal words due to no one ever speaking to me in over three decades of the first half of my life.
While I can read and write, American English (somewhat) I do no know how words are sounded out, what they are supposed to sound like. I readand write by shape recognition, not by sound/vocal recognition, so when reading and writing I do no "hear the words in my head" as I am told most people do when they read and write. In other words... I see "c a t" and think "c-a-t" I do not think "cat" nor do I "see" an image of a cat, no do I "hear" the word cat spoken. I'm told that this is very rare and that most people read and write by sounding out the words and linking them to visual mind images, while hearing the sound of the word in their head. I neiher hear words in my head no see images of things in my head. I'm told this is what makes me both a speed reader and speed writer, because I'm not tripped up by hear sounds or seeing images in my head like nomal people would be doing... however, I'm also told this is why my spelling and grammar are very poor, because my brain is not hear the sounds of the words or seeing visual images of the objects the words represent, so my mind also does not register spelling and grammer errors at all.
As I was only let out of the woodshed on Sundays to go to the Cape Elezabeth Ward Church of the August Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I was never allowed to go to school or hospital either. No adults ever talked to me because I was evil for comitted the sin of being born female, so I never learned how to speak properly and do not know how to sound out words to say them.
I was 42 years old, in 2016 when, while having an MRI for my spine, the doctors found out my speak issue was caused by a broken jaw as a toddler that was healed wrong because not being allowed to go to doctors. I had surgury to fix that, and since 2016 have been trying to learn how to use my jaw and touge so I can speak vocal words now.
Since 2023 my primary focus shifted to relearning to walk. I can now, in 2026, sit up for 2 or 3 hours a day, and can sand with a cane for a few minutes, and can walk for around five thousand feet in 2 to 3 segments a day, with the help of pushing my wheelchair like a walker.
As of 2026, with a slight return to using my fingers and legs, I am once again focused on trying to learn the American English, but I live in mortal fear of my uncles and male cousins, as they are so hateful of allowing me to have education.
have no one to help me to know if I am doing words correctly, and as such, I have no way of knowing if there are spelling and grammar errors, but I asume there are, and I fix them when I learn them, but I do not know what I do not know and spelling American words is a thing I do bnot know.
I have Low Fucntioning Kanner's Syndrom, also known as "RainMan Type of Autism" aka REAL and ACTUAL Autism, not to be confused with Aspergers, High Functioning Autism, or and of thr 861 illnesses on the Autism Spectrum. An Autism Spectrum Disorder is an illness that has symptoms similar to Autism but IS NOT Autism. If you have an Autism Spectrum Disorder, it LITERALLY MEANS you do NOT have Autism.
I am medically diagnosed as "kanner's syndrome, actual autism, the rainman type, profoundly retarded autistic savant, with a general IQ of 73, and an writing IQ of 221" but they added that they did not know how to properly diagnose me as I am "technically a feral child" and they don't know "how much is the autism, and how much is simple horrific levels of abuse and neglect induced post traumatic stress disorder that will go away with proper socilization".
It means I know how to write, I can write a lot, and it is next to impossible for you to teach me how to do literally anythig else because my brain only knows how to write and doesn;t know how to do anything else..
There's a reason, when I do book signings, people are quick to say: "Okay, what's the joke? why is this stupid retard here? where's the real author? I know this retard isn't the author. where are you hiding the author, why is this fucking retard here"
The end result is, I have near zero social interaction... my 3 years in college was the ONLY face to face interaction I have ever had with humans in my entire life, and I struggle deeply to understand MOST words used by MOST people when they ask me question. And so I suffer from a huge lack of understanding many words people say to me, how to translate those words into spelling, and how to translate what it is that has been said.
The fact remains hat until there exists a human on this planet who is willing to sit down and teach me what words spoken line up with and match what words written, this deficent is unlily to improve. But the fact also remains, that I am simply far too profoundly retarded for anyone to even try to make any attempt at all even to speak a friendly "hgelloe" or "good morning" when passing me on the street, so I have lost all hope of anyone ever either being my friend, being willing to teach me how to match spoken words to written words, or how to speak to other humans.
While there are around 20k pages on this website, most of them are blocked from search engines, with only around 800 of them available for appearing in Google/Bing/etc search results. The remainder can only be accessed via the various links found throughout this site. This was done deliberately on my part, and I did it because the bulk of the pages on this website are chapters from 138 novels and 423 novellas, so only the first page of each novel and novella indexed by search engines, and the remainder are linked in order, one page at a time, via clicking "next page" at the end of each. So if you are looking for a specific page from a specific novel, Google can't help you.
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Thank you for stopping by and have a nice day! ꧁✨🌸🔮🦄🔮🌸✨꧂ And if it’s your birthday today: ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐꧁ᴴᵃᵖᵖʸ☆ᵇⁱʳᵗʰᵈᵃʸ꧂🤍🎀🧸🌷🍭 |
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Get an email whenever Wendy Christine Allen 🌸💖🦄 aka EelKat 🧿💛🔮👻 publishes on Medium.
