My Avallac'h CosPlay:
Meet The Character
Avallac'h: The Psycho Obsessive Elf 
With Clips From Witcher 3

This page is part of a series of pages about my Avallac'h CosPlay. This page in particular, is not about the costume, but rather a history of the character himself, as he appears in the novels "Tower of The Swallows" and "Lady of the Lake" and the video game "The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt".

Avallac'h is a semi-villainous Elf wizard created by author Andrzej Sapkowski for his Witcher novels.

The other pages in this series can be found here:

  1. Obsession: Meet Avallac'h
  2. Historical Accuracy vs Avallac'h
  3. The Avallac'h CosPlay Costume Making Vlogs
  4. How To Make The Avallac'h CosPlay
  5. How Much Did It Cost? Budgeting The Avallac'h CosPlay
  6. PortConMaine 2018

Information on this page about Avallac'h came from the following sources:

The video clips and screenshots found on this page are from my 700+ hour completionist run of the GOtY edition of the game. All 700 hours of the playthrough can be found on my YouTube channel, where it is being uploaded on a daily one-hour episode release schedule:

And an inside look at being a disabled CosPlayer in a world of inconsiderate people who park non-handicapped cars in handicapped spots, use handicapped bathroom stalls as costume changing stations, and get rowdy in crowded hallways... I was one of 3 disabled CosPlayers at PortCon 2017 who got injured during the event, let's see to it these sorts of things don't happen next year:

  1. On Being a Handicapped CosPlayer: A Look At Events of PortConMaine 2017 That Resulted In 3 Disabled CosPlayers GettinG hurt at The Convention and How These Things Could Have Been Avoided

My new favorite fictional character:
Avallac'h The Extremely OCD Masked Elven Mage
who takes the word obsession to whole new levels of madness


This page is


If you are playing

"The Witcher 3 Wild Hunt"

and or

have not yet read the novels

"Tower of The Swallow"


"The Lady of the Lake"

and you are someone who likes to avoid spoilers, then you may wish to avoid reading this page or watching the videos here.

These video clips come from my 700+ hour completionist run playthrough of The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, that had quest choices resulting in I reached the Yennefer/Ciri as Empress ending.



I tried to keep this page PG13, but I mean, it is Avallac'h we're talking about here. There's no way around it. This guy is not safe for work on so many levels.

Also, quick note for those not familiar with the books or the game: the game is rated M18+ you must be 18 or older to buy or play said game. The game features a LOT of nudity, with boobs on display every few minutes, and full frontal nudity flashed in many cut scenes, and also, there are numerous sex scenes in the game, many primary characters are prostitutes/whores, most of the men in the series (including Avallac'h the character this page is about) are in the habit of visiting brothels.

Avallac'h and Geralt in the desert

Anyways, here's a page I made about the costume making process. It'll be updated daily as the costume is being made. Right now I'm assembling the materials so the page is only about the character as of yet.

So, that's what's going on here.

I'm making yet another of my over the top, insanely elaborate CosPlays and this page, is the first page in a series of pages on how I'm making that costume. This page being the page introducing you to the character himself, and the pages following this, will be devoted to the actual costume making process.

Can't wait to see everyone at PortCon again this year! Hugs for everybody who'll be there this year!

I've tried to keep this page PG13, but, it kind of gets into R rate regions at times, just, so you know. While I cut out most of the boobtastic clips for the videos, one video here does contain full frontal nudity, I've marked that video as NSFW, so you know to avoid it should you not want to see a naked women sitting there during the conversation for no reason at all, other then, Avallac'h can't be on screen without boobs there as well, for some reason.

Avallac'h and The Lodge Sisters .... This image is "Vanilla" game play... the game settings allow for "no nudity" where the girls are "wearing bras" (sort of... almost) and "wild nudity" which has full frontal nudity with not one shred of cloth covering any nipples or vaginas... and yes, I have played this game on "wild nudity" settings and have recorded footage of this same scene from it... I'll post a screenshot here as soon as I find it... I've got 700+ hours of recorded game footage to search through to find it.

No other character in the game suffers from this problem of women losing their shirts every time he walks in the room. I suppose his being a super, creepizoid wizard obsessed with breasts, and capable of hypnotising people, must have something to do with it... but yeah, anyways, if you are bothered by stray boobs falling out of shirts, you probably want to avoid this page.

See... this is what happens when Avallac'h walks by women:

Except for Ciri.

Ciri for some reason is the only woman with the power to keep her shirt on when Avallac'h's in the room. Possibly something to do with she's also the woman he's obsessed with and is attempting to breed.



Breed, meaning, he keeps her in his laboratory and watches while other men fuck her, because he's obsessed with the idea of raising what he terms "The Child of the Elder Blood".

Avallac'h and Ciri


That's Avallac'h for you.

I've not yet meet every character of the franchise, but I'm guessing Avallac'h ranks pretty high on being the most perverted character of the series.

The Elves of the Witcher series are psychotically deranged, sadistic alien invaders from another galaxy.

The Wizards of the Witcher series are insanity on a stick.

Take an Elf, make him a wizard, then brand him the most powerful mage in the galaxy, and you got yourself a psychotic time bomb waiting to go off and take the whole planet with him.

And speaking of psychotic time bombs waiting to go off... how the hell did I get 300 hours into this game, obsessing over Avallac'h the way I'm obsessing over him, and NOT know he was the primary villain of the game? How?

When he's not being a perverted sexual deviant, he's the sweetest, nicest, kindest, friendliest, gentlest, least likely to hurt anybody person you'll ever meet in the game, and as it turns out also the most likely to stab you in the back and rip your guts out, run to the top of a mountain and start tossing fireballs at you.

What is it with wizards and fireballs? I don't get it. Why do wizards run to the top of the tallest mountain they can find and start throwing fireballs at everyone? And why is Avallac'h doing it? What the hell? Of course, he did do it like 10 minutes after Ciri found his wife and trashed his lab.

Plus he lives in a brothel and his wife is a prostitute, Isilira.

Meet Avallac'h, my favourite character of the Witcher franchise.

My Newest Obsession:
Avallac'h | Clips From Witcher 3

My Newest Obsession: Avallac'h | Clips From Witcher 3

I've found a new psycho-creep, I mean character, to obsess, obsessively over. Ironically, obsession is a perfect word to describe this guy, who takes obsessions to the extremes when he becomes obsessed with a half-Elf who is the great-grand-daughter of his long dead lover Lara Dorren.

Let's watch Avallac'h has his obsession with Ciri, spiral's out of control and turns him from her kidnapper, to her adoring servent, willing to do anything she asks of him... even if it means destroying the planet..

What is it about a 2,000 year old Elf wizard that gets him hoards of scantily clad women groveling at his feet, obeying his every command without question?

Let's find out...

For those who do not know the story up to this point... here's a summary of previous events:

Lara Dorren was an she-Elf born with a rare gene mutation known as Elder Blood. Basically, it means you have the blood of a god and are somehow direct descended from the creator of the universe.

As was the tradition of the Aen Elle Elves (High Elves), anyone born with Elder Blood was to marry royalty to keep the royal family linked to God.

Crevan Espane aep Caomhan Macha

Aen Elle Elves believe they are superior to all life, because they were created by God, in God's image. They believe all other life evolved from the murky depths of the sea.

Lara Dorren was set to marry a Aen Elle prince: Crevan Espane aep Caomhan Macha, who fell madly in love with her, quickly becoming obsessed with her on levels that she found frightening.

Around this same time, the home planet of the Aen Elle, was hit by something known as The White Frost. A mystical ice plague that is spreading across the universe, burying entire solar systems in ice and snow, and annihilating all life.

It was discovered that someone with Elder Blood, could defeat the plague of winter and save the planet. Lara Dorren was able to do this but for whatever reason, refused to.

As the world of the Aen Elle died under the onslaught of The White Frost, the Elves discovered a portal that allowed them to escape the planet onto another planet.

King Auberon, with his commanders: Ge'els and Creven, took over the planet, and personally mass murdered thousands of it's native inhabitants, Humans, while sending out an army to slaughter the rest.

Some Humans escaped the slaughter, by fleeing through a portal to another planet, thus how Humans came to live on Earth.

Not all Elves wished to see Humanity eradicated, and they, now called the Aen Seidhe were banished and sent to live on Earth with the Humans.

Next, Crevan Espane aep Caomhan Macha, set out to slaughtering the other primary race of their new planet: the Unicorns. Because of his cunning ability to slip into any place, any group, become the friend of every one, then when their guard was down, turn around and mass murder every one who trusted him, the Unicorns bagan to call Crevan "Avallac'h" meaning "the sneaky fox".

The Masked Elf Mage

Avallac'h as it turned out, like Lara Dorren, was also born with mystical blood, though not The Elder Blood, but instead Aen Saevherne.

Aen Saevherne are Elves who, in addition to possessing magic skills, also possess a vast knowledge of many subjects, most notably the genealogy of Elder Blood. The sages also exhibit prophetic or oracular powers. Over the years people simplified the term, referring to them instead as "sages" or "Elven mages", but this is not entirely accurate. Francesca Findabair, who sat in the Chapter, was an Elf and a mage but not one of the Aen Saevherne. For many, they are more legend than fact. Few, even among the elves, can boast of close contact with the Aen Saevherne.

Lara Dorren, was extra special as she had both Elder Blood and was also a Aen Saevherne. Her upcoming marriage to Crevan, now known as Avallac'h was hailed as prophecy, and their children destined to be gods with the power to control the universe.

However, this marriage was arranged before The White Frost destroyed their planet and the Aen Elle fled to the home of Humans and took their planet. Horrified by Crevan's new found blood lust for mass murdering everyone who crossed his path, Lara Dorren, fled with the Aen Seidhe to live on Earth with Humans, where she met and married a Human Emperor, instead of her long time lover Crevan.

Avallac'h & Geralt

War rose between the Aen Elle and Aen Seidhe and Lara Dorren was killed in the process, presumably by the power crazed, jealous enraged Crevan himself, days after she gave birth to a half-Elf.

The Child of the Elder Blood was hidden from the crazed Elf, an centuries passed with him, becoming more sadistically obsessed with hunting down and finding Lara Dorren's descendants.

More then a thousand years have now passed since Lara Dorren's death, and her blood line thought to be extinct, until the Human Emperor Emhyr var Emreis, rumoured to be a half-Elf, father's Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, a child with the abilities of both an Elder Bood and a Aen Saevherne, both of which she began to display around 10 years old, terrifying all who encountered her.

When Ciri was 12 years old, a portal opened up in Emperor Emhyr var Emreis' palace in Vizima, and a mysterious masked Elven mage walked out, grabbed the child and disappeared back into the portal before any one had time to realize what was happening.

Crevan, now using the name Avallac'h, now infertile from too many centuries of using high powered magic, can no longer father a God child with an Elder Blood, and instead of keeping her for himself, gives the child to King Auberon, who like Avallac'h is also Aen Saevherne, but has not destroyed his chances of fathering children by dabbling in Dark Arts.


Enraged that the Avallac'h gave the Child of the Elder Blood to Auberon, rival King Eredin, poisoned Auberon and took over as the new king of the Aen Elle.

Meanwhile, the Humans found Ciri and rescued her.

Enraged, King Eredin built up an army known as The Wild Hunt, to slaughter all Humans until he found what they did with Ciri.

Avallac'h retreated back into his lair to search the cosmos for any disturbances to tell him where Ciri was.

Terrified that he could not protect his daughter, Emperor Emhyr var Emreis, went to the only person he knew he could trust: a Witcher named Geralt of Rivia, Butcher of Blaviken, The White Wolf, begging Geralt to take the child and raise her as his own daughter, protecting her with his life, from the crazed alien Elves that were hell bent on using her to create a weapon to destroy Humanity.

While she loved living with the Witcher, and came to know him as her father, his wife Yennefer as her mother, his other lover Triss as her sister, and his friend Vesemir as her uncle, Ciri, held dear in her memory, the mysterious masked Elf that had shown her the world of the Elves.

