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This one....
I stream on Twitch, YouTube, FaceBook, and Twitter. I have no pre-planned schedule for which site I will go live on. I do NOT multi-stream on multiple sites at once, so if I am live on one, I am not live on the other 3. (The FaceBook one will say "Video Unavailable" when not live.)
NOTE: Chat is set to emote only on my Twitch channel and my personal contact information has been removed from my website and every place else, due to the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of false reports of "information", along with vile hateful memes about the murder of my family being sent to me by trolls who think mocking the murder of my family is funny.
FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the of the April 10, 2015 kidnapping of my 12 children by 14 Ku Klux Klan men who invaded our home and the subsequent May 15, 2015 murder of 10 of the 12 whom had their heads nailed to my front door. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322
Vanilla Avallac'h vs Modded Avallac'h
If you are Mormon, Mason, Jewish, or Zoroastrian, take a close look at his gambeson and see what you see. If you are Mormon, Mason, Jewish, or Zoroastrian, you'll see it and you'll know exactly what it means. On the other hand if you are a Gentile or an Infidel, you won't have a clue.
>>Both images on the left from May 2018, the 1st Avallac'h Playthrough
Vanilla Avallac'h has black hair and eyebrows turned grey, and has an appalling LOD of 5 and draw distance of 7, and has no hairworks effects, no wind effects, and while his 3d model & texture files have wrinkles, scars, bruises, bug bites, moles, and veins, you can't see them on the vanilla settings.
Also while Avallac'h's clothen had a RedCloth file, it had very low grade settings/pollies causing the details of the cloth weave, seam stitches, and embroidery to be blurry.
Vanilla Avallac'h has pupils that react to light, like all other characters in the game.
>>Both images on the right from September 15, 2020, the 3rd Avallac'h Playthrough
Modded Avallac'h has a 5,000 LOD and draw distance, resulting in wrinkles, scars, bruises, bug bites, moles, and veins on his skin can now be seen. This also revealed that he has a fine scar down the side of his nose and one over his eyebrow, both were not visible at all with the vanilla LOD settings.
Hairworks and wind effects have been added to his hair.
While we are talking about his hair... notice that he wears payot. If you don't know what payot are or why a man would have them... Google will help you. It brands him as Hasidic.
His hair and eyebrows are changed to blond (as described in the novels), his skin has been lightened several shades (again to match novel descriptions), and he has new texture files for his eyes to make them pale ice aquamarine with pink pupils, as described in the novels.
Modded Avallac'h has pupils that are frozen into tiny pinpricks and never grow or retract with light changes, matching the information we were told about him having suffered severe nerve damage which caused him to have tiny frozen pupils that did not react to light.
Because the file which changes a character's pupils, is NOT connected to their eye file, but rather is connected to their shadow file and changes not only the size and shape of pupils in different lights, it also changes the shadows on their face, and changes the intensity of their makeup.
The result of changing this file, is that shadows on Avallac'h's face are now fainter and his vanilla very dark eyeshadow is now many shades much lighter.
This results in a bright highlight on his cheekbones, making them much paler, and has caused an illusion that his cheekbones are even sharper than before, even though no change was made to his 3D model bone structure... i is simply a result of less shadow below his cheekbones with brighter highlight over them, and fewer shadows around his eyes.
I increased the depth of Avallac'h's RedCloth file (edited the 3D model to make ridged details a deeper depth) and increased settings/pollies causing the details of the cloth weave, seam stitches, and embroidery to be much sharper and more noticable, making the cloth look more real.
And speaking of the cloth looking more real... if you are a Gentile or an Infidel, you won't have a clue what it was I mentioned earlier, so let me point it out... on the beast of his gambeson, right over the nipple, there are slash marks that are stitched into a very specific pattern/design... this marks Avallac'h as a very high ranking priest, one who has access to the deepest, inner circles of the Temple, on par with The Levite in the Bible, it also tells us that he is a virgin and living celibate lifestyle because of his religious rank.
On their own, the slash marks do not identify a specific religion, but one of 5 religions. However, that, with the payot, and the fact that he covers his head when going outside, brands him as a Hasidic Jew.
We further know that in the novels, ALL Elves are Jewish, and the masque of the Elves during the Human invasion, was an outright retelling of the Holocaust, and Avallac'h spoke an ancient dialect of Hebrew and was unable to understand most Humans as he spoke none of the common tongues.
Raise your hand if you ACTUALLY KNOW what Manna is? Sephiroth? Sackcloth and ashes? Golems? The Tree of Life? The Pentagram? Tzitzit? Are you able to explain ANY of those things and what they are, when you encounter them in quests in the game?
Can you explain WHY Geralt meditates on a prayer rug facing East?
Explain to me WHY after her grandmother dies, Ciri shreds her cloths, starts wearing sackcloth, and rolls her golden blond hair in ashes to turn it into dreadlocks, resulting her becoming known as "the ashen haired maid"?
When the game shows you Avallac'h naked in Kaer Morhen, can you read the Hebrew writing tattoo across his chest and abdomen? Do you know what the symbols on his tattoos mean?
After having watched more than 5,000 playthroughs of Witcher 3 on Twitch, I'm continually amazed at how few people ever recognize the plethora of openly Jewish characters and miss the HUNDREDS of Holocaust reference easter eggs that flood every segment of the game.
And now that the books are becoming popular, after 40 years of being ignored by the bulk of society... it likewise amazes me, how many people are so clueless about the Holocaust and what happened to the Jews in Poland, that they read the Witcher novels with blind eyes, and completely miss that the Gnomes and Elves are blatantly Jewish, while the Humans are blatantly Nazi, and the mass murder of millions of Jewish Gnomes and Elves at the hands of their Nazi Human invaders, is an outright retelling of the events of real world history.... of that happened just 80 years ago.
Our world is in a pitiful state if the so recent mass murder of 20 million is so easily forgotten, so soon.
If you know nothing about the Holocaust, you REALLY shouldn't play this game or read the novels it was based on, because you'll completely miss the message they send. It'll go right over your head.
Spend a year or two doing some massive research into the Holocaust, especially what happened in Poland, and THEN play the game and read the novels, and THEN remember that the author who created this: was a Polish Jew who as a small child, saw his friends and family murdered, and then you'll understand why he wrote what he wrote.
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FAQs: Was Avallac'h sexual with Ciri? I keep seeing people saying Avallac'h is overly sexual with Ciri, but after playing the games and reading the novels, I don't see it. What are these people referencing? Do you know?
#SENSATIVE SNOWFLAKE WARNING....
>>>If you've not read the novels, you're about to find out why 83% of readers who were fans of Ciri in the game, end up HATING Ciri after they read the novels.... and why 91% of all Witcher fans voted Avallac'h the most hated character of the franchise, and the character they'd most like to drive a pitchfork through.
>>>If you want to keep liking Ciri through the delusional fanfiction rose coloured glasses of game developers' sweet innocent wholesomeness, don't read any further... because canon Ciri in the novels, ain't nothing like game Ciri, not even close...
Avallac'h being sexual with Ciri is a matter of prudishness and personal perspective of sex.
There are 22 sex scenes in Chapter 5 of Lady of the Lake involving Ciri and Avallac'h. And Avallac'h's story in the novels IS fully 100% focused on sex, sex, sex, and more sex.
and
and
and
but
No.
The problem with people saying Avallac'h was sexual with Ciri, usually goes back to one of 2 scenes:
>>>There is a scene where a mage locks Ciri in a cage, then drugs her by shoving fisstech (cocaine) up her vagina. The mage sexually abuses Ciri something fierce, in one of the most violent scenes of the series, the scene ends with him hanging the cage over his dinner table and ordering 8 of his bodyguards to continue to sexual torture Ciri by shove 8 hot pokers up her vagina.
The mage in this scene is VILGEFORTZ.... but for some reason, people always say Avallac'h was the mage in that scene, even though he was not.
>>>The confusion seems to stem from the fact that it is Avallac'h who is narrating this scene.
We see the scene of Ciri horrifically sexually abused, raped, beten, molested, and tortured, during The Purple Bison Scene that introduces Avallac'h to the series.
Avallac'h is Master Mirror, a Mirror Mage who has tens of thousands of mirrors that act as security cameras, allowing him to see and watch anything that is happening anywhere in the world, so long as there is a mirror in the room of the event.
Vilgefortz has a mirror on the wall, of the room where Ciri is being tortured, and this image of Ciri being tortured shows up in one of Avallac'h's mirrors.
Horrified by what he sees happening to Ciri, Avallac'h sends for Geralt to ask Geralt to go rescue Ciri from her abusers. Avallac'h explains that he has been watching every event in Ciri's life but has stayed out of interfering until now. Avallac'h fears Ciri will be made infertile by the way the men are torturing her with the hot pokers and states that Ciri must have a baby, so this torture must be stopped.
For some reason, it is very common for people to read this scene and then state that it was Avallac'h who locked Ciri in cages, shoved fisstech up her vagina, raped her, molested her, then tortured her.
I do not understand how their reading comprehension can be so bad, but it is.
>>>The other scene people reference is the scene when Ciri is strip dancing and lap dancing for King Auberon, and Auberon is forcing Ciri to take fisstech with him, then takes to sexually abusing, molesting her, beating her up, mentally torturing her with bloody images of mommy Yennefer, and Ciri, runs from Auberon's bed in tears to sleep in Avallac'h's bed instead.
Once again, because Avallac'h is seen in the scene, for some reason, the bulk of readers have so little ability to process any level of reading comprehension, that they later state that the abuse done by King Auberon was done by Avallac'h.
Every single time someone accuses Avallac'h of either being sexual with Ciri or torture, being mean to Ciri, abusing, molesting, or raping Ciri.... they ALWAYS reference one of those 2 scenes.
Avallac'h never abused Cirri physically, mentally, emotionally, or sexually.