>I also write on these locations: | Amazon | Ao3 | Blogger | GumRoad | Medium | Notd | OnlyFans | Tumblr | Vocal |
Do you know who drove this backhoe over my house at 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine on August 8, 2013? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son on November 14, 2013 at Southern Maine Community College and crippled me July 26, 2016 at scarborough WalMart,... they arrived the first time with a backhoe on August 8, 2013, that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since....
... which means it is now only a few weeks from the 14th anniversary of my son's murder. I was 8 month pregnant November 14, 2013, and a student ay SMCC, and coming out of the Buglight Lighthouse art studio after art class, when a still unidentifiedwoman wielding a golf club attacked me, severed my spine, while I was 8 months pregnant, triggered early labour, then killed my son minutes after he was born.
While accusing me of being transgender, screaming "transvestite freak" and "look at that thing, that's Ken's son in a dress"... while I was 8 months pregnant.
My house at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, July 4, 2013, photo taken because we had just finished building a baby room on the back. vs My house August 8, 2013, when the same group of people (yes group, the golf club woman was not alone when she attacked November 14, 2013, nor was she alone with her second attack July 2016.) who murdered my son and crippled me, arrived the first time with a backhoe that they used to drive over my house, during a time of day that I normally was home asleep... I had to work a different shift at the Waffle Cone Pizza Food Truck at George's Parking Lot by Bill's Pizza at the OBB Peir, that day, otherwise, I too would be at the bottom of a landfill, along with my house and everything I owned that was also in the house. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and have been homeless for just under 14 years, homeless ever since. |
The backhoe driver returned November 14, 2013, armed with a golf club, used it to break my spine and smash my baby's brains out on the ground
On November 14, 2013, my son was murdered. I was 8 months pregnant, leaving my college classroom, and just getting into my car, when 3 strangers, a man and two women, armed with golf clubs leapt out from behind my car screaming "kill or be killed, kill the transvestite freaks, kill them all before they kill us! look at that thing! That is Ken's son, look at how it's dressed! kill the transvestite freaks! kill or be killed"... while the bald man and the red haired woman chanted this over and over, the blonde woman, lunged with the golf club.
She severed my spine, I am now a quadriplegic, and been paralyzed arms and legs, and in a wheelchair for 13 years now. She broke my hips, my knees, my legs, ruptured most of my discs, and shattered three of my vertebrae so bad that the shards of bone acted like glass and embedded themselves into my spinal column nerve bundle.
The attack also triggered labour.
My son was born in that parking lot, and he lived only a couple of minutes, before the deranged blonde woman, beat his head in and smashed his brains out, with the same golfclub she had just used to sever my spine and leave me crippled for the rest of my life.
Realizing that I was not transgender, and they'd just murdered a baby, the man grabbed the 2 women and forcibly dragged them away to a 4 door white pickup truck, and they left me there to die.
The FBI told me later, that a few weeks before this attack, and transwoman, had murdered a cis woman, in a parking lot, abou 20 miles away from where I was attacked. The FBI, believes that my attackers, had somehow found out I wrote transgender fiction, connecting my real name to my penname, (my father's name is in fact "Ken", and I do have a brother) and believed that I wrote transgender fiction, because I was myself transgender, even though I'm not transgender. The FBI, believes the attackers, thought I was my brother, pretending to be a woman.
The FBI investigation, into my son's murder, has dragged on for 13 years, and still now in 2026, continues on, with the FBI, still not having yet identified my attackers, and only guessing at what their motive was.
Thus we come to 2014, and the full swing change of the series I write. WHY my series, went from just a transman main character living life, to the full blown Mpreg genre series that it now is today.
Before the attack, I had a chance of having a baby. I don't know. And because I'm in America, I'm too old to adopt. You have to be under 45 years old to adopt a baby. That is the law in America. I was informed this, when we tried to adopt, now that my injuries leave me unable to get pregnant a 9th time.
Thus began my obsessively writing, my transman main character, pregnant. Always pregnant now. Every time. Every story. Stories that now fully focus on pregnancy, labour, miscarriages, babies dying, babies living, raising babies... the whole series, since 2014 has devolved into an outright baby obsession.
Meanwhile, reborn baby dolls were suggested to me by my therapist, and have also become a deeply obsessive part of my life. Because 13 years ago my son was murdered minutes after he was born, because a transphobic bigot mistook me for being transgender, I'm STILL in a wheelchair, struggling to relearn to use my arms and legs, now 13 years later, and I'm still DAILY dealing with police officers and FBI agents who while they are trying to find my son's killer, they are also daily reminding me... oh, yeah, my son was murdered, literally ripped out of my belly, by a transphobe. Who still has not been located and walks free to kill again.
