Looking to connect with me on social media? Links to all my official accounts can be found here:

<<<<---  If it is not on that list, it is not me. 

Please note that since 2013, there have shown up several FAKE "EelKat" accounts, often using photos stolen from my website. Those accounts are run by a stalker who also goes by the names Kendra Silvermander & Tom Addams. They are wanted by the FBI, so if you run across one of these fake accounts pretending to be me, please report it to FBI Agent in charge of the case: Andy Drewer.

EelKat's Guide To Writing Monster Porn
The Kboards Article Reprint

Monster Porn Short Story Beat Sheets

NOTE: This article was written for KBoards in 2012. It was updated on a near weekly basis until I removed it from Kboards in 2014 after my Kboards account was hacked. It started out around 7,000 words and grew to over 60,000 words. It was the biggest and most popular of the 1,371 articles I wrote for Kboards between 2007 and 2012. It continued to grow as readers asked for more details and I expanded the article to answer their questions. Because the article was written over the course of multiple years, there are multiple dates mentioned throughout it. Updates that were added to it after if was moved here to EelKat.com are bolded.

Note that this is a very old article and references publishing methods via Amazon, that were discontinued by Amazon in June 2015. While most of the info in this article is still relevant now in 2017, some parts of it are outdated.




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To read the previous part of this article, head to this page.


Mine has a tendency to lean toward more Horror themed then Romance themed, but are also more Romance then Erotica. In the first Monster Porn I ever wrote the monster strangled the girl to death at the end and that kind of set the tone for all the rest. The 10th anniversary special edition re-release of that one comes out on this pen name October 16, 2016, which is of course the tenth anniversary of it's original release date. After that one is released, my other titles are being moved off their original pen names over to this pen name after that, and that will be ongoing throughout 2016/2017.

Most of my Monster Porn has the same basic formula (which runs 4k to 12k) and goes like this:

  • Human (girl or guy) has big bad event happen 
  • Life gets worse and worse
  • Another big, bad event. Damn, life has just gone to shit, can it get any worse?
  • Enter stage right: The Monster.
  • Oh hell, life just got worse, now I'm abducted by a damned monster and no one will help me.
  • Must escape. How do I get out of here?
  • Eh, monster don't seem so scary now that I'vee gotten to know him.
  • Life with monster ain't that bad, actual, life with monster is pretty great.
  • Big bad event, moster gets hurt or life threatened, at the same time human finds chance to escape.
  • Yay! I'm free! I can go home!
  • Damn it, I can't leave the monster to his fate, I have to go back to help him.
  • Helps monster. Realizes is in love with monster and decides to stay.
  • BOOM! SEX!

Choose one of these endings:

  • --#1: Monster eats/murders/kills human, The end.
  • --#2: Monster sends human home, human has new perspective on life and turns life around for the better, The end.
  • --#3: Something happens to monster, is hurt, captured, etc, To be continued.
  • --#4: Something happens to human, is hurt, captured, etc, To be continued.
  • --#5: Human leaves monster, but discovers she is pregnent, To be continued.
  • --#6: Human stays with monster, and discovers she is pregnent, To be continued.
  • --#7: Human stays with monster, something happens to hint to a new adventure about to take place, To be continued.
  • --#8: Monster sends human home, human can't live without monster, decides to find him, To be continued.

The first one I wrote went like this:

  • Girl on cruise.
  • Storm arrives.
  • Girl wakes up on deserted island
  • Hopes to be rescued
  • Tide comes in, suddenly she realizes the island is more of a sandbar and is fast vanishing.
  • Rescued/Captured by Were-Eel Merman (the EelMan which became my signature monster)
  • Trapped in underwater cave with EelMan
  • Tries to escape
  • Finds cave in cave, EelMan won't let her near it
  • Falls in love
  • Sex
  • Plans on happy ever after, forgets loverboy is not human and is very much a true monster
  • Girl let's guard down
  • Monster kills girl
  • Cabe in cave, is revealed to be a room full of human bones; all the ship wrecked humans he's eaten over the years
  • Rescue party looking for survivors, finds girl's remains on beach, assumes she died in ship wreck
  • The end

That went out as a freebie to my readers on October 16, 2004. I called it just plain old Horror back then. They loved it. It went on to become my most requested story for quite some time, and in 2006 was made into a stage play. The story got reprinted in a few small indie literary magazines, then had a play script edition of it printed up in paperback. But there was never an e-edition of it released.

The original book (2004) was just 4k words long, and was REALLY tame, because it was my first "Erotica" and I was still suffering from being "too shy to write sex". However, this book is the one that my fans always go back to as one of their favorites.

The play (which came out in 2006) had all sex removed, and all dialogue removed, and the whole thing was done as a modern dance ballet. In the play edition, the waves and sea creatures became characters. It was quite a bit different from the book.

It went out of print in 2008.

On my 35th anniversary (September 23, 2013 - first book I published was that date 1978) I sent out a notice to my fans, telling them I was going to release special editions of some of my old out of print stories. The Pearl Necklace won hands down as the one every one wanted to see back in print. I was getting emails:

"Please re-release that EelMan story, I love the EelMan! But can you rewrite it and make it longer, maybe put more sex in it" 

and 

"Oh, I loved that one with the eel and the pearls, that was just the best monster you ever did! can you add more sex to the new edition?"

and 

"The one with the ship wreck and the WereEel, I haven't read that in years, that one was my favorite, can't find it anywhere, please bring that one back!" 

Every email, was saying the same thing.There was no question, that The Pearl Necklace was the one that had to come back first. Everyone wanted it, in spite of the VERY not a happy ending. It really has a horrible ending and that didn't matter at all, they still loved it. I never listed that one as Erotica, always listed it as Horror, because of the way it ends.

The expanded edition (to be released in 2016) is 10k and at reader requests has had more sex added to it.

**(April 2015 UPDATE: The Ku Klux Klan attacks are worse, kidnapping, murder, and the mass destruction of our farm, has resulted in a book publish hiatus until further notice)***

But that story, The Pearl Necklace, that was it. That was the turning point in my career. Before that story I had never had a "big hit". (Note that not only was The Pearl Necklace a big hit with my fans, but, it became a cult favorite among my fans and set me on the path to writing about sex with monsters).

I had one flop after another. Lots of them. It was discouraging really. I had written The Pearl Necklace in a single day off the top of my head. It took me, like 2 hours to write it. It was not the first time I had used this EelMan character, nor was it the last, but it was the first time I had used him as a quasi-Romance character and that version of him, just hit a tap root with my readers. All of a sudden I had readers emailing me asking for more. They loved him as a romantic villain.:-\

And more I gave them, and the whole thing just evolved from there.

I'm closing in on my 10th anniversary of my first Monster Porn story, and The Pearl Necklace is still today the standard I use to write all my Monster Porn by. I used that first one to create a mini-beat-sheet, that I use to write all my Monster Porn by:

(You can use these beat sheets if you want to, can keep them as is or change them up. -just don't copy them to publish - I've had a problem with people copying my Kboards posts and trying to resell them as pdfs on the Warrior's Forum. And if you want a more detailed beat sheet, I highly recommend this one: http://www.paper-dragon.com/1939/dent.html Not mine, I didn't create it, but I often use this, and apply mine to it, so combine them together.)

Here is a basic beat sheet I created for myself, that I use with many of my Monster Porn stories:

For Shorter Stories (5k to 15k):

  • Girl/Boy has happy life turned upside down by horrible event.
  • Girl/Boy finds them-self in distress
  • Hopes to be rescued
  • Drama/Tragedy/Things getting worse/No hope in sight
  • Rescued/Captured/Taken/Saved by Monster
  • Trapped/Captured/Prisoner/Pet/Slave of Monster
  • Escape attempt (fails) 
  • Falls in love with Monster
  • Sex with Monster

Pick an ending:


  • #1:
  • Plans on happy ever after, forgets loverboy is not human and is very much a true monster
  • Killed by Monster
  • Body found by friend/family/search party/police/etc
  • The end 

(no sequels happen)

For an example of how I took this beat sheet and applied it to a quasi-not-quite-Monster Porn story, see: The Ghost of Willowhurst Manor: Formerly: The Mystery of Willowhurst Manor: A Ghostly Tale of Gothic Horror 

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MT5AY14 (2016 update - this book was unpublished, by a court order issued by the Untied States of America government - find out why here.)


  • --#2: Monster sends human home, human has new perspective on life and turns life around for the better, The end.

 (The Pearl Necklace)

(2006 stage play cover)

(EelKat's Twisted Tales)

(2016 10th anniversary edition)

  • --#3: Something happens to monster, is hurt, captured, etc, To be continued.

(BoomFuzzy; The Vulgar Alchemist; The Ruby Hummingbird)

(The Quaraun series)

(The Quaraun series)

(Friends Are Forever: The Twighlight Manor series)

  • --#4: Something happens to human, is hurt, captured, etc, To be continued.

 (The City of the Screaming Statues; Captured By the Memegwasi)

(original 1st ed cover art)

(The Quaraun series)

  • --#5: Human leaves monster, but discovers she is pregnant, To be continued.
  • The Night of the Red Lightning (My Alien Lover Book 1), follows this model.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00Y5CN9DY

(2016 update - the My Alien Lover series was unpublished, by a court order issued by the Untied States of America government - find out why here.)

(Trapped By The FarDarrig series also follows this)

For Quaraun fans... Vol 1 of Trapped by the FarDarrig series, was re-written into a Quaraun story in 2014... The Vampire Leprechaun of Fire Mountain

And of course in Monster Porn you have such things as pregnant men (Mpreg) resulting in stories like Picking The Perfect Pickle

  • --#6: Human stays with monster, and discovers she is pregnant, To be continued.

(The Lonely Kelpie, Picking The Perfect Pickle -which is Mpreg)

  • --#7: Human stays with monster, something happens to hint to a new adventure about to take place, To be continued.

(Jungle Girl)

  • --#8: Monster sends human home, human can't live without monster, decides to find him, To be continued.

The Night of The Screaming Unicorn: A Bizarro Fantasy (The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane Book 1), follows this format. While it is Monster Porn, it is not however Erotica, they are two different things.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00N97L1D6

Sometimes I use it as is, other times I change it around, but that's the outline I often start with as a jumping off point. Sometimes, for longer stories, I use that beat sheet, slightly expanded:

For longer stories (15k to 50k):


  • --Girl/Boy has happy life turned upside down by horrible event.
  • --Girl/Boy finds them-self in distress
  • --Hopes to be rescued
  • --Drama/Tragedy/Things getting worse/No hope in sight
  • --Rescued/Captured/Taken/Saved by Monster
  • --Trapped/Captured/Prisoner/Pet/Slave of Monster
  • --Escape from Monster
  • --Captured/Taken by Monster again
  • --Second escape attempt (fails) 
  • --Something happens, moster is Hurt/Trapped/Captured/Taken/Prisoner
  • --Girl/Boy escapes, free at last, heads for home
  • --Girl/Boy feels guilty, goes back to save monster
  • --Falls in love with Monster
  • --Sex with Monster
  • --Plans on happy ever after, forgets loverboy is not human and is very much a true monster
  • --More sex with Monster
  • --Monster loses interest goes back to being a Monster elsewhere
  • --Girl/Boy found by friend/family/search party/police/etc
  • --The end... ?

sometimes... .

  • --often has a sequel, where love sick Girl/Boy goes looking for Monster
  • --If it was a male monster/female human, then pregnancy is often the theme for #2, and is the reason the female human tries to find Monster daddy
  • --If it was a female monster/male human; then pregnancy is often the theme for #2, is the reason Monster mommy has gone off by herself
  • --If it was male human/male monster; human can't stop thinking about monster and seeks monster out
  • --if 2 is last part will end with HEA
  • --the sequel will have HFN ending if a part 3 is planned
  • --if more then 2 parts, usually there are 5 parts; 2/3/4 HFN, with 5 HEA
  • --which ever sequel is final one it ends with human staying on as monster's "bonded soul mate"

Remember, you asked about writing Monster Porn, not Paranormal Romance. So I am giving you an answer about Monster Porn and not Paranormal Romance. Much of what I'm saying here can be applied to Paranormal Romance. I mention this, because I have found it is not uncommon for someone to ask me about Monster Porn, when they intended to write Paranormal Romance, but were unaware that Paranormal Romance was a separate genre. You can take ANY monster and use him as a stand in for any Romance hero, but that will not make the story Monster Porn, that simply makes it Paranormal Romance. 

ALWAYS REMEMBER: Monster Porn is a subgenre of Horror, NOT a subgenre of either Romance or Erotica. 

  • Romance MUST have a happy ever after ending
  • Erotica MUST have a happy for now ending.
  • Horror RARELY has a happy ending... it can, but usually it does not.

And therefore...

  • Paranormal Romance MUST have a happy ever after ending
  • Monster Erotica MUST have a happy for now ending.
  • Monster Porn RARELY has a happy ending... it can, but usually it does not.

Keep the ending requirements in mind, because readers of each genre, expect a certain ending, and if you mess that up, they'll complain. A LOT~!

If all you girl does is get fucked by a monster and be all titilated over it then you are writing Paanormal Erotica, not Monster Porn.


In Paranormal Romance, the "monsters" act human. In Monster Porn, they are monsters. They eat people, they crush cars, stomp on houses, rip heads off babies, eat the main character's lover, etc. In Monster Porn, the monster is NOT Fabio with fangs and fur. Monster Porn monsters are feral and primal, and are likely to rip the girl's head off soon as they are done fucking her.

REMEMBER:  You are not writing Romance with monsters in it, you are writing Horror that takes a look at a monster's mating habits. 

You can't write Monster Porn is you don't know how to write Horror.

What is horror? 

When you think of horror stories what do you think of?  For most people one of three things seems to be the first answer they think of: Vincent Price, Stephen King, or Dracula (and the other Universal Studios Monsters). 

Okay. So these things/ people/ movies/ books embody all that we think of when we think of horror, but what exactly IS this thing called horror? What is it about Vincent Price, Stephen King, and Dracula that sends shivers down your spine, and thrills and enthralls you with mesmerizing fear? 

Is it blood? No. Can't be, rarely do we actually see blood in connection with the three classic kings of horror. 

Guts and gore? Nope, those aren't there either. 

You are now scratching your head and wondering... well, if it isn't blood, guts, and gore, that makes good horror stories good, than what?

Lets take a look at what the dictionary has to say about horror, shall we?

horror:

noun;

  • 1. Intense and profound fear
  • 2. Something that inspires horror; something horrible.
  • 3. Intense aversion.

fear:

noun;

  • 1. An emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific pain or danger (usually accompanied by a desire to flee or fight).
  • 2. An anxious feeling.

verb;

  • 1. Be afraid or feel anxious or apprehensive about a possible or probable situation or event.
  • 2. Be afraid or scared of; be frightened of. 


So, What is horror? 

Horror is what scares you. You want to write a good horror story? Don't fill it with blood, guts, and gore, that is not horror, that is just graphic violence. If your readers want graphic violence, all they need to do is turn on the 6:00 news. No, your readers want horror. They want to be scared out of their wits, they want to be afraid...very afraid.

But how do you go about scaring your readers, if you don't splatter your pages with blood and gore? Well, think about it this way, doesn't everyone always say "Write what you know"? Well, what are you afraid of? What scares you? Pick your worst fear, the thing that sends you to bed with all the lights on. If it scares you, than it sure as hell, is going to scare your readers too.

Real people have real fears. You as a writer, have the ability to take those very real fears, and dress them up, use your reader as you main character. Psychological fears create psychological terrors, equals a story so horrific that your readers won't dare sleep at night. 

I have provided here a list of common real phobias that send shivers of terror down the spines of everyday humans on a daily basis in the real world. I have listed them in the order of what seem to be the most common or most prevalent fears first, and ending with the least common and more rarely seen fears last. It should inspire some fearful subjects for you to scare your readers with.

I hope.

  • Fear of the dark.
  • Fear of bridges.
  • Fear of things unknown.
  • Fear of the end of the world, natural disaster, or other impending doom.
  • Fear of being judged.
  • Fear of going to hell after death.
  • Fear of small rooms, elevators, and closed in spaces.
  • Fear of being followed.
  • Fear of death, or the threat of being killed.
  • Fear of being lost, either in the forest or a large city.
  • Fear of squishy things, especially stepping on, or reaching into a dark place and grabbing one.
  • Fear of snakes.
  • Fear of bugs, insects, ticks, and spiders.
  • Fear of rats and mice.
  • Fear of strangers.
  • Fear of closed doors.
  • Fear of bathrooms, toilets, and tub drains.
  • Fear of stairs, attics, basements, closets, under the bed, and that little room down the hall...
  • Fear of water, esp. lakes and rivers.
  • Fear of being alone.
  • Fear of dogs.
  • Fear of eating something that was not supposed to be in your food...i.e. poison, bug, a rat's tail, a human finger, etc.
  • Fear of sleeping or working on the 13th floor or in room number 13.
  • Fear of manholes, dug wells, and elevator shafts.
  • Fear of noises, creaks, bumps, and bangs, esp. at night.
  • Fear of subways, trains, and planes.
  • Fear of high places.
  • Fear of doctors.
  • Fear of the police.
  • Fear of black dogs.
  • Fear of old buildings.
  • Fear of cemeteries.
  • Fear of ghosts, spirits, and demon possession.
  • Fear of alien abduction.
  • Fear of thunder or lightening.
  • Fear of birds.
  • Fear of black cats.
  • Fear of ladders.

add your worst fears... 

What scares you? Pick a fear. Write a story based on that fear. If you scare yourself, then you'll scare your readers and isn't that what Horror is all about? If you write a sexual encounter with a monster and it isn't scaring you shitless, driving terror into your reader, making them have nightmares for weeks, then you have written Paranormal Romance, not Monster Porn. Monster Porn has the strong element of fear running through it. Yes it can also be fun, kooky, and sexy, but the thread of fear and danger is always there. In the back of her mind, she knows, this is a monster and he could kill her at any minute. 

And if you ask my readers what it is I write, first word out of their mouth is almost always "Horror". 

Not Romance.

Not Erotica.

Not Fantasy.

Horror.

People who look at my book covers call me every genre imaginable, but people who have actually read my books, also call them "Horror" or "Weird Horror" or "Bizarre Horror". Always Horror.

They see me as a Horror writer. 

I've also started listing in the new release blurbs a chart that looks like this:

  • TYPE: Short Story/Novella/Novel
  • WORD COUNT: xx,xxx words
  • PAGE COUNT: xx printed paperback pages
  • POV: 1st, 3rd
  • HAPPY EVER AFTER?: HEA/HFN/yes/no/sort of/
  • CONTINUING SERIAL? No/Yes this is volume x of x
  • ADULT CONTENT?: Yes; this book contains erotic (M/m or M/f or F/m)content and is intended for mature audiences only.
  • INTERRACIAL COUPLES? No/Yes WM/BM ect
  • GENRE: Literary Monster Porn/Erotica/Erotic Horror, etc
  • Type of Monster: Merman/Ghost/Vampire/Selkie/Phooka/Orc/etc

***ETA: May 30, 2015: (NOTE: In recent months, typing the words "porn", "Erotica", "mature", "adult", or "Erotic" in your description - EVEN IN NON-EROTICA CATEGORIES, will usually send your book to the adult filter dungeon.) ****

For the most part, if I wrote it, stand-alones are going to have bloody ending with the monster eating/killing/whatever the girl or boy captures, thus fallen into Horror. Whereas in serials, a long running Romance develops and eventually turns into a HEA, thus becoming either Fantasy or Paranormal Romance.

And as a reader... I've seen every ending possibly. This really is a genre where you can just write whatever you want for an ending and get away with it: happy, sad, good, bad, or ugly. There's no "typical standard" for the types of endings seen in Monster stories, every author has their own thing they do. So you can go HEA, HFN, dumped and sad, dumped and pregnant, dead and in the monster's belly... there is no right or wrong and the genre is so weird and so new that readers don't have "firm expectations" the way romance readers do for Romance novels. It's kind of a try-anything genre. You could try Zombie Porn even.

Zombie Erotica... hmmm... I've not tried that... *makes note to have my Necromancer build a few Zombies Dwarves and Ghoul Gnomes* (he just killed a Dwarf and a Gnome - now he has something to do with the bodies )

HOT: Bigfoot, Yeti, Dinosaurs, Shifters of all types (esp Dog Demons, Hellhounds, Lions, Jaguars, Cuttlefish, and Birdmen), Faeries, Merman (in every form from hot surfer looking guys to Creature From The Black Lagoon beasts), Selkies, Centaurs, Vampires (true evil monsters, not modern urban Fantasy type - that's Paranormal romance), Cthulhu and other Squidmen or Lovecraftian type Tentacle creatures, Aliens... pretty much any classic mythical creature... .if they are shape-shifters who can take on a human form or if they are humanoid, they attract more readers.

Harder to sell: Orcs, Trolls, Goblins, Minotaurs, Leprechauns, Gnomes, Unicorns, Griffins...the less "human" they are the less readers they attract. But don't let that stop you from writing it, because it does have readers, you'll just have to write other stuff besides if you want to make a living at it.

Extreme alpha male monsters vs extreme submissive female human rape Fantasy DubCon is the reigning pairing of Monster Porn, but be careful, if your titles or keywords or blurb or cover art are gets too risque` Amazon will BAN the book, not dungeon it, but BAN it.

Breeding Erotica is a big seller in Monster Porn, as is Lactation Erotica. A common series layout goes:

  • Volume 1: Abduction and Breeding,
  • Volume 2: More Breeding,
  • Volume 3: More Breeding and Big Pregnancy Boobs,
  • Volume 4: Lactation Fetish and more Breeding;
  • Volume 4: Even Bigger Preggy Boobs - WOW!;
  • Volume 5: Half-breed Babies, and More Breeding, oh My!,
  • Volume 6 onwards: cycle repeats itself volume after volume.