As a rebellious, unruly teenager, Ciri ran away from home, using her Elder Blood powers to reach out to the masked Elf, calling him and asking him to take her back to his world with him.

Having already kidnapped her once before, everyone assumed (incorrectly) that Avallac'h had kidnapped her again, not realizing that this time she went to him.

For 21 years, Ciri lived with Avallac'h becoming his apprentice and learning magic skills, far above and beyond anything any one had ever seen, until the pupil became more powerful then the teacher.

Ciri's whereabouts remained a mystery, until King Eredin, kills Geralt in battle, and the psychic connection she has with the Witcher, alerts her to his death. Accompanied by a unicorn, Ciri resurrects both Geralt and Yen, both whom were murdered.

Thus the novels end...


...the story now to be picked up in the video games, which pick up at Geralt's resurrection and continue onward...

Resurrecting Geralt, opens a portal allowing Eredin to find Ciri and Avallac'h. Eredin, now accompanied by Avallac'h's own son, Caranthir Ar-Feiniel, hunts down Avallac'h intending to take Ciri as his bride.

Caranthir Ar-Feiniel casts a spell on his father turning him into Uma, a disfigured creature, incapable of magic or speach.

As the Uma spell takes hold of him, Avallac'h's last spell, puts Ciri into a deep sleep, and locks her away on The Isle of Mists, under the care of seven Dwarves.

Uma is captured by slave traders and sold to a side show traveling circus. The circus loses Uma in a card game, where he comes to live with a renegade self-crowned King of Velen known as The Bloody Baron. (My other favourite character in the series).

A hunt now begins for both Ciri and the masked Elf rumored to have kidnapped her. This leads us to Yennefer's Logue sister Kera Merzt, who tells them Ciri visited her with a wounded Elven mage, Ciri bringing him to Keria in search of a cure for a curse that was fast sapping away his life. While Geralt completely ignores the idea, Keria convinces Yennefer that Ciri is in love with the Elf and protecting him.

Phillip Strenger aka The Bloody Baron

Through a long series of strange events (a result of 200+ hours of game play through Witcher 3) Geralt, learns of Eredin's spell, but assumes the spell was cast on Ciri.

Convinced that Uma is his lost daughter Ciri, Geralt confronts the Bloody Baron and gains ownership of Uma, then returns to Vizima, to Emperor Emhyr var Emreis with Uma in tow, to pick up Yennefer, who is now the emperor's court Sorceress.

Explaining that he believes Uma to be Ciri, Geralt gather's up all the surviving Witchers and Sorceresses he can find to perform a now banned, ritual spell known as The Trial of Grasses, to reverse the Uma spell. Historically only 3 out of every ten victims of the Trial of Grasses, survives. The spell had always been cast on Humans, and was believed to be even more deadly to non-Humans such as Elves. The spell itself involved strapping the victim to a torture device, while simultaneously poisoning them.

The use of The Trial of Grasses, which nearly killed Avallac'h and left him crippled for the rest of his life, was Vesemir's idea (pay attention to this part, as it's VERY important to what happens in the first video you'll see on this page).

Avallac'h in The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (video game)

It was Vesemir who had both tortured Avallac'h AND was refusing to let Ciri near him.

While the Trial of Grasses works and successfully removes the Uma spell, they had thought they were doing it to a Human, not realizing they were doing it to a very old, and already physically weak from advanced age, Elf.

The Trial of Grasses, leaves Avallac'h permanently crippled, suffering serious nerve damage, vomiting uncontrollably, shaking with seizures, dilated pupils that no longer respond to light, violently twitching fingers that limit the use of his hands, and being unable to stand for very long to a time, with him barely able to get out of bed after this event. 

Prior to this point Avallac'h was very active. After The Trial of Grasses, he spends most of his time sitting down, not moving, now rarely walking or getting up to do anything at all. An artist and painter before the Trail, he is not seen drawing after the Trail, and is instead seen staring mornfully at his drawings. Previously never asking others to help him with his spell casting, after the Trail he is frequently seen asking others to do various tasks of the spells. 

Near comatose, bedridden Avallac'h, during the time Yennefer was caring for him a Kaer Morhen,

At one point Yennefer tells Geralt, that Avallac'h almost died during the Trail of grasses and that he suffered severe nerve damage, resulting in his now limited ability to move around and his loss of the use of his hands for either drawing or performing certain tasks while spell casting.

Vesemir is the one who points out that Avallac'h's fingers are always violently twitching, and that the Elf is now suffering from tremors and seizures. Vesemir also points out that the Elf has suffered brain damage as could be seen from his frozen pupils that no longer responded to light.  

Avallac'h was described as being a warrior on some levels, when younger and presumably, slaughtered many thousands of Humans with his sword. In game however, we only see him in two battles, both times he refuses to use his sword.

In the first one, we see him start to fight, have trouble handling his staff, then back away and running. This is the first time he tried to fight since the Trial of Grasses, and it appeared he didn't realize how limited his hands had become until that point.

The second time we see him in a fight, he draws his sword, then quickly drops it to the ground. It at first looks as though he tosses it aside, but if you look at the expression on his face as he's drawing the sword, he appears to be ready to fight. His expression changes as he drops the sword, at which point he appears to become terrified, by the realization he has not the strength to hold hs sword. He immediately takes several steps back, looking around for a place to run to.

While still an insanely overpowered wizard magically, physically he is powerless to defend himself or Ciri after the Trial of Grasses.

Avallac'h Concept Art

This is also the point where we no longer see him hiding in the shadows, instead keeping close to the Witcher and Sorceress. While still arrogant and smug, he now is also nervous and flighty, and is fully aware of how badly the Trial of Grasses has damaged him. This is evident especially, by the fact that he stays with Yennefer after the Trial, and then when they leave, and leave him behind, assuming he'll go back to whatever life he had before being turned into Uma.

However, when after they leave, instead of going back to his old life, he seeks out Dandelion, and moves into Dandelion's brothel, locking himself in one of the rooms and refusing to come out. He stays at the brothel until they leave the city, at which point he leaves with them.

In every scene with Avallac'h after this, we see him taking a very authoritative stance, becoming very bossy and pushing around Geralt and his friends, but at the same time, Avallac'h is also very submissive now, and backs down when challenged. It appears that he is trying to still maintain control, while also trying to hide the fact that his health is failing and he desperately wants to be in a company of people who can protect him.

In any case, it is clear that The Trail of Grasses ritual, left Avallac'h very changed, physically disabled, and mentally traumatized, no matter how much he tries to hide these things from the people around him.

But back to the day, Vesemir strapped Uma to the torture table, vivisected him, and pumped his blood full of toxic poisons... and continued to do so for several days, while Uma screamed in agony begging for mercy...

Concept Art of Avallac'h as Uma: The Trial of Grasses / Tortured by Witchers
The dying Avallac'h near comatose, quivering between life and death, after the Trial of Grasses, while the Witchers decide what to do with the evil Elf, they've suddenly found at their mercy.

The Trail of Grasses worked, and forced the curse out of Avallac'h's body, transforming him back into his true form. The Witchers were expecting Uma to turn into Ciri and were ready to immediately care for her, knowing the Trail would have horrible side effects on her health. They were not prepared to see Uma turn into the evil Elf, whom they recognized as having kidnapped Ciri from them so many years ago...

With Uma now revealed to be Avallac'h, Geralt's immediate reaction is to want to kill the Elf, with the other Witchers, Vesemir included, agreeing to this.

Yennefer, realizing that this is the Elf, Keria had claimed Ciri was in love with, immediately takes pity on the mortally wounded, dying Elf, and defends him from the angry Witchers, using magic to protect him from being slaughtered by their swords.

Fearing that he is about to die at the hands of Ciri's very angry adopted father, (keeping in mind Geralt himself is a powerful sorcerer and alchemist, turned assassin for hire), and knowing he is too close to death to defend himself, Avallac'h tells Geralt, that he locked Ciri away in the Isle of Mists and gives him the key to get there (a magic firefly).

Avallac'h clearly expected to die, seeing himself at the mercy of Humans, monstrous, savage creatures he did not see as either intelligent or capable of showing mercy and is surprised when they do not kill him. The Elf passes out and Yennefer declares she is taking him up to her bedroom in the tower, to nurse him back to health.

The Dying Elf Passed Out After the Trial of Grasses; and Yennefer's words as she decides to help him.

Several months now pass, with Avallac'h bedridden, drifting comatose between life and death, while Yennefer takes care of him at the Witchers' home Kaer Morhen. 

Meanwhile, Geralt, heads to find The Isle of Mists, and brings Ciri back to Kaer Morhen, a process that takes another 30+ hours of gameplay.

Comatose, bedridden Avallac'h, during the time Yennefer was caring for him at Kaer Morhen.

An interesting and completely off topic aspect here, but, pointing out that last picture there... look at all his tattoos, they go all the way down his legs too, but we are keeping this page PG13, so, I edited those out for you. Yes, if official canon nudes exist of a fave character, I WILL find them and take screen shots from every angle. That's one thing I noticed about this game, you can find literally every character absolutely completely nude at least once.

And mods exist to remove their underwear.

Yep, that's a thing.

Did I mention I have 48 mods on the game, including that one?

The game settings let you turn nudity off, but I went and found a way to add more instead. Yep. That's what I did. After all, what's the point of playing a rated M18+ game if not to take nude screenshots of everyone, especially all the male Elves?

And Avallac'h doesn't like being naked so every time he wakes up, he casts a spell to make his clothes magically reappear, but apparently casting said clothes reappearing spell is too much for him and he immediately passes out again.

Avallac'h & Geralt

Geralt has to complete a dozen more quests in order to find the Isles of Mists because Avallac'h speaks in half-speech riddles instead of full sentences, so only gave Geralt clue that made no sense, for as how to find Ciri.

Upon finding Ciri, she immediately turns into a blubbering Avallac'h fangirl and starts telling Geralt all the places she and Avallac'h have traveled to over the years. (Remember: she has lived with Avallac'h for 21 years by this point.)

It is very clear that what Keria said was true and Ciri is very much in love with the Elf she's been living with. She makes no move to return to Kaer Morhen or go anywhere with Geralt, content to stay on the Isle of Mists where Avallac'h told her to stay. She fears The Wild Hunt (King Ededin and his army) will attack Kaer Morhen if she returns. Nothing Geralt says can make her go back to Kaer Morhen, while Ciri continues to gush fangirl obsessions over Avallac'h.

Ciri ends her bubbly giddy tale of the places Avallac'h has taken her, then looks frightened and says to Geralt that Eredin's mage, cast a curse on Avallac'h and when last she saw him, he was gravely ill and locked her on the Isle of Mists because he had become too weak to protect her any more. (Interestingly, Avallac'h has never told Ciri that he has a son and she is unaware that the mage who cast the Uma curse is also Avallac'hs son.)

She tells Geralt "Avallac'h was to return for me, but I've heard nothing. I fear he is dead."

Geralt tries to tell her that Avallac'h is evil but she will hear nothing of this, and so Geralt asks: "Do you trust him?"

Ciri responds with: "With my life."

At which point Geralt tells her, Avallac'h is at Kaer Morhen, in Yennefer's care, but is close to death and no one expects him to live.

Upon hearing that Avallac'h is at Kaer Morhen, Ciri immediately changes her refusal to leave the Isle of Mist and goes with Geralt to Kaer Morhen. Upon entering the palace, the first person she sees is Vesemir, and instead of running to greet her dearly beloved uncle, she runs to him and asks: "Avallac'h where is he?"

Vesemir tells Ciri that Avallac'h is bedridden, on his deathbed, in the tower of the castle. Ciri immediately runs off to find him. She does not get through the courtyard however, as King Eredin follows on their heels, arriving at Kaer Morhen with his army.

Bringing us to the first video on this page... (which occurs about 270 hours into the game): (The Battle Mage with the glowing staff, is Avallac'h's son, by the way. Did I mention Avallac'h is a member of The Wild Hunt?)

