EelKat Wendy C Allen - Dark Fantasy Author

#UPDATE: January 6, 2021:
To all of you who are sending me video clips this morning and asking "Is this your family?"...


To answer your questions...


* Yes... my relatives ARE on every news station in every country of the world today, yes they did ORGANIZE the attack on the Capitol Building... and I am horrified by it.


* No, before you guys sent me the video footage clips, I was unaware the attack had happened, I do not own a TV and do not seek out news reports on the internet, so had you not sent me those clips I would never have known the attack had happened at all


* Yes, many members of my extended-family were involved in organizing the attack on Washington D.C.; one of my aunts claims to be the organizer, she is now wanted by the FBI for questioning


* Yes, I can see 1 uncle, 2 aunts, and 23 1st cousins in those pictures and news reports.


* Yes, the shooter is the high priest cousin you saw posting gun photos and death threats on my FaceBook, Twitter, and Twitch chat


* Yes, that is the 2 cousins who founded the group "The Loyalist White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan More Loyal Than The Loyal White Knights", in the gif/memes trashing reporter cameras and jumping on said cameras 


* YES, that IS the uncle who was paying the Discord tittie streamer $500 a month to stage the "deserve to be raped raids" on my Twitch channel 


* Yes, that uncle, 2 aunts, and 23 cousins ARE all members of Heaven's Gate and were party to the original UFO cult kool-aid murder suicide that killed 39 people in 1997


* No, I do not support anything they do or have done; it's been more than 30 years since I last saw, talked to, or interacted with any of them


#And please, stop forwarding video footage and news reports to me. I want nothing to do with those jackasses. We share DNA, not ideologies. They absolutely disgust me.


* If you were there, please be aware that 4 of them are now bragging on their social medias that they currently have Covid-19 and that they were spitting on police and government officials during the attack on the Capitol Building; yes it is confirmed they DO actually have Covid-19... 9 members of their immediate family have died in the past month and is what instigated them to join the mob at D.C.


* Yes, all of them are wanted by the FBI... if you have any information about ANY of their crimes INCLUDING today's attack on Washington D.C., do NOT send it to me, send it to the FBI agent in charge of the case: 


#FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the investigation. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322


This whole thing is very distressing for me. I do not like the kind of attention that gets put on ME because I happen to be related to THEM.

Far too many people harass my family, online and offline, because of these dipshits in our rather distant family tree.

I prefer to stay out of the public eye and deeply dislike being pulled into the paparazzi spotlight every time this group of lunatics pulls one of these ridiculous terrorist attack stunts.


It was very distressing for me to wake up this morning to find email, and every contact method on every social media, packs full of thousands of questions, links, and forwards, all asking me if that was my family that was being plastered across every news station on the planet.


It was bad enough to learn a terrorist attack had happened and it was even worse to learn it was yet again my uncles behind it.


Though I can not say I'm surprised to learn these jackass dipshits I have to share DNA with were involved. This certainly isn't the first terrorist attack they took part in.


Considering this 1 uncle, 2 aunts, & 23 cousins, all who took part in Heaven's Gate murder of 39 people in 1997, 1 of whom built the bomb for 2013's Boston Marathon, and 2 of whom founded the Loyalist White Knights... were involved in this attack too... I hope they get life in prison, they fucking deserve it.

.......

#UPDATE: January 9, 2020....


Good news, one of them was just arrested in Florida. He's the guy all over Twitter today, waving to security cameras while stealing Nancy Pelosi's lecture pedestal. My relatives are insane. I hope he never gets out.


At least he can't post death threats and rape threats in my Twitch chat anymore. I hope they arrest them all.


Why do I have to share DNA with these psychotic lunatics?


You can support your political party without being a violent, crazed, psychopathic terroist, you know.


#And random thought...


You know... all the people saying Trump supporters should stop inciting violence and go read their Bible, clearly have never read the Bible and have no clue how much violence and genocide God commands in the Old Testament... shouldn't it be the Trumpies need LESS Bible influence? Isn't it the Bible that inspired them to be violent in the first place?


And you want to know something else...


26 of those people now arrested for attacking the Capitol, had ALREADY been reported, in October 2019, for planning an attack on the government...

I know beause I filed that report on 3 uncles, 2 auns, and 23 cousins when they started building bombs and bought 4,000 asult rifles, while claiming they were building an army.

This attack was a long time in the planning and couldhave been prevented and the FBI knew about it 2 years ago.


But hey... guess what... the FBI knew about the Heaven's Gate murder 8 MONTHS before those same 26 people murdered 39 people under the shadow of Hale-Bop... AND the FBI knew in 2012, 5 months ahead of time that these same 26 people were building bombs for the Boston Marathon.


Same 26 people over and over again. This time some of them actually got caught... but the Heaven's Gate crew, has 4,000 members in Maine, Florida, Mississippi, Wyomin, Colorado, and Nova Scotia.


They are gaining members all the time. They claim they are building God's army, they claim Trump is "the God-King" God's form on earth, they also believe he is a shapeshifting reptilian alien, and they claim to be waiting for a mothership that will fly in the shadow of Comet Wormwood.


They claim "when the Trump of jubilie sounds" they will be ready to kill all who oppose them, because they believe they are God's Army and they do not fear death, for they also believe that through death, they "will be changed in the twinkling of an eye" and transformed into mighty arch angels to enact vengange of all who oppose them.


They embrace death, to the point, like they did in 1997, they will kill themselves if they have to, and take everyone around them with them.


Heaven's Gate should be feared and they should be in prison, not building gallows on the front law of the Capitaol building while trying to hang the Vice President.


How many decades will Heaven's Gate's members be allowed to kill and main unbridled? They are terrorists and NEED to be arrested and put in prison, BEFORE they do what they are planning and unleash a bomb that will kill every one "East of the Mississippi" as they put it.


My uncle David is dangerous, and now with his brother Bruce, leader of Heaven's Gate since 1997, dead from Covid19, David's crew has become far more dangerous than they ever were.


This attack they staged on the Capitol, it's not the end, it was just them firing a warning shot of something far bigger yet to come.


They need to be stopped BEFORE they kill more people.


How many times will this same group be allowed to kill over and over again, before someone stops them?


.......


1 uncle, 2 aunts, & 23 cousins were there; they are the leaders of Heaven's Gate AND the Loyalist White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan; they have 4,000 members armed with assault rifles, ready to march on command, and that's JUST the group in Palmyra, Maine - they NEED to be stopped... this post they made on Twitter is NOT a joke... they WILL march Jan 19... they MUST be stopped... Jan 6 was just a warning shot


https://twitter.com/profmath56/status/1347582047485906945?s=20




UPDATE: January 14, 2021
I received a deeply troubling question today... let's answer it...

I received a deeply troubling question today... let's answer it...


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*if someone asks me to do something in exchange for a donation...? I stream, and today someone I've never seen before sent me a message on discord asking me if I want [insert ridiculous amount of money here]. I of course replied asking what for, and the guy replies saying 'complete 25 challenges, for example #1 would be pulling a funny face. If you complete all 25 challenges then I donate the money.' Oh, and he also sent me screenshots of what I assume is supposed to be proof that he's dono'd tons of money to others before. This seems sus AF to me. Should I just assume it's fake / he'll ask me to do something weird? What do?*


................


You've heard of the recent attacks on the American Capitol, right?

Have you NOT also heard about the 26 Twitch streamers who have found their name's on the FBI's no fly list even though they live in Europe and have never been to America?

Have you looked at today's day January 14 vs the date of the next 2 planned attacks, January 17 and January 20?

I doubt you'd ask this question if you HAD heard of what happened, so let me me summarize:

A group of terrorists spent several months planning an attack on Washington D.C. They took to intermingling with election rallies, so no one would suspect them. 

Meanwhile, online, they sought out a way to make 26 fake IDs for their group to use on attack day (January 6).

They ended up contacting 26 Twitch streamers the genders and approximate ages of the 26 people they had in their group going to D.C. 

Each streamer was sent an offer for being donated $500 in exchange for doing things. The streamers thought it seemed innocent enough and was easy money, so did it.

The reason for the $500 amount, was PayPal requires additional verification on large amounts, meaning, they were given the REAL NAMES AND HOME ADDRESSES of those 26 streamers. They next took those names and made 26 fake IDs using the names and addresses of those 26 streamers.

They used those fake IDs January 6 at D.C. and now as of Jan 7, those 26 streamers found their names on the FBI's no-fly list.

Those 26 terrorists, tossed the fake IDs and used their real IDs to leave D.C. and made their way back to Florida, Mississippi, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Maine, successfully returning home, while hundreds of other rally attendants found themselves unable to get on planes.

Given what those 26 did just before Jan 6, I would question anyone asking something similar to any streamer, right now, this close to Jan 17.

I highly recommend you report them to the FBI as possibly connected to the Jan 17 attack. **[https://tips.fbi.gov/](https://tips.fbi.gov/)**

The 26 people in question by the way... my uncle David, his wife Luci, his sister Barbie Jean, and 23 of their children, grandchildren, and great grand children... only one of whom so far has been arrested... the one who stole Nancy Pelosi's pulpit. On their way home to Palmyra, the rest showed up in my driveway January 11, to chant "All hail God King Trump" while bragging how they didn't get caught and outwitted the FBI and are going back to D.C. on Jan 17 and Jan 20.

Chances are VERY HIGH that the man contacting you was David's son Shem, who is the one who contacted the others prior to the Jan 6 attack, or so he bragged on Jan 11, while shooting off his rifils in my driveway, from a red 1980s vintage Jeep Cherokee.

Beware of the Atwaters, the Halls, the Cyrs, and the Johnsons... they ain't sending you money unless they are planning on using you to take the fall for some crime they plan to commit and blame on you. You'll go to jail and they'll walk free, like they always do, like they've been doing since the 1950s.

... ..............................
..UPDATE: January 14, 2021...
..............................
...MODS TAKE NOTICE!...
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...NEW BAN RULES ADDED TO THE CHANNEL... ..............................
...From today forward ALL USERNAMES ending in "Chan" are to be banned on sight...
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...I do not want any member of the 4Chan, 7Chan, Anon, QAnon or any similar terrorist organizations near my channel...
.............................. 
...BAN THEM ALL!...

#As of this discovery a new policy is now in place on my channel.. all mods are to **IMMEDIATELY BAN** anyone and everyone they see with the word "Chan" at the end of their name, wither that user has ever visited my channel or not.

I want my mods to take ANY user they see on ANY channel ANYWHERE on Twitch to just ban those usernames from my channel as soon as they see them.

#From today forwards ALL USERNAMES ending in "Chan" are to be banned on sight.

#I do not want any member of this terrorist organization near my channel.

#The Chans are horrible people and I want nothing to do with any of them.

#Anyone found to be a supporter of ANY Chan is to be banned from my channel, even if they do not have "Chan" at the end of their username.

The "Chan" movement... OMG! They are fucking psychotic extremists. I had no clue what "Chan" meant or why people put it at the end of their username. Knowing what I know now and looking at the fact that the ringleader behind the 3 year long attack on my Twitch channel has the word "Chan" at the end of her username, the wild sex rumors she spreads about me FINALLY make sense.

Today one of my mods sent me the following message:

*"I noticed the girl trying to cancel you has "Chan" at the end of her username, as do many of her followers. I also noticed your confusion over her attacks and I wonder, do you know what "chan" means or why streamers put it at the end of their username? Everyone who has "Chan" at the end of their username is a witch hunting channel, it is how they identify themselves. It means they are extremist radical trolls from 4chan. There is even a wiki devoted to the "Chan Movement". Here, you'll want to read this. **[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan)** and this **[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Chanology](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Chanology)**Twitter has started to ban anyone using "chan" at the end of their username because is identifies the user as connected with white supremacy hate groups. She's a QAnon terrorist and proud of it, that's why she has "chan" at the end of her name. That's why she is working with your uncles. She helped them plan the attack on the Capitol. She's a QAnon member. That's why she has the word "chan" at the end of her username. Every QAnon member does that. I didn't realize you had never heard of QAnon or 4Chan until I saw your Tweet last night. I'm s sorry. I thought you knew that is what she was. I would have messaged you sooner about this if I had known you didn't know what QAnon was. Also "Thingy" is a slang word, it means "a child's vagina" people put that in their username to signify they are supporters of child rape. These are really bad people attacking your channel. They are the same people who just attacked America's Capital. When they are chanting "ThingyChan" in your chat, it's a QAnon secret code word, it's another word for rape, it's a rape threat, it's them bypassing the NightBot ban of the word rape. It means they are threatening to gather up 4Chan members to rape you. 4Chan QAnon's use secret code words to bypass chat bans because they know most people don't know what the code words mean. It's like a Morse Code that only they know."*


Here is what the Wiki has to say:

>>>>*"4chan is an anonymous English-language imageboard website. Launched by Christopher "moot" Poole in October 2003, the site hosts boards dedicated to a wide variety of topics, from anime and manga to video games, music, literature, fitness, politics, and sports, among others. Registration is not available and users typically post anonymously; posting is ephemeral, as threads receiving recent replies are "bumped" to the top of their respective board and old threads are deleted as new ones are created. As of November 2020, 4chan receives more than 20 million unique monthly visitors, with more than 900,000 posts made daily."*

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>>>>*"The site has been described as a hub of Internet subculture, with its community being influential in the formation of prominent Internet memes, such as lolcats, Rickrolling, and rage comics, as well as hacktivist and political movements, such as Anonymous and the alt-right. 4chan has often been the subject of media attention as a source of controversies, including the coordination of pranks and harassment against websites and Internet users, and the posting of illegal and offensive content. The Guardian once summarized the 4chan community as "lunatic, juvenile ... brilliant, ridiculous and alarming""*

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>>>>*"Before the end of 2003, several new anime-related boards were added, including /h/ (Hentai), /c/ (Anime/Cute), /d/ (Hentai/Alternative), /w/ (Wallpapers/Anime), /y/ (Yaoi), and /a/ (Anime). Additionally, a lolicon board was created at /l/ (Lolikon),[26] but was disabled following the posting of genuine child pornography and ultimately deleted in October 2004, after threats of legal action."*

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>>>>*"On November 17, 2018, it was announced that the site would be split into two, with the work-safe boards moved to a new domain, 4channel.org, while the NSFW boards would remain on the 4chan.org domain. In a series of posts on the topic, Nishimura explained that the split was due to 4chan being blacklisted by most advertising companies, and that the new 4channel domain would allow for the site to receive advertisements by mainstream ad providers."*

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>>>>*"/pol/ ("Politically Incorrect") is 4chan's political discussion board. A stickied thread on its front page states that the board's intended purpose is "discussion of news, world events, political issues, and other related topics." /pol/ was created in October 2011 as a rebranding of 4chan's news board, /new/, which was deleted that January for a high volume of racist discussion."*

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>>>>*"Although there had previously been a strong left-libertarian contingent to 4chan activists, there was a gradual rightward turn on 4chan's politics board in the early-mid 2010s. The board quickly attracted posters with a political persuasion that later would be described with a new term, the alt-right. Media sources have characterized /pol/ as predominantly racist and sexist, with many of its posts taking an explicitly neo-Nazi bent. The Southern Poverty Law Center regards /pol/'s rhetorical style as widely emulated by white supremacist websites such as The Daily Stormer; the Stormer's editor, Andrew Anglin, concurred. /pol/ was where screenshots of Trayvon Martin's hacked social media accounts were initially posted. The board's users have started antifeminist, homophobic, transphobic, and anti-Arab Twitter campaigns."*

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>>>>*"The users of /r9k/ built upon by then popular 4chan memes "epic win" and "fail" to group the human population into "alphas" or stereotypical well-adjusted popular people and "betas" or stereotypical geek-ish social rejects, self-identifying with the latter. It became a popular gathering place for the controversial online incel community. The "beta uprising" or "beta rebellion" meme, the idea of taking revenge against women, jocks and others perceived as the cause of incels' problems, was popularized on the sub-section. It gained more traction on the forum following the Umpqua Community College shooting, where it is believed that the shooter, Chris Harper-Mercer, also warned people not to go to school in the Northwest hours prior to the shooting as users encouraged him. The perpetrator of the Toronto van attack referenced 4chan and an incel rebellion in a Facebook post he made prior to the attack while praising self-identified incel Elliot Rodger, the killer behind the 2014 Isla Vista killings. He claims to have talked with both Harper-Mercer and Rodger on Reddit and 4chan and believes that he was part of a "beta uprising", also posting a message on 4chan about his intention the day before his attack."*

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>>>>*"Anonymous originated in 2003 on the imageboard 4chan representing the concept of many online and offline community users simultaneously existing as an anarchic, digitized global brain. Anonymous members (known as Anons or QAnons) can be distinguished in public by the wearing of Guy Fawkes masks in the style portrayed in the graphic novel and film V for Vendetta. However, this may not always be the case as some of the collective prefer to instead cover their face without using the well-known mask as a disguise. Some anons also opt to mask their voices through voice changers or text-to-speech programs."*

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>>>>*"On January 19, 2012, the U.S. Department of Justice shut down the file-sharing site Megaupload on allegations of copyright infringement. Anons responded with a wave of DDoS attacks on U.S. government and copyright organizations, shutting down the sites for the RIAA, MPAA, Broadcast Music, Inc., and the FBI."*

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>>>>*"In the wake of the fatal police shooting of unarmed African-American Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri, "Operation Ferguson"—a hacktivist organization that claimed to be associated with Anonymous—organized cyberprotests against police, setting up a website and a Twitter account to do so. The group promised that if any protesters were harassed or harmed, they would attack the city's servers and computers, taking them offline. City officials said that e-mail systems were targeted and phones died, while the Internet crashed at the City Hall."*

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>>>>*"In March 2016, Anonymous was reported to have declared war on Donald Trump. However, the "Anonymous Official" YouTube channel released a video denouncing #OpTrump as an operation that "goes against everything Anonymous stands for" in reference to censorship and added "we are for everyone letting their voices be heard, even, if the person at hand ... is a monster.""*

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>>>>*"In late 2017, QAnon, a pro-Trump group claiming to be the "real" Anonymous, first emerged on 4chan. In response, anti-Trump members of Anonymous warned that QAnon was stealing the collective's branding."*

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>>>>*"Since 2009, dozens of people have been arrested for involvement in Anonymous cyberattacks, in countries including the U.S., UK, Australia, the Netherlands, Spain, and Turkey. Anons generally protest these prosecutions and describe these individuals as martyrs to the movement. The July 2011 arrest of LulzSec member Topiary became a particular rallying point, leading to a widespread "Free Topiary" movement."*

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>>>>*"QAnon is a disproven and discredited far-right conspiracy theory alleging that a cabal of Satan-worshipping cannibalistic pedophiles is running a global child sex-trafficking ring and plotting against U.S. president Donald Trump, who is fighting the cabal. QAnon also commonly asserts that Trump is planning a day of reckoning known as the "Storm", when thousands of members of the cabal will be arrested. The conspiracy claim is entirely fictitious. QAnon supporters have accused many liberal Hollywood actors, Democratic politicians, and high-ranking government officials of being members of the cabal. They have also claimed that Trump feigned conspiracy with Russians to enlist Robert Mueller to join him in exposing the sex trafficking ring and preventing a coup d'état by Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and George Soros. The QAnon conspiracy theories have been amplified by Russian state-backed troll accounts on social media, as well as Russian state-backed traditional media."*

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>>>>*"Although preceded by similar viral conspiracy theories such as Pizzagate,[23][24] which has since become part of QAnon, the conspiracy theory began with an October 2017 post on the anonymous imageboard 4chan by "Q", who was presumably an American individual;[25] it is now more likely that "Q" has become a group of people acting under the same name. A stylometric analysis of Q posts claims to have uncovered that at least two people wrote as "Q" in different periods. Q claimed to be a high-level government official with Q clearance, who has access to classified information involving the Trump administration and its opponents in the United States. NBC News reported that three people took the original Q post and spread it across multiple media platforms to build an Internet following for profit. QAnon was preceded by several similar anonymous 4chan posters, such as FBIAnon, HLIAnon (High-Level Insider), CIAAnon, and WH Insider Anon. Although American in origin, there is now a considerable QAnon movement outside of the United States, particularly in Europe."*

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>>>>*"QAnon adherents began appearing at Trump reelection campaign rallies in August 2018. Bill Mitchell, a broadcaster who has promoted QAnon, attended a White House "social media summit" in July 2019. QAnon believers commonly tag their social media posts with the hashtag #WWG1WGA, signifying the motto "Where We Go One, We Go All". At an August 2019 rally, a man warming up the crowd used the QAnon motto, later denying that it was a QAnon reference. This occurred hours after the FBI published a report calling QAnon a potential source of domestic terrorism—the first time the agency had so rated a fringe conspiracy theory. According to analysis by Media Matters for America, as of October 2020, Trump had amplified QAnon messaging at least 265 times by retweeting or mentioning 152 Twitter accounts affiliated with QAnon, sometimes multiple times a day. QAnon followers came to refer to Trump as "Q+""*

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>>>>*"The number of QAnon adherents is unclear as of October 2020, but the group maintains a large online following. In June 2020, Q exhorted followers to take a "digital soldiers oath", and many did, using the Twitter hashtag #TakeTheOath.[42] In July 2020, Twitter banned thousands of QAnon-affiliated accounts and changed its algorithms to reduce the conspiracy theory's spread.[43] A Facebook internal analysis reported in August found millions of followers across thousands of groups and pages; Facebook acted later that month to remove and restrict QAnon activity,[44][45] and in October it said it would ban the conspiracy theory from its platform altogether. Followers had also migrated to dedicated message boards such as EndChan and 8chan (now rebranded as "8kun"), where they organized to wage information warfare in an attempt to influence the 2020 United States presidential election.[47] Following Trump's loss to Joe Biden in the election, QAnon beliefs became a part of attempts to overturn the results and Trump's loss, culminating in the storming of the United States Capitol, leading to a further crackdown on QAnon-affiliated content on social media."*

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>>>>*"Anonymous is a decentralized international activist/hacktivist collective/movement that is widely known for its various cyber attacks against several governments, government institutions and government agencies, corporations, and the Church of Scientology."*

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>>>>*"Project Chanology (also called Operation Chanology) was a protest movement against the practices of the Church of Scientology by members of Anonymous, a leaderless Internet-based group. The project was started in response to the Church of Scientology's attempts to remove material from a highly publicized interview with Scientologist Tom Cruise from the Internet in January 2008."*

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>>>>*"The project was publicly launched in the form of a video posted to YouTube, "Message to Scientology", on January 21, 2008. The video states that Anonymous views Scientology's actions as Internet censorship, and asserts the group's intent to "expel the church from the Internet". This was followed by distributed denial-of-service attacks (DDoS), and soon after, black faxes, prank calls, and other measures intended to disrupt the Church of Scientology's operations. In February 2008, the focus of the protest shifted to legal methods, including nonviolent protests and an attempt to get the Internal Revenue Service to investigate the Church of Scientology's tax-exempt status in the United States."*

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>>>>*"Reactions from the Church of Scientology regarding the protesters' actions have varied. Initially, one spokesperson stated that members of the group "have got some wrong information" about Scientology. Another referred to the group as a group of "computer geeks". Later, the Church of Scientology started referring to Anonymous as "cyberterrorists" perpetrating "religious hate crimes" against the church."*

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>>>>*"Members of Project Chanology say their main goal is "to enlighten the Church of Scientology (CoS) by any means necessary.""*

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>>>>*"Project Chanology began its campaign by organizing and delivering a series of denial-of-service attacks against Scientology websites and flooding Scientology centers with prank calls and black faxes. The group was successful in taking down local and global Scientology websites intermittently from January 18, 2008 until at least January 25, 2008."*

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>>>>*"Protesters in Boston, Los Angeles, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Edinburgh, London, and other cities worldwide, wore Guy Fawkes masks modeled after the 2005 film V for Vendetta. Guy Fawkes was an English Catholic executed for a 1605 attempt to destroy the House of Lords. In V for Vendetta, a rebel against a near-future fascist regime uses the mask in his public appearances and distributes many of its copies to the population to enable mass protests."*

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>>>>*"According to The Washington Post, "the site's users have managed to pull off some of the highest-profile collective actions in the history of the Internet."*

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>>>>*"Users of 4chan and other websites "raided" Hal Turner by launching DDoS attacks and prank calling his phone-in radio show during December 2006 and January 2007. The attacks caused Turner's website to go offline. This cost thousands of dollars of bandwidth bills according to Turner. In response, Turner sued 4chan, 7chan, and other websites; however, he lost his plea for an injunction and failed to receive letters from the court."*

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>>>>*"KTTV Fox 11 aired a report on Anonymous, calling them a group of "hackers on steroids", "domestic terrorists", and collectively an "Internet hate machine" on July 26, 2007.[137] Slashdot founder Rob Malda posted a comment made by another Slashdot user, Miang, stating that the story focused mainly on users of "4chan, 7chan and 420chan". Miang claimed that the report "seems to confuse /b/ raids and motivational poster templates with a genuine threat to the American public", arguing that the "unrelated" footage of a van exploding shown in the report was to "equate anonymous posting with domestic terror"."*

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>>>>*"In May 2009, members of the site attacked YouTube, posting pornographic videos on the site. A 4chan member acknowledged being part of the attack, telling BBC News that it was in response to YouTube "deleting music"."*

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>>>>*"On October 18, 2006, the Department of Homeland Security warned National Football League officials in Miami, New York City, Atlanta, Seattle, Houston, Oakland, and Cleveland about a possible threat involving the simultaneous use of dirty bombs at stadiums. The threat claimed that the attack would be carried out on October 22, the final day of the Muslim holy month of Ramadan."*

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>>>>*"On November 29, 2010, Ali Saad, a 19-year-old, was arrested and had his home raided by the FBI for posting child pornography and death threats on 4chan. Ali had first visited 4chan "a week before [the FBI raid] happened". He admitted to downloading about 25 child pornography images from 4chan."*

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>>>>*"Collin Campbell, a U.S. Navy Machinist's Mate, was arrested in February 2011 after a fellow seaman found child pornography on his iPhone that he downloaded entirely from 4chan."*

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>>>>*"In January 2011, Matthew Riskin Bean, a 20-year-old man from New Jersey, was sentenced to 45 days in prison for cyberbullying on 4chan."*

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>>>>*"According to court documents filed on November 5, 2014, there were images posted to 4chan that appeared to be of a murder victim. The body was discovered in Port Orchard, Washington, after the images were posted. The posts were accompanied by the text: "Turns out it's way harder to strangle someone to death than it looks on the movies." A later post said: "Check the news for Port Orchard, Washington, in a few hours. Her son will be home from school soon. He'll find her, then call the cops. I just wanted to share the pics before they find me." The victim was Amber Lynn Coplin, aged 30. The suspect, 33-year-old David Michael Kalac, surrendered to police in Oregon later the same day; he was charged with second-degree murder involving domestic violence. Kalac was convicted in April 2017 and was sentenced to 82 years in prison the following month."*

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>>>>*"On July 14, 2019, 17-year-old Bianca Devins was murdered by 21-year-old Brandon Clark of Utica, New York after the two went to a concert together. The suspect took pictures of the victim's bloodied deceased body and posted it to Discord and his own Instagram page. The photos were widely shared on Instagram and other sites, particularly on 4chan where many users mocked and celebrated her death, saying she deserved it and praising the killer while depicting Devins as a manipulative young woman. Devins had developed a small following online and was a 4chan user herself."*

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>>>>*"Although preceded by similar viral conspiracy theories such as Pizzagate,[23][24] which has since become part of QAnon, the conspiracy theory began with an October 2017 post on the anonymous imageboard 4chan by "Q", who was presumably an American individual;[25] it is now more likely that "Q" has become a group of people acting under the same name.[26][27] A stylometric analysis of Q posts claims to have uncovered that at least two people wrote as "Q" in different periods.[28][29] Q claimed to be a high-level government official with Q clearance, who has access to classified information involving the Trump administration and its opponents in the United States.[30] NBC News reported that three people took the original Q post and spread it across multiple media platforms to build an Internet following for profit. QAnon was preceded by several similar anonymous 4chan posters, such as FBIAnon, HLIAnon (High-Level Insider), CIAAnon, and WH Insider Anon.[31] Although American in origin, there is now a considerable QAnon movement outside of the United States, particularly in Europe."*

.

.




Those are just a few highlights of what the Wiki has to say about the Chan Movement and why so many users on Twitch and Twitter tac the word "chan" to the end of their username.


If you want to read the full aticle to find out all the horrors of this horrendouse group of terrorists, here is the link:


* **[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan)**

* **[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Chanology](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Chanology)**

* **[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QAnon](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QAnon)**


As of this discovery a new policy is now in place on my channel.. all mods are to **IMMEDIATLY BAN** any one and everyone they see with the word "Chan" at the end of their name, wither that user has ever visited my channel or not.


I want my mods to take ANY user they see on ANY channel ANYWHERE on Twitch to just ban those usernames from my channel as soon as they see them.


#From today forwards ALL USERNAMES ending in "Chan" are to be banned on sight.


#I do not want any member of this terrorist orgination near my channel.


#The Chans are horrible people and I want nothing to do with any of them.


#Anyone found to be a supporter of ANY Chan is to be banned from my channel, even if they do not have "Chan" at the end of their username.


On a side note... do you remember in June 2016 when a group of crazy protestors showed up in my driveway chanting that my family was "Satan worshiping pedophile cannibals of the Scottish Mafia"? Well, it says on that Wiki:


>>>>*"QAnon is a disproven and discredited far-right conspiracy theory alleging that a cabal of Satan-worshipping cannibalistic pedophiles is running a global child sex-trafficking ring and plotting against U.S. president Donald Trump, who is fighting the cabal."*

.

.


Does that me those people in my driveway that day were QAnon members?


Scary... that group included 2 Mormon Bishops, the Old Orchard Beach Town Manager, several motel owners from Old Orchard Beach, an excavation owner in Old Orchard Beach, and 2 Old Orchard Beach Town councillors... uhm... does that mean Old Orchard Beach is infested with QAnon members?


I think I am finally starting to understand the weird accusations that get tossed at me and my family... like being called "Scottish Mafia" when we are not, and being called a "BDSM Dominatrix" when I am not, and being called a "Satan Worshiper" when I am not, or being called "pedophiles' or "cannibals" when we are not.


I never understood these accusations or what the possible source could have been, but I had never heard of QAnon until 2 days ago when Twitter announced they banned 70,000 QAnon members off Twitter, following the terrorist attack in Washington D.C. earlier this week. 


The Tweet my mod was referencing, was a Tweet where I asked "What is QAnon? I never heard of it before."


Okay, so now understand WHERE they got the accusations from, they apparently say those things about everyone. But the question still stands: Why me? Why my family? Why my Twitch channel? How did I become a target for members of such bizarre, psychotically deraged terroist group? 


Also... it says QAnon started in October 2017... but those people who were in my yard, the first time they showed up was April 10, 2015, and they arrived again May 14, 2015, June 12, 2015, September 12, 2015, and each time they showed up the group was bigger. They continued to show up throughout 2016.


Each group was lead by a masked man who always kept his face hidden. The group members called him "Mark" and "Mark Who Needs No Last Name"... he was a tiny elderly man about 5'9" very skinny, and had unkept white hair. He always arrived driving a backhoe, which is the same backhoe that drove over my house August 8, 2013. He was the one seen shooting at me and my family in several livestreams. He was prone to showing up while I was livestreaming... I think he used my livestream schedual to determine if I was home, and I also think he was trying to "get his 15 minutes of fame" because he was always trying to get himself and his rifales on my webcams.


All of it was recorded via those livestreams *(yes, this is why several Witcher 3 VODs are not available for you to watch... it's the ones with the terrorist attacks on my family in them.)*, and all the video footage forwarded to local police, who in turn forwarded it to the FBI, and the FBI assigned Agent Andy Drewer to the case June 26, 2016.


All of that was a full 2 years before the October 2017 date in that article.



As of this discovery a new policy is now in place on my channel.. all mods are to **IMMEDIATLY BAN** any one and everyone they see with the word "Chan" at the end of their name, wither that user has ever visited my channel or not.


I want my mods to take ANY user they see on ANY channel ANYWHERE on Twitch to just ban those usernames from my channel as soon as they see them.

#From today forwards ALL USERNAMES ending in "Chan" are to be banned on sight.

#I do not want any member of this terrorist organization near my channel.

#The Chans are horrible people and I want nothing to do with any of them.

#Anyone found to be a supporter of ANY Chan is to be banned from my channel, even if they do not have "Chan" at the end of their username.


#UPDATED to answer this question:

......................

*How is it you have never heard of 4chan or QAnon? I thought you were a dark webber? Everyone always talks about how you know all the darkest deepest sites on the internet. 4chan is like the biggest dark web website ever.*

......................

Uhm... WHO exactly says I know dark web websites and what exactly is a dark webber?

I've been on the internet since 1996, but I build websites, I don't visit websites. In my 25 years on the internet I've probably visited fewer than 100 websites total, if that many. In fact, I can list off the top of my head websites I visit and use:

* Amazon

* Blogger/BlogSpot (as a blog writer, I don't read blogs by others)

* Deviantart (as a blog writer, I don't read/view content by others)

* eBay

* FaceBook

* FanFiction.Net (not visited since 2011)

* LinkedIn (as a blog writer, I don't read blogs by others)

* LiveJournal (as a blog writer, I don't read blogs by others)

* MySpace

* Nexus

* Pinterest


* SoapBox

* Squidoo (ceased to exist 2013)

* Twitch

* Twitter

* WordPress (as a blog writer, I don't read blogs by others)

* YouTube

* Zazzle

Wow... not only didn't reach 100, I didn't even reach 20.

I find it rather laughable that you or ANY ONE would think of me as someone who knows "dark web" web sites.

When exactly do you think I have time to browse the internet to even look for any website at all?

I work 80 to 120 hour weeks. 

I publish 4 novels a year, dozens of short stories a month, 2 to 3 non-fiction articles every day, paint on canvas with acrylic art for **[new merch products](https://www.zazzle.com/store/eelkat)** weekly, write for 12 blogs, and a manage/edit/write for 200 websites **[like this one](https://www.eelkat.com/)** which I built from the ground up and am the ONLY person managing/editing/writing for... AND I'm a retail merchandiser for HallMark travelling hundreds of miles a week to set up displays at WalMarts, CVS, Post Offices, WalGreens, and Khols all over New England. On top of all of that I make YouTube videos AND stream on Twitch.

So, explain to me WHEN you think it is that I have any free time for browsing the internet? 

I don't know who told you I was a "dark webber" or that I would know anything about "dark web" web sites, but, honey... check their username... did it say "Chan" at the end of their name? Yeah... THEY are a "dark webber" who visits "dark web" websites, not me, as can be clearly seen by them putting "Chan" at the end of their username.

You might want to reconsider where you get your information about me, who you get your information about me from, and fact check the source of the information you get about me.



If you could recommend I watch one VOD that best represented your channel, which would it be?

This one....




The Princess Bride predicting Covid-19?

Avallac'h's a Good Tutor?
Of What? How to Better Bed Kings?


EXTREME SPOILER WARNING!

Please be aware that nearly every page on this website contains spoilers to something. I talk about a lot of fandoms, and go into great detail analyzing them when I do. If I am talking about The Witcher series, InuYasha, Disney Ducks, the Quaraun series, or any other fandom, you WILL encounter spoilers about it. 

Avallac'h and Monsters | Pictures from Witcher 3 

All images on this page are from:
The Witcher 3: 
Wild Hunt 
|Game of the Year Edition| 
Completionist Run: 
The Avallac'h Playthrough
(Watch It Live HERE)


Avallac'h and Monsters | Pictures from Witcher 3 - I just felt like uploading pictures of Avallac'h today. This page serves no other purpose.



If This Video Is Active, I'm Live Streaming Right Now...




About This Game Play:

This current mod-making playthrough, is prep for a future fully-lore-friendly playthrough....

The ultimate goal of my mod making playthrough, is to make every character as lore-friendly as possible to how they were described in the novels.

Most specifically though we are transforming as much of the game as possible to match Chapter 5 of the novel Lady of the Lake, when Ciri lived with Avallac'h the first time, on The Lake of Avalon.

This current playthrough is largely a lot of test runs of hundreds of mods. It is being played open world with quests rarely happening, to allow us to run tests of various mods as I build them.

Due to the fact that the game engine, scripts, and other files is often open and being edited while I'm playing the game, this current playthrough is very unstable with bugs and glitches happening  daily and game crashes happening, sometimes as often as every few minutes.

You are witnessing a live overhaul and full rewrite of the game, that when finished will be used in a complete (more normal style) playthrough of the game.

However do not expect to see the lore-friendly playthrough any time soon. 

I began building this overhaul mod May 13, 2018 and have worked on it daily for 4 to 12 hours a day, all of it streamed here on Twitch, and... 

...while we've now altered over 2,000 script files, more than 7,000 textures, several hundred meshes, 400+ xml files, dozens of ini files, and have now begun work on changing 3D models...

...this project is far from finished and could see as much as another 3 years of daily work before completion.

Computer  stats: 

Motherboard: Asus Z170

Processor: i7-7000 @4.20GHz

RAM: 64 GB

Graphics Card: NVirdia 1070 GTX

Capture Card: AVerMedia Live Gamer HD




You don't post in my chat any more. Did I do something wrong?


**NOTE: This also answers the question "What happened to the Dazzling Razzberry? It's been months since I've seen it."**




*You don't post in my chat any more. Did I do something wrong?*

........


You? No. 

Another streamer? Yes. 

And I was so utterly disgusted with it that I simply stopped using Twitch chat. 

April 2018, yes, a month before we started the Avallac'h Playthrough and 5 months before a single Avallac'h screenshot had ever been uploaded to my profile, while I was in the final weeks of the 3rd Geralt Playthrough, a 3D art streamer contacted me.

At the time, I was known around Twitch as the person to contact if you were about to play Witcher 3 and wanted help with anything. Because of her, I no longer do this.

She explained to me that she would soon be taking a vacation to Finland, and had stolen her brother's copy of Witcher 3, made an illegal copy of it, put it on her computer, and when she returned from Finland, she was going to start playing it n stream... and asked would I please lurk in her stream in case she needed help with the game.