Avallac'h never molested Ciri.
Avallac'h never raped Ciri.
Avallac'h never put Ciri in cages.
Avallac'h never tortured Ciri.
Avallac'h had no dungeons.
Avallac'h had no torture devices.
It amazes me the level of severe low IQ and total lack of reading comprehension skills that the average Ciri fan displays when reading the Witcher novels.
A 10 year old child has better reading skills then the average Ciri fan seems to have.
It is clear that the average Ciri fan has no ability to either understand or comprehend anything they read.
If you had the ability to comprehend what you were reading, you wouldn't mistake Vilgefortz for Avallac'h or King Auberon for Avallac'h.
While Avallac'h is clearly sex crazy and has an obsession with Ciri's sex life, it is laughable to even think that he could be sexual with Ciri, considering he's not physically capable of being sexual with anyone at all.
Why?
Well, for starters....
#Avallac'h is a eunuch.
Yes.
Let me repeat that:
#Avallac'h is castrated. He couldn't be sexual with Ciri even if he wanted to be.
You are trying to sexualize somebody who isn't even physically capable of being sexual.
Okay?
And yes, that is a big factor in why I like him.
As a general rule I do not like men.
For the most part, I absolutely hate men.
Why?
I was raped more than 500 times by the time I was 8 years old, because my uncles ran a child prostitution ring to fund their drug addictions.
I learned at a very young age to hate men and sex both.
And that's why I like eunuchs like Lord Sesshomaru and now Avallac'h.
Why? Because a eunuch isn't driven by mad, endless lusts for sex and they actually use their brains to think.
And a eunuch is the only type of man who is safe to be around because a eunuch is the only type of man you can guarantee isn't going to rape you.
Avallac'h is a eunuch. ... but he does not start out one... he gets castrated over the course of his time that Ciri lived with him.
Moving on...
#FAQs: I keep seeing people saying Avallac'h is overly sexual with Ciri, but after playing the games and reading the novels, I don't see it. What are these people referencing? Do you know?
Yes.
I do know.
After searching high and low, I finally found the source of this info and no, it's NOT from either the novels or the games... it's from a series of BookTube videos on YouTube.
But first, let's look at the novels and the game....
>>>The novels are CANON information that was created by the creator. The novels are THE SOURCE MATERIAL, and therefore ONLY info from the novels is LORE-FRIENDLY.
.........................................
>>>>>The games are FANFICTION information that was created by the game developers. The games were created by fans of the novels and therefore EVERYTHING found in the game, that IS DIFFERENT from info from the novels is NOT lore friendly.
For starters, the big thing that gets people accusing Avallac'h of being sexual with Ciri, is the scene in the game when Ge'els says to Ciri:
*"Do you not remember? He (Avallac'h) tried to force you to warm our King's bed. Treated your body like a side of pork!"*
In the more then 500 streamers I have watched play this game, more then half of them translate what Ge'els said to mean: RAPE.
Uhm... yeah... about that. Anyone who has read the novels, knows EXACTLY what Ge'els is talking about.... Ciri was a prostitute and Avallac'h was her pimp.
#1 - Ciri in the novels, among other things, is a prostitute...
...something she started doing at 10 years old, while she was living with Mistel and the Rats, 2 years before she met Avallac'h.... if you want to bitch at someone for turning Ciri into a prostitute, bitch at Mistel, not Avallac'h; Mistel is the one who got Ciri started in that
..............................................
#2 - Avallac'h, among other things, is a pimp and for 8 years of Ciri's life, he dictated who she could and could not have sex with;
..............................................
#3 - Ciri is the 4th great granddaughter of Avallac'h's dead wife Lara Dorren and looks like Lara's twin, so much so, that Avallac'h frequently forgets that Ciri is not Lara,
...which leads to more descriptions of how much Avallac'h's hands are like Mistel's hands,
..............................................
#4 - Lara was 8 months pregnant with another man's baby when she died,
..............................................
#5 - King Auberon is Lara's biological father; sort of - Avallac'h is too- it's complicated -
* among the very long list of careers he's had, Avallac'h is also a cryogenics physicist;
..............................................
#6 - Avallac'h wants to keep his promise to Lara and needs Lara's baby to do so;
..............................................
#7 - Because Ciri looks like Lara, Avallac'h is also plotting to kill King Auberon for having sex with Lara through Ciri.
..............................................
#8 - Avallac'h spends a great deal of time accusing Ciri of stealing Lara's blood and demanding she give it back to him....
..............................................
#9 - Because Avallac'h is absolutely insane, and has a little bit of a bad habit of killing/strangling to death, anyone who mentions Lara's name, King Aubreon is too scared to have sex with Ciri and so never does
..............................................
#10 - While Avallac'h wants Lara and her illegitimate baby back, King Auberon ALSO wants a baby and is planning to take the baby he has with Ciri and not let Avallac'h have it
Most people hate Avallac'h because they say he beat Ciri up, pointing out "look what he did to her face" or "he broke her jaw" or "he tried to strangle her"...
Yes... he did do all of those things
BUT.... look at WHY he did it.
He wasn't an abusive man beating up on some little girl to push her around, like these people are trying to imply...
He was brutally raped, he was seriously injured, and had he not fought back in self defence like he did, Ciri would have killed him. She wasn't gonna stop with brutal violent rape and mutilation. She was about to murder him.
That's why he hit her.
And when people say "but poor Ciri, she was only 12 years old".... yeah... she was, and in the novels, Avallac'h was 7'3" tall and weighed 350lbs, and Ciri was a little girl only 12 years old... Avallac'h was HUGE, and VERY strong... it's why everyone was terrified of him... nobody could take him down, he was very big and very powerful... and look how fast Ciri wiped him out... and you wonder why ENTIRE GALAXIES were hunting her down, wanting to kill her before she destroyed their planet?... look what she did to a man who was a giant and plenty strong enough to get away from a normal, not Elder Blood 12 year old girl.
#11 - while Ciri is a brutal, violent, blood thirsty, emotionless, callus, cold hearted, unempathetic, murderous, smash and trash gangster throughout the whole series, never showing an ounce of guilt or remorse for the massive trails of suffering she leaves behind her everywhere she goes...
...we see in Lady of the Lake, on page 180 the first glimmer of humanity in Ciri, when the rape scene is over and she steps back and looks at what she'd done to Avallac'h,
...and we see Ciri for the first and only time in her life, feel guilt and remorse...
as she looks at Avallac'h's emotionally dead, terrified eyes, and tells the reader...
>>>she has instantly become aware that:
And we see Ciri step back and look at herself, for the first time in 7 novels, and realize that she REALLY is vile, evil, demonic monster everyone has always said she was... people really are trying to kill her because she is the worst monster of them all, she really is the most evil person ever born, the most evil villain ever to live. For the first time, Ciri sees herself as the way the world sees her, and finally understands why everyone is scared of her, why everyone wants to kill her.
And we then see Ciri try desperately to bring Avallac'h back out of his shocked state, kissing him, hugging him, and begging him to forgive her.... in this, the only time in her life, Ciri ever apologies for any of the vile shit we've watched her do throughout the 8 novels of the series.
The last words Avallac'h ever says is: "It is already forgiven, and forgotten", while hugging and kissing Ciri, and he never speaks another word again.... enter the mute, crippled Fisher King
Avallac'h's mind finally snaps, and he shuts down completely, mute and despondent, something we knew was going to happen sooner or later the way his was going
meanwhile Auberon dies, all hell breaks loose and Ciri flees the Elven world
..............................................
So, yes, the Avallac'h scenes do focus heavily on Ciri's sex life, and Avallac'h is doing a hell of a lot of demanding Ciri have sex with King Auberon and give him Lara's baby, while threatening to kill King Auberon if Auberon has sex with Lara through Ciri.... but Avallac'h himself is never sexual with Ciri, even though the whole chapter involving him, focuses heavily on sex...
...we do spend the entire of chapter 5 of the novel Lady of the Lake:
That said, let's look at the issue at hand....
#Was Avallac'h ever sexual with Ciri?
The answer is:
#NO!
And for people who point out... *"But that rape on the beach!"*
Yeah... about that...
There was that one beach scene ... which may or may not count as Avallac'h being sexual towards Ciri depending on how you look at it.
He WAS going after Lara, not Ciri, and mixed up Ciri for Lara since Ciri and lara look like twins... and Ciri never was the intended target.
Also, other pick Ciri up and then toss her on the beach, he didn't do anything even remotely sexual in this scene.
So... I kind of don't count that one as Avallac'h being sexual towards Ciri.... and he never actually raped Ciri. He was going to, then didn't because he remembered Lara was dead, and this wasn't Lara. Making it VERY clear that had Lara been around, Avallac'h most definitely would have raped Lara.... but likewise making it very clear that he had no sexual interest in Ciri at all
As a general rule, we tend to sweep that scene under a rug around here, but asked, I do acknowledge that, yeah... there IS a 2nd rape scene in chapter 5 of Lady of the Lake... yep, that happened.
Let's pretend it didn't and keep right on going.... I talk about the 2nd rape scene in more detail in another panel. It's the "Poor Ciri" panel if you really want to know what the 2nd rape scene was.
On page 243 of the novel Tower of Swallows we are told outright, very specifically, that...
#AVALLAC'H IS ASEXUAL
...and not only is Avallac'h asexual but...
#AVALLAC'H HATES SEX!
...he has a 3 page long rant (pages 243 to 246) on the evils of sex, why humans are no different from cockroaches because like cockroaches all they do is fuck...
In utter disgust he says to Geralt...
