Due to the murder of my family and the resulting court cases, police investigations, and FBI investigations, I no longer have time to daily update this website.

Likewise ALL novel, short story, and article writing projects are on hiatus.

All book releases, book signings, workshops, and convention appearances for 2015 (and unknown amount of time after) are on hold while the murder investigation of my family is ongoing.

Writing advice for the worldbuilding, character creation, and other writing how to articles are on hold.

From now on, the bulk of updates here will be about the investigation into the murder of my family.

No, NOT just THIS author website, not JUST the EelKat pename, not just self published books: ALL 15 (fifteen) of my penames are on hiatus, that includes traditional published books as well, newspaper reporting jobs, editing jobs, my work for Harlequin Romance Novels, my work for Disney... EVERYTHING is on hiatus. Every publishing house I work for, every series I write, every penname I write under: they are ALL on hiatus, ALL projects.

There is NOTHING being published under ANY penname, not for ANY series, not for ANY publisher, from 2015 onward. EVERYTHING is on hold due to the murder of my family. I do not know when or even if, any of the projects will be restarted or finished.

Yes, BOTH the magazines I owned are indefinitely shut down because of this as well, with no plans for either magazine to return. The publishing house I own is also closed to submissions from now on, we will no longer be publishing anything. It is unlikely we will reopen the publishing house either.

All book signing tours, workshops, letures, PAX events, ComicCon events, carnival/festival/state fair/car show events are also canceled. I will not be attending ANY of them. If a venue still has my name listed as a guest/speaker/etc it is because they've not yet removed it. I WILL NOT be there, no matter where it is! 


The ONLY thing continuing from this point on, is THIS website, where I'll post updates on the murder investigation, hopefully every week, but, you know how it is when 10 members of your family are beheaded, it's kind of difficult to have a schedule for anything anymore.

Writing About Abuse In NonFiction -
Losing Anonymity & Fear of Abuser

Writing About Abuse In NonFiction -
Losing Anonymity & Fear of Abuser

Writing About Abuse In NonFiction - Losing Anonymity & Fear of Abuser

I use my real name as my user id EVERYWHERE, including here, this account, on Reddit. Just look at my username beside this post and you'll see it, my real name. If you go to my website's contact me page, you'll also find my home address, email, and phone number. I don't have anything to hide.

Let me give you something to think about...something, perhaps, you haven't considered. Might be a bit eye opening for you, and probably is also something you don't want to hear, but...

I suppose my question is why would you even WANT anonymity?

You say this:

>>and ultimately help other people with mental illness is if I share it. The problem is this puts my anonymity at risk.

You want to HELP people.

But why should I trust you? Think about it? EVERYONE who reads your blog is going to ask that question. What are you gonna tell them? WHY should your readers trust you?

>>Someone suggested I take down all the blogs that mention real people in my life.

Again... why?

What do THEY have to hide? Are THEY criminals?

You know what I say? Dump them. They are worth your friendship. They don't want to be featured on your blog, they can get the hell out of your life.

I've blogged and vlogged every day of my life since 2003. Do you what to know the first thing you see on my blog? A note which says:

"If you're in my life, you're in this blog. If you don't want to be in this blog, then get your ass the fuck out of my life."

Brutal? Maybe. But you'll fast find out who your REAL friends are, and the quicker you get the gutter scum out of your life the better.

I know I come off as brash and harsh, but I, by the time I was 8 years old, I was also so fed up with having sex 10 or 12 times a day that now 50 years later I'm asexual, something I have been since I was 18 and old enough to choose for myself to NOT have sex, all day and all night... I have 4 uncles who are wanted by the FBI, and are living on the run, using fake names and fake ids, and... you start to realize WHY I trust NO ONE who hides behind a fake username and can not tell me their real name?

You want to share a story about mental illness to help others, right?

People with mental illnesses, the people you seek to help, are usually people who have been hurt very badly, often by a close relative whom they should have been able to trust. Most mental illnesses are triggered by your brain's reaction to a traumatic childhood event. MOST mental illnesses are caused by the brain not being able to trust anyone anymore after a breach of trust that caused the mental illness in the first place.

"If you're in my life, you're in this blog. If you don't want to be in this blog, then get your ass the fuck out of my life."

Do you see where I'm going with this?

You want people with mental illnesses, people who struggle to trust ANYONE at all, you want them to trust you, but, you yourself are such an untrustworthy person (in their minds) that you refuse to use your real name... that's how they'll see it. They will immediately look at you hiding behind a fake id and think...

  • criminal
  • not to be trusted
  • has something to hide
  • must be a liar
  • just like the one who hurt me

People suffering from mental illnesses are NOT going to trust advice from a person who hides behind a fake id.

If you want someone with a mental illness to trust you, you first have to give them a reason to trust you.

