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November 14, 2023 will be the 10 year anniversary of the November 14, 2013 murder of my 8 month old infant son, at BugLight Lighthouse Art Studio of Southern Maine Community College in South Portland, Maine. If you have any information about who his killer is, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322

NEVER FORGET:

My Son Was Murdered, The Killer Walks Free, Your Child Could Be Next!

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FAQ: What are the most visited pages on this website and how many visits do they get?

Several years ago, I wrote an article on how to write different types of magic uses, or rather how I personally write various types of magic users within the context of my Quaraun books. Today that page is one of my top ten most visited articles. It gets 50 to 500 views/reads/hits/visits per day depending on the time of the years and has had over 200k visits total since it was published.

Amphibious Aliens: Debunking The Atwater Family's Alien Abduction Hoax with more then 30MILLION reads since 2007 and The GoldenEagle: Debunking Stephen King's World's Most Haunted Car Hoax with over tenMILLION reads since 2007 still rank as the two most visited articles on my website, but, neither of those are writing related.

Writing Medieval Servants is my most visited writing related article with over 7MILLION reads.

This website was started in 1996 and has 1 to 3 new articles (all written by me, I am the only writer on this site) published almost daily. In 2017 we crossed ten thousand articles published. As of 2023, EACH article gets MINIMUM 10 to 70 reads PER DAY, with the high traffic articles getting 500+ reads per day.

And since December 2019, my website now gets three hundred thousand to 7 million reads per month - well over ONE HUNDRED MILLION PAGE READS PER YEAR, making it not only the single most trafficked site in the State of Maine, but also one of the most visited websites in ALL OF NEW ENGLAND!

{{{HUGS}}} Thank you to all my readers for making this possible!

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 TRIGGERED! I'm a Straight Cis Woman, but I am deemed Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach, Are you too gay for the bigoted, minority harassing, white power, gay hating psychos of The Old Orchard Beach Town Hall Too? 

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Writing About Abuse In NonFiction -
Losing Anonymity & Fear of Abuser

Writing About Abuse In NonFiction -
Losing Anonymity & Fear of Abuser

Writing About Abuse In NonFiction - Losing Anonymity & Fear of Abuser

I use my real name as my user id EVERYWHERE, including here, this account, on Reddit. Just look at my username beside this post and you'll see it, my real name. If you go to my website's contact me page, you'll also find my home address, email, and phone number. I don't have anything to hide.

Let me give you something to think about...something, perhaps, you haven't considered. Might be a bit eye opening for you, and probably is also something you don't want to hear, but...

I suppose my question is why would you even WANT anonymity?

You say this:

>>and ultimately help other people with mental illness is if I share it. The problem is this puts my anonymity at risk.

You want to HELP people.

But why should I trust you? Think about it? EVERYONE who reads your blog is going to ask that question. What are you gonna tell them? WHY should your readers trust you?

>>Someone suggested I take down all the blogs that mention real people in my life.

Again... why?

What do THEY have to hide? Are THEY criminals?

You know what I say? Dump them. They are worth your friendship. They don't want to be featured on your blog, they can get the hell out of your life.

I've blogged and vlogged every day of my life since 2003. Do you what to know the first thing you see on my blog? A note which says:

"If you're in my life, you're in this blog. If you don't want to be in this blog, then get your ass the fuck out of my life."

Brutal? Maybe. But you'll fast find out who your REAL friends are, and the quicker you get the gutter scum out of your life the better.

I know I come off as brash and harsh, but I, by the time I was 8 years old, I was also so fed up with having sex 10 or 12 times a day that now 50 years later I'm asexual, something I have been since I was 18 and old enough to choose for myself to NOT have sex, all day and all night... I have 4 uncles who are wanted by the FBI, and are living on the run, using fake names and fake ids, and... you start to realize WHY I trust NO ONE who hides behind a fake username and can not tell me their real name?

You want to share a story about mental illness to help others, right?

People with mental illnesses, the people you seek to help, are usually people who have been hurt very badly, often by a close relative whom they should have been able to trust. Most mental illnesses are triggered by your brain's reaction to a traumatic childhood event. MOST mental illnesses are caused by the brain not being able to trust anyone anymore after a breach of trust that caused the mental illness in the first place.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

You want people with mental illnesses, people who struggle to trust ANYONE at all, you want them to trust you, but, you yourself are such an untrustworthy person (in their minds) that you refuse to use your real name... that's how they'll see it. They will immediately look at you hiding behind a fake id and think...

• criminal
• not to be trusted
• has something to hide
• must be a liar
• just like the one who hurt me

People suffering from mental illnesses are NOT going to trust advice from a person who hides behind a fake id.

If you want someone with a mental illness to trust you, you first have to give them a reason to trust you.

I used code names for everyone, including myself, but I'm worried once I break down that wall for myself I bring all of them in the light too. Some of which are not in a good light.