Avallac'h - The Galaxy's Most Powerful Wizard

Even on his deathbed, Avallac'h can take out Ciri, King Eredin, the entire Wild Hunt Army, and the Wild Hunt's mage... all at once, with a meer wave of the hand...

(and we are left to ask... why is it again, he needs our help to defeat King Eredin? Or wait, he doesn't --- he just needs us looking the other way so we don't notice he's about to blow up the planet and kill all those Humans he can't stand the sight of, except Ciri of course, and all those half-naked women that follow him around, and the prostitutes at Dandelion's brothel...all the other Humans can die know, such is the brain of a psychotically deranged Elf)

...but notice how he waits until after the Uncle that wouldn't let him near the girl he's obsessed with, the one who tortured him in the Trial of Grasses, is first murdered, before Avallac'h decides to lift a finger to help her...

Wait... what just happened?

Did you see that?

Right there at the end... 

How is he suddenly out of bed and walking around, arrogantly giving Geralt orders, like nothing ever happened to him?

Was he faking the comatose state this whole time?

Obviously he is hurting, we see this the following day when he's struggling to get out of bed again, but why in this scene here, is he suddenly inconsistently, able to move around seemingly fine?

He wasn't at the entire funeral, and does leave immediately, so the indication he's hurting too much to stand through the funeral is there. Of course, you heard what he said too... basically told them it was useless to mourn death... uhm... yeah, that's coming from the guy who has spent the past 1,000 years mourning his dead lover (you know, the one he himself killed after she gave birth to a half-Elf) so much that now he's obsessively stalking her great-great-great-great-plus-granddaughter Ciri.

We also know from his scrawlings on the walls of his laboratory that Ciri is not the first of Lara Dorren's grand daughter's he's stalked like this, and we are left to ask... how the hell many girls has he done this too the past 1,000 years?

And why do stalker men in always write their obsessions on the walls of their houses?

I'm also wondering, why does Geralt let Avallac'h push him around in this scene and in scenes after this one, when before this scene Geralt was grabbing for his sword ready to lop Avallac'h's head off? Oh, right... Geralt has finally come to the realization that, Keria was right and even though Avallac'h is a member of The Wild Hunt and is probably the worst, most deviated, sneaky, bastard of all the Aen Elle Elves, he's also the man his daughter Ciri has fallen in love with. 

Ciri clearly can get anything she wants from Geralt, and no matter how much he hates Avallac'h, the discovery that Ciri really is in love with Avallac'h has made daddy Geralt just back down, shut up, and do whatever Avallac'h's psychotically deranged, deviated mind tells him to do, from this scene onward.

Dandelion's Thoughts on Geralt's Elf
Avallac'h's Unexpected Arrival At
The Rosemary & Thyme Brothel

I find this to be one of the more interesting scenes in the game, as it shows how possesive Avallac'h really is.

We already know he has issues with letting Ciri out of his sight, but now, as a result of the Trial of Grasses, there is little he can do to stop her from running off. 

One morning, shortly after the funeral, Ciri wakes Geralt before dawn, and tells him, she knows where one of King Eredin's generals is, specifically, the one who murdered Vesemir. He was to attend a festival in Velen and today is that day, and she's off to kill him. Ciri wants vengeance for Uncle Vesemir's murder. 

Geralt tries to talk her out of this very dangerous idea. When he can not persuade her, he begins to ask what Avallac'h has to say about the idea. She says he's asleep, which is why he wants to leave now before he wakes up and discovers her gone, because he would most certainly stop her. She says she left him a letter saying what she was doing, so he'd know why she was gone. Geralt finally agrees to go with Ciri (we had the option to not go with Ciri, I don't know what that choice would have done - this is a choose your own adventure game, which changes depending on the choices I make during game play and Geralt is the character you control in the game.) 

**Can I put a side note here for the people in the comments on who scream that there was never a sexual relationship between Ciri and Avallac'h (go to Ciri x Avallac'h stories and read the comments.... oooooh... biiitchy! A LOT of people who are Ciri fans really HATE Avallac'h.)... I'm gonna point out that this scene where Ciri is talking to Geralt about sneaking out to kill the general, she DOES say she and Avallac'h are sleeping in the same room together at Kaer Morhen and she DOES say she just got out of bed with Avallac'h, and she makes a point of saying she just got him to sleep and that he would not wake up for a while, thus why now was the best time to leave. Perhaps the conversation is different if you make different game choices, and that's why the people making those comments have not seen it? This is a game that has 36 possible endings depending on conversation choices you made in the game, and by choosing one line of dialogue, you don't see the others. The choices I made in game, did lead to this conversation between Ciri and Geralt that made it very clear Ciri and Avallac'h have a long term sexual relationship going on. Which is why she trashes his lab, later in the game, when she finds another woman in his bed.**

But back to Ciri wanting to kill the general that killed Vesemir...

Keep in mind, Ciri is still unaware that Avallac'h is a member of The Wild Hunt AND no one has thought to tell Ciri what they did to Avallac'h, specifically what Vesemire did to Avallac'h during the Trial of the Grasses. Ciri remains clueless to how badly the Witchers have cripple Avallac'h and is of the assumption that his ill health is caused by the Uma spell.

From here we spend about 3 hours of gameplay, hunting down the general, who, as it turns out has more naked women following him around then Avallac'h does. I can't put up ANY clips from this scene, because the the 3 crones are fully nude fighting Ciri, while Geralt is batting the General, during his orgy with some 30+ fully naked Succubi.

Here's a screenshot from that battle so you can see how bad the nudity in this game really gets... this is the only scene from the battle I could capture that was....


ALMOSt PG13...

kind of...

not really...

we'll pretend this is a PG13 picture...

and, that's a man's head, she's holding, it's not her boob. You have no idea how hard it was for me to capture just the right moment so the severed head was covering her boob, while at the same time having the other girls' boobs and vagina's not on display and allowing the picture to be... *cough* kind of not PG13 at all... yeah...  

Nobody wears clothes in this game. Clothes go on for a bit, but then some Elf walks by and everybody's clothes fall off.... I don't know what it is about the Elves in this game that causes everyone's clothes to fall off when an Elf enters the room...

Witcher 3 Wild Hunt, kind of sends the message that is you see a male Elf walk by, you're supposed to throw your cloths off and start chasing him begging for sex, while he kills somebody, then you can have sex with 20 Elves in a cauldron full of blood...

... I'm not joking... that's a cauldron full of blood they are having a sex orgy in, in that screenshot. The Elves in this game are so sadistically, psychotic, it's amazing! I love it.

And you know... if Elves were real, I'd probably be in that crowd of women, throwing my clothes off running after the male Elves too.

People are always asking, WHY am I so obsessed with playing this game 8 to 10 hours a day, for 2 years straight... 

It's Elf Porn.

This game is freaking Elf Porn!

It's a role playing game that lets you have hoards of naked women run screaming through the streets after male Elves.

And, I know that's not the point of the game, I mean supposedly I'm supposed to be out fighting monsters and saving the world... but... there are so many naked Elves in this game, it's hard to keep focus on killing monsters when there's all these Elves to drool over instead!

And some of the stuff the characters say, is Fabio novel hilarious. Wait till your character enters a brothel, hands over all the money he just won in a card game, and says he wants to "dip his dingle". Yeah, that's line from the game. Even more hilarious is Avallac'h doesn't know what that means and there are scenes where people are standing around talking about sex, using euphemisms and the Elf is clueless to what the conversation is about, until Geralt pokes him and says "that means fuck", and Avallac'h's: "Oh!" All of sudden, he gets the conversation.

You can have your character hire whores and have sex on screen. And there's a mod for the game... I've not used it yet, but I will in my 2nd playthrough. Geralt is the only character you can control in the game, so Geralt is the only man in the sex scenes. There is a mod that allows you to remove Geralt from the game and play Avallac'h instead. Can you imagine, me playing as Avallac'h, with the way I play this game already? I'll never get out of the brothels.

And my Geralt can afford so many whores. I'm so good at cards! My last Gwent game, Ep 284, I won $182,000! I dare you to play Gwent against me and win. My Geralt is a Gwent playing billionaire, that's how I've bought every armour, coat, and sword in the game.... I *cough* have trouble getting my Geralt out of the brothels... there's just so many naked Elves...I mean... there's so many Gwent players to play cards with.

Elihal the transvestite Elf

There is a transvestite Elf in this game... he frequents Dandelion's Rosemary and Thyme Brothel, conveniently the Brothel, I decided to have my Geralt live in.

If you've never watched me play Witcher 3... you have no idea... it's none stop commentary of "OMG! Look at that gorgeous Elf! Have we meet him yet, I must go talk to him. Oh, look there's another Elf, I haven't talked to him yet either. Hey, there's another Elf over there, let's go talk to him."

I'm supposed to be a monster hunter chasing down monsters, that's the point of the game, but who wants to kill monsters when I've naked Elves standing over there?

Most people who play this game, it's takes 60 to 70 hours to reach The Isle of Mist Quest...

Elf murdering King Radovid whom we assassinated because he killed all the Elves in the Novigrad Bits. :( took me 260 hours!


Because, half the game is me running back and forth between Avallac'h and Elihal.








Damn you Radovid, you killed my transvestite Elf! DIE!

Wait... where's Kalkstein? No. Not Kalkstein. You killed Kalkstein! You bastard!

I killed Radovid because he killed Elihal, my 2nd favorite Elf in the game and Kalkstein, my previous fave character before I discovered Avallac'h.

Gotta admit, Kalkstein defiantly had best death in the game. He didn't go down without a fight... Kalkstein style.

If you've watched my Witcher 1 playthrough (different game from Witcher 3 Wild Hunt) then you know we befriended, defended, and sided with psycho wizard Kalkstein when all fingers were pointing at him and screaming murder. We trekked through Crookback Bog battling Drowned Dead, to help help him brew fistect, it was through crazy Kalkstein that we learned Geralt is not circumsized which too this day I still have clue what that had to do with the conversation, we help psycho billy Kalkstein build a wizard's tower in the middle of CrookBack bog and unleash hell on earth. We fought that damned Golem boss battle 9 times, before we got past it, only to get side swiped by psycho Elf Yaevinn. But hey, it's another psycho sadistic Elf, let's join him too. We then gathered up Kalkstein and Yaevinn together to go screaming through the swamps like wild maniacs as we marched the entire Scoia'tael Elf Army into Novigrad to slaughter every last Human we could find, so we can have psycho Elf sex orgies on caldrons of blood.

Hhhhmmm... are we sure the Elves of the Witcher franchise aren't vampires? 

There's a point in Witcher 1 when you are given a choice:

  1. Side with Sigmund and help the Humans defeat the Evil Elf invaders.
  2. Do nothing and watch Sigmund and Yaevinn kill each other and everyone around them
  3. Side with Yaevinn and bring down an apocalypse of psychotic Elves onto Humanity.

We grabbed Kalkstein, sided with Yaevinn and got what I think was actually the "bad" ending of Witcher 1, because we unleashed psychopathic alien Elves from another galaxy on the Earth, while death march slaughtering every Human in sight. But hey, we saved the Scoia'tael, the Elves are alive, to hell with Humanity, we want to save Elves and help them take over the planet, so who needs a "good" ending when we got the ending where the Elves win?


Kalkstein is awesome. Definitely ranks as the most psychotic of the psychotic wizards that run rampant in the Witcher franchise.

Then I find out he's in Witcher 3 Wild Hunt and I'm like! Yes! Kalkstein! OMG! He was so much fun in Witcher 1!

And he's only in Witcher 3 for 5 damn seconds, long enough for Radovid to kill him. But hey, this is Kalkstein we're talking about, a wild man from the swamps of Velen with bombs strapped to every inch of him.

Try to take out a psychotic, suicidal, cannibalistic, bomb building, fistek snorting, higher then hell on every drug he can find, hermit wizard who's lived in CrookBack Bog waaaaaay too long and think he ain't gonna take out half the city with him. That's our Kalkstein, we say as we watch the fireworks in the sky that spell out the words:

"Radovid sucks flaccid cock"

Go Kalkstein! Yes! Best death in the game. 