In Monster Porn the monsters want boobs and babies, that's the #1 reason they abduct humans.

In the Monster Porn universe, male monsters go boob fetish and their females lack the boobs they want, so they hunt down big breasted super model human girls, or even bigger breasted BBWs (big beautiful women).

M/m gay Monster Porn is HOT - it doesn't sell as well as M/f, but it still sells like hotcakes. M/m Monster Porn sells far better than plain M/m Erotica, so if you want to write m/m stories, write them as Monster Porn and they'll sell better.

Crude sex, sex, sex, sex as is typical of other Porn doesn't sell as well in Monster Porn, as does a detailed plot. There is a lot of crude sex, sex, sex in Monster Porn, yes, BUT, there is a lot of plot and story too - something not typically seen in other types of Porn. In Monster porn the story is what readers want as much as the crude sex, and plot is VERY IMPORTANT to Monster porn, even if the plot is absolute unbelievable B-movie insanity (B-movie insanity is a common plot style in Monster porn, actually). While other types of Erotica can sell with nothing but sex scenes alone, Monster Porn MUST have an engaging plot behind the sex if it is to sell well. So make sure there's plot with your sex, because this is NOT your standard Erotica.

Most regular Erotica is sex beginning to end with no story. Most regular Erotica is under 5k words. Most Monster porn is 13k words or more.

REMEMBER: In spite of it's name, Monster Porn is NOT TRUE porn! It is actually Romantic Horror Erotica or Erotic Horror Romance. The best sellers in Monster Porn are series and serials which have a big over arching story. Each volume than has a stand alone story with a smaller mini-plot. Most of the highly successful Monster porn series/serials have HEA not HFN endings and most feature lots of "sexual tension" scenes throughout the story, with only one single, solitary BIG BANG sex scene near the end. (There is actually far less sex in Monster Porn than many non-readers of it realize - regular human on human Erotica has far more and far more graphic sex in them then most Monster Porn does.)

Top selling Monster Porn series of all time is Virginia Wade's Cum For BigFoot (the serial ran for 16 volumes before Amazon forced her to end the series prematurely) (now banned on Amazon - look for it on Smashwords instead; or look for her drastically edited Amazon version: Moan For BigFoot) She almost single handedly created the genre, read her books to get a feel for how it's written.

Side note: Everybody knows Virgina Wade makes $30,000 PER MONTH on Cum For BigFoot. Right? Nope. That is a complete misquote of an interview with her. While the BigFoot series was her top seller OVERALL across 16 titles in the set, it was her Viking and Pirate Historical Romance NOT her Monster Porn that brought in $30k a month.

There are not enough readers of Monster Porn for it to earn you $30k a month, so don't be sucked in by that myth. A lot of scam artists are putting up very expensive pdfs on the Warrior's Forum, offering to teach you how to make $30k a month on Monster Porn. They are misquoting Virginia Wade's sales. Is was her human/human Historical Romance, NOT her Monster Porn bringing in the $30k a month. Monster Porn only has a few thousand readers. You have to write A LOT of titles to keep making a lot of money with Monster Porn. The big sellers report sales varying from $400 to $12,000 a month, with most months staying in the $2k range. It's not as big a cash cow as the media hyped it up to be. So keep that in mind if you are in it for the money. 

A lot of people jumped on the Monster Porn band wagon when they read that Virginia Wade was making $30k a month and than got upset when they were not seeing close to that. Fact was, while she was famous for BigFoot, the $30k quote was in reference to Viking Romance not Monster Porn. This confusion got started when reporters started saying stuff like "Author of Monster Porn make $30k in one month!" A true statement, yes, but not fully accurate - it implies that it was the Monster Porn bringing in the mega income, when in fact all it really said was that an author who wrote Monster Porn (in the past - she had stopped writing it long before the $30k quote) had suddenly earned $30k - it never said HOW she earned the $30k - the way it was worded it could have just as easily meant she won the $30k on a lottery ticket.

Longer Monster Porn (15k to 20k) tends to sell better than shorter (under 10k), but both sell fairly well.

This is another thing to keep in mind: short stories are hard to sell, even in Monster Porn, shorts fall way behind in rankings. Again look at Virginia Wade's books: they were all novellas of AT LEAST 20k words, they were not short stories. 

Do an Amazon search of Monster Porn - check the sales ranks - they are all very low. 200,000 to 2,500,000 - yeah, not the big sellers the media is hyping them up as. Usually the shorter the word count, the lower the sales rank because the shorter the word count, the less plot there is. (Remember what I said about the need for a lot of plot and story line?) Authors making money on Monster Porn are doing it by HIGH PRICES and huge QUANTITY and 20k novella titles. Most Monster Porn is double the price of regular Erotica and most Monster Porn authors have HUGE blacklists of 100, 200, even 300 titles PER PEN NAME - and many Monster Porn pen names belong to only a few authors - not uncommon for Monster Porn Authors to have 4 or 5 or more pen names, and also write A LOT of other genres in addition to Monster Porn. There are only a few Monster Porn authors, like Virginia Wade whose title rank high in sales rank.

The need for a lot of plot, a lot of story, a lot of character dialogue, and far fewer sex scenes than is typical of most Erotica, is a common newbie mistake in Monster Porn. Many jump into Monster Porn thinking they can write short plotless stories that are nothing but sex beginning to end, with no plot, and than wonder why they aren't reaching Wade's level of success. READ her BigFoot books before trying to write this genre - you may be surprised at the lower sex content and highly character driven story line and multiple plots going on in her series. 

Series, serials, and stand-alones all sell well in Monster Porn, but do keep in mind series and serials outsell stand-alones 10 to 1, so if you write stand alones they do better if they are part of a "matched set".

Monster Porn can command higher prices: for example - $2.99 for 3k words, $3.99 for 10k words, $4.99 for 20k words, $8.99 for novel length - double or triple that for the print editions.

TIP: Don't throw out ANY of your stories.

Save everything.

I had one I was writing a year ago. It was planned to be a 15k Monster Porn. I got about 4k into it and stopped. It was just not working. The idea was good and all, but the way I was writing it, something was wrong and I couldn't place what it was. So I just stuffed it aside and went on to something else. 

Last month, I'm working on a totally different series, and I start writing the next volume (planning to be 25k Fantasy) and I start thinking...hmmm, this sounds familiar. Like I wrote it before. Then I remembered the story from last year, and realize why the old story wasn't working. The characters were completely wrong for the plot line, as well as wrong genre. So I dig out the old story, drop it into my new story, change old characters to match the new characters, tweak out the Monster Porn Romance stuff, and it was BOOM! Suddenly the story works. 

Turns out there was nothing wrong with the plot idea, I was just trying to stuff it into the wrong genre with the wrong characters, in the wrong series. Now that I've got it in a new genre, with new characters, the story is moving along nicely and is at 27k words (which I will start editing soon as I'm done being sick. Icky sick in bed week.)

This is why I never delete/throw away a story. I may never write it, but I also may go back to and and discover it really wanted to be something completely different than I originally thought it was. I've had several stories born out of the ashes of old stories I started and never finished.

NEWSFLASH: Get it in print!

Monster Porn sells well in print.

Why?

Because a large portion of the fan base are senior citizens - yes you read that correctly: your grandmother reads Monster Porn.

I frequently get mobbed by little old ladies in their 70s and 80s whenever I do book signings for my Monster Porn (I've even got a few fans who are men in their 90s - I know because I meet them and the first thing they told me "I'm 97 years old... ."). Most seniors prefer print to ebooks. Use larger font than normal in your print editions: I use 14pt. It was a common request for Large Print editions of my Monster Porn, because seniors can't see the smaller fonts as easily.

WARNING: Monster Porn is HIGH on Amazon's "Erotica Sweep Radar", more than 70% of all Monster Porn titles get dungeoned or banned, within 3 weeks of their release date.

If you a gonna write Monster Porn you gotta learn the art of flying under Amazon's radar. Important tips on how to do that

Be Careful with your cover art. This is a biggie. Monster Porn got pulled left and right a few months back, but not everyone got hit (I write Monster Porn and my books remained unaffected). Looking at all the books that got banned or dungeoned, the common thread was the cover art being VERY against Amazon's ToS (lots of hand bras and nude girls with long hair to cover boobs, while holding a leaf down below, that sort of thing) or had titles that used explicit words (in the blurbs as well). Yet while hundreds of Monster Porn books vanished off Amazon and hundreds more were dungeoned, there remained as many that were unaffected and had tamer covers (girls in bikinis, girls wearing sundresses, girls in hot pants and Ts, etc) with no explicit words in the titles or blurbs. Girls in their undies get pulled off Amazon when they are on Monster Porn covers. In Monster porn a bikini clad babe is less likely to get banned then the bra and panty clad babe (stuff that doesn't normally get pulled in other Erotica, like a girl in her undies, gets pulled in Monster Porn - Amazon is more strict with Monster Porn than with other Erotica)

I don't think Amazon is targeting Erotica (Monster Porn or other wise) just for the sake of targeting Erotica (as some would have you believe), I think Amazon is simply targeting BOOK COVERS, TITLES, and BLURBS that are too porny to be classified as Erotica. Amazon allows Erotica, not Porn, and the books that Amazon targets are the ones with cover art that crosses the line out of Erotica and into Porn. But because of the word "porn" in the name of the genre, it looks like amazon does look closer at Monster Porn for offenses than it does other types of Erotica, so keep that in mind when designing covers, choosing titles, and writing blurbs.

I think Amazon uses certain keywords to seek out and find the offending cover art, thus why all the Monster Porn got hit in one batch, etc, but I still think Amazon is only using those keywords to scout out TOS violations of cover art and not worrying about the actual content of the text, otherwise they'd pull ALL Monster Porn - which they didn't, far from it in fact. In spite of the hype only a small amount of those books actually got banned/pulled off Amazon and only the ones with the really "extra naughty" ToS violation cover art.

My conclusion is that if you keep your cover art "tasteful" and refrain from using explicit words in your titles and blurbs, you shouldn't have to worry about the dungeon or books being pulled, because in spite of the masses of books hit by Amazon's "Erotica Purge" I've yet to see any with more Romantica looking covers hit by the purge. My thoughts at least, based on which books I've seen pulled and which books I've seen left untouched.

Personally I really don't put anything on the covers of my Monster Porn at all - it's basically just the title and that's it. If you read a lot of Monster Porn, than yeah, you know my pen names because my lack of cover art does stand out against the other Monster Porn books out there.But it is my lack of cover art on my Monster porn that has kept it out of the Dungeon, not Adult Filtered, and not banned.

Remember that Monster Porn by its nature borders into BDSM. It is usually extreme slave/Master abduction Erotica, girls tied up and raped are common, as is sexual torture. Many Monster Porn stories are nothing more than BDSM with a non-human alpha taking over as the Dom.

I point this out because there are currently rumors going around that Amazon is undergoing a BDSM crackdown and Monster Porn authors are on the alert because if BDSM takes a hit that means Monster Porn will be in for another blow.

I've seen a lot of messages/posts/comments the past month by authors claiming Amazon has pulled every BDSM title they had and I've contacted various authors asking for more info (title, cover art, blurb, and keywords) to see if I could determine what it was that was triggering the ban. After comparing the various books and info, I noticed a trend and it seemed that it was not BDSM specifically that was being targeted, but rather certain words in the titles and blurbs, and certain types of cover art.

I came to the conclusion that that Amazon was filtering out anything that could be seen as "rape" or "abuse". Three of the books in question had used the word "forced", specifically phrased like this: "Forced by the ___", a few of them used words such as "kidnapped by strangers" and "taken by force" in the blurbs. Five of the books showed a woman locked in a very small cage (3'x3' ish) laying on the floor of it, covered in bruises, unconscious, with blood on her lips. In every case, the cover showed a woman with her arms/hands/wrists/mouth tied with ropes.

Surprisingly, though every single author CLAIMED their book was BDSM, I found none of the books to be anything even close to BDSM (and this is coming from someone who has lived in a BDSM relationship for 27 years, so I know BDSM very well, and I can tell in an instant if the author is an active member of the BDSM community and/or a BDSM partnership, or is just making things up based on what they read in 50 Shades) 

Sadly these authors who were on various forums and blogs complaining that Amazon was banning BDSM because Amazon had banned their books, were not in fact writing BDSM. It was painfully obvious that they had no clue the difference between a DOM/sub or MASTER/slave relationship and abuse. For clarification purposes, I am the slave of a 27 year long MASTER/slave relationship, so I know for a fact, how deeply insanely wrong these particular authors had gotten their facts.

Remember: in BDSM BOTH characters are having fun and enjoying themselves. The moment one character fears the other, it's crossed the line from BDSM to abuse. This hold true for Monster Porn as well. Slaves to the monsters OFTEN have plenty of opportunities to escape the monster and do not take them because they WANT to be with the monster.

The books in question, those BDSM ones, were glorifying a gang of STRANGERS cornering, attacking, kidnapping, and TAKING AGAINST HER WILL by FORCE an 18 year old teenager girl, who was FORCED AGAINST HER WILL to be their slave and live in a cage. Of the 9 books these authors had sent me the information for, 7 of these books had that exact same basic plot. This is a common issue with Monster Porn as well. While your monster should be savage, he should also have feelings for the well being of the slave and NOT be abusing or neglecting her.

The stories were NOT in any way even close to being BDSM on any level, nor were they DubCon (dubious consent), they were in fact outright glorification of kidnapping, gang-raping, beating, and abusing a victim.

This is important for a Monster Porn writer!

There is a vast difference between actual rape and rape Fantasy. While Monster Porn is often seen as being about rape and abuse, in actual fact, you rarely see any real rape or abuse in Monster Porn! Remember what I said earlier about how most Monster Porn has a lot of sexual tension and only one BIG BANG sex scene at the end? This is why. Because it is an abduction story, and you have to give the abducted character time to fall in love with said monster, before they have sex, in order to keep it from being a story about rape. Keep it classy, keep it fun. Fun is what readers want.

You will rarely see the abducted character actually being hurt, abused, or raped in Monster Porn. The theme is more "Seduced by a Savage Beast" than "Raped and Abused". That's important, because your readers are going to know the difference. Even in stories where the girl is kidnapped and bred by every member of the monster's clan, the reader gets inside her head and knows she's enjoying it and can't wait for her half-breed baby.

Quick-side note: half-breed babies is a common theme in Monster Porn. The slave getting rewarded with having a baby is often the high point of these stories. Some of the best sellers in Monster Porn are the "Cinderella" stories, where instead of poor girl getting the prince, infertile girl, gets the baby she always wanted.

There is a large focus in many of the top selling Monster Porn stories on babies and breeding. Not uncommon theme for girl to start the story frustrated at seeing her friends with babies and she doesn't have one too, then end happy ever after with her monster mate and his baby. This is ESPECIALLY common in Dino Porn, human girls having reptilian babies with dinosaur daddies, and Alien Abduction Porn or Tentacle Porn.

It seems, if you were to believe the best sellers in Monster Porn, that all aliens are male and desperately seeking to give human women lots of babies.

Do remember that while Monster Porn is seen as a type of DubCon (dubious consent) Rape Fantasy, that actual rape is extremely rare in Monster Porn stories. The sex is often forced, but at the same time, and a bystander would assume it is rape, but the reader is seeing inside the victim's head and knows they want the sex. You do have to be careful here. The less Erotica the story is, the closer to actual rape the story can be, but if your story is Erotica and contains rape (or hints of rape) Amazon will ban it (no adult filter it), so tread lightly with including rape scenes of rape-like scenes in your Erotica.

The basic formula goes like this:

In the Beginning: Act One: Sad lonely girl, sees her friends with lovers, boyfriends, husbands, and babies, and becomes horribly depressed. Life has been one heartache after another for her. She's depressed and thinking life is Hell and not worth living anymore.

Middle of Act One: More stuff goes wrong. She's very frustrated with her life and wished for something better. In Goblin King stories she'll make the wish out loud calling on the Goblin King to come take her away; in Angel stories she'll pray for help and he'll be the angel who was to deliver her prayer to God; etc. She's crying out for help, and often, somehow the monster hears her.

At the end of the beginning: Major turning point: BOOM! Something happens. She fights with friend and runs out crying or something to that effect.Girl goes somewhere or does something, that results in her being in the right place at the right time to meet the monster. In BigFoot stories, she goes camping, hiking, or takes a walk in the woods; in Alien stories, she's alone at night; in Vampire stories she's walking in a ark alleyway; in Ghost stories she's taking a dare to spend the night in a haunted house; etc. Somehow she ends up in the place the monster hangs out and she's alone, and upset, so not paying attention to her surroundings.

Start of Second Act: Girls is abducted/captured by monster, in whatever manner is appropriate for the monster in question. For example, Bigfoot may grab her and run into the woods; a Harpy, Griffon, or Birdman, may grab her and fly up to his nest at the top of a mountain cliff with her; a Merman will pull her down under the lake/swamp/ocean/etc; Aliens have tractor beams to float her to his ship; Faeries, RedCaps, and Leprechauns pull her through another dimension into the Realm of Fae; Elven wizards hypnotize her and carry her off to his wizard's tower in an enchanted forest; etc. She's fighting, she's scared, and she's absolutely helpless to escape. Either he's bigger and stronger or he's done something magical to paralyze her, etc.

Middle of Second Act: she's in monster's lair, cave, house, ship, nest, tower, forest, den, castle, whatever. She tries to escape. she's terrified and wants to go home, but she's trapped. She feels like a prisoner. There is no way out, no matter what she does. In her attempts to escape, she explores her new surroundings and gets familiar with them. Slowly she starts to find, that, hey this place isn't so bad, I could actually enjoy living here.

End of Act Two: Now that she's calm and relaxed about her surrounding, she starts paying closer attention to the monster and realizes, he's not trying to hurt her. He's just as sad and lonely as she was. He too was looking for someone to love, just like she was. She starts to feel sympathy and pity for the monster and starts taking care of him.

Beginning of Act Three: Something happens and before she knows it, monster is fucking the hell out of her. It's close to being a rape scene, because the sex is pulled on her unexpectedly. Sex was the last thing she expected the monster to be wanting. Alternatively, if you are writing a tamer story, the monster starts fondling and seducing her. Either way, she's mentally struggling here: on one hand she doesn't want to be in a relationship with the monster, but on the other hand she finds him so damned hot and sexy, she just can't stop wanting him to fuck her.

Middle of Act Three: Sex has created tension. She's both excited and embarrassed and not sure if she loves him or is just horny. Lots of inner turmoil going on here as she tries to decide what to do next. Inner monologue time.

End of Act Three: BOOM! Something, big, bad, and scary happens, to force her into action. Monster gets hurt, captured, threatened, etc: Hunters shoot Bigfoot, scientists capture alien and plan to direct him, slayer is about the stake vampire, etc. Monster's life is now in danger, someone has come to her rescue, she is free to leave. She can go home at last. Her first instinct is to get out of there and run for home. She runs for her life while her rescuer battles the monster.

Beginning of Final Act, Act four: She may or may not have left. If she got home, she immediately regrets leaving and heads back. If she tries to run and doesn't get very far, it's because she looked back and saw Monster pleading for her help. For whatever reason, she suddenly realizes that she is in love with the monster and can't leave him to the fate of the big bad meanie. Girl goes back to rescue the monster (In longer novellas or novels, this could result in an additional Three Acts of story, where she has to go through a lot of roadblocks to get back to her monster and rescue him.) Big, bad is somehow defeated.

Middle of Act Four: Girl and monster are together again. Now it's time for non-reluctant sex. Put that scene in here.

End of Story: Story closes with girl looking back on life, and realizing all the heartache of before, was just the steps she had to take to find the true joy and happiness of having someone who loves her. Had the bad things not happened in her life, she never would have found her monster lover. If this is a stand alone, it'll end with her discovering she's pregnant and planning on living happily ever after with her new monster huby. If it is a serial, it'll hint to the fact there is more to come with some sort of cliffhanger.

Sales wise I'm writing in a little teeny small niche, inside of short story writing which is in itself a small niche. So, I'm probably not the best person to look to for sales info, because I don't fall neatly into something the general reader is going to buy and read.

If you want to make a million dollars by writing for kindle, a big thing you have to factor in is genre. Genre is the reason I am NOT making millions on Kindle. The top money making genres are: 

  • Contemporary Romance
  • Action/Thriller
  • Murder Mystery: Cozy

Genres that are hit or miss and may or may not become big sellers include:

  • Erotic Romance
  • Erotica
  • BDSM
  • Fantasy
  • Science Fiction
  • YA (Young adult)
  • Novella serial pulp fiction
  • Murder Mystery: Hard Boiled
  • Paranormal Romance
  • Historical Romance
  • Regency Romance
  • Monster Erotica

Genres to avoid if you dream of being a millionaire are:

  • Horror
  • Dark Fantasy
  • Bizarro
  • Short Stories
  • Poetry
  • Middle Grade Fiction
  • Gay Literature
  • Yaoi
  • Lesbian Literature
  • Yuri
  • FemDom 
  • Westerns
  • Monster Porn

Number one rule to making a million dollars with writing: write Romance, the steamier the better, get it as close to Erotica as possible. Why? Because 40% of all genre fiction sales are high heat level Romance novels. Note, I said novels, not novellas or short stories.

Why am I not a millionaire?

Simple. I don't write any of the top selling genres.