I went to her channel the same day she contacted me, and she was making 3D models of a rack, a killing pear, and a Judas chair... medieval torture devices... which she explained to me she hoped to put in Witcher 3 as new game elements. She knew nothing of the Witcher series, she claimed, but had been told it was an easy game to add mods for, and she wanted to add a torture chamber to a game and felt this would be a good game to do it with.

A week later, still in April 2018, she had directly contacted me, said she had returned home from her vacation in Finland, and asked me to visit her stream, and when I did, she asked me a question about how to make mods for Witcher 3, claiming that she wanted to make a "dungeon torture chamber mod" using a set of 3d models of torture devices that she has made in Maya 3D software program, asking how to port such things as torture devices into Witcher 3, because she wanted to make a BDSM mod. I answered the question explaining how to build a mod like this and she, unknown to me, then took a snippet of what I said, took it out of context, and used it to make a meme about Avallac'h calling him a BDSM Fetish freak, while simultaneously calling me a BDSM Dominatrix. She did that August 2018, but I did not find out she did it until October 2019. 

It was what started the Deserve to be Raped raids and why 5 of her followers showed up at my house February 2019, beating up family members, doing $30k damages to my car, $230k damages to our home, hospitalizing 8 people, and raping 2 women.

The rape raids were sending 700 to 2,000 rape raiders to my channel daily. I turned off raids, banned usernames, added more words to autobot and nightbot, and turned on followers only. But they started doing "youtube style" raids once raids were turned off. They started following to by pass follower only, and  when "rape" became a banned word they started getting around it with "r@pe" or "rap3" or "r.a.p.e" etc. And they created new throwaway accounts as fast as me and my 78 mods banned them. At it's worst we were banning more than 2,000 usernames per stream.

Twitch support was not helpful. Their advice was "turn on emote only" while advising that I could get banned if I didn't stay on top of keeping the harassers out of my chat, because it was my responsibility to keep trolls out.

I turned on emote only August 2018.  I turn it off when a stream starts and with 15 to 20 minutes I have to turn it on again... right to this day.

Once someone gets fixated on you, they won't stop, and they'll use their Discord and the power of Twitter's cancel culture to gang up on you and gather huge hoards to help attack. 

I've not been able to have my chat turned on in almost 2 years. It's deeply distressing because, well the primary reason to use Twitch over YouTube IS chat interaction and sexcrazed men harassing female streamers like this is an enormous problem on Twitch.

I'm crippled. Bedridden. Because 3 bastard from that psycho bitch streamer's attack showed up at my house and beat me up with golf clubs and baseball bats. 

I used to do daily 9 hour streams. I'm an elderly senior citizen, for a long time I was the oldest stream on Twitch. I was already crippled from muscle disease, that made it near impossible for me to do anything, so didn't need rape crazed bastards with baseball bats and golf clubs to break my spine, crush my vertebrae, break my hip, and break both legs, and leave me paralyzed in bed for the rest of my life. I'm too weak to sit upright or hold my head up for more then 2 or 3 hours a day, and doing so caused extreme exhaustion with me blacking out for 12 hours or more afterwards. I'm not yet able to get up out of bed or sit up for very long, so it is still difficult for me to stream daily and streams are not very long yet, many have been only 40minutes long. Getting up to 3 hours has been incredibly difficult.

I can barely move my hands, do you have any idea how difficult it is for me to type? And every username has to be typed in to ban them, and with thousands and hour, you literally as a viewer, do absolutely nothing but watch me type ban username for hours on end.... for every single daily stream since August 2018. 

She made 200+ VODs and posted 2,000+ Discord posts calling me a dominatrix, saying I was into bondage, BDSM, and foot fetishes, including to post my home address in her Discord, telling her perverted, immoral, deviated followers to go my house to have sex with me, and some of her followers, did just that, expecting to find me willing to throw myself on them, expecting they could do anything they wanted to me.

Do you know why my family moved February 2019?

Because she and her followers were banned from harassing my chat, she sent her simps to my house, telling them to rape me.

At the time I was staying with my 82 year old disabled dad on his 3rd floor apartment, in a building that had 28 families in it.

To get in the building you have to go through a front entry hall, go through 2 separate sets of doors, and then find your way through the halls and stairways to find which apartment you are looking for.

Because a group of 5 men showed up at 2AM one night. They broke BOTH the 2 front doors off and threw them out into the street.

They made their way up the stairs, punched the glass and screens out of every window they passed on their way.

With baseball bats they smashed up all of the posts on the stair railings, broke the railings off the stairs and threw them out a window onto one of the resident's cars below.

They ripped the front door off the apartment next door to mine, went into that apartment and gang raped the 2 young mothers (sisters) who lived there with their 2 and 4 year old babies.

After that they went back outside, smashing the walls on their way down, pulling out electrical wiring and plumbing pipes as they went.

Once outside they proceeded to trash the 3 cars parked in the driveway, one of them being my Dazzling Razzberry. They used their bats to smash out the glass, and smash up the metal. This is why you've not seen The Dazzling Razzberry since February 2019. The Dazzling Razzberry no longer exists. And you know, it as one of the world's top ten most haunted cars, that's why I bought it December 2006. I still have it and it is being restored. The damages were very extensive and included the wheels being sawed off the axels, the metal bars that hold up the engines and the ones holding up the transmission, were also all sawed off. 

Do you remember the crazy church group lead by the mystery Mark, who sawed up The Golden Eagle, the World's Most Haunted Car, the real Christine that Stephen King based his fictional Christine off of... do you remember how much damage they did to that car May 15, 2010?

Well, this group did even more damage than that to The Dazzling Razzberry. Both cars are very rare antiques and difficult to get parts for. The Dodge, is one of only 5,000 ever made and one of fewer then 100 known to exist today, all parts have to be hand made, there are no parts out there for it, that's why we couldn't restore it, though we do still have it... the Volvo, while rare today, wasn't rare when it was new, and so parts exist for it, if you search far and wide and have enough money to buy them when you find them. The Dazzling Razzberry as such is being restore, but we need so many parts and they are so very expensive, that her we are now 2 years later and my daily driver is still not yet drivable.

They did more than $230,000 in damages to our landlord's building, put 2 women in the hospital, put my 82 year old dad in the hospital with a ruptured kidney, left 1 little 10 year old boy dead, left 28 families homeless, and totaled 3 cars, including my car The Dazzling Razzberry which they did $30,000 in damages to. EVERYBODY in the building had to move because the damages were so bad that the city condemned the building.

#FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the investigation of all of this. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322

My channel went several years with never banning anyone. There was never a need to. Today, because of the deserve to be raped raids, my channel is ban heavy on extreemes ... you step out of line even an inch and you are gone, no warning, no time out, no grace period, no second chances... total zero tolerance for anything now

3 years ago I struggled to ban anyone, felt guilty about doing so; now I ban a dozen or more people every stream without batting an eye.

The deserve to be raped raids started out when she posted that meme she made on DisCord telling her DisCord followers a huge amounts of sex fanfiction lies she had made up about me as though it was actual fact. 800+ of her Discord followers started reposting her lies about me on Twitter, causing a group of radical right-wing, anti-sex extreemists to attack my Twitch channel, my Reddit profile, my Twitter account, and my FaceBook account.

Once she found out how easy it was to instigate people into these violent attacks, she started make 5hr long VODs about me, making up wild stories about my so-called "BDSM Dominatrix" career, with further enraged her DisCord followers, who gathered up even more of their Twitter followers to continue the attack.

Suddenly a mass flood of 300,000 -THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND- extreme radical anti-BDSM radical Christians mass attacked my Twitch channel, my Twitter, my FaceBook, and other places, with thousands of death threats and rape threats.

In total she made 200+ of these fanfiction BDSM fetish freak videos about me, and posted variations of her meme as a running gag in her Discord more than 2,000 times, inciting her followers to pure outrage and extreme levels of both online and offline violence.

I don't use Discord, as Discord is a phone app and I do not own a phone, so I have no way to use things like Discord or Tik-Tok or SnapChat that are phone only apps, and thus do not have accounts with any of those 3 or any other apps like them... I've not had a phone since Old Orchard shut down the switch board operator in 1979... I used to walk to the town hall to use the switchboard to call anyone, and after that was gone I've not access to a phone since... never put a land line in, and when cell phones came out, I never got one... phones, like TVs are very expensive and my income has never been more then $4,000 in any single year of my entire life... a phone service costs more per month than I make in 3 months. I can't afford a phone. So I don't have a DisCord account because I don't have enough money to even buy a phone let alone subscribe to a phone service, plus I'm in Maine, it's not like we have any cell phone towers here... there is no phone service up here unless we set up a satilight dish in own yard... I simple have no way at all to use Discord, because phone are not an option around here even if I did have enough money to buy one... so me not having phone means, me also not having a Discord account which also meant I was unaware of what she was doing and for nearly 2 years was unaware of the source of the deserve to be raped attackers.

As I am an extremist Christian myself (a 5th generation FLDS Mormon) who shuns all things related to sex, I was continually baffled by the steady daily influx of sex accusations, BDSM accusations, fetish freak accusations, and other highly sexual slander that was being accused of me in my Twitch chat.

November 10, 2018, I turned off chat. It returned February 2020 as emote only.

I tried to turn chat back on February 2020, and immediately her rape raid crew showed up. It's why I took a year off from streaming starting February 27, 2020. I not only stopped streaming, but I stopped watching streams as well. I just left Twitch. I got sick of being harassed. 

Now it's 2021 and I've been trying to come back to streaming but, I have post traumatic stress disorder a result of being raped and paralyzed with golf clubs November 14, 2013... and her rape raids have triggered severe PTSD anxiety attacks every time I try to click the "go live" button. 

I've streamed twice since January 1, 2021, and my attempt to return to daily streaming. The anxiety levels of trying to stream is through the roof. Her attacks not only did a lot of damage to my channel numbers (viewers/followers, subs, as her group lashed out at my viewers and followers, sending them death threats if they didn't unfollow and stop watching me) and the physical damage to my home, car, family, and neighbours, it's also done huge amounts of mental and emotional damage, and has set back years of theory, bringing to the surface once again my agoraphobia, I've not left my room in almost 2 years, I sometimes go weeks too scared to get off the bed... I had agoraphobia before because of being raped... and it took a team of psychiatrists and psychologists huge amounts of effort to help me to be able to go outside, and now I'm back to square one and can't go outside again... just too terrified to get near doors or windows... pointing out here, that she knew before she did this, that I had been raped, and that's, another thing she does... all the streamers she attack are rape survivors.

I had hoped taking a year off from streaming, I would able to go back to streaming... I used to stream daily but because of her attacks, it became sporadic, weekly, too scared to click "go live" any more. o I took a year off, hoping, she'd forget about me and leave me alone... I tried to do a test stream December 2020, didn't tell anybody, no announcements, nothing,just a test to see, if I could emotionally go live... I turned off emote only when I did it. 

The stream lasted under 15 minutes, and I turned it off because her followers attacked almost as soon as I had gone live. 

So emote only again, and though I was supposed to return to daily streams Jan 2021, there've only been 2 streams so far because, opening OBS triggers server PTSD anxiety attacks and I can't bring myself to click on the "go live" button.

I discovered what she was doing October 21, 2019, when she did a livestream on Twitch titled: **"Making Bjorn a BDSM Bondage Fetish Freak Just Like EelKat"**... seeing my name in the title of a stream baffled me, and I opened the stream to find her, yet again making 3D models of torture devices, this time, making a male BDSM Dominatrix named Bjorn who looked and dressed near identical to Avallac'h, and watched as she and 37 members of her chat, spent 5 hours with the running gag "Just like EelKat" which involved someone saying something highly sexual, followed by the next person answering with "Just like EelKat"... the stream ended abruptly when a male voice from her Discord voice chat said: "EelKat's in your viewer list, she's watching this, better take it to Discord."

One of her mods, immediately sent me an invite to the Discord and said "You should probably see this, it's really bad. I'm sorry. I don't think she thought you'd ever find out."

And when I opened the DisCord, I saw, and downloaded and watched all 200+ of her VODs about me - which I still have copies of. And I read all 2,000+ of her posts about me.

Her Discord has a NSFW BDSM section and in it is a massive running gag, which involved those same 800+ people who near daily attacked my Twitch chat... there were 2 years of the running gag "Just Like EelKat", where every few minutes, all day and all night, to the tune of several hundred thousand posts over the course of 2 years... one person would post a vile sex act, and the next person would reply "Just like EelKat".

A large majority of the posts involved the commenter detailing how they would rape and kill me, by using BDSM to rape me to death. The more violent the rape details were, the more she encouraged them.

This is a HUGE streamer with a HUGE Discord and she attacked my tiny 300 follower channel, because that's what she does. She's a bully.

And since it happened to me, I've found 68 others she did this same thing to, some before me, some after me, some the same time as me. Most of them gave up streaming and deleted their channels because of her rape raids on their channels. And I've since learned that her username, in certain underground circles of the internet, is a "secret code word" that group used for "rape" in order to bypass NightBot bans of the word "rape" in Twitch chats. By posting her username in chat, they are saying "rape" without actually saying "rape".

Basically, her entire group is devoted to attacking small female streamers, specifically small female streamers who are survivors of rape, with rape threats.

And if you are wondering, why "deserve to be raped" is what they chanted...

Once upon a time, there was a very healthy person, very athletic... hiked 13 miles every day through rough uphill terrain, went mountain climbing, bench pressed 78lbs even though being only 5'6", raised horses and went horseback riding, had a very active social life with dozens of friends, played tennis and golf, got invited to a lot of "high society" dinners and events... and had a partner, always by their side, for 32 years... they were seen in many social circles as the ideal couple...

and then one day... unexpectedly, while groceries into the back seat of the car at 10PM on the way home from work, in a dark corner of the parking lot that had no lights... 3 men carrying metal golf clubs and metal baseball bats, appeared out of the bushes beside the parking lot and attacked.

They left when they thought the person was dead... but they were not dead, they were still alive, against all odds... but their spine was broken, their nerves crushed and severed by the shattered bones of their vertebrae... their pelvis bones crushed, their hips bones obliterated, their knees shattered... they were paralyzed completely for 5 months, and then spent 18 months relearning to walk... but, the spinal column was damage beyond repair, and even after being sent to the best neurosurgeon in the country, the diagnosis was it couldn't be operated on... these particular nerves, it's a miracle this person can still speak or move their arms, that they ONLY lost movement from the chest down, defies medical logic, and no doctor dares touch those nerves, because of 74% chance, doing so, will make that person a vegetable.

They are bedridden now, crippled forever. Regaining movement in one leg but not the other, so can get up and walk, IF the dead dragging leg was the ONLY problem... but nerves control so much of your body, and a damaged spinal column, controls for more than just your legs.

This person no longer has control of bodily functions and has to wear adult diapers, that they can't change themselves... they have no way of knowing if they need to piss or shit and need a caretaker to change their diaper a few times a day.

Nerves in your spinal column also control things like heart and lungs, so breathing is now difficult and the heart needs monitoring because, well, it doesn't always work right anymore.

Nerves also control muscles, so tremors and twitches and seizures are all daily events now that make things like writing and typing very difficult.

There is so much more... but you get the idea... this person, once very active and very healthy, was suddenly and unexpectedly, brutally attacked, left for dead, and is now paralyzed for the rest of their life and left with many millions of hospital bills and countless health issues they they had no idea could be cause by a severed spinal column.

Yes, I am the person with the broken spine. 

That happened to me.

I'm crippled because 3 rapists with golf clubs, attacked me in a parking lot November 14, 2013. I was 8 months pregnant, they killed my baby, broke my spine, and the man I lived with for 32 years, said it was too much to deal with. 

He said it didn't look good if he didn't have a hot woman on his arm when he arrived at tennis matches. He said he had to "keep up public appearances".

I can no longer hike 13 miles a day, no longer bench press 78lbs something most men twice my size can't even do, can’t mountain climb or ride horses. I can't even get out of bed to take a piss in my bathroom 6 feet away.

THAT is the event she was mocking and making jokes about, and is what she and her Discord crew were talking about when they were chanting "deserve to be raped" in my chat.

She is a vile, evil, witch hunting cyberbully, who takes sadistic delight in obliterating the reputations of small streamers, by spreading hateful, malicious, slanderous sex lies about them. She is an absolutely horrible person.

Since the discovery of what she did (October 21, 2019) I no longer post anything in anyone's chat, at all. Chat on my channel is off and I don't post in any one else's chat either. I completely want nothing to do with Twitch chat at all anymore. 

I have severe anxiety attacks now just seeing a Twitch chat on any channel. Thankful Twitch has the open to hide chat and just watch the stream's video player now. I've not used Twitch chat in well over a year and I have no plans to go back to doing so.

So, yeah. There you have it. That's why haven't posted in your chat in a very long time. It's not you. I'm just having a very difficult time recovering from the deserve to be raped raids.


#FAQs: Are you a Satan worshiper?

Why? Because I help a homeless man, who you are scared of, because his entire body is covered with acid burns?

Do you even know your own religion?

Judge not lest ye too be judged by the same measuring rod with which you have judged.

As for the question of Satan Worship, I've already answered that elsewhere... I'll move those panels closer to the top so you can find them.

But before that, let me ask your so-called Christian mind, a few questions, let's see how well you know your Bible.

#1... Did you know Satan is NOT in the Bible? Nor does Satan originate from the Christian religion at all?

Had you ACTUALLY read your Bible and not just parroted back the CliffNote inaccuracies your pastor incorrectly preached to you on Sunday, you would have known, that Satan is NOT a character who appears in the Bible, nor nor does he originate from Christianity at all.

Satan first appeared in the novel "Paradise Lost" and was a "Christonized" version of the Pagan Horned God.

There is no reason for any Christian, who was ACTUALLY a Christian, and ACTUALLY knew their Bible, to believe in the existence of Satan at all, seeing how Satan is not part of Christian foundations.

If you CLAIM to be Christian, you can NOT also claim to believe in Satan and STILL be a Christian.

And all those famous people who have "near death experiences" and visit Heaven or Hell... and tell you Jesus, told them about Satan ... well... you can prove every one of them to be fake ass phones, the minute they mention Satan and make the claim that Jesus warned them about Satan.... because Jesus KNOWS Satan is not a part of his religion, so He wouldn't say he was, would he?

Do your research, you'll uncover a LOT of scams in Satan's name, in modern day Christianity, simply because 99% of so-called Christians these days, can't tell the difference between their Bibles and their own ass.

#2... the devil.... did you know, the devil, whom Christians, claim to be the "alternate name" of Satan... is a type of Ghoul and comes from the Koran, and is a type of daemon found in the Muslim religion, and nothing to do with Christianity at all?

The devs and the gauls, or devils and ghouls, are types of spirits of people who died either by murder or suicide, and haunt graves, houses, junkyards, and various objects, until someone releases their soul.

Had read you read the Koran, you would have known that. 

Had you read the Bible, you would have known too, there is no devil in it.

#Here's a thought...

Before you make an ass of yourself by accusing someone of anything... you better make damned sure you can back up your claim.

I am simply a different culture, a different race, and a different religion from you. That is all. Only this and nothing more. 

But because I am different from you, you feel the need to bully and harass, and attack and accuse.

Why?

Why do attack me?

Why do you fling your accusations?

Why do you feel threatened by my culture?

Why do you feel threatened by my race?

Why do you feel threatened by my religion?

Why do you feel threatened by the color of my skin?

Why do you feel threatened by a square of fabric on my head?

Why do these things about me, cause you to falsely accuse me of being a witch?

Why do these things about me, cause you to falsely accuse me of casting curses?

Why do these things about me, cause you to falsely accuse me of being a Satan worshiper?

And even if I was any of those things, what business would it be of yours?

I keep to myself and mind my own business, I'm not bothering you, so why are you bothering me?

You my friend, are a busy body, and the Bible had a lot to say about busy bodies and how evil they are and how much Jesus hates them. May I suggest you read Proverbs. 

You love your Bible so much, that you feel the need to throw your fake ass Christian accusations in my face, but perhaps, you would do well, to stop worrying about the mote in my eye, and be more concerned about the log in your own... or did that section of the Bible escape you as well? 

Here's some tips for the next time you think someone isn't Christian enough to exist...

Why do you feel threatened by my culture... it's same culture Jesus had... he was Semitic Hebrew, or did you forget that?

Why do you feel threatened by my race?

Why do you feel threatened by my religion... Jesus was NOT a Christian. The Christian religion was founded by Roman Emperor Constantine 800 years AFTER Jesus died.

Why do you feel threatened by the color of my skin... Jesus had darker skin than me. He wasn't white. Your white power hatred, means you hate Jesus too.

Why do you feel threatened by a square of fabric on my head... jesus wore a cloth on his head. There are more 100 verses in the New Testament which say as much. Jesus also said it was a sin for a man to cut either his hair or his beard, and that neither men nor women should go outside without their head covered. Did you just overlook those teaches from Jesus. Jesus not Christian enough for you?

You feel threatened by curses? What about Balam's ass, you know Jesus's talking donkey? Or how about the water that turned to wine? Walking on the ocean waves? Taking 2 loaves of bread, breaking them into enough pieces to fill 5,000 baskets? The fig tree that refused to feed Jesus in winter when figs don't grow? The 12 year old boy eaten by a bear that Jesus sent to it, because the boy threw a rock at Jesus? Maybe you should read your Bible more.

Let me ask you another question... do you think Jesus was a carpenter? Silly jackass, had you read your Bible, you would have known Mary was a temple prostitute who got pregnant at age 12 and was forced to marry the carpenter, Jesphe, accused of getting her pregnant. That baby was Jesus, he had 3 brothers, and 5 sisters born after, and Jesus grew up to be a fashion designer, a tailor, and a dyer of cloth. Not a carpenter. Had you read the Bible, you would have known that. Had your minister read the Bible and not children's picture books, he would have known that too, and preached it to you correctly.

You idiot. You're just like everyone else who claims to be a Christian these days, following the mindless herd, without actually knowing the foundation behind your faith.

What was it Jesus said about many coming and preaching in his name, but they will be nothing more then the blind leading the blind?

By trying to prove how much of a great big super Christian you are, all you've done is prove you know nothing about your religion at all.

If you take part in harassing and bullying someone, YOU are a mean person.

No, someone abusing you does NOT make you mean. I guarantee I've received way more abuse then you ever have, and I choose to be kind and helpful to everyone... even mean people like YOU.

It's YOUR CHOICE to be mean.

No one makes you be mean.

To be a better person, you have to first CHOOSE to be better then you are now.

Everything you do makes a difference in the lives of others.

Are you a GOOD impact on their lives or a BAD one?

Did your words and actions HELP someone today or HURT someone today?

Are you a GOOD person?

Or are you EVIL?

Look in the mirror and find out.

FAQs: Are you a Satan Worshiper? 

All 12 of my uncles were high ranked men in the church. Mission leaders, Bishops, Boy Scout Leaders, Quorum presidents, Stake Presidents, Branch Presidents... every one of them. And they sold children for sex to other priests in the church. It's where they got their fucking money. And most of those children didn't reach adulthood. Most of then were beaten to death before they were even 10 years old. Beaten to death by the priests who paid $12,000 for 15 minutes alone with a child to rape them. 



The whole REASON people call me a Satan Worshiper is BECAUSe those same uncles, thought ahead of time, to go to MUFUN and spread rumors and lies about those children. 



It was a fucking scam.



The whole damned thing.



Every bit of it.



The alien abductions, the haunted car... it was ALL a fucking scam, created by my uncles to discredit toddlers 3, 4, and 5 years old, to make sure no one would believe them, should those toddlers ever tell any adults about the priests that were raping them.



That's all it was.



My uncles scammed you all, and millions of idiots all over the world believed them.



Stupid ass people, believing in demons and aliens and haunted cars.... when the stories my uncles told you about those demons, aliens, and haunted cars was nothing but their fake ass cover up story to hide the fact that they were running a child prostitution ring.





You see the constant police and backhoes digging up my farm at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine - it's been going on since the first bodies were dug up by coyotes in 2016, ... if you're local, you've seen it, the hundreds of rusty oil barrels the FBI and police are digging up in my yard... the crowds of locals gathering around my farm, and police simply saying: "We are investigating cannibals" and giving no more details.



The oldest barrels they've excavated so far, date to the 1920s.... the bulk of them are from the 1950s to 1970s.... 



In those oil barrels are the bones of children. Little girls, 8, 9, 10, 12 years olds, who dared commit the sin of getting pregnant when white Americans paid $20,000 to rape them.



Americans like to spread all kinds of rumors about the group they call "The Scottish Mafia", but the reality of the so-called Scottish Mafia, is far worse then the stupid ass rumors.... a clan of cannibals, who raised little girls like they cattle, girls who spent their childhoods in cages, let out only long enough to be raped by American men willing to pay the highest prices, then slaughtered eaten as steaks when they turned 14 years old.... that's the REAL Scottish Mafia, a very big far cry from what you see portrayed as "Scottish Mafia" in TV and movies isn't it?



We females were seen as livestock.



Kept in cages, even puppy mills wouldn't dream of using.



Let out long enough to be raped by strangers.



Our rape babies beaten out of our bellies, on the orders of their fathers, who the uncles blackmailed more money out of. Pay money to beat the 8 year old child carrying your rape baby, ensure no one finds out what you do in your spare time.



Then slaughtered for food when you turn 14.



Your bones, sawed up, packed in oil barrels, and buried in the swamps.



They thought the swamps would rot the metal barrels, rot the bones.



They were wrong, weren't they?



The peat bog moss of the swamp preserved them. And now they are being dug up.



Go watch the VOD. See the bones being excavated out of my farm for yourself.



That is what I grew up with.



Daily being raped from the time I was 4 years old



When any of children got pregnant, our bellies were crushed.



And when we reached the age of 14, we were cut up into steaks and sold as fucking deer meat.



Have you noticed that in 2016, the door-to-door deer steak trucks all but vanished in Maine? Yeah. Now you know why. A lot of them are in prison now for selling human not deer steaks.



#If you have any information regarding this case, FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the investigation. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322



I'm one of the few who survived, because I had papers. When I was 12, a millionaire high priest from Austria, bought exclusive rights to me, and he also got me legal paperwork: American citizenship, a social security number, a birth certificate - things females in this clan were not allowed to have. Ben is the only reason I went on to become one of the few girls still alive today, and not sold as deer steaks when I turned 14.



A lot of people don't know WHY I got so damned mad at this vile, lewd, deviated sex crazed, slutty assed streamer woman, when she took events from my childhood and made BDSM sex fetish memes about it... because unlike this vile, lewd, deviated sex crazed, slutty assed streamer woman, a lot of people don't know the full details of what happened to me, what I saw happen to my cousins.



Half the time they weren't killed humanely... Anastasia... was only 4 years old, when on August 21, 1991, she had her leg pulled off her body.... the intestines came out with the bone .... her breakfast half digested spewed out all over the floor mingled with the blood... it took her 5 damned days to finally bleed to death. And they left her laying their, while the older male cousins,  leading them, kicked her, punched her, and rapeded her, over and over again.



#THEY FUCKING TORTURED HER TO DEATH!



Do you know what it feels like to have your head held down on a cement cinder block while a more traditional red brick is slammed into your face?



I do!



It was a common punishment.



I can even begin to count how many times my jaw was broken that way.



#Do you see now how incredibly VILE the sex joke memes this vile, lewd, deviated, piece of shit woman made about the torture I went through, is?



#HOW DISGUSTING this vile, lewd, deviated sex crazed, slutty assed streamer woman IS FOR CALLING A 4 YEAR OLD BEING TIED DOWN, RAPED, AND JAW BROKEN WITH A BRICK, A BDSM SEX FETISH!!!!!



This vile, lewd, deviated sex crazed, slutty assed streamer woman is a bad as the fucking men who did that to us!



How dare she call the torture we went through BDSM sex fetishes!



Over 300 little girls between the ages of 4 and 14 were MURDERED!



What kind of a sick bastard makes sex jokes about THAT?



#WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HER!!!!!



There has never been a time in my life, when I wasn't suffering in pain from broken bones that never got set, ruptured organs that left me bleeding for weeks on end. Not once being allowed to go to the hospital.



My hip dysplasia was caused by having a 2 foot long foundation nail driven through my hip when I was 4 years old.  



I've heard people say sex was good, fun, happy... I've never had sex that wasn't forced, wasn't rape, wasn't brutal, and didn't leave me without broken bones or torn muscles. Sex is the worse, most evil, most horrible, vile, pain riddin form of torture there is. I can't even image how anyone could enjoy being beaten, having their bones broken, strangled, stabbed with knives, forks, and broken glass plates... sex the most awful thing there is, I can not understand how anyone would want it.



The only good thing about sex is the babies that come from it, but all of mine were murdered before they could be born. I was never allowed to raise any of my babies, and I nearly died after every beaten that killed my babies. 



The most recent one, they beat me with metal baseball bats and golf clubs, left me not only without my baby, but with my spine, hips, and knees broken, I'm crippled for the rest of my left and have spent the last 6 years relearning to walk.



No one has ever been kind to me.



No one has ever hugged me.



No one has ever kissed me.



No one has ever loved me.



There are only 2 things I've ever wanted: a baby and a friend.



America has laws, a woman my age can't adopt, you have to be under 45 in order to qualify for consideration to adopt a child in America; and the last beaten, left me unable to have children.



That leaves me with only one thing left to hope for in life: a friend, someone to talk to. I've never had that. Not once. More then half my life was spent locked in a cage, with no lights, no heat, total darkness, in a room with no windows, no nothing, just mold and fungus several inches thick on rotten walls, and a dirt ledge floor, bare ground, no floor boards. Alone for weeks on end, not knowing if or when I would ever see a person, if or when I would be given another burned saucepan to claw scrapings off of.



#When the FBI raid happened, I was



* 31 years old, 5'6" and weighed 87lbs. 



* my bones and muscles were (and still are) brittle and falling apart from 2 decades of extreme malnutrition. 



* I was nearly starved to death and the rescuers estimated I would have died with in the next few months had the raid not happened



* the room was filled with the bones of others who had died, been tossed in the room, their flesh eaten by the same rats that chewed on my arms and legs each night... they had all been beheaded, so no heads or skulls were ever found and the FBI continues to excavate the area and dredge local waters in search of the skulls, to this day



* It had been decades since I'd last eaten a meal, with as many as 2 weeks passing between being tossed a burned pan to scrap out. 



* I couldn't see in daylight because I'd spent so many years in total darkness. 



* And I didn't know how to speak human languages, was only able to speak cat and chicken, due to the only ones I had, had to talk to in that time, was the feral cats that snuck in through the cracks in the walls at night, and the chickens who were put in the room in the winter to protect them from the cold.



* I had no social skills, did not know how to communicate with others; was only able to communicate via writing; 



* because the only physical touch I had ever had from anyone was being raped or being beaten... I had (and still have) a massive phobia of humans getting near me and am prone to massive meltdowns of total hysteria if someone gets within 5 feet of me



* I had (and still have) a massive phobia of forks, seeing them as weapons, not food utensils, due to have been stabbed, scarred, and tortured with sharped forks by my uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater, so many dozens of times



* I was 37 years old before I found out I was a human, and not a demon, like I had been raised to believe



* the team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers assigned to me, all agreed that they did not believe I would ever be able to assimilate into HUMAN society, due to my extreme hatred for and fear of HUMANS, and my total 100% belief that I was not a HUMAN, caused by my mother's extreme paranoid schizophrenia, and her having locked me in a cage in that isolation room on my 8th birthday because she believed faeries had stolen her real daughter and replaced her with me, a demon changeling



* the team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers assigned to me, all agreed that I likely will never be able to feel any empathy for or towards HUMANS, due to 3 decades of being raised by violent mentally unstable humans who had severe untreated schizophrenia that they bounced off each other... with them glorifying the glories of them being HUMAN and us children being DEMONS unworthy of living in HUMAN presence



* the thing this group of 24 psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers found to be the single most disturbing fact of all, was that ...


#my 3 decades of neglect, abuse, and isolation was so extreme that I possess no sympathy, empathy, compassion, pity, or ability to identify with Humans - the only emotion I feel towards humans is loathsome hatred ... and they coined the term "OtherKin" to describe me, because there was no psychosis out there to label me... yes, I'm EelKat the first OtherKin, the child that psychiatrists coined the term for




* among things included in my diagnosis, was the phrase: 



>>>"is a UFO suicide cult survivor"



and



>>>"was raised by radical fundamentalist extremists"



and



>>>"was raised to believe she was not human"



and



>>>"was raised to believe she was a demon"



and



>>>"in interviewing the adults who raised her, 52 of them maintain the belief that she is a demon channeling that they refer to her as 'Her Grandmother's Evil Spirit'", "they claimed the real child ceased to exist after her grandmother's funeral", "they claimed that upon returning from the funeral, the real child was gone and this demon changeling was left in her place"



and



>>>"evidence suggests that her grandmother was murdered and she witnessed this event, resulting in the adults who murdered her grandmother creating the delusion that she was a demon, removing her from public school, and locking her in a cage in order to prevent her from telling anyone about the grandmother's murder"



and



>>>"they said they could not let her out of the cage because she refused to reveal where the faeries had taken the real child to"



and



>>>"they said they had no choice but to beat her daily because of her refusal to reveal the location of the real child she had replaced"



and



>>>"they likewise believe that both grandmothers were not human, citeing they too were demons"



and



>>>"they cited that the girl inherited 'Helen's evil spirit' upon Helen's death and 'Eva's evil spirit' upon Eva's death"



and



>>>"alarmingly every adult involved in her rearing displays severe schizophrenia, total belief in demons, and is fully convinced that this girl is a demon changeling; scarily their delusions fed on each other, giving rise to even more delusions" 



and



>>>"was removed from public school at the age of 8 years old a few hours following her grandmother's funeral; an investigation was made by the superintendent of schools, but social workers never followed up on the girl's sudden disappearance from public eye. These horrific events may never have happened had The Maine State Department of Human Services taken those initial reports from the her teacher, principal, superintendent, school nurse, and the child's pediatrician, all of whom files individual reports regarding concerns for the girl's safety after witnessing several signs of abuse during the weeks prior to her disappearance"



and



>>>"reports were made to the Old Orchard Beach Police Department regarding the girl's disappearance from school. No follow up was done. It has been discovered that members of the family worked in the police department and destroyed the department's record of these reports made by concerned school officials" 



and 



>>>"has never experienced kind, good, or loving relationships"



 and



 >>>"since infancy has never been hugged, held, cuddled, or touched in a good way by other humans" 



and



>>>"displays post traumatic stress disorder symptoms similar to WW2 concentration camp victims"



and



>>>"can not remember her name, answers to the names 'four eyed retard' and 'competition bitch' which appear to be the only names her mother called her since the age of 8 years old"



and 



>>>"has never been taught to view humans as equals" 






* in the weeks following the FBI raid, 3 aunts and 8 uncles, were all diagnosed with schizophrenia... among other things



* the 12 siblings, their 50+ spouses, and 400+ adult children who ran the child prostitution ring, were all diagnosed with sociopathy, 5 were diagnosed with megalomania, more the 3 dozen (including my mother) were diagnosed with Munchausen syndrome by proxy



* the group was classified as the most radical of the compounds that called themselves members of Heaven's Gate - 4 of it's leaders killed themselves in the infamous HaleBop murder/suicide that killed 39 people in California and was what led to the FBI raid a few weeks later



* the FBI raid would result in dozens of Catholic, Mormon, Pentecostal, Baptist, Born Again Holy Roller, New Life, and non-Denominational churches throughout southern Maine and the Greater Boston tri-state area being closed in the weeks/months that followed, in the mid-late 1990s, as hundreds of pedophile priests were arrested for having paid money (often $millions in church funds) to rape the young girls



* wild rumors began to surface, as horrified Americans dubbed the clan leaders involved in the Scottish Gypsy child prostitution ring as "The Scottish Mafia"



* while American movie producers had a field day stereotyping "Scottish Mafia" to mean anything and everything, we 140 survivors, had to fight claw and fang against paparazzi, alongside trying to even learn what the hell an American even was



* the worst of them, Stephen King arrived at the compound, with a huge movie crew and set out to filming a movie "The Thinner" based off what he referred to as "the Gypsies of Saco, Maine, the most REAL Gypsy style Gypsies I have ever encountered"... he and his crew were trespassers, had no permits or permissions, and today are in a legal battle against our clan trying to get the rights to release Thinner on DVD, something we absolutely refuse to sign off on - we are abhorred that he tried to capitalize on our decades of torture, pain, and suffering



* and all of the 140 others like myself, were also raised to believe they were locked in cages because they were demons....



* as of 2020, more than half of the 140 survivors rescued from that FBI raid have commit suicide, due to the pressures of trying to BECOME A HUMAN and to date none have been able to see themselves as HUMANS or successfully assimilate in HUMAN society and most are still 100% convinced they are DEMONS and are unable to identify as HUMAN or live among HUMANS



* while I was 31 at the time of the FBI raid; the eldest of my brothers was only 7 years old - yes, I am old enough to be the grandmother of every one of my brothers; one of them, was so badly traumatised by the abuse he received, he does not talk still to this day



* given the fact that my mother has multi-hundreds of medical records that all list her as infertile and unable to have children, after a brutal "miscarriage" (caused by an overdose of sleeping pills, then having her head cracked open with a brick b an unknown attacker while she was unconscious) she had 4 years after I was born, combined with the dates of the births of my brothers vs the dates of the so-called "miscarriage" beatens, some of the psychiatrists, psychologists, and social workers involved in the case, believe that chances are high that my brothers, may actually be my sons, stolen from me by my own mother, after being beaten unconscious by her brother Mervin Bruce.... this theory was further emphasized by the fact that one of my brothers is a blue eyed blond (everyone in the Atwater family has dark skin, black eyes, and black hair, due to being 3/4 Native American and 1/4 black African) and looks exactly like Ben (a blue eyed blond Austrian), the father of my babies



* my mother suddenly and mysteriously "became infertile again" after the FBI raid and her freak unexplained popping out new babies days after each of my so-called "miscarriages"  (each one caused by being beaten unconscious at around 8 months pregnant, and waking up with the baby gone, followed by my mother's miraculous "giving birth" to a slightly premature baby a few weeks later) suddenly ceased to happen



* I was 37 years old when a team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers set out to training me how to do things like walk on my feet instead of crawl on all 4s like a cat



* I was also 37 years old when a team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers set out to teaching me how to speak in human languages instead of in chicken clucks and cat growls and hisses



* during attempting to teach me to speak, they made an alarming discovery: I spoke via chicken clucks and cat growls and hisses, not because I didn't know human languages or lacked understanding as they originally thought, but rather, because I'd been hit in the face with a brick so many times in my lifetime, that I couldn't open my jaw wide enough to form words



* x-rays and trips to a dentist, revealed massive damage to my jaw bones, cheek bones, sinus region bones, and teeth, from years of being baten in the face with a brick



* at 41 years of age I had reconstructive surgery of my jaw, including 7 root canals... meaning my jawbone and 21 of my teeth are porcelain - not real bone or teeth, resulting in I am now able to eat solid foods for the first time in my life and also am now able to talk normally (before the surgery, the damage to my jawbone was so bad that I was classified as "near-mute" due to an extreme inability to open my jaw enough to be able to form words.