The whole world knew if anyone was going to die in a flurry of bombs going off to spell obscenities in the sky, and give the king a great big fuck you that could be seen by the entire country, it was definitely gonna be Kalkstein. 

What is it with the wizards in the Witcher franchise? They are all brass balls, off their rocker, crazy nuts, fistek up their noses, ready to strap rockets to their asses and blow up the planet in screaming, drug induced, suicidal crazed frenzies. Every last one of them.

I mean, we know, in the Witcher universe, magic is highly radioactive and heavy duty use of magic leaves the mages sterile, but, damn, I think it fries their brains too.

There has to be a connection, to why all the wizards of the Witcher franchise are stark raving mad lunatics.

And here we were thinking Avallac'h was different. Calm, quiet little Avallac'h, keeping to himself, reading his books, not bothering anyone throughout 90% of the game, then turn your back on him for one boss battle and suddenly he's on top of a tower tossing fireballs and lightning bolts at you while ripping earthquakes through the mountain.

I so did not see that coming... not from Avallac'h. From any other wizard in the game, especially Kalkstein, you expect that sort of thing, but Avallac'h?

Kalkstein was a raving lunatic and we loved him for it.

Kalkstein was also brash, hot tempered, quick to act before thinking, and ready to run wild screaming through the streets.

Avallac'h on the other hand, is an absolute sociopath, and I think, we probably should be very, very, very, terrified of him....

VERY terrified, especially now that we know he has psychotic breakdowns and rushes to tops of mountains to lash out brimstone and hellfire on everyone. And judging from everything else he does, I'm gonna guess there is some serious pent up sexual frustrations going on here.

Here, have a few fireballs, take a dozen or so, more even, he's got plenty to throw at you...

Avallac'h is calm and composed, sits quietly analyzing everything and everyone, calculating tactics in his deviated brain, and then quietly and calmly says something offhandedly to get people fighting with each other. Sly, sneaky, and living up to his name (Avallac'h means The Sneaky Fox) Avallac'h is capable of tricking people into unwittingly killing off his enemies for him, so he doesn't have to lift a finger and can continue to quietly read his books, in an innocent: "I wasn't involved at all, I'm right here reading.".

And do you realize I over obsessed over Avallac'h so much that I never once noticed he was the primary villain of the game, until I got to the final boss battle, and I'm going... wait, what do you mean I have to kill Avallac'h?

I'm not killing Avallac'h. NO!

How dare you make him be the final boss battle!

I refuse to fight him. I am not going to kill Avallac'h.

I'll throw Ciri into his arms and help Avallac'h blow up the planet, before I kill Avallac'h.

(Which I did, by the way, you know because that's an option in the game. You don't want to kill Avallac'h? Fine. Here's the option to throw Ciri at him and let him blow up the planet. And you know what I found out? The game has a VERY rare ending, known as the "best" or "good" or "true" ending that is cannon to the novels. It's the single most rarely seen ending of the game, the hardest one to get, and I got it, thanks to my being insanely obsessed with Avallac'h.)

If you want to get the "good" ending of the game, you have to do these steps: EXACTLY:

  1. When given the option to take Ciri drinking or have a snowball fight: choose the snowball fight.
  2. Take Ciri to visit her father. (if you miss this, you are going to get the WORST ending EVERY time, no matter what else you do, so do not skip this step)
  3. When her father gives you money, do not accept it (this will also trigger the worst/bad ending)
  4. After Ciri and Avallac'h fight on the boat, take her to his house, explore the house, find EVERYTHINg, then when you find Avallac'h's wife/prostitute - trash the place. (You MUST trash the lab to trigger the option to get the good ending. Do everything else but miss this and you'll get a neutral ending.)
  5. Take Ciri to visit Skjall and then bury his body when you find him dead (you MUST trash Avallac'h's lab to trigger this option; if you don't trash Avallac'h's lab, you'll not be given the option to take Ciri to visit her OTHER lover, Skjall)
  6. At the final boss, don't fight Avallac'h, let him talk and give Ciri time to get between the two of you to break up the fight, then watch what happens.

If Geralt doesn't trash the lab, Ciri is never able to gain the self confidence to defy Avallac'h and finally break free of his obsessive, possessive nature. Doing this also gives her the confidence to stand up to you (Geralt) and not let you kill Avallac'h who she does still love.

If you miss any one of those 6 steps, you'll get a neutral ending, unless you miss visiting her father in which case, you get the absolute worst ending possible and watch Ciri be sacrificed by a psychotic Elf on a power trip. 

A psychotic Elf on a power trip. That sums up Avallac'h in one line.

Of course, if you have ever watched my Witcher Let's Plays, you know I'm more or less doing a pacifist run. We chase pigeons, We pick flowers. We befriend Trolls. We don't kill wolves, dogs, or bear. If the option to show mercy is there we take it, so, I don't got any Succubi or Doppler decotions, because I let all the Succubi and Doppelgangers go free. Tried our damnedest not to kill Gaunter o'Dimm (I should go write a fangirl gush feast about him next, another fave character in the game.) Accidently killed the Bloody Baron and had to find spoilers to find out what caused it, only to find it was a quest I had finished 3 weeks earlier, so I went back to an old save file and had to replay and entire 48 episodes of the game, just to keep the Bloody Baron alive.

And that's the part going up this week, episodes 80 through around 130, so you can watch me do that right now, you'll also see Avallac'h for the first time this week as those are the same episodes he first appears in. Note, I've not edited the let's plays AT ALL - you are seeing every uncut, so both the original playthrough of the Crookback Bog quest, with The Bloody Baron's death AND the going back to replay it and keep him alive are all there for you to watch.

You'll also see in the CrookBack Bog replay section, an episode of: "OMG! Who is that? Where did he go? Why can't I talk to him? How do I get him back here? Who was that? Why doesn't he have a name? Where did he go? I want to find him again. How do we get him back here? I want to meet that guy. Who was that?" for about 2 hours after Avallac'h makes his first 10 second walk by in the game.

My obsession with Avallac'h started BOOM instant the first second I saw him, and his being here a split second, there a split second, always running away, and never getting chance to talk to him or find out who he was until the Uma quest lead to the Trial of Grasses, which is the first time you see him not running away, that caused me to get so obsessed with him. It became a personal quest of, how the hell do I catch this guy and talk to him. Obviously a wizard capable of Blinking, he shows up and is gone before you barely had time to notice him there.

And then the first time we are able to catch up to him and talk to him, it's because he's passed out on the floor absolutely naked.

That certainly helped the obsession with him.

I have entire episodes that are nothing but Geralt sitting in a brothel playing Gwent and checking out naked Elves.

This game is AWESOME!

Here, have a naked Elf:

Avallac'h, minus his clothes

^^^THAT^^^ right there is the first time you see Avallac'h without him running away. And he's completely naked. I cropped the screenshot, you know, PG13 page. But yeah, nothing like a naked Elf laying on the floor to trigger an obsession with his character.

And I know it seems like I went off topic there, but really I didn't.

We was taking about how Ciri was sneaking out of Kaer Morhen to go kill the Elf general who killed Vesemir. And then I'm giving you not a video clip of the fight, but rather a video clip of a brothel.

Thus why I side tracked to tell you there are brothels on every street corner in this game and you can send your character off with pretty much every whore in the game.

So, anyone not familiar with the game and not knowing what it is like, well, then, you might be surprised, when, from everything I said in the first half of this page, and then I get to this video clip here, and tell you, oh, by the way, Avallac'h lives on the 3rd floor of a brothel.


He has a cave fortress in the side of a mountain in Skellige, a hide out in the swamps of Velen, and when in Novingarrd, Avallac'h lives on the 3rd floor of a brothel.

Also, I already told you Avallac'h was an artist, and spends a great deal of time drawing.

Did I tell you what he draws?

When Avallac'h is not being a perverted creepazoid stalker, obsessing over Ciri... he's spends his days drawing porn (yes, of Ciri)... here's Geralt's reaction to discovering this fact about Avallac'h and Avallac'h's inability to explain why he's doing it... (this room by the way is the previously mentioned 3rd floor room of the brothel)

Human hating High Elf, Avallac'h avoids explaining why he's sitting in a whorehouse drawing porn of Human women

But back to Ciri wanting to kill the general that killed Vesemir...

Ciri leaves, and in my gameplay, Geralt goes with her. She leaves a letter telling Avallac'h what she is doing. Ciri fights the 3 Crones, Geralt fights the general. A plethora of boobs, titties, and nipples abound throughout the fight... which I suppose if I was a man, would have been a huge distraction in the boss fight, but, eh, naked women are not my thing, so I just sliced up the general in a few swings and his barenaked ladies scattered to the forest. Had Avallac'h been there naked though... yeah, I'd probably STILL be fighting that boss battle. This game was designed to trip up male players, so it has way more nude boobs then nude men going on.

3 hours of gameplay later, Ciri decides to visit her childhood friend Dandelion, who now owns a brothel...

And like I said, I find this to be one of the more interesting scenes in the game, as it shows how possesive Avallac'h really is.

We already know he has issues with letting Ciri out of his sight, but now, as a result of the Trial of Grasses, there is little he can do to stop her from running off. But now he's proven that he can find her no matter she is and get to the place she is going to, not only before she gets there, but before she has even told any one she is going there.

This scene is one of the first to show Avallac'h's nature starting to get more stalker creepy than we thought he was.

Here is THAT scene...

Dandelion's Thoughts on Geralt's Elf
Avallac'h's Unexpected Arrival At 
The Rosemary & Thyme Brothel

So, what just happened here?

Everyone left Kaer Morhen, literally every last person left, and they left Avallac'h alone. No one told him where they were going. No one told him their plans.

Other then Ciri, no one trusts him. The Aen Elle Elves are saditic, vicious, cruel, cold hearted, bloodthirsty, Human slaughtering monsters.The Aen Elle are worse than most typical monsters, because they are highly evolved, extremely intelligent, sentient Humanoids who look nothing like typical monsters.

Everyone knows this. Even other races of Elves, the Aen Seidhe and the Scoia'tael, don't trust the Aen Elle. The Aen Elle are aliens from another galaxy. But far worse than a normal Aen Elle, is an Aen Saevherne, an Aen Elle with magic and psychic abilities.

The Aen Saevherne possess mind controlling, hypnotic, psionic abilities and can get into your head, adjust your thoughts, read your thoughts, and change your memories, force your dreams to dream what they want you to see.

Avallac'h is an Aen Saevherne. They know this, and that's why the first chance they can get to get Ciri away from him, they all leave.

Not one of them planned to go back to Kaer Morhen, AND they planned to keep Ciri so distracted that, they hoped, to make her forget Avallac'h, AND also hoped he'd just go back to wherever he came from.

And yet... they get to Dandelion's brothel and find Avallac'h not only waiting for them, but Dandelion in a fret, because the Elf has moved into the brothel, including to have used a portal to transport mountains of his books and notes into this room, he's locked himself in.

Then, when Geralt confronts him, Geralt finds Avallac'h, not only knew to come here, but he also knew they had already killed the general and the crones, as well as how... a fact that no one questions.

HOW... freaking... HOW did Avallac'h know King Eredin's general was dead?

It gets worse, when he continues to explain, he also knows Eredin is the one who killed the previous king, with poison, a thing Avallac'h specializes in, and he evasively refuses to tell Geralt how he knows this when no one else does, though it now becomes clear that Avallac'h is in one on one conversations with King Eredin.

The next four clips, show this scene unfold...

Avallac'h - King Eredin's second in command...

oh, wait, no, we don't know that yet...

I mean, Somehow Avallac'h Mysteriously Knows Every Move The Enemy Makes Before They Do It

Avallac'h - Traveling To The Home Planet Of The Elves
Exploring Distant Galaxies With Avallac'h

Ge'els knew not to trust Avallac'h ... watch him as he contemplates calling out to his guards for help. 
We should have listened to Ge'els...