I write what is known as “Absurdist Fiction” also known as “Theatre of the Absurd”, and sometimes called “Strange Tales”, “Weird Fiction”, or simply “Bizzaro”.

And A LOT of readers have no clue what that is and when they read one of my stories for the first time they go: “What the hell? Seriously. What the hell did I just read? I'm confused, was there supposed to be a point to this?"

I'll be like.

Uhm... no.

It's Bizarro, it doesn't even have a plot, let alone a point! LOL!

Absurdist fiction rose up in the 1950s. It is based off taking Gothic Horror and combining it with Classic Science Fiction. Bela Lugosi's “vampires from outer space” movies made in his later years are typically thought of as the first Absurdist stories told. Bela Lugosi’s Plan 9 From Outer Space aka Grave Robbers from Outer Space is considered to be the standard by which all Absurdist Fiction is based. (thus why all the my stories include alien vampires from outer space! LOL! I'm insanely in love with Bela Lugosi's vampires from space movies.) If you are unfamiliar with this story, it is basically Humans of the future are destroying themselves with a nuclear war which threatens to wipe out the entire universe, so Vampires from outer space lead by Dracula/Bela Lugosi (who is an alien), invade Earth to save the universe and destroy the human race by turning them into Zombies. It has been awarded “The Worst Movie Of All Time” and “The Golden Turkey” awards for being the most ridiculous B-Movie ever filmed. Absurdist fiction is rated, based on how much it compares with the ridiculousness of this movie, which was the inspiration for the entire genre.

What is Absurdist Fiction? It is a blend of Horror, Science Fiction, Satire, Dark Humor, Nonsense, and Purposelessness combined as a way to observe character reactions to being placed in absurd, irrational, and fantastical situations not likely to occur in real life. Absurdist Fiction is characterized by it’s complete and total lack of plot structure 

A prime example of Absurdism is The Twighlight Zone, where things happen for no reason and Humans are forced to deal with it, but the story ends without issues being resolved or problems being solved and viewers are left to wonder what the hell just happened?

Yes, I know I'm writing in a very small niche. Yes, I know this style writing is a niche so small that I can count every author in the genre on one hand. Yes, I know there is no demand for what I write. I know my work does not get mainstream attention and that the general public will look at it and go "What the hell?"

Yes, I know all this... but you know what? I don't care. I'm not trying to be a best seller. I'm not trying to be a household name. I'm not trying to become rich. I absolutely love 1950s tongue in cheek, mad capped, non-scientifically plausible, junk food pulp science fiction. I love the overblown, pumped up, super illogical 1980s Saturday morning cartoons. I’m addicted to Vincent price, Bela Lugosi, Liberace, Godzilla, Star Trek (OTS), Dr. Who, and all those weird B-Movies with giant bugs from Mars, 50-foot cave girls, killer shrews, and most especially the vampires from outer space. These are my influences. The things which inspire me to write. 

I love pulp fiction and serials. It's just my thing that I enjoy. I think it's always funny when people say serials have to have cliffhangers and say they don't write serials because they can't write cliffhangers. Most people claim silent serials created cliffhangers, too, and that's not true either. Most people seem to not realize that the silent movie serials that supposedly invented the cliffhangers, didn't even use them! Cliffhangers didn't even show up until serial movies in the 40s and 50s.) Most folks do seem to think "silent" when they think serial. The term "cliffhanger" was first used in 1939. It comes from Zorro's Fighting Legion. Nearly every episode in the series ended with Zorro hanging off a cliff about to fall to his doom. It was the first serial to use this and it was also one of the last of the "classic serials" to be filmed. AND it wasn't silent either. This is what lead to the rise of "cliffhangers" in the 1940s.

I love serials, with or without cliffhangers. They can be good both ways. The thing I don't like, however is when an author claims they are writing a serial and it ends after 3 or 5 stories, and it was obviously just a novel they cut up. That annoys me. Serials traditionally have 10, 12, or more chapters/ episodes. And if you go the to Library of Congress website (who regulates the proper use of serials, which MUST be registered as a serial with them and they assign it a serial number) they claim it's not a serial if it doesn't have at least one monthly release for a minimum of 3 years. That means if it has fewer then 36 volumes, it's not a serial, and can not qualify to be sold as a serial, because you can't sell serials without a serial number (similar to an ISBN) being put on it.

But back to cliffhangers. I find that too many authors are thinking that cliffhangers have to be bold and dramatic, when if they were to look at the classic cliffhangers of old pulp fiction, they were not dramatic at all. Not usually. For example, the villain would be defeated, the orphans found good homes with sweet loving families, the stolen bank money returned to its rightful owner, rewards given for the villain's capture, and as the hero kicked back to relax, a farm hand would run in and say the cattle had escaped, one of the orphans would mention that he had a friend who had disappeared during an Indian raid, or a letter would arrive from a long lost uncle or a train would pull up at the station and some new villain would step out. These are "happy for now" endings that do not create urgency but hinted that another adventure might be coming next week.

This is how serials like Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, and Lone Ranger lasted and lasted and lasted... they just went on and on, but they never really continued, each one ended, so the serial could have been canceled at any point and not have to explain itself. It's also how comic books like Superman and BatMan stuck around so long. (They did not start continuing until the 1970s). And it was the reason shows like I Love Lucy, Bonanza, Little House on the Prairie, The Twilight Zone, and X-Files gained their fame and kept on going for a decade or more each. Each was a series, but you didn't have to watch each episode, like a Soap Opera, because each story could stand on it's own 2 feet without being connected to any other. This is why book series like Nancy Drew, Hardy Boy, Bailey School Kids, and Choose your Own Adventures became such big hits: you could read any story in the set, in any order.

Personally I prefer this type of serial, both to read and to write. I don't like having to chase down each issue/ chapter/ episode. If I am REQUIRED to read 1, 2, 3, 4, etc in order, I am less likely to start reading the series. Sure once I start reading, if I like it, I'll read them all, but you got to hook me enough to get my started if I can't just read each story on it's own in any order.

That's actually an issue for some readers who'll ask me "So what order do I read this in?" And I'll go "I don't know, I didn't write them in order, and they don't continue. They are just the continuing adventures of the characters."

But then I don't stick with any one genre either.

I'm the odd one out. I always am. I sail in the better safe than sorry boat along side of the keep'em guessing boat.

Often, my covers, my titles, my series titles, my sub-titles, even my blurbs, don't even sneak a hint to what genre they are.

Of course I get way fewer sales than most folks around most writing forums report on their more smexy covers and titles (which is why I have so many titles on Amazon: 170+ across all pen names).

I do often wonder about the incomes you see authors boasting of on places like KBoards Writer's Cafe. There is one author there who claim he earns $300k a month writing Erotica (funny, that's the same claim made in one of those scam books on Amazon) and yet, in reviewing Amazon's own tax release records, there is no Erotica author making $300k a year, let alone a month. In fact, they only have ONE Erotica author listed with an income EVEN CLOSE to that, and that's Virginia Wade, who Amazon reports earns just under $300k a year.

Several Kboards Erotica authors here, frequently, daily, brag of $14k a week or $140k a month, and yet, not one of them is on Amazon's tax record list.

So, there seems to be a lots of lying going on over at Kboards where these Erotica authors are doing a lot of "Look at me! Look at how much money I make!"

But, like I said, it's really easy to cross reference their pen names to Amazon's IRS tax public records release which lists on it authors and incomes. No one published on Kindle is making $140k a month, at least not according to Amazon, and you'd think they would know, seeing how they are the ones paying said authors.

I do not understand the point. Why are these authors running all over this forum yping up how much money they make, when it's easy to prove they are not making anything even close to what they are claiming? 

It baffles me.

I can only assume they are doing it as some marketing ploy, to get people to buy their books under the false impression that so many others have bought it they should too?

I don't know.

Seems like ever since D.D. started that "I make $14k a Week Selling Erotica Shorts" thread, that the environment here has slowly devolved into a competition of who can impress who most with the highest income. 

The numbers they are quoting are getting ludicrously higher and higher with each new post.

Their screenshots of their earnings are so obviously Photoshopped, it's sad they think we can't tell. You now, we who make book covers for a living and so can tell shoddy Photoshop work a mile away.

Do they really think they are fooling anyone?

It's so easy to look up Amazons public release of their ta records. All the authors' names are right there, their income right beside their names.

It's sad to see so many hundreds of them showing up of late. Don't know why Kboards is so suddenly flooded with them. And all of them claiming to write Erotica, yet, none of them have anything but PLR scamletes on weightloss and power of posative thing. 

Weird.

But, that's getting off topic. Where were we?

Oh, yes. Book covers.

Making book covers and not getting sent to the Adult Dungeon for it. 

Here, here's why the books I write don't get dungeoned for cover art...

For example the covers that are seen here: 

A painting of a unicorn; long, long, long title that in no way says Erotica, no sub-title at all, and the series title is the main character's name. It's gay Monster Porn (my Unicorn Porn series). 

Not sure why I do it (I don't plan it that way, it just happens) but the longer the word count of a story, the less likely it is to have smexy covers and longer/ tamer titles.

My short 5k to 12k Monster Porn has clearly Erotica titles (Captured By Yeti, Taken By Tentacles, Bred By the Sun God, Cuckolded By Bigfoot, etc, etc, etc) and the covers usually feature a girl in a bikini or bra & panties.

While my Monster Porn novellas (20k to 30k) have titles like: The Night of the Screaming Unicorn, The Evocation of the Thirteen Wraiths of Torture,The Obsidian Idol of The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley, The Vampire Leprechaun of Fire Mountain, etc, etc, etc, while showing pictures of unicorns, pirate ships, and wizard's towers, and are not listed in either Erotica or Romance categories, but in the Dark Fantasy and Epic Fantasy categories instead.

***(EDITED TO ADD - As of January 2016 - The Night of the Screaming Unicorn has been re-written, expanded, and is now a 300 page epic length novel instead of a 30 page short story... it also now contains a sex scene)***

I write very genre-based Monster Porn, so I tend to follow the trends of the genre rather than the sexiness. Thus why the D&D style wizard questing Fantasy Unicorn Porn, receives Fantasy titles and covers. Likewise my Sci-Fi Erotica and Erotic Romance Sci-Fi have Sci-Fi titles and covers, while my Erotic Horror has Horror titles and covers and my Steampunks have Steampunk titles and covers and my Westerns has Western/ Cowboy titles and covers.

I actually rarely put my titles in Erotica or Romance>Erotica. Almost all of my Monster Porn titles are in Fantasy, Science Fiction, or Horror. But I don't write standard contemporary human on human Erotica, my stories have big plots with their small sex, and character's emotions and reactions to sex play a bigger roll to the story then the sex itself. It's very clearly not Erotica. I do not write stories that just jump into bed on page one and end when the sex does. The point of the story is never to get the characters having sex. Sex just happens along the way. Other stuff happens before the sex starts and more stuff happens after the sex is over. 

I don't feel that any of my stories truly qualify to be placed in the Erotica category, due to their not being just non-stop sex beginning to end. That combined with the genre heavy plots and genre heavy settings, is why I describe my work as "Horror", "Fantasy", or "Sci-Fi", instead of calling it either "Erotica" or "Erotic Romance".

That said I do have to be careful, because my stuff is often seen by readers as "too erotic" to be listed in Horror, Fantasy, or Sci-Fi, so I have to put warnings in the blurb stating that "This story contains graphic sex scenes and is intended for mature readers 18 or older only."

On the other hand, were I to put these same stories in Erotica, they'd end up with complaints to having "too much plot" to be Erotica.

I discovered I get fewer complaints of "too much sex in my Horror/ Fantasy/ Sci-Fi" then I do "too much Horror/ Fantasy/ Sci-Fi in my sex", so my stuff does better review-wise when I don't put it in Erotica.

*shrug*

But yeah, so that's why you see me NOT using Erotica specific cover art and NOT using erotic sounding titles, but instead matching my titles and covers to the genres (Horror, Sci-Fi, Fantasy) because there just isn't enough sex to make the books Erotica.

So, outside of my Monster porn with it's Captured/ Taken/ Bred/ Cuckolded titles and bikini babe covers, you'd never know the rest of my Erotica and ERoms were erotic, if you didn't read the blurb and see the mature content warning, because nothing about the covers or titles really says "Erotica" to the readers (or to Amazon).

I wouldn't be able to do this if I was writing more standard contemporary, every day setting human on human sex. Elf on Unicorn sex in the castle ruined between a battle with Orcs can go in Fantasy. Ghost on Human sex in a haunted house, while a serial killer is on the lose can go in Horror. Squid-headed tentacle men from Neptune on abducted human can go in Sci-Fi. Genre readers don't mind sex in their genre, but I can't say the same thing for Erotica readers who don't like genres in their sex.

I think in the end it's all about target audience. Standard Erotica readers are not my target audience. Fantasy, Horror, and Sci-Fi readers who want sex on the side, are my target audience. Erotica readers want the smexy covers and smexy titles. Fantasy readers want swords and wizards on their covers and long Gary Gygax style magical titles. Know your target reader and give them what they want. Readers who want sex with wizards, look for them in Fantasy not Erotica. I go where my readers are and match my covers and titles to my reader's expectations. 

The short of it is I'm a Dungeon Master who rewrites my campaigns into quasi-Erotic tales. I cater to RPG gamer geeks not every day Romance and Erotica readers. So I tailor my books, titles, and covers to the audience my books are meant for.


[quote author=NAME REMOVED FOR BOOK PUBLICATION EDITION]Are your shorts just eBooks do you do print? Do you make any print books for shorts?[/quote]


Novels seem to go:

  • Introduce the main character.
  • Things are good!
  • Introduce the villain.
  • Things are bad.
  • Introduce the hot guy MC will fall in love with.
  • Time for info dump and scenery angst.
  • Things are good again!
  • Introduce lots of minor characters who could easily be removed and not change the story.
  • Angst, angst, angst.
  • Look at all that scenery.
  • Things are not so good today.
  • Things are better.
  • Nope, things are worse.
  • Wait... much worse.
  • Yippie! Things are great again.
  • Wait, did the villain just run by? I don't know. Let's describe the scenery for a few more pages first.
  • Things a very bad.
  • MC and hot guy meet.
  • Things are better than ever.
  • Bad guy throws a monkey wrench in the mix.
  • Things are bad.
  • Thing are badder.
  • Things are very bad.
  • Things a very, very, bad.
  • Let's angst over the scenery some more.
  • Things are good, but I'm worried bad things are coming.
  • OMG! How did I not see that coming? Things are terrible!
  • Things are worst!
  • Angst.
  • Scenery.
  • Angst.
  • Scenery.
  • Oh wait... forget we were supposed to be telling a story about a character... who were they again?
  • Oh look more scenery.
  • It can't possible get worse!
  • OMG! It did!
  • BOOM! Something big happened.
  • Everything is all better now.
  • Let's tie up loose ends.
  • Happy ever after.
  • Drift off into sunset.
  • The End

I find it difficult to read novels because most could easily delete two or three hundred pages of scenery descriptions and suffer no ill effects.

Novellas kind of go: 

  • Things are bad.
  • Things a very bad.
  • Things a very, very, bad.
  • Things are terrible!
  • Things are worst!
  • It can't possible get worse!
  • OMG! It did!
  • BOOM! 
  • Something big happened.
  • The End

Novellas may or may not introduce the character, the character may or may not have a side kick, there may or may not be a bad guy, the character likely is already in deep doo-doo at the start of the story, so no good times rolling along.

In a novel the reader starts out with the character BEFORE the crisis occurred, sees the crisis occur, watching the character go through the whole denial, I don't want to be a hero, oh well I guess I better act, OMG now I have to act....whereas the novella starts off running with the character already passed the build up and running full force into the meat of the plot.

In the novel the reader sees all sides of the event, the build up leading to it, the event itself, and then the down time after it.

In the novella the event itself is the focus, so there is not lead up to it and no down time after. No riding off into the sunset, etc.

Novels commonly have happy endings. Novellas may or may not have happy endings and often leave the reader with a Twilight Zone ending of "What the hell? Was that the end? But..." Lack of a "true ending" is a common complaint you see reviewers writing on many novellas, but that's because those reviewers are used to reading novels and don't realize that novellas don't have the same structure as novels."

Oh...Twilight Zone episodes, btw, were all based off of novellas that were written in pulp fiction magazines during the 1930s to 1950s, many of them came from Weird Tales (a popular magazine at the time). Likewise Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Thriller, Tales From the Dark Side, and Tales From the Crypt, were all based off various novellas written between the 1930s - 1960s. Watching those TV shows is a good way to get a feel for how classic novellas and pulps were written, because most of those TV show episodes are word for word the same as the original novellas (I know because I hunted them all down to read them and compare them to each episode).

Also the novel focuses more on little details, and lots of senses, lots of emotions, lots of action, lots of characters, lots of narration, lots of details filling up a great big picture, whereas the novella focuses more on just one quick slice of the picture and puts a very narrow focus on the deep inner emotions of just the one character in the heat of the story.

Think of a novel as you standing in the museum looking at all the paintings in the room, whereas the novellas is you with a magnifying glass looking just at one tiny detail of just one painting.

A novel is to a novella as the Hubble telescope is to a macro-zoom lens.

This is why novels often do better as stand-alones or short run series, whereas novellas often do better as a long running series or a serial. The novel focuses on everything all at once, while the novella just looks at one part of a single character's life.

Or at least that's what I've seen as an avid reader of novellas.

I've always been naturally attracted to short stories, both as a reader and a writer. Never had much interest in reading novels, I enjoy them when I do read them, but I enjoy shorts, much, much more.

I remember, early on in my writing career, I was writing shorts and novellas and trying to get them published, and I'd have one editor after another telling me the same thing: "Real writers, write novels, no one will take you seriously if you write short stories, you have to write novels, blah, blah, blah"

Well, as a teenager just starting out, the last thing you want to hear is that you should give up on your dreams because your dreams aren't good enough, but that's what I was getting up one side and down the other. I ended up wasting a large amount of years trying to write to the 120k word count requirements of the big house publishers and self-pubbing shorts on the side.

I was about 30, 31 when I finally got a novel published and the feedback I got from my fans was an eye opener: they HATED it. (It was an eye opener to discover I had fans too) I got bombarded with emails (not 1 or 2, not dozens, but hundreds of them) from fans wanting to know why I stopped writing short stories, why I switched to novels?

I'd been selling shorts to magazines and self-pubbing little chapbooks and writing for fanzines and fanfic sites and posting on blogs, and over the space of 20+ years I ended up with quite a large and devoted following to my short stories and I never realized it. The whole time I was ignoring my fans and taking advice from big-house editors and trying to focus on novels, when I should have been following my heart from the start and focusing on short stories. But I thought the big house editors knew what they were talking about, so for years I hung on to their advice.

It took finally publishing a novel, for me to realize that their advice wasn't a good fit for me. It took me years to write one novel, while I was putting out dozens of short stories a year. Novel writing was a drudgery that made me dislike writing, while shorts were a joy that made me obsessively write daily.

But than it was my fans who really just laid it out for me, when they pointed out point blank that I really suck at writing novels, and the reason was because my novel lacked the same bursts of exuberance seen in my shorts. There was a drudgery to reading the novel, caused by the drudgery I felt at being forced to write a long novel because some editor said I had too, while my shorts bubbled with a vibrant, flowing joy that was a result of the joy I felt while writing. My emotions really showed through in my written words and readers could tell what it was I liked to write, based on the tone and voice used in the stories.

Today, I go where my heart tells me to go, writing what makes me feel happy to write, and my work has greatly improved as a result of it. I spent way too much time in the early part of my career listening to advice that really wasn't suited to my personal career path.

I always tell myself:

Just because something works for a fellow writer in the same genre (or different genre) doesn't mean it will work for me. 

I live by these words. ^^^

I've seen it happen again and again, where things that work wonders for other don't do a thing for me, and things that other folks said to avoid because they don't work, have been huge successes for me. That's why I read about everyone's results, but then still test it out for myself to see which way the ball rolls for me.

Don't look at what someone else writes and think it's what you HAVE to write. Just write what YOU want to write. That's all that really matters.

Be true to yourself. If you are good at one thing, don't try to force yourself to write something else. I did that for way to many years.

If you are good at 5k stories, than write 5k stories. Get better at. Get great at it. Get it out there and find readers who want 5k stories. Find out what readers of 5k stories want. Write it. Gain a following, cater to that following, because the only opinion that really matters, is not the publishers or other authors, but that of the readers. 

Write what you enjoy. Enjoy what you write. Never feel ashamed of it no matter how long or short it may be.


Serials are not like writing a novel. You can't write chapters of a single story and just toss them out there. Novels released a chapter at a time will get worse reviews then serials do.

Serials are closer to writing a multi-act stage play in short story format. Which is a whole different dog then writing novels.

Think of a serial as a TV show. That's the only way to go and avoid the worst of the neg reviews. Watch: Star Trek, X-Files, Everybody Loves Raymond, The Big Bang Theory, The Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, The Brady Bunch, Days of Our Lives, ER, Adam 12, Columbo, Murder She Wrote, DarkWing Duck, The Smurfs, Scooby Doo, King of Queens, Young and The Restless, or any other weekly TV show...

...write as if you were writing weekly episodes for you favorite TV show. Each book should tell a whole and complete story with a beginning, a middle, and an end. But the entire set as a whole tells the big continuing story of whatever.

Consistency is important! 

In order words develop a beat sheet, set up a formula, and follow it in every episode. There are a lot of beat sheets and writing formulas out there. Google is your friend here. There was however one written SPECIFICALLY for serial pulp fiction: The Lester Dent Formula. It was designed in the 1920s/1930s and has been used by serial writers for decades.