I used code names for everyone, including myself, but I'm worried once I break down that wall for myself I bring all of them in the light too. Some of which are not in a good light.

Here's a thought... if you can not talk about a person in a good light, that is a red flag that their name SHOULD be made public, AND should also be given to the police so the police can get them off the streets, so they don't hurt any one else.

Lik I said, if a person is not doing something criminal, then they have nothing to hide and you have no reason to show them in a not good light.

Bad people NEED to be exposed, it's the only way to get the abusers, bullies, beaters, drug dealers, thugs, rapists, murderers, and other criminals off the street.

If they are doing things, that are not able to be talked about in a good light, then, they are bad people, and it is your duty to let other people know who the bad people are so that the bad people no longer get away with being bad people.

And if they complain about having their names on your blog, just say to them: "You should thought of that BEFORE you treated me like shit. If you don't want to be seen as a bad person, maybe you should stop doing bad things for once."

Perhaps none of this is the advice you want to hear, but, I grew up in a hell, no child should ever see, and when I tried to get help, they crippled me. When I tried to escape they cut my cats heads off. When I at 14 years old, I ran to a doctor's office to get help after I was beaten to force a miscarriage, and 3 days later they built a bomb, blew up the doctor's office, killing the doctor. Some of them are in prison now thanks to the FBI raid that took more than a dozen 8, 9, and 10 year old child prostitutes out of that hell.

I know what it is like to grow up with adults, who don't want their names in public.

I also know, that had a local police officer not seen my blog, which listed the full names and the home addresses of the men torturing us, had that officer not seen that blog and forwarded it to the FBI, a lot of little girls would still be living in hell right now.

Save a life, don't hide a criminal. Use real names on your blog. It's their responsibility to be a decent person and if they can't be a decent person, that's their problem not yours.

Never suffer in silence. If someone has hurt you, let others know.

You deserved to be loved. You shouldn't have to feel, that you have to hide who you are, because of something someone else did. Maybe seeing their name in print will be the thing that makes them step back and say: "OMG! What have I done?" And change their life.

>>How I was afraid for life, or anyone's life, because if I didn't do exactly what he said he would kill them and I believed him. When I write about my dad it won't be "Oh, my dad made me mad, gur!" It would be about times like where my dad told me his dog that died of a sickness was killed because of me. That it died choking on a toy of mine. Or his attempts on his own life.

Your dad needs help.

My uncle, who raised me... if I misquoted a prayer, at dinner... he'd take a shovel, and beat one of my cat's heads in. Shatter his brains all over the flood, then yell:

"Look what you made me do you little bitch. I didn't kill that cat. YOU did it. You didn't memorize those verses like I told you. It's YOUR fault that cat's dead now. You get those prayers right or another cat dies tomorrow and that'll be YOUR fault too!"

Your dad sounds like my uncle.

Your dad needs help.

I understand, turning to a blog, then feeling threatened by the man who hurts you.

You want my advice?

Put his name in the blog posts, then forward the blog, to a local social worker, Department of Human Services. You are being abused and they'll get you help, and they get him help too.

Do you know what causes schizophrenia? Decades of psychological abuse, at the hands of a parents you love and trust, but learned to live in fear of... a parents who laid all the blame on you, like your dad did with his dog.

It's not your fault. You need to know that.

That's you've struggled for 3 years writing over 100 blog posts, is heartbreaking. No one should have to suffer like that. No one. Not even you. Remember that.

Because of things that my uncles did... including a shooting, that blew my cousin's eye out of his head while he was standing 3 feet away from me... I have Agoraphobia, Kanner's Syndrome, PTSD, and Schizoaffective Personality Disorder.

What you are describing happening to you... your not dating for fear he'll kill the girl, because that's what he said he'd do, your fear you'll die because he already tried to kill you once, your hearing his voice in your head all day long even when he's not talking, you becoming terrified to make a move.... that's schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia is your brain going into hyper, high speed fear mode, because you are so traumatized by your dad's constant abuse and death threats, that your brain is starting to shut down and tell you to be scared of EVERYTHING.

I grew up with my uncles yelling at me all time time, calling me worthless, unloved, unwanted, always telling me I deserved to die.

All the physical and emotional abuse.... and now, years later... he's out of my life, and I still hear those words in my head. Not his voice any more. Just this voiceless void of "you're worthless, unloved, unwanted and don't deserve to live" playing over and over again in my head.

That's schizophrenia. 

Being traumatized so bad that you are scared to date for fear your dad will kill her - that is schizophrenia.

Being afraid to go outside for fear your dad will kill you if you do - that's schizophrenia.

Your dad telling you you are evil so many times that now it plays in your head even when he's not saying it - that's schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia is similar to PTSD, but worse. PTSD flares up now and again, because of triggers, but schizophrenia never turns off... it means you've suffered from PTSD too long untreated, the abuse has mentally crippled you.