* all of my molars (back teeth) were crumbled shards, with raw pulp exposed



* my jaw was broken and healed improperly, in so many places that doctors could not determine how many times I had suffered a broken jaw in my lifetime



* the broken teeth and jaw bones were a result of having my head held down on a cement cinder block, while a regular red brick was used to smash my jaw - this was a recurring punishment I received a few times a month, from the time I was 8 years old until I was 31 years old



* I stopped talking when I was 14 years old and was classified as mute for the next 16 years - I "refused" to talk, because the searing pain in my jaw was so bad that I could not open my mouth far enough to form words



* the reconstructive surgery at age 41, resulted in my being able to speak normally, for the first time in my life



* I was 42 years old when I found out the concept of things like friends and people talking to other people existed; and my desire to have a friend, someone I could talk to set in



* July 1, 2001 a backhoe with the mural of a big red apple painted on it's side, drove over my house, while me and my brothers were gone to the movie theater... my mom's brother Joey bragged on Facebook that he had hired the man to do it



* February 14, 2003 - I was stuck in traffic and arrived to my doctor's appointment 10 minutes late.... lucky for me, as I arrived in time to see the mushroom cloud as a bomb in my doctor's office blew up First Care Health Clinic on Saco Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, killing my doctor and 3 nurses, and leaving 21 patients in critical condition



* October 16, 2006 a bomb blew up my house and an 8 foot tall Ku Klux Klan cross was left behind in the rubal (keeping in mind, several uncles and cousins are members of the KKK)



* April 2007, the same backhoe returned to drive over my house yet again



* May 15, 2010, my car, the 1964 Dodge 330, was cut in half by a group of radical members of a local church known as The Saco Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints; the Bishop's first counselor went to prison 7 months later



* May 2013 Southern Maine Community College was evacuated when a bomb was found in the back corner of the classroom I was in



* July 2013, while driving home from my job at the Maine Mall, I was pulled off the road to wait, while police closed off the crossroad at my street.... the body of my cousin Murphy was laid out in the middle of the road, minus his head... the police found his head a few miles away at a different crossroad... he was one of the children abused and survivors rescued



* August 8, 2013 the infamous backhoe returned to drive over my house yet again and this now being the 5th house this backhoe had driven over shortly after rebuilding from the previous attack, I gave up rebuilding houses to live under a tent instead



* August 13, 2013, on my birthday, one of my uncles posted on my FaceBook wall "paying that construction worker to demolish your house for your birthday was the best $600 I ever spent, Americans are such boobs, they'll do anything for money"



* November 14, 2013, while in a parking lot putting bags of art supplies in the back of my car 3 unknown people attacked me from behind with 2 metal baseball bats and a metal golf club. This was the first time since the FBI raid of 1997, that I had been pregnant again, and for nw the 7th time, had a "miscarriage" caused by a brutal beaten; but for the first time a beaten by stranger, not one of my uncles or my mother



* 2 of them were women who looked to be about 65 and acted like sisters or best friends, one with long curly orange red hair and cyberpunk looking neon lime green cyclops-style glasses and a off the shoulder sweater of large black and white stripes and screaming "it's my turn to shine"; the other a blond wearing a denim button front work-shirt; the 3rd a bald man who acted like either the blond woman's son or lover, and had a football player muscle build



* the November 14, 2013 attack broke my spine, hips, and knees leaving me paralyzed for 5 months and 18 months to relearn to walk 



* I returned to work in 2015, but now with limited movement and requiring a cane



* November 2015 Scarborough WalMart evacuated when a bomb was found in the department I was stationed to work in



* March 2015 my aunt's husband was arrested  by the FBI on a Boston Mass beach for selling bombs, bomb marking parts, automatic rifles, and machine guns to members of Isis; his bombs were identified both as the bombs that were used in the Boston Marathon attacks AND the bombs in my house, doctors' office, college, and work places; branding my mom's sister as the FBi's number 1 suspect in ALL of the attacks prior



* March 2015 her son was arrested at Scarborough Downs Race Track for selling prescription bottles stolen from the Southern Maine Medical Center (aka The Barbara Bush Foundation Children's Hospital aka the Biddeford Hospital)



* April 10, 2015 - 12 members of my family were kidnapped



* April 12, 2015 - 2 escaped and returned home, both with their jaws broken and nearly all of their teeth knocked out



* May 15, 2015, the heads of 2 of them were returned (8 more heads would be returned in the weeks following)



* May 15, 2015 she posted a message on my FaceBook wall which read: "the next head nailed to a dor will be yours"... she posted it 5 hours before I discovered the heads nailed to my door



* June 2016  Scarborough WalMart evacuated a second time when a bomb was found yet again in the department I was stationed to work in



* July 2016 - a red haired woman, the blond woman, and the bald man, this time in a gold Volvo suv, once again attacked me in a parking lot - this time at WalMart while I was putting groceries in my car... they attacked me from behind yet again, this tie with a shopping cart, while the redhead woman screamed yet again " it's my time to shine", while the blond woman screamed "that's EelKat she tried to kill my husband"



* since the July 2016 attack I have been bedridden with inoperable damage to my spinal column and unable walk unaided with the help of others



#There's your fucking ass Satan worship. Now leave me alone and go burn in hell where you jackass so-called Christians belong!.... while you bastards run around accusing children of Satan worship, the priests you praise in church were raping and torturing those children, and not a one of you ever did a damned thing to help. You people have the gall to call yourselves Christians? The murders of those children is as much on your heads as it is on my uncles.



And now that you know what my uncles did... think about this...



...the vile lewd, streamer bitch and her 200+ VODs and 2,000+ Discord posts... do you know what she said in them?



She took, copy and pasted, line by line, changing nothing, the details of the vile shit my uncles did to me, and made memes, saying Avallac'h did those things to Ciri, and said that THAT was WHY I liked Avallac'h.



She did THAT on top of making up the lies that I was a BDSM dominatrix and spreading that rumor across social networks.



She did THAT on top of hiring for $5,000 men, hit men... she fucking HIRED HIT MEN... to come to my house with guns and baseball bats.



February 2019 ... 5 of her trolls showed up at my house armed with guns and baseball bats... they raped 2 women, killed a 10 year old boy, hospitalized 3 elderly men in critical condition, totaled 3 cars, including doing $30,000 in damages to my daily driver, did $230,000 to the building resulting in the city condemning it resulting in 28 families being made homeless.



There is now an FBI investigation into ALL 800+ trolls from her channel, 2 streamers involved are now in prison, 20+ streamers have been perma banned by Twitch, and more then 700 of her "chat trolls" have received various forms of bans and suspensions, most of them are permabanned.



I thought there NOTHING more evil than my uncles... I was wrong, that filthy slut assed whore of a streamer bitch, was far, far worse.... she took crimes, rape, torture, and murder of children, and made it into a vile running gag.




I'm fed up with people looking to get their 15 minutes of fame, and taking advantage of the shit I lived through to try to get that fame.



I've had it.



I've survived hell that most people can't even stomach hearing about.



I REFUSE to be treated like shit, by a vile piece of trash like this vile, lewd, deviated sex crazed, slutty assed streamer woman who thinks taking the pain and suffering of others is good thing to make fucking BDSM fetish memes about.



This vile, lewd, deviated woman is 24 years old, sitting behind her computer screen, laughing, joking, making sex memes about the suffering of others...



Do where I was when I was 24 years old?



Locked in a cage that a chihuahua wouldn't even fit in. Nearly starved to death.  Hips broken. Jaw broken. Pools of blood gushing from my rectum. The bloody, clotted remains of the six month old unborn baby that had just been beaten out of my belly covering the walls of the cage.



You jackasses who followed her and spent 2 fucking years harassing me and my chat. What the fuck is wrong with you sick, sadistic pieces of shit?



You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves.



#HOW DARE YOU TRY TO TURN THAT INTO A BDSM SEX FETISH MEME, YOU'RE ALL VILE PERVERTED, FUCKED UP PIECES OF SHIT!



You people who took part in this cyber bullying, you are all as cold, cruel, hateful, and heartless, as you are evil.



Are you happy now?



There are some things, you don't want to know about people... but when you bully someone, make rumors about them, play follow the leader and spread lies about them, just because you are lusting after a slutty streamer shaking her boobs in your face... there comes a time, when you should step back, and ask yourself WHY are you helping her spread those lies? Is watching her shake her breasts in your face on Twitch, really worth digging up the past or a night mare hell that someone else lived through?



These wounds run deep and I do not appreciate you digging them up.



I kept this stuff separate from Twitch. And I'm not happy with you people bring it up.



I'm especially not happy, with you taking the vile evil torture that my uncles did to me, and making memes about those things, saying that Avallac'h did them to Ciri.



Had you read the novels, you would have known, Ciri went through a hell of a lot of shit, from a hell of a lot of men. Men who DID do things similar to what my uncles did to me. And because of that, I was able to empathise with Ciri a lot.



Avallac'h took her away from those men, and took her to a place where they couldn't find her. He protected her from men who were hurting her.



I like Avallac'h because I wish there had been someone like him in my life.



No one cared what happened to us children. No one. We desperately needed someone like Avallac'h. Someone who cares. Someone to take us away and keep us safe from the men who hurt us.



Maybe instead of chasing after some little Twitch whore's breasts, you should learn to think before you act.



Maybe, next time cleavage on camera, tells you to harass someone, maybe you'll think to do a background check on the person you are about to harass, and find out if what the boobs on camera tell you about that person, is really true, or are those breast just attached to the chest of an evil cyberbully who gets off on watching her mindless simps hurt others.



Not a one of you, thought to ask yourselves if what she was telling you about me was true.



You just attacked mindlessly or her orders.



Not one of you tried to get to know me.



You just believe her bdsm dominatrix sex lies without question.



You can see how I dress. Do I LOOK like a bdsm dominatrix to you?



We do Bible readings, almost every stream. And you would have known that, had instead of attacking me, you took the time to watch my channel.



Mindless sheep. That's all you are. Following the herd, without asking yourself if you even should.



Are you proud of what you've done?

FAQs: I can barely hear you when you talk, can you do something with the volume?

#FAQs: I can barely hear you when you talk, can you do something with the volume?





No, unfortunately. The audio is already as high as it can go.



I have stacibotrin poisoning and can not speak above a whisper, so no, there is no way to increase voice volume, it is already as loud as it can be turned up. 



It means the lining of my lungs are scarred so badly that speech is difficult for me. I have lived with this my whole life, it is something I have had since I was 8 years old. I have never been able to speak above a whisper.



It was caused by being locked in that "room", which among other things had a black "mildew" looking mold that was over 3 inches thick on the walls... when the FBI raid rescued me out of that room 31 years later, the "mildew" was tested and discovered not to be mildew but rather stacibotrin.



It causes me to cough up blood whenever I laugh or try to raise my voice above a whisper.



The frequent gushing nosebleeds that last for several hours are also caused by this. 



It is one of the first known cases of stacibotrin in America, and it was believed, due to the fact that it was growing 3 inches thick, which is not natural for this type of mushroom, that my uncles were doing biological warfare testing on the children they had imprisoned. They said my uncles were suspected of helping Russia test bio-weapons in North America *(This was during the 1970s and 1980s, so quite a long time ago, now)* I don't know what evidence they had to cause them to think that, but, it was what the agents and officers said during the raid.




I also tested positive for having had small pox, at some point... though the test was done when I was 42, I had it when I was 13... something that again, should not have been in America and further supported the FBI's theory that my uncles were building bio-warfare bombs. *(They built bombs and sold them to various terrorist groups, including the Isis bomb that killed a lot of people in Boston during some race a few years back. The uncle who built that bomb was the first one to go to prison.)*



The thing that has made catching my uncles so difficult was that they are not Americans. They are Canadians. They are illegal aliens from Canada, hiding in America, because it is easier to hide in America than it is to hide in Canada. Their headquarters is in Nova Scotia. I'm not sure where, I've never been to Canada.



The uncle that lived 6 months of the year in Russia, for most of the past 60 years, yes, even when Russia was closed to Americans, was also an Air Force Pilot and an Intelligence Officer at the Pentagon. All of the ID he had through the American military was fake, his age the military had him listed as was a full 10 years wrong, and all his "American citizen" papers *(SSN, birth certificate, etc)* were fake. He worked in the Pentagon for almost 20 years before it was discovered all his documents were fake, and that was what lead to his being discharged from the military, a few days before his expected being given the rank of Colonel. When the news reports came out reporters called him a "Russian spy" involved in "the Iron Curtain" and "the Cold War" . He joined the American military in the 1950s. Apparently it was easy to fake ID back then and once he was in, no one thought to check his documents again until the end of the 1980s.



Because of that particular uncle, who fortunately is now dead, all the "adult" children who were rescued in the FBI raid, had to be tested for everything they could possibly have ever medically had via being given it by men testing bio-weapons on children. I tested positive for Stacibotrin Poisoning, Anthrax, and Small Pox, all 3 of which are why I have the lung problems today, that I have.




But yeah, that's why I can't talk properly. I have massive scaring in my lungs from Stacibotrin Poisoning, Anthrax, and Small Pox, all 3 of which I had 50 years ago, when I was a small child, and I've had to live with the agonizing pain of lungs filled with scar tissue, for almost 60 years now, because my uncles were jackass bastards. Thankfully most of them are now either in prison or dead, and can't hurt anyone anymore. 



I wish the FBI raid had happened sooner. How different my life would have been, had I been rescued as a child or a teenager or even as a young adult. I was locked in that cage and tortured for 31 years. They put me in it when I was 8. The FBI raid let me out 31 years later.



But that is why, my voice is so very quiet. I'm not physically able to speak louder than I do. 



See photos of the "room" I was tortured in, in the panels about the room, you can see the Stacibotrin in the photos.



There were 12 uncles involved in the leadership of the clan. Their are 4,000+ direct family members, this number does not include in-laws and their families. Of those 4,000 only around 400 has American citizenship. All of the rest are Canadians in America illegally, with the exception of the Russian family members, who are Russian, and as far as I know only 2 of them have American citizenship.



The bulk of the men are polygamists, most have 2 to 5 wives, and several of the wives have multiple husbands, most have between 3 to 8 husbands *(these "lesser" husbands, act as "servants" of the primary husband, doing the "jobs" (petty crimes, bank robberies, making the fake IDs, that sort of thing, in addition to helping to raise the children; the lesser husbands are usually castrated to prevent adultery from happening with the lead husband's wives.)*. 



Each female is married between the age of 12 and 16 and will have given birth no fewer then 4 times by the time she reaches 16 years old. Most females give birth to 12 to 20 children. This is WHY, the DIRECT family, not including in-laws, has more then 4,000 members. 



Most of the children will die before reaching the age of 12. 



Most of the women will die before reaching the age of 35. 



Children are not named until they are 3 years old, because chances are high they will not live that long and they are not baptised until they are 8 years old, because again chances are high they will not live that long.  



Average lifespan in Gypsy culture is very, very, very low.



The Air Force Major *(now dead, by suicide, on the final day of the pedophile, child rapist court case brought against him by 86 teen girls all under the age of 16 at the time of the court case, but had all been raped by him under the age of 8... had he not died hours before the end of the trial, he would have gotten 86 sentences for the rapes, plus more charges for the Russian spy stuff, plus more charges for medical experiments on children; he was about to receive a sentence of more then 500 years in prison)*, one of his younger brothers was one of the leaders of Heaven's Gate *(who just died from Covid-19)*, while one of their sister's husbands *(who got life in prison and is still there)* was a supplier to Isis. They were the 3 the FBI was after when the raid happened. The FBI didn't know that these men also had 140+ children, whom had been locked in cages 30+ years, being tortured the entire time. I was one of those children.




The news reports called it "The Worst Child Abuse Case In American History" others called it "Maine's House of Horrors".



Their oldest brother and two of his adult children *(now both in their 60s and him today in his 80s)* were the founders of a branch of the Ku Klux Klan known as "The Loyalist White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan More Loyal then the Loyal White Knights", a group founded for none-whites to "cleanse their DNA and become white". These 3 are still at large, were responcable for the bomb that blew up my house in 2006, where responcable for the kidnapping and beheading of my children in 2015, and are the primary mods of the streamer behind the "deserved to be raped raids" here on Twitch. He is the correct Patriach of the clan. His word is law and when comands orders, then Clan obeies. Many of that streamer's Discord "community" are members of the 4,000 who follow this man. It's WHY she was able to so quickly gather up so many to attack my channel, and if you watch her VODs, you can see the many times one of his sons pays that streamer a $500 donation, with instructions to attack my channel.



In the 30 years since the raid that rescued us, I've had to live with endless interrogations by police and FBI, who refuse to believe I know nothing about my uncles', aunts, and cousins' activities outside of the compound. The same dozens of questions asked over and over again every few months for decades on end. 



Constantly be called into court every time yet another uncle, aunt, or cousin is caught. And endless disappointment from the agents, officers, and lawyers when, once again, they call me in t be a witness and are once again reminded that of the 4,000+ members of the family, I have met face to face fewer then 30 of them and do not know what any of the 4,000+ others look like, nor do I know their names. 



They seem to forget that my being locked in a cage in a closet for 31 years, means, the only people I ever saw, were the ones who tossed food into the cage and the ones who tortured me. They hope against hope that maybe I'll know something about this criminal or that criminal. But why would I? I had one square foot of space, to sit huddled in, my knees to my face. There were no lights, no windows. 



Darkness 24 hours a day for years on end. Even the ones I did see face to face when they came in once every 12 days to toss molded bread and maggot filled rice at me, I couldn't see their faces through the darkness, and didn't know their names. While there were 12 uncles who ran the group, I only ever met 5 of those uncles, though I could hear the fighting and yelling from the next room, and a few times saw the blond American with the German Shepard dog, who was the one who all the money went to, I still don't know who they were, not to this day.



In spite of the money they brought in, my uncles struggled to get by or feed the family most of the time because they only kept a 10% cut... all the rest of the money went to the blond American with the German Shepard dog. HE was the actual leader of the group, and he wasn't a relative. I don't know who he was. They just called him "Mark". They'd rush around in a panic the days he showed up, saying stuff like "We gotta hide these before Mark get's here"... "Mark's coming today, he can't find out we got these." I don't know who Mark was, I could probably ID him if the police or FBI ever caught him, because him, I did see several times. He showed up like clockwork every month to collect the money, the weapons, and the drugs, that my uncles handed over to him. 



But the uncles, the auntes, the cousins... I can't ID most of them, because I never saw them. Most of them were in Utah, Nevada, Arizona, and Wyoming and never even came to Maine at all. Others are in Canada, Russia, and Australia, and again, never came to Maine at all. So none of them I can ID either.



It's frustrating.



I want to just move on and live a normal life. 



I've never been wanted.



Never been loved.



Never been welcomed.



Never been accepted.



Never been included.



Isolated for decades in solitary confinement, since I was 8 years old.



I went years between being allowed to bathe.



Years between any human contact that wasn't a hand wielding a brick to my jaw.



I've never had a friend.



I've never had a real family, just abusers.



31 years in a cage, in a closet with no light.



And when I finally escaped... I found the outside world to be just cold, just as cruel, just as unkind, just as unloving.



I used to think my uncles were the freaks.



But now I know, I'm the freak. Because I'm not violent. I feel pain. I desire love. I desire friendship.



But I've learned that Humans are incapable of those things. 



Humans are cruel.



Humans are incapable of showing love.



Humans are incapable of desplaying friendship.



Because Humans are evil. There is no good in them.



My uncles were not flukes, they were norm of the Human race.



Since my escape, my only goal has been to find love and friendship.



 But every few months the police or FBI will capture yet another uncle, aunt, or cousin and then the whole process starts over again... call me in to ask what I know about this one, can I point them out in a line up. 



No. I never heard of this one either. 



No. I was locked in a cage for 31 years, in total darkness. I never saw anyone but the 5 uncles who tortured me and the handful of adult cousins who helped them.



It's why I play video games so much, so obsessively. I'm trying to forget the endless having to deal with police and FBI and court, month after month, for decades on end. With no break. It's as bad as the first 31 years of my life in the cage! I had no freedom then, but I have no more freedom now, because the police and lawyers and FBI look at me as though I know everything about the criminal relatives in my family, when I know next to nothing about them, and pester me constantly.




The Isis uncle. I'd never even heard of him before. Or Isis. The police showed up after they arrested him. In 2016. That was ever heard of him or Isis. I remember one of the officers asked: "What do you mean, you never heard of Isis? Don't you watch the news? He killed all those people at the Boston Marathon with a bomb!"... I was sitting in my yard, under the tarp that is my house. And response to the officer: "Does it look like I have a place to plug a TV in? One of these trees perhaps? I've been homeless since the bomb blew up my house in 2006." Apparently, I have uncle named Paul. Well, he's not an uncle I ever heard of before. And apparently he builds bombs for someone named Isis, whom I also never hear of before. But apparently, according the officers who arrived in my yard, this Isis dude killed a lot of people in Boston with a bomb built by an uncle Paul, I didn't know I had. 



When the police showed up March 1997, asking about Heaven's Gate. I'd never heard of Heaven's Gate. That's not what any of my uncles ever called the farm. "The Royal Highland Atwater Clan" that's what my uncles called. Except for Richard who called it "Three Swans". Heaven's Gate? No. None them used that term. Only the police ever called it that. They were looking for my uncle Bruce, but he was in Utah. Never did understand why the police were here in Maine looking for him. Mervin Bruce. Leader of Heaven's Gate? Was he? All he ever did was stockpile weapons, rave and rant that God lived on planet Kolob, and was going to fly in on a mothership hidden in the shadow of Comet Wormwood. He fucking insane. He claimed Satan visited him every night and demons talked to im all day. When he was finally arrested... for cutting his wife's foot off at the Saco Dairy Queen... the judge asked him why he cut her foot off, and he told the judge Satan told him to. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia and sentenced to spend the rest of his life in a state run mental institute. He recently died of Covid-19.



And yet, when the police arrived asking question about him. All they wanted to know was, the names of the 39 victims who died in California. How the hell am I supposed to know? I've never been outside of Maine. I have agoraphobia, I don't even leave my yard. California is as far away from Maine as you can get and still be in America. They had all kinds of questions about Heaven's Gate... but in 1997, I'd only been released from my cage, less than a year. I'd never heard of Heaven's Gate. Like I said, just because the new reports and the police said it was Heaven's Gate... no one inside the farm ever called it that.



And Major Richard Merlin? He was in Russia buying little girls. Biggest pedophile in the clan. He had 16 dogs, used buy children from Russia, then make videos of his dogs raping them. He had beastiality child porn website. And yet when the police showed up for him, all their questions were about Russian spies and Iron Curtains and Cold war. They didn't give a shit about the hundreds of little girls he filmed while his Britney Spaniels and Irish Setters raped them. I seriously doubt he ever stopped sexually abusing children long enough to spy for the Russian government. But that's what the police believed and it's what the news reporters printed up in news papers when he got dragged off to court in 2013. He commit suicide day before the trail ended, after 86 of the children he'd raped showed up in court the night before to testify against him.



When the police arrived about the priests who bought time with the children... they only asked questions about Catholic priests from Boston. I've never in my life met a Catholic priest. The priest my uncles were selling little girls to... they were NOT Catholic, nor where they in Boston. Again, I've never been outside of Maine, and I was 42 years old, first time I ever met a non-Mormon. All those men my uncles were selling little girls to, every one of them was a Mormon priest from Cape Elizabeth Ward of the Augusta Stake. Not Catholic. And not Boston. But the police didn't want to listen to that. And when the news reports went out, they connected my uncles to the Catholic Priests of Boston, but once again, the news reporters got it wrong.



And that's the way it always is. The police show up with questions, assuming I know something about some event, that I've never heard of, involving people, I had no clue was related to me, and they are so hung up on getting some big bust in the news, that they ignore the reality of the situation, every time. 



So yeah, there are the news reports, claiming my crazy child abusing uncle was one of Heaven's Gate's leaders, claiming my air force pilot uncle who had a giant full color catalog of photos of little girls whom he bought through the mail via that Russian catalog and making videos of dogs fucking them calling him a Russian spy. And then they come in with some uncle I never heard of working with some other guy I never heard of, who's supposedly famous or something. 



The Clan is huge, yes, but it's based out of Nova Scotia in Canada... in another country. And the bulk of them run their business out of Salt Lake City in Utah... 10s of 1,000s of miles away, half way on the other side of the globe... while the one with the most warrants for him, is in Australia. And I've never meet any of them or their wives or their children or their grand children or their great grand children. I don't even know their names. I've never even seen pictures of them. I've never had any type of contact with a single one of any of them. The ONLY ones I knew, were the ones here in Maine, who worked for that blond "Mark" guy with the German Shepard. 



And YET... every other month, there they are again, the police or the FBI, back again, because hey, we've yet again arrested one of these people you never heard of before and didn't know you were related to, but they are connected with this big case we are working on and we want to sensationalize the news reports, we're here to intergate you about this relative you never meet, never heard of, and didn't know existed, because every other relative of theirs slammed the door in our face and you're the only one who would let us in your house... oh, wait you don't have a house, you live under a tarp, and you didn't actually let us in, we started stopping around your yard without your permission.



I wouldn't mind helping the police and FBI, if I actually knew what the fuck they were talking about, who the fuck they were talking about. But the thing is I don't.



And when I tell them I don't know anything, they point out, well you said you would help... yeah, I did... and if I knew anything I would, but I don't so I can't.



Do you have any idea how annoying this is?



I'm related to 4,000+ fucking criminals, only 30 of whom, I've ever meet, know the names of, or ever even heard of... and because these people who I don't even know, share the same DNA as me, the police think, well I must know them somehow, and they can't find any leads, so let's ask her a million and one questions that we already know she doesn't know the answer to, because we don't have anything better to do right now.



The uncles, I new anything about, were the ones who raised me and they are dead now, except for one. I don't know the others.



Why can't they just let me live in peace.



I mean I get that the police are trying to do their job, but this is borderline harassment. If they were doing their jobs better, they would already know I've never had a connection to those 4,000+ relatives they claim I have. And that's another thing... I only have the police officers' word on that. 



The family I can account for are: my grandfather had 2 wives, 15 children by 1, 3 died in childbirth, 1 died at age 3. 11 reached adulthood. My mother was #8. Of the 7 boys and 4 girls, they had in total 64 children via their 1st spouses. Those 64 children went on to have just over 300 children with their 1st spouses. In total, I can account for 400 people in my family, NOT the 4,000 total that the police give. Who those 4,000 other are, I don't know... because they are NOT related to the original 12. The Atwater Clan has 400 people, not 4,000 like the police claim. And of those 400 I only names of the 30 I've meet.



Do they not take into account how I was raised? In a cage! In a fucking cage! For 31 years! How exactly do they expect me to know anyone other then the 5 uncles who tortured me, and the handful of adult cousins who helped them?



All the police talk about Heaven's Gate, Isis, Russian Spies... I know nothing of those things. What I do know, David demanded memorizing scripture and if I misquoted he's use a shovel to cut off a cat's head, while Bruce fired up his masonry drill to drill a 2 foot long foundation nail through my leg, while Richard pulled out a camcorder to film it. Every Sunday, I was allowed out of the cage, so we could all go to church, Cape Elizabeth Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saint, Agusta Stake. I was instructed to never say a word. If I got caught talking to anyone, I got a cinder block to the face when we got home. Over those 31 years, I went to 16 Bishops, told them what was happening and begged for help. They never looked into it. From the time I was 14 until the the time I had surgery at age 42, it was believed I was mute, but I wasn't and I couldn't tell anyone, because my jaw was broken so bad, from it having been broken with a cinder block so many times, that I could no longer talk. Bruce was brick layer, he used bricks and mason nails to torture me. That is what I know. 



I didn't even know there were 140 other children there. I found that out from the news reporters after the FBI. I never saw those 140 children. Those 31 years I was locked up, I thought I was the only child there. I had no idea there were others. To this day, I've never even meet the others. The police never even told me their names. My entire life was spent in that cage.



I had chicken pox when I was 6. Small red pimple blisters covered my face and chest. I had a high fever and a week later it was gone.



Then when I was 13, my parents and my uncles, claimed I had chicken pox again. But this time was vastly different. Giant blackish-red wart-like thing, covered the palms of my hands, the souls of my feet, my back, my face, and the inside of my mouth and lungs. I almost died. I was on a liquid diet for 8 months, because the bumble-like blisters in my mouth were over and inch across, and I couldn't open or close my moth to eat. They kept me on the floor in the living room. One of the few times I wasn't left locked in that room. The swelling of my palms and soles was so bad that my hands and feet were not recognizable as either hands or feet. It lasted for months. 



When I was 42, doctors ran bloodwork on me, they said I had strange symptoms. Like I was suffering the after effects of having had a life threatening illness. They asked, if I ever had, and I told them about the 2nd time I had chicken pox.



The doctor went white. She said what I decided, most definitely was not chicken pox. Chicken pox doesn't do that. The next words out of her mouth were: "Have you ever been to Russia?" No. But one of my uncle lived their 6 months of the year. His wife was Russian. Her family lived in America 6 months of the year.



She went to her office and got a book. Huge college text book for medical students, and in it was a chart that should lots of different types of pox. She said: "Point to the one that looks like what you had." I did. She looked like she'd seen a ghost. Put the book away and said: "We need to test your blood." A few weeks later, she was telling me: "You had small pox. It's not possible, but you did. The Major, why was he in Russia?"



I don't know. His office was in the Pentagon. He was an intelligence officer. That's what lead to his being investigated for being a Russian spy. Because I had Small Pox, in America in the 1980s. So in come the police with more questions. And me, I have no answers. I was just child locked in a cage. The guinea pig for my uncles apparently, so I'm now told.



But that's what destroyed my lungs.



That's why I can't talk above a whisper.



That's why you can't hear me well, in spite of good audio equipment.



With my audio equipment you should hear me clear as a bell.



But my lungs are full of scars, and every breath I take hurts like hell.



Small Pox.



That's why I have to be so extra careful to avoid Covid-19.



Someone whose lungs are as damaged as mine, Covid-19 would be a death sentence.



I escaped the hell of living with my uncles, and now live in the hell of being one of the few survivors willing to help the law take them down, so have no moments peace every time any one gets a lead on where one of my uncles, aunts, or cousins might be.



Playing video games is the only escape I have from the nightmare that is my every day life.



I would like to have just one place in my life where I can have some freedom once and for all from the hell of my uncles and their criminal lifestyle.



Twitch was that place.



Twitch was where I came to have a few minutes of freedom from the hell I live with offline.



It's WHY I kept EVERYTHING about my life OFF Twitch.



And you fucking bastards went and brought it here!



Why?



The news reports called it "The Worst Child Abuse Case In American History" others called it "Maine's House of Horrors". And a jackass streamer called it "BDSM fetish".



We were tortured by men who were monsters, and that's why I really don't like it when that streamer ran around saying this stuff was BDSM. Criminal men, torturing children who were only 8 years old, is NOT BDSM. And there is something wrong with you, if you say it is.




And she gathered up 300,000 Discord followers to help her spread that lie around the internet, and with it, a lot of other lies about my past... so now here it is... my past, as so many of you wanted to know about.



Do you understand NOW why I buried my past and kept saying I did not want to talk about it?



I kept everything separate from Twitch. Heaven's Gate, my uncles, my childhood, everything in my offline life, I never brought any of it to Twitch. 



None of it. 



I made my channel all about the game, Witcher 3 and ONLY the game and nothing else. I kept everything from my life separate from Twitch.



And this woman, this streamer, she became obsessed with me, dug up my past, found news reports, interviews, blogs, magazines, newspapers... she dug up everything she could find, and used it to make make 5 hour long daily Twitch streams about me. She flooded Twitch with all the events from my past that I put so much effort into keeping out of Twitch.



I didn't want it here.



I kept Twitch as a safe zone, a place I could go to try to forget.



I can't sleep I have post traumatic stress disorder, night terrors, obsessive compulsive disorder, and agoraphobia.



I have a raging phobia of guns and sex and men. I avoid those things like the plague.



I threw all of my streaming focus into the game, to try to block out everything going on in my life.



Why did she bring all of that here?



Why did she her followers here to torment me about a past, I want to forget?



Why did they think it was something they have fun making sex jokes about?



#It is very messed up to reveal someone's private personal information like that, especial when it is such extremely sensitive and traumatic private information.



What this fucking piece of shit did is below low. She is one fucked up piece of shit. What kind of a person does something like this?



I grew up in a fucking hell, raised by monsterous men who tortured us, and when I escaped that hell, I wanted to leave it and never look back, never think of it again, never be reminded of it, start a new life. 



It's why I never talked about it. 



It's why I never told anyone about it.



I wanted to forget it.



You ill mannered delinquents, you stepped some HUGE boundary lines.



And every one of the 300,000 of you involved in this horrendous attack on me, on every social media, you all out to be ashamed of yourselves.



All 300,000 of you, you are all vile, despicable, evil, horrible people.



It was bad enough that she dug all that up and brought it here to Twitch and sent people to my channel to hound me about it... but then she did all that filthy sex stuff on top of that. She couldn't stop with just digging up my past and my connection to fucking Heaven's Gate... no! No, that wasn't enough for her. Then she had to rub salt in the wound by making up filthy ass sex lies about me and spreading those all over the internet.



What the fuck is wrong with her?



What is wrong with everyone in her community?



It's bad enough she started it, but why the hell did so many people join her in it?



Why did any of them take any part in any of this?



Evil people do evil things. Life is difficult enough on it's own, without evil people coming along and making it worse.



I am deeply distressed and upset over this whole thing.




And if you have any information about my uncles or their clan or their accomplices, don't give it to me, give it to the FBI agent in charge of the investigation: *FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322*

Wait... you're that freak that brought otherkin to the internet aren't you? You're like the founder of online otherkin awareness movement or something.

Yes.

I am.

I did on some level introduce OtherKin, or rather, ElfKin, to the internet in 1996.

I am considered to be one of, if not the VERY FIRST OtherKin to grace the internet.

Though, I am ElfKin, not OtherKin. They are different.

I completely reject Humanity.

I live my life, as an Elf.

I have done so, since 1987. 

As of 2020, I have lived as an Elf for 33 years.

I hate Humans.

I feel no empathy, sympathy, or compassion for Humans.

I see Humans as vile, evil creatures, whom I share no connection to.

I feel nothing but revulsion for Humans.

There has never been a point in my life when a Human showed me any kindness, love, or compassion.

I have been tortured, beaten, caged, raped, shunned, outcast, ostracized, and bullied endlessly by Humans.

The Humans who raised me, kept me locked in a cage from the time I was 8, until I was 31 years old. They said they did so because I was not a Human and was not allowed to participate in Human activities like eating at the table, sleeping on a bed, using a toilet, or bathing. They said I was a Changeling, brought to them by Demons. They claimed the real Human baby was taken from them, and I was a Demon left in it's place. And while I agreed with them, that I had no similarities to their Human nature, I did not believe myself a Demon either.

I was 31 years old the first time anyone told me I was a Human. But no one has yet been able to prove to me that I possess the evilness of Humans. 

Unlike Humans, I feel love.

Unlike Humans, I feel pain.

Unlike Humans, I shed tears.

Unlike Humans, I feel empathy.

Unlike Humans, I feel sympathy.

Unlike Humans, I feel compassion.

I have tried for 40 years, to live among Humans, but I've yet to meet a Human that will accept me as a part of their society.

I have never been welcomed by any Human.

I have never been accepted by any Human.

The older I get and the more Humans I meet, the crueler I learn that they are, the stronger my hatred for the entirety of Humanity grows.

I searched for years to find out, what I was, where I fit in, where I belonged, for everywhere I went, I was repeatedly told I was too strange, too bizarre, too different, too alien, too not-Human to be welcomed in any group, any church, and community, offline or online.

Since I was a toddler I felt a strong kinship to Eels and Cats, thus my name. My Native American grandmother named me EelKat when I was 3 years old, citing that Eels and Cats were my spirit animals.

My other grandmother called me FarSighted, because I talked to ArchAngels and Faeries in the forest. She said I walked through the veil between the Spirit World. She died when I was 8 years old.

As I grew older, and continued to be ostracized by all of Human society, I started researching the things Grammy Eva and Grammy Helen has said: Spirit Animals, Fairy Sighted, and Walking the Veil. That is when I realized, everyone was right... my parents, my uncles, everyone at every church I ever attended, random strangers I meet on the streets... every one, every single Human, as always said, I either was not Human, didn't act Human, or seemed to be Alien to Human Society, like I came from another world. 

The Humans who raised me, kept me locked in a cage from the time I was 8, until I was 31 years old. They said they did so because I was not a Human and was not allowed to participate in Human activities like eating at the table, sleeping on a bed, using a toilet, or bathing. They said I was a Changeling, brought to them by Demons. They claimed the real Human baby was taken from them, and I was a Demon left in it's place. And while I agreed with them, that I had no similarities to their Human nature, I did not believe myself a Demon either. And decades later, after researching, I feel they were right. 