Many of the most successful serial writers (myself included) use the Lester Dent Formula: http://www.paper-dragon.com/1939/dent.html

The original is formatted for a 6k short story, however, I have created charts for other word counts. 

What I do is, I took that formula and I striped it of it's "instructions" than took just the bare skeleton of it to use as the "outline" skeleton on which I build my story.

Once I had the outline I than created a set of new formulas, one for each word count I normal use: a 2k, 3k, 5k, 7.5k, 10k, 13k, 15k, 20k, 30k, and 36k stories.

Here is my altered version of it that I made for my 13k to 15k short novellas/novelettes:

The Lester Dent Pulp Paper Master Fiction Plot - 13,000 to 15,000 word story

Divide the 13,000 to 15,000 word yarn into four 3,250 to 3,750 word parts. 

In each 3,250 to 3,750 word part, put the following:

FIRST 3,250 to 3,750 WORDS 

  • 1--First line, or as near thereto as possible, introduce the hero and swat him with a fistful of trouble. Hint at a mystery, a menace or a problem to be solved--something the hero has to cope with. 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)


  • 2--The hero pitches in to cope with his fistful of trouble. (He tries to fathom the mystery, defeat the menace, or solve the problem.) 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)


  • 3--Introduce ALL the other characters as soon as possible. Bring them on in action. 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)


  • 4--Hero's endeavours land him in an actual physical conflict near the end of the first 3,250 to 3,750 words. 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)


  • 5--Near the end of first 3,250 to 3,750 words, there is a complete surprise twist in the plot development. 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)

SECOND 3,250 to 3,750 WORDS 


  • 1--Shovel more grief onto the hero. 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)


  • 2--Hero, being heroic, struggles, and his struggles lead up to: 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)


  • 3--Another physical conflict. 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)


  • 4--A surprising plot twist to end the 3,250 to 3,750 words. 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)


THIRD 3,250 to 3,750 WORDS 


  • 1--Shovel the grief onto the hero. 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)


  • 2--Hero makes some headway, and corners the villain or somebody in: 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)


  • 3--A physical conflict. 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)


  • 4--A surprising plot twist, in which the hero preferably gets it in the neck bad, to end the 3,250 to 3,750 words. 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)


FOURTH 3,250 to 3,750 WORDS[


  • 1--Shovel the difficulties more thickly upon the hero. 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)


  • 2--Get the hero almost buried in his troubles. (Figuratively, the villain has him prisoner and has him framed for a murder rap; the girl is presumably dead, everything is lost, and the DIFFERENT murder method is about to dispose of the suffering protagonist.) 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)


  • 3--The hero extricates himself using HIS OWN SKILL, training or brawn. 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)


  • 4--The mysteries remaining--one big one held over to this point will help grip interest--are cleared up in course of final conflict as hero takes the situation in hand. 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)


  • 5--Final twist, a big surprise, (This can be the villain turning out to be the unexpected person, having the "Treasure" be a dud, etc.) 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)


  • 6--The snapper, the punch line to end it. 
  • Do this in under 200 words


Grand Total 13,000 to 15,000 words.


---------


If you want to do a 20k novella change the numbers like so:


  • 3,250 to 3,750 WORDS = 5,000 WORDS
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words = Do this in 1,000 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages) = (4 handwritten pages) 


---------


If you want to do a 30k novella change the numbers like so:


  • 3,250 to 3,750 WORDS = 7,500 WORDS
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words = Do this in 1,500 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages) = (6 handwritten pages) 


---------

You can alter this to match any word count you want no matter how long or short.

He designed this to be used for Action, Suspense, Horror, Westerns, and Murder Mysteries, but you can alter it for any genre. To turn it into Romance/Erotica, just change the trouble points to sexual tension points, plot twist points can be changed to sex scenes, etc.

I use it for Horror, Science Fiction, Romance, Adventure, SteamPunk, Space Opera, Fantasy, Erotica, and others, nearly 30 genres and sub-genres in all. I've never found a genre I couldn't use this for.

Novellas work best if you limit them to 3 characters: The hero, the heroine/side kick/victim/love interest, and the villain. 4 characters can work, 5 at the most. I find they are best with only 2 or 3 characters.

How I use it is like this:

I take the skeleton/outline, copy it, and paste it into my new file/document/word processor page. Next I follow the instructions for each scene and write as instructed. In other words, where it says:

FIRST 3,250 to 3,750 WORDS 

  • 1--First line, or as near thereto as possible, introduce the hero and swat him with a fistful of trouble. Hint at a mystery, a menace or a problem to be solved--something the hero has to cope with. 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)

I change it to:

ACT ONE: 3,250 to 3,750 WORDS 

Scene 1

And here I type the first 650 words of the story, detailing as instructed: "First line, or as near thereto as possible, introduce the hero and swat him with a fistful of trouble. Hint at a mystery, a menace or a problem to be solved--something the hero has to cope with." When I reach about 650 words (could be short as 500 or as much as 800) I end the scene and move of to:

  • 2--The hero pitches in to cope with his fistful of trouble. (He tries to fathom the mystery, defeat the menace, or solve the problem.) 
  • Do this in 650 to 750 words 
  • (3 handwritten pages)

I change it to:

Scene 2

And here I type the next 650 words of the story, detailing as instructed: "The hero pitches in to cope with his fistful of trouble. (He tries to fathom the mystery, defeat the menace, or solve the problem.)"When I reach about 650 words (could be short as 500 or as much as 800) I end the scene and move of to the third section, and so on and so forth until I reach the end of the skeleton/outline, at which point I have reached the end of the story and stuck with 13k to 15k words.


-------


This is the primary secret to my being able to consistently put out a new story of about 13k words each and every week. Using a beat sheet like this allows me to streamline my production time.

The best thing is, with only minor tweaks, this formula works for EVERY genre, and ANY word count from flash fiction to epic novels.

My stories are also VERY character driven, low on plot, high on dialogue (as in 70% dialogue). Usually there is just one thing going on; like the one I just published last week: 

The main character was caught in a thunder storm and sought shelter in an inn, but he kept getting the feeling something was wrong, so he tried to leave and suddenly the whole town vanished and he realized he'd walked into a glamor/illusion trap set by an evil flesh eating-Faerie. The entire story takes place in the space of about 12 hours and is largely a verbal battle of wits as he tries to talk the Fae out of eating him long enough to escape the Faerie's trap. The whole point of the plot is for the MC to try to outwit the Fae. There is absolutely no other plot point to the story. [i](It's a volume from a 130 episode Gay Sword & Sorcery Black Comedy Bizarro serial, is a 32k novella and sold 114 copies first day of it's release, in case you was wonder what the sales are like for this serial in particular).[/i]

This is part of a long running series, about the MC who is traveling across the world, and each story is a random encounter he has with various Fantasy creatures. Each story takes place in the space only a few hours, rarely more than a day passes in each story, and rarely are there ever more than 5 character, usually there are 3 characters. There's never much action (I'm not an action kind of writer) and most of the stories focus on emotional and feelings and thus characters do a LOT of talking/dialogue.

There is almost no descriptions, very little narration, and not much action (though there are big sex scenes, that are almost Erotica). Most readers say my style is "slower" and more "literary" than other writers, but this slow literary style with lots of dialogue and character driven emotional works very well for the short 5k to 30k stories/novelettes/novellas I write.

My primary genres are Bizarro (in Sci-Fi, Horror, and Fantasy), Weird Horror, Erotic Horror, and Monster Porn, with about 2/3s of it featuring predominantly gay and often tranny characters. Along the sides I have a few Westerns, Romance, and other assorted 1-shots of various sub-genres I did "just to try". 

Two things to note in this is that regardless of genre, the writing style always falls under "Literary" (Literary Bizarro, Literary Erotica, Literary Horror, etc) and nothing to date has been longer then 36k words with the bulk of it being in the 5k to 15k range. So mostly short stories and mostly in small-niche genres that never sell much to begin with. I am currently focusing on longer works then I did in the past because longer works sell better then shorter works. So my older works tend to be mostly 5k to 15k, while my newer works are mostly 15k to 30k. I have more shorter titles simple because I've been writing for 38 years and only just switched to longer works in 2013.

Oh and by "Literary" I mean, it's really wordy (just like my forum posts - EXACTLY like my forum posts in fact). And there is ALMOST NO PLOT in any story I write. Every story is purely character driven, with the stories being 75% to 100% dialogue. (Yes 100% dialogue does mean, total 100% first person monologue with no descriptions or tags AT ALL). You are rarely going to see descriptions in anything I write, and in most cases, name/said/dialogue tags are only added in as an after thought in a 2nd edition if reader reviews complained it was too confusing without them. I write in the exact same style as Ernest Hemingway "Hills Like white Elephants" a story about 2 characters sitting in a bar talking, the entire story taking place in the space of 15 minutes doing nothing but following their conversation. Only difference is in my books the characters are Elves and Faeries yapping in taverns instead of humans yapping in bars, otherwise no difference. It ends up reading very much like a "slice of life vignette" where you are looking into just a few minutes of a single day of a characters life, and reading their inner thoughts and emotions, rather then following any actual plot.THAT is what I mean, when I say my stories are "Literary". 

[i](I explain because there are many views on what is and is not Literary and 99% of my readers/reviews describe my books as "Literary" and point specifically to "Hills Like White Elephants". I actually had never read the story until I had had several reviews telling me my work was like it, so I went to read it to find out what it was and, yep, they are right. My stories ARE just like "Hills Like White Elephants". It was uncanny!)[/i]

Also there is notable difference in my prices from other authors' prices, in that I tend to price QUITE A BIT higher then others, and I can do that because of the m/m and m/m2f primary main characters/couples. If you were to take the same genres I write and put m/f or f/f couples in them, you'd see vastly lower prices. 

So, basically I'm writing in an uncommon style, in a very short word count, in a tiny niche bizarre genre, with non-mainstream (gay, usually transvestite, often drag queen) characters. So keep that in mind when considering any advice I say, because the stuff that works for me was designed/tailored very specifically to the genres/style I write and may or may not work in other genres. And always remember my advice is not so much actual advice but rather - me simply telling you what I've tried that worked for me personally and it may not work for you!

I guess my writing style being more slow and laid back, works good for the shorter tales I write. I imagine my slow style wouldn't work too well in novels, I'd probably put the readers to sleep! LOL! :P

Also...I am NOT afraid to write anything. If a reader requests you to write a g-string teddy bear end of the world apocalypse story staring a drag queen main character (which happened to me two weeks ago) I WRITE THE FREAKING THING! 

I've been on fanfic .net for years. I don't remember when I joined, it was like maybe 1997? I gained a lot of my fans that way. And I got in the habit of taking requests. Someone would say: [i]"Hey, I like that Sesshomaru story you wrote. I loved that DarkWing Duck story too. And that Prof Snape one, loved it! You don't think you could write a cross over story with all 3 of them at once could you?" [/i] I was like...hmmm SessyxDrakexSnape fanfiction, I wonder what that's be like? And then I'd write it. Reply back "Hey, you remember that SessyxDrakexSnape fanfic you requested - here it is! Enjoy!"

A lot of my fans started going to Seventh Sanctum Http://www.seventhsanctum.com and Chaotic Shiny http://www.chaotic shiny.com, finding the craziest random generator results they could find, and then send them to me with "Can you write this character, with this plot, and this challenge, and throw in InuYasha and Koga?" I'd look at what they sent me and went...uhm...okay...that's weird. A few days later, I was... "Well, here it is, I don't want it is, but I wrote it for you anyways! Enjoy!"

That's how I eded up creating The Bizarro Story Plot Generator: nhttps://www.eelkat.com/RandomGeneratorsWritingPromptsBizarro.html (yes, I am a geek who knows how to write java code!) which gives me stuff like this:

  • [quote]Write for at least 750 words about a sickly monster, a bejeweled vampire, a violin, a good looking tapestry of a witch, a tiger, a faerie trap in which there is no escape, and a lilac bush.
  • Write for at least 350 words about a glorious kelpie, a zebra striped thief, a wooden box, a winter banker, a jasper mask, a brain sucking elf who holds a dark secret, and a shape shifting trickster.
  • Write for at least 350 words about a sweet hobgoblin, a sour wizard, a happy thought, a spring cleaning preacher, a flapper, a knife, and a wounded enemy.
  • Write for at least 250 words about a foul bigfoot, a glow in the dark kelpie, a strawberry, a blood sucking dancing dodos, a birthday party, a knife, and a leg that is broken.
  • Write for at least 350 words about a foul fluffy dog faerie, a exotic flesh warper, a map with a mind of its own, a song writing kobold, a vulture, a tattoo in the wrong place, and a feather bed.
  • Write for at least 250 words about a sweet mermaid, a kaleidoscopic bridge troll, a dead tree, a river dwelling slave, a serial killing innocent, a cursed necklace, and a sinking boat.
  • Write for at least 400 words about a walking ogre, a haunted orc, a enchanted forest, a lustful Horror, a haunted castle, a sorcerer who holds a dark secret, and a wizard gone rouge.
  • Write for at least 250 words about a destructive sequined frost giant, a creamy sun king, a haunted forest, a bewitching phooka, a bejeweled dagger, a obsidian sword that must be found, and a lake.
  • Write for at least 250 words about a flesh eating crazed chef, a glittering lonely trickster, a bunny, a day dreaming tavern keeper, a wild mushroom, a cake with blue frosting, and a cerulean tigerseye.
  • Write for at least 4 minutes about a eye catching beggar from outer space, a polka dotted colossus, a wounded friend, a spring cleaning tapestry of an wizard, a fantastic box, a pair of parakeets, and a brain sucking leprechaun.
  • Write for at least 350 words about a bleeding flying pig from outer space, a sweet eccentric gigolo, a topaz statue, a nefarious sequined fardarrig, a haunted house, a killer who holds a dark secret, and a secret lover.
  • Write for at least 10 minutes about a frightened wizard, a hunted moon alchemist, a bunny, a ruined fabulous fun, a bewitching toad, a frightened wizard who holds a dark secret, and a black pearl necklace.
  • Write for at least 450 words about a destructive necromancer from outer space, a crystal gigolo, a psychotic alien, a prismatic tapestry of a dove, a elf, a necromancer who holds a dark secret, and a mirror and the people in the room who are not reflecting in it.
  • Write for at least 20 minutes about a glow in the dark lich tourmaline from outer space, a blood thirsty ice faerie, a wooden box, a crystal roane, a hunted wizard, a evil space broccoli, and a bowl of egg. 
  • [/quote]

...I had to highlight that a brain sucking leprechaun - OMG! It has never given me that before...I MUST WRITE a story about a brain sucking leprechaun tonight. YES! I love it. ... and what is it with all the "holds a dark secret" that time around? :o ...

And NOW when readers request stories...they send me results from THAT generator and say "Please, please, please, please, please...I want to read a story about this one..."

That's why this week, so far I have written 3 stories: one about teddy bears in g-string taking over the world, one about a vampire leprechaun, and one one about a necromancer who faints at the sight of blood and sacrifices his lover on an obsidian altar - but blood and all so it kind of doesn't go well you know...

Basically I've stopped writing serious marketable stuff, and am writing weird, bizarre (and oh so fun to write!) absolute insanity at the request of readers from fanfic .net.

This is something VERY common with successful serial writers. They have a close connection to their fans, and the readers become "interactive" in the creation of the story. Readers LOVE this! Readers love it when they write to an author and the author writes back, (not in reviews, though - never comment on reviews, that's a no-no). Readers esp. love it when they contact an author with "Hey, I like character so&so, but he seems wrong somehow, maybe you could give him a pet cat to give him something to care about other then himself." A few weeks later, when the author releases the next volume and so&so now has a cat, the reader is ecstatic and screaming your praises from every social network and street corner. All of a sudden you see a spike in sales. And before long, more requests.

I've gotten requests to write were-goldfish, tooth fairy sex, gay trolls living under purple porches instead of bridges, Monster Porn where the monster is a Green Jelly Cube (see [amazonsearch]Dungeons and Dragons Monster Manual[/amazonsearch] for that one), vampire leprechauns from outer space, a traveling demon possessed shovel that murders people (yes it is TSoD for people who know the reference - been writing that into my stories since 2005!), singing mushrooms, dancing teddy bears, pink penguins, Liberace as a sparkling vampire in a pink sequined tuxedo, and talking bowl of chocolate pudding that refuses to let you eat it...along with the dare to use the phrase "blue box" and "bigger on the inside" in every single story, as well as having character wear long striped scarves that get longer in every scene... 

...and I've decided to take every one of them, are turn it into a single serial with lots of mad capped weirdness that is largely being written at reader requests. And at reader requests already has a mega ton load whopping 130 stories outlines, planned to be released monthly for the next 9 years. This series has been 3 years in the planning, already has fans sewing CosPlay costumes before it's volume even goes live, and as you could imagine I am VERY committed to this thing. Nine years is a LONG time to stay with a single series.

BUT this is a completely custom designed series based totally off reader requests.

Keep your readers happy and give them what they want no matter how insane it is!

If there is one thing I learned in 16 years of retail it's that the customer is always right, and never forget to give them their pickle ( http://www.giveemthepickle.com I took this $895 seminar, applied it to my writing career, I've never regret it. Basically it teaches you - give the customer what they want.) 

I do have a reputation for putting my customers first (heck, I was a door to door salesmen for 16 years - you don't keep a job like that if you aren't good at it!) today my customers are my readers - I give my readers what they ask for. My readers want insanity on the page. Okay. I'll give them insanity on the page. I do not have so much pride that I will not lower myself to writing absolute MikeyD junk food drivel at reader requests. 

This sort of interactive fan based serial doesn't happen over night. Like I said, this is a spin off my TMSeries, which I started in 1978 and am still writing. Some of these fans have been following my work A LONG time.

Fact is though, I'm just good at writing Bizarre Fiction, Gallows Humor, Black Comedy, and Weird Tales - I've done it as a hobby most of my life and have been told by EVERYONE not to make any sort of attempt to publish that sort of thing, because it's not marketable. But it is what I like writing, and it's what my "underground/fanfic" followers like reading. And after last November I have decided that life's too short to waste it writing anything OTHER then the stuff I enjoy writing most of all. And that just happens to be Bizarre Fiction, Gallows Humor, Black Comedy, and Weird Tales, so from here on in, that's what I'm writing.

I've got family, friends, relatives, editors, everybody telling me: "But you can't make money with Bizarre Fiction, Gallows Humor, Black Comedy, and Weird Tales!" Thing is, I've been without money most of my life, and for a brief period I had a lot of money. I've seen both sides of the coin and while money improves lifestyle, it doesn't make you happier and it can't do anything to improve your health or prolong your life. Money doesn't buy either health or happiness, and so writing to make money is no longer important to me. I am now writing the thing I've wanted to write for years and didn't, and I am writing this Quaraun series at a much faster pace then when I was writing for money (130k words written in the past 3 weeks alone), because I do want to get it written down, while I still can.

My health changed a lot November 2013. And I have stopped writing EVERYTHING that I'm not 100% passion about as a result of that and that really is what you are seeing happening right, me crossing things off a list of things to do. 

I'm cutting back on writing anything I don't enjoy 100% and writing less for the market and more just what I want to write. Standard Erotica is still where the money and big sales are, I'm just bored with writing it and have enough money coming in now to stop writing trends and write what I actually prefer to write instead.

Basically I've stopped writing for money and started writing for fun.

The other thing is, I have had a serial I've been wanted to write for 3 years now and it's been sitting on the back burner not being written because it is EXTREME Bizarro, absolute complete total madcap insanity that makes Alice's trip through Wonderland look like an every day shopping trip to WalMart. 

I've been getting slack for this story from EVERYONE for the past 3 years and put off writing it to write "more marketable" stuff instead. Last November my health got REALLY bad...really, really, really, REALLY bad, far worse then what most people online or offline have actually bed told. 

My health is not good and it's getting worse. I basically got hit with a realization, that if I don't write this thing now, I may never do it and I really want to write this thing, so I've pulled up stakes on EVERYTHING and am now throwing everything into writing this one series, letting everything else fall to the wayside.

As of last November, it no longer matters to me, if I kill my career writing this series, it's what I wanted to write, so I'm going to write it.

 Basically I am doing nothing but writing Quaraun now and, once in a while adding to my other serials to finish them up.

Quaraun is, as I said, the series I'm focusing 100% on now. This series is all over the place. Shortest story so far is 7k words, longest so far is 32k. It is a continuing serial, written in a soap opera type style that just keeps going and going and going, each story continuing and no actual end planned for the series at all, so I am able to literally write this thing for the rest of my life - there are 130 volumes/episodes outlined so far. Genre for this thing? OMG I have no idea. I asked my betas, what they thought it was: over all Sword & Sorcery is what it's flying under, but they've also said it is Literary, Horror, Romance, Erotica (sometimes not always), and most definitely Bizarro. So, I've actually called it: Bizarre Erotic Literary Dark Sword & Sorcery with WM/BM Dec/May gay Romantic undertones, with a side note that the main character is a transvestite/drag queen serial killing necromancer. (I can't call it that on Amazon of course) There simply is no classifying this thing, it's hitting every genre at once. Like I said, this is something I have wanted to write for a long time and didn't write because it's weird and insane and doesn't fit into any marketable category at all.



[quote author=NAME REMOVED FOR BOOK PUBLICATION EDITION]You mentioned Pre-written plots somewhere. Where would someone buy or sell something like this? how do you use them?I've never heard of it before. [/quote]



Warriors Forum. As far as I know it's the only place you can buy them. We are not allowed to link to Warrior's forum here on KB, so just Google "warrior's forum pre-written plots", and it'll take you right too them. there are about 250 of them currently available. They typically sell at about 10 for $30 or 5 for $17 depending on who's selling them.