I never knew that, not before the diagnosis. I always thought schizophrenia was like you see in movies, by my psychologist, she says, no, it's when you become so afraid of something, that you can't get it out of your head and you start to live in mortal terror of everything. She says, you really had to be put through a hell of a lot of childhood trauma to even get schizophrenia in this day and age. She says it's a very uncommon diagnosis these days, because we live in a society with so little to to have to fear.

>>I went three years with over 100 blogs of how it is to live with my mental illnesses. I really just want to help other people with my writing. So it's not as "invaluable" as you may think.

Yes... do help other people, do share your story, the world does need to hear it.

Your father has abused you so bad, that you no longer fear just him, but you fear to even live your live.

Your father is a very horrible person.

Your father is a monster.

Your father deserves to have his name put on a billboard that the entire world knows the sort of evil incarnate he is.

If you are keeping anonymous out of fear, the first step to letting go of fear, is to stop being anonymous.

Also, if you've not done so already, find a psychologist to help you as well. Don't get so caught up in helping others that you neglect to help yourself.... and definitely, contact the Department of Human Services and try to get help for your dad. He's in a bad place and, he may not even be aware of it,... turns out, my uncle had a brain tumour.... he had no clue he was doing half the things he did. It's possible, your dad has a serious medical condition causing him to be the way he is. Getting him help, may be as simple as him, getting treatment for brain cancer or as complicated as getting him off drugs.... who knows. But the faster he gets help, the less chance there is of him hurting, possibly killing you, himself, or someone you love.

Regardless of what you do with your blog, definitely get professional help, before your dad hurts someone.

{{{hugs}}} and good luck with everything.

No. I don't, and I not only will stop reading the book, but I will never read that author again, and I will tell everyone I know to avoid that author like the plague.

And I'll tell you why...

My uncle, who raised me... if I misquoted a prayer, at dinner... he'd take a shovel, and beat one of my cat's heads in. Shatter his brains all over the flood, then yell:

"Look what you made me do you little bitch. I didn't kill that cat. YOU did it. You didn't memorize those verses like I told you. It's YOUR fault that cat's dead now. You get those prayers right or another cat dies tomorrow and that'll be YOUR fault too!"

He hoarded cats specifically for this purpose. By the time I was 12 years old I had seen him smash open the heads of 84 cats.

I was diagnosed with PTSD at 8 years old, Agoraphobia at 14. Want to guess why?

A scene like what you are describing... would not only trigger a PTSD meltdown... but it can also trigger a heart attack or a stroke, I know, because I already suffered from both. I'm an author who types with one hand, because a PTSD meltdown in 2010 triggered a stroke that left me with only one usable hand. A person who kills an animal is a wholly unredeemable, completely unforgivable monster who belongs in prison.

Did you know killing a pet in the way you described is a federal offence, and it's NOT the local police who will arrest your character, but the FBI? Go look it up on the website. 25 years in federal prison and $200,000 fines for the action you are describing.

Also, interesting fact: did you know that there is no known case of a serial killer who didn't start out by first killing their own pet? Look it up.

>>A good portion of readers wouldn't even forgive a character for killing Hitler's guard dog in order to kill Hitler.

Did you say that at random or do you actually know the story of Hitler's dog?

After WWI a Jewish soldier, on a dare from his friends, shot a random dog sitting in front of a house. Guess who owned that beagle? Adolf Hitler. And he vowed he'd see ever Jew killed for it. Look it up. He had 20million Jews killed because one Jew killed his dog.

So, I was over on Reddit, you like I often am, and found this question. And answered it, like I do. However, the answer I initially gave was a simple generic answer. If you want to read my original answer unaltered, simply click on Reddit's embed feature links which Reddit provides for webmasters to be able to post their answers on their websites, while linking back to the original thread on Reddit (if you didn't know Reddit offered and encouraged the use of this feature, look for it in the "share" features underneath every post, comment, and reply on Reddit).

I am answering random questions today about world building, over on Reddit and decided to take my answers from there and expand upon them even further over here. So that's what this page is. Me rambling on about various aspects of world building techniques I use when writing the Quaraun series. The questions I am answering are embedded here. Clicking the link in the embedded question will take you to the original Reddit page where you can see the original answer along with other people's answers. If you wish to comment, you can do so on the Reddit page where a place to do so is provided.

In any case, as with all of my Reddit answers found on my site here, my original post on Reddit is much shorter then the article here.

Crosspost & Embed Features Are Now Live & Out Of Beta! Yay! (I've Been Beta Testing Both For The Last 6 Months Or So Now Everyone Can Use Them! Go Ahead And Share Any Post You Make or Find Here Via Embed and/or Crosspost! Have Fun!) from StorylWritersGroup

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