The more I studied, the more I realized, everything I do that Humans say is strange and bizarre, things like love, feeling pain, shedding tears, empathy, sympathy, or compassion, those things Humans are incapable of doing, that I do and brand me as starkly notHuman, they were all things the Ljósálfar do.

So I researched the Ljósálfar. They do many thing I do, that Humans find to be my most deplorable traits: like growing flowers, being vegan, and not hurting animals, shunning drinking of alcohol, smoking, drugs, or owning weapons. 

I eventually came to believe I am an Elf trapped in the world of Humans, as some sort of test.

No. I do not believe I am Human.

Yes. I do believe I am an Elf.

Yes, I AM that "freak" who introduced the internet to the concept of OtherKin, via ElfKin, in 1996.

Yes, I am the textbook standard, found in actual medical books, used by Psychiatry students, yes, those are photos of me you see in your college textbooks and in the Journal of Psychiatry entry. I am the first one diagnosed and therefore the standard by which all OtherKin are measured. 

Yes, I am the measure by which all OtherKin around the world measure if they too are OtherKin or not. But I wonder how many of them, know the origin of the term OtherKin and how many of them would call themselves that label is the ACTUALLY KNEW, the ACTUAL origin and meaning of the word?

OtherKin is not a label I use to call myself. The term OtherKin was coined by team of Psychiatrists, who didn't know what else to call me. They classified me at first as "a Feral Child with Learned Schizophrenia", citing that while I didn't have Schizophrenia, all 5 of the uncles and their father, who raised me did have Schizophrenia and because I was raised in total isolation with zero contact with anyone outside of these men, I was raised as though what they were was normal because I had no outside source by which to judge that how they raised children was not normal, nor was how they lived their lives normal. I was told by these Psychiatrists, that once I got out in Human society and found out what mainstream society was like, I would see, how different, how unique, how bizarre, and how unusual and not the norm, my uncles were.

I have lived among mainstream society for 33 years now and I have yet to meet a kind, loving, friendly Human. 

This group of Social Workers, Psychologists, and Psychiatrists, coined the term OtherKin, because they said there was nothing I conformed to, no textbook illness that matched what I was. They toyed with the idea of diagnosing me many different ways because they said that on the surface I seemed like this or that, but then, comparing all the symptoms, I never fully matched up.

Schizophrenia didn't stick because there were no voices in my head telling me what to do. After tossing out the option of Schizophrenia, they tried out Multiple Personality Disorder and also Dissociative Identity Disorder. But, I don't have multiple people I become. Both of those have the requirement of becoming someone else, another person. MPD you are unaware of the other people "living in you" while DID you are fully aware of the "other people" and communicate with them and likely have a lot of past life experiences. I don't believe in past lives or reincarnation or being multiple people inside of one mind. I dress up in costumes of characters, but I never try to be that character, I simply like to wear their pretty clothes. 

They tried considering Asperger's for a bit, but I missed many, many, many a mark there.

In the end my official diagnosis is: Actual Autism Kanner's Syndrome, with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and SchizoAffective or maybe Schizotypal tendencies, I can't tell, and the most bizarre behaviour of refusing to believe she is Human, largely because she was raised in an isolated UFO Cult that raised her as a Demon from infancy to middle age. She has many phobias most notable a severe and disturbing phobia of Humans in general and Men in particular. There is no correct diagnosis for her. She is unique. This is a unique case. I am putting in a request to the State for funding to study her. This is something new. This needs to be studied. We are witnessing the side effect of child who was raised in total isolation. A child that was never loved, never kissed, never hugged, never showed empathy, sympathy, or compassion. She feels nothing for Humans. She does not believe she is Human. There has never been a documented case like this before. This is the worse case of child abuse in American history. 

I did not found any "OtherKin Awareness Groups" as is the common internet misconception. I don't even use the term OtherKin. It's a label OTHERS slap on me, as further proof that I don't belong in Human society, am not Human enough to fit in, not Human enough to be welcomed, not Human enough to be included. That's all the label OtherKin means to me. Yet more proof that Humans hate me, see me as not Human, and feel the need to put a label on me. 

But I am the standard by which all who claim to be OtherKin, measure if each other is OtherKin or not, because I am the textbook case, the original test subject, that caused Psychiatrists to coin the term OtherKin, so most people believe I am the "first" OtherKin, even though groups like The Silver Elves existed in the 1970s, long before the FBI raid that rescued me from one of the Heaven's Gate compounds.

No. I do not try to bring awareness to the "OtherKin Movement". OtherKin is a psychological disorder that for some odd reason, teens and young adults, think of as some sort of roleplaying, cosplaying movement. They don't know what it is. They never looked up any medical journals or psychiatry textbooks. They change what they are on a whim, a Vampire today because they love Twilight, a Witcher tomorrow because they saw the NetFlix series, SpiderMan next week after they watch that movie. They don't know what OtherKin is. It's not a fandom. It's not roleplay. It's not dressing up. And you're a fool if think that's what it is.

People get the misconception that it is roleplaying and cosplaying because I am prone to dress up in elaborate costumes. I like their clothes. It's as simple as that. I'm trying to be them. I don't roleplay them. I don't pretend I am them. I simply like to wear their clothes, in the exact same way, every teenage girl in school has to wear the same t-shirt as her best friend.

When the OtherKin diagnosis was coined, I didn't yet wear costumes. I'd never seen TV or movies or video games. I'd never been to school or doctors. I had no point of reference for what any of these characters would have looked like. The wearing of elaborate costume came about almost a decade AFTER Psychiatrists coined the term OtherKin to describe me.

OtherKin, was referencing my refusal to accept the fact that I was Human, when Social Workers, Psychologists, and Psychiatrists tried to convince me that I was not a Changeling Demon switched at birth like the adults who raised me had taught me to believe.

OtherKin, was referencing the fact that my combined hatred for and phobia of Humans was so great that I had no ability to believe I was a Human, when they told me I was.

OtherKin, it's ACTUAL Journal of Psychiatry definition, is very simply: The belief that one is not Human and is something other than Human. That's what OtherKin means.

Anyone who tells you OtherKin is anything else, has no clue what OtherKin is, knows nothing about it's history, knows nothing about how the term was coined, and is completely clueless about OtherKin in general.

People like to come in saying things like: "Well, because I think OtherKin is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of OtherKin to include ___"

No. OtherKin is an ACTUAL MEDICAL DISORDER... you don't walk into a doctors office and say: 

  • "Well, because I think Cancer is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of Cancer to include ___"
  • "Well, because I think Asthma is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of Asthma to include ___"
  • "Well, because I think being stung by a bee is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of being stung by a bee to include ___"
  • "Well, because I think broken bones are about ___ I think we should change the meaning of broken bones to include ___"
  • "Well, because I think Influenza is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of Influenza to include ___"
  • "Well, because I think Diabetes is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of AIDS to include ___"
  • "Well, because I think SmallPox is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of SmallPox to include ___"

Now can you now see how utterly stupid and idiotic people are when they say: "Well, because I think OtherKin is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of OtherKin to include ___"?

And, no, OtherKin is not the thing where, you wake up one morning and feel like wearing a cat ears headband, so that therefore makes you a cat.

The problem with OtherKin is there is far too much misinformation out there about what OtherKin is, written largely by know-nothing 10 year old children who couldn't tell their ass from a hole in the ground, and think that because they want to wear a headband with cat ears, that gives them to authority to rewrite the definition of medical illnesses.

OtherKin is a mental disorder. It's not a movement. Not a trend. Not a fad. But for some reason, in the last 20 years or so, people have thought it "cool" to "be OtherKin" so, they jumped on a bandwagon to try to be something that they really had no idea what it actually was.

Today, because, thanks to Tumblr and Instagram, OtherKin is now interchangeable with Furries and CosPlay, the OFFICIAL diagnosis of the Mental Illness as listed in the Journal of Psychiatry has been changed from OtherKin to Species Dysphoria, to definasciate from the the actual mental illness of not believing one is Human and the current fad trend of dressing up roleplaying.

People who say I started a movement or awareness groups or claim I try to bring awareness to the OtherKin movement, have no clue who or what I am and are talking out their asses. They don't know me. They do not speak for me. And they certainly don't understand me or how I live my life.

What's your thought on fictionkin? Do you think fictionkin is valid? I'm just a bit curious to know. Personally I think it's really neat! Is that what you do?

No.

I am not FictionKin.

I am EelKin turned ElfKin, according to people who believe in Kinship.

I don't move in OtherKin circles, groups, or communities. 

I am considered the "first" or "original" OtherKin, by many in the "OtherKin community" and I hate it, because I have never identified as OtherKin and deeply dislike labels being slapped onto me by vile Humans who try translate what they think I am.

What are labels? A label is simply a way to point at someone and say: "they are not Human enough to be accepted in society". That's all any label is.

And that is all any Human has ever done to me. Label me as this, label me as that.

Never once has ANY Human, ever thought to look at me as another Human, as another member of society, as a potential friend.

Because I am technically "the first" OtherKin, seeing how I was the patient in question, when the team of Social Workers, Psychologists, and Psychiatrists coined the term. I am a patient who was undiagnosable and had "something new", and "OtherKin" was the working title. But because I am technically "the first" OtherKin, I am constantly being contacted by founders, creators, and moderators of groups, forums, subreddits, Discords, FaceBook groups, and other various assorted online communities. I don't know why. I think they see me as a "celebrity" in terms of OtherKin. I'm supposedly the "ideal OtherKin" whom others try to be like.

But... I'm not trying to "be" anything. I don't even call myself OtherKin or ElfKin or EelKin or UnicornKin or CatKin or FoxKin, all of those being types of Kins that people has used to describe me.

I accept the invites and then never post in their communities or groups, because I find myself incredibly uncomfortable around most people who call themselves "OtherKin", because 99.9% of the ones I've encountered are very clearly teenagers and young kids in their 20s who are just trying to be part of a club. They don't actually have post traumatic stress disorder, they know nothing about child abuse or rape, or witnessing multiple murders, or trying to cope with being raised in a cage from the age of 8 years old to 31 years old while also being raised to believe you were a demo, because the adults in your life had schizophrenia and couldn't tell the difference between children and demons. They don't know what it is like to be 31 years old the first time any one ever suggested to you that you might actually be a human, and everything the adults taught you about your lack of Humanity was a lie.

When I accept the invites to join these groups, I go there, hoping to find others like myself, who were never Human, not once from their time of birth. I go there hoping to find others like myself, who were rejected by Humans from the day they were born. But all I ever find are happy go lucky juvenile delinquents rebelling by wearing cat-ear headbands while licking milk out of a bowl.  They ENJOY pretending to be animals. They have fun, partying in their fur tails. They have no trauma. They know nothing about OtherKin and it's origins. What OtherKin is or how the word got coined.

The bulk of them are just a group of kids looking for a party where they can dress up in costumes. Only this and nothing more. And that is not OtherKin. Not even close.

Now, that is not to say there is anything wrong with what you are, no matter what you are or how you identify. Your identity is certainly valid and should be acknowledged. I'm not saying it's invalid or should be pushed aside or ignored. What I'm saying is, chances are very high that what you are classifying as OtherKin, is not in fact OtherKin.

That's the problem with online OtherKin communities. They spread far too much misinformation and leave actual, correct information spread far too thin and this leads to a lot of confusion.

The thing is I AM the ACTUAL MEDICAL, psychiatric definition of OtherKin, and it's incredibly rare to the point that fewer then 100 people have ever, EVER been diagnosed with it EVER. Fewer then 100 people in all of the millions of years of this Earth having existed. That's not many people.

And yet, there are MILLIONS of OtherKin, so called, self proclaimed OtherKin just on Tumblr, and not a one of them has a clue what OtherKin even is and that's painfully obvious.

The problem with the invites to join these groups, is I'm not what they think I am. They expect me to be a roleplaying party animal like them and I'm not.

And the fact remains - I hate Humans, and they are just Humans dressed like cats and dogs. 

Let me repeat this: I HATE HUMANS.

I WISH HUMANS WOULD DIE. ALL OF THEM. I HATE THEM.

And you want me to join your little group of pretenders? I hate every one of you and you think ha-ha oh she's being in character. 

No.

I really do hate Humans.

No Human has EVER given me a reason to think otherwise.

No Human has ever been my friend.

Not one.

Not Ever.

None.

Every Human I have ever met, pretends to be my friend for a few days, then they turn into cruel, hateful, backstabbing bastards.

Humans are incapable of love, friendship, compasion, sympathy.

Humans are evil.

Humans are cruel.

Humans are sadistic.

Humans enjoy hurting others.

Humans are hateful creatures who do nothing hurt everyone in their path.

And if you don't understand THAT, well, Honey, then you CERTAINLY Are NOT OtherKin.

OtherKin is not about your spiritual awakening, your identification with an animal guide... OtherKin is the hatred of Humans, on levels so extreme, that wish all Humans would die.

OtherKin is about you NOT being Human and seperating yourself from Humans because Humans are pieces of shit.

Humans can not be trusted.

Never turn your back on a Human.

Humans lie.

Humans cheat.

Humans steal.

Humans murder.

Humans torture.

There is NOTHING good in a Human.

And if you are ACTUAL, REAL, MEDICALLY DIAGNOSED as OtherKin, then I don't need to tell you that, because you already know evil Humans are.

Humans exist to kill, steal, and destroy. Only this and nothing more. There is nothing else in Humanity.

And the online OtherKin Communities who send me invites to join them.... I've yet to encounter one, single, solitary, actual, real, medically diagnosed OtherKin in any of them. And I've checked them all, and encountered well over a million people who claim to be OtherKin.

I go there are look, in hopes that one day, i will find someone, like myself, who is not Human and has never been accepted by Humans. But there is no one like me. Not surprising, seeing how in all the milinia of the Earth, fewer then 100 people have ever been diagnosed.

 And the online OtherKin Communities who send me invites to join them....They do what everyone does and start rumors about me, gossiping among themselves about what they THINK I am, and they build up fanfiction, fantasy worlds about me, that have no basis in reality. They hyped up and excited, fall in love with the fictional version of me that they created in their heads, and then find themselves deeply disapointed when they actually talk to me for the first time and find out that 100% of everything they liked about me, was just fiction made up them, themselves.

Labels. They label me into a group and they love the IDEA of me as that label in that group, but then, meeting me shatters their fantasies about me, when they realize, I'm not what they told themselves I was.

That's the problem with OtherKin and people who call me OtherKin.

You see, they think I'm joking when I say I hate Humans, but I could show you a copy of my psychological evaluation, and the entire section, where the psychiatrist worried about my server homicidal desire to kill all Humans.

I'm not joking when I tell you, that if you act even remotely Human in my presence, I will pull a brick out of my tote bag and smash your jaw in. I've done it many times.  

My psychological evaluation, has a full section, of worries that I show no empathy for Humans on any level what so ever, to the point of extreme Sociopathy. Yes, that's a word in my evaluation.

Far too many people look at my being the original "OtherKin" patient, and don't read the full report. They giddy with joy, thinking I'm play acting, role playing, pretending. I'm not. I don't joke. I never joke. Do you know why? I'll tell you why.

My uncles, while beating me in the face with a shovel when I was 8, or breaking my jaw with a cinder block brick when I was 14, or stabbing my arms with forks when I was 4, or driving a 2 foot long foundation nail through my hip leaving me crippled ever since I was 6 years old, or cutting the bottoms of my feet with rusted saw blades when I was 13.... or any of the hundreds of similar things they did.... while they did it, they always said the same thing: "It's just a joke, hahahahahahahaha!", "I'm only joking, hahahahahahaha!"

I have scars all over my body.... scars from wounds that bled for days. Wounds that should have been seen by a doctor. Wounds, that they filled with maggots, because they kept maggots in jars for that reason.

Do you know what it feels like to have you hands chained to cinder blocks, and forks driven into your arms with a hammer, that drove the tines in all the way to the bone,  another fork put in, the wound torn open, and maggots poured in, as the adults around you laughed and slapped each other on the back over the good fun joke they were doing, because, the 5 year old girl they are torturing, is not Human, so it doesn't matter, because she's just a changeling left behind by Demons who took the real child. Have you ever watched maggots crawl under your skin then chew their way back out. And finally pass out hours later, and be left there unconscious for days in pools of your own blood. And when you wake up, the adults are disapointed, that you, the Demon Changeling is still alive.

That's what I grew up with.

I was 31 years old when the FBI raid rescued me.

My entire first 31 years of life, was spent being daily tortured, daily told it was okay, because I wasn't Human anyways.

The end result is the only thing in my mind that is more evil then rape and murder, is a joke.

And you'll find out how fast I beat you to a pulp if you dare say word joke in my presence. A joke is the only thing more triggering to me than rape.

Still think you are OtherKin or you know anything about me and my life, how much I hate Humans, or the fact that OtherKin was a term created by Psychiatrists, as a working title to diagnose me, the child who survived "the world child abuse case in American history"?

Yeah. the "OtherKin Community" has a vastly warped view of who I am, and why I'm the way I am.

When you ask me questions about OtherKin and CosPlay and RolePlay... and worse, when you try to sexualize anything about me or make mems about me and say you are just joking... you just make me hate Humans even more. Because you can call yourself OtherKin all you want, but you, running around playing and joking and laughing and smiling, you forget, I don't do any of those things. 

Jokes. Laughing. Smiling..... I see those things as a threat and a reason to fight back. And clearly the OtherKin Community knows nothing of trauma, torture, and abuse at the hands of Humans.

OtherKin, it's ACTUAL Journal of Psychiatry definition, is very simply: The belief that one is not Human and is something other than Human. That's what OtherKin means.

If you believe something, you have no doubts, so you would never ask "Am I OtherKin?".

I have yet to find an OtherKin on any online community, who TRULY BELIEVED they were not Human. They will tell you they feel connected, they say they no longer want to be Human. Most acknowledge themselves as the spirit of a non-Human living in a Human body.

Answer me this... how can you stop being Human if you don't believe you are Human? Only someone who believes they are Human would say they want to stop being Human.

They build character sheets, detailing the backstory of their alternate being. But if the being IS YOU, then your life, your childhood, your experiance ARE your backstory. If you had to write a character backstory, you are not OtherKin, you are Multiple Personality Disorder or Dissociative Identity Disorder.

OtherKin you are YOU. You are just not Human and not accepted by Humans as Human. You live with Humans and your experiences with them, are very simply the experiences you have every day, and you don't need to sit down and write a backstory. There is no backstory in OtherKin.

Me? I wouldn't know the first thing about feeling Human, because I never was Human. I never had a transition. I never shifted. I never felt the need to STOP being Human, because there was never a point from the day I was born, when anyone ever acknowledge me as being Human.

But, let's answer your question. My email inbox is so full of so many OtherKin questions. Someday I'll get around to answering them. Let's start with your's.

When you ask me about what type of OtherKin I am, it is immediately clear that you know nothing about me, my history, or the history of the origins of the word OtherKin.

The first known group of OtherKin was ElfKin and was The Silver Elves, and the group still exists. They were founded in 1978. I joined them in 1987. I did not remain Silver Elf, as I found more of a connection to Elves in general, and they were a bit more "religion focused" (like they wanted people to obey their set of rules and such, with was too restrictive for me and contrary to how I felt Eves were). Because of the connection to spiritual teachings, in America The Silver Elves are considered a "legally recognized religion" by the Federal government (same as Catholic, Wicca, Baptist, LDS/Mormon, Voodoo, etc are considered as such). They are really connected to the spiritual and religious side of OtherKin and I liked that a lot.

The term OtherKin, was coined in 1997 by a group of Social Workers, Psychologists, and Psychiatrists and was the working title of the mental illness that would eventually become known as Species Dysphoria.

So calling groups like The Silver Elves "OtherKin" is questionable at best, but they are considered by most "OtherKin" to be the first "OtherKin Group", even though their compound was founded in 1978 and the term OtherKin was coined in 1997.

Being older (elderly) and an ElfKin for 40+ years now, I've seen the OtherKin movement evolve and change a lot. There is always something in it that makes me go: "What the f...?" 

But there is never a point when I think: "They are not valid because of ____." 

It's always just a reaction of more: "Wow! Boy do they have a completely different take on OtherKin than what I've always thought it was." 

And then after I think about it I'm: "Yeah, yeah, I can see how they feel that way. Yep, that makes sense."

I think, because I'm a lot older, and got into it via The Silver Elves originally, I end up taking a very spiritual/religious outlook on it, where I see Elves sort of as my "spirit animals" so to speak... and it seems like, more recently, especially in teens and 20s age group, their take on OtherKin is more, like Dissociative Identity Disorder, like they actually believe they REALLY ARE an Elf or Wolf or whatever. 

The first time I heard of the new form of OtherKin, the "I'm not a Human, I'm a Dog" type, my mind was: "Wow! That's crazy!" You see, I look at OtherKin as "I'm channeling the spiritual energy of the Dog, not, I literally become a Dog because I don't want to be Human any more." So, at first, I just had a hard time wrapping my mind around the new "Tumblr style" OtherKin. But then, the more I thought about it, the more I realized, no, it's not crazy, because they are doing the same thing I'm ding, they are just doing it differently.

I mean, I use guided meditations and visualizations and oracle cards to connect with the spirit world and it's energy, and for me, connecting to Elf energy and Unicorn energy and ArchAngel energy has always been the best/easiest way for me to do that. And in guided meditation, you often focus on mentally becoming the Elf or Fox or Raven or whatever your spirit guide is, and so yeah, thinking of it that way, suddenly the new style of OtherKin didn't seem crazy to me anymore and I realized, they are just like me, only different.

And then I heard of FictionKin and I was like mind blown. I was like: "OMG, you don't really believe you actually ARE Harry Potter, do you?"

But then almost immediately I was reminded how many times people said to me: "OMG, you don't really believe you actually ARE Lord Sesshomaru, do you?" because I "CosPlayed" him for 9 years... not to conventions, no, I dressed like him 24/7/365 every day for 9 years, around the house, to go shopping, just all day, every day.

People interviewing me about that back in 2005 and 2007 is one of the early things that brought OtherKin to the internet. When people asked why, if I thought I was him, I would say: "No. I'm channeling his energy. I feel more connected to his energy when I dress like him. I'm not trying to be him."

And then I did the same thing with Quaraun for 7 years. And for the past 3 years I've done the same thing with Avallac'h. And yeah, these are fictional characters. Which, I guess, maybe, would cause other people to see me as FictionKin? But they are all Elves, and I am ElfKin and I'm not trying to be or become the Elf in question, rather I feel better able to connect to spiritual Elf energy, when I dress like a fictional Elf from a novel. It's more like I borrowed the Elf's clothes and just wear them.

It's like weighted blankets. They protect you and help you sleep. Same thing. I have PTSD, OCD, Kanner's Syndrome, and Agoraphobia. The longest I have gone without setting foot outside of the house was 15 years.

I was horribly abused by my uncles and several of their male friends from their church as a child and as a result, I developed a crippling fear of Humans in general and Men in particular, and than, as an adult, years later, I was raped and that brought back all the mental trauma memories of what my uncles did, and I don't know what happened, but my mind was just mentally crippled after that, to the point that I locked myself in my room and did not leave it for 15 years.

2006, I went outside for the first time, in 15 years, and I was only able to do so, by wearing a costume of Lord Sesshomaru. When you read the books, he's fearless. He can walk through crowds and he doesn't care who thinks what, and if someone tries to hurt him or his friends, he would never let the attacker hurt them. He's fiercely protective of Rin, the Human girl who travels with him. He has a fearless energy to him. Very powerful fearless energy, and I wanted to feel that.

I wanted to be able to go outside, without being terrified men would hurt me. And I tried for weeks, months, to go outside. I'd get to the door and I'd freeze. A mental block made my body so rigid I couldn't move my feet to get out the door. My agoraphobia was that bad.

So, I started meditating, channel Lord Sesshomaru's energy. And it healed, but it didn't help enough. So I ordered fabric, fur, leather, bolt of silk from Japan, from eBay and Amazon, and I made what went down in history as both the most expensive and most insanely elaborate Lord Sesshomaru CosPlay ever made. And, when I put it on, I was able to walk outside of my house for the first time in 15 years. 

It was like, before I channeling his energy, but now, he was there with me. It's the only way I know how to explain it.

I still have severe agoraphobia today. But since 2006, I can go outside, IF, I dress up like an Elf. The stronger the Elf the better. A powerful protecting spirit.

That's why I now CosPlay Avallac'h. There's no one, more protective then he is. It's what he's known for. His fierce protectiveness of Ciri, the Human girl who travels with him is beyond Lord Sesshomaru's protectiveness of Rin. He won't let anyone hurt her. He'll die to to keep her safe. So I retired the Lord Sesshomaru CosPlay and made the Avallac'h CosPlay, my new protecting spirit. An Elf, but also, a Fictional Character.

He's not real. I'm aware he's not real. But that doesn't change the fact that I can draw on his fierce protective energy, to be able to go outside, go shopping, not have to buy everything online or have others buy things for me and deliver it. I can do it myself, dressed like an Elf, but at least I'm outside.

The fact remains, there's never been a real man in my life who DID NOT hurt me. I grew up with drug dealers. Real life gangsters. They killed people. Throughout my childhood and teen years I had witness multiple murders, Brutal. Violent. I was beaten and locked in cages. I watched them kill people, then turn around and threaten to kill me if I ever told anyone.

Today most of them are dead, in prison, or on the run from the FBI. There was never a time in my life when I felt safe, and around men, I felt less safe. There has never been anyone there for me. No mental support. No emotional support. No one to protect me from the men I grew up with, or the gangs they had shot outs with.

I would read books, while hiding under a blanket to try to blockout the screaming and yelling and gun fire. None of the children were allowed to go to school or doctors. We lived on a farm, in the forest, miles from the nearest anything, fenced in and guarded by riflemen. No one had birth certificates or SSNs. No paper trail. No adults outside the clan to turn to for help. I would read books, while hiding under a blanket and praying for someone to please help me. It was none stop terror every day, all day, my entire childhood. Fictional men in books, where my only friends. I was drawn to men who protected children, especially men who protected little girls.

Lord Sesshomaru protected Rin, an 8 year old girl.

Avallac'h protected Ciri, a 12 year old girl.

That's why I was drawn to them. They are strong men who protect little girls from evil men. 

This is also why I take such a very strong and heavy offense to anyone trying to sexualize my kinship to either Lord Sesshomaru or Avallac'h.

My attraction to them is not sexual and I do not like people trying to translate it that way.

I see them, more along the lines of ArchAngels. Protectors. Someone you can look to to always be there for you. Someone who will never hurt you. Someone who will keep you safe.

Nothing will make you my enemy faster than you trying to sexualze me, my life, or anything I do. I am asexual, on an extreme anti-sex level. I have an extreme hatred for sex. And if you try to sexualize me or anything I do, you will quickly find yourself branded one of my top most hated people on the planet.

But, yeah, I am myself ElfKin, but you can see why I find no issues with FictionKin. Also, while I tend to lurk in OtherKin communities, I don't see myself as OtherKin, because I see ElfKin and OtherKin as being 2 very different, but also very similar things.

I should also point out that I think of ElfKin and FictionKin as both separate and different from OtherKin, that they are 3 completely different things in my mind, but that none is any less valid then the other and that each of the 3 should be supportive of the other 2.

My thought is, you wouldn't be Kin to anything if you had not suffered through extreme trauma and your Kinship, is your way of coping. For is, after all, nothing more than a mental illness. The concept of Kinship, was created by a group of psychiatrists, to explain people who are not Human, but live in Human society. You can not be Kin to anything and not also be insane. That is a medical fact. And therefore, all Kin are Kin to each other through their insanity, regardless of what type of Kin they are or how they explain their Kinship.

I think of all Kinships this way. Each is distinctly different, but, all are similar enough that each should try to learn from one another and be supportive of each other.

FAQs: What is it like living with Autism?


#FAQs: What is it like living with Autism?


I have Kanner's Syndrome (ACTUAL Autism, not Aspergers), which means I'm not good at group things. I'm classified as Savant, meaning I have a few things that I obsess about, big time, and have world records in them as a result, and everything else in my life I still require a caretaker to help me with. 


I was believed to be mute until I was 31 years old, when a college professor whose day job was working with Autism children, meet me at an Autism Awareness event (I own The Autism Awareness Car, which has 2.5million marbles glued to it - took 4 years to build it). He spent several years teaching me to talk and I was able to get a GED at age 37 *(I had never been allowed to go to school as Autism in the 1970s = too retarded to be taught anything so why bother? It was assumed I couldn't be taught, so no one tried to, until I was 31 years old)*, and started college at age 42. 


Today in addition to being a rabid gamer, I'm also an artist (acrylic on canvas and watercolor on rag) sell my art in local galleries, I build art cars and installation art, published over 130 Dark Fantasy novels, and became a retail merchandiser for Macy's, WalMart, and HallMark for 16 years because I'm very good at organizing things... I can't do much else, but I can certainly make sure nothing on the sales floor is out of place. 


On Twitch I'm known for my ability to open up a video game and completely rewrite it removing and making my own... I rewrote Witcher 3, removed Geralt and Roach and the combat system, and build my own player character, made travel companions, wrote a new combat system, made new quests, made new maps... removed all the texture files and made all new ones. There's nothing in Witcher 3 that I have not rewritten. With over 4,000 mods now made for it, you can barely recognize my game as being Witcher 3 anymore.... and yet I can't read C++ code.


I spent my childhood and teen years, being told I would never amount to anything. I proved them all wrong.


People see the things I do very well *(art, writing, my exemplary organization skills in retail stores, and my ability to open up a video game and completely rewrite it and making my own)* but they often don't see past that.


Social skills are a thing I've not yet mastered, which makes streaming very difficult for me as, chat is sensory overload and I have it turned off. I also can't count, do Math, tell time, use calendars, use money, numbers are lost on me.


Basic things - bathing, eating, brushing my hair, etc - that most people have no trouble with, I have caretakers who have to help me do those thing, even though I'm 20, 30, 40 years older than my caretakers. I am VERY low-functioning, but I can write, I can paint, I disect video games, and I can organize things. I just can't do one thing else. Which is very upsetting, because I wish I could. I try too. I don't know why I can't. It's like there are a few things in my brain turned all the way up on super high and everything else is just turned off and won't come on.


And then there are issues with meltdowns, screaming fits, panic attacks, bad ones. Bad enough that I generally avoid contact with the public, simply because I'm tired of dealing with the police. Someone my age, screaming on the floor, people assume I'm on drugs and call the police. It's very frustrating, because I can not control these attacks and I can't stop them once they start.  


It is extremely distressing, I'm insanely good at a few things, but everything else, things most of society doesn't bat an eye at, I can't do them, no matter how hard I try. And I'm not capable of "acting properly" or "behaving in socially acceptable ways".


Most people when they meet me in real life, they are very taken back, by how extremely disabled I am. Fans of my novels, meet me at book signings and ask: "So, what's the joke, what's this retard doing here, where's the author?" 


They refuse to believe, someone as deeply retarded as me, is capable of writing novels. It hurts a lot, people's reactions to meeting me and them finding out the reality of what ACTUAL Autism, Kanner's Syndrome, is really like... and that it's NOTHING like Asperger's, with it's "cute Sheldon Cooper quirks" that they are used to and think of as being Autism. 


They forget, people with Asperger's can live normal lives, they can pass for normal in public if they have too, they get married and have families, and I'm not capable of living on my own or without caretakers, and I never will be. 




I wish more people knew the difference between Aspergers and Autism, and how vastly different they are from each other. 


Far too many people hear that I have Autism, and they automatically assume I have Aspergers, and then they meet me in person, and are shocked, horrified, and they tell me they've meet dozens, sometimes hundreds of Aspies, and when they meet me, they say, they realize, they've NEVER seen Autism before, in spite of all the hundreds of Aspies they've met, and then they tell me, they wish they had known, they wished someone had told them, how starkly different Autism is from Aspergers, because they always say, no matter how many Aspies they worked with, it never prepared them to come face to face with ACTUAL REAL Autism, Kanner's Syndrome, for the first time. 


The problem is these people are also used to interacting with people who 90% of the time are self diagnosed... which is why when they encounter me... **SOMEONE WITH AN ACTUAL MEDICAL DIAGNOSIS**... they are so surprised at how vastly different "MY" Autism is from the so-called "Autism" they are used to encountering with the fake ass self diagnosed Aspies who wouldn't know Autism if it hit them in the face! I hate it when people with “self diagnosed disabilities” talk about how hard being a part of the neurodivergent community is. 


What the fuck? 


What neurodivergent community? 


That's NOT even a thing! 


We who have **ACTUAL REAL MEDICALY DIAGNOSED DISABILITIES AREN'T A PART OF SOME FUCKING CUTSY COMMUNITY! WE HAVE AN ACTUAL MEDICAL DISEASE THAT SERIOUSLY HAMPERS OUR EVERY DAY EXISTANCE! THIS ISN'T SOME CLUB YOU CAN JOIN!**


**MY** Autism is so vastly different from the hundreds of other so-called "Autistics" they are used to, **because MY Autism is FUCKING REAL and not some stupid ass fako with a self diagnosis because they want to be different!**





Also there is **NO SUCH THING AS A SELF-DIAGNOSED AUTISTIC!**


Read the fucking medical journals and kick the damn anti-vacer mommy blogger out the window. They don't know shit. 


In **EVERY DOCUMENTED CASE** of a self-diagnosed Autistic going to a doctor and getting **ACTUALLY DIAGNOSED**, their real diagnosis ALWAYS comes back as one of 2 things:


* Schizophrenia


* Narcissism


#HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF SELF-DIAGNOSED AUTISTICS, WHEN THEY FINALLY RECIEVED AN ACTUAL MEDICAL DIAGNOSIS FROM A DOCTOR.... WHERE DIAGNOSED WITH PARINOID GRANDOSE SCHIZOPHRENIA!!!


Think about that.


Think about it, long and hard.


Look up the symptoms of Schizophrenia, then turn around and take a good long look at the actions of the millions of fake ass self diagnosed "autistics" you've encountered online and offline... do you see it now?


Ain't a damned one of those self-diagnosed Aspies who have Autism... they have fucking schizophrenia.


Think about it... scared to go to doctors, paranoid of doctors, so they self-diagnoses, because they have too many paranoid ideas about doctors and vaccinations to go to a doctor.


What are the primary symptoms of schizophrenia?


* Fear of rational, harmless things such as doctors, dentists, and vaccinations


* Social awkwardness, social anxiety, fear of crowds, but has a conflicting desire to be a part of a social group and will go to great extremes to become a part of that group


* Imitation and impersonation, including hypochondria, and pretending to have illnesses that are deemed as popular or cool or trendy


* Self diagnosing themselves as having popular disease to try to fit in with a crowd or social group, in an attempt to gain attention or be more popular


* Seeing themselves as superior to others based on the hypochondriac illnesses they self diagnosed themselves as having


* Pretends to be things they are not, including to pretend to have illnesses that they deem as superior



**A Schizophrenic is scared of everything. **


* They trust no one.


* They see and notice everything going on around them and are terrified of every little sight, sound, or smell. 


* Everything is seen as a threat. 


* Fear rules their lives. 


* They are suspicious of everything and every one and feel an overbearing need to flee from everything.


* They see authority figures such as police, political leaders, or big business owners as "the enemy" and believe those authority figures are always out to get them.


* Paranoia governs their actions. 


* They believe conspiracy theories, think the Illuminati is real, believe aliens are going to abduct them, think the government put mind control drugs in flouride, believe in demon possession, and other such crazy ideas.


* They can do nothing without first thinking out in great detail, every possible outcome, and every possible path they must take to avoid the most fearful of those outcomes. 


* They will frequently avoid doing things they desire to do, out of irrational fears they create about those things. They spend much of their life regretting not trying new things, attending events, or joining others in activities.


* They focus heavily on what others think about them, and will often wear dull, drab, but very conforming to local society, styles of clothing. If every one in their town wears Ts and jeans, they wear Ts and jeans; if everyone wears business suits, they wear business suits... they are terrified to be unique or original, scared of being judged by others, scared of not fitting in with the crowd, and will go overboard in trying to blend in with the local "in crowd".


* They walk quickly, but dutifully. Staying on sidewalks. Always nervously looking around them. Paying careful notice of everyone they see, looking at all strangers with suspicion, suspecting everyone of carrying a gun or knife or being a potential mugger.


* They have trouble making friends because they spend too much time imagining that potential friends will hurt the, so avoid contact with people, due to the conspiracies they build. Their social anxiety is built up by their own irrational fears of everyone around them.


* Because they are so terrified or everything, they fear going to doctors, mostly because they believe doctors, like police and presidents, are part of groups such as the Illuminati, and instead seek out shady conspiracy theorist websites to use to self-diagnoses themselves whenever they find a trendy popular illness that they want to have in order to be part of a group.


* If they do go to a doctor, they are convinced the doctor gave them a false diagnosis to try to trick them, resulting in they take up the hobby of reading mommy blogs of their fellow anti-vaccer conspiracy theorists, and use those shady websites as the basis of self diagnosing themselves with something more socially acceptable than whatever the actual diagnosis their doctor gave them was.


* When someone tells them they are being paranoid, they often fall back on saying something along the lines of: they have to be paranoid because demons, aliens, ghosts, or evil spirits visit them at night and tell them the president is an evil overlord who has stationed minions in every town and the men in black are on every street corner and they must listen to the voices of the spirits in order to know who is plotting with the police against them.



Every part of the above, is a symptom a self-diagnosed Autistic proudly claims as one of their symptoms... and yet...


**A REAL Autistic is the exact opposite. They are scared of nothing.**


* They trust every one.


* They are too lost in the world that exists only inside their head to see and notice anything going on around them and are completely oblivious to the existence of every little sight, sound, or smell.  


* Everything is seen as a learning opportunity. Everything and everyone MUST be studied to see "what makes them tick". They want to know everything there is to know about everything.


* Logic rules their lives. 


* They are curious about everything and every one and feel an overbearing need to study everything.


* They love rules. They see authority figures such as police, political leaders, or big business owners as the greatest people on the planet and believe those authority figures are always doing good and going to help them.