I'm a member of the Warrior's Forum, so, yeah, you know I use 'em! LOL! I got 56 of the pre-written plots from over there.

A pre-written plot is a 1,000 word mini-story, written in short story format, but has no "meat" to it, it's just a bare skeleton. Usually they are made up of ten 100 word paragraphs.

What you do it take the plot, drop it into your file. Use find/replace to change character names. Next you take each of the 10 paragraphs and re-write it into a chapter, of at least 1k words long. When you are done you have a 10k word short story. If you want to write a 100k word novel, you do the same thing, just re-write each paragraph to be 10k words long.

The beauty of it, is you can take 1 plot and use it over and over again, so you can write dozens of stories for each of the plots. 

Buying those packs of pre-written plots is one of the best things I ever did for my writing career.

I use them in conjunction with this beat sheet: http://jamigold.com/2012/11/write-romance-get-your-beat-sheet-here

I start out with a beat sheet, edit it to my intended wordcount (usually 15,000 words) slap it into my new document. Now I know how many words to write for each scene, what to put in each scene, on what pages to introduce characters, love interests, villains, triggering events, story arcs, climax, etc. The is the basic bare bones skeleton on which I write the story. (The is called "Formula writing" and is used by most of Harlequin's romance novel authors, thus how you can guarantee what pages sex scene fall on, what pages crisis happen, etc in a Harlequin book. It is also used by TV Show script writers from pretty much every TV show out there.)

 Now than my story has a skeleton, I give it some muscles to help hold it together. I do that with the help of pre-written plots and random generators.

 Than I grab a pre-written plot and drop it in. 

 I use find/replace to change character names. I use name generators from 7thSanctum http://www.seventhsanctum.com and Chaotic Shiny http://www.chaoticshiny.comto create new character names.

Here are a few of the name generators:

 [b]Dark Elf Name Generator[/b] http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=darkelfnamer

[b]Vampire Name Generator[/b] http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=vampnamer

[b]Modern Name Generator[/b]http://www.chaoticshiny.com/modernnamegen.php

There are about 3 dozen name generators between the two sites.

 Next I use the adventure place generator http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=advname which just now gave me [i]Magic Domain of Shadowed Souls[/i] or the B-Movie title generator http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=bmovie which just gave me [i]Brain of the Beast [/i]to create the title of the book.

 Next I grab a writing exercise (you guys who've been following the daily writing prompts are going to recognize this one!) http://www.chaoticshiny.com/wegen.phpto get me started, I write whatever it tells me to write. Just now it gave me: [i]Write for at least 150 words about a financial difficulty, a song, a violet, and a lawyer.[/i] (Now you know where a lot of my daily writing prompts came from.)

 Next I decide who it is my characters will meet that is going to have a pivotal effect on the outcome of the story by asking the crowd generator: http://www.chaoticshiny.com/crowdgen.php which just now tells me it's going to be [i]The cute, exuberant woman who is fending off a beggar. 

[/i]

Let's give her an attitude towards my characters: http://www.chaoticshiny.com/attitudegen.php [i]Is friendly towards the character, and is open about these feelings about it.[/i]

But what is her true motive? http://www.chaoticshiny.com/motivegen.php [i]This character is motivated by loyalty, twisted wanderlust and misplaced desire to prove them-self. They doubt their own motives.[/i]

As my stories are often D&D styled I next find a tavern for my characters to stop at: http://www.chaoticshiny.com/taverngen.php (this creates a HUGE full page highly detailed description of the tavern, it's workers, it's menu, and all of the patrons your character sees when they walk in)

Next I give my tavern a name: http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=tavernnameI just received: [i]The Charming Hobgoblin[/i]

Than I find out the location of my tavern: http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=advname I just now got: [i]Woodlands of Annihilation[/i]

Then I grab a quest item for my characters to be looking for, thus why they are in the tavern in the first place: http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=questitemIt just gave me: Enchanted Lute of Invocationfor them to find.

And don't forget to use the Meal Generator to have your characters order a meal so they don't gather suspicion from the locals: http://www.chaoticshiny.com/mealgen.php

Looks like tonight one of my characters are going to be ordering: [i]Steamed large thick wheat noodles with wild leek, mocker-nut, albatross, magpie and serpent on a bed of steamed winter melon and huckleberries. Served with bagels with jam and blue cheese.[/i]

While another is having:[i]Baked thick rice noodles with beetroot, artichoke, albatross, sweet pepper and snow-berry on a bed of cooked chrysanthemum leaves, tatsoi and tangerines. Served with mooli pie, bat soup and panettone.[/i]

My characters decide to spend the night here because the Weather Forecast Generator http://www.chaoticshiny.com/forecastgen.php says: [i]Tomorrow there will be lightning storms with a large chance of showers and moderate winds from the northeast. It will likely be drastically hotter than it has been. Local guides' predictions are usually somewhat accurate.[/i]

 My characters spend the night here, and than the Writing Challenge Generator (another you will recognize) http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=writechallenge tells me that: [i]A character borrows money, but the action is misinterpreted. The story must have a goblin at the beginning. The story ends in a living room.During the story, a well-established leader steps down. The story must involve a talisman at the end.[/i]

Once I have that, now I write the story, with no plot, no outline, no problem, just take the things the random generators gave me and see what I end up writing as a result. Keeping in mind that everything I write for some reason ends up being Monster Porn or Vampire Erotica, so it kind of doesn't matter what the generators give me, it's always gonna end up with the tavern turning out being a house of ill repute, run by a Faerie, a Merman, an Elf, a Vampire, or a Brain Sucking Squid and the main character is gonna be in bed with them regardless of anything else.:P

If I feel that is enough I'll stop there with those and start writing. If I feel something is missing, I'll use other generators, depending on what direction I'm planning to take the story. Some other generators I commonly use and may throw into the mix include:

My characters have to watch out because some taverns have secret portals in them: http://www.chaoticshiny.com/portalgen.php [i]This portal appears as an eerie, dripping amber stairway when open, and a shivering, murky gateway when closed. It is hovering between two bridge supports. A high-pitched wailing noise comes from the portal. It smells strongly questionable.[/i]

When I want to add a vampire I look to the vampire generator:http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=vampire Use the drop down menu to select type of vampire desired:

[b]Regular Male:[/b] which just gave me: [i]This bouncy vampire has large gray eyes that are like two windows looking out on an overcast sky. His fine, wavy, brown hair is worn in a style that reminds you of a seashell. He is inhumanly tall and has a plump build. His skin is tan. He has stubby-fingered hands. He can read the minds of people. If attacked with weapons made of gold, he will disintegrate. His diet requires blood of males. His outfits are sexy.[/i]

[b]Regular Female:[/b] which just gave me: [i]This cunning vampiress has hooded eyes the color of varnished wood. Her fine, wavy, brown hair is short and is worn in a severe, utilitarian style. She is short and has a muscular build. Her skin is cream-colored. She can turn into a snake. She will die if bitten by another vampire. Her diet consists of blood, but she can also eat normal food. Her outfits are those of a ranger.[/i]

[b]Anime Male:[/b] which just gave me: [i]This aloof vampire has large jet black eyes. His luxurious, straight, green hair is waist-length and is worn in a dignified style. He is inhumanly tall and has a lean build. His white skin is more like an insect's carapace. He has claw-like hands and feet. His body seems to have more joints than the regular human body. He can turn into a piranha. His diet requires blood of any kind. He feeds not through his mouth, but via a long tongue with a mouth-like end.

[/i]

[b]Anime Female:[/b] which just gave me: [i]This sensitive vampiress has narrow yellow eyes. Her fine, straight, turquoise hair is medium-length and is worn in a simple, precise style. She has a thin build. Her skin is china-white. She has a small mouth. She can turn into a mist. She can enter the dreams of others and control them. She has mild telekinesis. If attacked with weapons made of iron, she will go into a coma. She dresses like a bodyguard.[/i]

[b]Monster Male:[/b] which just gave me: [i]This mistrustful vampire has narrow violet eyes that never blink. His brown hair actually acts as a kind of sensory organ, like a cat's whiskers. He is inhumanly tall and has a masculine build. His skin has an odd red cast to it. He has claw-like hands. His joints seem to bend in ways that human joints don't. He can turn into a dog. He can be killed by destroying his brain. His diet requires blood of females.[/i]

[b]Monster Female:[/b] which just gave me: [i]This mystical female vampire has narrow yellow eyes that can extend on stalks. Her orange hair is really a set of quills that she can use as a weapon. She is inhumanly tall and has a curvy build. Her skin has an odd red cast to it. Her body is rubbery, and able to extend unnaturally. She has wings that are bony and ragged. She can turn into a cloud of dust. If attacked with weapons made of gold, she will be incapacitated. Her diet consists of blood, but she can also eat normal food.

[/i]

When I want to add a non-vampire villain I look to the villain generator:http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=villain Use the drop down menu to select type of villain desired:

[b]Evil Magic User: [/b]which just gave me: [i]This ignorant mage is driven by egotism. He employs elemental magic in his schemes, often magically causing natural disasters to achieve his goals. He can't resist helping people.[/i]

[b]Mad Scientist:[/b] which just gave me: [i]This cheerful, misguided man of science is spurred onward by sadism. He uses cybernetics in his plans, usually selling dangerous medical technology to achieve his goals. He is an outsider.[/i]

[b]Super Villain:[/b] which just gave me: [i]This industrious super-villain has flight powers, and is driven by a need to compensate for personal inadequacies. She is always stealing rare valuables to achieve her goals. She is prone to odd statements.[/i]

And don't forget to give your villain a theme: http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=supervillaintheme [i]The ocean-dwelling inquisitor of magic-users.[/i]

And every villain needs a name like [i]Iceberg Man[/i] or [i]Dark Assassin[/i] or [i]Malachite Eagle[/i] even [i]Violet Spider[/i] you find them here: http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=superheronameorg

And what's a villain without minions? http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=darkminion[i]Bloodstained Spiders Of The Ripping Goddess[/i]

 When I want to add a monster I look to the monster generator:http://www.chaoticshiny.com/monstergen.php which just gave me: [i]This enormous reptilian monster can be found in abandoned ruins. It leaps upon its prey, which includes magical beasts, humans, mundane beasts, and medium-sized creatures. It attacks with rapid blows and draining magic. They travel in bands of 2-19. Rumor holds that their lairs are filled with traps.[/i]

Needs a dragon? http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=dragondesc [i]This dragon has a serpentine body. Its scales are the color of polished bronze. This dragon has elongated, slender limbs with five closely-mounted digits on each foot that end in long, blunt claws. It has wings running from its shoulders to its lower back. This dragon has a mouth that takes up most of its face. It has round nostrils. This dragon has beady eyes that are red. It has small, pointed ears. A series of tentacle-like tendrils sprouts from its chin. A hornlike projection juts straight out between its nostrils.[/i]

When I want to add a zombie I look to the zombie generator: http://www.chaoticshiny.com/zombiegen.phpwhich just gave me: [i]This zombie is not contagious. She is somewhat decayed, and is missing patches of skin and random chunks of flesh. She is very slow, not at all smart, and not very strong. She is wearing tattered clothing. She attacks mostly by clawing victims.[/i]

When I want to add an entire zombie horde at the end of the world I look to the apocalypsegenerator:http://www.chaoticshiny.com/apocgen.php which just gave me: [i]Initial Cause: worldwide economic collapse; Secondary Causes: pollution and natural plague; Threats: carnivorous plants, dangerous storms, slow zombies, and contagious zombies; Survivors: 21.4% of the population[/i]

I love wizards, alchemists, and necromancers (thus why nearly every story I write contains at least 1, often as a primary or main character). Well magic using characters need magic spells: which just gave me:

potions: http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=potiondesc which just gave me: [i]The thick glowing liquid that is sapphire with vermillion flakes. It smells like sugar, but tastes like pineapple. and The moving, oily liquid that is pink in color. It smells and tastes like red pepper.[/i]

more potions: http://www.chaoticshiny.com/potgen.php which just gave me: [i]Fuchsia and a slimy texture, contained in a crystal vial. The potion smells like pine sap and tastes hellish. Side-affects may include a hangover.[/i]

Medications: http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=medicationwhich just gave me: [i]Apextod - small, pentagonal, violet pills.[/i]

poisons: http://www.chaoticshiny.com/poisongen.php which just gave me: [i]This poison causes partial paralysis. It is easy to mix with other substances. Unmixed, it is dark green and smells nice.[/i]

Bizarre Alchemy: http://www.chaoticshiny.com/weird_alchgen.php which just gave me:[i] Garnets + Iron + Magic = Cardboard[/i]

fancy drinks: http://www.chaoticshiny.com/drinkgen.php which just gave me:[i] Deep purple with lots of bubbles and cinnamon on the rim of the glass. The drink smells safe and tastes excellent. It causes mild paranoia.[/i]

Mixed Drink Names:http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=mixeddrink which just gave me: [i]Apricot Peach Shandy[/i] and [i]Blueberry Plum Peanut[/i] and [i]Coconut Castle[/i] and [i]Demonic Knight's Hack[/i] and [i]Godlike Fatal Twister [/i]

spell-books:http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=bookspinner which just gave me:

 [i]A Mage's Catalogue of Necromancy

This book is muddled beyond belief mostly due to it having no kind of organization at all. If, by chance or skill, someone can unriddle the book, that person will find it has a lot useful information. Despite its good traits, the contents are not very original.

Examining the book, one will find: Some notes concentrated in select sections of the book, that have nothing whatsoever to do with the book's contents.[/i]

charms: http://www.chaoticshiny.com/charmgen.php which just gave me: [i]A very large red-violet charm with a spider on the front and the same on the back.[/i]

rituals: http://www.chaoticshiny.com/ritualgen.php which just gave me: [i]To open the way to another plane must consecrate a symbolic object with magic at the feet of an idol at sunrise when the days grow short.[/i]

Dark Rituals: http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=darkritual which just gave me: [i]Bloodstained Ceremony of the Ever-living Angel of Chains[/i]

Spells : http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=spell which just gave me stuff like[i]Dancing Clouds of Lava[/i] and [i]Ritual of Kill Crazed Titan[/i]

The Grimoire of Questionable Spells : http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=jokegrimoire which just gave me: stuff like[i]Invoke Irritation in Lounge Singers[/i] and [i]Protection from Elvis Impersonators[/i]

types of magic: http://www.chaoticshiny.com/magicgen.php which just gave me:[i] This form of magic is taught by many village hedge-witches. Water, defensive spells and creation are its most notable aspects. It uses spirits to channel power. Practitioners suffer from frequent illnesses.[/i]

superstitions: http://www.chaoticshiny.com/superstitiongen.php which just gave me: [i]Spotting a mahogany tree in a grove of willow trees is a sign that soon you will encounter an illness.[/i]

magical candy:http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=candy which just gave me: [i]Dark Wackocremes[/i] and [i]Fudge Fizzy Zappers[/i] and [i]Yummy Fruttiplums[/i]

Magical Components:http://www.chaoticshiny.com/componentgen.php which just gave me: [i]Jackal heart, an intensely smoking constantly shifting colors material, magpie skin, mockingbird feathers, birch shavings, a frothing mint green material and a bubbling deep crimson material which tastes like oranges.[/i]

Animal Companion: http://www.chaoticshiny.com/animalgen.php which just gave me: [i]This irritable, somewhat old mockingbird has pale grey feathers and violet eyes. She is somewhat large and intelligent. She likes music, hiding and smelling things, and hates humidity and hard work.

[/i]

and magic items: http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=magicitemwhich just gave me: [i]Pendant of Snake Control[/i]

 Or use the drop down menu to select 31 types of magic items desired (I won't list all 31 types, just the few I use most often):

abstract shapes:which just gave me: [i]Holy Sea Serpent's Cube of Foul Charisma[/i]

jewelry:which just gave me: [i]Celestial Dragons' Bracelet[/i]

musical instruments:which just gave me: [i]Undertaker's Sitar of Cat Summoning[/i]

potions:which just gave me: [i]Elixir of the Ancestral Invocation of Frost[/i]

I have lots of fun with these, which rank among my favorite generators. I can spend hours popping out arsenals of magic items for my magic users. :)

When I want to add a romantic twist to the story I look to the romance generator: http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=romance which just gave me: [i]In this story, a philosophical midwife attends a religious event and meets an outgoing biologist. What starts as a one-night stand quickly becomes true love. Yet, how can a miserly garbageman tear them apart?[/i]

Or how about some Paranormal Romance: http://www.chaoticshiny.com/promance.php which just gave me: [i]The tenacious, depressed heroine has been involved with the supernatural since she became friends with a werewolf. After she learns of a secret, she finds herself caught up in an electrifying adventure. Can she escape the dangerous, sensual fey who has promised her his heart?[/i]

Or perhaps my characters need an extra goal to move the story along: http://www.chaoticshiny.com/adventuregen.php [i]The heroes must learn the history of the graveyard without anyone finding out or the lovers will never be reunited.[/i]

Remember that tavern we created back there? Well I love turning my taverns into bordellos filled with tapestries and art objects, collected by the Elven prostitutes and Mermaid whores - I write Erotica remember? When I want to add art objects I look to the art object generator: than select from the drop down menu:

painting:which just gave me: [i]A very large painting of a demi-goddess. The predominant color is deep brown. It is in good condition.[/i]

drawing:which just gave me: [i]A very small drawing of storm clouds. It was done in a simplistic style.[/i]

tapestry:which just gave me: [i]A very small tapestry depicting a birth involving a short illegitimate son. It was done in a simplistic style. It is in average condition.[/i]

sculpture:which just gave me: [i]A medium-sized glass sculpture depicting a victory involving a pudgy seer and a torch. It was done in an idealized style.[/i]

sketch:which just gave me: [i]A somewhat large sketch of a needle and a shrew. It was done in a particular artist's style.[/i]

etching:which just gave me: [i]A somewhat large etching depicting an announcement involving a young woman. It is in great condition.[/i]

carving:which just gave me: [i]A very small carving of a wildcat. It was done in an archaic style. It is in excellent condition.[/i]

engraving: which just gave me: [i]A rather small engraving of a skull near a farm.[/i]

mosaic:which just gave me: [i]A somewhat large mosaic of a tall jester with dimples and brown-black hair during a storm. It was done in a very plain style.[/i]

fresco:which just gave me: [i]A medium-sized fresco of a golem. The predominant colors are dark blue-violet and silver. It is in very good condition.[/i]

or wall paintings:which just gave me: [i]A small wall painting of a mockingbird and a lion. It was done in a simplistic style. It is in very poor condition.[/i]

These generators are also where I come up with the many books, decorations and art objects collected by Sir Roderic and put on display in his Twighlight Manor, as well as the magic items and potions created by his necromantic alchemist butler.

 When I want to add a random car to my modern stories I look to the car generator: http://www.chaoticshiny.com/cargen.php which just gave me: [i]This gray hatchback is in decent shape. It has a completely redone interior, a trailer hitch and many cup-holders. The styling features bland design. It can go from 0-60 in 14.77 seconds and has a top speed of 266 mph. It handles incredibly well.[/i]

But than what if you don't want to go through all of this? You just want to grab one Quick Story Idea? http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=quickstory [i]The theme of this story: dramatic slice-of-life. The main characters: short-tempered acrobat and famous exorcist. The start of the story: surrender. The major event of the story: inheritance. The end of the story: reconciliation.[/i]

All together there are more than 300 random generators found on these two massively huge sites. The ones I've listed here are just the few I go back to and use over and over again.

This very (random) formulated way of creating stories is how I changed my writing output from one 13k to 36k story every 3 to 4 months to I'm now publishing at a rate of one 13k to 36k story every other week. It's because I no longer have to think about what I'm going to write. I just ask the generator and that's what I write no matter what the generator says. I no longer spend hours planning and outlining. Now I just take whatever the generators give me and that's the story I'll write. No plot creation required.

There are a LOT of writers who REALLY hate this "factory production" method of writing, and preach oodles of pages of rants against the evils of what they call "paint by number writing" but hey I'm the one living on the beach and driving a rhinestioned car, so yeah, I don't really care what the naysayers think about my writing methods. It works for me and that's all that matters. And besides I've been writing for 36 years, it's hard to think up enough plots to write that many years. In the 1970s and 1980s I was a freaking plot factory. But by the 1990s writer's block used to be a real problem for me. I discovered 7thSanctum in 2004 and have never had writer's block again since.

So, this method is a huge time saver that allows me to write faster, because I don't have to spend hours staring at the computer asking myself "So what am I going to write today?" Time is the big factor in how much you can write per day/week/month/year.

So, yeah, I start out with a beat sheet, drop in a pre-written plot, grab random generators and start tossing the stuff they give me into the plot, and than I start writing.

I highly recommend both pre-written plots and random generators. Use them all the time. Love 'em, Love 'em, Love 'em!

A few weeks ago someone asked me to show them how I actually made this work. I'll copy that post here because it shows what I do in action:


You remember the Magic 8 Ball toy? ask it a question and it tells you the answer? That's what I do with random generators. If I can't think of what to write I ask a generator and it tells me what I should write. and sometimes what it tells me is pretty strange. But I'll take you through it step by step, right now, seeing how I've not yet started my writing for the day and thus I am currently in need of something to write. Whatever this thing comes up with by the end of this post, that's the story I'll be writing today, so here we go, let's see what I'm destined to write today...

I use the Writing Challenge Generator http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=writechallenge to tell me what the story is about:

[i]The story takes place in mid-spring. During the story, a character breaks something important to them. The story must have a stained-glass window appear in the middle. During the story, a character eats something that disagrees with them. A character will take a bath. During the story, a character makes a life-changing decision. The story ends at night.[/i]

Because I tend to write Medieval type D&D style fantasies (in outer space, on distant planets), I grab a tavern from the Tavern/Inn Generator v0.8.6 http://www.chaoticshiny.com/taverngen.php and start my story there.