Notice too, how the confused Avallac'h has no clue what the child is talking about, until Geralt explains the boy's mother is flipping out over the boy's father fucking a whore, and Avallac'h responds with: "Oh, that's okay," and continues on like nothing ever happened...

Ge'els, a giant 7 foot tall Aen Elle Elf, is clearly terrified of the little 5 foot 9 Avallac'h.

These 2 Elves grew up together, and centuries earlier, fought side by side, both as generals in a war/holocaust against Humans. Ge'els and Avallac'h had a falling out over Avallac'h's obsession with Lara Dorren (note where Ge'els tries to tease Avallac'h about Lara and quickly changes the subject once he realizes he's pissed Avallac'h off).

Ge'els does not see Geralt as a threat, instead wonders out loud, why an upstanding, good, save-the-world, hero type of person would be seen in the company of someone who is cast out by is own people because they saw him to be too much of an untrustworthy, backstabbing bastard... to the point they changed his name to "sneaky fox" (Remember his real name is Creven not Avallac'h).

Ge'els keeps his distance from Avallac'h, and when the palace guards make their rounds he tries to call out to them for help, but quickly realizes that Avallac'h would kill him long before the guards could help as they were too far away.

Geralt, sees Ge'els nervous behaviour and translates it as, Ge'els being a villain with something to hide, not realizing that it's Avallac'h's company that is causing his nervousness. Ge'els is just plain scared shittless of Avallac'h and, when asked to leave his home planet to visit Earth, he doesn't even put up a fight, knowing he's powerless against this vicious little Aen Saevherne.

This Video is NSFW:

Like most every scene with Avallac'h stray boobage abounds, but this time with bare nipples...I couldn't find a way to keep this scene intact and cut out the nipple clips as well, so, be prepared to see a naked she-Elf.

You've been warned...

Avallac'h hatching world take over plots under everyone's noses

Evil Elf Wizard Avallac'h Tricks Everyone Into Following Along In His Plan To Bring Down The Apocalypse, Destroy The Earth, and Kill All Humans

*Cough* *Cough*
- I Mean -

Trustworthy, Innocent Elven Sage Avallac'h Convinces Everyone To Help Him Kill The Big, Bad, Evil Elf King

**notice how even more of his porn drawings scatter his bedroom floor, but no one notices this time, probably because of the half-naked human captive in his bed...

And... WHY... does everyone completely ignore the fact that Ge'els accuses Avallac'h of keeping Ciri as a sex slave, then whoring her out to other Elves? Ge'els calls Avallac'h out as a perverted, human trafficking rapist and no one bats an eye, while Ciri lashes out at Ge'els and defends Avallac'h?

Ge'els knows Avallac'h is aiming to be king, listen as he tells Geralt he refuses to crown Avallac'h king... even though no one said anything about that...

Once he's got Ge'els on Earth, Avallac'h introduces him to Ciri. Ge'els, having witnessed Avallac'h's kidnapping of the younger 12 year old Ciri, AND having been the Elf who tried to rescue her from Avallac'h's obsession with getting the then 12 year old Ciri pregnant, he is now horrified to find that Ciri has become friends with the man who had previously kidnapped her, raped her, then ordered the king rape her.

While anyone who read the novels, is aware of these things that Avallac'h did to the much younger Ciri, any one who has NOT read the books and is only playing the game, is now being told for the first time, just how deviatly perverted Avallac'h really is. Only minimal details of what Avallac'h did to her are in the game, the book gives much more (and far worse) info.

Ge'els is about to continue his accusations, with Avallac'h just standing there not reacting at all, but Ciri, flies into an outburst, and starts defending Avallac'h, citing that what King Eredin and The Red Hunt did was worse then anything Avallac'h had ever done to her.

Ciri does not deny, and in fact admits, to what Avallac'h did to her. 

Again... pointing out to the people in the comments on who scream that there was never a sexual relationship between Ciri and Avallac'h ... the novels that this video game was based on, DOES say he raped her when she was 12 years old, and then gave her to the king, who also raped her. The novels also say that she was held captive by Avallac'h for six months and that she was used as a breeder for his genetic experiments that entire time. The novels also state that Elves age differently then Humans and because of this the Elves were unaware she was too young to be made pregnant, thus she was rescued before getting pregnant. The novels very specifically state that Avallac'h's goal was and still is in fact to get Ciri pregnant.

Remember that the start of this was Lara Dorren a she-Elf born with a rare gene mutation known as Elder Blood. Lara Dorren, was extra special as she had both Elder Blood and was also a Aen Saevherne. Her upcoming marriage to Crevan another Aen Saevherne, now known as Avallac'h was hailed as prophecy, and their children destined to be gods with the power to control the universe.

Lara Dorren realized Avallac'h did not love her and only wanted to be the father of what he called "The Child of the Elder Blood". Avallac'h is power crazed and wants to be a god. Being an Aen Saevherne, he already practically is a god. Ge'els realizes this, thus why he tells Geralt "I will not crown Avallac'h my king".

Avallac'h is a pure blooded Elf who openly admits to hating Humans and half-Elves. Ciri is a half-Elf, and Avallac'h's wife (he has one, Isilira an elven prostitute) later tells Ciri that Avallac'h hates what he has to do with her (sex), a mud-blood, to create the Child of the Elder Blood he wants. She tells Ciri it'd be better for everyone if she'd just do what she was supposed to do (get pregnant) so Avallac'h could be done with her and never have to see her again. At which point Ciri realizes he doesn't really love her and is only after fathering a child with an Elder Blood regardless of who she is.

Ciri suffers from Stockholm Syndrome, thus why later as a teenager she ran away and sought out her previous kidnapper and rapist, to live with him as his lover for 21 years, and the time period of the video game is the year the Humans are trying to get her away from him, not so much to get her away from him, as Avallac'h is rather peaceful and not hurting her, and she seems to be happy with him, but rather to keep her out of the hands of King Eredin, who likewise wants her, but plans to use her as a weapon to kill off all Humans.

These accusations are then completely ignored by everyone, as the topic changes to Avallac'h's plot to kill Eredin and become king himself. Again, Avallac'h says nothing.

Avallac'h has an unusually calm, docile, aloof attitude about everything, throughout the game, we never see him lose his temper (you know until right at the end in the last 15 minutes of the game when he runs to the top of a mountain and starts throwing fireballs at everyone), and his emotions seem to be limited to slight boredom and mild amusement.

Even when we trash his lab, and we tell him, we trashed his lab, and he just laughs and say: "Well, I trust you didn't leave a mess."

The strongest emotions we ever see are his fear at being harmed by other people's violence (usually Geralt's) towards him when they get angry at him. Though an insanely overpowered wizard, he is physically very weak, and very small... he the shortest man in the game who is not a Dwarf or Gnome. He's also shorter then most of the female characters, including Ciri, who, is MUCH shorter then the other male charters, but is at least 4 inches taller then Avallac'h.

Avallac'h is by race an Aen Elle Elf, and MOST of the Aen Elle are well over 7 feet tall, with Avallac'h being only a little over 5 feet tall, and seen being bullied by his much taller brethren.

You can see his interactions with the other Aen Elle, and it's clear they both tease him and are scared shitless of him. You see every other Aen Elle in the game, greet Avallac'h with some sort of snide comment or mean put down. Even Ge'els the first time we see him in game, starts teasing Avallac'h about Lara Dorren. And seconds later we see, Avallac'h telling Ge'els he's to go with Avallac'h to Earth. Ge'els, a giant Elf, a good 2 feet taller then little Avallac'h, attempts to call out to his armed guards for help, but stops when looking to Avallac'h and seeing the wizard's intense angry eyes.

There are numerous occasions when we see Avallac'h show terrified fear, when he thinks someone will actually hurt him, but we also see him take a silence and very dominate stance when he thinks he has the upper hand and can use magic to quickly defeat someone.

Interestingly, though we are "told" (via Geralt's character reading books found in game) that young Avallac'h was a merciless killer... the 2,000 year old Avallac'h we see in game, doesn't fit that description and we never actually see him hurt any one. Quite the contrary, we see him AVOID hurting people... even in the fireball scene... he never hits any one with them and it appears he's more trying to scare people away from the mountain, rather then actually trying to hurt any one... and this is confirmed when we reach the top of the mountain, and he immediately stops his attack. At which point Geralt attacks Avallac'h with his sword, and Avallac'h instead of drawing his own sword to fight, removes it and throws it to the ground, then takes a very submissive prone stance, waiting for Geralt to kill him, while he does absolutely nothing to defend himself in this scene.

The one time we see him in a fight scene, he doesn't fight, but rather puts up a barrier around himself, and slowly makes his way away from the fight, again not using his sword to fight, he instead uses his staff simply to block incoming blows and making no attempt to either fightback or defend himself.

While he carries a sword, it appears to be more decorative and used only in ritual magic and not kept as an actual weapon. When confronted, attacked, bullied, teased, pushed around, humiliated, picked on, laughed at, or injured, we never once see him fight back. Ever. At all. He has an obvious anti-violence nature.

We are lead to wonder, WHY, do the tomes we can read in-game tell us stories of him as a vicious killer when. nothing about his character says he is? We get the answer by reading more of the in-game books, to find the same author who penned the books deframing Avallac'h, wrote many other books that sad horrible things about other Elves, things we learn to be false, and then we find that this same historian is also the author of a book which says Witchers are themselves monsters to be hunted along side Elves. If we read EVERY tome we collect in-game, we come to see that this particular author is a bigot who hates no-humans and his books, nothing more then propaganda. This leads us to question if the stories of a murderous young Avallac'h are true or not.

He is a very fear filled character. Always alert and on the look out any impending harm.

We see this fear, slightly here, with him looking to Geralt to see how Geralt is going to react to Ge'els accusations, but otherwise remaining calm. So his continuing to do this during this slew of accusations, is consistent with his character.

Though, while he's remaining calm, he does look like he wants to bite Ge'els head off as the accusations roll out. Look at his eyes as he glares at Ge'els during this conversation...

And, watch Corinne while this is going on... at the start of all this, she has a blouse on under her apron, but now look at her seconds later when Avallac'h's had enough of listening to Ge'els and has now focused his attention on Corinne...

Do you see what I mean?

Where did her blouse go?

She was wearing one 2 minutes ago, you know before Avallac'h walked in the room, tossed her on his bed, and did that mind-meld thing he likes doing to women, that you see him doing in this picture here...

(This is his room in the brothel by the way, if you didn't recognize it from the previous videos.)

And, most women, it's just their shirts that go missing, but, wait, let's look at Corinne again...

She was wearing a long floor length skirt.

What is that she's wearing now?

A loin cloth?


When she first came into the room, she was wearing a billowy blouse and a floor length skirt, Avallac'h gets near her and now she's almost got her unmentionables covered.

This is a wizard with the ability to make women's clothes vanish. Weird powers he has.

I also wonder, how many wizards could do this, but just don't have the bold brass balls this guy does to actually do it?

Of course, I don't know what's creepier... the fact that he can make women's clothes vanish at will or the fact that he so obviously gets off on zapping their thoughts out of their heads.

You watch the video clip of this scene, while he's touching her forehead and reading her thoughts, he's practically having an orgasm while he does it. No, we've seen enough characters in this game having an orgams to know how this game shows it. We've certainly walked into enough brothels, including we killed high priest Nathaniel (a serial killing rapist we caught in the act), and we have already completed the Reginald's Genitals Quest...which uhm... is literally a quest to look for a guy's missing magic testicals. Yeah, gotta love this game. Back to Avallac'h, he is most definitely having an orgasm in this scene. Just saying.

Of course... if you watch the girl in the video clip... there's this whole, OMG! What the frick did he do to her! Seriously, watch that clip, and watch what SHE'S doing while he's having that orgasm of his there. Poor Corinne.

God! Look at her eyes!

He sends her into a massive seizure and you wonder is she gonna live through it. If that's the kind of reaction women have to him just touching them, OMG, what the hell happens to them during actual sex? (And you know, I wish he was real, so I could find out. I really do. If this guy was real, I'd be in bed with him so fast...)