* Fascination and curiosity governs their actions. 


* Eternal skeptics, they will not believe ANYTHING unless you can provide hundreds of documented studies by highly regarded authority figures in leadership positions, and as such they DO NOT believe conspiracy theories, think the Illuminati is a hoax, believe aliens could be real but still require proof, think the government is great because it makes laws to protect them, believes demons are a figment of paranoid imaginations, and think other such crazy ideas are likewise only believed by crazy people.


* They often run into their activities without first thinking out in great detail, and thus are quick to take up things like bungee jumping, mountain climbing, scaling brick smoke stacks, or climbing to the tops of tall trees without any gear, safety nets, or other devices, simply climbing up bare hands and bare feet. They are often seen as careless or daredevils because of their total lack of fear of heights or trying new things. 


* They will NEVER avoid doing things they desire to do, and thus will paint huge murals on cars, buses, or the side of houses, on a whim with no planning aheads of time. They will go out on a limb to try new things. If they feel like dressing up as a fairy with sparkly wings and dancing in the city park's water fountain while tossing pennies to strangers... then they will do exactly that without caring what by passers think of them doing it.


* They do not care what others think about them, and will often wear outlandish clothing, with no thought at all of how society might react to how bizarre they are dressed. They are often see as "hippies" or "free spirited" or "no conformists" or "eccentric" due to how extremely unlike the rest of society they dress. CosPlaying, OtherKin, or dressing like Disney Princesses are common every day outfits for Autistics, even into adulthood.


* They prance and dance, skip and hop, jump over cracks, twirl on their toes, stray of the path, often enter the road or stray onto lawns, finding it difficult to be constrained to sidewalks. They find it difficult to walk and may burst into a sprint and run far ahead of the group if forced to walk too long, they need adult supervision in public places, even as adults, because they are prone to burst into a run, including to run into the road into oncoming traffic, without any fear of the cars on the highway, indeed, they are so lost in the fairy filled world in their head, that they do not even see the road or the cars and only see the fairies they are dancing with.


* They have trouble making friends because most people are too terrified of their seemingly "extremely extroverted" personality. Their outfits, hyper extreme activities, and free spirited prancing and dancing instead of walking often brands them as "crazy" or "insane" or ironically "schizoid", even though schizophrenia is completely the opposite.


* Because they are too busy having fun dancing in water fountains with the fairies only they can see, they often forget to do things like eat or sleep, and require adult supervision, even if they themselves are an adult, to remind them to stop dancing with fairies long enough to eat and sleep. This also contributes to them rarely going to doctors and requiring a caretaker to set up doctor appointments and drive them to the doctor. 


* They are prone to ignoring their illnesses, pain, and diseases because every day of their life is so painful as it is, they find it better to focus on pretty things, bright colours, reading comic books, playing video games, or doing other such things to put their minds in a self-hypnotic-meditative state so they can ignore the pain. 


* They feel no need to try to self-diagnose themselves, because it is pointless to bother at this point, because they've lived with searing pain every day since they were born and now they are used to the pain and use dressing in pink gowns, dancing in water fountains, painting cars, reading comics, and playing video games as coping mechanises to try to find something other than their every day pain and suffering to focus on.


* Because they suffer so many skin pains, allergies, gastrointestinal pains, sensory pains, and their doctor helps to take those pains away, they view their doctor as one of their most trusted friends and can be extremely upset, becoming depressed if their doctor retires or moves and they must start going to a new doctor. 


Now, here is one final thought on the comparisons between Autism and Schizophrenia.


Pay careful attention here.


Because this part, will be very telling, of just exactly how much, you, a self-diagnosed Aspie, REALLY knows about Autism.


Did you know, that up until 1982, ALL children and adults, upon recieving a diagnosis of Autism, the law, in America and most of Europe, REQUIRED that patient to be immediatly straight jacketed, removed from their home, and locked in solitary confinment is a government run insane asylum/mental instatute.


Do you why that changed in 1982?


You know SO MUCH about Autism, that you feel you qualify to self diagnoses yourself, so you should know the answer to this, shouldn't you? I mean, you DID self-diagnose yourself as Autistic, didn't you?


Did you ever read a medical joural?


How about the official guide to psychiatrics? You know the one, that giant 3,000 page book all 12 of the world's Autism doctors are required to have read and memorized, before they could graduate and their Ph.D ... M.D. ... in Psychiatric medicide.


That book, the one which lists all the symptoms of:


* Kannar's Syndrome (a.k.a. Autism)


AND


* Asperger's Syndrome (a.k.a. Childhood Schizophrenia)


I don't suppose while you were reading that book, to self diagnose yourself, that you noticed WHERE you had to look for both those psychosis, did you?


You would have found BOTH of them under the heading: Schizophrenia and Schizotyaple Disorders.


YES, when you run around saying:


* "I'm a proud self-diagnosed Aspie! I have Autism, YAY!"


What you are saying to EVERYONE in the medical field, who knows what Aspergers and Autism are:


* "I'm a proud self-diagnosed Psycho! I have Schizophrenia, YAY!"


Sadly, 99.9% od all self diagnosed Aspies, are fully and completly unaware that Asperger's was known as Childrenhood Schizophrenia, up until 1982, when it was decided to merge the 2 listings into one, and use the "less stygmaed" name of Asperger's instead of the more stygmaed, Childhood Schizophrenia. And THUS HOW AND WHY Asperger's sudden became known as "a type of Autism", because Autism, since it's begin 200 years ago, was ALWAYS classified as "a type of Schizophrenia". 


* Schizophrenia's primary #1 symptom, the symptom it is most known for: "voices in your head" aka "imaginary friends" aka "they talk to demons" or "demons talk to them".


* Autism's primary #1 symptom, the symptom it is most known for: "voices in your head" aka "imaginary friends" aka "they talk to fairies" or "fairies talk to them".


* Asperger's primary #1 symptom, the symptom it is most known for: "voices in your head" aka "imaginary friends" aka "they talk to comic book characters" or "comic book characters talk to them".


Still want to call yourself Autistic or a self-diagnosed Aspie?


Aspergers and Autism, STILL what you thought they were?


Have I ever mentioned Etiole... and... oh look, hey, have you seen my Twitch profile yet? Noticed anything "unusual"... like maybe Avallac'h?


Take a step back, and really, really, REALLY do some REAL, ACTUAL, MEDICAL research into Aspergers and Autism... stop reading mommy bloggers and their anti-vacination conspiracies, and get to know what Asperger's and Autism REALLY are, and what it's like to live with either one of them... because it's NOT fun.


#AUTISM IS A COMPLETE NIGHTMARE TO LIVE WITH!


We who actually HAVE Autism, we ain't running around calling ourselves "proud autistics", because we Auttism is nothing to be proud of. We know, because struggle with it every day of our lives.


And while you self-diagnosed Aspies, get to toss YOUR "autism" aside when get bored with The Big Bang Theory's Sheldon Cooper, and become a fan of something else... we REAL Autistics don't have that luxery. We can't toss Autism aside, because it doesn't come and go when we feel like being "autistic" to be cool and part of the Sheldon Cooper fan club. 


And tell me WHY do you self-diagnosed Aspeies think being Autistic is so "cool"?


Have you SEEN how the media portraies Schizophrenia? Ax murderers. Psycho killers. Gibbering lunatics straight jacketed in an asylum. 


You do realize that MOST of society sees Autistics and Aspies as **EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE**: a sub group of schizophrenics.


So, tell me WHY, you self-diagnosed Aspies, think **THAT** is "cool?


Have you ever noticed that in recent years, the word "autism" has become used on the internet as a slur?


n Twitter and Reddit you see "autism" used interchangably with "retard" and "schitzoid", and those "proud autistic moms" and "proud self-diagnosed Aspies" get so pissed off because of it, but why? They are NOT wrong. 


#Autism IS a form of mental retardation, so, yes, you ARE retarded if you have Autism.


You didn't think about that when you self-diagnosed yourself did you?



#Autism IS a form of Schizophrenia, so, yes, you ARE a scitzoid if you have Autism.


But poor you, you proud self-diagnosed Aspie, you didn't do your research well enough did you, because you would have know that, if you had.


But the funny thing is... when these self-diagnosed Aspies go to a doctor to get diagnosed, they NEVER get told they have Autism or Aspergers and ALWAYS get told they have full blown Parinod Grandous Schitophrenia.


Why?


Well.... all those years of being too parinoid to go to doctors, and self-diagnosis yourself, had a lot 2 do with it, because, after "hearing voices" the other 2 primary symptoms of schizophrenia are: "irrational parinoid fear" and "hypocondrism"... lucky you. We who has Autism, only have a Schizotypical subset in the Schizophrania spectrum of psychoses, but you, with your beloved prous self-diagnosed Aspie chanting, you proved yourself a 100% blown schizoid. 


Still proud to yourself a self-diagnosed Aspie?


Still being an Aspie or an Autistic is a badge of honor, that'll make society love and accept you?


Honey, there were plenty of illness out their you could have self-diagnosed yourself with to get pity from society, but ANY psychosis on the Schizotypal tree, is NOT going to amung them. So, when you run around telling people you is a proud Aspie or a proud Autistic, 90% of society is fully aware that Aspergers and Autism are BOTH forms of mental retardation with the Schizotypal Psychoses, so all you are doing is convining scoiety that you are insane and should be in a mental institute.


And the ONLY reason you are NOT in a mental institute, is because the law changed in 182, and the government is no longer REQUIRED BY LAW to straight jacket all the sub-sets of Schizophrenia anymore.


Thus why you saw a rise in more children with Aspergers and Autism in public schools in 1987, when the law declared they were allowed to go to public schools for the first time in history.


Your fear of doctors lead you to self-diagnose yourself, and you almost got it right... had you read actual medical journals instead anti-vaccer mommy bloggers, you would have gotten it right... 


#AND, you wouldn't be so proud, to say: "I'm a self-diagnosed, Aspie/Autistic!" and you realized you were actually saying "I'm a self-diagnosed, Schizophrenic!" would you?


It was your fear of doctors that lead to your self-diagnosis... perhhaps you should have started your search, by finding out what illness causes a fear of doctors?


Your fear of doctors is also what makes the self-diagnosed Aspies dramatically differant from an ACTUAL Autistic.


Autistics don't fear doctors. Autistics are not obsessed with being part of a crowd. Autistics don't feel the need to join a group. Autistics are socially DISTANT not socially awkwards... there is a difference you know.


Someone with Autism DOES NOT WANT TO BE SOCIAL... someone with self-diagnosed Asp is desperately trying to be part of a group.


While you were glorifying all the cute, fun, good time, fluffy bunny tummy feelings of Autism, and found yourself wanted to be a part of the "autism club group"... did you also, look up the bad side of Autism? The negative symptoms? The one's that ain't fun or cute or fill your tummy with fluffy bunnies?


No?


You forgot to look into those symptoms didn't you?


Perhaps, if you had, you would not have been so quick to self diagnose.


Being the "prize guest" at so many Auism events, I get to meet thousands of self-diagnosed Aspies every year.


The top thing, they like to say is this:


#"I know I have Autism, because social awkward. I always WANT to join groups and make friends, but have social amxiety, so I MUST be Autistic. That's why I self diagnosed myself."


Well, whoop dee doo, good for you.


Social anxiety is ITSELF it's own, seperate disorder... and MOST who have REAL Autism, don't have it as a symptom.


Soooo, if you have social anxiety, changes are VERY high that you don't have Autism.


Why?


Well, we REAL Autistics, usually are having too much fun with our "imaginary friends"... hey, look, Avallac'h, he's all over my profie for a reason you know... we REAL Autistics, usually are having too much fun with our "imaginary friends" to have any want, need, or desire for social activities or real friends who are real people.


We REAL Autistics, like our "imaginary friends" much, much MORE then we like real people. In fact, in most cases,  we REAL Autistics also have a deep set HATRED for real people.


We REAL Autistics, Do NOT WANT to be part of a group. 


We REAL Autistics, we are not seeking to join a club and hang out with others.


We REAL Autistics, Do NOT WANT to be take part in community activities. 


We REAL Autistics, we don't like people and we don't WANT to be a part of your world.


We REAL Autistics, we don't NEED social interaction with people and we don't WANT to be a part of your world, BECAUSE we have a vastly huge world in our heads, and it's a better world than your real world, and we don't like it when you real people interupt us and pull us out of the world that lives in our heads.


We REAL Autistics, have no desire, ZERO, none at all, to take part in social activities... and THAT is why social anxiety is very, very, very rare to almost none-existant in REAL Autism.


So, when you diagnosed Aspies say:


#"I know I have Autism, because social awkward. I always WANT to join groups and make friends, but have social amxiety, so I MUST be Autistic. That's why I self diagnosed myself."


You've missed the mark big time, and you don't have a fucking clue what Autism is.



Someone with Autism will hiss, growl, shriek, scream, bite, kick, scratch your eyes out if you try to force them into a crowd of people. Someone with self-diagnosed Asp is going to stand their awkwardly and wait to be asked to join the group, when you push them into a crowd.


Yes... you **CAN** see the **HUGE** amounts of vast difference between **REAL, ACTUAL, AUTISM** and the fake ass wannabes with a self diagnosis. And those differences are miles apart from each other.


#THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A CASE OF A SELF-DIAGNOSED AUTISTIC SUCCESSFULLY BEING MEDICALLY DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM!


And **THAT** is why so many hundreds of people meet me at conventions and say: *"I've worked with hundreds of Autistics over the years and I've never seen anyone with anything like you have before."*


I always ask them: *"Where they self diagnosed or did they have actual medical records proving they had Autism?"*


And the answer is **ALWAYS**: *"Well, it's so hard to get a diagnosis, only 12 psychiatrists in the world are qualified to diagnosis Autism, so they **HAD** to self diagnose themselves. They were all proud self-diagnosed Aspies. Just like me! I'm Autistic too, but, wow are you nothing like me. Are you sure you have Autism? I'm not like you at all and I know I diagnosed myself correctly, because I'm just like Sheldon Cooper and I've watched every episode of Big Bang Theory, so I know I have Autism, just like my hero Sheldon Cooper does."*


I get so sick and tired of jackass Autism-wanna-bes, who call themselves Autistic just because they think it's "cool".


Can you wipe your own ass when you take a shit? If so, you probably don't have Autism.


Are you in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s+ and can live on your own without 24 hour adult supervision? Hey, well, guess what **YOU DO NOT HAVE AUTISM! SO STOP FUKING PRETENDING YOU DO!**


Someone with REAL Autism, will go total psycho on your ass, when you try to force them to interact with others... they will act like a wild rabid animal, tear your skin off your faces, bite chunks of flesh out of your arm, you WILL be seriously injured, and **YOU WILL NEED HOSPITALIZATION FOR YOUR MASSIVE INJURIES**. 


Never underestimate the extreme levels of violence, hostility, and animalistic strength an Autistic possesses when upset.


#THERE IS A REASON MOST PARANTS OF ACTUALLY AUTISTIC CHIDLREN BELIEVE THEIR CHILD IS DEMON POSSESSED AND TAKE THEM TO PRIESTS FOR EXOSISMS!


Believe me... there is a big difference between an upset self-diagnosed aspie pouting in the corner and an upset ACTUAL autistic, breaking your bones, pulling your hair out, ripping your ears offm, and biting your fingers off.


Self diagnosed Aspies, will run and hide with you yell at them... actual real Autistics, will fight back with vicious animal ferocity, and you'll be in an ambulance on your way to get your fingers sewed back on.


There is a hell of a big difference between:


* "Oh my kid has quirks, likes comic books, and won't eat peas or green beans, he must have Autism"


and


* "Ohmigawd! My demon possessed kid just bit my fucking finger off, because I stopped him from laying his comic books out around the edge of the house in rainbow colour order!"


People focus on the "good" or "positive" symptoms of Autism... like quirks and obsessions with cartoons... but they forget, those are just the iceberg tip of Autism that you see on the surface, and MOST of Autism's symptoms are a  true nightmare, horrific, dark, and are very, very, very negative.


The fakers with their self diagnoses, prance around "look at me I got quirks!"... but ask them, about the dark side of Autism, and they'll tell you there is none. 


The fakers with their self diagnoses, will tell you Autism is all good and has no bad... but me with real Autism, I can tell you how easy it is for an 8 year old girl to rip a man's testicals off and force feed them to him... because I did it. I really don't like being touched, and like even less being raped.


The fakers with their self diagnoses, will tell you they read comic books... me with real Autism, I can quite line by line, every pages of more than 10,000 comic books.


A photographic memory, the ability to look inside your mind and see photographic images of EVERYTHING you have ever looked at EVER in your entire life, and quickly file through those photos to read from your head, books line by line... is a primary required symptoms of Autism, and if you don't have that, you don't have Autism.


The fakers with their self diagnoses, will tell you look how pretty the trees are, let's paint pictures of them... me with real Autism, I can tell you the best and fastest way to get to the top of that tree and how many days was the longest I stayed up there 130 feet off the ground.


Oh... did no one ever tell you one of the primary symptoms of Autism is climbing things like telephone poles, water towers, smokestacks, and giant old growth pine and redwood trees?


I thought you said you knew Autism well enough to diagnose yourself with having it?


The fakers with their self diagnoses, will tell you how much fun it is to be a part of the neurodiversity community, where they get to hang out with other none neural typicals... me with real Autism, I'll punch your teeth out with a brick if you try to force me into any community at all. No I'm not joking, I have Autism, I NEVER joke, I am ALWAYS dead serious, look at my uncles, most of them have no front teeth, and most of them lost their teeth before I was 12 years old. I don't like being hit in the face with a brick and my uncles always taught:


*"DO unto others as you want others to do unto you"*... meaning, they would not have broken my jaw with a brick and knocked out 17 of my teeth, unless they wanted me to return the favor and knock out their teeth with the exact same brick they used to knock out mine.


The golden rule... do unto others what you want others to do to you, in other words, I wait to see how you are going to treat me, and I will do to you EXACTLY the same thing you did to me, line by line, word by word, action by action, measure by measure, because by doing it to me, you have informed me that I MUST do it back to you, it's what you wanted me to do to you, otherwise, you would not have done it to me... do to others EXACTLY what they first did to you. So says the Golden Rule in the Bible... my uncles shouldn't have preached it, if they didn't mean it; likewise, they should not have beaten out 17 of my teeth with a brick, if they didn't want me to fight back in self defence and with that self same brick. Just because a child is 8 years old, and 5 men in their 30s are holding her down and raping her, and beating her face with a brick to stop her from crying for help, doesn't mean she ain't strong enough to tear her arm free, pull that brick from their hand, and throw it right back at them.


Did you know Autism is CAUSED by childhood rape? And that if you were NOT raped as a toddler, than it is NOT possible for you to have Autism?


I suppose that would be, yet another thing you overlooked when self-diagnosing yourself, eh?


Do you realize, when your parents say: "I'm a proud mom of an autistic child"... that what she is ACTUALLY saying is: "I'm proud the men in my life raped my toddler and gave her Autism!" 


Yeah.


I'm wondering how many "Proud Autism moms" there would be, if they ACTUALLY READ the ACTUALLY medical diagnosis guide for Autism, and found out that Autism, is a form of childhood post traumatic stress disorder, caused by childhood rape?


Did you know Autism, is a coping mechanis... a way to shut out the real world, because people are evil, mean, and hurtful, and imaginary friends don't hurt you and live in a world, where you are safe and protected, and you can ONLY be hurt if you leave there would and return to the real world... 


...and THAT is WHY Autistics, shut out the real world, ignore it completely, and have no desire, absolutely ZERO desire for social interaction.


Which is WHY it is foolish for self-diagnosed Aspies, to claim to be Autistic because of social anxiety.


We with REAL Autism, don't have social anxiety... we have 100% pure hatred for humanity and the world humans live in and our brain shut down and protects us, by blocking out the real world... that why we don't see it... why don't see cars in the road... why we need 24 hour adult supervision, even into our adulthood and elderly years... because we see the world of the Fae and we can no longer see your real world, because your real world is far too painful to see anymore.


The fakers with their self diagnoses, will tell you they could NEVER hurt anyone, it would hurt their feelings... me with real Autis, I don't give a shit about your feelings and I won't think twice about breaking your nose, arm, leg, if you hurt me, I'm going to hurt you right back. You break my nose, I will immediatly break your nose, and while you are on the ground crying in pain, I'm standing dry eyed, not sheading a tear, not making a sound, because I've been in searing pain so long, that nothing you can do will hurt me worse than I already hurt every day. You are not used to pain, so you cry and scream... me, I stopped crying decades ago, I stopped screaming decades back. I also stopped smiling... I hurt too much to smile. I've not laughed in decades, I've no reason to laugh and laughter only shakes my insides and makes the pain worse.


Common misconseption is that we with ACTUAL Autism, have no feelings... no... we have feelings, we just are in so much agonizing pain, all day, every day, that we learned to stop showing emotions... it was the only way, to learn to stop crying 24 hours a day, stop screaming with every step we take. We had to cancel out outward sings of emotions, otherwise we would never make it from one day to the next.


The agonizing pain, is so bad that we pass out several times a day, whenever the stabbing pain of pinched nerves, bloated bellies, bleeding blisters, splitting eardrums, stabbing pain in our eyes, reaches a point when we can bear it in silence no longer, and we stop breathing, our bodies shut down. And we lay unconscious on the floor for seconds, minutes, hours, sometimes days, before we wake up again.


The physical pain is the worst part of Autism.


The fakers with their self diagnoses, will tell you all their favorite foods, their likes, their dislikes, and how they are picky, finicky eaters who must have everything laid out just so... me with real Autism, I'll tell you about WHY I can not eat most foods... the bloating, the rashes, the hives, the vomiting, the diarrhea... an Autistic's strict "finicky" diet is NOT a cute little quirk like the fake ass self diagnosers say, it's a full blood gastrointestinal allergy that you can die from... the same thing that causes our synapses to misfire also causes our digestive tract to reject every food we eat like it was poison.


If that doesn't happen to you, than you don't have Autism.



The fakers with their self diagnoses, will tell you "I like to read, I'm a deep thinker and like to get lost in thought, thinking about the other worlds"... me with real Autism, I don't get lost in thought thinking about other worlds I've read about in books, I spend hours every day, in what I'm told is called "Astral projection". I don't think about those worlds, I live in them. I don't read about those characters, I interact with them. 


People have recorded this "phenomena" when it happens ... they can't wake me up. I go into a rigid catatonic state, for hours, days, some times weeks. It's almost like a coma, but my body is still functioning so I don't need life support.


When I finally come out of it and they ask where I went, my answer is always: "I went into a book to visit the characters" or "I went into the vide game, to live with the characters" or "I went into the movie, to find out what was going on in their world"


I don't just "think" about characters, I go meet them in their world... and THAT is what makes Autism, Autism, and what makes a REAL Autistic, so vastly different from the faker ass wannabes with their self diagnoses.


Doctors, can't explain catatonia and classify it as "one of the mysteries" of Autism.


#While not all catatonics have Autism... ALL Autistics ALWAYS have catatonia.


Catatonia is the one thing, that makes REAL Autism, REAL Autism... and if you don't have catatonia, you ain't got Autism.


And if you didn't know catatonia is the ONLY symptom that determines if or not you have Autism, then Honey, you really do know absolutely nothing about REAL, ACTUAL Autism.


#IF YOU DO NOT HAVE CATATONIA, YOU DO NOT HAVE AUTISM!


And then there are the senses. The over powering senses. 


Every sound, even the tiniest whisper, is like a cruise ship fog horn going off in my ears. 


If that doesn't happen to you, than you don't have Autism.



I can see in the dark like a cat, and that's a good thing, but the trade off, I can't see at all in light. Sun light, daylight, land light, they blind me. I can not go outside between 10AM and 5PM because the sunlight causes searing pain and I pass out from the pain, then when I wake up, I can't see at all for several minutes, and when I can see again all I can see a rainbow star bursts and black and red polka dots for hours.


If that doesn't happen to you, than you don't have Autism.


The faker ass wanna bes with their self diagnoses, will tell you their eyes hurt if they look at the sun... newsflash... EVERYONE'S eyes hurt if you look at the sun. Stop being an idiot, stop looking at the sun!


People with Autism, don't have to look at the sun to black out ... a 30 watt lamp in a bedroom will cause them to pass out from the searing pain as well. The pain is THAT bad.


When was the last time you felt pain that was so extreme you passed out?


Never? Really? I thought you said you had Autism? 


When was the last time you were blind for hours on end and saw nothing but total blackness, while fireworks starburst of rainbow colours exploded in front of you and black and red polka dots zipped by?


Never? Really? I thought you said you accurately self diagnosed yourself with Autism? Extreme photo sensativity is a primary symptom, classified as, you don't have Autism, if you don't have this symptom.


Still think you diagnosed yourself accurately?




The faker ass wanna bes with their self diagnoses, will tell you they can't wear cloths with tags because "tags are itchy"...



Nothing can touch me. Nothing. No one. Not fabric. Not human skin. I break out in horrifying blisters, huge bubbles that burst and bleed. I can only wear 100% pure silk, pure cotton, pure bamboo fiber cloth, or real fur. Everything burns my skin. Turns my skin bright red. My skin blisters, bubbles, bleeds, and peels if anything else touches it.


If that doesn't happen to you, than you don't have Autism.


As for itchy tags... tags itch EVERYONE, you stupid ass!


People with Autism... tags cause massive blisters, hives, and bleeding.


Far too many people only know the "good", "cute", "funny", "quirky", "socially acceptable" symptoms of Autism, and they want in on that. They want to be cute, funny, quirky, social acceptable... but they completely ignore the dark side of Autism... and very, very, very dark, that dark side is. The bad symptoms, the violent symptoms, the social unaccepted symptoms, are far bigger, far greater, then the good ones. To the extent that a REAL Autistic can't function in society.


And that's how you can tell the fake ass wanna bes with their self diagnoses, from someone with REAL, ACTUAL Autism.


They parade around talking how good and fun Autism is, they make out like having Autism is a badge of honor to be proud of.


It's not, and don't be fooled into thinking it is.


And 90% of all Autistics, can't even talk. Mutism, is one the biggest symptoms.


Yes, Autism gives you good things like making art and literature are big part of your life, but the bad parts of Autism are so overpowering bad, that you can NOT enjoy those good things.


Real Autistics aren't trying to be a part of a group. They are just trying to get from one day to the next without searing pain in their bellies, without their skin bursting open and bleeding all over everything, without mind numbing pain in their eyes from sunlight. They are in far too much pain 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year, every year for their entire lives, to have any free time to join groups or happily chat about how fun Autism is.


#Autism is not fun to live with, and any one who tells you it is, does not have Autism.


The fakers with their self diagnoses, forget to tell you about the dark side of Autism, because **THEY DO NOT HAVE AUTISM** so they didn't even know the dark side of Autism existed.


If you only know self-diagnosed Aspies, then you don't know Autism, and you are in for one hell of a big surprise when the day comes that you actually meet someone with REAL Autism.






1 in 3 children have Aspergers, it's very common, but only 1 in 1,200,000 children have Autism, it's very rare. In the wake of the mass flood of people calling Asperger's Autism, people forget how incredibly rare actual Autism really is. They aren't the same thing and until you've seen both side by side, you don't realize how different they really are.


People forget WHY I became such a good writer. I was mute for 31 years. Writing was the only way I could communicate with anyone. But I grew up in a family that crumpled up the paper, never even looked at it. In their minds I was too stupid to talk and therefore anything I wrote on paper MUST have been gibberish. They didn't even look at it. So I wrote letters to the cats that lived with us. I started doing that when I was 8 years old. I still do it 50+ years later.


 I'm not likely to be much use in a group, as outside of writing, art, video games, and organizing sale floors of retail stores, I'm too retarded to be able to do anything else. 


I'm rarely welcomed in groups, because I'm too retarded, too Autistic to fit in, or so I'm always told. I'm rarely of any use to anyone.

You want an in depth look at HOW someone becomes Autistic?


The first 31 years of my life was spent sleeping in feces, starving, locked in a cage.


My first experience with Americans was to be plastered by paparazzi all over every newspaper as a feral child who survived "the worst child abuse case in American history".


My 2nd experience with Americans was for Stephen King's film crew to show up, trespassing, unannounced, to film not one, but 2 movies on my farm, without my permission.


Resulted in people flocking to me as fans, pissing their pants to meet me and get my autograph, but never once becoming a friend... they already have friend who they run back to screaming they shook my hand.


I've never had a friend.


Never.


Not one.


My uncles, they only loved the money they could get from having an 8 year old child with 38DDD breasts.


I had my first "miscarriage" at age 14 when one of my uncles decided it was bad for business for me to be pregnant, so tossed me in a shower stall, and kicked my belly until I passed out. I woke up 3 days later, still in the shower stall, the entire bathroom a bloodbath.


ALL 7 so-called "miscarriages" have been that way. Outright murder.


Ben was the father of every murdered baby and he not only doesn't give a shit, he goes so far as to say, none of the babies were his, goes into wild, violent meltdowns accusing me of being "unrighteous and unfaithful", so he doesn't have to care... but when I was 12, he bought the exclusive rights to me, and I've not been with anyone else since.


Ben's cold, callous uncaring about the deaths, murders of his own children, at the hands of my uncles, is the number 1 primary reason why I like Avallac'h... 


Avallac'h loves babies and hates people who kill them. It's rare to find a man who wouldn't kill a baby, even their own. Real men hate babies. Avallac'h doesn't. Real men kill babies. Avallac'h kills baby killers. 


A man who doesn't kill babies is among the rarest thing there is. Real men are evil. All they care about is sex. They don't care about your health. They don't care about your safety. They only care about their dicks. And babies are in the way. Men massacre babies without batting an eye. 


Avallac'h's love for babies, alongside his fierce, violent protection of babies and their mothers, marks him as a rarity among men and a hero beyond any hero out there.


I was only one of the 140 nieces, my uncles regularly chained down, then jumped on their stomachs while they were pregnant. David was the worst. He was a 6'4" weight lifter, he'd tie the girls down, then beat their bellies with his 200lb weights.


That's the reality of child prostitution rings.


Go to my VOD list. Look for the VOD uploaded April 24, 2019, with the phrase "NSFW" in its title. The video includes footage of the sawed up bones, of 31 of those girls, being dug up on my farm.


Not everyone lived through their so-called "miscarriages". Nearly half died with their babies.


The FBI is still looking for more 200 girls between the ages of 4 and 12, who went missing in the 1970s and 1980s. I know where they are. August 16, 1991, uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater, alongside grandpa David Henry Atwater drove a caravan to Canton Lake, Canton Maine... I spent that 7 hour drive, tied up, gaged, and locked in the trunk of one of the several dozen cars involved in that caravan.


They Heaven's Gate murders happened just 5 years later and is what caused the FBI raid that rescued me and 140 others.


But the FBI first showed up at the farm in 1987.


The FBI started hanging around a lot in 1990.


And then, August 16, 1991, the entire clan gathered, from all over Canada, New England, Utah, Arizona, Colorado, Wyoming... thousands of them, in the biggest "family reunion" the Scottish Gypsies ever held... on Canton Lake.


Those 200+ missing girls... are at the bottom of Canton Lake. 


Lead by David Henry, Mervin Bruce, David, and Shem, the oldest of the grandchildren - men in their 30s and 40s - slit the throats of those girls, gutted them, sawed them up, boiled their meat off the bones, and then made a game, with the youngest children - boys all under the age of 12 - a contest to see who could throw bones the farthest, off a high cliff out into the lake...  in what they referred to as a "Moose poaching camp"... a huge hunting camp that they usually used for processing poached moose. ... a moose processing camp, owned, run, and operated by Barbie Jean.... 


They knew the FBI was coming down on them, so they decided to hide the evidence of the child prostitution ring.... thus they spent the night processing the meat of those 200+ young girls, and then, loaded the steaks into the backs of the door-to-door steak trucks that you see all over Maine, and sold them as "deer meat steaks".


That's what happened to the 200+ girls that went missing, and didn't get rescued with the 140 others, during the FBI raid that shut down the biggest child prostitution ring in America.


You see the constant police and backhoes digging up my farm at 146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine - it's been going on since the first bodies were dug up by coyotes in 2016, ... if you're local, you've seen it, the hundreds of rusty oil barrels the FBI and police are digging up in my yard... the crowds of locals gathering around my farm, and police simply saying: "We are investigating cannibals" and giving no more details.


The oldest barrels they've excavated so far, date to the 1920s.... the bulk of them are from the 1950s to 1970s.... 


In those oil barrels are the bones of children. Little girls, 8, 9, 10, 12 years olds, who dared commit the sin of getting pregnant when white Americans paid $20,000 to rape them.


Americans like to spread all kinds of rumors about the group they call "The Scottish Mafia", but the reality of the so-called Scottish Mafia, is far worse then the stupid ass rumors.... a clan of cannibals, who raised little girls like they cattle, girls who spent their childhoods in cages, let out only long enough to be raped by American men willing to pay the highest prices, then slaughtered eaten as steaks when they turned 14 years old.... that's the REAL Scottish Mafia, a very big far cry from what you see portrayed as "Scottish Mafia" in TV and movies isn't it?


We females were seen as livestock.


Kept in cages, even puppy mills wouldn't dream of using.


Let out long enough to be raped by strangers.


Our rape babies beaten out of our bellies, on the orders of their fathers, who the uncles blackmailed more money out of. Pay money to beat the 8 year old child carrying your rape baby, ensure no one finds out what you do in your spare time.


Then slaughtered for food when you turn 14.


Your bones, sawed up, packed in oil barrels, and buried in the swamps.


They thought the swamps would rot the metal barrels, rot the bones.


They were wrong, weren't they?


The peat bog moss of the swamp preserved them. And now they are being dug up.


Go watch the VOD. See the bones being excavated out of my farm for yourself.


That is what I grew up with.


Daily being raped from the time I was 4 years old


When any of children got pregnant, our bellies were crushed.


And when we reached the age of 14, we were cut up into steaks and sold as fucking deer meat.


Have you noticed that in 2016, the door-to-door deer steak trucks all but vanished in Maine? Yeah. Now you know why. A lot of them are in prison now for selling human not deer steaks.


#If you have any information regarding this case, FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the investigation. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322


I'm one of the few who survived, because I had papers. When I was 12, a millionaire high priest from Austria, bought exclusive rights to me, and he also got me legal paperwork: American citizenship, a social security number, a birth certificate - things females in this clan were not allowed to have. Ben is the only reason I went on to become one of the few girls still alive today, and not sold as deer steaks when I turned 14.


A lot of people don't know WHY I got so damned mad at ThingyChan, when she took events from my childhood and made BDSM sex fetish memes about it... because unlike ThingyChan, a lot of people don't know the full details of what happened to me, what I saw happen to my cousins.


Half the time they weren't killed humanely... Anastasia... was only 4 years old, when on August 21, 1991, she had her leg pulled off her body.... the intestines came out with the bone .... her breakfast half digested spewed out all over the floor mingled with the blood... it took her 5 damned days to finally bleed to death. And they left her laying their, while the older male cousins, Shem leading them, kicked her, punched her, and rapeded her, over and over again.


#THEY FUCKING TORTURED HER TO DEATH!


Do you know what it feels like to have your head held down on a cement cinder block while a more traditional red brick is slammed into your face?


I do!


It was a common punishment.


I can even begin to count how many times my jaw was broken that way.


#Do you see now how incredibly VILE the sex joke memes ThingChan made about the torture I went through, is?


#HOW DISGUSTING THINGYCHAN IS FOR CALLING A 4 YEAR OLD BEING TIED DOWN, RAPED, AND JAW BROKEN WITH A BRICK, A BDSM SEX FETISH!!!!!


ThingyChan is a bad as the fucking men who did that to us!


How dare she call the torture we went through BDSM sex fetishes!


Over 300 little girls between the ages of 4 and 14 were MURDERED!


What kind of a sick bastard makes sex jokes about THAT?


#WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HER!!!!!


There has never been a time in my life, when I wasn't suffering in pain from broken bones that never got set, ruptured organs that left me bleeding for weeks on end. Not once being allowed to go to the hospital.


My hip dysplasia was caused by having a 2 foot long foundation nail driven through my hip when I was 4 years old.  


I've heard people say sex was good, fun, happy... I've never had sex that wasn't forced, wasn't rape, wasn't brutal, and didn't leave me without broken bones or torn muscles. Sex is the worse, most evil, most horrible, vile, pain riddin form of torture there is. I can't even image how anyone could enjoy being beaten, having their bones broken, strangled, stabbed with knives, forks, and broken glass plates... sex the most awful thing there is, I can not understand how anyone would want it.


The only good thing about sex is the babies that come from it, but all of mine were murdered before they could be born. I was never allowed to raise any of my babies, and I nearly died after every beaten that killed my babies. 


The most recent one, they beat me with metal baseball bats and golf clubs, left me not only without my baby, but with my spine, hips, and knees broken, I'm crippled for the rest of my left and have spent the last 6 years relearning to walk.


No one has ever been kind to me.


No one has ever hugged me.


No one has ever kissed me.


No one has ever loved me.


There are only 2 things I've ever wanted: a baby and a friend.


America has laws, a woman my age can't adopt, you have to be under 45 in order to qualify for consideration to adopt a child in America; and the last beaten, left me unable to have children.


That leaves me with only one thing left to hope for in life: a friend, someone to talk to. I've never had that. Not once. More than half my life was spent locked in a cage, with no lights, no heat, total darkness, in a room with no windows, no nothing, just mold and fungus several inches thick on rotten walls, and a dirt ledge floor, bare ground, no floor boards. Alone for weeks on end, not knowing if or when I would ever see a person, if or when I would be given another burned saucepan to claw scrapings off of.


#When the FBI raid happened, I was


* 31 years old, 5'6" and weighed 87lbs. 


* my bones and muscles were (and still are) brittle and falling apart from 2 decades of extreme malnutrition. 


* I was nearly starved to death and the rescuers estimated I would have died with in the next few months had the raid not happened


* the room was filled with the bones of others who had died, been tossed in the room, their flesh eaten by the same rats that chewed on my arms and legs each night... they had all been beheaded, so no heads or skulls were ever found and the FBI continues to excavate the area and dredge local waters in search of the skulls, to this day


* It had been decades since I'd last eaten a meal, with as many as 2 weeks passing between being tossed a burned pan to scrap out. 