*"Sex. There's nothing in it to fascinate. Nothing that has the exciting appeal of novelty. ... Unbridled lust never leaves you, sex totally governs you, it's a drive more powerful even then the survival instinct. To die? Why not, if one can but fuck around beforehand. That is your entire philosophy." ~ The Knowing One, Crevan Espane aep Caomhan Macha alias The Great Avallac'h Aen Saevherne, from chapter 7 of Tower of Swallows*
This is followed by Avallac'h's biggest scene of the series: a 7 page long rant on ovaries, orgasms, the glories of Lara Dorren, the evils of Creaganon of Lod, details on how he cloned himself to create Lara, the story of Lara's death, the revelation that Avallac'h still has Lara's body which he has turned into white marble to preserve her, the detailed family tree from Lara to Ciri, and the fact that Ciri is to be the Mother of the Child of the Elder Blood and her ovaries are ripe for fertilization right now.
This huge monologue is seen by many readers as Avallac'h being horrifically sexually attracted to Ciri, and yet, read EXACTLY the phraseology and terms he uses here...
...he speaks of sex in a cold manner of revulsion and disgust, while using scientifically accurate Latin medical terminologies... this is most definitely NOT sexual attraction, but rather a deranged, cold, calculating mad scientist - one of the 3 most evil villains of the entire franchise - bragging to Geralt his master plan, that he's about to kidnap Ciri and use her in a science experiment to breed her in a very Dr Frankenstein attempt to resurrect his dead wife Lara Dorren....
...Avallac'h outright TELLS Geralt he's a villain and is about to kidnap Ciri and use her blood to restore life to his dead wife Lara.... then takes Geralt into the next room and SHOWS HIM Lara Dorren's dead body!
Avallac'h explains that he used too much of his own blood to clone himself and create Lara, so he can't use his own blood to restore life to Lara and needs Ciri's blood to do it instead, but he doesn't think Ciri's blood is strong enough, so he wants instead a female baby from Ciri, which he intends to raise, then marry, and Ciri's baby will then give birth to Avallac''s baby, which will be The Child of the Elder Blood, having 2 Elder Blood parents - Ciri's baby and Avallac'h - and therefore the 2nd baby's blood should be strong enough to resurrect Lara Dorren.
However, Avallac'h, knowing how sex crazy Geralt is, is painting giant penises on the wall while he is telling Geralt of his master plan, and Geralt, can't stop lusting after the giant purple penis on the wall long enough to hear a word of Avallac'h's master plan.
During this scene we see only one emotion:
#anger...
extreme anger
a lot of extreme anger
If you didn't think Avallac'h was mean, you certainly will by the time you get to the end of The Purple Bison scene.
We see him struggling to reign it in.
Avallac'h is very angry in this scene:
In this, The Purple Bison scene, Avallac'h is just plain angry....
and getting more angry every second....
he is a raging inferno...
and he is blaming EVERYTHING that has ever gone wrong in his life, in Lara's life, in Ciri's life:
...on sex.
And he lists off all the times sex has screwed him over...
Avallac'h makes no secret of the fact that he's not only asexual... he absolutely HATES sex with a vengeance and wants to totally eradicate sex from the universe.
Then some 300 pages later in the novel Lady of the Lake, we see Ciri now living with Avallac'h and his harem of hundreds of wives.
His 5 favorite wives never leave his side and we see that while he's a wild playboy, always hugging and kissing the women who hang all over him, we are also told he's not having sex with any of them, a detail we are told, because it's driving Ciri mad that Avallac'h is prancing around flaunting himself in front of the women, but never having sex with any of them... and we see good little "lesbian" Ciri upset over this because she's sex crazy out of her mind and the only thing she wants to do is watch Avallac'h fuck somebody.
We next see several scenes of Avallac'h taking Ciri horseback riding around the Lake of Avalon. During these scenes we see Ciri retelling past events from her childhood to Avallac'h, and every time she gets upset and starts crying, we see Avallac'h squeeze Ciri's leg, rub Ciri's thigh, pat her knee, sing to Ciri, play a flute for Ciri, and hug, embrace, or kiss Ciri....
Remember, Avallac'h is BOTH Lara Dorren's father and husband.
He cloned himself to create Lara because he was alone and lonely.
And while Lara saw him as her father, Avallac'h never saw Lara as his daughter, thinking of her only as his wife created in a test tube in his lab, from a fetus he took from King Auberon's wife Shaindel. Thus Avallach saw King Auberon as Lara's father.
However, Avallac'h DOES see Ciri as his grandchild. Avallac'h is Ciri's 5th great-grandfather and that is how he sees her.
Avallac'h is the last of his kind.
No... Avallac'h is NOT an Aen Elle Elf.
He just LIVES WITH the Aen Elle Elves because he is the last of his kind and he has no other type of Elf out there similar to himself.
We re told this several times, by Avallac'h, by Eredin, by King Auberon, and by Starry Eyes.
The Skellige Druids, Eredin, King Auberon, and Starry Eyes, all tell us that Avallac'h is NOT even an Elf at all, but is rather a giant serpent, The Ancient Unseen Elder God From Whom All Elder Blood Flows, who is disguised as an Elf.
Starry Eyes tells us that the Unicorns (a race of shapeshifting humans who can take the form of horses) successfully eradicated the Elder Gods, all but one, this one.
He was too powerful to defeat, he could not be killed, but e was so obsessed with guarding Lara Dorren's grave, that he was considered mostly harmless and just left in his cave to mourn Lara. ...
However, now that Avallac'h has left the cave of Lara's tomb, taken on the form of an Elf and has gone after Lara's 4th great-granddaughter Ciri, the Unicorns have got him back on their radar, as he could just snap his fingers and wipe out the entire universe if he had the mind to do so... he is after all The Ancient Unseen Elder God From Whom All Elder Blood Flows... or so says Starry Eyes to Ciri.
Avallac'h is the last of his kind: An Elder God. Ciri -who inherited Avallac'h's Elder Blood through Lara Dorren- is the only family he has left. Family is first and foremost in Avallac'h's mind. There is nothing more important to Avallac'h then having a family. His extreme desire for a family is the driving motive behind everything he does.
Avallac'h deeply loves Ciri. Avallac'h is the single, solitary, one, and ONLY person in the franchise who actually, truly, loves Ciri.
But it is not a romantic love. It's the love of a grandparent who dotes on his favorite grandbaby.
Everyone else, including Mommy Yennefer, has some sort of an ulterior motive driving them to be a part of Ciri's life. Some want Ciri to save the world, some see Ciri as the Messiah, some see Ciri as a threat and needs to be eliminated, some see Ciri as the key ingredient to ending the massive world-wide outbreak of infertility....
While Avallac'h initially wants Ciri for a baby.... we see Avallac'h toss that goal aside, when Ciri after living with him for 8 years, says she will give him a baby, but will leave immediately after the baby is born, and we see a tearful Avallac'h begging Ciri to stay with him, while explaining how desperately lonely he has been for centuries and Ciri is the first time he's had someone who didn't hate him, didn't fear him, and was willing to spend time with him and talk to him.
We see Avallac'h step up as the single, solitary, one, and ONLY person in the franchise who is willing to die to protect Ciri, when the Unicorn army attacks and Avallac'h pushes Ciri aside, coming between her and her attackers and becoming critically injured, nearly dying from his injuries.
...and we see Ciri stunned by this, as no one has ever protected her before, no one has ever risked their life for her before... not even Geralt, the guy who has been paid to protect her.
Avallac'h's devotion to his beloved granddaughter Ciri is unfathomable and unshakable.
We are told that Avallac'h is very old, ancient, elderly, in poor health, struggles to get around, rides on a horse everywhere (even indoors) because he struggles to stand or walk on his own... and yet, we also see him fiercely, viciously fight Ciri's attackers, while younger, fit, able bodied men turn tail and run, leaving Ciri defenceless.
Avallac'h's love for Ciri is undeniable. He makes it very clear, many times that he is going to do anything to protect her and keep her safe.
Because Ciri looks identical to Lara Dorren, to the point that Avallac'h repeatedly mistakenly calls Ciri 'Lara', which at first upsets Ciri, but as the story moves on and Ciri's lust for Avallac'h grows, Ciri takes to wearing Lara's cloths and trying to seduce Avallac'h, while telling him:
"You ought to want to have sex with me, I look like like your Lara"
and progressing to eventually saying "But I am your Lara."
Much to Avallac'h's frustration and horror, Ciri can't stop shoving her 12 year old pussy in Avallac'h's face every 5 sentences, so Avallac'h sends her to have sex with King Auberon to get her horn dog psycho crazy lusts out of her system. Only problem is Auberon wants nothing to do with sex with a human.
However, Avallac'h himself being a strip dancer and spending 30% of his 32 pages of novel time prancing around naked and waving his penis in the air, doesn't help Ciri's ever growing lusts for him.
Okay... why does everyone keep calling Ciri a lesbian again?
And apparently, due his being the BIGGEST character in the franchise, standing at 7'3" tall in the novels, Avallac'h also apparently has the biggest penis in the franchise... according to good little 12 year old "lesbian" Ciri, who has 68 other penises in her past to compare Avallac'h's to.... yeah... and you wonder why I call Ciri a whore? How many penises did your 12 year old daughter have in her past at age 12?
In between screaming and yelling and bitching at everyone, while:
*(BOY, is Avallac'h ever high strung and ready to kill everything that moves!!! He is in desperate need of a tranquilizer... or just having sex with somebody, anybody... that seems to be his problem. He's refusing to have sex because he can only have sex with Lara and it's driving him out of his mind and making him VERY violent.)*
In between all of that ... we get interrupted every few paragraphs by Avallac'h running by naked, playing a magic Pied Piper flute that causes women to strip naked and run after him... every time Ciri wanted to find Avallac'h she knew all she had to do was look for a giant herd of panty tossing, naked women and Avallac'h would be strip dancing somewhere in the middle of it.
Uhm... so, Ciri is a lesbian and she's about to kill everyone in the universe because she can't get enough of Avallac'h's penis, and is gonna start killing everyone because he won't have sex with her, his 12 year old grandbaby.