  • [i]Name: The Mournful Lamb Inn
  • Overall Quality: Good 
  • Cleanliness: Decent 
  • Size: Medium
  • Drink Pricing: Fair
  • Food Pricing: Fair
  • Room Pricing: Fair 
  • Drink Quality: Very good
  • Food Quality: Good
  • Room Size: Medium 
  • Drink Variety: Far above average
  • Food Variety: Above average
  • Room Availability: About three-quarters occupied
  • Popularity: Very crowded
  • Noise level: Loud
  • Crowd: Seems mostly law-abiding
  • Dark corners occupied: 0%
  • Sobriety: Most patrons drunk
  • Patrons openly armed: Almost all
  • Attractions: card and dice games
  • Noteable Patron: the silent, sullen assassin who is buying everyone drinks
  • Menu: no prices written on it
  • Bartender: loud 
  • Bartender reaction: greets party after a few moments
  • Bartender quirk: is female

House Special: Sapphire with a few bubbles and a bit of smoke coming from it. The drink smells like perfume and tastes metallic. Boar teeth are rumored to be a key ingredient.[/i]

Okay so my character is going to be getting free drinks from an assassin. Though I wonder how is that being a female classifies as a "quirk"? I've also just decided that my main character is a male Elf wizard, because I like Elves and wizards and that's what just popped into my head as I was reading the tavern generator's results.

I use the meal generator http://www.chaoticshiny.com/mealgen.php to determine that my Elf wizard has just ordered:

[i]Brined hare with a side of diced Brussels sprout and rhubarbs. Served with potato bread, brie, frog pie, Prussian asparagus soup and scrambled eggs.[/i]

Okay, that is a weird meal. Why in the heck did he just order something like that? Somewhat icky but I'm gonna keep it and go with it, see where it takes me.

I want my Elf to meet someone while he is here, so I ask the crowd generator http://www.chaoticshiny.com/crowdgen.phpto give me a random stranger for him to encounter. It gives me:

[i]The tattooed, obnoxious old man who is carrying a strange staff.[/i]

A staff? Is he a wizard too?

But now I want to know, what is his attitude towards my Elf, so we ask the attitude generatorhttp://www.chaoticshiny.com/attitudegen.php and it says:

[i]Is unfriendly towards the character, and has strong feelings about it. Their attitude is due to local gossip.[/i]

Ah, so he's obnoxious and unfriendly AND I now know that there is local gossip going around town about my Elf wizard. hhhhmmm. I wonder why?

And you know what? Because I like portals and taverns are good places to have them, and obnoxious and unfriendly old man with a strange staff indicates there is magic going on here, I'm going to run off grab the portal generatorhttp://www.chaoticshiny.com/portalgen.phpand drop me a portal into the tavern.

[i]This portal appears as a flickering bronze stair. A deep rumbling noise emanates from the portal. The key to opening it is a word.[/i

Now, I need the portal to go somewhere and I think it's going to lead to a hidden room rather than another realm or plane, so this time I'll use the room generator (though I could as easily use the Lost Civilization generator, the Outer Realm Generator, the Other Planes Generator, or any of several others.) The room generator tells me that the portal leads to:

[i]Hallowed Antechamber of Divination[/i]

hmmm...I'm not sure about that, let's try again:

[i]Mystic Dining Room of the Idol[/i]

Still not sure, I may come back to this and try another generator, but now I wonder where is this tavern located?

I use the adventure site generator http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=advnameto tell me that the tavern is situated in the:

[i]Haunted Swamp of Unspeakable Beings[/i]

Ah, so now I know the tavern is in a swamp. Good. I live in a swamp off the edge of a salt marsh on the shore of a beach, so swamps are something I'm good at writing about. this is a good fit for me. Got to figure out what those "Unspeakable Beings" are now. Why has my Elf wizard traveled to this swamp and is he just stopping at the tavern for a meal or does he have other motives?

You know, there is a motive generatorhttp://www.chaoticshiny.com/motivegen.php , let's ask it, why my Elf wizard is at this tavern:

[i]This character is motivated by mischief and insanity. This stems from a recent incident.[/i]

Oooookaaaay. My Elf is insane. I like it. No wonder he's ordering frog pie. Makes scene now that I know he's insane. Hey...this actually fits with one of my series that I'm already writing. Wait - is this Quaraun? Could this be a new story for my series? Is this Elf not a wizard but actually my Necromancer. Is this in fact Quaraun the Insane? Ohhh, now my character here has a background history and a name because no longer is he a random character, he's a character I've written about before and that means I now know why he's here: he's hellbent on becoming a Lich, and there's got to be a piece to that puzzle here somewhere. Well now those two rooms the portal gave me are starting to fit into place. I can use both of them. Now I have to decide if it's just 1 portal that can go to two separate locations or are there two portals? I figure that out later after I start writing, because you know what? Now that I've realized I know this character, I'm ready to start writing and I don't need to ask the generators any more questions, expect, what do I start off with?

I now use the Writing Exercise generator http://www.chaoticshiny.com/wegen.php to tell me to how to start writing this story:

[i]Write for at least 5 minutes about a relationship beginning, a stone, and a gambler.[/i]

And if you don't like something the generators give you, just refresh the page and it'll give you something else. See, as I'm clicking these generators, my mind has given me an Elf in a tavern, ordering his meal and reading a map (even though the generators did not mention a map) but than this last generator mentions a relationship and a gambler and I'm thinking, they don't match the story image my mind is forming for me here, so let's click it again and see what it gives me...

[i]Write for at least 400 words about a meal, a mirror, words, and a historic item. Focus on describing unusual details.[/i]

Ah! yes, that's better. we already know he's ordered a meal, I'll assume the tavern has a mirror hanging over the fire place...ohhh, just had a thought. My elf is looking over at the mirror and suddenly he notices the other guests are not reflecting... ohhh, 7th Sanctum has a generator for that, off to go grab another story detail...

The vampire generator... http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=vampire which tells me to add the following vampire to my story:

[i]This cheerful male vampire has slitted gray eyes. His thick, wavy, cream-colored hair is neck-length and is worn in an uncomplicated style. He is very tall and has a graceful build. His skin is completely transparent, and the blood flowing beneath it actually seems to glow. He has bushy eyebrows. He can read the minds of people. When exposed to human purity, he will be incapacitated. His diet is like that of classic vampires. He feeds not through his mouth, but via a long tongue with a mouth-like end. His outfits are those of a soldier.[/i]

Ooohhh. I like him, I'll keep him and use him in my story now. And hey, is he the "Unspeakable Being" that the swamp was named after, or is he just guest at the tavern and the "Unspeakable Beings" are something far worse? I have yet to determine.

And now I take all of those things, and start writing. I have no clue where I'll take it or if it'll get published, but these random excessive like this work wonders for getting me back into the "writing zone" so that I can get back to working on projects I'm supposed to be working on. There are more than 300 generators on 7thSanctum and Chaotic Shiny and by combining them like this I can come up with infinite ways to get rid of writer's block.

Okay, so now I will take this an combine it with one of my pre-written plots. I have chosen a Paranormal Romance Plot about a guy trying to impress a girl who doesn't know he exists and in frustration seeks out the help of a magic user. I'll make the main character in the plot a Wood elf instead of a human and turn his love interest into a purple haired fairy instead of a blond prom queen (as she is in the pre-written plot), the magic user is of course being turned into my long time series character Quaraun the Insane, a Moon Elf Necromancer. 

Next I will now change the high school in the pre-written plot to a tavern. Instead of a prom queen the girl is a bar maid. Instead of a computer geek, the guy is baker/cook for the tavern. 

Now I will take every thing the generators gave me and drop those items into the pre-written plot: the old man with a staff, the assassin buying drinks, the portal, the swamp, the vampire, etc ...in they go.

Now it is time for me to take this "outline" and re-write it into a 15k word story for my Quaraun the Insane series.

Viola! I have once again taken a pre-written plot, one I've used already for other stories, and turned it into a brand new story outline waiting to be written.

a half hour ago I had no plot, now I have a plot and and ready to write. And there you have it, that's how i use the pre-written plots and how I can take 1 pre-written plot and write 100 or more stories with it.

I think this works (at least for me) in the the same way that the "bend and stretch" and "if you're happy and you know it clap your hands" songs work for school kids. Teacher let's the kids get their wiggles out with dance activity songs at the start of the day, than they are ready to sit down and do their studies. These random generators activities let me shake the spiders and cobwebs out of my head so I can get back to writing. Works wonders and often I end up with something publishable out of these exercises so that's an added bonus too. (One of these exercises ended up becoming a series! I just got so into the story as I started writing it, I ended up writing a whole set of them.)

And as I have not yet started writing today, I now have my story to write for the day. So, I don't know if I helped you out any or not here, but I sure just helped myself! LOL! :)

(ETA: March 5, 2015 - The story this prompt ending up as is now published under the title: Quaraun and the Vampire, Into The Swamp of Death.)

So, yeah, there you have it. How I turn a handful of pre-written plots into hundreds and hundreds of stories (I've written close to 700 stories this way.) 

A quick warning though: 

Be careful of pre-written plots. DO NOT use them as you bought them. I'll tell you why. I ended up writing a series of books on pre-written plots. The short of it is, I wrote this series because I needed a book like this for my own writings and I just couldn’t find one out there. I figured, I couldn’t be the only one looking for a book of this nature, so there is a need to be filled. I kept hearing about “Pre-Written Plots” and I even bought a few of them to see what they were. Overall, the concept of pre-written plots appealed to me, but I found the idea to be flawed on many levels.

If you don’t know what pre-written plots are or how they work, basically, the idea is, for someone to write a basic plot to a story. The plot being from 1 to 10 paragraphs long, each paragraph being about 100 words in length. Not a lot of detail goes into the plot, as it is only 100 to 1,000 words long. The plot gives you the basics: characters and what happens to them. It is up to you, the author, to now take that plot and write it into a novel, the goal being to write 10 pages per paragraph of a 10 paragraph plot, or 100 pages for the one paragraph plot, etc. 

In other words, you take a 100 word plot and turn it into a 100 page book.

And it’s a great idea, one that works, but, it had flaws...

For starters, the idea was started by a single person and that person and two others, are the ONLY way you can buy these pre-written plots. They do not sell these plots in a book of plots. No. They sell each plot as a single PDF file that you have to download off a site known as The Warrior’s Forum.

I went out and bought several packages of these pre-written plots, and found that each package only contains about 10 or 12 plots. Well, that adds up to a lot of money, fast, when you are paying $30 per package. Ouch! So, that ends up being $3 per plot. Okay, but then you sell the books for .99c and earn only .35c per sale, which means you have to sell 100 copies before you make your money back on the plot, and maybe (if you’re lucky) you’ll sell a single copy a day (though most authors can expect a single copy a week), meaning it can be as much as 6 years before you make that $3 back. Yeah. Hard facts about sales in self-pubbed writing. You are not going to become a millionaire in this business, heck, it’ll be 3 or 4 years before you start making enough to buy cup of coffee each week. If you are into self-publishing for the money, Honey, you are in the wrong business. Writing is a labor of love.

Now, you have to get covers made for you books and you have to pay for editing and formatting (unless you do it yourself, which is highly unrecommended.) By the time you get done, you have put $200 to $300 into your book before it’s even published, and then after publication, you next have to start paying for marketing.

Okay, so, you get the idea here: self-publishing a book is cheap from the standpoint of how many businesses can you start for under $500? But when you figure in how long it’ll take you to get that money back before you start to see a profit, it’s expensive, because how many businesses will take you 5 or more years before you see a $100 a year income? Well, the point is, once I started adding up the over all costs, I began to realize that paying $3 per plot, for a pre-written plot, was kind of a scam that was being pulled over on us authors, and that didn’t set well with me.

However, I was still buying those pre-written plots. Like I said, I went out and bought a lot of them. Here’s the thing: I didn’t read most of them. I bought a set, then bought a second set, them bought a third set...and so one. Just collecting them up, without going over them to read what I was buying. I had bought more than 60 pre-written plots before I sat down and started reading what they were, and here’s when I got mad and realized, just how big of a scam these pre-written plots really were.

Here’s what happened:

Before you can get to reading the plot, you first have to read the warnings. Yes, warnings. I thought this quite odd. Why do they need warnings? What is wrong with these plots that they require so many warnings. Not one or two warnings, but page after page of warnings. Each pdf, consisted of 20 pages of warnings followed by 1 to 10 paragraphs of plot. This felt odd to me.

The warnings, went on and on about the imperative need to CHANGE EVERYTHING, about the plot in order to avoid being sued for plagiarism.

Okay, wait a minute...what? Why? Didn’t you write an original plot here? Why do I need to change everything if this is an original plot, one that you made up off the top of your head? If I’m using an original plot to write an original story, I have no reason to be worried about being sued for plagiarism now, right?

Her warning states: 

  • “Change the characters’ names, you don’t want to be sued for plagiarism. Make the character unique and all your own...blah, blah, blah...”
  • “Change the characters’ hair color, you don’t want to be sued for plagiarism...”
  • “Change the characters’ jobs, you don’t want to be sued for plagiarism...”
  • “Change the characters’ birth places, you don’t want to be sued for plagiarism...”
  • “Change the characters’ genders, you don’t want to be sued for plagiarism...”
  • “Change the characters’ living situations, you don’t want to be sued for plagiarism...”

...and so on, for 20 freaking pages.

Okay, so the author of these pre-written plots, I had bought off the Warrior’s Forum is absolutely paranoid out of their minds, okay. Then after 20 pages of warnings I FINALLY get to the 3 page long 1,000 word plot.

Each of these plots was about 1,000 words long, consisting of an outline, with one paragraph per chapter, summarizing each chapter, and then a list of characters. Now, that would have been great, if it wasn’t for the plagiarism. 

Yep. You heard me: plagiarism. 

  • I read a plot and thought to myself: “This sounds really familiar.” 
  • I read a second plot and thought to myself: “This sounds really familiar, too.” 
  • I read a third plot and thought to myself: “I know I’ve read this before.” 

It went that way for a few more plots, until I read a plot that started out with a nurse, finding a naked man in the road, and he turns out to be a werewolf and the rival of her vampire boyfriend. And I stop and go: “Wait a minute. I just read this two days ago.” 

So, I go and pull out my Sookie Stackhouse books and sure enough, I had just read it. But it gets worse, I’m looking at the names on the character sheet, versus the names in the book, and whoever wrote these pre-written plots, never even bothered to change the names. Well, no wonder each plot had 20 pages of change this and that warnings tacked onto it! If you use her pre-written plots, exactly as she “wrote” them, you WILL get slapped with a plagiarism lawsuit, and it’ll be from the biggest names on the bestseller lists too.

Now I take the other familiar sounding plots and head to Google. I start Googling the names of the characters, and there they are: several recent New York Times bestseller books.

I could kick myself for not researching the pre-written plots being sold off the Warriors Forum more. I’m just glad I didn’t use any of them to write any books, before I realized they were outright plagiarism. Then again, it’s not the first time I’ve run across a major scam being sold off the Warriors Forum. Scams, especially scams aimed at authors, abound on that site.

Okay, so these pre-written plots turned out to be a scam and I had fallen for it, but the idea of pre-written plots is still a good one, and so I started searching high and low to find some that were actually real and not scams. Turns out, there aren’t any. The plagiarized pre-written plots being sold of the Warrior’s Forum are the only pre-written plots available for sale.

Well, that’s a phooey, because I really did like the concept and I think it could be a big boon to authors everywhere if such a thing really did exist.

So, I came to the conclusion that, if I can’t find what I want, then the only course of action is to make it myself, and so I did, and that is how this series of books: 

PHOTO

So you see, I mostly wrote the books for my own use.

I suppose you could use my pre-written plots anyway you want to, but I’ll tell you how I use them. I use them two ways.

First, I use it for writing my books. Namely, I use these plots for writing the Quaraun Series. For writing books, I grab a plot at random, and start writing. I add the details as I get into the momentum.

Second, I use these plots for playing RPG games, such as Dungeons and Dragons, Pathfinder, etc. These plots are OSRIC™ compatible, because I prefer to use the ORSIC™ system of game play. To use these plots in game play, I first select a campaign and setting (usually I use SpellJammer, RavenLoft, or Forgotten Realms - Neverwinter) and then, I take one of these plots, and use it as the reason for the quest that the player characters will be going off on.

I suppose you can use them for other things, I don’t know what, but use your imagination and I’m sure you’ll think of something.

Now, these plots are quite a bit more simplified, then the very detailed (and plagiarized) plots found on Warriors Forum, so if you are looking for 1,000 word long plots, with lots of details, and lists of character sheets, then this book is not for you, because that’s not how I wrote it.

Here is what you will find in these plots.

Each plot is about 100 words long, some are shorter, into the 70 word range, some are longer into the 150 word range, but over all these plots average out at 100 words long each plot.

The plot gives you a basic story idea. (Which in this book, follows the theme of Epic Fantasy Romance.) It tells you the main character, what s/he wants, who one or two secondary characters are and what they want, what the major obstacle to their plans is, and a few random things they will encounter along the way.

It is VERY open ended, allowing for a lot of wiggle room to make the story uniquely your own.

You can choose to add or delete and details you feel require adding or removing.

If it says a character is female, but you want that character to be male, go ahead and change it.

If it says a character is an Elf and you want him to be a Vampire instead, then go ahead and change it.

If it says a character is a wizard and you want him to be an archer, it’s your choice, your story, go ahead and write it your way.

Because these are Romance plots, each plot has a male and a female character listed. However, if you want to write a M/m (gay) romance, just make it two male characters. I’ve designed these so that they are extremely flexible to fit whatever type of story you want to write.

You will find that I have not included names, and while genders are listed, they are easily switched.

And best of all, as everything here is 100% original, you don’t have to live in the mortal fear of “I have to change this to that or I’ll be sued for plagiarism.” Plus, the plots are thin enough, so that even if 100 other people choose to write a book, based off the exact same plot you did, there is no way that their book and your book would ever be confused with each other.

PHOTO


[quote author=NAME REMOVED FOR BOOK PUBLICATION EDITION]What should be revealed in the blurb/description?[/quote]



I actually don't reveal too much in my blurbs. Again, pointing to "50 Shades of Grey", which is Erotica, and yet, no where does the blurb hint to that at all. 

[quote]When literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly, innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her, too-but on his own terms.

Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success-his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family-Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desires.

Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.

This book is intended for mature audiences.[/quote]

See? Nothing sexual is revealed. There is no "He ties her up, pulled her used tampon out and tosses it across the room, and oh balls and chains and whips and other super kinky taboo stuff too hot to mention on Amazon so I stuffed the real blurb in my Look Inside, go look at the Look Inside to see all the hot stuff included Amazon won't let me say here!" type of stuff in the blurb, even though that is what happens in the book.

NEWSFLASH: Fastest way to get on Amazon's radar is to make a list of all the kinks going on in the blurb. 

Say:

  • "Hot gay sex"
  • not "lots of sexy taboo gay anal sex"


Say:

  • "sensual encounters with a werewolf"
  • not "hot, sweaty taboo knotting going on in these pages!"

Say:

  • "Human characters have sensual encounters with non-human alien entities"
  • not "hot sexy barely legal teen gets probed by horny doubled-d**ked aliens on their ph*l*s shaped space craft"

It's all in how you word the thing. I never put any "details" about the "type of sex" involved, other than to mention if it is M/m or Monster Porn (because a lot of readers DO NOT WANT to read M/m or Monster Porn and will neg review you for not warning them.)

Go back and read 50 Shade blurb again. No sex is mentioned. No details. Nothing. The blurb tells the plot of the story and has just a quick note at the end mentioning that it is an "Erotic tale intended for mature audiences".

I try to describe the plot in under 200 words, under 100 words if possible. And then at the end tack on a note/chart stating:

  • Format: (Short Story, Novella, Novel)
  • Word Count: xx,xxx
  • Approximate paperback printed page count: XX pages
  • Pairing: (M/f, M/m, M/m2f, M/M/M/M/M/M/M/f, etc)
  • Heat Level: (Sweet, Steamy, Spicy, Erotic, Erotica, Porn)
  • CONTENT WARNING: Intended for adults only!
  • MONSTER PORN WARNING: This story contains sexual encounters between a human and non-humans.

The reason for keeping the blurb super short, is so that this entire thing can can be displayed on the description without the reader having to click on the "see more" button.

--------------

I've never seen Amazon "attack" a book that followed after 50 Shades' method of keeping the titles/blurbs/description/keywords/look-inside/covers "50 Shades style clean and classy". I really do think that if all Erotica authors followed the 50 Shades style to titles/blurbs/description/keywords/look-inside/covers the Amazon Erotica Sweeps would disappear and stop happening, because I've never seen a 50 Shades style titles/blurbs/description/keywords/look-inside/covers hit during the Erotica Sweeps.

On a side note: August/September/October is when Google sends out Panda/Penguin/Phantom/Hummingbird/etc out on the kill.

When push comes to shove, it's Google not Amazon who has the final say it what gets adult filtered - Amazon bends over backwards to not get punished by Panda's blacklist, Penguin's unindexing, or especially the notorious website deadly Hummingbird's backlink cutting slash and trash that cuts you out of search results not only on Google, but even on places like FaceBook and Twitter or your own author website. Since their unleash in February 2011, Amazon along with every other large (and small) web has been cowering at Google's feet and the fear mounts as each new spider bot gets more fierce then it's predecessor. With last months's death of Squidoo at the hands of Hummingbird, the entire SEO community is quaking in terror at the formidable power levels Google's bots have now reached.