* I couldn't see in daylight because I'd spent so many years in total darkness. 


* And I didn't know how to speak human languages, was only able to speak cat and chicken, due to the only ones I had, had to talk to in that time, was the feral cats that snuck in through the cracks in the walls at night, and the chickens who were put in the room in the winter to protect them from the cold.


* I had no social skills, did not know how to communicate with others; was only able to communicate via writing; 


* because the only physical touch I had ever had from anyone was being raped or being beaten... I had (and still have) a massive phobia of humans getting near me and am prone to massive meltdowns of total hysteria if someone gets within 5 feet of me


* I had (and still have) a massive phobia of forks, seeing them as weapons, not food utensils, due to have been stabbed, scarred, and tortured with sharped forks by my uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater, so many dozens of times


* I was 37 years old before I found out I was a human, and not a demon, like I had been raised to believe


* I got my driving permit at age 34 and gt my driver's license at age 35


* I started school at age 35 and got my GED at age 37


* many of the children who did not reach adulthood and died in those horrendous conditions, killed themselves before reaching the age of 16... I was the only one rescued who not only reached adulthood, but was in my 30s at the time of the raid


* when the team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers assigned to me asked what kept me from killing myself like the bulk of the others had done... in those 27 years of hell, I held on to 2 memories: when I was 6 years old Grammy Eva had taken me to the Ice Capades, and when I was 7, in the weeks before Grammy Helen's death I had watched The Liberace Show with her every week.


* my 2 grammys - one who lived in Hawaii and wore Muumuu & kimono - the other who in her 80s drove a orange metal flake 3-wheel motorcycle and wore neon purple pantsuits; The Ice Capades, and The Liberace Show were my only memories of the outside world... bright, colourful, and happy... and are why I wear the bright coloured clothes I wear today


* I held onto the memories of my good, kind, loving, compassionate grammys, and that's the only thing that kept me alive, I thought that if I ever escaped, the outside world would be like them... but now that I've met the outside world, I know that my 2 grammys were flukes, and that I was locked up because I was a fluke like them, and humanity hates kindness, compassion, and goodness because the entirety of Humanity is EXACTLY like my uncles - cruel, evil, hateful, abusive, mean, incapable of love, compassionless, and not deserving of the life God gave them - In my years since the FBI, I've yet to met a single, solitary person, who was kind, good, compassionate, or loving


* the team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers assigned to me, all agreed that they did not believe I would ever be able to assimilate into HUMAN society, due to my extreme hatred for and fear of HUMANS, and my total 100% belief that I was not a HUMAN, caused by my mother's extreme paranoid schizophrenia, and her having locked me in a cage in that isolation room on my 8th birthday because she believed faeries had stolen her real daughter and replaced her with me, a demon changeling


* the team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers assigned to me, all agreed that I likely will never be able to feel any empathy for or towards HUMANS, due to 3 decades of being raised by violent mentally unstable humans who had severe untreated schizophrenia that they bounced off each other... with them glorifying the glories of them being HUMAN and us children being DEMONS unworthy of living in HUMAN presence


* the thing this group of 24 psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers found to be the single most disturbing fact of all, was that ...

#my 3 decades of neglect, abuse, and isolation was so extreme that I possess no sympathy, empathy, compassion, pity, or ability to identify with Humans - the only emotion I feel towards humans is loathsome hatred and the unnerving desire to kill them all


* they said my total lack of any good feelings towards humans, combined with my extreme desire to kill all humans, alongside my having been raised to believe I was not human, marked me as an anomaly that they didn't know how to properly diagnosed because nothing like my case had ever been encountered before and there was no diagnosis for it


* among things included in my diagnosis, was the phrase: 


>>>"is a UFO suicide cult survivor"


and


>>>"was raised by radical fundamentalist extremists"


and


>>>"was raised to believe she was not human"


and


>>>"was raised to believe she was a demon"


and


>>>"in interviewing the adults who raised her, 52 of then maintain the belief that she is a demon channeling that they refer to as 'Her Grandmother's Evil Spirit'", "they claimed the real child ceased to exist after her grandmother's funeral", "they claimed that upon returning from the funeral, the real child was gone and this demon changeling was left in her place"


and


>>>"evidence suggests that her grandmother was murdered and she witnessed this event, resulting in the adults who murdered her grandmother creating the delusion that she was a demon, removing her from public school, and locking her in a cage in order to prevent her from telling anyone about the grandmother's murder"


and


>>>"they said they could not let her out of the cage because she refused to reveal where the faeries had taken the real child to"


and


>>>"they said they had no choice but to beat her daily because of her refusal to reveal the location of the real child she had replaced"


and


>>>"they likewise believe that both grandmothers were not human, cutting they too were demons"


and


>>>"they cited that the girl inherited 'Helen's evil spirit' upon Helen's death and 'Eva's evil spirit' upon Eva's death"


and


>>>"alarmingly every adult involved in her rearing displays severe schizophrenia, total belief in demons, and is fully convinced that this girl is a demon changeling; scarily their delusions fed on each other, giving rise to even more delusions" 


and


>>>"was removed from public school at the age of 8 years old a few hours following her grandmother's funeral; an investigation was made by the superintendent of schools, but social workers never followed up on the girl's sudden disappearance from public eye. These horrific events may never have happened had The Maine State Department of Human Services taken those initial reports from the her teacher, principal, superintendent, school nurse, and the child's pediatrician, all of whom files individual reports regarding concerns for the girl's safety after witnessing several signs of abuse during the weeks prior to her disappearance"


and


>>>"reports were made to the Old Orchard Beach Police Department regarding the girl's disappearance from school. No follow up was done. It has been discovered that members of the family worked in the police department and destroyed the department's record of these reports made by concerned school officials" 


and 


>>>"has never experienced kind, good, or loving relationships"


 and


 >>>"since infancy has never been hugged, held, cuddled, or touched in a good way by other humans" 


and


>>>"displays post traumatic stress disorder symptoms similar to WW2 concentration camp victims"


and


>>>"can not remember her name, answers to the names 'four eyed retard' and 'competition bitch' which appear to be the only names her mother called her since the age of 8 years old"


and 


>>>"has never been taught to view humans as equals" 




* in the weeks following the FBI raid, my mother and her 3 sisters and 8 brothers, were all diagnosed with schizophrenia... 


* the 12 siblings, their 50+ spouses, and 400+ adult children who ran the child prostitution ring, were all diagnosed with sociopathy, 5 were diagnosed with megalomania, more the 3 dozen (including my mother) were diagnosed with Munchausen syndrome by proxy


* the group was classified as the most radical of the compounds that called themselves members of Heaven's Gate - 4 of it's leaders killed themselves in the infamous HaleBop murder/suicide that killed 39 people in California and was what led to the FBI raid a few weeks later


* the FBI raid would result in dozens of Catholic, Mormon, Pentecostal, Baptist, Born Again Holy Roller, New Life, and non-Denominational churches throughout southern Maine and the Greater Boston tri-state area being closed in the weeks/months that followed, in the mid-late 1990s, as hundreds of pedophile priests were arrested for having paid money (often $millions in church funds) to rape the young girls


* wild rumors began to surface, as horrified Americans dubbed the clan leaders involved in the Scottish Gypsy child prostitution ring as "The Scottish Mafia"


* while American movie producers had a field day stereotyping "Scottish Mafia" to mean anything and everything, we 140 survivors, had to fight claw and fang against paparazzi, alongside trying to even learn what the hell an American even was


* the worst of them, Stephen King arrived at the compound, with a huge movie crew and set out to filming a movie "The Thinner" based off what he referred to as "the Gypsies of Saco, Maine, the most REAL Gypsy style Gypsies I have ever encountered"... he and his crew were trespassers, had no permits or permissions, and today are in a legal battle against our clan trying to get the rights to release Thinner on DVD, something we absolutely refuse to sign off on - we are abhorred that he tried to capitalize on our decades of torture, pain, and suffering


* and all of the 140 others like myself, were also raised to believe they were locked in cages because they were demons


* as of 2020, more than half of the 140 survivors rescued from that FBI raid have commit suicide, due to the pressures of trying to BECOME A HUMAN and to date none have been able to see themselves as HUMANS or successfully assimilate in HUMAN society and most are still 100% convinced they are DEMONS and are unable to identify as HUMAN or live among HUMANS


* while I was 31 at the time of the FBI raid; the eldest of my brothers was only 7 years old - yes, I am old enough to be the grandmother of every one of my brothers; one of them, was so badly traumatised by the abuse he received, he does not talk still to this day


* given the fact that my mother has multi-hundreds of medical records that all list her as infertile and unable to have children, after MY 16 YEAR OLD MOTHER - a brutal "miscarriage" (caused by an overdose of sleeping pills, then having her head cracked open with a brick b an unknown attacker while she was unconscious) she had 4 years after I was born, combined with the dates of the births of my brothers vs the dates of the so-called "miscarriage" beatens, some of the psychiatrists, psychologists, and social workers involved in the case, believe that chances are high that my brothers, may actually be my sons, stolen from me by my own mother, after being beaten unconscious by her brother Mervin Bruce.... this theory was further emphasized by the fact that one of my brothers is a blue eyed blond (everyone in the Atwater family has dark skin, black eyes, and black hair, due to being 3/4 Native American and 1/4 black African) and looks exactly like Ben (a blue eyed blond Austrian), the father of my babies


#and yes, my mother was a VERY SMALL CHILD when I was born - she and I are closer in age to each other then most sisters are, which is also why people often mistake us for twin sisters and have difficulty telling us apart


* my father was 39 when I was born, making the age difference between my parents one of the youngest in the clan and one of the few where the father was less than 30 years older then the mother... the biggest age difference between mother and father is 57 years


* at age 14 I hold the record of being the OLDEST female to get pregnant, and was nicknamed by the uncles "the old maid" due to my being "so very old" the first time getting pregnant


* I was 1 of only 2 females to reach the age of 14 with fewer than 4 pregnancies under my belt


* because only 4% of all babies reach the 3 years old, babies are not named until after their 3rd birthday and are given only bare necessity minimum contact (feeding time once every 4 hours and diaper changes twice a day), to avoid emotional attachments to them; this results in most of the parents and adults feeling no emotions at all then the 97% of babies born to the clan die - a rate of about 3 baby deaths per week


* feeding babies and diaper changes are the responsibility of the "non-Human, Demon slaves", some of whom are let out of their cages for the hour long baby feeding and diaper changing sessions


* mothers rarely, if ever, saw their babies - this made it easy to sell excess (male) babies for $20,000 each to infertial American couples through fly-by-night (not legal) "adoption clinics"


* male blue eyed blond newborn babies are highly sought after by infertial American couples and can sell for as high as $200,000; thus wealthy blue-eyed blond priests from Catholic, Mormon, Pentecostal, New Life, and Baptist churches were sought out with offers to pay money to rape little girls


* the child prostitution ring was in operation for 57 years, bringing in multiple millions of dollars per year to the so-called "motel owners of Old Orchard Beach" aka The Cyr Clan, who owned it, before the FBI raid shut most of it down in 1997


* while as of 2020 most of the Atwater Clan men involved with running & managing the child prostitution ring have been arrested, the actual owners of the child prostitution ring (The Cyr Clan) whom the Atwater Clan worked for, have yet to be arrested and are still at large


* I do not know the name of the man who owned it, he rarely showed up on the farm, but when he did show up, he ALWAYS drove a giant backhoe, with a German Shepherd Dog riding in the bucket/scoop; the man looked exactly like Bo Duke from the Dukes of Hazzard, appeared to be TRYING to look like Bo Duke; he wasn't very big; most of the Atwater uncles who ran the clan were over 6'2" the tallest being 6'7" and the man from the Cyr clan barely reached to their shoulders, so he was around 5'7" tall; he was also very skinny and was flighty and nervous acting and seemed to very paranoid, he was loud and demanding and yelled a lot; in spite of his tiny size, my giant brutal, spouse abusing, child torturing uncles were terrified of him, but I never knew why; he reminded me of a chihuahua - small, loud, barking constantly, but scared of his own shadow; he was in his 30s at the time and had taken over "the business" from his father; he'd be around 65 or 70 years old today in 2020; he always spoke of owning a hotel, and every autumn arrived at the farm to hire my uncles to saw the copper pipes off of "competitors' hotels" and to burn down other hotels; throughout the 1980s and into the 2000s, every single year, no fewer than 4 and as many as 20 hotels were stripped of copper pipes and/or burned to the ground by my uncle Mervin Bruce Atwater for the Cyr Clan man, between October and December, in Old Orchard Beach, Maine - Mervin Bruce Atwater was arrested  2016 and Old Orchard Beach has not had a motel stipped of pipes or burned to the ground since; 


* the child prostitution ring was able to operate for such a very long time for 2 reasons: ... 1: there is no limit to the extremes a wealthy infertial American couple will go through to get their hands on a blue-eyed blond male newborn baby.... 2: there is no shortage of wealthy blue-eyed blond American men willing to jump on the opportunity to rape a 10 year old girl and willing to pay tens of thousands to do so


* mothers who protested this, were declared "Demons" and put in cages with the rest of the "Demons"


* the "non-Human, Demon slaves" were let out of their cages once a week for 3 hours; every Sunday to go to church, where they received weekly exorcisms to try to cast out their "Demons" and turn them "back into Humans again"


* the girl with the most babies the youngest, had had 7 pregnancies, including 2 sets of twins, by the time she was 14, making her the mother of 9 by the time she reached her 14th birthday - today she holds the clan record of the mother with the most pregnancies to live, the most babies to reach the age of 3, and the most children to reach the age of 18... with a whopping 37 of her pregnancies not only being born alive, but reaching the age of 3, and then surviving to reach the age of 18; at the age of 40, she had 200 grandchildren and 37 great-grandchildren 


* my mother suddenly and mysteriously "became infertile again" after the FBI raid and her freak unexplained popping out new babies days after each of my so-called "miscarriages"  (each one caused by being beaten unconscious at around 8 months pregnant, and waking up with the baby gone, followed by my mother's miraculous "giving birth" to a slightly premature baby a few weeks later) suddenly ceased to happen


* I was 37 years old when a team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers set out to training me how to do things like walk on my feet instead of crawl on all 4s like a cat


* while today in 2020, I've trained my mind to accept the fact that Humans eat daily, and not once a week, the 27 years of eating what most would consider less than a snack, one day every week or 2, I am today not physically able to eat a daily meal because my digestive track is not big enough or strong enough to hold what ... a side effect of 27 years of extreme malnutrition and starvation


* the extreme starvation went on for so long, that even today 20 years after the FBI raid, I look like I am 9 months pregnant, because of my permanently distended "starvation" abdomen, a side effect of 27 years of scraping burnings off of sauce pans once every 12 days, and never once having a full meal in that 27 year period... I was still only 8 years old when the bloated starvation belly formed...  because it is caused by extreme levels of starvation, no amount of dieting while remove the distended starvation belly, which can only be removed by reconstructive surgery of my entire digestive tract


* the distended starvation belly is the reason I never wear tight fitted clothes, can not wear pants or skirts, and can only wear big loose fitting caftans, muumuu, and kimono as "normal" clothes do not fit over my distended starvation belly, which is so big that even maternity pants don't stretch enough to fit


* I was also 37 years old when a team of psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers set out to teaching me how to speak in human languages instead of in chicken clucks and cat growls and hisses


* during attempting to teach me to speak, they made an alarming discovery: I spoke via chicken clucks and cat growls and hisses, not because I didn't know human languages or lacked understanding as they originally thought, but rather, because I'd been hit in the face with a brick so many times in my lifetime, that I couldn't open my jaw wide enough to form words


* x-rays and trips to a dentist, revealed massive damage to my jaw bones, cheek bones, sinus region bones, and teeth, from years of being baten in the face with a brick


* at 41 years of age I had reconstructive surgery of my jaw, including 7 root canals... meaning my jawbone and 21 of my teeth are porcelain - not real bone or teeth, resulting in I am now able to eat solid foods for the first time in my life and also am now able to talk normally (before the surgery, the damage to my jawbone was so bad that I was classified as "near-mute" due to an extreme inability to open my jaw enough to be able to form words.


* all of my molars (back teeth) were crumbled shards, with raw pulp exposed


* my jaw was broken and healed improperly, in so many places that doctors could not determine how many times I had suffered a broken jaw in my lifetime


* the broken teeth and jaw bones were a result of having my head held down on a cement cinder block, while a regular red brick was used to smash my jaw - this was a recurring punishment I received a few times a month, from the time I was 8 years old until I was 31 years old


* I stopped talking when I was 14 years old and was classified as mute for the next 16 years - I "refused" to talk, because the searing pain in my jaw was so bad that I could not open my mouth far enough to form words


* the reconstructive surgery at age 41, resulted in my being able to speak normally, for the first time in my life


* I was 42 years old when I found out the concept of things like friends and people talking to other people existed; and my desire to have a friend, someone I could talk to set in


* July 1, 2001 a backhoe with the mural of a big red apple painted on it's side, drove over my house, while me and my brothers were gone to the movie theater... my mom's brother Joey bragged on Facebook that he had hired the man to do it


* February 14, 2003 - I was stuck in traffic and arrived to my doctor's appointment 10 minutes late.... lucky for me, as I arrived in time to see the mushroom cloud as a bomb in my doctor's office blew up First Care Health Clinic on Saco Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, killing my doctor and 3 nurses, and leaving 21 patients in critical condition


* October 16, 2006 a bomb blew up my house and an 8 foot tall Ku Klux Klan cross was left behind in the rubal (keeping in mind, several members of the Atwarer family are members of the KKK)


* April 2007, the same backhoe returned to drive over my house yet again


* May 15, 2010, my car, the 1964 Dodge 330, was cut in half by a group of radical members of a local church known as The Saco Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints; my mother's church; her friend Joel Bailey went to prison 7 months later


* May 2013 Southern Maine Community College was evacuated when a bomb was found in the back corner of the classroom I was in


* July 2013, while driving home from my job at the Maine Mall, I was pulled off the road to wait, while police closed off the crossroad at my street.... the body of my cousin Murphy was laid out in the middle of the road, minus his head... the police found his head a few miles away at a different crossroad... he was one of the children abused and survivors rescued


* August 8, 2013 the infamous backhoe returned to drive over my house yet again and this now being the 5th house this backhoe had driven over shortly after rebuilding from the previous attack, I gave up rebuilding houses to live under a tent instead


* August 13, 2013, on my birthday, my mom's brother Joey posted on my FaceBook wall "paying that construction worker to demolish your house for your birthday was the best $600 I ever spent, Americans are such boobs, they'll do anything for money"


* November 14, 2013, while in a parking lot putting bags of art supplies in the back of my car 3 unknown people attacked me from behind with 2 metal baseball bats and a metal golf club. This was the first time since the FBI raid of 1997, that I had been pregnant again, and for nw the 7th time, had a "miscarriage" caused by a brutal beaten; but for the first time a beaten by stranger, not one of my uncles or my mother


* 2 of them were women who looked to be about 65 and acted like sisters or best friends, one with long curly orange red hair and cyberpunk looking neon lime green cyclops-style glasses and a off the shoulder sweater of large black and white stripes and screaming "I'm Kendra Silvermander, it's my turn to shine"; the other a blond wearing a denim button front work-shirt; the 3rd a bald man who acted like either the blond woman's son or lover, and had a football player muscle build


* the FBI is still trying to identify these 3 attackers; alarmingly they discovered that the username "Kendra Silvermander" appears on the friend lists of 7 of my mother's social network accounts, including Twitter, FaceBook, and Pinterest, and they now suspect that this mysterious Kendra Silvermander, the blond woman, and the bald man, are relatives of my mother's, most likely connected to her brother David


* the November 14, 2013 attack broke my spine, hips, and knees leaving me paralyzed for 5 months and 18 months to relearn to walk 


* I returned to work in 2015, but now with limited movement and requiring a cane


* November 2015 Scarborough WalMart evacuated when a bomb was found in the department I was stationed to work in


* March 2015 Barbie Jean's husband Paul Martel was arrested  by the FBI on a Boston Mass beach for selling bombs, bomb marking parts, automatic rifles, and machine guns to members of Isis; his bombs were identified both as the bombs that were used in the Boston Marathon attacks AND the bombs in my house, doctors' office, college, and work places; branding my mom's sister Barbie Jean as the FBi's number 1 suspect in ALL of the attacks prior


* March 2015 Barbie Jean's son Scott was arrested at Scarborough Downs Race Track for selling prescription bottles stolen from the Southern Maine Medical Center (aka The Barbara Bush Foundation Children's Hospital aka the Biddeford Hospital)


* April 10, 2015 - 12 members of my family were kidnapped


* April 12, 2015 - 2 escaped and returned home, both with their jaws broken and nearly all of their teeth knocked out


* May 15, 2015, the heads of 2 of them were returned (8 more heads would be returned in the weeks following)


* May 15, 2015 Barbie Jean posted a message on my FaceBook wall which read: "the next head nailed to a dor will be yours"... she posted it 5 hours before I discovered the heads nailed to my door


* June 2016  Scarborough WalMart evacuated a second time when a bomb was found yet again in the department I was stationed to work in


* July 2016 - Kendra Silvermander, the blond woman, and the bald man, this time in a gold Volvo suv, once again attacked me in a parking lot - this time at WalMart while I was putting groceries in my car... they attacked me from behind yet again, this tie with a shopping cart, while the redhead woman screamed yet again "I'm Kendra Silvermander it's my time to shine", while the blond woman screamed "that's EelKat she tried to kill my husband"


* since the July 2016 attack I have been bedridden with inoperable damage to my spinal column and unable walk unaided with the help of others


* though I have let's played games online since 2004 (on Myspace until moving to YouTube in 2008) it was a hobby I did only an hour or 2 a week. 


* because of my permanently crippled state for the rest of my life with no hope of ever walking normally again, I joined Twitch and set out to streaming 12 hours a day


And WHY has all this happen? Because my uncles Mervin Bruce Atwater and David Atwater and my aunt Barbra Jean, self proclaimed leaders of the "new" Heaven's Gate, decided I was a demon, not a human. They decided that when I was 8 years old and believe it to this day. And because in their minds, I'm not human, they think that gives them the right to make my life hell. But what can yes expect of someone who believes god is an alien, living on planet Kolob, riding on a mothership, hidden behind a comment, riding to earth, to take his reptilian alien form, and merge it with Trump to become god-king. What the fuck? Who in their right mind believes the Heaven's Gate alien bull crap? In case in you hadn't noticed, David, Bruce, Barbara and their crew are fucking insane... believing children are demons and god is alien reptile who merge with Trump, doesn't tell you they are insane?


And you, you reaction is: "Are you are Satan worshiper?"


What the fuck?


Will you be returning to streaming?


#Will you be returning to streaming?

At some point.

It is rather difficult to stream from the hospital and for some reason people seemed to have forgotten how very bad off my health is the past couple of years, or how much worse it got last summer of 2019, or how it continued to grow progressively worse last winter of 2019, and reached the point where I was no longer able to lift my head, let alone sit up in bed or use the keyboard by spring of 2020.

You forgot I was bedridden and struggle to either breath or even sit up, right?

Also... did you forget too that my family was murdered by the Ku Klux Klan, my 12 children kidnapped, 10 of them their heads nailed to my door, a backhoe drove over my house, 2 of my cars cut in half, my motorhome filled 5,000 gallons of sewage destroying everything inside, and an 8 foot tall white cross now stands in my driveway... because, at some point 500 years ago there was a Jewish person in my family and my 5th great grandmother was a black slave?

And I am currently dealing with a huge police and FBI murder, kidnapping, and hate crime investigation?

**FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the investigation. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322**


#So, in case you hadn't noticed, I'm little bit busy offline, free time for hobbies no longer exists, and streaming video games is NOT very high on my list of important things to do right now!!!

It has now been 8 months since my last daily stream and that is quite distressing for me.

My health is not well, and as you are likely now aware that one of our 12 kidnapped children has been found alive, you are therefore also now aware that there have been more things happening offline that I was unable to talk about online given the nature of those things, so while you knew I took a break because of my health and because of a stalker attacking me online, you were left unaware of some of the other things that were eating up my time and keeping me not having any free time left to stream.

I love streaming. I won't have done it for 16 years without ever once getting paid a single penny that whole time, if I didn't.

Life is very hectic right now and streaming is something I do as a hobby in my spare time. It's not a career for me. I don't rely on it for money. I have a career outside of Twitch.

Streams were daily, until June 2019, when my health got a lot worse. Something that is now presumed to have been pneumonia, hit my lungs hard and left me with survere COPD, though, doctors are questioning the possibility that I may have had Covid19 in June 2019, long before it was supposedly "discovered", considering I got it at a CosPlay convention where people from China were in attendance. 

Doctors say there are other cases of possible "early" Covid19 in Maine, Massachusetts, and Pennsylvania in June to September 2019, where people had an unidentified flu-like illness that was worse then pneumonia, and crippled their lungs, and made them bedridden for well over a year.

It is still unknown yet, what it was I contracted June 2019, it's similar to Covid19, but worse, apparently, as it does not go away in 14 days like Covid19 and has now been with me 14 months.

It was after that point, June 2019, streams were 3 or 5 days a week.

December 15, 2019 was my last consistently regular stream.  Some sort of weird flu-like illness hit me with a 103F fever, severe lung disease COPD, daily vomiting, and daily diarrhea that stayed me until May 2020. Doctors worry when a fever stays with you more then 3 days, and my fever stayed at 103F or higher for a full 6 months.

January 21, 2020, I fell and tore an abdominal muscle, so had to wait 12 weeks for that to heal.

February 14, 2020, yet another shooting at yet again Scarborough WalMart, left yet another family member in critical condition, this time a cousin who lived down the road from me.

February 27, 2020, stay at home orders went into effect, and stayed in effect until August 21, 2020. *(Today as I write this, it is August 31, 2020, so we are only 10 days out of the stay at home orders here in Maine)*

March 1, 2020, saw the first of 7 Covid19 deaths to take a friend or relative.

August 25, 2020 we had a HUGE update in the 6 year long FBI investigation of the kidnapping and murder of my 12/10 children... who at the time of the kidnapping on April 10, 2015, the oldest was 18 years old and the youngest was 4 years old... August 24, 2020, the youngest, was found alive, and returned to us the next day. She is now 10 and deeply traumatized.

On top of all of that, I'm still dealing with the psycho-bitch streamer and her gang of "deserve to be raped" raider simps, who are harassing me on more than a dozen social networks, in addition to their harassing me on Twitch.

So, as you can see, I've not had a lot of free time, between being in the hospital, being in doctors offices, dealing with the kidnapping/murder investigation.

It's a bit difficult to find free time, when I'm not hurting enough to be able to sit up in bed.

Like I said, I've got much bigger problems to deal with offline in the real world than that slutty assed whore streamer and her rape raid simps. 

I have to deal with offline issues, in my real world life, while shitty assed bitch face and her simps, run around the internet with their stupid ass sex harassment. 

Well I suppose it's good to know she and her simps live in such a safe and healthy lap of luxury that they have nothing better to do with their lives then run their whore mongering asses around the internet causing trouble for others.

I have enough problems to deal with, with real life offline, so the last thing I want is to come online and have fucking ass gangster wannabes harassing me on the internet.

And then, to have to deal with all of that, while also having to deal with my mounting health problems on top of that.

Therefore it is a bit difficult to find enough free time when I'm not in pain and am able to sit up in bed long enough to stream, on a day that is also free of police interviews, court trails, FBI investigations, kidnapping/murder crisis... in short, I've simply not had any free time to do any hobbies at all, thus video games and streaming has had to take a hiatus.

And very discouraging, to FINALLY have free time to stream, only to have my streams invaded by some stupid ass slutty whore psycho bitch and her simpering, whimpering simps.

I stream when I can, and right now, there's not a lot of free time to do so... and when I do have that free time, I don't like having it invaded by some psycho bitch on the internet and her haram herd of sex crazed men who won't leave me alone and refuses to stop harassing me on her command.

It is deeply distressing to me, to not have time free enough from pain to be able to sit up in bed long enough to stream.

And it is even more distressing for me to be attacked every time I stream, by a hate mongering cyber bully.

I've had no one to talk to through any of this. The kidnapping. The murders. The bomb blowing up out house. It's why I drown out life with so many hours of Witcher 3. It's why I came to Twitch. I desperately needed a friend. Anyone. I needed someone to talk to. I have no one offline. Everyone I had to talk to was murdered. All at once. I've tried for so many years to ignore the harassment and hate I get on Twitch, in the hope that someone somewhere would want to be my friend.  I have no one no where. Not offline, nor online, and the endless daily bullying and harassment from the evil sex crazed streamer and her simps, has just been rubbing salt in a wound that has festered for years.

You people are hateful and cruel.

How dare any of you have the gaul to ask me to come back, after hell you put me through, while every one of you knew the hell I was going through offline.

You are all evil.

Why should I come back?

What incentive do I even have to stream? When the only reason I streamed at all, was because I needed someone to talk to after my family was murdered and every one of you went out of your way to prove how much you hated me, by spreading vicious, malicious sex rumors and lies about me on every fucking social network you could find?

#As for the additional question of have I stopped playing the game?

No.

I'm still playing the game. And, obviously still recording it, as can be seen by the continued daily uploads of new images here. You just missed out on seeing almost a full year of it.

My time with the game has been cut back so often only an hour a day, rather than 9 hours a day like was seen in my daily streams.

As I said, I'm not able to sit up very long and until I'm able to sit up for at least 3 hours without passing out from the searing pain, it's not possible for me to stream.

As it stands right now, any day I wake up in the morning is a good day. I gave up on the hope having a day of no pain and days I can sit up for more then a few minutes are rare and far between.

I'm alone for weeks on end with no one to help me cook or bathe or use the toilet, and my caretaker only checks in on me once every 14 days or more.

So, I still record gameplay every day, even if only for 15 minutes, because even if no one is watching because I'm too weak too sit up long enough to upload it, at least the camera is there for me to talk to.

In the first few weeks, of the year, I was still uploading the recordings, even though only an hour long, but it has become somewhat pointless to do so, because every video I upload, just means I'll have psychobitch streamer and her community lashing out their hateful emails by the hundreds, within a few hours of uploading the recording.

The video will get at 10 views, and yet, I'll get no fewer then 800 emails from her followers. None of whom watched the video, as can be proven by it only having 10 views.

One of them will watch it, tell the others, who knows what, and suddenly they attack in a mass hoard, without anyone of them having watched the video.

It happens with stream I do and every video I upload.

This woman and her people are full of monstrous amounts of hate.

I've downloaded all of her 200+ VODs about me and made a screen capture recording of her 2,000+ Discord posts about me. So, I know what she says to them, that gets them so worked up.

What I don't understand is, why she says those things about me, but even more, why do her followers believe her lie about me without question?

I know for a fact, they've not watched my streams or videos, and are clueless to the fact she is lying about me to them, because of this.

Had these people taken the time to watch my streams and videos, or even read my profile, they would have known just how much she is lying to them.


But they they believe her without question and attack on her command, without ever stopping to ask themselves, if anything she said about me is true.


They don't make any effort to find out anything about me.


They don't reach out to try to get to know me.


Like mindless sheep, they just attack on her command, without ever seeking out the truth.


It's been many years, since the last time any one has had anything good to say to or about me, all because this one woman hates me for some unknown reason, and gathers up mass hoards of hundreds, and now thousands of gangsterous hate mongers, and with each new round of hate emails, it becomes ever more pointless to even record anything at all.


I do not know why this streamer hates me so much or why she persists, for so many years, in sending her followers to attack me into lynch mob crazed hate frenzies.


I've tried ignoring them for so very long now, but my health has deteriorated so much this past year, that I no longer have the physical strength to sit up and play video games any more.... and even still, with streams no longer happening, and me in the hospital more often then not, even still, she sics her hateful gang on me. And I still don't know why.


Do you know what it is like to be lying in a hospital, dying, too weak to even lift your head up, and the **ONLY** contact you get from anyone, is endless hundreds of notifications, of the endless hundreds of hate fueled emails from this woman and her Discord community?


She is a very evil woman, and she leads a very evil crowd of equally evil people.


She and her community are very cruel. They are as cruel as they are hateful.


It is horrible, being alone, for years on end, and streaming being my only contact with anyone, and being maliciously attacked by a huge group, that seems to have no motive, other than they think it is fun to hurt crippled elderly people.


Why do such evil people exist?


Why is she so full of hate?


And why is she directing all of this hate towards me?


If you take part in harassing and bullying someone, YOU are a mean person.


No, someone abusing you does NOT make you mean. I guarantee I've received way more abuse then you ever have, and I choose to be kind and helpful to everyone... even mean people like YOU.


It's YOUR CHOICE to be mean.


No one makes you be mean.


To be a better person, you have to first CHOOSE to be better then you are now.


Everything you do makes a difference in the lives of others.


Are you a GOOD impact on their lives or a BAD one?


Did your words and actions HELP someone today or HURT someone today?


Are you a GOOD person?


Or are you EVIL?


Look in the mirror and find out.


A true kind person would not have said and done the things this streamer and her massive community has said and done.



............


#UPDATE: September 10, 2020: The offline vandalism and offline harassment and destruction of property continues.

The backhoe has returned and we have massive amounts of destruction to our farm. 

But it's not the same backhoe that has been arriving for years... and in every attack, this group always does a particular thing, which has never been released to the public, only police and FBI know what this thing is... and this one thing is HOW copycat attacks have been identified from the actual Ku Klux Klan attacks.

The copycats attacks have never had this one particular thing.

The Ku Klux Klan attacks have ALWAYS had this one particular thing.

The FBI's #1 suspect in being the Ku Klux Klan member instigating the attacks since 2001, died rather recently from Covod-19.

Since his death there have been no attacks at all. Not one. None big. None small. Nothing. Everything stopped immediately the week of his death.

The evidence HIGHLY looks like a copycat... different backhoe... different "type" of attack than is "normal"... except one thing... the one particular thing that only police and FBI know about showed, kind of, almost, but not quite.

It appears that before he died, he told a "successor" to continue the attacks, giving instructions of specific things to do, including that one particular thing... BUT... because a different person is doing the attack, the "correct stuff" is there, but done "wrong".

Enough is different that it LOOKS like a copy cat, by that one particular thing is there, indicating, that the man who died WAS in fact the attacker since 2001, and he has a "successor" to continue his attacks after his death... making this NOT a copycat attack, but rather an actual Ku Klux Klan attack, with a different leader, leading the attack now.

I am so sick of these people showing up at my house.

Why won't they leave me alone?

It was bad enough the original attacks by the Ku Klux Klan without that psycho streamer gathering up copycat attackers to get in on it and confuse evidence.

We never had copy cat attacks before the streamer sent them, which has made gathering evidance of the real Ku Klux Klan attacks far more difficult as we now have a group of simps copycatting on orders of a streamer.

My offline life was frustrating enough without this streamer and her simps getting jollies off on copycatting Ku Klux Klan hate crimes.

I'm sick of daily having to deal with police, because some psycho bitch streamer thinks it's funny to keep sending people to my yard to destroy my cars.

What the fuck is wrong with her?

Why is she doing this?

What type of  a sick fuck supports the Ku Klux Klan and thinks copy catting Ku Klux Klan hate crimes is fun?

We've had to deal with the Ku Klux Klan attacks on our family since 2001, and now because of this sick fucked up psycho streamer, now we have to deal with copycat attacks as well.

So the attack which happened today, has all of us - me, my family, the police, and the FBI - confused, because usually the assumption is it is always the same group, but since the streamer bitch started sending her simps to do the copycat attacks, now it makes the police and FBI investigations of each attack far more difficult because they have to go back and look at every old detail of old attacks and compare with new attacks to see is this the same group that always attacks or is it the new copycat group the steamer sent?

But this attack today... it doesn't look like it was EITHER the original group of Ku Klux Klan OR the new simp group from the streamer... so it appears to be now there is a THIRD hate group attacking my family.


:(


All evidence points to Don Cooliard, but he can not be reached, and that is unusual and, this sort of extreme violence is highly unlike him, and usually he is easily reached.

Because SO MUCH evidence points to Don Cooliard and it is so unlike him to do anything like this, it appears that someone is trying to frame him for this crime.

If you have any information about this attack, please call The Old Orchard Beach Police Department at 1 (207) 934 - 4911

And you know what else? These trespassers are more stupid then most.

Why?

Because we are in quarantine... my family... 9 have died from Covid-19, and others are still contagious.

We have quarantined ourselves up in here, cut off, isolated, to make sure we don't spread it.

Covid-19 has hit the clan hard.

So any idiot trespassing on our land right now, has come into contact with the coronavirus and taken it back to their own families.

With how many people have died here, you're giving yourself a death sentence just driving too close to my driveway. My land is a hotspot for coronavirus and you're a fucking idiot for coming up in here, where death is all around, permeating the air. Look how many clansman are dead from Covid-19 this year. And you dare walk in here, in the middle of it?

Are you one of those idiots who thinks Covid-19 is a hoax? Did you think you wouldn't get it if you trespassed here, where hundreds of people in one family have it? 

There is no way these vandals came in here and did NOT pick up Covid-19 and carry it out of here with them.

You watch now... Maine had only 500 cases of Covid-19... you watch now... it'll spread through the entire state now... and then you'll know who trespassed here... because no one in Maine outside of the clan had it. You fucking trespassing bastard, you just gave the entire state of Maine a death sentence. And for what? So you could white power jollies off on harassing us Gypsies with out Jewish DNA?

There are signs up around the yard, warning people to stay out because Covid-19 is here, and you set foot in my yard, near my car, near my motorhome... you WILL get Covid-19 too. You stupid idiots. They will die. Their parents will die. Their children will die. All because they wanted to be stupid idiots, trespassing where they didn't belong, vandalising for who know what reason. We are in quarantine for a reason and you bastards who broke in here last night... all we have to do is watch the news... watch for Covid-19 to now spread across Maine, something it hasn't done all year... to know who you are, because by walking in my yard last night, you picked up Covid-19, and now every step you take across the state of Maine, you're going to give Covid-19 to every person you meet.