Obviously you don't have to have sex with him to be blown out of your mind. No wonder this guy has the Lodge of Sorceresses obediently following him around obeying his every whim and Ciri is all, yeah I know what he did to me, and I don't care, I'm gonna let him do it again. Avallac'h is not only an overpowered Elf wizard, but apparently he's some type of a sex god too. He has the ability to get inside you head, and it's pretty clear where he goes when he's in there.

And let me side track here, you know, because I haven't already sidetracked enough, while I'm talking about the mystery of the amazing vanishing clothes...

Have you ever seen this guy put his own clothes on?

Yes. There is a scene with him naked and getting dressed. Immediately after the Trial of Grasses. The Witchers have got him, unconscious, laid out on the table, wondering what to do with him. He wakes up, and though barely able to move, immediately realizes he is naked, and uses what little strength he has to dress himself. He waves his hand slightly, a blue glowy glitter sparkles around him, and poof his clothes magically appear. 

Here you go, you can watch him do it here:

I suppose after seeing how he dresses himself, it's no surprise how he undresses every woman he walks past.

See, walk down the street, and woman's clothes just drop off as he passes. Weird.

I can just see Avallac'h as an X-men character. Dr. Xavier there, "And what's your superpower, son?"

Avallac'h: "I teleport clothes and give women orgams by looking at them."

LOL! I have to go write that Avallac'h as an X-men fanfiction now. :) :P

ooookay... I'm back to edit this page again, because, yeah, that last line there was stuck in my head, and I had to go to Tumblr to make a fanfic meme to go with it. Here it is...

Oh and speaking of Avallac'h's naked women... if you was to zoom in on his bed (yes, I did, because you know, I'm weird that way) there are naked women embroidered into his blankets.

Why did I suddenly decide to take a screenshot of his bed, put it in photoshop and magnify it? I don't know. But once I started realizing he suffered from this strange phenomena of women going naked as he walked by them, and realized that he was the artist behind the porn drawings scattered throughout the game, I started wondering how fr his obsession with naked women went and started looking for them, and they are EVERYWHERE! It's rather amazing the amount of detail the game developers put into this.

But let's get back to Ge'els spilling out accusations of Avallac'h's sexual transgressions against Ciri...

Avallac'h is a strange character, for he's not really a villain, nor is he evil, but, he's also not anything close to being a hero, and his goodness, is often outweighed by his badness.

While he supposedly killed a lot of Humans some 2,000 years ago, it seems that for at least the last 400 years, he has been peaceful, docile, and mostly keeping to himself. Though selfish, arrogant, and a sexually perverted womanizer, he doesn't seem to ever hurt anybody. And while he apparently has issues caused by his sexual perversions, it seems that no women whom he's ever sexualy victimized, ever truely felt hersellf victimized.

Unlike most men in the series who are bigger, stronger, younger, and more muscled out, Avallac'h is a smaller, less threatening man with a soft, quiet, gentle voice. Though he doesn't get emotionally invested in his women, he does take care of them and protect them and is willing to fight to the death for them. Avallac'h makes women feel loved, wither he truly does love them or not. He's very good at this. He has a gentle, yet charismatic way with women, that seems to get him anything he wants from them, without them ever complaining or pressing charges.

Thus is the case with Ciri, where Ge'els tries to convince her that Avallac'h is NOT a good person and should not be trusted, by reminding her of the time (in the novels) when Avallac'h was holding her captive and using her as a breeder, Ge'els specifically bringing up the occasion he was a witness to, when Avallac'h gave Ciri to the king to be bred as part of his genetic experiments.

These accusations, though clearly upsetting him to listen too, however, seem to be something Avallac'h was relying on. We see again and again, throughout the game, that Avallac'h studies people, figures out how they react to things, then sets them up against something or someone that he knows will trigger them to react in a way he wants that'll help further his plan. He repeatedly uses this technique to trick people into unwittingly carrying out his deviant plans.

In this instance, he is deliberately trying to get everyone to turn on King Eredin, which he is able to do, by saying nothing to defend himself against Ge'els accusations, and instead, letting Ciri become angry and rant about how in spite of everything Avallac'h did, everything Eredin did was worse.

No matter what Ge'els says, Ciri can fly back, "But Eredin..." and by doing nothing, Avallac'h succeeds in getting everyone hung up on Ciri's rage against Eredin.

When everyone is now focused on Ciri's accusations against Eredin, Avallac'h now moves in and PUTS an image into the mind of an Oramancer, causing everyone to see, what is supposedly, a dream that can not be fabricated... however, Avallac'h is an Aen Saevherne and maipulating dreams and memories is something he can do. And so while everyone sees the memory of Eredin's murder of the king, it's unclear if the memory is real or just something Avallac'h created. Either way, it is enough to cast doubt in Ge'els, who will not risk helping a murderer.

And suddenly, now everybody is focused fully on how do we kill Eredin, and everyone has forgotten that Avallac'h is himself evil and no one considers that he may be the mastermind behind Eredin.

Avallac'h - The Legend of The SunStone

Avallac'h clearly has Autism. 

He's quiet, shy, and keeps to himself.

He focuses on his obsessions and takes them to extremes.

While he studies people and predicts their actions, he struggles to join conversations, and has no social skills that can be seen at all.

He rarely says anything at all, but when he does, he talks TO people, not WITH people.

When he makes eye contact, it's intense, unnatural, and unnerving, he's clearly not used to doing it, yet making eye contact at all bothers him, and he tends to look at everything other then the person he's talking to, the ceiling, the floor, the wall, his porn drawings... anywhere but your face.

He's absolutely clueless in conversations, thus why Geralt keeps poking him and explaining what people are saying.

And then we have this video clip from the game... where his Autistic nature shines brighter than anywhere else, as, he displays no ability to understand Geralt is making fun of him, and joyfully jumps on the fact that someone has taken an interest in something he's interested in, to start talking their ear off about it, continues to not understand he's being teased even when Ciri comes out and says Geralt is making fun of him, and completely ignores any idea that no one is interested in what he is saying to continue talking their ears off, while they roll their eyes and try not to burst out laughing at him...

Moving on to one of the most iconic scenes in the game, that I had heard gamers talk about, but I had never before seen, until I reached it in my own gameplay (I deliberately avoided watching any let's play of it)

Trashing Avallac'h's House:

And moving on to:

That thing the she-Elf I mentioned earlier... this one:

Avallac'h is a pure blooded Elf who openly admits to hating Humans and half-Elves. Ciri is a half-Elf, and Avallac'h's wife (he has one), an Elf, later tells Ciri that Avallac'h hates what he has to do with her (sex), a mud-blood, to create the Child of the Elder Blood he wants. She tells Ciri it'd be better for everyone if she'd just do what she was supposed to do (get pregnant) so Avallac'h could be done with her and never have to see her again. At which point Ciri realizes he doesn't really love her and is only after fathering a child with an Elder Blood regardless of who she is. It's the realization that Avallac'h is willing to have sex with ANY woman who has the Elder Blood, regardless of who she is and how much he hates was race she is, that triggers Ciri to trash the lab.


After listening to Avallac'h's history lesson on the Sunstone, Geralt takes the first chance to flee the boat for dry land, before Avallac'h has a chance to start pulling out ancient books on Elven history and start reading them to everyone next...

And so, Geralt jumps off the boat and swims across the sea to the Emperor's boat conveniently parked nearby for no reason at all other then for plot reasons. 2 hours of gameplay later, Geralt arrives back at Avallac'h's ship to find, apparently Ciri and Avallac'h have had a fight, he's standing on the edge of the boat staring off at nothing, while she's storm back and forth on the dock, screaming that he's keeping secrets from her and demanding Geralt helps her break into his house which is on the island they are docked at, but he's refusing to let her see.

Yes. Avallac'h has a wife, who is also a prostitute from the Passaflora, he's hiding from Ciri and she's about to enter the game...

Avallac'h's Obsession: 

After being told he absolutely refuses to let her see his house, Ciri, has Geralt help her break into  Avallac'h's house

Of course, being a wizard, means his house is protected by barriers and golems guards which we have to fight and break through.

Once inside, Avallac'h's Half-Elf lover, Ciri (Geralt's daughter), rummages through Avallac'h's private papers and gets pissed after finding out Avallac'h, who we already know has a problem when it comes to obsessively drawing porn of nude women, has been obsessively drawing porn pictures of Ciri as well.

Ciri gets even more pissed, upon discovering, Avallac'h has built a massive multi-room shrine of her, complete with his having scrawled all over the walls.

Next we see Ciri freaking out after finding out Avallac'h has spent 200 years, obsessively, obsessing over her bloodline on some seriously, major, super obsessive, uber creepy stalker levels... to the pint that he's been trying to clone full blooded Elf versions of her that do not contain her Human blood.

Then, fueled by these discoveries, the already enraged Ciri flips out completely, upon finding another woman, Avallac'h's wife, in Avallac'h's bed, who now informs Ciri, that Avallac'h hates Ciri and is reviled by having to have sex with a half-Elf in order to create a Child of the Elder Blood.

The final words that trigger Ciri:

"And yet you come here... for what? To spy on him? He tries his damned to save you every time you do something stupid. Is that not enough?"

is wife, has not yet been informed that their son cast the Uma spell on his father, or that Avallac'h was tortured by the Witchers in the Trial of Grasses, that he almost died and is still trying to recover from his injuries, or that, his obsession with Ciri has reached the point, that Avallac'h is right now, while she yells at Ciri, he is on board that ship plotting to have Ciri murder the son he had with his wife...

While venting off how pissed she is, Ciri wishes she could destroy his house... he daddy Geralt, who has witnessed this entire thing, and has on numerous times throughout the game said he'd like to kill Avallac'h, then has the option to either calm her down and say: "Go for t!" and then start trashing the house himself...

We picked "Go For It"...

Here she is to tell Ciri how sick and tired she is of her husband's obsession with her and here is that scene... rather then explain it, let's just watch this scene unfold... (If you listen to Geralt and Yennefer in this clip, you see them TRYING to find ANYTHING they can to break of Ciri and avallac'h - Geralt has been trying to cut of Ciri's relationship with Avallac'h right since the beginning of the game)

Trashing Avallac'h's Lab

We interrupt these Witcher Clips to bring you Avallac'h's theme song


Obsession by Animotion

You are an obsession I cannot sleep
I am a possession that you feed
There's no balance no equality
But still I will not except defeat

I will have you yes I will have you
I will celebrate and I will have you

You are an obsession, you're my obsession
Who do you want me to be 
To make you sleep with me 
To make you sleep with me

I feed you I drink you my day and my night
I need you I need you by sun or candlelight
You protest, you wanna leave like a butterfly oh a butterfly
I will collect you and capture you 
Stay oh there's no alternative

Love is a bit of skin
I see the beauty there
But I see danger, stranger beware
A circumstance in your naked dreams
You reflection is not what it seems

You are an obsession, you're my obsession
Who do you want me to be 
To make you sleep with me 
To make you sleep with me

My fantasy has turned to madness
And all my goodness has turned to badness
My need to possess you has consumed my soul
My life is trembling I have no control

I will have you yes I will have you
I will find a way and I will have you
Like a butterfly oh a butterfly
I will collect you and capture you

You are an obsession, you're my obsession
Who do you want me to be 
To make you sleep with me

Avallac'h - refusing to admit or deny the she-Elf's story

Ahhh... This again...

Avallac'h is a pure blooded Elf who openly admits to hating Humans and half-Elves. Ciri is a half-Elf, and Avallac'h's wife (he has one), an Elf, later tells Ciri that Avallac'h hates what he has to do with her (sex), a mud-blood, to create the Child of the Elder Blood he wants. She tells Ciri it'd be better for everyone if she'd just do what she was supposed to do (get pregnant) so Avallac'h could be done with her and never have to see her again. At which point Ciri realizes he doesn't really love her and is only after fathering a child with an Elder Blood regardless of who she is.

But now we get to find out what Avallac'h himself has to say with Geralt, Yennefer, and Ciri together gang up on him, back him into a corner, and demand he explain his actions.