Here's a thought... if you can not talk about a person in a good light, that is a red flag that their name SHOULD be made public, AND should also be given to the police so the police can get them off the streets, so they don't hurt any one else.

Lik I said, if a person is not doing something criminal, then they have nothing to hide and you have no reason to show them in a not good light.

Bad people NEED to be exposed, it's the only way to get the abusers, bullies, beaters, drug dealers, thugs, rapists, murderers, and other criminals off the street.

If they are doing things, that are not able to be talked about in a good light, then, they are bad people, and it is your duty to let other people know who the bad people are so that the bad people no longer get away with being bad people.

And if they complain about having their names on your blog, just say to them: "You should thought of that BEFORE you treated me like shit. If you don't want to be seen as a bad person, maybe you should stop doing bad things for once."

Perhaps none of this is the advice you want to hear, but, I grew up in a hell, no child should ever see, and when I tried to get help, they crippled me. When I tried to escape they cut my cats heads off. When I at 14 years old, I ran to a doctor's office to get help after I was beaten to force a miscarriage, and 3 days later they built a bomb, blew up the doctor's office, killing the doctor. Some of them are in prison now thanks to the FBI raid that took more than a dozen 8, 9, and 10 year old child prostitutes out of that hell.

I know what it is like to grow up with adults, who don't want their names in public.

I also know, that had a local police officer not seen my blog, which listed the full names and the home addresses of the men torturing us, had that officer not seen that blog and forwarded it to the FBI, a lot of little girls would still be living in hell right now.

Save a life, don't hide a criminal. Use real names on your blog. It's their responsibility to be a decent person and if they can't be a decent person, that's their problem not yours.

Never suffer in silence. If someone has hurt you, let others know.

You deserved to be loved. You shouldn't have to feel, that you have to hide who you are, because of something someone else did. Maybe seeing their name in print will be the thing that makes them step back and say: "OMG! What have I done?" And change their life.

>>How I was afraid for life, or anyone's life, because if I didn't do exactly what he said he would kill them and I believed him. When I write about my dad it won't be "Oh, my dad made me mad, gur!" It would be about times like where my dad told me his dog that died of a sickness was killed because of me. That it died choking on a toy of mine. Or his attempts on his own life.

Your dad needs help.

My uncle, who raised me... if I misquoted a prayer, at dinner... he'd take a shovel, and beat one of my cat's heads in. Shatter his brains all over the flood, then yell:

"Look what you made me do you little bitch. I didn't kill that cat. YOU did it. You didn't memorize those verses like I told you. It's YOUR fault that cat's dead now. You get those prayers right or another cat dies tomorrow and that'll be YOUR fault too!"

Your dad sounds like my uncle.

Your dad needs help.

I understand, turning to a blog, then feeling threatened by the man who hurts you.

You want my advice?

Put his name in the blog posts, then forward the blog, to a local social worker, Department of Human Services. You are being abused and they'll get you help, and they get him help too.

Do you know what causes schizophrenia? Decades of psychological abuse, at the hands of a parents you love and trust, but learned to live in fear of... a parents who laid all the blame on you, like your dad did with his dog.

It's not your fault. You need to know that.

That's you've struggled for 3 years writing over 100 blog posts, is heartbreaking. No one should have to suffer like that. No one. Not even you. Remember that.

Because of things that my uncles did... including a shooting, that blew my cousin's eye out of his head while he was standing 3 feet away from me... I have Agoraphobia, Kanner's Syndrome, PTSD, and Schizoaffective Personality Disorder.

What you are describing happening to you... your not dating for fear he'll kill the girl, because that's what he said he'd do, your fear you'll die because he already tried to kill you once, your hearing his voice in your head all day long even when he's not talking, you becoming terrified to make a move.... that's schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia is your brain going into hyper, high speed fear mode, because you are so traumatized by your dad's constant abuse and death threats, that your brain is starting to shut down and tell you to be scared of EVERYTHING.

I grew up with my uncles yelling at me all time time, calling me worthless, unloved, unwanted, always telling me I deserved to die.

All the physical and emotional abuse.... and now, years later... he's out of my life, and I still hear those words in my head. Not his voice any more. Just this voiceless void of "you're worthless, unloved, unwanted and don't deserve to live" playing over and over again in my head.

That's schizophrenia. 

Being traumatized so bad that you are scared to date for fear your dad will kill her - that is schizophrenia.

Being afraid to go outside for fear your dad will kill you if you do - that's schizophrenia.

Your dad telling you you are evil so many times that now it plays in your head even when he's not saying it - that's schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia is similar to PTSD, but worse. PTSD flares up now and again, because of triggers, but schizophrenia never turns off... it means you've suffered from PTSD too long untreated, the abuse has mentally crippled you.

I never knew that, not before the diagnosis. I always thought schizophrenia was like you see in movies, by my psychologist, she says, no, it's when you become so afraid of something, that you can't get it out of your head and you start to live in mortal terror of everything. She says, you really had to be put through a hell of a lot of childhood trauma to even get schizophrenia in this day and age. She says it's a very uncommon diagnosis these days, because we live in a society with so little to to have to fear.