And Avallac'h is asexual, and he IS killing everybody because he wants to have sex with Lara but she's dead, and now he's got Ciri who looks like Lara with him, so he's going to kill everybody who gets near Ciri to make sure nobody has sex with her, even though he's throwing her in bed with other men and try to get other men to have sex with her... because he needs a baby from Ciri to resurrect Lara so he can have sex with her... and he's saying he's asexual, but there he is dancing around naked in a rock concert-style mosh pit of screaming fan girl groupie women who are throwing their panties at him, while he's got 101 karma satar positions going on with these women who are just as naked as he is.
Ciri and Avallac'h just need to have sex with each other before they kill everybody around them, because when you get right down to it that's the whole problem.
And uhm...
Methinks Andrzej Sapkowski needed a dictionary because clearly he doesn't know what either a lesbian or an asexual is.
Bisexual and lesbian are 2 very different things.
Having sex with ONE female, in between shaking your ass in front of every man you see, while chasing down every penis in the village, then raping and killing every man who refuses to have sex with you... is not exactly lesbian.
Likewise celibate and asexual are also two very different things.
Just because you aren't having intercourse with the thousands of naked women who are stroking your penis while you dry hump them.... doesn't make you asexual.
If you thought Dandelion was the biggest man whore in the franchise... wait till you meet Avallac'h.
No one can out slut Avallac'h... not even mega-adulterous-whore-bitch-super-slutizoid Triss Merigold can out-slut Avallac'h, who reigns most definitely as the biggest slut of the Witcher franchise and who in the novels has 4 foot long blond Rapunzel hair, looks like a woman, and is apparently also a transvestite?
Oh be still my beating heart... it is fucking Quaraun!
Yai!
No wonder my fans were sending me copies of Lady of the Lake and telling me to read the amount of plagiarism Andrzej Sapkowski was doing of my Quaraun novels.
In the scene when we see 12 year old Ciri mentally decide she is going to rape Avallac'h, before the several weeks she spends plotting and planning when, where, and how to rape him... he's wearing a lilac lace ball gown, and it's seeing Avallac'h dressed as a woman that send Ciri's sex crazy fit over the top and sets her off plotting to rape him.
After weeks of both Avallac'h and King Auberon refusing to have sex with Ciri, Ciri corners Avallac'h, rapes him - 3 times - while screaming *"Make me pregnant right now. You ought to want to, I look like your Lara!"* then nearly kills him because she's so enraged that he's not excited over her, resulting in him beating the hell out of her while fighting back in self defense when sex crazy psycho bitch Ciri tries to kill him for refuses to have sex with her.
So, Ciri and Avallac'h finally end up having sex, but they both nearly kill each other doing it. Ciri ends up with a broken jaw and no teeth, and Avallac'h ends up castrated, with both legs broken, unable to walk to for the rest of him life and drags himself back to the lake to spend the rest of his life sulking on a rowboat, refusing to speak to anyone, and ends up becoming The Fisher King.... the infamous mute crippled fisherman who goes on to marry the Lady of the Lake.
Ciri continues on with her life, is reunited with Geralt and mommy Yennefer, shit hits the fan again, Ciri has no one left to turn to, so she heads back to the lake of Avalon to take care of the mute, crippled Fisher King, her Dryad mutations finally take place, she becomes the Lady of the Lake and married The Fisher King.
Yep. Ciri and Avallac'h are husband and wife, as The Lady of the Lake and The Fisher King.
Throughout it all we NEVER ONCE see Avallac'h behave sexually towards Ciri, not even years later after they are married, and every time 12 year old Ciri tries to force him to have sex with her, we see him constantly pushing Ciri away while growling, grumbling, raving, and bitching about the evils of sex because sex is what took his wife Lara from him.
Avallac'h outright tells us that he's both asexual AND he's also a virgin... stating that he's refusing to cheat on his beloved Lara and will never have sex with anyone, now that Lara is dead.
Lara was his mate and he wants no one else. He says so, repeatedly.
We see 3 scenes, that show us Avallac'h romantically involved with someone, 5 someones at the same time in each scene, and it's not Ciri:
Each time, we see Ciri and 5 she-elves fighting over Avallac'h's spending to much time with Ciri.
Ciri identifies these women as Avallac'h's 5 favorite wives; she also describes them as strip dancers, and describes them as constantly rubbing themselves all over Avallac'h with him NOT pushing them away and amorously touching and kissing all 5 of them.
We are shown 3 different scenes of Avallac'h being very sexual with these 5 women, and 12 year old Ciri fuming in jealousy infuriated rage, over the fact that he's being sexual with them and not her.
We also see in all 3 of those scenes, Avallac'h push the women away, ordering them to leave so he can be alone with Ciri, them enraged thinking he's being sexual with Ciri while he's alone with her, and Ciri likewise thinking this is why he sent to women out, followed by Ciri's being enraged over Avallac'h's refusal to be sexual with Ciri no matter how much she flings her 12 year old pussy in his face.
While it's made very clear that Avallac'h loves Ciri more than he loves the 5 wives, it's also made clear that he loves Ciri as his grandbaby and has no sexual or romantic desire for Ciri at all, while his love for the 5 wives is very sexual, lustful, and romantically inclined.
We are also shown over and over again that Avallac'h is blindly in love with Lara Dorren on psychotically extreme levels, including one scene in the novel Tower of Swallows that walks the disturbing path of necrophilia, with Avallac'h outright admitting that Lara is the only one he's ever had sex with, just not while she was alive... but rather after he buried her and her lover Creaganon, then killed himself on their grave.... and Avallac'h is a wraith which seems to be this bigger WHY behind his refusal to have sex with anyone.
In the novels we were told Avallac'h had commit suicide after his wife Lara Dorren was murdered and became the wraith who both guarded her tomb and watched over her descendants, including Lara's 4th great granddaughter Ciri.
The series ends with Cirri transformed into The Lady of the Lake and Avallac'h transformed into The Fisher King and them living together on the Lake of Avalon as a married couple... with Ciri in the very last sentence, having a lust filled, sex crazed obsession over Sir Galahad and leaving with the knight, while mentally plotting to go to Camelot with Galahad then rape and kill the knight in Mistle's name and then return back here to Avallac'h in Avalon.
And from the novels we move on to the game that was based off of them...
In the game Witcher 1, we are shown Ciri and Avallac'h living together on the Lakeshore, now transformed into their Lady of the Lake and The Fisher King forms, and if you try to go after Ciri/the Lady's sex card, she'll give you a blunt dialogue telling you very explicitly about her sex life with Avallac'h.
In both Witcher 1 and Witcher 2, Triss Merigold tells you that Ciri and Avallac'h are lovers and Ciri will never return because she is in love with Avallac'h and refuses to leave him.
In the game Witcher 3, we are told multiple times that Ciri and Avallac'h are romantically involved, including to be told that they had sex while at Kaer Morhen, the night after Vesemir's funeral... and this DOES directly contradict the information we were given in the novels.
In the game, same as we saw in the novels.... it is CIRI who is chasing after Avallac'h like a drooling slobbering slut assed whore.
In the game, same as we saw in the novels.... Avallac'h remains emotionally indifferent towards Ciri and shows no romantic or sexual desire for her at all.
In the game, same as we saw in the novels, Avallac'h is fiercely protective of Ciri, his devotion unshakable, his love for her extreme, his willingness to die for her unfathomable.
And in the game, like in the novels, we see Isilira living with Avallac'h and jealousy fighting with Ciri over his giving too much attention to Ciri... interestingly though, in the game, we are told that Isilira is Avallac'h's sister... which completely contradicts what we are told in the novels: that Avallac'h is the last of his kind and Ciri his only living family.
.....
So, where do people get the idea that Avallac'h was ever sexual with Ciri?
The exact same place they get the idea that Avallac'h is a dungeon master with torture devices... a BookTuber on YouTube who "read" the Witcher novels on video, and CHANGED THE NAMES of some characters.
Specifically, she REMOVED the names: Leo and Vilgizforzt, and replaced both names with Avallac'h.
With the popularity of the Netflix series, millions have scrambled to read the books. However, rather then buy a hardcopy for themselves, most people are opting to find the books "free online" resulting in an onslaught of millions of views going to this woman's YouTube videos.
Because she DOES NOT TELL YOU that she deliberately swamped out character names, millions of unsuspecting "readers" have been duped into believing that Avallac'h appears in all 8 novels, is a primary villain, is a dungeon master, puts Ciri in cages, tortured Ciri, and horrifically sexually abused her... when in fact, he did none of those things.
Vilgefortz is the primary villain of the series and appears in all 8 novels. He is a human mage who like Avallac'h ALSO wants a baby from Ciri.
While Avallac'h wants his dead family back however, Vilgefortz is on a power trip and believes that drinking Elder Blood will make him the most powerful mage in the universe.
Unlike Avallac'h, who simply wanted his dead wife Lara back, and therefore only wanted ONE baby from Ciri.... Vilgefortz wanted an endless supply of Elder Blood that he could drink daily and so wanted HUNDREDS of babies from Ciri.
Vilgefortz, not only tortured Ciri and kept her in cages, he also built a machine, that he hooked up to Ciri's ovaries to pump her eggs out, so that he could grow hundreds of Elder Blood babies in his lab, so he can have an endless supply of babies to eat.
While we are told Avallac'h has a lab, we never see it. On the other hand, well over 200 pages of the story takes place inside of Vilgefortz lab.
Avallac'h was a poet, musician(flutist), and painter/artist first and foremost. Avallac'h in the novels is a DRUID (not a mage) and lives in a cave in Skellige in the Druid Grove with the Druids. He identifies himself as "A Fauna Rights Activist" and is outcast by other Elves because he defends Human Rights, and does not eat Humans, like other Elves do.
Avallac'h appears in only 2 of the 8 novels, in only 3 chapters, on only 32 pages, in only 48 sentences, and has only 7 speaking lines; making him one of the most minor characters in the entire franchise.