Avallac'h, is a very dominant character and maintains direct piercing eye contact during conversations. His doing this is often unnervng for the characters talking to him.

In this clip, we see Avallac'h unable to look Geralt or Ciri in the eye and instead looking away from them, trying not to look at them at all.

When asked to explain his actions with Ciri vs the accusations his wife has made, he turns away and says: "You don't really expect me to confess my feelings to you, do you?"

When asked to explain his genetic experiments, he says he did those things years ago, has since abandoned his work, and that creating a child of the Elder Blood is no longer important to him. Which Geralt laughs at, HOWEVER...

... there was that one, little itty, bitty issue that was mentioned very early on and somehow EVERYONE has overlooked...

... like, the REASON, Ciri has been with Avallac'h 21 years now and NOT yet gotten pregnant...

It was this line here which stated:

"Crevan, now using the name Avallac'h, is now infertile from too many centuries of using high powered magic, can no longer father a God child with an Elder Blood, and instead of keeping her for himself, gives the child to King Auberon, who like Avallac'h is also Aen Saevherne, but has not destroyed his chances of fathering children by dabbling in Dark Arts."

Avallac'h is fully aware he is infertile and can never father a child with any one Elder Blood or otherwise. It is for this reason, he stopped his work and states it is no longer important to him. And, had anyone been paying attention, they would have realized too, that this completely cancel out everything Avallac'h's wife said. When she tells Ciri that Avallac'h hates what he has to do with her (sex), a mud-blood, to create the Child of the Elder Blood he wants. She tells Ciri it'd be better for everyone if she'd just do what she was supposed to do (get pregnant) so Avallac'h could be done with her and never have to see her again.

It is clear that his wife and Ciri are unaware he is infertile. It is also clear that Avallac'h does not want anyone to know he is infertile, thus why he answers Geralt the way he did, when asked to explain the she-Elf's story.

In the Witcher universe, magic is harmful, radioactive, and mages, sorceresses, and witchers are all infertile because of it. The novels also state that Geralt and Yennefer are both infertile thus why they adopted Ciri and became her adoptive parents. Ad while it is common knowledge that practitioners of magic become sterile as a result of using magic, it seems to have been overlooked by everyone, that the galaxy's most powerful wizard, is like every other mage in the series, also infertile, in spite of his goal to father a Child of the Elder Blood.  

And what that means is, Avallac'h really does love Ciri, and is NOT with her because of her Elder Blood. He was at first, when he kidnapped her, but no now, these several decades later. And we now see that Avallac'h is conflicted by his feeling, for he says many times that he hates Humans and half-Elves, yet, he finds himself in love with a half-Elf that was raised by Humans. Thus it is his pride for being a full blooded High elf, that causes his inability to admit his feelings, ultimately causing him to lose Ciri who is unable to shake the she-Elf's words from her soul.

I love this game.

Have I mentioned I love this game?

It's like a soap opera. There's lover's triangles (Geralt/Yen/Triss/Shani/Keria/Phillipa... uhm... triangles only have 3 sides. boy does Geralt have a problem.) There's murder mysteries. 

Did I tell you about the rare Easter Egg I unlocked because I lost my temper and said to hell with it over one character that was pissing me off and apparently, fewer than .3% of players have ever done that before or so says the achievement award I got for burning down the Witch Hunter Headquarters... which was a good thing for a while until, King Radovid decided it was Elves that set the fire, so he gathered up all the Elves in Novengarrd and burned them alive. I'm going about my daily rounds of chasing pigeons of the bridge, picking flowers, and heading off to Dandelion's and all of a sudden, I see it... rows of dead Elves on spikes all around the city! 

I immediately rushed off to assassinate King Radovid.

Boy did that change the game.

You can buy pickle dildos and banana dildos at the Passiflora Brothel, one of the few brothels in the game that has both male and female prostitutes. I bought $5,000 in pickle and banana dildos, when I discovered that was a thing you could buy in this game. I have no clue what I'm supposed to do with them, now that I have them, but, for the past 30 or so episodes Geralt has been walking around with a saddle bag load of dildos. And, no, that's not a mod, dildo pickles is cannon to the game product sold by the merchant in the Passiflora brothel in Temple Square.

I FINALLY figured out how to use Axii and then I unlocked the Axii Flute of Blaviken, and now my Geralt can prance around in fields and gather up herds of rabbit, sheep, cats chickens wearing tin foil hats, and mountain goats to do his fighting for him... thus why you've seen a wolf, a panther, and 5 pheasants scurry by in most of these video clips... did you know you can have pets? I had a pet Leshen for a while, but every time I entered a village with my pet Leshen in tow, the villagers ran out screaming.

But then, I started wondering... so I can axii animals into pets and monsters into minions.... can I axii people into sex slaves?

The answer:


Yes, I can.

AND... so guess what I did? Yep, you know EXACTLY what I did. My mind immediately thought of Avallac'h. You can Axii Avallac'h and just have him follow you around like a mindless slave.

Uhmm... yeah, I did that for a few episodes, and started introducing him as: "Here's my Elven sex slave Avallac'h" whenever I started a conversation with any character in the game.

Axii is FUN!

Geralt is a sorcerer and casts various spells, Axii is a mind control spell that works on every person and animal in the game, allowing Geralt to have a hoard of pets, companions, slaves mindlessly following him...

...and then I discovered, I didn't have to fight monsters once I had Axii slaves, because every time a monster showed up they ran off to fight for me and I could just stand there and watch.

Sex slave Avallac'h has been doing all my fighting for me for the past several episodes.

Axii's awesome.

If you are someone who plays this game... Axii, Avallac'h, it's fun. Take him to Toussaint with you via fast travel, then let him lose in a field of Arcaspores. Geralt can just sit there smoking his weed pipe, while sex slave Avallac'h obediently fights the demon flowers for you.

Once you learn how to axii properly you can play the game without ever having to fight a monster again, and just let you sex slaves do it for you.

I pity any one who goes into watching my YouTube let's plays of this game, expecting to find a serious let's play happening.

Yes... I have learned how to hack the game, rewrite the scripts, and turn it into utter madness.

Also, you can't just cannon axii Avallac'h. No, the game doesn't let you... you know, him being galaxy's most powerful mage and all, and Geralt just being as Avallac'h puts it "a simple Witcher"

When you try to Axii Avallac'h, he just stand there staring at you, like what the fuck are you doing to me, while everyone around you, runs away screaming in mortal terror.

Hack the game, break it, then axii Avallac'h, and now it works on him.

I also turned Roach into a purple unicorn.

Plus I gave all the chickens in the game tin foil hats.

Hack the game enough and you can steal Olgred's clothes and wear then yourself, pierce Geralt's ears, give him a Wild One's mohawk, and turn him into Fashionista Pimp Geralt, king of bling, Lord over sex slave Avallac'h, riding in on his electric purple unicorn... wait till you get to around ep 170 of my Let's Play... that's when you see the madness REALLY start going down..

Then I found out I could dye Geralt's armor bright pink.

Yes... I turned Geralt into Quaraun. I had too, once I found out I could mod the game...


Purple unicorn and pink wizard, you know where that went...

So now I have Geralt dressed in bright pink, riding a purple unicorn, with a saddlebag full of didlo pickles and dildo bananas, with sex slave Avallac'h just mindlessly following him around. I have had so much fun playing this game.

Ohhhhh... and guess what else... you can clone characters.


I clones Avallac'h. If you are watching my Witcher 3 Let's Play, eventually you'll get to an episode of Gerault trekking across the world with not 1, not 2, not even 10, no, 20, twenty, sex slave Avallac'hs in tow.

I've turned my Witcher 3 game play into a freaking fanfiction nightmare.

Like I said, this game is amazing! And once I found out you could mod the frick out of it, I just went nuts with it.

And you even get to watch the apocalypse happen... wait... what?


Where'd that come from? Here I was sending Axii aidled sex slave Avallac'h off to battle drowners for me and next thing I know he's standing on top of a tower, raining hellfire on the planet. 

Avallac'h tricks Ciri into starting the Apocalypse usual, Human hating High Elf, Avallac'h is surrounded by his bevy of scantily clad, buxom babe Human women...

This scene... it feels so "off". Avallac'h has suddenly taken control of the situation, and no one seems to know why, and als no one is stopping him, with ALL the women, just mindlessly doing EVERYTHING he says without question.

Even Triss Merigold and Yennefer and Phillipa for crying out loud!


How the hell did Avallac'h get spitfire wildcat Phillipa to get in line and start taking orders. 

These women have been strong, dominant leaders throughout the game and suddenly Avallac'h walks in, their cloths all change to be even more skimpy then they normally are, and they just follow him around like puppies, doing whatever he says, obeying his every whim, and the game gives absolutely no explanation for why this suddenly happens.

Had any other man in the game, tried to order Phillipa around, she'd have turned into an owl and clawed his eyes out. Literally - that's what she does, until Radovid clawed her eyes out as punishment.

Even Geralt can't give Yen orders. Hellcat spitfire Yen is right their to punch out any man, including Geralt, who tries to tell her what to do. And how did the bed get back in the room, after she threw it out of the tower? She got mad at Geralt and threw a bed out the window at him in one episode, it's the same damned bed she's later got Avallac'h in when he was comatose.

Triss Merigold tosses fireballs in the face of men who glance at her half sideways.

And yet, watch this next clip, as these EXTREMELY dominate women, all become mindless slaves of Avallac'h, while wearing less clothes than usual... women who normally would jump on a man and pumal him for giving them orders, are here only giving slight verbal disagreements to Avallac'h, then dutifully going of to do exactly as he instructed, regardless of what they said.

Only Ciri stands up to him, and watch how he uses that to trick her into doing exactly what he wants her to do...

Avallac'h tricks Ciri into killing his son, The Wild Hunt's Mage, Caranthir Ar-Feiniel, the same mage who put the Uma curse on him.

...while his cult-hoard of nearly topless female Humans usher in the apocalypse...

And watch as Avallac'h has second thoughts over sending Ciri off to kill his son, seconds too late to stop her... 

Caranthir Ar-Feiniel is rumored to be the only mage who's powers are even close to rivalling Avallac'h's.

Caranthir Ar-Feiniel is also Avallac'h's son. Born centuries before Avallac'h became infertile, Caranthir Ar-Feiniel is now a mage whom Avallac'h calls "The Golden Child turned criminal".

Interestingly, while Avallac'h tells Geralt that Caranthir Ar-Feiniel is his son, Avallac'h has never told this information to Ciri, instead telling Ciri that Caranthir Ar-Feiniel was a "student who fell astray".

Now, we do know WHY Avallac'h has that previously seen bevy of women obeying him. The Trial of Grasses, as mentioned before, has left him with serious nerve damage, leaving him with limited use of his hands, and constant twitching tremors in his fingers. He can no longer do the complicated hand gesture rune signs needed to cast certain spells. Thus he has instructed these women in how to do the hand gesture spells for him, while he does the rest of the spell.

Have you noticed by this point, that every one involved in his disability, has been being systimatically killed off, without it ever looking like he was involved?

Remember how he stood and watched, while Vesemir was murdered, waiting until AFTER Vesemir's death, to help Ciri? Vesemir being the one who tied Avallac'h (as Uma) to a tortue table, then proceeded to vivisect him while slicing his veins upon and injecting dangerous toxins into his bloodstream?

While Vesemir did remove the Uma curse by doing this, he also left the poor Elf crippled and without the use of his hands any more. Thus why Vesemir was eliminated.

Caranthir Ar-Feiniel was the mage who cast the Uma spell, doing so on the orders of King Eredin.

Thus we see the spell being cast now in this video clip, to bring both Caranthir Ar-Feiniel and Eredin to this spot.

Avallac'h for the past several hours has been needling Ciri, telling her she can't fight, telling her she's not strong enough to fight, telling her he won't let her fight... and knowing all the while that the more he refusing to let her join Geralt in battle, the more determined Ciri is becoming at her desire to defy him and prove she can fight.