>>I went three years with over 100 blogs of how it is to live with my mental illnesses. I really just want to help other people with my writing. So it's not as "invaluable" as you may think.

Yes... do help other people, do share your story, the world does need to hear it.

Your father has abused you so bad, that you no longer fear just him, but you fear to even live your live.

Your father is a very horrible person.

Your father is a monster.

Your father deserves to have his name put on a billboard that the entire world knows the sort of evil incarnate he is.

If you are keeping anonymous out of fear, the first step to letting go of fear, is to stop being anonymous.

Also, if you've not done so already, find a psychologist to help you as well. Don't get so caught up in helping others that you neglect to help yourself.... and definitely, contact the Department of Human Services and try to get help for your dad. He's in a bad place and, he may not even be aware of it,... turns out, my uncle had a brain tumour.... he had no clue he was doing half the things he did. It's possible, your dad has a serious medical condition causing him to be the way he is. Getting him help, may be as simple as him, getting treatment for brain cancer or as complicated as getting him off drugs.... who knows. But the faster he gets help, the less chance there is of him hurting, possibly killing you, himself, or someone you love.

Regardless of what you do with your blog, definitely get professional help, before your dad hurts someone.

{{{hugs}}} and good luck with everything.

No. I don't, and I not only will stop reading the book, but I will never read that author again, and I will tell everyone I know to avoid that author like the plague.

And I'll tell you why...

My uncle, who raised me... if I misquoted a prayer, at dinner... he'd take a shovel, and beat one of my cat's heads in. Shatter his brains all over the flood, then yell:

"Look what you made me do you little bitch. I didn't kill that cat. YOU did it. You didn't memorize those verses like I told you. It's YOUR fault that cat's dead now. You get those prayers right or another cat dies tomorrow and that'll be YOUR fault too!"

He hoarded cats specifically for this purpose. By the time I was 12 years old I had seen him smash open the heads of 84 cats.

I was diagnosed with PTSD at 8 years old, Agoraphobia at 14. Want to guess why?

A scene like what you are describing... would not only trigger a PTSD meltdown... but it can also trigger a heart attack or a stroke, I know, because I already suffered from both. I'm an author who types with one hand, because a PTSD meltdown in 2010 triggered a stroke that left me with only one usable hand. A person who kills an animal is a wholly unredeemable, completely unforgivable monster who belongs in prison.

Did you know killing a pet in the way you described is a federal offence, and it's NOT the local police who will arrest your character, but the FBI? Go look it up on the FBI.gov website. 25 years in federal prison and $200,000 fines for the action you are describing.

Also, interesting fact: did you know that there is no known case of a serial killer who didn't start out by first killing their own pet? Look it up.

>>A good portion of readers wouldn't even forgive a character for killing Hitler's guard dog in order to kill Hitler.

Did you say that at random or do you actually know the story of Hitler's dog?

After WWI a Jewish soldier, on a dare from his friends, shot a random dog sitting in front of a house. Guess who owned that beagle? Adolf Hitler. And he vowed he'd see ever Jew killed for it. Look it up. He had 20million Jews killed because one Jew killed his dog.

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What do you want to become? 
What did you do today to step closer to that goal?
Whatever you do, be your best at it!
And remember to have yourself a great and wonderfully glorious day!

~EK
EelKat.com
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By EelKat Wendy C Allen

If you ever made fun of or had any part in the destruction of my farm, and the illegal selling of half of my land to Colliard, you shall lose your land.

If you ever made fun of or had any part in my being homeless since 2006 - YES, I AM still homeless in 2023, you shall become homeless.

If you ever made fun of or had any part in the backhoe driving over my house, you shall lose your house.

If you ever made fun of or had any part in my car being cut in half, you shall lose your car.

If you ever made fun of or had any part in my becoming crippled, you shall lose your health.

If you ever made fun of or had any part in the murder of my son, your child shall die an equally horrible death.

Evil men go out of their way to try to drive a person to suicide.

Are you an evil man?

Are you sure you're not?

How many people have YOUR hate filled words killed?

Next time you go to do a mean thing to a fellow human, stop and really think about the consequences of your actions.

Did you ever notice how every one has a story to tell about me, yet not one of them ever speaks the truth?

What lies has YOUR gossiping tongue spread about me?

Did you know...

October 16, 2006, bomb blew up my house because of YOUR lies.

August 8, 2013, the house which replaced the one the bomb blew up, was driven over by a backhoe.

November 14, 2013, my 8 month old infant son was murdered because of your lies.

November 14, 2013, I was beaten up, paralized for 5 months, spent 18 weeks relearning to walk, I'm now crippled for the rest of my life, because of YOUR lies.

Are you proud of what you have done?

Enjoy your eternity in Hell. You earned it. You've certainly worked hard for it.

~EelKat

If you have any information about any of these events, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322