The bulk of Avallac'h's time is spent:
and
His stripper bodyguard wives, his adopted Human children, and his pet monsters all roam around the fields nearby him, in every scene he appears in.
Though he is a mage in the game, Avallac'h IS NOT A MAGE in the novels! He like Ciri, is an Elder Blood, so has abilities similar to a mage. Geralt and Ciri both describe Avallac'h as "an elven sorcerer" and both times Avallac'h gets upset and says he is not a mage.
We never see Avallac'h with dungeons, torture chambers, torture devices, or cages, and we never see him sexually abusing anyone, quite the contrary we see him horrified whenever he hears that Ciri has been sexually abused.
On the other hand...
Vilgefortz is sadistic and takes great delight in torturing people. He is the mage with the dungeons, torture devices, and cages.
And then there is Leo. In the novels nearly as much as Vilgefortz, Leo has hundreds gallows, cages, torture devices, torture chambers, and gladiator ring fighting pits. Leo brutalized Ciri worse than anyone else. Leo tortured Ciri, caged Ciri, made iri fight monsters for crowds of gamblers, and sexually abused Ciri something fierce.
While we never see a scene of Avallac'h and Vilgefortz together, we do see a scene of Leo and Avallac'h at the same time.
Avallac'h, is Master Mirror.... yep... he has hundreds of mirrors everywhere and by looking into any of them, he can see through any other mirror any where in the universe. And he has spent the last 200 years watching Lara's descendants, including Ciri.
Avallac'h stays back and watches as their lives happen and doesn't interfere, until he sees Leo force feed Ciri fistech, strip her naked, lock her in a gallows over his dinner table, and order 8 of his soldiers to shove hot pokers up her vagina.
Avallac'h sends for Geralt, shows Geralt the image in the mirror, and asks Geralt to go rescue Ciri, but Geralt says he's glad to be rid of "that whinny, annoying, cunt bitch" and declares he's going to take drinking buddy Regis to find fuck buddy Dandelion and spend the rest of the week in a brothel celebrating the fact that he's finally rid of Ciri from his life.
Thus why Ciri ends up living with Avallac'h when Avallac'h casts a spell that gives Ciri the sword Zireael, which she uses to kill everyone in Leo's castle, and then flees on the fire-winged black pegasus that Avallac'h sent to meet her.
The pegasus flies into a tower, and Ciri falls out of the tower portal and lands on Avallac'h, thus how they met.
King Auberon, ALSO wanted a baby from Ciri, but he wanted to use the baby as a weapon to kill the Humans with.
Since Vilgefortz, Leo, and Auberon were all hunting Ciri, Avallac'h put a massive barrier up around the Lake and Ciri lived with him in peaceful bliss on the shore of Avalon.
King Auberon, not Avallac'h, was the one who was very, very, VERY sexual with Ciri... to the point that we see 8 seperate scenes of King Auberon molesting Ciri, sexually abusing Ciri, and AUBERON not Avallac'h is the one who is always sexually touching Ciri.
Yes, we see Avallac'h constantly touching Ciri, but it's NOT sexual. He hugs her when she cries. He squeezes her leg to try to calm her down when she's bawling her eyes out over her grandmother's death. Every time Avallac'h touches Ciri, it's always this way.
Ciri constantly tries to seduce Avallac'h, and as fast as she strips her clothes off, he's putting her clothes back on her and telling her to stop acting like a savage.
On the other hand King Auberon is the one always stripping Ciri's clothes off and groping her breasts.
Auberon takes sadistic delight in sexually molesting Ciri almost to the point of orgasm and then walking out of the room, which results in Ciri running crying to Avallac'h screaming: "Auberon won't give me an orgasm!"
Again.... there are many men sexually abusing, molesting, and outright trying to rape Ciri, but Avallac'h IS NOT one of them.
The scenes we see of Avallac'h are brief and always somehow connected to the Lake, which he never gets very far away from... and in total last for only a miniscule 32 pages out of a series 5,000 pages long.
In his 2 biggest scenes, we see him on a boat ride with Ciri, and horseback riding with Ciri, both on the Lake of Avalon.
In his Fisher King form, in both the novels and the games, we see Avallac'h transformed from a villain to a very protective Holy Grail Knight who will stop at nothing and do anything to protect Ciri/The Lady of the Lake and keep her safe.
Avallac'h is portrayed as having a strong connection to water and is never seen getting out of sight of the Lake. In nearly every one of his scenes he is scene either sitting on the beach of the Lake under the apple trees that always bloom of spring, picking flowers in the field around the Lake, riding his horse around the Lake, or fishing off his boat on the Lake.
The scenes we see of Avallac'h in both his Elf form and his Fisher King form, are brief and always somehow connected to the Lake, which he never gets very far away from... and in total last for only a miniscule 32 pages out of a series 5,000 pages long.
Auberon is on almost twice as many pages as Avallac'h is, and he's considered one of the most minor characters in the series.
The scenes of Leo and Vilgefortz are HUGE and take up the bulk of all 8 novels, with the two characters appearing in almost every chapter.
This particular YouTuber, effectively removed both Vilgefortz and Leo from the novels, and made Avallac'h a primary character, by saying 'Avallac'h' every time she SHOULD have said 'Vilgefortz' or 'Leo'.
This resulted in several misconceptions have risen up about Avallac'h.
This YouTuber is largely responsible for the bulk of hate that gets wrongly and inaccurately thrown at Avallac'h.
Avallac'h is incorrectly being blamed for doing things that were done by Leo and/or Vilgefortz.
The result is everyone who watched her read the Witcher novels on YouTube, instead of READING THE NOVELS FOR THEMSELVES... got themselves punked by a prankster who deliberately swapped out character names, in order to change the story.
The lesson here: buy the hardcopy paperbacks and read the novels for yourself - don't rely on listening to someone else read the books, because unless you have the book in your hand, you have no way of knowing if they are ACTUALLY reading the book or not.
This current mod-making playthrough, is prep for a future fully-lore-friendly playthrough....
The ultimate goal of my mod making playthrough, is to make every character as lore-friendly as possible to how they were described in the novels.
Most specifically though we are transforming as much of the game as possible to match Chapter 5 of the novel Lady of the Lake, when Ciri lived with Avallac'h the first time, on The Lake of Avalon.
This current playthrough is largely a lot of test runs of hundreds of mods. It is being played open world with quests rarely happening, to allow us to run tests of various mods as I build them.
Due to the fact that the game engine, scripts, and other files is often open and being edited while I'm playing the game, this current playthrough is very unstable with bugs and glitches happening daily and game crashes happening, sometimes as often as every few minutes.
You are witnessing a live overhaul and full rewrite of the game, that when finished will be used in a complete (more normal style) playthrough of the game.
However do not expect to see the lore-friendly playthrough any time soon.
I began building this overhaul mod May 13, 2018 and have worked on it daily for 4 to 12 hours a day, all of it streamed here on Twitch, and...
...while we've now altered over 2,000 script files, more than 7,000 textures, several hundred meshes, 400+ xml files, dozens of ini files, and have now begun work on changing 3D models...
...this project is far from finished and could see as much as another 3 years of daily work before completion.
Motherboard: Asus Z170
Processor: i7-7000 @4.20GHz
RAM: 16 GB
Graphics Card: NVirdia 1070 GTX
Capture Card: AVerMedia Live Gamer HD
NOTE: Chat is set to emote only on my Twitch channel and my personal contact information has been removed from my website and every place else, due to the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of false reports of "information", along with vile hateful memes about the murder of my family being sent to me by trolls who think mocking the murder of my family is funny.
FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the of the April 10, 2015 kidnapping of my 12 children by 14 Ku Klux Klan men who invaded our home and the subsequent May 15, 2015 murder of 10 of the 12 whom had their heads nailed to my front door. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322
FAQs: Can I visit you?
No.
No, I do not allow home visits from anyone for any reason - not any more.
I used to, but never again.
Reason: I'm a little bit famous, in fact, I'm quiet a lot famous, and in the past, I agreed to a home visit, and that person, didn't recognize my name at first, until they met me face to face and immediately realized who I was, and where they were standing - my farm was in a rather famous movie, so it's easily recognized by anyone who has ever seen that movie, and that movie, it's a BIG movie, written by an even more famous than me Maine author, and while I write under a penname, my face is on my books, and I'm easy to recognize, and that last time I let someone into my home - they realized who I was, what my farm was, what movie I was connected to, and they ran to social media to tell their friends they had meet me, including to publicly post where I live... by the end of the week I had dozens of paparazzi and some 30,000 (yes thirty thousand - yes I am that famous) screaming fanboys from all over the country in my driveway and the local police had to send out 42 officers to try to deal with it - the mass influx of tens of thousands of trespassers did huge amounts of damage to my farm, my property, my crops, my cars... and resulted in the murder of all of my children.
To this day police don't know who killed them, just that it was likely a crazed fan who saw my home address posted online by some other fan.
With the police and FBI not knowing who murdered my family, I'm left unable to trust anyone.
Who can you trust, in a case like mine?
I've no family to turn to, they were murdered.
I've no friends, what few fans didn't chase away, got hased off after being suspects by the police and FBI.
That's why I'm crippled. That's why I'm alone. That's why I have post traumatic stress disorder.
You don't know what it's like, to have 10 children children murdered, their heads nailed to your front door, and than try to recover from that. And be left with police shrugging and saying all leads lead to dead ends.
And you, are left with a broken spine. Having to relearn how to walk, not even able to mourn your family being murdered, because you're injured so bad yourself, you're just trying to stay alive.
And than, after years of recovery and physical therapy, alongside years of police investigations, FBI investigations, and being left with no answers. The attackers still a mystery, who they are or why they did it, who are they, no one knows, what was their motive, no one knows.