Did you not think of that before trespassing not only into Gypsy territory, but also into a community that is dying from a pandemic.


Why would you be so stupid as to come in here and risk the lives of everyone in your family, all your friends, everyone you love, every one they love, and ultimately everyone in the state. You stupid idiot.

.......


UPDATE: October 1, 2020... yet another uncle has died. This is now the 8th Covid-19 death in the clan since March.


.........


UPDATE: October 19, 2020:


You remember my aunt who has 8 husbands?


She is 83 years old.


Today, she just married husband #9.


She now has 9 husband... plus the man she has lived with since she was 16, whom refused to marry her, but let's her and her, now 9, husbands live with him.


So... she now has 9, almost 10, husbands.


Interestingly, her husbands keep getting younger.


Every man she marries is always between the age of 25 to 30 when she marries him.


She adds a new husband every 8 to 12 years.


She is progressively older than each husband, with her being between 20 to 50 years older then each of her husbands.


At 83 years old, she is 60 years older then her latest/9th husband who is only 27.


When most people think of polygamy, especially Mormon polygamists like my family, they usually think of a man with lots of wives, but women like my aunt, with lots of husbands are actually more common in Mormon culture than men with lots of wives are.


And... when people hear of her, they always ask if she is rich and the men are gold diggers, because why else would so many very young men, marry this old lady. No. She has no job, no savings, no inheritance, no money at all. In fact, man #1, whom she never married has all the money and supports her AND all of her husbands.


Her husbands are strange to say the least... they live in various tents set up on the front porch, lawn, and back yard... they don't live in the house.


I do not understand her... but I even less understand this bizarre group of men whom have married her.


In any case... today she married husband #9.


...........................


#October 28, 2020: 



There has been yet another death in my family. This one in my immediate family *(those that live in the same house as me)*, bringing the total of immediate family member deaths up to 3 since March 2020, and the number of extended family deaths *(uncles, cousins, etc, who do not live with me)* up to 9 since March 2020. The combined total of 12 deaths in the family since March 2020.


...........................



#UPDATE: November 4, 2020:


Yes, I am still planning on coming back to streaming again. I know when I stopped, I had hoped to be back by September and it is now November. Health and offline life issues are still taking up huge amounts of time, leaving me with almost no free time for hobbies. Streaming has always been a hobby for me. I've never accepted money for it, not since I started in 2004, 16 years ago. 


This is of course also why I have no regular schedule, as I stream after work and around my health, keeping in mind recent changes included I now take care of my disabled elderly dad, which also takes up huge amounts of time. 2020's Covid-19 and local white-power riots added to more issues on top of issues we were already dealing with before Covid-19 & riots got added to the mix. 


I will continue to upload a few videos each month, as I've been doing since taking this break from streaming, but as of right now, I still have no exact idea of when I'll be able to return to daily live streams, as life is just very hectic right now and I've no free time left over at the end of each day, to even make an attempt to stream.


...........................


UPDATE: November 25, 2020: The vandalism and offline harassment and destruction of property continues, backhoe was back again today.



.............




.............


#UPDATE: January 2, 2020:


Are the trespassers and vandals who attacked our farm in September happy with the results now?

24,201 are now dead.

In September, Maine had only 500 cases and 21 deaths, now January 2st, how fast that number has grown... Covid-19 has spread like wildfire across the state.

And I can't help but notice some of the name of some of the dead. Several of the suspects in the attacks on my family over the years, now find their names on the list of Maine many dead from Covid-19.

Scroll back up to the update from September 10, 2020. 

You stupid idiots.

Do you STILL think trespassing on Gypsy land, to harass Jews was worth it? You jackasses with your bull headed racism have condemned the entire state of Maine to death at the hands of Covid-19.

We told everyone it was here. You should have believed us and stayed away.


Quick answers to the questions that get asked the most:

**Quick answers to the questions that get asked the most:**




* Yes, I am Scottish.


* No, I'm not interested in dating you, I've been with my *(72 year old)* partner for 32 years. Twitch is NOT a dating site, if you are looking for a date, stop harassing women on streaming sites and go look for the women on actual dating sites, who are actually looking for dates.


* Yes, I know you think I'm your age, but chances are high that I'm 40+ years older than you; I'm likely older than your grandmother. 


* No, I'm not a wrinkled up hag like your mom or grandmom, both of whom a much younger than me, because I'm a 5th generation Mormon and that means, I've never smoked, I've never used drugs, I don't eat meat, I don't wear make-up, no chemicals ever touch my skin, so I DO in fact look my age, because I've not prematurely aged myself like 90% of American women have done. It's THEM who look prematurely old, not me who looks incredibly young for me age.


* No, I can not talk louder. I have Stackibotrin Poisoning. I've had it since I was 8 years old. Any attempt to raise my voice, and activities such as laughing, sneezing, or yelling, causes me to start coughing up blood. And once blood starts gushing from my mouth and nose, it will continue to do so for 3 or 4 hours or until I pass out from blood loss, whichever comes first. So, no, I can not speak about a whisper as doing so is rather life threatening for me.


* No, I can not do anything about the camera shake issues that frequently happen during gameplay. I have seizures and tremors, and frequently my hands start shaking uncontrollably, and that is what you are seeing. It is my hand trembling as I hold the keyboard/mouse/control that is causing the "screen shake" which is actual my hands shaking and inadvertently shaking character movement in game. I had a stroke October 21, 2010 which caused me to suffer from many nerve damage issues, including these hand tremors.


* Yes, Bible readings ARE something you hear in most of my streams. Yes, these are Christian streams, and yes, most topics I talk about while playing the game revolve around Bible studies and Church news.


* I am and 5th generation Mormon, born and raised on a Fundamentalist LDS compound, on a poultry farm with 5k head of chicken, in a society that is far more isolated from modern society than the Amish ever dreamed of being; 


* I was 31 years old the first, the first time I had contact with anyone outside the compound or even was made aware that a world outside of the compound existed at all


* Scottish is my native language


* I've not had enough interaction with Americans to be able to fully understand their language.


* American English is foreign to me and I only know the meanings of American words from reading a 7,000 page 1941

 Dictionary and a 99 volume 1983 Funk and Wagner's Encyclopedia.


* If you say a word which did not exist in 1941, I have clue what you are saying.


* Have have no knowledge or understand of slang words, words with hidden meaning, innuendos, street talk, or other such American lingos that do not exist in a 1941 Dictionary.


* If you speak to me in slang words, words with hidden meaning, innuendos, street talk, or other such American lingos, I will not understand you and unless you take the time to step by step explain the meanings of the words you are using, I also have no one to translate your words for me.


* I started playing video games in 1978


* I started streaming in 2004 (on MySpace)


* I've been playing video games for 42 years


* I've been streaming gameplays for 16 years


* I've streamed more then 2,000 games across 13 different consoles, not including PC and online games


* Yes, I really do love Avallac'h more than any other fictional character from any form of media.


* No, I am NOT here to entertain you.


* No, I'm not interested in voting for either Trump or Biden - I think they are both jackasses. Let me repeat this... I'm Scottish. That means I don't give 2 shits about your American politics. Please take your Trumpism, your Bidenism, your leftism, your rightism, your liberalism, your conservatism, and whatever other political-isms you may have and go someplace else with them. Your politics are dull, boring, utterly uninteresting to me, and not welcomed here.


* No, I'm NOT playing the game for you. I'm playing the game for me.


* No, I've said it before, I'll say it again... I am NOT here to flash my boobs, satisfy your dick, or look for a date.


* No, I WILL NOT stop playing the game as Avallac'h or stop having Ciri with him.


* Yes, I really do like Avallac'h.


* No, I am not pretending to like Avallac'h just to piss you off.


* Yes. Ciri is a rapist, a murderer, a serial Lorena Bobbitt, a crackhead drug addict, a gutter scum drunk, a slut, a whore, and a prostitute. Read the novels. 


* No, I will NOT, flash titties for bitties.


* Yes, you ARE a toxic fan when you try to pressure people to do things they don't wanna do. Stop harassing me. Stop harassing other streamers too. You wouldn't like it if people treated you the way you treat us and **YOU KNOW IT!**


* Yes, **NO IS AN ANSWER!**


* No. Me quoting the facts about Ciri being a rapist, a murderer, a serial Lorena Bobbitt, a crackhead drug addict, a gutter scum drunk, a slut, a whore, and a prostitute, does not = me hating Ciri. It's just me quoting lines from the novels. 


* No, you trying to "cancel" me on Twitter, Discord, or wherever else, does not change the fact that in the novels Ciri is a rapist, a murderer, a serial Lorena Bobbitt, a crackhead drug addict, a gutter scum drunk, a slut, a whore, and a prostitute. 


* Yes, I AM rolling on the floor laughing my ass off while watching you defend Ciri in my chat, completely dismissing any evidence of her wrongdoing, just because you are a devoted fan of Ciri, in spite of Ciri being a rapist, a murderer, a serial Lorena Bobbitt, a crackhead drug addict, a gutter scum drunk, a slut, a whore, and a prostitute in the novels.


* Yes, I am aware of the irony of me liking Avallac'h. But, guess what, he's not a saint, nor do I call him a saint. Avallac'h is not sweet. Avallac'h is not innocent. Avallac'h is not wholesome. Avallac'h is not perfect. Avallac'h is not kind. Unlike you, I'm not a hypocrite blinded by my fandom. I am well aware he's a low down piece of shit and can still like him anyways without pretending he's sweet, kind, innocent, wholesome. I can like him in spite of his flaws and I can accept that he has those flaws.


* Yes, you are a delusional, deluded idiot when you say Ciri is sweet. Ciri is innocent. Ciri is wholesome. Ciri is perfect. Ciri is kind. If you have ever said any of those things about Ciri, than yes, you ARE a hypocrite blinded by your fandom. Read the novels. Ciri is not sweet. Ciri is not innocent. Ciri is not wholesome. Ciri is not perfect. Ciri is not kind. You can like Ciri all you want, but like her for the piece shit she really is and not the innocent saint you want her to be.


* Yes, I am a capable of liking Ciri for who she is, flaws and all. I am well aware she's a low down piece of shit and can still like her anyways without pretending she's sweet, kind, innocent, or wholesome. I can like her in spite of her flaws and I can accept that she has those flaws. I don't have to pretend she's sweet, kind, innocent, or wholesome in order to like her. Too bad you can't do that as well.


* What would you do if you were in a coma and needed medical and your best friend left you alone to go to your house breaking and entering, rip the front door off the hinges, murder in cold blood your security officer at said door, go through your personal belongings, threaten to kill your wife when she asks them to leave, and than trashes and vandalises and graffitis everything you own? Ciri did ALL of that and more, in just ONE quest of the game. 5 felonies, including murder, that in America would land Ciri a minimum of 173 years in prison. And that doesn't even come close to scratching the surface of all the HUNDREDS of felonies including several murders and rapes that she commits in the novels. Explain to me again WHY it is you chant in my chat that Ciri is sweet, innocent, and wholesome?


* Yes, you can be a fan of Ciri all you want. You can be a fan of ANY ONE you want to be a fan of.


* No, you being a fan of Ciri, does NOT give you the right to post death threats in my chat, post rape threats in my chat, hire thugs to show up at my house with guns, go to my brothers' workplace to harass them at work, go to my dad's house to harass him, do $30k in damages to my car which is STILL being repaired 2 years later and I've been without transportation for 2 fucking years because of violent vandalising dipshits, or any of the other shit you pulled because thought being a Ciri fan gave you the right to do said things to a fan of Avallac'h!


* Yes, you are toxic when I very politely answered you and you spam me with thousands of hateful comments, whispers, and emails just because you are too stupid and immature too accept that NO is an answer.


* Yes, I DO have the right to bitch at you and call you out for being the retarded jackass dipshit you are, when you harass me for endless months because you are too much of a selfish, self-righteous cry baby to accept NO is an answer. If you don't want to be called a retarded jackass, then stop acting like a retarded jackass.


* Yes, I REALLY DO like Ciri and Avallac'h as a couple, and no, you asking me "Are you sure, but don't you know what he did?" 50,000 times isn't going to change that.


* No, I do NOT post pictures of Ciri and Avallac'h hugging and kissing just to piss you off. You are an entitled self-righteous little prick. Grow up and get over yourself.


* No, I am NOT playing the game as Avallac'h just to annoy you. Who died and made you god? Newsflash, the world doesn't revolve around you.


* Yes, I AM aware Avallac'h is a dick. But I still like him.


* Yes, I AM aware Avallac'h is a douchebag. But I still like him.


* Yes, I AM aware Avallac'h is a jackass. But I still like him.


* Yes, I AM aware Avallac'h is asshole. But I still like him.


* Yes, I AM aware Avallac'h is an arroent, egotistical, self centered, evil, old bastard. But I still like him.


* Yes, I AM aware Avallac'h is a polygamist. Why do you think that would bother me? Did you forget I was a Mormon?


* Yes, I did grow up in a polygamist family. My mother had 2 husbands. Her father had 2 wives. On October 19, 2020, my 83 year old aunt with 8 husbands, married her 9th husband.  My uncle with the most wives has 5 he's married to and 10 ex-wives who still live with him. I have 400+ first cousins, and in total 4,000+ aunts, uncles, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd cousins. We all lived together.


* Yes, I AM that Maine's author world famous for the thousands of huge billboard signs around every inch of her yard.


* Yes, we ARE that wild crazy Mormon UFO Cult Gypsy Clan that draws millions of tourists from around the world to Maine forests every year in hopes of getting a glimpse of us.


* Yes, I really am The Queen of The Scottish Gypsies.


* Yes, I AM playing Witcher 3 like it was a horse riding simulator.


* No, I will NOT stop riding the horse and go do quests.


* No, I will NOT stop picking flowers and go do quests.


* No, I will NOT stop stop swimming and go do quests.


* No, I will NOT stop looting everything in the game and go do quests.


* No, I'm not going to play a quest.


* Yes, I really am NOT doing quests.


* Yes, I really did remove all nudity from the game.


* No, we do not do the sex quest. What part of I am a Mormon do you not understand?


* Yes, I will ban you if you talk about anything in any way, shape, or form related to sex. Again, what part of I am a Mormon do you not understand?


* Yes, I will also ban you from my channel if I see you doing or saying anything remotely sexual on your channel or in someone else's channel. 


I was sexually abused, raped, and tortured when I was  8 years old. I have severe post traumatic stress disorder and mention of sex triggers it. 


#I have an actual MEDICAL NEED to avoid all contact with any mention of anything to do with sex, whatsoever.


* No, sex is not allowed in any part of my life, offline or online, and I don't want perverted people in my life. What part of, I have severe post traumatic stress disorder do you not understand?


* No, I don't hate Ciri


* No, having Ciri and Avallac'h as a couple DOES NOT = me hating Ciri


* Yes, Ciri and Avallac'h are a cannon couple in the novels, so much so that they spent 24 pages doing absolutely nothing but planning having a baby


* No, Ciri is NOT a lesbian. Ciri has 139 sexual/romantic relationships in the novels. 138 of her sex partners were male. Only 1 of her sex partners was female. She was with 67 men and 1 woman before she was with Avallac'h, was with 2 other men WHILE she was with Avallac'h, and was with 68 men after she was with Avallac'h. Avallac'h was her 69th partner, no matter which way you count it.


* No, 10 year old Ciri passing out from an overdose and being raped by 40 year old Mistel, DOES NOT = a cute lesbian couple; No, rape is not cute; No, pedophiles are not cute either; No, an adult raping a child does NOT constitute them being a cute lesbian couple.


* No, a female who has sex with 138 men and in between that is raped by 1 woman, is NOT a lesbian.


* No, Ciri being raped by 1 woman, in between Ciri's wild sex life with 138 men, does NOT make Ciri a lesbian.



* No, Ciri is NOT your waifu. Ciri is a fictional character. Ciri is not real.


* No, Ciri is NOT cheating you with Avallac'h. Ciri is NOT real. Avallac'h is NOT real either.


* No, you do not need to come to my house and shoot me in the head in order to stop Ciri from cheating on you with Avallac'h. You need psychiatric help. Please get help.


* No, Ciri is NOT sweet, innocent, kind, loving, caring, or wholesome, so stop saying she is; read the novels: Ciri is a rapist, a murderer, an animal abuser, a drug addict, a drunk, had an abortion, and is a trashy slutty assed whore... all things she started doing between the age of 7 to 10. Keep in mind, Ciri is only 14 years old when the novels end, and she's only 16 years old in the game. Ciri in the novels is the type of person who pulls wings off butterflies for the fun of watching others suffer and would shove your head in a toilet if you met her at school. She is a mean girl bully so extreme that she makes mean girl bullies look kind.


* No, me telling you that Ciri is a rapist, a murderer, an animal abuser, a drug addict, a drunk, had an abortion, and is a trashy slutty assed whore in the novels DOES NOT = I hate Ciri; it means I can accept Ciri for who she is... did you forget, I like Avallac'h, who is admittingly a very bad person, do you REALLY think, Ciri being a bad person would make me hate her if Avallac'h can be a bad person without me hating him? and I'm sick of delusional people like you calling her sweet, innocent, kind, loving, caring, or wholesome when she is not even close to being ANY of those things.


* YOU ARE A HYPOCRITE... you hate Avallac'h with a vengeance for drawing porn of Ciri, having multiple lovers, being arrogant, and fighting back in self defence when Ciri raped and castrated him... things that are barely classified as bad and our real world wouldn't even warrant an arrest, while you glorify Ciri as sweet, innocent, kind, loving, caring, and wholesome turning a blind eye to the fact that Ciri is a rapist, a murderer, an animal abuser, a drug addict, a drunk, had an abortion, and is a trashy slutty assed whore, and daily commits crimes so heinous that in our real world she would get several dozen life sentences.... uhm... how do you explain your double standards?


* Explain to me why you are bitching that you hate Avallac'h because he drew porn of Ciri, and yet... more than 7,000 of you who made this complaint in my chat... I checked your profiles, and *couch*... I SAW the porn YOU draw of Ciri and post on your Twitters and Tumblrs... please explain your raging hypocrisy to me? Why are you lashing hate in my chat over Avallac'h doing the EXACT SAME THING YOU are doing?


* No, you bullying me, because YOU are in denial and are unable to come to terms with Ciri for who she really is, is NEVER going to change the fact that Ciri in the novels is a rapist, a murderer, an animal abuser, a drug addict, a drunk, had an abortion, and is a trashy slutty assed whore; and I'm tired of you bullying me because you want to pretend Ciri is some innocent waif when she's not.


* If you want to pretend Ciri is sweet, innocent, kind, loving, caring, or wholesome, fine, go right ahead... but that DOES NOT give you the right to send me thousands of emails, DMs, whispers, private messages, comments, replies, and chat posts full of death threats. 


* In case you hadn't noticed... we love Avallac'h here & we love him and Ciri together as a couple. If that bothers you... please leave.... 


* Yes, I really am sick and tired of you dipshits harassing me and than following my viewers, to their channels and harassing them.


* Yes, we are the Gypsy clan Stephen King illegally filmed and put footage of in his Thinner movie


* Yes, I am the real world "Gypsy Witch" who lives next door to Stephen King and inspired him to create his fictional Gypsy Witch for The Thinner


* Yes, I am the child who survived Heaven's Gate


* No, you chanting "Kool-Aid" in my chat is NOT funny.


* Yes, I do know what flavor the Kool-Aid was, it was grape.


* No, you recommending I play a game because it has an UFO suicide cult easter egg to Heaven's Gate is not funny


* Yes, I will ban you if you mention Heaven's Gate, Kool-Aid, UFOs, George Applewhite, aliens, murder-suicide cults, The Thinner, Christine, or Stephen King in my chat.


* Yes, I am the "feral child", who was locked in a 2'x3' rusted cage when I was 8 years old and let out when I was 31 years old, when I was rescued during the FBI raid of the Heaven's Gate compound in Maine, who was all over the news in the 1990s


* Yes, I have post traumatic stress disoder from being tortured, vivisected, raped, astarved, and beaten on a dail basis for 27 years while I was locked in that cage


* Yes, I think very highly of police officers and FBI agents due to them being the ones who rescued me from my imprisonment at the hands of UFO alie woshipping cultists of Heaven's Gate


* Yes, I will ban you if you say anything against police officers or FBI agents, including anything you think is "a joke".


* Yes, I do have 100% ZERO tolerance of anyone who disrespects authority


#Yes, if you do anything even remotely immoral or indecent or make jokes of anything criminal of say anything demeaning or disrespectful of the police ad/or FBI, I WILL ban you from every one of my social networks accounts, not just Twitch.... 


#I grew up with criminals, gangsters, and crime lords, and it was brave police officers and FBI agents risking their lives in a shootout with 70 of my machine gun toting uncles that is the reason me and 140 other female Gypsies now have our freedom. 


#And I will not tolerate you joking about crimes or disrespecting police officers and FBI agents.


**And THAT is why I like Avallac'h and won't have you disrespecting him either.**


Ciri went through hell at the hands on men - most notably Vilgefortz and Leo - who were just like my uncles. Avallac'h rescued her from that shit and gave her a better life... just like those police officers and FBI agents did for me and 140 of my cousins.


If there were more men like Avallac'h in the real world, the real world would also have fewer men like my uncles in it.



................................



#UPDATE: January 6, 2021: To all of you who are sending me video clips this morning and asking "Is this your family?"...


To answer your questions...


* Yes... my relatives ARE on every news station in every country of the world today, yes they did ORGANIZE the attack on the Capitol Building... and I am horrified by it.


* No, before you guys sent me the video footage clips, I was unaware the attack had happened, I do not own a TV and do not seek out news reports on the internet, so had you not sent me those clips I would never have known the attack had happened at all


* Yes, many members of my extended-family were involved in organizing the attack on Washington D.C.; one of my aunts claims to be the organizer, she is now wanted by the FBI for questioning


* Yes, I can see 1 uncle, 2 aunts, and 23 1st cousins in those pictures and news reports.


* Yes, the shooter is the high priest cousin you saw posting gun photos and death threats on my FaceBook, Twitter, and Twitch chat


* Yes, that is the 2 cousins who founded the group "The Loyalist White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan More Loyal Than The Loyal White Knights", in the gif/memes trashing reporter cameras and jumping on said cameras 


* YES, that IS the uncle who was paying the Discord tittie streamer $500 a month to stage the "deserve to be raped raids" on my Twitch channel 


* Yes, that uncle, 2 aunts, and 23 cousins ARE all members of Heaven's Gate and were party to the original UFO cult kool-aid murder suicide that killed 39 people in 1997


* No, I do not support anything they do or have done; it's been more than 30 years since I last saw, talked to, or interacted with any of them


#And please, stop forwarding video footage and news reports to me. I want nothing to do with those jackasses. We share DNA, not ideologies. They absolutely disgust me.


* If you were there, please be aware that 4 of them are now bragging on their social medias that they currently have Covid-19 and that they were spitting on police and government officials during the attack on the Capitol Building; yes it is confirmed they DO actually have Covid-19... 9 members of their immediate family have died in the past month and is what instigated them to join the mob at D.C.


* Yes, all of them are wanted by the FBI... if you have any information about ANY of their crimes INCLUDING today's attack on Washington D.C., do NOT send it to me, send it to the FBI agent in charge of the case: 


#FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the investigation. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322


Have you stopped playing Witcher or are you still playing it and just not streaming?

#Have you stopped playing Witcher or are you still playing it and just not streaming?



No and also yes.


I still play Witcher 3 almost daily.


I frequently do 12 hour streams, but context is needed for why: I'm bedridden with an inoperable broken spine, due to having been beaten with a metal golf club... so I'm in bed 24 hours a day, I've not been able to return to work or college since the attack. There are several issues besides the broken spine, including severe hand tremors caused by the nerve damage to my spinal column, which drastically limit things I can do with my hands as well. 


When people find out my spine is broken they think "oh, you just can't walk", they forget your spine houses your nerve bundle that controls every part of your body. It's not just that I can no longer walk... most of the left side of my body is "dead", so I'm blind in that eye, I can not talk on that side of my mouth anymore, I play games with one hand because my left hand is useless, I have to wear diapers, I can not bath myself or use the toilet... it's much, much, much more then "oh, you can't walk"... I can no longer have control over more them 70% of my body and body functions. And then there's the right side of my body, which I can still use, but, the tremors and seizures are so bad that, I can barely keep my fingers on the keyboard.  


Fortunately Twitch handed over to the FBI all the info of the streamers behind the attack and 2 partners and 4 affiliates have gone to prison for what they did to me. But that doesn't change the fact, I'm crippled for the rest of my life, because one tittie streamer thought live streaming a 5 man gang-bang rape attack on another streamer (me) would get her more views.


So, since becoming crippled, I am not able to do much but read books and play video games, and that is when you saw me doing 9 to 15 hour streams on a daily basis.


So, yes, I still play the game whether I stream it or not.


I still record all of it... as you can see from the screenshots that continue to be added almost daily here.


Did you not notice that Avallac'h still had GREY hair in my last stream in February 2020? Yet I've been uploading pictures of him BLOND almost daily since March 2020? You've never seen a stream of Avallac'h blond, and yet, my website has thousands of images of blond Avallac'h on it now. That alone should have told you I've not stopped playing Witcher 3 daily.


I even still stream it some days. Just not on Twitch.


I have more then 300 social network accounts, including several streaming sites.


Like I said in several panels already... I'm taking a vacation from ALL social networks, where the psycho sex crazy witch hunting tittie streamer has been sending her army of Discord simps to harass me.


Words are important. Pay attention to how I use them.


Let me repeat what I said, this time highlighting the important part:


I'm taking a vacation from ALL **social networks, where the psycho sex crazy witch hunting tittie streamer has been sending her army of Discord simps to harass me**.


I never said I was taking a vacation from Witcher 3 or that I was going to stop streaming Witcher 3 while I took a vacation from Twitch.


What I said was I taking a vacation from the toxic harassment, because we have a lot of offline issues going on and I can't deal with the important stuff AND the petty slut assed whore who stalks me on Twitch too.


She may have nothing to do with her life but run around shaking her ass online, flapping her breasts on a camera and harassing everyone, but I happen to be dealing with a muder case and a kidnapping case, because in case you forgot, my children were kidnapped and their heads nailed to my door. And I think the kidnapping and murder of my children is a little bit more important than some slut on Twitch who took up a vendetta against me because I like a fictional character that she doesn't like. 


#I don't play the game for any of YOU. I never have. 


* **I started playing the game a few months after the heads of my children were nailed to my door.** 


* **I started the game as theropy, as a cooping mechanism, to deal with my children having their heads nailed to my door.** 


#I'm not here to entertain you. I'm not your puppet on a string.


#My family was murdered, and I play this game as a way to deal with it.


I was streaming it because my family was all I had and now I have no one, and I desperately need someone to talk to.


The characters in this game are the only people I have to talk to. There is no one in my life. I have no friends. I'm crippled, bedridden, my spine is broken from being beaten with a metal golf club.


14 men, invaded my home, April 10, 2015. They took my children and they left me for dead, after beating all 13 of us with golf clubs, baseball bats, cinder block bricks, and they held us down, with a long metal pole that had a metal wire "collar" on it.


All 14 of the men had handguns. 2 of them held their guns to my head, while this was happening.


They arrived in 3 big white vans, the inside of the vans, lined with cages.


They arrived at 1PM... dragged us outside, and beat us up in the driveway.


More than 70 of my neighbours on my street, came out of their houses and gather in the road at the end of my driveway, and not one of them did a damned thing to help us.


They just stood and watched.


All of my **WHITE** neighbours... stood and watched, while the Ku Klux Klan, attacked my family.


May 15, 2015, the heads of my kidnapped children, started being returned.


I can't go back to work. I can't go back to college. Doctors can't operate on my spine, because of how the bone is shattered and puncturing my spinal column and nerves. 


I'm stuck in bed for the rest of my life and my family is dead.


And you people harassing me because of fictional characters, you're not helping ... you people are very cruel and you all need to grow up. I'm not bothering any of you. There is not reason for you to keep bothering me. 


I'm going to play the game every day, whether or not I stream it. Because I play it for me, not for you.


I am suffering from severe suicidal depression. And right now this game is the only thing getting me from one day to the next.


Whether or not I stream the game when I play it, is totally dependant on YOU and how you treat me. I stopped streaming because of how very, very, very mean you all were. I was streaming because I needed someone, anyone to spend time with me, and you people showed me that all any of you care about is sex. You can talk about anything but sex. You can't think about anything but sex. And I have post traumatic stress disorder from being brutally raped, so the last thing I want to hear about is your obsession with sex.


I needed a friend. That's why I was streaming.


And you all taught me one thing: friends don't exist. There is no such thing as friendship.


Let me ask you this... why do you want me to come back to stream again?  Did you ever once stand up to the bullies who were harassing my channel every time I streamed... 


... or were you like my **WHITE** neighbours, who gathered in a crowded of nearly 100 people and stood back and watched, while 14 Ku Klux Klan men murdered my family, in public, in broad daylight.


Notice I point out **WHITE** because I am physically whiter than the average white person. And yet, these people, claim that I am not white.


You see me in my streams... Do I look NOT white to you?


Do you know what else I learned?


That it's better to play the game alone, than to stream it, because alone I don't have deal with your posting death threats in my chat. Alone I don't have have to put up with you chanting "deserved to be raped" in my chat.


I needed a friend but all any of you could do was be a bully.


The April 10, 2015 attack, was not the first.


October 18, 2006 the Ku Klux Klan blew up my house with a grease fryer bomb.


August 8, 2013, a backhoe drove over my house, while I was at work.


November 14, 2013 I was attacked and paralyzed the first time, at my college. I was pregnant. They killed my baby. I was bedridden for 5 months and it took 18 months to relearn to walk.


July 26, 2016, I was beaten at WalMart and paralyzed again.


November 10, 2016 they snuck into my brother's workplace and poisoned his lunch. He almost died.


February 2017, they drove a road grader up my mother's driveway and flattened her car,


And those are just the "big" attacks.


We daily have to put up with rocks thrown through windows, cars egged, we get painballed when we try to go down our driveway to get our mail, tires slashed, our trash cans dumped out on our lawn... the little things have gone on daily since June 2001.


Yeah... over 20 years now.


The Ku Klux Klan has violently attacked me and my family over and over and over again... and you jackasses though THAT would be a funny thing to replicate? What the fuck is wrong with you?


The February 2019 attack was a copycat attack, and NOT the Ku Klux Klan, but rather a group from Twitch and Discord who thought copycatting a violent crime would be funny.


What incentive do I have to stream again? 


You were all very cruel to me. There's no incentive in that.


And what did this witch hunting tittie streamer and her Discord simps do?


#KNOWING THAT 14 MEN INVADED MY HOME, NEARLY KILLED ME, AND DID KILL MY CHILDREN... SHE MADE MEMES ABOUT THIS ATTACK, AND POSTED MY HOME ADDRESS ON THOSE MEMES AND TOLD PEOPLE TO COME TO MY HOUSE AND DO IT AGAIN...


#AND 5 OF THE MEN FROM HER DISCORD GROUP DID ARRIVE AT MY HOUSE TO REPEAT THIS ATTACK.


And THAT was in addition to having gathered up 300,000 people from Twitter to harass me on every social network she could find me on.


My first 4 or 5 years on Twitch I banned no one, then in 2018 I got hit by a witch hunting channel that raided me with 700 raiders with the raid message "deserve to be raped"... I had no chat bots and no mods and was completely overwhelmed by it; I thought it was just a one time event, figured it was trolls being trolls and assumed I'd never see them again;


they started returning daily, and so I had to start banning but there was so many of them, so I modded 78 of my regulars and added 7 bots to my chat... for the next 4 months we banned on average 200 people a day, and each of them had a dozen+ accounts so minutes after banning someone they'd be back with "haha, thought I was gone didn't you"; they were doxxing my viewers, posting death threats, in February 2019 the partner behind it did a stream of himself arriving at my house with guns (and was arrested while he was there - which caused his followers to go total meltdown harassment mode on me and my followers);


back than the follower list was public and they went down the list of my followers and harassed every one of them on their channels ... setting chat to followers only, only resulted in them mass following; it was a total nightmare, that continued from August 2018 to February 2020


Because of this attack on my channel, Twitch has added two new sections to the Breaking the Law and Violence and Threats sections of the community guidelines:


* *"This includes committing or aiding in the malicious destruction, defacement, or theft of public or another person’s private property without permission on stream."*


and


* *"In situations where a user has lost control of their broadcast due to severe injury, medical emergency, police action, or being targeted with serious violence, we will temporarily remove the channel and associated content."*


This is because of the FBI's murder investigation of the 2 years of live streamed offline attacks on my family via a partnered Twitch streamer who just went to prison last month.


If you are unaware of why the specific wording, it is because of this...


A Twitch streamer made 200+ VODs and posted 2,000+ Discord posts calling me a dominatrix, saying I was into bondage, BDSM, and foot fetishes, including to post my home address in her Discord, telling her perverted, immoral, deviated followers to go my house to have sex with me, and some of her followers, did just that, expecting to find me willing to throw myself on them, expecting they could do anything they wanted to me.


Do you know why my family moved February 2019?


At the time I was staying with my 82 year old disabled dad on his 3rd floor apartment, in a building that had 28 families in it.


To get in the building you have to go through a front entry hall, go through 2 separate sets of doors, and then find your way through the halls and stairways to find which apartment you are looking for.


Because a group of 5 men showed up at 2AM one night. They broke BOTH the 2 front doors off and threw them out into the street.


They made their way up the stairs, punched the glass and screens out of every window they passed on their way.


With baseball bats they smashed up all of the posts on the stair railings, broke the railings off the stairs and threw them out a window onto one of the resident's cars below.


They ripped the front door off the apartment next door to mine, went into that apartment and gang raped the 2 young mothers (sisters) who lived there with their 2 and 4 year old babies.


After that they went back outside, smashing the walls on their way down, pulling out electrical wiring and plumbing pipes as they went.


Once outside they proceeded to trash the 3 cars parked in the driveway, one of them being my Dazzling Razzberry. They used their bats to smash out the glass, and smash up the metal.


They did more then $230,000 in damages to our landlord's building, put 2 women in the hospital, put my 82 year old dad in the hospital with a ruptured kidney, left 1 little 10 year old boy dead, left 28 families homeless, and totaled 3 cars, including my car The Dazzling Razzberry which they did $30,000 in damages to. EVERYBODY in the building had to move because the damages were so bad that the city condemned the building.


in the end, 2 partners and 4 affiliates went to prison, and more than 200 streamers/viewers were permabanned by Twitch


Today, my channel is ban heavy on extreemes ... you step out of line even an inch and you are gone, no warning, no time out, no grace period, no second chances... total zero tolerance for anything now


3 years ago I struggled to ban anyone, felt guilty about doing so; now I ban a dozen or more people every stream without batting an eye.


Explain to me... why do you people think it is fun, to not only make jokes and memes about a horrible crime, but to go so far as to hire people to invade my home a 2nd time to recreate that crime?


What is wrong with you people?


And than, knowing what happened, you have the audacity to ask, WHY I stopped streaming?


Why do you think?


I stream when I am sad, to try to cheer myself up... and you people went out of your way to try to hurt me, for no reason at all, other than I was already hurt and you thought it was funny to hurt people, and now I am just too sad to stream at all.


#If you have any information about any of this, please call The Old Orchard Beach Police Department at 1 (207) 934 - 4911


**FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the investigation. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322**



FAQs: How did you get into streaming video games?







*IMAGE: EelKat wearing The original/first  Avallac'h CosPlay while signing books for fans of the Quaraun novels and fans of Stephen King's Thinner and Christine books, at PortCon Geek Convention 2018.*


#FAQs: How did you get into streaming video games?


I've been making gaming videos 14 years (started on MySpace in 2004, moved to YouTube 2008, moved to Twitch 2016) and back then it was just because I had bought a new camera that could record video footage (unheard of at the time - if you wanted to make videos you had to have one of those 45lb video recorders that you braced on your shoulder and had an assistant to help you lift it up).


I had no rhyme nor reason to what I uploaded. Flowers in my garden, cat sleeping on the porch, waves on the ocean, the videos were absolutely nothing at all, but it was so much fun just recording everything I saw... one day I thought "I wonder if I can set it on the table and record the TV screen while I play Sonic the Hedgehog 2?", before I knew it I had horrible grainy pixelated video game footage to upload too. Not anything like what people think of as gaming videos today.


The whole thing was just "OMG! Look what I found to record today!" hyper-puppy excitement over being one of the first people on MySpace to have a point and shoot that also recorded videos. It was just the greatest thing. I had so much fun. All the videos were only like 2 or 3 minutes long, and looking back at them today, OMG was the quality shit by today's standards, but it was high quality video back then, LOL!


I guess I just got hit by the video camera bug, because after that every time a better quality camera came out, I'd buy it. I ended up getting into professional photography, doing nature/landscape/wildlife photos for magazines, so started getting into better quality cameras.


Moved to YouTube in 2008 to make slide show videos to show case my photography, and soon found PewDiePie and Markiplier and wanted to make the types of gaming videos they made, so started doing that on the side, uploading 1 game video a week, while doing my other videos daily.


I started doing daily dog walking vlogs, and my viewers started asking for me to do more gaming videos, so I switched to 3 game videos a week.


YouTube added the concept of getting paid to make videos in 2010, but only people with 1million+ subscribers were allowed to make money; in 2015 everyone was allowed to make money on YouTube and suddenly the YouTuber gaming culture exploded with tons of people joining to make money.


In 2013, while putting my bags in the back seat of my car, I was attacked by 3 strangers with metal baseball bats and, they broke my spine, my hips, my knees; I was paralyzed for 5 months, spent 18 months relearning to walk; finally got out of the wheelchair, but was unable to return to either of my jobs or go back to finish college, because nerve damage in my spine was so bad I have little ability to use my left hand, both my hands and both my legs shake horrifically from nerve tremors, my right leg drags like it is dead, and lack of nerve control to my bladder and bowels means I have to wear adult diapers now. I require a walker to get around, or a combination of a caretaker on one side and a cane on the other.


