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This one....
I stream on Twitch, YouTube, FaceBook, and Twitter. I have no pre-planned schedule for which site I will go live on. I do NOT multi-stream on multiple sites at once, so if I am live on one, I am not live on the other 3. (The FaceBook one will say "Video Unavailable" when not live.)
NOTE: Chat is set to emote only on my Twitch channel and my personal contact information has been removed from my website and every place else, due to the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of false reports of "information", along with vile hateful memes about the murder of my family being sent to me by trolls who think mocking the murder of my family is funny.
FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the of the April 10, 2015 kidnapping of my 12 children by 14 Ku Klux Klan men who invaded our home and the subsequent May 15, 2015 murder of 10 of the 12 whom had their heads nailed to my front door. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322
Vanilla Avallac'h vs Modded Avallac'h
If you are Mormon, Mason, Jewish, or Zoroastrian, take a close look at his gambeson and see what you see. If you are Mormon, Mason, Jewish, or Zoroastrian, you'll see it and you'll know exactly what it means. On the other hand if you are a Gentile or an Infidel, you won't have a clue.
>>Both images on the left from May 2018, the 1st Avallac'h Playthrough
Vanilla Avallac'h has black hair and eyebrows turned grey, and has an appalling LOD of 5 and draw distance of 7, and has no hairworks effects, no wind effects, and while his 3d model & texture files have wrinkles, scars, bruises, bug bites, moles, and veins, you can't see them on the vanilla settings.
Also while Avallac'h's clothen had a RedCloth file, it had very low grade settings/pollies causing the details of the cloth weave, seam stitches, and embroidery to be blurry.
Vanilla Avallac'h has pupils that react to light, like all other characters in the game.
>>Both images on the right from September 15, 2020, the 3rd Avallac'h Playthrough
Modded Avallac'h has a 5,000 LOD and draw distance, resulting in wrinkles, scars, bruises, bug bites, moles, and veins on his skin can now be seen. This also revealed that he has a fine scar down the side of his nose and one over his eyebrow, both were not visible at all with the vanilla LOD settings.
Hairworks and wind effects have been added to his hair.
While we are talking about his hair... notice that he wears payot. If you don't know what payot are or why a man would have them... Google will help you. It brands him as Hasidic.
His hair and eyebrows are changed to blond (as described in the novels), his skin has been lightened several shades (again to match novel descriptions), and he has new texture files for his eyes to make them pale ice aquamarine with pink pupils, as described in the novels.
Modded Avallac'h has pupils that are frozen into tiny pinpricks and never grow or retract with light changes, matching the information we were told about him having suffered severe nerve damage which caused him to have tiny frozen pupils that did not react to light.
Because the file which changes a character's pupils, is NOT connected to their eye file, but rather is connected to their shadow file and changes not only the size and shape of pupils in different lights, it also changes the shadows on their face, and changes the intensity of their makeup.
The result of changing this file, is that shadows on Avallac'h's face are now fainter and his vanilla very dark eyeshadow is now many shades much lighter.
This results in a bright highlight on his cheekbones, making them much paler, and has caused an illusion that his cheekbones are even sharper than before, even though no change was made to his 3D model bone structure... i is simply a result of less shadow below his cheekbones with brighter highlight over them, and fewer shadows around his eyes.
I increased the depth of Avallac'h's RedCloth file (edited the 3D model to make ridged details a deeper depth) and increased settings/pollies causing the details of the cloth weave, seam stitches, and embroidery to be much sharper and more noticable, making the cloth look more real.
And speaking of the cloth looking more real... if you are a Gentile or an Infidel, you won't have a clue what it was I mentioned earlier, so let me point it out... on the beast of his gambeson, right over the nipple, there are slash marks that are stitched into a very specific pattern/design... this marks Avallac'h as a very high ranking priest, one who has access to the deepest, inner circles of the Temple, on par with The Levite in the Bible, it also tells us that he is a virgin and living celibate lifestyle because of his religious rank.
On their own, the slash marks do not identify a specific religion, but one of 5 religions. However, that, with the payot, and the fact that he covers his head when going outside, brands him as a Hasidic Jew.
We further know that in the novels, ALL Elves are Jewish, and the masque of the Elves during the Human invasion, was an outright retelling of the Holocaust, and Avallac'h spoke an ancient dialect of Hebrew and was unable to understand most Humans as he spoke none of the common tongues.
Raise your hand if you ACTUALLY KNOW what Manna is? Sephiroth? Sackcloth and ashes? Golems? The Tree of Life? The Pentagram? Tzitzit? Are you able to explain ANY of those things and what they are, when you encounter them in quests in the game?
Can you explain WHY Geralt meditates on a prayer rug facing East?
Explain to me WHY after her grandmother dies, Ciri shreds her cloths, starts wearing sackcloth, and rolls her golden blond hair in ashes to turn it into dreadlocks, resulting her becoming known as "the ashen haired maid"?
When the game shows you Avallac'h naked in Kaer Morhen, can you read the Hebrew writing tattoo across his chest and abdomen? Do you know what the symbols on his tattoos mean?
After having watched more than 5,000 playthroughs of Witcher 3 on Twitch, I'm continually amazed at how few people ever recognize the plethora of openly Jewish characters and miss the HUNDREDS of Holocaust reference easter eggs that flood every segment of the game.