To go from a large family, to being alone, like that, it's hell to live with. And no one understands. People pity you, feel sorry for you, and move on with their lives. While you are left alone. With no answers and no one to talk to because, everyone you would have talked to is now dead.
How many parents know the pain of a murdered child? Not many.
If you've not lived through it yourself, you can't even begin to understand it.
I'm sick of people's pity. I don't want your fucking pity.
I want a friend.
I'm tired of hoping there'll be someone out there who understands how I feel.
I like my privacy and thanks to the murder of my entire family, I'm a lot more famous now than I was back than, and social media was uncommon back than but now today everybody has it - that means the risk now is far greater than it was before, I don't want a repeat of that incident, those trespassers did several $million in damages to my farm and members of my family (now dead) were badly hurt, I don't want to go through something like that again, that's why I now have bodyguards and I don't let anyone near my land any more for any reason at all.
The fact remains:
* I didn't used to have PTSD.
* I didn't used to live alone.
* I used to have a family.
* My entire family was murdered.
* I've spent the past 5 years dealing with police and FBI and lawyers and court... and running into endless deadnends with police and FBI to this day, not knowing who crippled me or murdered my family.
You'll have to excuse me if I'm a little paranoid about people entering my home, but that's one of the side effects of having all your children murdered and police and FBI clueless as to who did it and suspecting that most likely it was a crazy fan who got my home adress off social media after another fan posted it there.
I like my privacy and I do NOT trust psycho-fans to respect it, because I have 4 decades of personal experience with the fact that fans have ZERO respect for the homes/property/pets/family of any famous person they are a fan of and they will ALWAYS run to social media to brag "OMG! Look who I met! Here's their address, go meet them too!"; yes I have become excessively, overly, paranoid about people getting near me, my family, my property, my cars, and my land, but there is a very good and well justified reason for it.
The very reason I no longer allow any one near my home, is the same reason I am now looking for a dog.
I'm tired of being alone, for years on end.
I couldn't go out and get a dog after it happened, I was too busy in the hospital being paralyzed, then then too busy relearning to walk, in between endless weeks of police and FBI interviews.
Now things have stabilized. I'm walking again, more or less; police and FBI come by less and less frequently as the leads grow ever colder. News reporters have more pressing things to talk about like Covid19 so no longer bug me endlessly for interviews.
Life goes back to normal... except, my family is dead and I'm disabled and alone.
I need someone to keep me company, as I am finding the loneliness of an empty home with a family that will never return, unbearable.
I suppose I should have been aware of the covid-19 issue, but, I rather preoccupied with dealing with both the murder of my family and recovering from 3 strangers beating me with golf clubs, so I was a little bit too busy to pay much attention to the news.
Yes, I would LIKE visitors, but experience has taught me that no one ever wants to be my friend. They always have a motive. They always want something.
So no, you can't come visit me.
Before I'll let you visit me, you need to prove I can trust you.
And for me to trust you, you first have to prove it wasn't YOU who killed my family.
Why should I trust YOU?
Can YOU prove, that YOU did not murder my family?
What evidence can YOU provide, to prove that YOU were not involved?
To everyone talking about gun reform after this weeks Colorado shooting, here my thoughts:
Mass shootings happen everywhere often, it's rare they make the news... for example ... in Lewiston Maine, exactly 2 hours BEFORE this shooting in Colorado, there was a shooting in Lewiston, Maine - it was not in the news - if I wasn't local, I wouldn't have known about it.
In America, there is an average of 300 mass shootings EACH AND EVERY DAY, as well as shootings of only 1 or 2 people occurring at a rate of more then 500 per day.
That mass shootings do not make news headlines more often, is the ONLY reason so many people are surprised.
An average of only 1 in every 2,000 shootings ever gets reported on national TV.
That YOU did not know this, simply shows that you are someone who does not pay attention to what goes on daily around you in your own home town and home state.
#That so many people are marveling at the mass shooting, simply tells me that the bulk of society has it's head shoved up their own asses and are too blind to see what it happening in their own town every day.
The ONLY time a mass shooting appears in the news is if:
* 1 - it was a school shooting done by a child
* 2 - it resulted in the death of a police officer
* 3 - the shooter was someone famous - and usually only if they are a sports player, while actors, authors, singers, especially rap singers, commit mass shootings on an alarmingly frequent basis, but usually football stars and basketball players are the only ones who make news headlines when they commit mass shooting
Some states, like California, Massachusetts, and Illinois, have so many mass shootings PER DAY, that the daily newspapers have a column that is titled: **"TODAY'S SHOOTINGS"** which is simply a list of street addresses and times. It item on the list reads like this: *"Shooting at 10:38AM on Main Street, 3 wounded, 2 dead."* These lists will often have 10 or 12 or more shootings, for EACH DAY!
(I worked for Guy Gannett news paper publishing firm for 21 years; they publish many large newspapers, including the Boston Globe)
#DAILY mass shootings are so common in some states, that the newspaper keeps a daily list of today's shootings!
Mass shootings are so common in Maine that I have both witnessed and captured on camera, more than 200 of them JUST since 2015.
March 2020 - 4 men with guns broke into my elderly neighbours house and gunned him down in his bed while he slept - it was not in the news - had the shooting not woken me up and I been standing in my driveway when the police took out his body I would not know it had happened.
February 14, 2019, my cousin was killed in a WalMart shooting in Scarborough, Maine - it was not in the news - I only know it happened because a family member died.
July 2013 - a different cousin was killed in another shooting - it was not in the news - had it not been a family member who died I wouldn't know it happened.
June 2001 another cousin was killed in another shooting - at the San Diego ComicCon - he was shot by a police officer - he was a by stander who got shot by a paranoid, racist police officer shooting at someone who it turned out did not have a gun and was just a black man wearing a hoodie walking by minding his own business - it was not in the news - had it not been a family member who died I wouldn't know it happened.
November 2015 and July 2016 - Scarbughouh WalMart was evacuated because a local white supremist group - a group of about 30 people armed with guns - "took over" the WalMart and started shooting at black and Muslim customers - I was one of the people being shot at because of how I dress, they mistook me as Muslim even though I was not - it was not in the news - had I not been a shopper in the store those 2 days and been one of the people being shot at, I would not know it had happened
In August 2016, there were 5 shootings in a single week in Old Orchard Beach, Maine... one involved a group of 70 people with guns driving through town shooting anyone they suspected of being gay - it was not in the news, I only know it happened because they shot 30 bullets into the front of my house and 50+ bullets into my neighbours house - they claimed I was a male to female transgender gay man even though I'm a natural born woman
My neighbour 2 houses down - a town counsel men of Old Orchard Beach - has had 7 FBI raids on his home the past 4 years - each time removing over 100 illegal assault rifles... he was charged with shooting 4 people in one of the gay shootings done by the group of 70+ people - he was not arrested and is still on the town counsel - had the state police and FBI officers not come to our house to tell us to stay inside during the raid, I would have known about it, because it was not in the news.
Between 2015 and 2021 - I have MORE THAN 100 local mass shootings here in Maine were CAUGHT ON CAMERA during my livestreams on Twitch - not one of them was on any news station.
Maine has one of the LOWEST crime rates in the country.
News stations rely on the police department to forward the reports of these shootings to them, so that the news reporters can reports on the shootings happening.
Gun reform will solve nothing. Because when all is said and done, a gun is nothing but a piece of scrap metal and on it's own all it can do is lay harmlessly on the ground.
A gun can harm no one, unless it is wielded by a dangerous person. The person, not the gun, is the problem.
A person who would shoot somebody, is STILL going to hurt people, even they did not have a gun. They would build a bomb, or wield a knife, or even a wooden fence post. If they want to cause harm, they will, gun or no gun.
Yes, a gun makes it easier for them to hurt more people at once, but take their guns away, and they will just find something else to hurt people with. EVERYTHING is dangerous in their hands because THEY THE PERSON is dangerous.
I live in Maine - the place in the world that has more guns per person than anywhere else on the planet - Maine has just under 2 million residents, and just over 17million leally registered guns and estimated another 5million illegal guns.
Maine is a wild forest region, 3/4s of the population NEED their guns to survive, because they eat deer, moose, squirrel, fox, coywolf, fisher, duck, turkey - every day, and without their guns, their families would starve to death.
Most gun owners ARE responsible people and are NOT running around shooting people.
Look at Maine, Everyone wears fur coats, where do you think the fur came from? It's -40F on a good day. Everyone here in Maine wears furs, because if we didn't, we would freeze to death.
Bear attacks happen daily. Groups of 20 to 50 coywolves gang up on children and tear them to shreds ... here in Maine, you NEED a gun, just go outside and NOT be torn apart by mountain lions, wolves, bear, or coywolves.
Guns keep people alive, warm, and feed, far more often, than guns hurt or kill. There's a lot of people who NEED guns to stay alive, to feed their families, to protect their families.
In the hands of a responsible person a gun is a tool of survival, not a weapon.
Only dangerous people, who would kill even without a gun, make guns a dangerous weapon.
Guns are not the problem - dangerous people are.
Gun reform is NOT the answer.
All gun reform is going to do is punish people who obey the law.
But people who use guns to kill, are not law abiding citizens, so, gun reform will not affect them, because they don't obey laws anyways.
People who use guns to kill, don't care about laws, so changing laws WILL NOT STOP THEM!
If they cared about obeying the law, they wouldn't being killing people in the first place.
My family, we are not white, and THAT is why my family has seen so many mass shootings, because every single mass shooting listed above, was done by a dangerous person, so blinded by racist hate that they felt the need to kill non-whites.
Racism is the problem.
Guns are only dangerous in the hands of haters, racists, and bigots.
But you people obsessing over the Colorado shooting, you act like mass shootings are rare... ad they are NOT... mass shooting happen all the time, they just don't get reported on very often.