Unfortunately, he underestimates how far he has pushed her...

Avallac'h wants vengeance on the mage who cast the Uma spell on him, and that is Caranthir Ar-Feiniel, but he doesn't want to kill his son. Throughout the game Avallac'h has prevented Caranthir Ar-Feiniel from being hurt or captured by Geralt. Avallac'h doesn't want to hurt his son, but he also wants to punish him for the Uma spell, and so after needling Ciri with reverse psychology for several hours, in this video clip, you see, Ciri finally run into battle in a blind fury, the second she sees Caranthir Ar-Feiniel coming off the ship.

Realizing he's pushed Ciri's anger too far, Avallac'h tried at the last minute to tell Ciri NOT to hurt Caranthir Ar-Feiniel, instructing her to just destroy the staff he carries as it is the source of the mage's power. He can not cast his spells without it.

Ciri agrees to this, then adds she's cut off Caranthir Ar-Feiniel's head. We see one of the few times in the game, where Avallac'h let's his emotionless stance down, as a look of absolute horror spreads across his face and he responds seconds too late as Ciri vanishes into a portal and heads off to kill Avallac'h's son.

We are left to wonder... had she known that Caranthir Ar-Feiniel was Avallac'h's son and that Avallac'h could not have more children, thus did not want to see his son killed, would Ciri have been so quick to slaughter the mage.

NOTE: I'm using a level 44 sword in this level 22 boss battle thus how I'm cutting the Wild Hunt down with a single swing...

The battle with Caranthir Ar-Feiniel, lasts until his staff breaks. The instant it does, Ciri is hit by a barrier that knocks her to the ground and keeps her there.

While playing the game, I had thought Caranthir Ar-Feiniel had cast the spell, but when watching the play back, I realized the spell, was cast, WHILE he was still trying to stand up, after his staff broke. He turns and charges to Ciri, about to kill her, when she vanishes, leaving Caranthir Ar-Feiniel still alive and largely unharmed, but without his primary weapon and source of magic power.

Geralt, comes in on the scene, does not see Ciri, sees Caranthir Ar-Feiniel and immediately a new boss battle starts in with Caranthir Ar-Feiniel, this time with him weilding a sword against Geralt. Geralt kills him, and immediately King Eredin shows up and the end of game FINAL boss battle starts, where you have to defeat the game's primary villain, who is also supposedly the hardest to beat battle in the game, against the most powerful character in the game....

You know... the game has spent 300 hours at this point, telling me simultaneously that Avallac'h was the most powerful mage to ever exist, while also telling me at every turn Eredin is the badass we are supposed to be hunting... oh wait, it is Avallac'h who's been telling us that thought right? And it had not yet occurred to me that this also meant he was both the game's primary villain and final boss battle.

There is no facecam on these clips here, but in my actual let's play videos, you get me there on facecam commenting about what's going on... you want to see me have a meltdown in game? Watch for Ep. 290 of the Witch 3 Let's Play... I got completely side swiped by the ending I did not see coming, and flipped out big time.

You know... this boss fight was so long and jumped right into the King Eredin Final Boss Battle (which I had to fight through 5 times before I was able to get even a few seconds into without him just one hit killing me...)... but, did you see where I was playing as Ciri at the start of it and suddenly she just vanishes and I'm playing as Geralt again... this game does that... zips you in and out of characters without warning.. It's been doing this the whole game, so you think NOTHING of it when you are bounced out of Ciri and Geralt...

So...uhm... where'd Ciri go and why DID she vanish right at the exact moment she broke the staff, seconds before killing Avallac'h's son, to leave him, alive? 

Where is Ciri and WHY didn't she kill Avallac'h's son? Is it a coincidence, that Avallac'h REALLY did not want to see his son killed and only wanted the staff broken, and Ciri was unable to kill Avallac'h's son AND vanished just as she was about to do so, right after breaking the staff?

And did you notice how she went all blue glowy glitter when she vanished... you know the same way clothes do when they vanish off women or appear on Avallac'h? Yeah. He is able to do some sort of teleport things... and we knew that. because teleportation is his primary skill.

Ah! And so now where know why women lose their clothes - he teleports their clothes somewhere. But where and why? His secret lab perhaps? You know that one he won't let any one in? Well, we do know he's got a stash of porn and candy in his lab, so that's probably where the women's missing clothes end up too.

Poor Avallac'h. He's got so many issues.

Moving on...

So where did Ciri go and why?

That's a very good question, that I never once thought to ask while fighting the battle, not until I was faced with this next question....

Avallac'h is the Final Boss Battle?
Wait, I Have To Fight Avallac'h?

You Mean King Eredin is NOT the Final Boss Battle?

I have to kill Avallac'h?

No! I love Avallac'h!

Why do I have to fight Avallac'h?

He's my favourite character in the books and the games!

I don't want to kill Avallac'h.

I want to CosPlay Avallac'h...

I'd marry Avallac'h.

I wish Avallac'h was real.

And now you're telling me I have to kill him next?

No! That's not gonna happen!

I don't want to kill Avallac'h.

I want to become as obsessed with Avallac'h as he is with Ciri :)

His obsessive nature is contagious.

Here now is the game's Final Boss Battle With King Eredin... and, omg, look at how it ends...

Avallac'h - The End (End of The Witcher 3 Game)

Picking Sides
Refusing To Kill Avallac'h

I sided with villainous Elf Yaevinn in Witcher 1, helped him mercilessly slaughter Sigmund and his Human army.

In every Witcher game, I ran through Novengraide, killing every guard that I saw bullying an Elf. Lopped off Human heads left and right, even unlocked a rare Easter Egg for doing it.

Then I assassinated King Radovid in Witcher 3, when he mass murdered the Scoia'tael Elves... 

You really think I'm gonna fight or kill Avallac'h now? After I just spent 300 hours of gameplay obsessing over him as my favourite character of the entire Witcher franchise?

Yeah, right...

I REFUSE to kill an Elf, even if he is a no good, backstabbing, evil bastard about to blow up the planet and using my daughter to do it....  (ignoring the fact that I did just get done killing Avallac'h's son and then killed Avallac'h's king, both of which apparently Avallac'h tricked me into killing so that he could slip away here with Ciri and kill all the Humans, you know, like he did on all those other planets he already annihilated of Humans...)

so I paused the game upon arriving here, went to read game spoilers to find out what choices to make to avoid the fight, then came back, and here is what I did instead...

And ultimately... by not killing Avallac'h I give Ciri time to rush out and explain what is ACTUALLY going on... resulting in...

...I got the rarely seen, often sought after, hardest to get ending in the game: The Best/Good Ending

You are now about to see the ending some 14million gamers have fought to get and fewer than 9% have ever achieved... 

The Canon to the novels "Good Ending" of Witcher 3:

Yes, I know... I did cut the last 10 minutes of the ending out. You'll have to watch my YouTube Let's Play of the game to see the rest.

It's in Ep. 290.

For those unconcerned with spoilers... scroll down a bit and I'll tell you what happens...

for people who want to avoid spoilers, stop here, though you've already gotten quite a few so far. :P

The Best/Good Ending of the game has these things which happened to the characters:

After going into the portal and sealing off The White Frost, ending the plague and preventing it from destroying the planet, Ciri returns to White Orchard, with Geralt, Yennefer, Dandelion, and Zoltan.

Dandelion announces that Priscilla (a primary character who was nearly murdered by a serial killer, earlier in the game) has recovered, and they are to wed.

Zoltan is returning home to see his family at long last.

Ciri has returned to Visima for her coronation as Empress.

Geralt and Yen have bought a vineyard together in Toussaint.

Ciri now lives in Toussaint with her adopted parents Yennefer and Geralt, and will return to Vizima as empress upon her biological father's death.

Keira Mertz has given up sorcery and become a doctor after discovering the cure she had set out to find in the Tower of Mice quest. She has Witcher Lambert at her side and wedding bells are presumably in their future.

Eskiel, traumatized by Vesemir's death has given up being a Witcher and left to parts unknown.

The Bloody Baron is still alive and has found his wife. She has been freed of her curse, but suffered ill side effects and so he has left Velen and taken her with him, hoping traveling to better places will help cure her.

Two of the 3 Crones are now dead. Whispress, escaped and has not been seen again.

Ceryse rules as the first female King of Skellige.

Hjalmar now leads a fleet of longboats against the Nilfgaardian army, but without Viggi at his side, as Viggi died in the Battle of Kaer Morhen. 

Though we saved Triss Merigold and the mages from the Witch Hunters, we did so at a great price. King Radovid sent his army to the Elven village of the Scio'tal on the banks of Novigrad and burnt it to the ground with the Elven families locked inside. The Elves who escaped were burned at the stake, their bodies now hung on the front gates of the city, to warn Elves to not enter.

Thankfully, King Radovid is now dead, though his followers are trying to find out who it was who assassinated him in retaliation of his massacre of the Elves. 

Thaler, Roche, and Ves killed Diskia and are now living in Nilfgaard, which is a free country once again, now that King Radovid is dead.

Emperor Emhyr var Emreis has pardoned all the mages, sorceresses, and Elves, who are now free to live without persecution from Radovid's Witch Hunters.

Sarah and Johnny are now living together in Velen.

Whoreson Junior got what was coming to him and is now penniless and living in the gutters.

Olgard was released of his curse, his brother's ghost set free, his wife's ghost set free, the demon dog and cat set free, and Gaunter o'Dimm Merchant of Mirrors has been banished back to the hell dimension from which he came.

Avallac'h and all his cultish followers of half-naked women, have simply vanished from the game... his houses and labs, now all abandoned, presumably the mysterious masked Elf has returned Aen Elle, to wait for Ciri to marry and have children, so he can start his obsession with raising a Child of the Elder Blood all over again...

And there you have it, the Best/Good Ending of Witcher 3 and what became of each character as a result of it.

And now I'm off to to rewrite it, so Ciri and Avallac'h stay together.


Need more Avallac'h?
There's more pages coming.
Just like I did for my Lord Sesshomaru CosPlay,
I'll be cataloguing the entire process of making this costume.

You knew if I was CosPlaying him, I wouldn't stop with just one page about him...

  1. The Avallac'h CosPlay: Who is Avallac'h?
  2. Obsession: Meet Avallac'h
  3. Historical Accuracy vs Avallac'h
  4. The Avallac'h CosPlay Costume Making Vlogs
  5. How To Make The Avallac'h CosPlay
  6. How Much Did It Cost? Budgeting The Avallac'h CosPlay
  7. Why do children CosPlay rapists & rape victims? & WHY Avallac'h is a M18+ character. 
  8. PortConMaine 2018

And an inside look at being a disabled CosPlayer in a world of inconsiderate people who park non-handicapped cars in handicapped spots, use handicapped bathroom stalls as costume changing stations, and get rowdy in crowded hallways... I was one of 3 disabled CosPlayers at PortCon 2017 who got injured during the event, let's see to it these sorts of things don't happen next year:

  1. On Being a Handicapped CosPlayer: A Look At Events of PortConMaine 2017 That Resulted In 3 Disabled CosPlayers GettinG hurt at The Convention and How These Things Could Have Been Avoided

You know, I think I actually like Avallac'h more then Lord Sesshomaru. I know. Shock. Gasp. Horror. The Bride of Sesshomaru has found someone she likes more than Sesshy. Of course the advantage of obsessing over fictional men, is you don't have to pick one over the other, you can have them all... and the only thing better than one demonic psycho Elf is two demonic psycho Elves. I should start writing Avallac'h x Sesshy Yaoi Fanfiction. Yes, my mind went there.

I'm not obsessed. Noooo. Just like Lord Sesshomaru is soooo definitely not obsessed with Rin, and Avallac'h is most certainly not obsessed with Ciri. 


Lord Sesshomaru: Movie, Animie, Managa
Avallac'h with Ciri
Sesshomaru with Rin

I'll see if I can find my old Lord Sesshomaru CosPlay Making Articles and Get Them Back Online For You... I'll link them here as they go up...

Ads by Amazon