I can't hold a camera steady any more so my photography career was also gone.


And I can't hold a controller anymore, so, no more Attari, GameCube, Wii, XBox, XBox360, PS2, or PS3 - or the 2,000+ game discs and cartridges I have for them. Walls of games, I can no longer play.


No more daily dog walking vlogs either.


No more new Quaraun novels being written or published as I can no longer type.


Editing videos became very difficult as well.


Doctors say the damage to my spine is inoperable. Pressure from the crushed bones, is holding my nerves together. Trying to repair the damage will sever the nerve completely causing me to be paralyzed from the neck down, so until there are some advances in spine surgery, I have no hope of ever recovering fully. I've been bedridden for 6 years.


This was the turning point in my online video gaming. Why I switched to PC games and why I switched to streaming.


Streaming I can do, in bed, and it requires only pushing one button to "go live" and I have a none-standard mini-keyboard that allows me to reach all the key with one hand with little difficulty, so I can play most PC games with it.


Thus I went from making 3 gaming videos 1 hr long each per week to streaming video games 4 to 12 hours almost daily.


I don't know what I would have done, had I not had video gaming to fall back on, because, I used to be so active: I had horses and I can't raise horses or go horseback riding any more; I used to go mountain climbing and hiking in forests, I was always in the ocean. I grew roses and had a huge flower garden. I can do none of that now.


I have a very non-standard way of playing Witcher 3. I'm on my 11th playthrough, but it's been 3 years since I last did a quest. I play it open world - no fast travel, no run, no sprint, no boats, no swords. No stone unturned. Ride the horse everywhere or walk. Climb mountains. Pick flowers - thousands of them. Swim endlessly across Skellige. Aimlessly explore every last inch of the map, with no action. Loot every last house. Reached level 550 and made $14,000,000 selling loot and flowers. No fighting. No questing. It drives a lot of viewers out of their minds crazy, and I get a LOT of complaints about it.


A lot of people hate my lazy open world, questless, actionless, adventureless, horseback riding, flower picking, mountain climbing, swimming trek across the Witcher 3 maps. But, if they took the time to find out WHY I play it that way... horseback riding, flower picking, mountain climbing, swimming are things I can not do in real life any more. I'm crippled and trapped in bed 24/7 for the past 6 years. Skellige looks just like Maine. Horseback riding, flower picking, mountain climbing, swimming in Witcher 3's Skellige, is the closest thing I can get to horseback riding, flower picking, mountain climbing, swimming in Maine, like I used to do in real life.


Like I said, I don't know what I would have done without the ability to stream Witcher 3 like I do, because, when you are bedridden, crippled, you say good-bye to family and friends. My live in boyfriend of 37 years, left because, my injury was "too much to deal with". My 200+ friends from college and work.... it's been 6 years since I last heard from any of them... not one visited me in the hospital, not one card from anyone, most when they found out what happen unfriended me on FaceBook and Twitter, like being crippled meant I had the plague.


I didn't just lose my health, my jobs, my career, I also lost my family and every last friend. The loneliness is unbearable, the depression and suicidal thoughts are crushing... streaming Witcher 3 on Twitch, really is the only thing that has kept me going through all of this.


It started as a hobby and became my therapy.


#UPDATE: January 6, 2021:
To all of you who are sending me video clips this morning and asking "Is this your family?"...


To answer your questions...


* Yes... my relatives ARE on every news station in every country of the world today, yes they did ORGANIZE the attack on the Capitol Building... and I am horrified by it.


* No, before you guys sent me the video footage clips, I was unaware the attack had happened, I do not own a TV and do not seek out news reports on the internet, so had you not sent me those clips I would never have known the attack had happened at all


* Yes, many members of my extended-family were involved in organizing the attack on Washington D.C.; one of my aunts claims to be the organizer, she is now wanted by the FBI for questioning


* Yes, I can see 1 uncle, 2 aunts, and 23 1st cousins in those pictures and news reports.


* Yes, the shooter is the high priest cousin you saw posting gun photos and death threats on my FaceBook, Twitter, and Twitch chat


* Yes, that is the 2 cousins who founded the group "The Loyalist White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan More Loyal Than The Loyal White Knights", in the gif/memes trashing reporter cameras and jumping on said cameras 


* YES, that IS the uncle who was paying the Discord tittie streamer $500 a month to stage the "deserve to be raped raids" on my Twitch channel 


* Yes, that uncle, 2 aunts, and 23 cousins ARE all members of Heaven's Gate and were party to the original UFO cult kool-aid murder suicide that killed 39 people in 1997


* No, I do not support anything they do or have done; it's been more than 30 years since I last saw, talked to, or interacted with any of them


#And please, stop forwarding video footage and news reports to me. I want nothing to do with those jackasses. We share DNA, not ideologies. They absolutely disgust me.


* If you were there, please be aware that 4 of them are now bragging on their social medias that they currently have Covid-19 and that they were spitting on police and government officials during the attack on the Capitol Building; yes it is confirmed they DO actually have Covid-19... 9 members of their immediate family have died in the past month and is what instigated them to join the mob at D.C.


* Yes, all of them are wanted by the FBI... if you have any information about ANY of their crimes INCLUDING today's attack on Washington D.C., do NOT send it to me, send it to the FBI agent in charge of the case: 


#FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the investigation. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322


This whole thing is very distressing for me. I do not like the kind of attention that gets put on ME because I happen to be related to THEM.

Far too many people harass my family, online and offline, because of these dipshits in our rather distant family tree.

I prefer to stay out of the public eye and deeply dislike being pulled into the paparazzi spotlight every time this group of lunatics pulls one of these ridiculous terrorist attack stunts.


It was very distressing for me to wake up this morning to find email, and every contact method on every social media, packs full of thousands of questions, links, and forwards, all asking me if that was my family that was being plastered across every news station on the planet.


It was bad enough to learn a terrorist attack had happened and it was even worse to learn it was yet again my uncles behind it.


Though I can not say I'm surprised to learn these jackass dipshits I have to share DNA with were involved. This certainly isn't the first terrorist attack they took part in.


Considering this 1 uncle, 2 aunts, & 23 cousins, all who took part in Heaven's Gate murder of 39 people in 1997, 1 of whom built the bomb for 2013's Boston Marathon, and 2 of whom founded the Loyalist White Knights... were involved in this attack too... I hope they get life in prison, they fucking deserve it.

.......

#UPDATE: January 9, 2020....


Good news, one of them was just arrested in Florida. He's the guy all over Twitter today, waving to security cameras while stealing Nancy Pelosi's lecture pedestal. My relatives are insane. I hope he never gets out.


At least he can't post death threats and rape threats in my Twitch chat anymore. I hope they arrest them all.


Why do I have to share DNA with these psychotic lunatics?


You can support your political party without being a violent, crazed, psychopathic terroist, you know.


#And random thought...


You know... all the people saying Trump supporters should stop inciting violence and go read their Bible, clearly have never read the Bible and have no clue how much violence and genocide God commands in the Old Testament... shouldn't it be the Trumpies need LESS Bible influence? Isn't it the Bible that inspired them to be violent in the first place?


And you want to know something else...


26 of those people now arrested for attacking the Capitol, had ALREADY been reported, in October 2019, for planning an attack on the government...

I know beause I filed that report on 3 uncles, 2 auns, and 23 cousins when they started building bombs and bought 4,000 asult rifles, while claiming they were building an army.

This attack was a long time in the planning and couldhave been prevented and the FBI knew about it 2 years ago.


But hey... guess what... the FBI knew about the Heaven's Gate murder 8 MONTHS before those same 26 people murdered 39 people under the shadow of Hale-Bop... AND the FBI knew in 2012, 5 months ahead of time that these same 26 people were building bombs for the Boston Marathon.


Same 26 people over and over again. This time some of them actually got caught... but the Heaven's Gate crew, has 4,000 members in Maine, Florida, Mississippi, Wyomin, Colorado, and Nova Scotia.


They are gaining members all the time. They claim they are building God's army, they claim Trump is "the God-King" God's form on earth, they also believe he is a shapeshifting reptilian alien, and they claim to be waiting for a mothership that will fly in the shadow of Comet Wormwood.


They claim "when the Trump of jubilie sounds" they will be ready to kill all who oppose them, because they believe they are God's Army and they do not fear death, for they also believe that through death, they "will be changed in the twinkling of an eye" and transformed into mighty arch angels to enact vengange of all who oppose them.


They embrace death, to the point, like they did in 1997, they will kill themselves if they have to, and take everyone around them with them.


Heaven's Gate should be feared and they should be in prison, not building gallows on the front law of the Capitaol building while trying to hang the Vice President.


How many decades will Heaven's Gate's members be allowed to kill and main unbridled? They are terrorists and NEED to be arrested and put in prison, BEFORE they do what they are planning and unleash a bomb that will kill every one "East of the Mississippi" as they put it.


My uncle David is dangerous, and now with his brother Bruce, leader of Heaven's Gate since 1997, dead from Covid19, David's crew has become far more dangerous than they ever were.


This attack they staged on the Capitol, it's not the end, it was just them firing a warning shot of something far bigger yet to come.


They need to be stopped BEFORE they kill more people.


How many times will this same group be allowed to kill over and over again, before someone stops them?


.......


1 uncle, 2 aunts, & 23 cousins were there; they are the leaders of Heaven's Gate AND the Loyalist White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan; they have 4,000 members armed with assault rifles, ready to march on command, and that's JUST the group in Palmyra, Maine - they NEED to be stopped... this post they made on Twitter is NOT a joke... they WILL march Jan 19... they MUST be stopped... Jan 6 was just a warning shot


https://twitter.com/profmath56/status/1347582047485906945?s=20




UPDATE: January 14, 2021
I received a deeply troubling question today... let's answer it...

I received a deeply troubling question today... let's answer it...


................


*if someone asks me to do something in exchange for a donation...? I stream, and today someone I've never seen before sent me a message on discord asking me if I want [insert ridiculous amount of money here]. I of course replied asking what for, and the guy replies saying 'complete 25 challenges, for example #1 would be pulling a funny face. If you complete all 25 challenges then I donate the money.' Oh, and he also sent me screenshots of what I assume is supposed to be proof that he's dono'd tons of money to others before. This seems sus AF to me. Should I just assume it's fake / he'll ask me to do something weird? What do?*


................


You've heard of the recent attacks on the American Capitol, right?

Have you NOT also heard about the 26 Twitch streamers who have found their name's on the FBI's no fly list even though they live in Europe and have never been to America?

Have you looked at today's day January 14 vs the date of the next 2 planned attacks, January 17 and January 20?

I doubt you'd ask this question if you HAD heard of what happened, so let me me summarize:

A group of terrorists spent several months planning an attack on Washington D.C. They took to intermingling with election rallies, so no one would suspect them. 

Meanwhile, online, they sought out a way to make 26 fake IDs for their group to use on attack day (January 6).

They ended up contacting 26 Twitch streamers the genders and approximate ages of the 26 people they had in their group going to D.C. 

Each streamer was sent an offer for being donated $500 in exchange for doing things. The streamers thought it seemed innocent enough and was easy money, so did it.

The reason for the $500 amount, was PayPal requires additional verification on large amounts, meaning, they were given the REAL NAMES AND HOME ADDRESSES of those 26 streamers. They next took those names and made 26 fake IDs using the names and addresses of those 26 streamers.

They used those fake IDs January 6 at D.C. and now as of Jan 7, those 26 streamers found their names on the FBI's no-fly list.

Those 26 terrorists, tossed the fake IDs and used their real IDs to leave D.C. and made their way back to Florida, Mississippi, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Maine, successfully returning home, while hundreds of other rally attendants found themselves unable to get on planes.

Given what those 26 did just before Jan 6, I would question anyone asking something similar to any streamer, right now, this close to Jan 17.

I highly recommend you report them to the FBI as possibly connected to the Jan 17 attack. **[https://tips.fbi.gov/](https://tips.fbi.gov/)**

The 26 people in question by the way... my uncle David, his wife Luci, his sister Barbie Jean, and 23 of their children, grandchildren, and great grand children... only one of whom so far has been arrested... the one who stole Nancy Pelosi's pulpit. On their way home to Palmyra, the rest showed up in my driveway January 11, to chant "All hail God King Trump" while bragging how they didn't get caught and outwitted the FBI and are going back to D.C. on Jan 17 and Jan 20.

Chances are VERY HIGH that the man contacting you was David's son Shem, who is the one who contacted the others prior to the Jan 6 attack, or so he bragged on Jan 11, while shooting off his rifils in my driveway, from a red 1980s vintage Jeep Cherokee.

Beware of the Atwaters, the Halls, the Cyrs, and the Johnsons... they ain't sending you money unless they are planning on using you to take the fall for some crime they plan to commit and blame on you. You'll go to jail and they'll walk free, like they always do, like they've been doing since the 1950s.

... ..............................
..UPDATE: January 14, 2021...
..............................
...MODS TAKE NOTICE!...
.................................
...NEW BAN RULES ADDED TO THE CHANNEL... ..............................
...From today forward ALL USERNAMES ending in "Chan" are to be banned on sight...
..............................
...I do not want any member of the 4Chan, 7Chan, Anon, QAnon or any similar terrorist organizations near my channel...
.............................. 
...BAN THEM ALL!...

#As of this discovery a new policy is now in place on my channel.. all mods are to **IMMEDIATELY BAN** anyone and everyone they see with the word "Chan" at the end of their name, wither that user has ever visited my channel or not.

I want my mods to take ANY user they see on ANY channel ANYWHERE on Twitch to just ban those usernames from my channel as soon as they see them.

#From today forwards ALL USERNAMES ending in "Chan" are to be banned on sight.

#I do not want any member of this terrorist organization near my channel.

#The Chans are horrible people and I want nothing to do with any of them.

#Anyone found to be a supporter of ANY Chan is to be banned from my channel, even if they do not have "Chan" at the end of their username.

The "Chan" movement... OMG! They are fucking psychotic extremists. I had no clue what "Chan" meant or why people put it at the end of their username. Knowing what I know now and looking at the fact that the ringleader behind the 3 year long attack on my Twitch channel has the word "Chan" at the end of her username, the wild sex rumors she spreads about me FINALLY make sense.

Today one of my mods sent me the following message:

*"I noticed the girl trying to cancel you has "Chan" at the end of her username, as do many of her followers. I also noticed your confusion over her attacks and I wonder, do you know what "chan" means or why streamers put it at the end of their username? Everyone who has "Chan" at the end of their username is a witch hunting channel, it is how they identify themselves. It means they are extremist radical trolls from 4chan. There is even a wiki devoted to the "Chan Movement". Here, you'll want to read this. **[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan)** and this **[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Chanology](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Chanology)**Twitter has started to ban anyone using "chan" at the end of their username because is identifies the user as connected with white supremacy hate groups. She's a QAnon terrorist and proud of it, that's why she has "chan" at the end of her name. That's why she is working with your uncles. She helped them plan the attack on the Capitol. She's a QAnon member. That's why she has the word "chan" at the end of her username. Every QAnon member does that. I didn't realize you had never heard of QAnon or 4Chan until I saw your Tweet last night. I'm s sorry. I thought you knew that is what she was. I would have messaged you sooner about this if I had known you didn't know what QAnon was. Also "Thingy" is a slang word, it means "a child's vagina" people put that in their username to signify they are supporters of child rape. These are really bad people attacking your channel. They are the same people who just attacked America's Capital. When they are chanting "ThingyChan" in your chat, it's a QAnon secret code word, it's another word for rape, it's a rape threat, it's them bypassing the NightBot ban of the word rape. It means they are threatening to gather up 4Chan members to rape you. 4Chan QAnon's use secret code words to bypass chat bans because they know most people don't know what the code words mean. It's like a Morse Code that only they know."*


Here is what the Wiki has to say:

>>>>*"4chan is an anonymous English-language imageboard website. Launched by Christopher "moot" Poole in October 2003, the site hosts boards dedicated to a wide variety of topics, from anime and manga to video games, music, literature, fitness, politics, and sports, among others. Registration is not available and users typically post anonymously; posting is ephemeral, as threads receiving recent replies are "bumped" to the top of their respective board and old threads are deleted as new ones are created. As of November 2020, 4chan receives more than 20 million unique monthly visitors, with more than 900,000 posts made daily."*

.

.

>>>>*"The site has been described as a hub of Internet subculture, with its community being influential in the formation of prominent Internet memes, such as lolcats, Rickrolling, and rage comics, as well as hacktivist and political movements, such as Anonymous and the alt-right. 4chan has often been the subject of media attention as a source of controversies, including the coordination of pranks and harassment against websites and Internet users, and the posting of illegal and offensive content. The Guardian once summarized the 4chan community as "lunatic, juvenile ... brilliant, ridiculous and alarming""*

.

.

>>>>*"Before the end of 2003, several new anime-related boards were added, including /h/ (Hentai), /c/ (Anime/Cute), /d/ (Hentai/Alternative), /w/ (Wallpapers/Anime), /y/ (Yaoi), and /a/ (Anime). Additionally, a lolicon board was created at /l/ (Lolikon),[26] but was disabled following the posting of genuine child pornography and ultimately deleted in October 2004, after threats of legal action."*

.

.

>>>>*"On November 17, 2018, it was announced that the site would be split into two, with the work-safe boards moved to a new domain, 4channel.org, while the NSFW boards would remain on the 4chan.org domain. In a series of posts on the topic, Nishimura explained that the split was due to 4chan being blacklisted by most advertising companies, and that the new 4channel domain would allow for the site to receive advertisements by mainstream ad providers."*

.

.

>>>>*"/pol/ ("Politically Incorrect") is 4chan's political discussion board. A stickied thread on its front page states that the board's intended purpose is "discussion of news, world events, political issues, and other related topics." /pol/ was created in October 2011 as a rebranding of 4chan's news board, /new/, which was deleted that January for a high volume of racist discussion."*

.

.

>>>>*"Although there had previously been a strong left-libertarian contingent to 4chan activists, there was a gradual rightward turn on 4chan's politics board in the early-mid 2010s. The board quickly attracted posters with a political persuasion that later would be described with a new term, the alt-right. Media sources have characterized /pol/ as predominantly racist and sexist, with many of its posts taking an explicitly neo-Nazi bent. The Southern Poverty Law Center regards /pol/'s rhetorical style as widely emulated by white supremacist websites such as The Daily Stormer; the Stormer's editor, Andrew Anglin, concurred. /pol/ was where screenshots of Trayvon Martin's hacked social media accounts were initially posted. The board's users have started antifeminist, homophobic, transphobic, and anti-Arab Twitter campaigns."*

.

.

>>>>*"The users of /r9k/ built upon by then popular 4chan memes "epic win" and "fail" to group the human population into "alphas" or stereotypical well-adjusted popular people and "betas" or stereotypical geek-ish social rejects, self-identifying with the latter. It became a popular gathering place for the controversial online incel community. The "beta uprising" or "beta rebellion" meme, the idea of taking revenge against women, jocks and others perceived as the cause of incels' problems, was popularized on the sub-section. It gained more traction on the forum following the Umpqua Community College shooting, where it is believed that the shooter, Chris Harper-Mercer, also warned people not to go to school in the Northwest hours prior to the shooting as users encouraged him. The perpetrator of the Toronto van attack referenced 4chan and an incel rebellion in a Facebook post he made prior to the attack while praising self-identified incel Elliot Rodger, the killer behind the 2014 Isla Vista killings. He claims to have talked with both Harper-Mercer and Rodger on Reddit and 4chan and believes that he was part of a "beta uprising", also posting a message on 4chan about his intention the day before his attack."*

.

.

>>>>*"Anonymous originated in 2003 on the imageboard 4chan representing the concept of many online and offline community users simultaneously existing as an anarchic, digitized global brain. Anonymous members (known as Anons or QAnons) can be distinguished in public by the wearing of Guy Fawkes masks in the style portrayed in the graphic novel and film V for Vendetta. However, this may not always be the case as some of the collective prefer to instead cover their face without using the well-known mask as a disguise. Some anons also opt to mask their voices through voice changers or text-to-speech programs."*

.

.

>>>>*"On January 19, 2012, the U.S. Department of Justice shut down the file-sharing site Megaupload on allegations of copyright infringement. Anons responded with a wave of DDoS attacks on U.S. government and copyright organizations, shutting down the sites for the RIAA, MPAA, Broadcast Music, Inc., and the FBI."*

.

.

>>>>*"In the wake of the fatal police shooting of unarmed African-American Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri, "Operation Ferguson"—a hacktivist organization that claimed to be associated with Anonymous—organized cyberprotests against police, setting up a website and a Twitter account to do so. The group promised that if any protesters were harassed or harmed, they would attack the city's servers and computers, taking them offline. City officials said that e-mail systems were targeted and phones died, while the Internet crashed at the City Hall."*

.

.

>>>>*"In March 2016, Anonymous was reported to have declared war on Donald Trump. However, the "Anonymous Official" YouTube channel released a video denouncing #OpTrump as an operation that "goes against everything Anonymous stands for" in reference to censorship and added "we are for everyone letting their voices be heard, even, if the person at hand ... is a monster.""*

.

.

>>>>*"In late 2017, QAnon, a pro-Trump group claiming to be the "real" Anonymous, first emerged on 4chan. In response, anti-Trump members of Anonymous warned that QAnon was stealing the collective's branding."*

.

.

>>>>*"Since 2009, dozens of people have been arrested for involvement in Anonymous cyberattacks, in countries including the U.S., UK, Australia, the Netherlands, Spain, and Turkey. Anons generally protest these prosecutions and describe these individuals as martyrs to the movement. The July 2011 arrest of LulzSec member Topiary became a particular rallying point, leading to a widespread "Free Topiary" movement."*

.

.

>>>>*"QAnon is a disproven and discredited far-right conspiracy theory alleging that a cabal of Satan-worshipping cannibalistic pedophiles is running a global child sex-trafficking ring and plotting against U.S. president Donald Trump, who is fighting the cabal. QAnon also commonly asserts that Trump is planning a day of reckoning known as the "Storm", when thousands of members of the cabal will be arrested. The conspiracy claim is entirely fictitious. QAnon supporters have accused many liberal Hollywood actors, Democratic politicians, and high-ranking government officials of being members of the cabal. They have also claimed that Trump feigned conspiracy with Russians to enlist Robert Mueller to join him in exposing the sex trafficking ring and preventing a coup d'état by Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and George Soros. The QAnon conspiracy theories have been amplified by Russian state-backed troll accounts on social media, as well as Russian state-backed traditional media."*

.

.

>>>>*"Although preceded by similar viral conspiracy theories such as Pizzagate,[23][24] which has since become part of QAnon, the conspiracy theory began with an October 2017 post on the anonymous imageboard 4chan by "Q", who was presumably an American individual;[25] it is now more likely that "Q" has become a group of people acting under the same name. A stylometric analysis of Q posts claims to have uncovered that at least two people wrote as "Q" in different periods. Q claimed to be a high-level government official with Q clearance, who has access to classified information involving the Trump administration and its opponents in the United States. NBC News reported that three people took the original Q post and spread it across multiple media platforms to build an Internet following for profit. QAnon was preceded by several similar anonymous 4chan posters, such as FBIAnon, HLIAnon (High-Level Insider), CIAAnon, and WH Insider Anon. Although American in origin, there is now a considerable QAnon movement outside of the United States, particularly in Europe."*

.

.

>>>>*"QAnon adherents began appearing at Trump reelection campaign rallies in August 2018. Bill Mitchell, a broadcaster who has promoted QAnon, attended a White House "social media summit" in July 2019. QAnon believers commonly tag their social media posts with the hashtag #WWG1WGA, signifying the motto "Where We Go One, We Go All". At an August 2019 rally, a man warming up the crowd used the QAnon motto, later denying that it was a QAnon reference. This occurred hours after the FBI published a report calling QAnon a potential source of domestic terrorism—the first time the agency had so rated a fringe conspiracy theory. According to analysis by Media Matters for America, as of October 2020, Trump had amplified QAnon messaging at least 265 times by retweeting or mentioning 152 Twitter accounts affiliated with QAnon, sometimes multiple times a day. QAnon followers came to refer to Trump as "Q+""*

.

.

>>>>*"The number of QAnon adherents is unclear as of October 2020, but the group maintains a large online following. In June 2020, Q exhorted followers to take a "digital soldiers oath", and many did, using the Twitter hashtag #TakeTheOath.[42] In July 2020, Twitter banned thousands of QAnon-affiliated accounts and changed its algorithms to reduce the conspiracy theory's spread.[43] A Facebook internal analysis reported in August found millions of followers across thousands of groups and pages; Facebook acted later that month to remove and restrict QAnon activity,[44][45] and in October it said it would ban the conspiracy theory from its platform altogether. Followers had also migrated to dedicated message boards such as EndChan and 8chan (now rebranded as "8kun"), where they organized to wage information warfare in an attempt to influence the 2020 United States presidential election.[47] Following Trump's loss to Joe Biden in the election, QAnon beliefs became a part of attempts to overturn the results and Trump's loss, culminating in the storming of the United States Capitol, leading to a further crackdown on QAnon-affiliated content on social media."*

.

.


>>>>*"Anonymous is a decentralized international activist/hacktivist collective/movement that is widely known for its various cyber attacks against several governments, government institutions and government agencies, corporations, and the Church of Scientology."*

.

.

>>>>*"Project Chanology (also called Operation Chanology) was a protest movement against the practices of the Church of Scientology by members of Anonymous, a leaderless Internet-based group. The project was started in response to the Church of Scientology's attempts to remove material from a highly publicized interview with Scientologist Tom Cruise from the Internet in January 2008."*

.

.

>>>>*"The project was publicly launched in the form of a video posted to YouTube, "Message to Scientology", on January 21, 2008. The video states that Anonymous views Scientology's actions as Internet censorship, and asserts the group's intent to "expel the church from the Internet". This was followed by distributed denial-of-service attacks (DDoS), and soon after, black faxes, prank calls, and other measures intended to disrupt the Church of Scientology's operations. In February 2008, the focus of the protest shifted to legal methods, including nonviolent protests and an attempt to get the Internal Revenue Service to investigate the Church of Scientology's tax-exempt status in the United States."*

.

.

>>>>*"Reactions from the Church of Scientology regarding the protesters' actions have varied. Initially, one spokesperson stated that members of the group "have got some wrong information" about Scientology. Another referred to the group as a group of "computer geeks". Later, the Church of Scientology started referring to Anonymous as "cyberterrorists" perpetrating "religious hate crimes" against the church."*

.

.

>>>>*"Members of Project Chanology say their main goal is "to enlighten the Church of Scientology (CoS) by any means necessary.""*

.

.

>>>>*"Project Chanology began its campaign by organizing and delivering a series of denial-of-service attacks against Scientology websites and flooding Scientology centers with prank calls and black faxes. The group was successful in taking down local and global Scientology websites intermittently from January 18, 2008 until at least January 25, 2008."*

.

.

>>>>*"Protesters in Boston, Los Angeles, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Edinburgh, London, and other cities worldwide, wore Guy Fawkes masks modeled after the 2005 film V for Vendetta. Guy Fawkes was an English Catholic executed for a 1605 attempt to destroy the House of Lords. In V for Vendetta, a rebel against a near-future fascist regime uses the mask in his public appearances and distributes many of its copies to the population to enable mass protests."*

.

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>>>>*"According to The Washington Post, "the site's users have managed to pull off some of the highest-profile collective actions in the history of the Internet."*

.

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>>>>*"Users of 4chan and other websites "raided" Hal Turner by launching DDoS attacks and prank calling his phone-in radio show during December 2006 and January 2007. The attacks caused Turner's website to go offline. This cost thousands of dollars of bandwidth bills according to Turner. In response, Turner sued 4chan, 7chan, and other websites; however, he lost his plea for an injunction and failed to receive letters from the court."*

.

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>>>>*"KTTV Fox 11 aired a report on Anonymous, calling them a group of "hackers on steroids", "domestic terrorists", and collectively an "Internet hate machine" on July 26, 2007.[137] Slashdot founder Rob Malda posted a comment made by another Slashdot user, Miang, stating that the story focused mainly on users of "4chan, 7chan and 420chan". Miang claimed that the report "seems to confuse /b/ raids and motivational poster templates with a genuine threat to the American public", arguing that the "unrelated" footage of a van exploding shown in the report was to "equate anonymous posting with domestic terror"."*

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>>>>*"In May 2009, members of the site attacked YouTube, posting pornographic videos on the site. A 4chan member acknowledged being part of the attack, telling BBC News that it was in response to YouTube "deleting music"."*

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>>>>*"On October 18, 2006, the Department of Homeland Security warned National Football League officials in Miami, New York City, Atlanta, Seattle, Houston, Oakland, and Cleveland about a possible threat involving the simultaneous use of dirty bombs at stadiums. The threat claimed that the attack would be carried out on October 22, the final day of the Muslim holy month of Ramadan."*

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>>>>*"On November 29, 2010, Ali Saad, a 19-year-old, was arrested and had his home raided by the FBI for posting child pornography and death threats on 4chan. Ali had first visited 4chan "a week before [the FBI raid] happened". He admitted to downloading about 25 child pornography images from 4chan."*

.

.

>>>>*"Collin Campbell, a U.S. Navy Machinist's Mate, was arrested in February 2011 after a fellow seaman found child pornography on his iPhone that he downloaded entirely from 4chan."*

.

.

>>>>*"In January 2011, Matthew Riskin Bean, a 20-year-old man from New Jersey, was sentenced to 45 days in prison for cyberbullying on 4chan."*

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>>>>*"According to court documents filed on November 5, 2014, there were images posted to 4chan that appeared to be of a murder victim. The body was discovered in Port Orchard, Washington, after the images were posted. The posts were accompanied by the text: "Turns out it's way harder to strangle someone to death than it looks on the movies." A later post said: "Check the news for Port Orchard, Washington, in a few hours. Her son will be home from school soon. He'll find her, then call the cops. I just wanted to share the pics before they find me." The victim was Amber Lynn Coplin, aged 30. The suspect, 33-year-old David Michael Kalac, surrendered to police in Oregon later the same day; he was charged with second-degree murder involving domestic violence. Kalac was convicted in April 2017 and was sentenced to 82 years in prison the following month."*

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.

>>>>*"On July 14, 2019, 17-year-old Bianca Devins was murdered by 21-year-old Brandon Clark of Utica, New York after the two went to a concert together. The suspect took pictures of the victim's bloodied deceased body and posted it to Discord and his own Instagram page. The photos were widely shared on Instagram and other sites, particularly on 4chan where many users mocked and celebrated her death, saying she deserved it and praising the killer while depicting Devins as a manipulative young woman. Devins had developed a small following online and was a 4chan user herself."*

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>>>>*"Although preceded by similar viral conspiracy theories such as Pizzagate,[23][24] which has since become part of QAnon, the conspiracy theory began with an October 2017 post on the anonymous imageboard 4chan by "Q", who was presumably an American individual;[25] it is now more likely that "Q" has become a group of people acting under the same name.[26][27] A stylometric analysis of Q posts claims to have uncovered that at least two people wrote as "Q" in different periods.[28][29] Q claimed to be a high-level government official with Q clearance, who has access to classified information involving the Trump administration and its opponents in the United States.[30] NBC News reported that three people took the original Q post and spread it across multiple media platforms to build an Internet following for profit. QAnon was preceded by several similar anonymous 4chan posters, such as FBIAnon, HLIAnon (High-Level Insider), CIAAnon, and WH Insider Anon.[31] Although American in origin, there is now a considerable QAnon movement outside of the United States, particularly in Europe."*

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Those are just a few highlights of what the Wiki has to say about the Chan Movement and why so many users on Twitch and Twitter tac the word "chan" to the end of their username.


If you want to read the full aticle to find out all the horrors of this horrendouse group of terrorists, here is the link:


* **[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan)**

* **[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Chanology](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_Chanology)**

* **[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QAnon](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QAnon)**


As of this discovery a new policy is now in place on my channel.. all mods are to **IMMEDIATLY BAN** any one and everyone they see with the word "Chan" at the end of their name, wither that user has ever visited my channel or not.


I want my mods to take ANY user they see on ANY channel ANYWHERE on Twitch to just ban those usernames from my channel as soon as they see them.


#From today forwards ALL USERNAMES ending in "Chan" are to be banned on sight.


#I do not want any member of this terrorist orgination near my channel.


#The Chans are horrible people and I want nothing to do with any of them.


#Anyone found to be a supporter of ANY Chan is to be banned from my channel, even if they do not have "Chan" at the end of their username.


On a side note... do you remember in June 2016 when a group of crazy protestors showed up in my driveway chanting that my family was "Satan worshiping pedophile cannibals of the Scottish Mafia"? Well, it says on that Wiki:


>>>>*"QAnon is a disproven and discredited far-right conspiracy theory alleging that a cabal of Satan-worshipping cannibalistic pedophiles is running a global child sex-trafficking ring and plotting against U.S. president Donald Trump, who is fighting the cabal."*

.

.


Does that me those people in my driveway that day were QAnon members?


Scary... that group included 2 Mormon Bishops, the Old Orchard Beach Town Manager, several motel owners from Old Orchard Beach, an excavation owner in Old Orchard Beach, and 2 Old Orchard Beach Town councillors... uhm... does that mean Old Orchard Beach is infested with QAnon members?


I think I am finally starting to understand the weird accusations that get tossed at me and my family... like being called "Scottish Mafia" when we are not, and being called a "BDSM Dominatrix" when I am not, and being called a "Satan Worshiper" when I am not, or being called "pedophiles' or "cannibals" when we are not.


I never understood these accusations or what the possible source could have been, but I had never heard of QAnon until 2 days ago when Twitter announced they banned 70,000 QAnon members off Twitter, following the terrorist attack in Washington D.C. earlier this week. 


The Tweet my mod was referencing, was a Tweet where I asked "What is QAnon? I never heard of it before."


Okay, so now understand WHERE they got the accusations from, they apparently say those things about everyone. But the question still stands: Why me? Why my family? Why my Twitch channel? How did I become a target for members of such bizarre, psychotically deraged terroist group? 


Also... it says QAnon started in October 2017... but those people who were in my yard, the first time they showed up was April 10, 2015, and they arrived again May 14, 2015, June 12, 2015, September 12, 2015, and each time they showed up the group was bigger. They continued to show up throughout 2016.


Each group was lead by a masked man who always kept his face hidden. The group members called him "Mark" and "Mark Who Needs No Last Name"... he was a tiny elderly man about 5'9" very skinny, and had unkept white hair. He always arrived driving a backhoe, which is the same backhoe that drove over my house August 8, 2013. He was the one seen shooting at me and my family in several livestreams. He was prone to showing up while I was livestreaming... I think he used my livestream schedual to determine if I was home, and I also think he was trying to "get his 15 minutes of fame" because he was always trying to get himself and his rifales on my webcams.


All of it was recorded via those livestreams *(yes, this is why several Witcher 3 VODs are not available for you to watch... it's the ones with the terrorist attacks on my family in them.)*, and all the video footage forwarded to local police, who in turn forwarded it to the FBI, and the FBI assigned Agent Andy Drewer to the case June 26, 2016.


All of that was a full 2 years before the October 2017 date in that article.



As of this discovery a new policy is now in place on my channel.. all mods are to **IMMEDIATLY BAN** any one and everyone they see with the word "Chan" at the end of their name, wither that user has ever visited my channel or not.


I want my mods to take ANY user they see on ANY channel ANYWHERE on Twitch to just ban those usernames from my channel as soon as they see them.

#From today forwards ALL USERNAMES ending in "Chan" are to be banned on sight.

#I do not want any member of this terrorist organization near my channel.

#The Chans are horrible people and I want nothing to do with any of them.

#Anyone found to be a supporter of ANY Chan is to be banned from my channel, even if they do not have "Chan" at the end of their username.


#UPDATED to answer this question:

......................

*How is it you have never heard of 4chan or QAnon? I thought you were a dark webber? Everyone always talks about how you know all the darkest deepest sites on the internet. 4chan is like the biggest dark web website ever.*

......................

Uhm... WHO exactly says I know dark web websites and what exactly is a dark webber?

I've been on the internet since 1996, but I build websites, I don't visit websites. In my 25 years on the internet I've probably visited fewer than 100 websites total, if that many. In fact, I can list off the top of my head websites I visit and use:

* Amazon

* Blogger/BlogSpot (as a blog writer, I don't read blogs by others)

* Deviantart (as a blog writer, I don't read/view content by others)

* eBay

* FaceBook

* FanFiction.Net (not visited since 2011)

* LinkedIn (as a blog writer, I don't read blogs by others)

* LiveJournal (as a blog writer, I don't read blogs by others)

* MySpace

* Nexus

* Pinterest


* SoapBox

* Squidoo (ceased to exist 2013)

* Twitch

* Twitter

* WordPress (as a blog writer, I don't read blogs by others)

* YouTube

* Zazzle

Wow... not only didn't reach 100, I didn't even reach 20.

I find it rather laughable that you or ANY ONE would think of me as someone who knows "dark web" web sites.

When exactly do you think I have time to browse the internet to even look for any website at all?

I work 80 to 120 hour weeks. 

I publish 4 novels a year, dozens of short stories a month, 2 to 3 non-fiction articles every day, paint on canvas with acrylic art for **[new merch products](https://www.zazzle.com/store/eelkat)** weekly, write for 12 blogs, and a manage/edit/write for 200 websites **[like this one](https://www.eelkat.com/)** which I built from the ground up and am the ONLY person managing/editing/writing for... AND I'm a retail merchandiser for HallMark travelling hundreds of miles a week to set up displays at WalMarts, CVS, Post Offices, WalGreens, and Khols all over New England. On top of all of that I make YouTube videos AND stream on Twitch.

So, explain to me WHEN you think it is that I have any free time for browsing the internet? 

I don't know who told you I was a "dark webber" or that I would know anything about "dark web" web sites, but, honey... check their username... did it say "Chan" at the end of their name? Yeah... THEY are a "dark webber" who visits "dark web" websites, not me, as can be clearly seen by them putting "Chan" at the end of their username.

You might want to reconsider where you get your information about me, who you get your information about me from, and fact check the source of the information you get about me.








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