We need better awareness to how often mass shootings happen.
it's not gun reform we need - we need police officers willing to do their jobs and #1 arrest the shooters not just take their guns away and #2 tell the news stations how often these near weekly mass shootings happen so the news can report on HOW OFTEN these events happen
#Awareness of how often mass shootings occur and don't get reported on by the news is what is needed
Maybe, if you stopped focusing on self and paid attention to something other than yourself for a change, you'd notice how vastly common gun crime is.
Don't rely on the news media to tell you the whole truth. They tell you pieces of the truth, and only as much of the truth as they think you want to hear, and only than, if they think it'll boost their ratings.
The daily mass shootings of Chicago are rarely in the news, because they happen so often, so many of them every day, that they are deemed "TOO BORING" to be news worthy.
The daily mass shootings of Boston are likewise, rarely in the news, because it's usually gang related and when was the last time you saw the news media report on anything the Mafia did?
The weekly mass shootings of Maine are almost never in the news, because no one in the lower 48 gives 2 shits about Maine.
If it isn't going to bring views or increase ratings, the news station isn't going to cover it, no matter what it is, including, and not limited to, mass shootings.
Gun reform is NOT going to fix the problem.
Responsible gun owners are already obeying the current gun laws.
Gun reform, is ONLY going to punish, responsible people, for things they would never do.
Mass shootings are committed by people who do obey gun laws, so changing gun laws, WILL NOT prevent mass shootings.
People who commit mass shootings, rarely buy their guns legally, so changing laws regarding gun sales, will NOT keep guns out of their hands.
What we need is NOT gun reform, wat we NEED is HONEST NEWS REPORTING.
We NEED news stations who report on ACTUAL daily news.
If people KNEW how many mass shootings occur **EVERY DAY, in ALL 50 STATES**, they would know who truly pointless and a waste of time a resources, gun reform is.
When you say "Black Lives Matter"... do you mean the lives of ALL black people?
Do ALL black lives matter to you? Or JUST the lives of black drug dealers, who beat black pregnant women to death, murder black babies, beat black children, and do 9 separate prison sentences for domestic violence against black women?
Do the lives of the black women and black children he beat to death mean NOTHING to you?
Please tell me why you would rename your school after a man who murdered a pregnant black woman ad her unborn black baby?
#Did HER black life not matter to you?
#Did HER black baby's life not matter to you?
Yes, black lives matter, but a murderer is a murderer no matter what color they are, and you shouldn't be renaming your streets, schools, hospitals, and airports after a monster who murdered a pregnant woman and her baby.
Did you know WHY that a white police officer killed a black murderer? To protect the lives of black women and children.
No, that police officer should not have taken the law into his own hands... but fact remains, he cared more about the lives of black women and black children that YOU do!
Do your research.
Know the facts.
Stop being a brain dead jackass parroting every word you hear others say.
Do your research and stop worshipping a man who devoted his life to murdering pregnant black women and their unborn black babies.
If black lives REALLY mattered to you, you'd STOP disrespecting the black women and black children, murdered by that monster. Every time you glorify his name, you tell are openly telling his black victims that THEIR black lives don't mean shit to you.
If you REALLY believe ALL black lives mattered, you would be renaming everything after the black pregnant woman he murdered, NOT naming your school after her murderer.
What message are you sending?
You are NOT sending the message that black lives matter... far from it in fact.
By renaming your school after a man who murdered pregnant black women, you are TEACHING your children it is okay to murder black women and black children... did you even stop to think about THAT?
Are you really so quick to want to please the crowd that you are willing to completely overlook the more than 900 accounts of rape, domestic violence, drug dealing, drive by shootings, and the murder of a pregnant woman? All committed by the one man, you are now renaming your schools, hospitals, streets, towns, and airports after?
You don't care about black lives, you only care about looking good in front of others.
If you cared about black lives, you'd care MORE about his 900+ black victims than you would him.
You people are fucking hypocrites.
All you care about is looking hip or cool or being part of the in crowd and doing what the popular people do. You don't give a shit about the trail of **BLACK** victims... the 900+ **BLACK LIVES** that were destroyed by the man you people are glorifying.
If you REALLY care about black lives, than prove it, and STOP DISRESPECTING the 1,000's of black families who REJOICE at the death of the terrorist crime lord gangster who terrorized their families for decades... stop worshiping the crime lord that made their BLACK lives a living nightmare.
Every time you glorify his name... you are telling ALL of his BLACK victims that their BLACK LIVES don't mean shit to you.
Look at you sheep, acting all righteous, pretending to care about others, when all you care about is your precious 15 minutes of fame.
You don't care about black lives, you only care about being part of the in crowd.
Fucking herd mentality.
You'll do and say whatever you have to, just to be a part of the biggest, loudest group.
You chant "Black lives matter" with your mouths, but you don't mean it in your heart.
Those of us who aren't white - you don't give a shit about us.
You just want people to THINK you care... so long as it LOOKS like you care, you don't care about anything else.
Those of us who actually suffer at the hands of white bastards, you don't care about us, and you never will. And that can clearly be seen, by WHICH black face you wave on your signs... not a black hero, no, but an inhuman monster who broke into a house to steal drugs, but got the wrong address, and broke into the home of a pregnant black woman. A man who beat his child. A man who committed drive by shootings. A man whom at the time of his death had more than 40 warrants for his arrest. A man who'd already gone to prison for violent crimes 9 times. A man who HATED black lives, beat black lives, tortured black lives, abused black women, beat black children... if you REALLY cared about black lives, you WOULD NOT be glorifying a man like that, who destroyed hundreds of black lives.
Blind, mindless sheep. That's all you are.
You don't care about anyone. And you never will. All you care about is following the in-crowd, and doing and saying whatever they say, WITHOUT doing any research.
If you REALLY cared about black lives, you'd help the victims of crimes against them, NOT glorify the criminal who committed hundreds of crimes against hundreds of black women and black children.
Every time you name a school or street after him, you tell EVERY black person on the planet that their black lives DO NOT matter, because all that matters to you is glorifying the name of a man who was a terrorist to make yourself look good.
You rush to be the first in line so you will get the glory, and you completely overlook the greater harm that you are causing.
Black lives matter, but those words mean nothing to you, because all you're thinking about is your own self glory.
You are NOT seeing, worse, you are ignoring the MILLIONS of black people who are crying out to you idiotic white people, asking you white people to STOP glorifying the monster who terrorised so many black lives.
Your GLORY while you scream "Black lives matter" in front of news cameras, means MORE to you, than the the lives of of actual black people... we KNOW this, BECAUSE, you are ignoring the MILLIONS of black lives who are BEGGING you to stop glorifying the man who terrorised so many black lives.
In you rush to seem black-friendly, you forget to research the facts, and instead of promoting the good in the black community, you promote the scum bag that terrorized and own people, the man whom millions of black people are saying they are GLAD he's finally dead. GLAD that no more black women, no more black children, will be terrorized by that monster. And they are asking you to STOP glorifying him.
Why won't you listen to what they are saying?
*Could it be, that they are too BLACK for you to care about what they have to say?
*Are they too BLACK for you to listen to them?
* Are they too BLACK for you to take the time to care about their feelings?
If you REALLY cared about black lives, then WHY are you IGNORING the pleas of his BLACK victims?
There are plenty of good strong, moral, decent, glory-worthy black people out there... so why are you glorifying the terrorist, crime lord, gangster whom black people themselves are BEGGING you to stop glorifying.
#By glorifying a man who devoted his live to hurting black people, you are letting your white superiority fly high.
Why aren't you naming your schools after the BLACK pregnant women he attacked? She's the real hero, not him.
Why are glorifying HIM and not HER?
You scream "I can't breath" in his honor... what about HER? Could SHE breath while he was strangling her in her own home?
What about her unborn baby? Could IT breath while that monster was strangling it's mother to death?
Why aren't you naming your schools after the BLACK children he terrorised with his drive by shootings?
Why are you glorifying a monster who thought nothing of shooting the innocent BLACK children, who were playing on the front lawns, completely unsuspecting that that monster was going to drive by shooting at everyone because he was mad at his drug dealer?
Why are you naming your school after a man who shot at children playing in their yards, as if they were bottles on a fence?
Do any of you even take the time to stop and THINK before you do these things?
That man was a monster. Who cares what color he was. Men like him are monsters no matter what color their skin is, they should NEVER be glorified.
Men who beat up pregnant women should NOT have schools named after them.
You people ought to be ashamed of yourselves, naming your schools after a man who terrorized pregnant women and black children.
You say black lives matter, but are you sure you REALLY mean it?
Why than do the lives of black pregnant women and black children, mean NOTHING to you?
How can you hypocrites stand there chanting "black lives matter" while in the same breath glorifying the man who made life hell for so many innocent black women and their children?
#In renaming your school after a man who spent decades raping, shooting, beating, torturing, and killing black people, you are saying that black lives DO NOT matter to you.
Worse, you are teaching the children who attend those schools, that it is OKAY for a man to beat pregnant women, shoot at children, deal drugs, and be a gangster. It that what you REALLY want your children to grow up to be?
#By renaming your school after a man who spent decades raping, shooting, beating, torturing, and killing black people, you are TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN... THAT raping, shooting, beating, torturing, and killing black people IS OKAY.
Children who attend a school named after a famous person, will be taught by the teachers of that school to idolize that person.
What are you going to do, when your child, idolizing that man, takes a gun to school, and shoots his pregnant teacher in honor of the man the school is named after, killing pregnant women in order to be more like the "hero" the school was named after?
#By renaming your school after a man who devoted his entire life to abusing black people, you are TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN... THAT abusing black people IS OKAY.
What are you going to do, when your child, idolizing that man, takes a gun to school, and shoots his classmates in honor of the man the school is named after, running through the halls of the school pretending to be doing a drive by shooting to be just like the "hero" the school was named after?