Panda is the one that's going to be reading your blurb and description, what Panda finds, is reported to Penguin, is reported to Hummingbird, is to Phantom and so on. Fear panda, live by Panda's rules, don't do anything (keyword stuffing) to get on Panda's bad side, and you'll keep Amazon happy. Because once Google sends a AdSense ToS violation notice to Amazon, your book is dead - Amazon starts sending you nasty emails and or slaps on the "adult filter" (if Erotica) or manual drops your sales rankings (if not Erotica) or slaps the 'content farm' filter (if non-fiction). Once Google's Panda blacklists your book page, Amazon is going to be on your case. If you the author don't fix whatever the offense was before Penguin gets there, you are in trouble, because Amazon WILL delete your entire account, all your books, even your ability to buy books, if Penguin sends them a AdSense ToS violation second strike warning. Amazon will do anything to avoid being hit by Hummingbird, and that mean banning author accounts that got unindexed from Google's search index by Penguin. Hummingbird is the 3rd strike, and Google sends no third warning before sending Hummingbird out on the kill to REMOVE all backlinks to your website, cutting your entire website off search ability like a sinking sink, just like they did to Squidoo last week.

Prior to February 2011 keywords was the way to go. Amazon got hit hard by Google with Panda bad early on, thus why they removed "tags" (keywords in books), they were one of the first site's to fall off Google's search result radar, and they worked like hell to claw their way back up to first page search results on Google page 1, and now that they are back there, they will not let another author knock them back off. Thus the invention of such things as the "adult filter" that same year, along with huge changes in Amazon, such as the removal of tags under each book and links in the book descriptions.

Here's an article that explains what's going on in more detail: http://internetretailseo.com/seo/did-you-get-hit

^^^THIS^^^ article explains what happened on Google's end, what Google did to retailers, in October 2013, to result in Amazon's infamous Erotica Sweep, that took out Daddy Porn and Monster Porn. People blame MasterCard, but MasterCard was only a small part of the equation: MasterCard was also hit by Google's Phantom in October 2013, Amazon had BOTH Google and MasterCard on their backs, thus what they slashed and trashed author accounts so hard in the days following Google's Phantom attack.

Here's another one: http://searchenginewatch.com/article/2279032/Phanteguin-A-Phantom-Penguin-One-Two-Punch-From-Google with more charts and details on what these Google bots do to your web sites (in our case as authors, this is what is happening to our book pages on Amazon)

My recommendation? Do a Google search for the phrases: 

  • Google Panda
  • Google Penguin
  • Google Phantom
  • Google Hummingbird

Google has others, but those are the 4 big bots you have to watch out for. They are the big boys who'll cut your off below the knees and inspire Amazon to rush in axe swinging on your books.

Find out just exactly what these bots are capable of and why web site builders tremble in fear at Google's feet since the creation of these mega-bots. 

Then use that information to write you book blurbs with. write your blurbs for Google's algorithms, and you'll be writing them for Amazon's as well.

I build websites, I've built hundreds of websites since 1997, I have backdoor views of rank and tracking stats of these websites, I've seen first hand the awesome power of Google's barnyard and their ability to kill your website. For the past 4 years Amazon has been watching their web pages take hit after hit by Google's mega bots. Amazon bends to Google's command.

The only way for an author to stay of Amazon's radar while staying high in Amazon's search results, is if they stay off Panda's (Google's first strike) radar and high on Google's search results.

Panda goes out every quarter, it would have just gone out mid August. Meaning first week of September is when you would see Amazon reacting to a Panda blacklist of their pages. any page blacklisted by Panda, Amazon is gonna pull, no questions. It's just gone. If authors try to republish or keep publishing more, and than Penguin or Phantom attack Amazon, Amazon will delete the author's account. This is WHY you see the Erotica Sweeps in September and then again in October. It's a side effect of the one-two Panda/Penguin or Phantom/Penguin punch that Google hits Amazon with.

Now, not all of it is Google, of course. What Google is doing is looking at titles, blurbs, keywords, and links. When Google detects a high rate of spammy looking keyword stuffing in the titles/blurbs/keywords Panda punches Amazon hard, knocking every keyword stuffed page out of the Google index.

This is the first alert Amazon gets. 

Now Amazon takes all of those unindexed pages and looks at each one one at a time. Some one at Amazon's customer service manually looked at your cover, reads your blurb/title/etc, reads your look inside too. Amazon then notifies the author of a content violation.

NORMALLY Amazon only looks at your book when a customer complains, but when a massive site wide sweep occurs the reason is because of Google's Panda lashing out at keyword stuffed pages and amazon, then doing a massive site wide scan of all pages Google reported as offending the AdSense ToS by practicing keyword stuffing.

THIS ^^^ is why I included keywords, when I said, I keep my keywords clean and on topic. Often the Erotica books hit hard by Amazon used long tail spammy keyword stuffing style keywords, which is what tipped Panda off.

For example, the keywords I used in the book I used in my example were:

[i]elf, fae, wizard, romance, quest, sorcery, shapeshifter[/i]

Google's Panda won't give them a second glance.

Someone who was keyword stuffing would have used keywords like this instead:

[i]hot sex with elves, super taboo raunchy sex with faeries, hot double penetration annal sex with wizards, sexy erotic romance, sex quests from hot free sex, sorcery and sorcery and sex with unicorns and other hot sexy mythical beasts, wicked smexy gay knotting sex with werewolf shapeshifters[/i]

Can you see the difference between keywords and keyword stuffing? Often whatever they put in the keywords, they repeat in the blurb, and in the about the author sections.

Usually it's keyword stuffing, that causes a big sized Erotica Sweep, because Google is actively looking for keyword stuffing, and blacklists every Amazon page it finds which practices keyword stuffing. Usually it's either Erotica or short Non-Fiction, hit during these Panda scans, because both Erotica and short Non-Fiction are notorious for spammy keyword stuffing, due to a high rate of "online marketers" just writing Erotica or short Non-Fiction as a way to get rich quick and than using keyword stuffing to try to boost their books in rank.

Unfortunately, as soon as Panda finds these spammy keyword stuffed books, they notify Amazon "The following pages are violating our AdSense ToS" (Google sends this notice out to ALL webmasters every 90 days - because I'm good at NOT keyword stuffing, every notice I've gotten from Panda has read "Congratulation, we did not find any AdSense ToS violation on any page of you domain -----.com". ) Well, as soon as Amazon gets that email from Google, they lash out fast at every offending book page, and then, look at whatever the "hot topic" keywords were, and start checking all of them. Then everybody gets hit by a massive "Erotica Sweep".and that's why you see these sweeps happen every February/March and again every September/October - it's because Panda is cleaning Google's index and Amazon is trying to stay off the blacklist.

 ***


[quote author=NAME REMOVED FOR BOOK PUBLICATION EDITION]Tell me what you like/hate in Monster porn. Is anything too cliché?

[/quote]


I like fast pace and interesting characters. Fast pace as in shorter stories with less descriptions and more dialogue, like a stage play script or a comic book script. I'm not very interested in fast pace when the meaning is action and fighting going on. I like stories with a slower more meandering flow, such as characters talking to one another. I like the style/formate Ernest Hemmingway used in "Hills Like white Elephants" when the entire story is nothing but dialogue between two characters talking over drinks at the bar. You never even learn their names or what they look like. It's just straight up dialogue. Most of my books are written in that style. It's an unpopular style, a lot of people don't like it, but I prefer it. So, that's the way I write my stories and it's actually one of the things which hinders my sales. So, I don't recommend you use it for your stories, if you are planning on them becoming bestsellers, because it's an old fashioned style of writing that today's readers really aren't interested in. It's considered one of those artsy-fartsy styles, used by literary authors. 

When I say I like interesting characters, I mean, I like characters i can identify with. There aren't many of those in fiction these days. I didn't grow up in mainstream America, I don't live in mainstream American culture, I have absolutely no understanding of the weird slang Americans use when they talk. Half the words Americans say, I don't even know what they mean. and yet, most characters in fiction are mainstream Americans and aimed at readers who are mainstream Americans. For example, I read a story once (in college in 2012), that took place on a subway. And I couldn't make heads of tales of what the story was talking about. I finally had to ask the professor, what exactly was going on in this story. 

She said: "Well, it's about these boys who are riding on the subway." 

My answer was, "I know, but I don't understand what that means."

She couldn't understand what it was that I couldn't understand.

After a few minutes of asking my various questions, it occurred to her what the problem was and she said: "Do you know what a subway is?"

I said; "It's that place down the street that sells sandwiches."

She says: "Have you never seen a subway?'

I said: "I eat there all the time."

She said: "Haven't you ever been to Boston or New York?"

"I've never been outside a five town radious of Old Orchard."

"Have you never seen a subway on TV?"

"I don't have a TV. We don't have electricity.

"A subway is like a train, but it's underground."

"Then why didn't the author say it was a train?"

"Because it wasn't a train. It was a subway."

Of course, there are so many characters in stories, who are living lifestyles that are so off the deep end it's incredible. I mean there are women in fiction who wear pants and makeup and cut their hair! Can you believe that? I mean, there are actually authors, who write women and describe them as wearing pants! That is just so completely unbelievable. And authors are always having their characters drinking coffee and talking on cell phones. I mean who does that? It's so completely unrealistic. I mean, who in their right mind drinks coffee? And authors of modern fiction, act like the whole world has access to phones? Seriously, where do these authors live that they think readers are even going to be able to identify with women who wear pant, and people drinking coffee and everyone having cell phones? Not in Maine, I'll tell you that.

But you see that's the problem I have with most every book written in the past 20 years. It's like the authors are from another planet. The culture of the lower 48 states is so dramatically different from the culture hee in Maine that I just can't wrap my mind around the story. The American culture is so weird and alien and unlike anything I've ever encountered, that I can't identify with characters in most of today's books.

So when I say, I like characters that I find interesting, I mean characters who live a lifestyle that I can actually understand and identify with. Characters who do things, like I would. I know everyone always talks about how diverse their books are, but, are they really that diverse? Every main character is a blond bimbo who frets over hair, nails, wears skinny jeans, and never gets off the phone, and is out and about in public without a male chaperone.

So that's a major dislike for me, because I don't like stories if I can't understand why the characters are doing the things they are doing. American culture makes no sense to me and I find it very difficult to identify with characters written by American authors. There is a desperate need for cultural diversity in characters.

I like to know what characters are thinking. And I like monologue, like the way Edgar Allan Poe wrote them.

I like things that make you stop and think, but do not make you stop reading. 

I hate prophecies and heroes whose destinies where spelled out for them centuries ago. I hate stories that start out with poor little hero, but suddenly hero reads prophecy and now knows he can win. I want heroes to win of their own accord, not because some prophecy said they were going to win, so therefor it must be so. 

I would prefer to see more villains as point of view characters, and also more villains who get away or win. I'm bored with goody two shoe heroes always winning. In real life, no hero is 100% good and no villain is 100% bad; I wish writers would reflect on this more often.

There is never enough, *good* mental health usage in fiction. It's always: "We need a villain, let's grab the schizo dude and give him a knife." or "Hey, there's a schizo, he's the bad guy." or "Let's use a schizo, because they can't think anyways." There is too much bad press in fiction about characters with schizophrenia. Schizo characters are every where in fiction, it's a major cliché, but they are being thrown into these stories by authors who don't even know what schizophrenia is, so they have the character doing all sorts of non-schizophrenia-type activities and just say it's schizophrenia because they don't know what else to call it and they are too lazy to do any research into the matter. I blame the authors of these types of books (and the movies like them too) for all the bad stigma that real life schizophrenics have to deal with, because people read these books and think: "Well it must be true, schizos must act like this, the author MUST have done their research before writing this book." When in fact nothing could be farther from the truth. I wish there were more schizo heroes in fiction. 

There needs to be a revival in the way authors deal with schizophrenia in fiction. I think authors who misuse schizos in their stories, should be made accountable for their actions because they are responsible for the bad rap that real life patient have to deal with. 

Same goes for Autism. I have Autism. Autism is used in a lot of fiction these days, but it's always used WRONG and INACCURATELY. Fictional Autistic characters, rarely ever accurately reflect real Autism. I'd like to see more authors handle characters the way I do my Roderic and Quaraun. Roderic and Quaraun both have Autism. Other characters see them as being a bit off their rocker, and usually think they are villans, but they are not villains, and not only are they not villains, but in each case they just happen to be the main character. That's something you don't see often: Autistic characters as the main characters. Most fiction with an Autisc character, only has them their as the "token special needs kid" and never a primary character at all, let alone the main character. And the few times an Autistic is the main character, the story is about their Autismand acts like there is NOTHING else in their life at all, but Autism, Autism, Autism. Did you know that I have never written a story about either Roderic or Quaraun, where their Autism was the focus of the story. Did you also know that in 200+ stories featuring Autistic main characters, I have yet to use the words "autism" or "special needs" in ANY of my stories? I'd like to see more authors treat Autistic characters as equals.

I wish there was more serious UFO and alien abduction fiction out there. Too much of it is written with the point of view that abductees are crazy and only UFO chasers ever see UFOs. Did you know that one in every thousand people claims to be an abductee and that 98% of all UFO chasers have never seen a UFO? There are almost eight billion people in the world and one in every thousand admits to having an alien abduction experience. Do you have any idea how many people that is?

I love alien abduction stories, and Monster Porn is where you can find a lot of them, but most of them are just utterly ridiculous and completely unresearched. I've yet to see an alien abduction Monster Porn that was anything like an ACTUAL alien abduction experience.

I love long running series. I hate it when a series ends. I want "just one more volume" every single time. I really hate it when a series suddenly ends and the ending reads like the author was bored so made up a bunch of nonsense just to end it and get it over with.Where's the closure? What about all those loose ends and plot twists that you left unanswered? 

Worse thing ever is when the author of a series dies before they write the final volume. Has happened to 2 different series I was reading.

Cliches in Monster Porn? Big monsters. I'm mean, seriously, have you ever read Monster Porn? EVERY monster is always 6'4" or taller. EVERY ONE OF THEM! Okay, I have issues with that. I don't big guys. I really don't. I'm seriously repulsed by them. I don't like big guys in real life and I don't like them in fiction either. And where's the realism in that? Have ANY of these authors ever done any actual research into REAL monster folklore?I mean, there's a reason, monster from folklore were referred to as "The Little People" and why their are phrases like "we dare not go a hunting for fear of little men". Traditionally monsters were small.

The thing I like best about writing Monster Porn is the fact that I can write it the way I want it to be. I can write short monologue ing monsters and actuate alien abductions. I can write it the way I wanted it to be.


[quote author=NAME REMOVED FOR BOOK PUBLICATION EDITION]I'm having trouble thinking of new titles. How do you come up with yours?What was the inspiration for your title? I've known all along my working title was a bit pants but had assumed something would jump out at me during the process. Guess what? I'm fast approaching the pointy end of the stick and have someone to design a cover; I need one and am running out of ideas! So far I've spent hours scanning the text, pondering the answer in my head, on amazon etc. doing a genre stalk. What else?What inspired you? How did you come up with the title for your books/stories?[/quote]



No idea really. They just come to me. I don't sit around thinking: "What can I call this?". I just go about to writing, and the name pops up some where along the line. Usually they have something to do with the story itself. 

It's all over the place for me. 

Sometimes a title will be the name of a character, ([Lynxianna is the cat who tells the story; Inugami is the name of the main character's dog) other times it will be the name of something in the book (The Ruby Hummingbird is a carved statue in the story; The Blue Monkey is the pirate ship on which the story takes place; VISION-D8 is the name of the starship; The Golden Palace is a gold plated palace floating in the clouds over an alien planet). 

*The Ruby Hummingbird* came about after I watched The Birds and thought, "Wouldn't it be great if humming birds went on a rampage and started skewering people with their beaks?" I wrote down the title on paper and than did not think of that story again for over 5 years. One day I was going through my notebooks and found a sheet of paper that said simply: "The Ruby Throated Hummingbird", and the next thing I knew I was writing a new story about Blackbird. 

Other times it'll be a line from the story (Where in the Heck is the Ceiling? is a question asked by the main character early on in the story). 

Sometimes it'll be a description of a character (The Port-A-Potty King is the gorgeous guy the main character obsesses over, but owns an RV park honey dipping waste removal business, and she's torn with being attracted to him and be utterly repulsed by his job) or a description of what the character is doing (Year One In No Hurry - No Hurry is the name of the motorhome, the story tells their first year of mishaps  - this is a non-fiction title btw, the main character is me, and No Hurry is the big green RV in my avatar).

Other times the title will be just something which tells you what the story is about (The Sex Diaries of Leslie Dean Trailer Park Queen- is the story of a retired elderly transvestite porn star trying to adjust to life in a senior citizen trailer park with religious seniors who don't think too highly of having an 83 year old former porn star next door; I Was a Door To Door Adult Sex Toy Salesman - title says it all...and was inspired by the fact that one day I got a knock on the door and was greeted with "Hello, I'm your local Adult Sex Toy Salesman, I thought I'd drop by and give you my card, let you know I'm available. We are always discreet and no one will ever know what you buy from me." I'm thinking, yeah, right, after you knock on every door in the neighborhood, everybody is going to know what you are selling when you come back; 

Some titles come from the theme or event of the story. For example...in Road Trip a salesman on the way home takes a deadly wrong turn. In Shiver, a boy went off to find out what shivers were. Neighbourhood children spy on the new man moving into the old house and discover Dracula Lives Next Door. Sometimes it's best not to look Behind Closed Doors and one should avoid haunted lakes and The Curse of Suicide Island.

Then you have BloodFall in Playland, the book that inspired psycho crazed stalker Kendra Silvermander to go off on her rampage. The story about my home town, Old Orchard Beach, and it's amusement park Palace Playland... about 2 teenagers stuck at the top of a ferris wheel, when alien zombies attack and eat everyone on the ground. (The covers in this series are all photos taken by my of the real park and it's real rides)

(EelKat's Twisted Tales)

(EelKat's Twisted Tales)

(Friends Are Forever: The Twighlight Manor series)

(Friends Are Forever: The Twighlight Manor series)

(EelKat's Twisted Tales)

Part 2 of BloodFall in Playland, Attack of the Zombie Pizza Boys - again, title speaks for itself; as does For Fear of Little Men - a horrific non-fiction book about little gray male aliens abducted girls for a breeding program than reabducting them to steal their unborn babies and the lifetime of PTSD these girls live with and the becoming laughing stock of the medical world because they believe their "false pregnancies" were alien babies stolen from them). On the same topic is Monster Porn title "Thoughts of Children That Never Were", or "The Lonely Kelpie" again, the story is just what the title suggests: it's a Monster Porn story about a lonely Kelpie looking for a mate.

(EelKat's Twisted Tales)

(Friends Are Forever: The Twighlight Manor series)

(The Quaraun series)

Friends Are Forever confuses people, the title suggest girly chick lit, not bloody gore feast, or so readers have told me. The title comes from the plot line - which basically is crazy guy who isn't a vampire but people think he is, guy marries mermaid girl, girl dies, crazy guy kidnaps alchemist to resurrect girl, things go gorrily horribly wrong, lots of people die, house comes to life and starts eating people, alchemist keeps every body alive, un-vampire goes insane surrounded by dead friends who refuse to die and live in undeath forever - thus the title Friends Are Forever. *Friends Are Forever*, is a ghost story about two lovers, one who lived and the other who died, and the house that ate her. 


(The Alien Bible)

(The Alien Bible)

(The Alien Bible)

Like Friends Are Forever, a lot of my titles are descriptive but not what readers thought it meant.

Garden Party for example - is Adam and Eve getting kicked out of the Eden because of having wild sex filled techno-rave parties with aliens from outer space - God being an alien and not liking other races of aliens stepping on his parade. Readers said the title suggested Regency romance not sci-fi insanity.

The Renegade Preacher- Jesus died, came back, Zombie Jesus is still preaching, falling apart as he goes, the 4 Horseman are alien invaders 4 giant starships in orbit about to wipe out the human race, Jesus knows they are coming but no one's listening because who listens to green oozy dead guys? Readers have told me the title suggested a Christian Romance about a preacher who is saved by a Christian woman.

I was listening to the reader tell me this and thinking "Clearly you have never read anything I wrote before, I write sci-fi, weird tales, absurdist and bizarro fiction, it's not often romance, but if it is, you can be sure the hero has fangs or tentacles or both and is probably a vampire brain sucking squid lich from Neptune's moons, not mainstream romance Christian or otherwise". (I wrote an entire series about vampire brain sucking squid lich from Neptune's moons, which I wrote mostly because I just like saying vampire brain sucking squid lich from Neptune's moons over and over again;D )

*The Great Crystonite War*, was of course about the war by the same name.  Into The Mushroom Forest has a character lost in a forest made of 100 foot tall mushrooms and being hunted by 30 foot fuzzy caterpillars. The Burning Planet tells of a planet just before it's sun supernovas. All 2 of these books, by the way, are from The Twighlight Manor series.

Also from the Twighlight Manor series are "Roderic's Butler, The Green Serpent, and White Rock, all 3 about Roderic's butler with the snake tatoo, who built the mansion turn asylum known as White Rock.

*Love Lust Madness*, another book from the Twighlight Manor series, is about a lover's triangle: one who loved truly, one who was just playing the field, and one who was a serial killer. 