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The golfclub woman as she looked during the golf club attack at Southern Maine community college November 14, 2013. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
The golfclub woman as she looked during the shopping cart attack at Scarborough WalMart July 26, 2016. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
The 2nd woman as she looked at both attacks, her hair goes all the way down to her knees. She is about 20 to 30 years older then me and would be around 75 to 85 years old now in 2026. If you have any information about the identity of this child murderer's accomplice, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 |
Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
I am a legally blind quadriplegic, and low verbal, I have also published 138 novels in the last 48 years. It's not as impossible as people think. The problem being blind and quadriplegic, medically have different meanings then how those two words are used medically.
Fewer than 3% of all blind people see nothing. While 97% people who are classified as fully blind are able to see up to two feet in front of them. Legally blind means I can see more then two feet in front of me but not far enough to see twenty feet in front of me. In my case I can see about eight feet.
Quadriplegic, has varying levels, it means having a damaged nerve bundle in the spinal column causing limited mobility of all 4 limbs, (in my case this was done by a women wielding a golf club, who also beat my 8 month infant's head to pulp on the parking lot tarmak, at the same time she severed my spine with the same golf club; both on November 14, 2013; the FBI investigation into my son's murder and my being crippled has gone on now for 13 years, a few weeks away from 14 years now, and the FBI has still not identified the killer or her motive). Contrary to popular misconception, quadriplegic does NOT mean ZERO movement, it means means limited movement, specifically in means unable to lift arms over head, unable to grip fingers around objects to pick them up, and unable to stand for more then 5 minutes to a time. Because there are so many thousands of nerves in each limb it is actually very rare for there to be 100% no movement, but how much, and to what extent varies by patent depending upon the specific point of injury to the spinal column.
Meaning typing is still possible for over 60% of all quadriplegics.
In my case, it was the lower spine that was severed, cutting off completly my ability to move my right leg, leaving limited feeling in my left leg, and an ability to stand but not walk, with crutches, for the first 9 years. I regained enough nerve growth in my legs by the 9th year to be able to take ten or twelve steps allowing me to get out of bed for the first time since the golf club attack; This in turn lead to me being able to start using a wheelchair, as I was able to sit upright for the first time as well.
Because the shattered vertebrae bone fragments are broken off completly and embedded into the nerve bundle just above my tailbone, doctors were saying I would never walk again, but now at 13 years, I am able to push mu wheelchair like a walker, a distance of almost a thousand steps a day. Though doctors are still doubtful I will ever walk "normally" again, I have proven them wrong, when their said 13 years ago, that I would never walk again at all.
But because of the placement of the damage to my spine, regaining hand use, was always thought possible, it was just a matter of waiting long enough for nerve regrowth, along side daily finger exercises. I was able to continue writing, after becoming quadriplegic, because I still have use of my right thumb, and 2 fore figures of my right hand. And can type 90 words per minute with those 3 fingers.
I however have no wrist strength, elbow strength, or shoulder strength, so I am not able to form a fist, or lift objects, or brush my hair, or my teeth, all thing I have to have my caretaker do. But, those things are not needed for typing. Unfortunately, my pinky and ring fingers are "nerve dead" and drag over the keyboard, and cause horrific spelling errors and typos, which are incredibly frustrating to deal with.
Unfortunately trying to edit errors myself, just makes the errors worse, because those same two fingers drag over the keyboard yet again. Prior to the golf club attack, I rarely had spelling errors; now I got more spelling errors then someone is learning English as second language. Editing is a challenge, that I've had to accept, I simply can not do myself, and I have to hire several editors to help with that.
Low verbal means sounds can still be made, sounds that software programs like Dragon can be trained to recognize and translate, and type into full words. More then half my novels were typed with this method.
I still have a long ways to go before I am anything close to being able to do the things I could do before the golf club woman beat my baby's brains out and shattered my spine. And you know what's more frustrating then how slow mu medical progression has been? The fact that it's been 13 years and the police and FBI are still coming up at dead ends as to who the woman who murdered my baby was, or why she even did it.
My son's 14th birthday is only a few weeks away, but he didn't even get to live long enough to celebrate his 1st birthday, I don't even know why. And I can't wait to regain my ability to walk again, because regaining my ability to walk, means gaining the ability to go outside and start looking for my son's murderer myself instead of sitting at home trapped in a wheelchair waiting for the police and FBI to to find her. So, writing isn't a big priority for me anymore. I only write now, as a way to exercise my hands, in between relearning to walk.
Never let a disability stop you. Plenty of writers, artists, athletes, do not let either blindness, speech impediments, or limited mobility hold then back from perusing their careers.
Do you know who these two woman who crippled me and murdered my baby, at Southern Maine Community College at 10PM on November 14, 2013, are, and what their connection to the backhoe that drove over my house is? If you have any information, please give it to FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322 of the Portland, Maine FBI office.
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There are no ebook editions as they are already available digitally here on my website.