#in naming your school after a criminal who terrorized black people you are sending the message THAT BLACK LIVES DO NOT MATTER... don't you realize that?
Did you jackasses ever once stop to think about the long term effects of your actions?
Children aren't dumb. They'll do their research, they'll find out what kind of a man he REALLY was and seeing how much their teachers and parents glorify this this criminal, these children will take up guns in his honor, to do the things he did, because they'll think that's what your parents and teachers want.
Children want to please you. And when they see you honor and glorify a monster, they will do everything in their power to become just like that monster, killing in his name, just as he killed, dealing drugs in his name, just like he did, because they want to make you proud, and they are going think, with how much you worship that man, they'll think the ONLY way for you to ever be proud of them, is if they mimic everything he did in his lifetime, and they'll research and they learn, all the crimes he committed, and they'll re-enact every last one of them, just to make you proud.
By glorifying a criminal to hero status, you will teach your very own children, to be criminals, just like him, committing crimes far worse than he committed.
Open your eyes to the truth.
Stop following the fucking herd.
Take a step back and THINK before you act.
#FAQ: What advice would you give to someone looking to get started in streaming? How do I avoid burn out? What should I use to motivate me if I get burned out?
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Advice?
Stream for fun, because streaming is what you enjoy doing, and always remember that: No one owes you anything.
#Note to streamers:
Your viewers owe you nothing.
Just because you stream, does not give you the right to demand your viewers be there every day, watch you every minute, or follow/subscribe/donate just because you asked them to.
Viewers are people. They have lives. Learn to respect that.
#Note to viewers:
Streamers don't owe you a thing.
Your views and your money does not give you the right to demand how often someone streams or what content they stream.
Streamers are people. They have lives. Learn to respect that.
#Why do I say that?
A culture of entitlement has risen up on Twitch, which has made it no fun to watch nearly every streamer whom has joined Twitch after May 2020.
You can tell immediately streamers who joined in the days of JustinTV from the ones who joined after the Amazon ownership...
JustinTV had no monetization, so JustinTV streamers stream for fun, as a hobby, with no expectation of money, and that attitude stays with them to this day.
Amazon's Twitch introduced bits and subscriptions, and brought with it a rise of streamers who started streaming with the hopes of making money, but still doing it for fun and hobby and not looking at it as a career.
September 21, 2019, Twitch introduced ads, which played only on Partnered streams, with a handful of Affiliates also beta testing it. March 27, 2020, the ads reached Affiliates as well.
* January 2005, Twitch had 100 members.
* January 2016 Twitch had 200,000 members
* January 2018, Twitch had 1Million members.
* January 2020, Twitch had 2Million members
* January 2021, Twitch had 10Million members
**While January 2021 now boasts 10million streamers streaming every day on Twitch... there are only 1million active viewer accounts... Twitch's AI defends active viewer accounts as having logged in at least 1 day in the past 12 months and watched 1 stream**
As of January 2021, there are now *(according to Twitch's own stats tracking page)* an estimated 17 streamers for every 1 ACTIVE viewer.... meaning 16 out of every 17 streamers will be sitting at 0 viewers every stream, through no fault of their own, simply because there are not enough viewers to go around.
And THIS is what has caused much of the current problem we see now in 2021.
Between May 2020 and December 2020 8 million people joined Twitch... and many of them are very open in their outrage at the lack of viewers.
It is very difficult to find a channel which started in 2020, that does anything other than bitch about lack of viewers.
Myself, I get 3 to 10 viewers each stream, and Twitch's stats page lists me in the top 10% of the most viewed streamers on Twitch because I reach 3 to 10 viewers nearly every stream.
This is something that should be taken into consideration.
My channel is very tiny. As of today (March 13, 2021) it has:
* 403 followers
* 87,056 total views
* in the past 8 years has had in total 3 subscribers.
* From ads has made $15.37.
* In 8 years, has made in total $34
* and is still $66 away from reaching the $100 threshold to receive the first payout.
* I have no donation options set up and thus have never once received a donation
* when streaming at my normal schedule I stream 6 to 9 hours 7 days a week *(in recent months, my health has disrupted this)*
As you can see from my stats, I do not make money from streaming, and yet I do it more hours per week than the average person works at a 9-5 job.
And Twitch lists me as one of the top 1,000 streamers... that alone should tell you how very difficult it is to gain viewers or followers on Twitch.
I started streaming in 2004 (on MySpace) so 2021 is my 17th year of streaming 60 hour weeks for no pay.
A lot of people ask me how I have done this for so many years, while having so few viewers, so few followers, and no money reward from it?
My answer is... I don't stream for OTHERS.
I stream for ME.
I stream because, I have fun streaming.
I DO NOT stream for YOU. YOU mean nothing to me. YOU are just a faceless username.
>>>I have Autism... ACTUAL Autism. Kanner's Syndrome, NOT Asperger's. Because of this, if I can not SEE YOUR FACE, I have ZERO ability to acknowledge you as a real person.
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>>> If you want ME to acknowledge YOUR existence, you MUST be standing in the same room with me talking to me face to face.
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>>>This means that EVERYONE who talks to me online, including streamers who I'm in chat for, or you in my chat...
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>>>I am not capable of mentally acknowledging you as a REAL PERSON... because you are just a face on a screen, you are not sitting in the physical room with me.
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>>> If I can not reach out and touch your face while you are talking, I can not acknowledge you as being a real person.
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>>>And because of THIS, YOU, your views, your follows, your money... none of that is important to me.
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I DO NOT stream to try to get YOUR attention.
I DO NOT stream to get views. YOUR time spent watching me, is not something I care about.
I DO NOT stream to get followers. YOUR opinion of me does not matter to me.
I DO NOT stream to make friends. I friend REAL friends offline and don't need YOUR fake online pseudo-friendship.
I DO NOT stream to get fame. YOU knowing who I am is not important to me.
I DO NOT stream to entertain YOU.
#I stream for ME and not for YOU and THAT is why I can stream for 17 years to almost no one and not lose motivation.
This is why 403 followers in 8 years, doesn't bother me.
It's why often streaming to 0 viewers and almost never reaching 10 viewers, doesn't bother me.
It's why streaming for 60 hours a week for 17 years to rarely more than 3 people and never once receiving a single penny for it, doesn't bother me or cause me to lose motivation.
This question gets asked to me, a few times a week... how do I keep going and not lose motivations, and it is often asked to me by streamers with 5k+ followers, listing off "only getting $200 a month from subscribers", and after just 3 months of streaming they are burned out and wanting to give up.... they turn to me, a much smaller channel, doing this for nearly 2 decades, and puzzled as to why I did not give up like they are going after not even a full half a year.
The reason, is the motive.
I am NOT motivated by getting attention, so gaining viewers or followers does nothing to motivate me.
I am NOT motivated by being part of a club or group, so joining teams or moving in clique circles of streamers (what most new streamers refer to as "networking") does not motivate me.
I am NOT motivated by money, I have an income outside of streaming, so reaching income goals does not motivate me to stream.
I gain fewer than 10 new followers a month.
I consistently have very few viewers.
And yet... Twitch lists me as one of the top 1,000 most viewed channels on Twitch.
Why?
Because I enjoy what I do.
I'm not spending my time begging for followers, begging for subs, begging for bits, begging for viewers, begging for donations... so I don't get burned out.
Yes. I can understand why people get burned out when they spend 2 or 3 hours doing dull boring things like begging.
Think about it... is begging fun? No.
What is fun? Well, for me, picking flowers. Something I spent many hours doing, for the past 50 years, and now I'm crippled and I can't spend hours in the blueberry plains of Maine picking wildflowers like I've done my whole life... so... I seek out video games that let me pick flowers, and thus Witcher, Witcher 3, Don't Starve, and Subnautica, became the 4 video games that I play for many hours every day.
I can sit here and stream to no one for 10 or 12 hours each and every day, because I'm having fun with what I am doing... which for the past 3 years, has been playing Witcher 3 as Avallac'h, running around Skellige picking wildflowers, and not doing quests and not doing anything remotely close to normal gameplay.
If I was worrying about views, I'd have to play other games, games that are not as fun.
If I was seeking followers I would have to be constantly begging and pleading and groveling, asking people to follow.
And if I wanted people to come back after following, than I'd have to be doing stupid stuff like eating foul jelly beans and drinking various hot sauces.
I love Jelly Bellies... I eat them almost daily, I have since the 1980s. I probably eat more Jelly Bellies in a single week than the average streamer ever will in their lifetime. So I've very familiar with the... bamboozalled beans... heck, I drink 3 to 4 cans of Moxie a day, you think Jelly Bellies "bad tasting" jelly beans is going to faze me? I hold place in the Guinness Book of World Records for how much Moxie I can chug... I wouldn't fun to watch eating those jelly beans, I can knock back an entire box without flitching... I'm a world record holding Moxie drinker... you want a real taste test challenge … you try drinking Moxie, one swig of Moxie and you'll be begging for the safety those so bad tasting beans.
So, for me... taste test challenges, hold no incentive. Those things people do, to gain views, people watch them, to watch them try to swallow something they hate... no one is interested in watching they chow down on something they eat every day.... heck, you see me guzzle down 3 or 4 cans of Moxie every single stream and I don't charge you a penny to watch me do it... it's just a thin I drink... any other streamer would be asking for a $500 donation and expect a week off from streaming just to taste Moxie and not even drink it.
Do you realize how much money I could make and many viewers I'd have, if I started asking people to pay to watch me drink Moxie? But I don't because, I drink Moxie like it was a water. Something you are well aware of if you watch me daily.
I'm not a competitive person. And so even though I'm drinking something others wouldn't touch for anything under a $500 donation, I see no reason to monetize my ability to drink something others call foul.
If viewers or followers or money ever became an incentive to motivate me to stream, all I would have to do is add a donation wheel and slap Moxie and Jelly Bellies on it and spe