(Friends Are Forever: The Twighlight Manor series)

(Friends Are Forever: The Twighlight Manor series)

(The Quaraun series)

(The Quaraun series)

(The Quaraun series)

(The Quaraun series)

(The Quaraun series)

The entire novella *Ice Storm* was written all in one night, while the worst blizzard we had ever seen threw trees through the side of our house, buried us in 8 feet of snow, and knocked out power for a week; that storm is now known as the famous Ice Storm '98, which swept across the entire North East. As the story was written as a result of my boredom during the Ice Storm, I included the ice storm itself in the story, and then shocked my fans by killing off not just one, but two of my reoccurring main characters. All the events in the story took place in a single night during the worst ice storm to ever rock the Twighlight Manor, and thus the story itself became known simply as *Ice Storm*. (UPDATE - 2015 - Ice Storm has been renamed "The Blue Eyed Demon of the Enchanted Racetrack" - after the gambling, gangster main character)

*Pink Frog* was of course about a pink frog named Pink Frog. 

You get the idea, right? Actually, it's pretty easy to figure out where my titles come from.

The Quaraun The Insane series is the main character's name, while each title is a description of the volume in question. For example: "Kelim and the Necromancer" is about a guy named Kelim and a deal he made with a shady Necromancer. "BoomFuzzy" is about a candymaker named BoomFuzzy, "The Phooka of a Thousand Deaths" is about an Phooka who commits suicide a thousand times trying to find a way to end the curse of his undeath, in "The Summoner of Darkness" Quaraun meets a rival Necromancer who calls himself... why, The Summoner of Darkness of course!


Titles like "Captured by the Goldfish King" or "Frost Dragon" or "Lord Bunny" are rather self explanatory.

Wasted Time is about a man, a bank robber, who is in a car accident after hitting a man moving snow out of the road, and is given a second chance to go back and change the last few minutes of his life... instead of NOT robbing the bank, he wastes time covering up his tracks in the snow in the road in front of an oncoming car...

Lucky #7... a man who does everything in 7s, on the 7th day of the 7th month has a sudden change of luck.

The Oak Tree... lovers run to carve their names in the old oak tree...but some trees just want to be left alone.

The Sand Castle - the story of a little girl, who just wanted to build a sand castle, told by the cat who was the only survivor of the slaughter on the beach that day.

Shifting Sand, goes back to that same beach, when the town attempts to wall off the beach and the seagulls and crabs have other plans for the residents of Old Orchard Beach.

GhoulSpawn and the Lich Lord's Lover - Unicorn is the Lich Lord, Quaraun is his lover, and Unicorn does not like Quaraun's new friend GhoulSpawn.

Concussion - about a man who wakes up from a concussion, and has no clue where he is.

Freedom - Living In Days of Toob is a cyberpunk tale of a world after a TV set has become the global dictator.

Visions - a man keeps having them and they are getting worse.

Visitors - they came from outer space and you don't want to know what they want.

The Curse of Were-Turkey Gorge, takes place in said gorge.

A Spectral Darkness falls over the land...

The Toob series, btw, is based entirely off this music video...



It's not hard for me to come up with titles. You just pull a title from the story. A character's name, a place, an event, a line from the text.

The problem readers had with confusing titles, is the covers: plain solid color, usually light blue, with the title in black letters. No cover art to tell what genre, no back cover blurb to tell the plot. They have only the title to go on. But when dealing with a local copy shop and vanity press print books sold only locally, cover art gets expensive. It was at reader request that I am now at work on reissuing new editions, ones with actual cover at, and making them easier to buy by putting them up on ebook and POD editions.

So, the lesson there is, the title can say one thing to an author but something else to a reader, so get cover art that helps the reader figure out the genre, because the title alone doesn't always convey the right message.:o 

But yeah, for me, there isn't really any standard answer to how I come up with my titles, it's kind of just hit and miss and changes with each project. Some times I know the title when I start, other times I'm pulling my hair out trying to figure out the title. Usually I'll just keep reading and re-reading the story and something from the story itself (a line, a name, etc) will just click and I'll be "That's it!, that's my title!" Sounds like you are already doing that.

Perhaps, if nothing is standing out, maybe you could just go with a character's name as your title? That's what I do when I can't think of anything else, and it works.

I nearly always have the title at the start. Those are the first words of any story to me. I don't brainstorm / plan. I just invent titles and then free write from there. With me it's titles first all the way. Only rarely do I ever have a story idea first and have to think up a title to match it. It nearly always the other way around, I have a title first and write a story to match the title.

More specifically, I don't invent the titles myself. Instead, I click on this: http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=advname or this www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=bmovieand it spits out 10 to 25 random titles for me. Whatever it gives me, that's what I write that day. I never know what I'll be writing about, it absolutely totally random.

For example those 2 clicks just now, that I did in order to get the page links, resulted in this:

  • Animated Woods of the Dragon
  • Aquatic Marsh of the Unholy
  • Bloody Maze of Demonic Writings
  • Church of Enchantment
  • Cursed Desert of No Return
  • Demense of Visions
  • Demonic Islands
  • Flesh-eating Castle of the Crazed Murderers
  • Great Arena
  • Haunted Vortex of the Deceiver
  • Infernal Demense of Unknowable Madness
  • Insane Catacomb of the Destroyer
  • Island of the Dark Lord
  • Islands of Flying Storms
  • Jungle of Foulness
  • Living Tunnel of Floating Death
  • Metal Grotto
  • Mountain of the Demons
  • Mystic Moor
  • Ossuary of Insanity
  • Oubliette of Destruction
  • Ruins of Enchantment
  • Ruins of the Mummy
  • Subterranean Tomb of Lies
  • Tomb of Aquatic Prayers
  • Tunnel of Fate
  • Unholy Crypt of Solitude
  • Unknown Cave of Annihilation
  • Woodland of Steel
  • Woods of Writings


and this:


  • Assault of the Murderous Tigers
  • Beauty Castle
  • Beyond Xanadu
  • Damnation Brides
  • Filth Castle
  • King Horror
  • Love and Damnation
  • Monsters of Wonder
  • Nun of Blood
  • Sensation and Disease
  • The Adventures of the Wolf-Women
  • The Boston Evil
  • The Horrible Cop
  • The Magic of the SS
  • The Mystery of Jack the Ripper
  • The Saint Louis Evil
  • The San Francisco Pestilence
  • The Sinful Dog-Man
  • Vampire Controllers, The Next Generation
  • Wednesday of the The Terrifying Bat

A total of 35 brand new titles for me to write. I few of them don't strike me as anything I'd use, but Animated Woods of the Dragon, Aquatic Marsh of the Unholy, Bloody Maze of Demonic Writings, Church of Enchantment, Insane Catacomb of the Destroyer, Flesh-eating Castle of the Crazed Murderers, Island of the Dark Lord, Mountain of the Demons, Ossuary of Insanity, Oubliette of Destruction, Unholy Crypt of Solitude, King Horror, Love and Damnation, Monsters of Wonder, Nun of Blood, Vampire Controllers, and Wednesday of the The Terrifying Bat have all just been added to my "stories to write this month" list. :) I have no idea what genres they will be, what they will turn out like, but, I will write them and find out.

This is the real secret to how I can come up with 52 to 208 new stories a year and than publish 1 to 4 stories a week. As long as 7thSanctum exists I will never be at a loss for what to write next. No plot, no problem, complete and total pantser, just throw a title at me and I'll write a story for it no matter what it is.













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The Top 202 Most Visited Pages of 2017

Seeing how on October 15, 2017, we reached 10,000 pages, I thought it'd be fun to update the Top 100 List and see where were were now.

Top 202 Most Viewed Pages Of 2017 So Far
(Out of 10,000 pages)

(January 2017 to October 2017)
(Excluding the Home PageAbout Page, and Site Map Page, which were the top 3)

  1. Amphibious Aliens: The Story of Etiole & The World's Most Haunted Car
  2. The GoldenEagle: An Auto-biography of the World's Most Haunted Car
  3. Medieval Servants: Their jobs and their place in historical fiction.
  4. How Long is 50,000 Words?
  5. On being a handicapped CosPlayer at PortCon Maine 2017
  6. Stephen King's The Thinner and The Gypsies Of Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  7. Writing Mute Characters
  8. Flamboyant Nipples: The KKK's New Gay Hating Site About Old Orchard Beach | The Site That Makes Fun of Terrorist Hate Crimes
  9. Writing Dares Random Generator
  10. Don't put flyers on people's cars...
  11. The Saco River Curse
  12. Our Primary Site Topic Is Small Penis? Reaching #1 on Page 1 of Google.
  13. Help FBI End Anti-Gay White Power Terrorist Attacks of Old Orchard Beach
  14. Creating Character Profiles | Meet The Characters | Who Is Quaraun?
  15. Introduction To The Quaraun Series: aka Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach
  16. The Dazzling Razzberry aka EelKat's Autism Awareness Car
  17. Autism, Asperger, PTSD, & Mad Cow: Writing Clinical Insanity Accurately | What is wrong with Quaraun? 
  18. Quaraun Free To Read Online Complete Chapter Index In Chronological Order
  19. Necromancy: Fact Vs Fiction; Or How Can You Be A Necromancer In Real Life?
  20. 600 Pages: Epic Big Super Sized Novels and Why You Should Never Write One
  21. Why Crude Adult Comedy and Pink Humor Yaoi Is Not Erotica
  22. The FBI In Old Orchard Beach, Maine Trying To Capture A Domestic Terrorist
  23. One Gypsy's Review of My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding
  24. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 1 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  25. Autism, Asperger's, And The Danger of The Self-Diagnosis
  26. Spell Casting Side Effects: Magic In Quaraun's Universe | Author Interview
  27. What Type of Music Does A Gypsy Listen To? My Top 10 Favorite Bands
  28. Beware of White Men In Gypsy Clothing: Fake Psychic Scams
  29. How long does it take to hit 1667 words?
  30. How to Write A Kiss
  31. Phookas
  32. Creating Character Profiles | Meet The Characters | Who Is GhoulSpawn?
  33. Albino Races - Moon Elves In The Quaraun Series
  34. Daily Writing Prompts (June 2017 Archive)
  35. My 30th Anniversary of Being Transgender
  36. Why Are The Quaraun Books Rated M18+
  37. How to Write Hot Sex - Tips For Erotic Romance Authors
  38. The Zaharam-Chapelle-Parunas Ethnographical World Building Questionnaire
  39. The Jiggler & The G-String Teddy Bears | The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane
  40. What exactly makes an Elf an Elf? (What is the definition of an Elf?)
  41. Online Income: The Reality vs The Fantasy
  42. World's Most Haunted Car Merchandise
  43. I Am Not GhoulSpawn | Excerpt From Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  44. Old Orchard Beach Hate Crimes
  45. BoomFuzzy Chapter 1 (Novel Excerpt - Quaraun The Insane)
  46. How can your books have gay transvestite characters and not be Erotica? or Why are gay haters beating up elderly woman for wearing pink for breast cancer awareness and saying she's a transexual because only transexuals wear pink?
  47. EelKat's Guide To NaNoWriMo Featuring The 13 Step Method To Writing
  48. Autism and the Stigmas - Why Can’t You Accept Me As Me?
  49. Maine UFO Sightings
  50. Page 11 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - The Scottish Traveller Crime Family
  51. Psychedelics In A 'High' High Fantasy World (High Elves Getting High)
  52. KBoards, The NaNoWriMo ML Rumor & The Vindictive Stalker
  53. Writing Racist Characters VS The Ku Klux Klan In Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  54. Captured By The Lich Lord | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  55. How To Build A Magic System
  56. I've everything but a kitchen sink. Wait, how'd that sink get in my pocket?
  57. Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies & The Ku Klux Klan of Old Orchard Beach
  58. Autistic Characters In Fiction
  59. City of The Slushies | Chapter 7 | Quaraun The Insane
  60. Manuscript Reading Services or Will You Read My Book and Tell Me What You Think?
  61. Suicide, Rape, and Abuse In The Quaraun Series
  62. Wizards vs Witches vs Sorcerers: How are they different? | Writing Fantasy Books
  63. FRED: Google's Most Deadly Update Ever?
  64. How To Write A Novel: Question Everything Before Putting It In Your World
  65. Content writing: How long do you spend creating a quality blog post?
  66. SBI: To Review or Not to Review? That Is The Question
  67. Twerking Dragons: The Joys Of Writing A Novel With A Voice Recorder
  68. A Day At Witch Pond & Fleeing To The Forest | Summoner of Darkness
  69. Transgender, Transsexual, Transvestite, or Intersex: What Is Quaraun?
  70. Sheep | GhoulSpawn The Crazed & The Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  71. Colour Magic - Gypsy Style
  72. Ideas, Ideas, Ideas (Where Do You Get Them?)
  73. Keywords & Pigeons: How I Do Local Business Marketing
  74. Quaraun & Autism In Fantasy Novels
  75. The Signs Of Old Orchard Beach & The FBI Investigation Of The Town Hall
  76. Tom Addams & The Warrior's Forum
  77. A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond | Summoner of Darkness
  78. An Elf and a Lich in the Gingerbread Pit | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  79. Markiplier Jacksepticeye and Pewdiepie Play Resident Evil 7
  80. Santa Claus: Lich Of The North Pole (Includes NSFW 18+ CBT Yaoi scene)
  81. A Motorhome named 'No Hurry' becomes Rosebud & The Story of Ten Kidnapped Cats
  82. Create Original Content aka I Hate Jackass Gutter Scum Thieves
  83. Lost In a Space That Isn't There: Going North To Head South
  84. An Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink Necromancer
  85. Aspergers is NOT Autism
  86. Is The Quaraun Series Erotica? - No! Here's why...
  87. Summoner of Darkness: GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A Phooka
  88. The Dungeon Master & The 1974 AMC Gremlin
  89. The Lich's True Form Revealed | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  90. Using work you already started for national novel writing month?
  91. World-building In The Quaraun Series: Creating a Fantasy World
  92. Books in Vacationland 2017
  93. BoomFuzzy's Gingerbread House From Hell
  94. Lets Playing Is No Longer Fun
  95. Santa's Floating Dead Body | A Scene From The Summoner of Darkness
  96. The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death
  97. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 2 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  98. What vlogging equipment is needed to get started as a YouTube vlogger?
  99. April 2015 Update: Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach: The Kidnapped Cats
  100. Betta Fish Aesthetic on Pinterest
  101. Domain Name Branding: Should You Put Your Brand Name In Your URL?
  102. Life As A YouTuber: How To Earn An Income From Making Videos
  103. Making YouTube Videos: How did you decide what content to make?
  104. Page 4 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  105. Twighilight Not Twilight
  106. YouTube Index
  107. Amphibious Aliens: My health since the stroke and Etiole . . .
  108. Are You A Satan Worshiper?
  109. Average Typing Speed
  110. Custom Leggings - Designs By EelKat
  111. Ernest Hemingway Style of Writing Literary Fiction Used In Epic Fantasy Novels
  112. Google Flagged Your Site! What To Do? (Help For Web Masters)
  113. How valuable is a writer’s group?
  114. Lives Destroyed: Amphibious Aliens 10th Anniversary Update
  115. Lost In a Space That Isn't There: Santa's Letter To Satan
  116. Summoner of Darkness: Quaraun Meets The Gremlin
  117. The Terrorists of Old Orchard Beach Put My Dad In a Coma
  118. Using Yahoo Answers to promote your book and author website.
  119. What Is This Site?
  120. You Stole My Idea - I was writing a book, but you already wrote it 10 years ago!
  121. City of The Slushies | Chapter 1 | Quaraun The Insane
  122. Creative Writing Story Prompts: September 2017 Edition
  123. Dungeons and Dragons: The Joys Of Calculating Gold Weight In AD&D 2ed
  124. Fabric Designed By EelKat
  125. My Fave YouTubers Play: Dream Daddy - The Yaoi Dad Dating Sim Otome Game
  126. Necromancy: How will resurrection affect society as a whole?
  127. Page 7 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  128. Pink Flowers Aesthetic on Pinterest
  129. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 12 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  130. What will a traveler encounter on the roads in your world?
  131. Are you insane? Am I? Let's Find Out...
  132. Becoming A Better Writer: How to write interesting dialogue.
  133. Character Creation
  134. Copper Cockeral Cards & Gifts
  135. Elves, Drugs, and Opium: A Look At The Drug Use In The Quaraun Books
  136. How To Stay Motivated To Write | Writing Fantasy Books
  137. Jewelry Fashions in Moon Elf Culture | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books
  138. Keyword Marketing - What to do when your best keywords are low demand
  139. Magic Systems and How to Build Them | Writing Fantasy Books
  140. NaNoWriMo Overachievers: How did you do it?
  141. Quaraun Cover Art Gallery | Fantasy Novel Book Cover Art
  142. Quaraun The Insane : Zebulon's Captive: The Last of The Moon Elves
  143. SEO Advantages of Embedding YouTube Videos On Your Website
  144. Summoner of Darkness: A Tavern Scene - Chastity Cages, and Whores
  145. Summoner of Darkness: The Return of ZooLock (free to read online)
  146. Twighlight Not Twilight Part 2
  147. Vanishing Books Update - Why 27 of my books were deleted off Amazon
  148. What is a God in Your Universe? | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books
  149. Writing Maine: How To Write About Maine Life Accurately
  150. What the Ocean Gives Me (How Things In Your Life Affect Your Writing)
  151. City of The Slushies | Chapter 14 | Quaraun The Insane
  152. February 10, 2008 - Harassment Continues in Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  153. How does a bestselling book become a bestseller?
  154. Marriage in Moon Elf Culture | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books
  155. People are not interested in long winded copy
  156. September 26, 2017 - The Latest Attack By The KKK on The Thinner Gypsies
  157. Spending Money To Make Money Online? Should You Do It?
  158. Summoner of Darkness: The Demon Cultists and The Coming of The Darkness
  159. Summoner of Darkness: The Map of The Town (novel free to read online)
  160. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt GOTY | Completionist Run: Episode 01
  161. Trespassers: April 2007 Updates
  162. Turning Scenes, Into Stories & Writing Travelogue Style Fantasy Books
  163. Where To Get Endless Ideas For Short Stories, Novels, and Articles
  164. Writing Controversial Books: Political Correctness & White Supremacists
  165. Are Bad Reviews Good For You?
  166. Branding Yourself While Avoiding The Scams | EelKat On Content Writing
  167. Child Sacrifice in Fantasy Novels | Writing Fantasy Books
  168. How to Handle Writing Fantasy-Horror That Features Violence Against Children
  169. How would you explain your Fantasy world to a stranger?
  170. Page 6 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  171. Summoner of Darkness: HellBorne The Evil, Lord of Black Tower
  172. The return of Friends Are Forever - Banned and Burned it's about to be reborn!
  173. Why do Lovecraftian beings come to earth?
  174. Writing Prompts Syndrome?
  175. Autism = The Crazy Cat Woman of Maine
  176. Autism: Understanding what is really going on inside the child’s head.
  177. But what exactly IS a full time income?
  178. Content Marketing & writing: How I write content for my website
  179. Do you write a novel start-to-finish?
  180. GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover: How To Kill a Lich
  181. How is it that the church leaders are claiming you do not pay tithes?
  182. How To Write A Novel: In what order do you create your world?
  183. I loved my children but I loved BoomFuzzy more | From Quaraun The Insane
  184. My Two Favorite People: FarDarrig and The Baby That Never Should Have Been
  185. Need help writing characters of color | EelKat on racist white readers
  186. Quaraun and the Amazon Adult Filter
  187. Quaraun GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover: The Lover's Triangle
  188. Summoner of Darkness: Where Are You Hiding That Horse?
  189. Tired of people who don’t care. :( Tired of the harassment. :(
  190. What would happen if an Elf adopted a Human baby? | Writing Fantasy Books
  191. Page 10 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  192. Page 3 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  193. Page 8 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  194. SCRIPT FRENZY 2010: I WON! & Psycho Stalker Attacks
  195. Wristlets, Wrist Bags, Mini Clutch, Cosmetic Bags, and Designer Mini Purses
  196. Writing Your Novel: Do you save chapters as individual files?
  197. Are old AD&D adventures still any use to current players?
  198. Autistics Have Feelings Too & Diverse Books Rant
  199. Be True To You: YouTube Gamers: "Faking" a personality until you make it?
  200. City of The Slushies | Chapter 10 | Quaraun The Insane
  201. HEA in Erotica (Should You Write Happily Ever Afters?)
  202. Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies



dancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing banana


“Karma comes after everyone eventually. You can't get away with screwing people over your whole life, I don't care who you are. What goes aroMy Two Favorite People: FarDarrig and The Baby That Never Should Have Been

Need help writing characters of color | EelKat on racist white readers

und comes around. That's how it works. Sooner or later the universe will serve you the revenge that you deserve.” 

― Jessica Brody


"By autistic standards, the “normal” brain is easily distractible, is obsessively social, and suffers from a deficit of attention to detail and routine. Thus people on the spectrum experience the neurotypical world as relentlessly unpredictable and chaotic, perpetually turned up too loud, and full of people who have little respect for personal space." 

— Steve Silberman



Attempt Something New Today! – too many people talk about doing this or that but few actually take action, it's the why behind why so few succeed and so many fail.




I'm not made of money, I'm made out of glitter and kittens. 

~CinnamonToastKen 2017


“When people see you're happy doing what you're doing, it sort of takes the power away from them to tease you about it.” 

― Wendy Mass, Every Soul a Star




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Bullies should never force you to  suffer in silence. If someone has hurt you, let others know.



“One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.” 
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“I would rather be a little nobody, then to be a evil somebody.” 

― Abraham Lincoln


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"Do not fear people with Autism, embrace them, Do not spite people with Autism unite them, Do not deny people with Autism accept them for then their abilities will shine" 

— Paul Isaacs