And now that the books are becoming popular, after 40 years of being ignored by the bulk of society... it likewise amazes me, how many people are so clueless about the Holocaust and what happened to the Jews in Poland, that they read the Witcher novels with blind eyes, and completely miss that the Gnomes and Elves are blatantly Jewish, while the Humans are blatantly Nazi, and the mass murder of millions of Jewish Gnomes and Elves at the hands of their Nazi Human invaders, is an outright retelling of the events of real world history.... of that happened just 80 years ago.
Our world is in a pitiful state if the so recent mass murder of 20 million is so easily forgotten, so soon.
If you know nothing about the Holocaust, you REALLY shouldn't play this game or read the novels it was based on, because you'll completely miss the message they send. It'll go right over your head.
Spend a year or two doing some massive research into the Holocaust, especially what happened in Poland, and THEN play the game and read the novels, and THEN remember that the author who created this: was a Polish Jew who as a small child, saw his friends and family murdered, and then you'll understand why he wrote what he wrote.
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NOTE: Chat is set to emote only on my Twitch channel and my personal contact information has been removed from my website and every place else, due to the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of false reports of "information", along with vile hateful memes about the murder of my family being sent to me by trolls who think mocking the murder of my family is funny.
FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the of the April 10, 2015 kidnapping of my 12 children by 14 Ku Klux Klan men who invaded our home and the subsequent May 15, 2015 murder of 10 of the 12 whom had their heads nailed to my front door. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322
This one....
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Please be aware that nearly every page on this website contains spoilers to something. I talk about a lot of fandoms, and go into great detail analyzing them when I do. If I am talking about The Witcher series, InuYasha, Disney Ducks, the Quaraun series, or any other fandom, you WILL encounter spoilers about it.
I am answering random questions today about very random thoughts on writing sex fetishes in bizarro dark fantasy novels featuring gay & bi-sexual yaoi couples, over on Reddit and decided to take my answers from there and expand upon them even further over here. So that's what this page is. Me rambling on about various aspects of sex fetish writing techniques I use when writing the Quaraun series. The questions I am answering are embedded here. Clicking the link in the embedded question will take you to the original Reddit page where you can see the original answer along with other people's answers. If you wish to comment, you can do so on the Reddit page where a place to do so is provided.
Safety is something I always worry about. Not for myself so much, as I know the safety "rules", but rather for my readers, because I write CBT Erotica. CBT tends to get into the more extreme areas of BDSM and in real life a LOT of safety precautions need to be taken, otherwise you could seriously and permanently injure or even cripple a guy. But in fiction, going into details about all the safety stuff is boring dry reading that distracts from the story, so a lot of it is left out, as weaving it into the text becomes tedious. You want to write a novel not a textbook, right?
Well, I read this news article once about a couple that decided to try something they read in Erotica. They just jumped in and did it straight as they had read it from the book without stopping to consider the safety precautions and the girl died. It was all over the news (maybe 3 years ago?) And on a different BDSM forum I was on, a lot of people got to talking about the dangers of "newbies" jumping in and frenzy practicing BDSM from stuff they read in Erotica without doing any real research first vs people who took it slow and took the time to learn about the dangers and having a plan of action in case any trouble came up.
In the situation of the girl that died, it was a threesome, teenager experimenting, had no real idea of what they were doing, and soon as she got in trouble, the 2 guys panicked and split. They didn't mean to hurt her and were scared out of their minds that their parents would find out. One of her friends found her a few days later. The reports had said if the guys had thought to uncut the ropes, she'd have probably been okay, but she ended up dying a horrible death because they were just kids trying out something they'd read and had no clue what to do when things went wrong and just ran out of the house and left her unable to call for help or help herself.
It kind of shook me up, you know? Made me realize there are some really immature people out there who act first and think later.
I was like: WOE! They were like 14 years old. How in the heck did these kids get a hold of 18+ info? Then you look at places like fanfic .net where it's mostly 12 year olds writing really extreme BDSM-type stories - things that are not physically possible in real life, and then other kids read it and try it out thinking they are doing BDSM when hey are not actually.
It just made me realize that while those of us who live the lifestyle know the safety precautions, there are so many out there who jump in not realizing how dangerous this stuff can get. Makes me worry about my readers and wonder, should those of us who write BDSM be more careful about including details of safety practices, at the risk of destroying the story, for the sake of the immature readers who ain't got enough sense to research and be safe before trying BDSM out?
>If a female sub doesn't like being called slut, bitch, or whore, what are some good alternatives? I don't need to degrade, but would still love to keep the kink in the language somewhere.
I always find the phrase "my pretty little ___" works best.
Even when used with harsher words, it still feels loving
for example
vs
or
vs
"You whore" sounds mean, sounds like you are angry. "My pretty little whore" sounds comforting, gives a sense of safety.
My own Dom uses the term "chickadee". "My chickadee" he says all the time. ALL the time. Our lifestyle is considered a bit extreme by most in BDSM as there is no "normal life" in between "bedroom play". I literally have no freedom. He put locking gas cap on my car, tracks mileages, I have to have permission before going outside (makes having a job difficult, I've lost 3 jobs in the past 2 years because he doesn't always think I need to go outside, even when I have to go to work.) I can not eat without his permission, I'm not always allowed to sleep inside in the house, often have to sleep under a tarp in the yard instead. He's very extreme. Last month was our 30th anniversary, been together since August 17, 1987. We've been doing this a long time. A lot of people in the most "we do BDSM a few times a month before bed" type of BDSM, look at couples like us and think we are weird, others who are only into club scene fetish sex but not the full blown 24/7 lifestyle call him abusive. They do not understand or realize, I in fact have way more control then they realize. You see, all it takes is a word, to "turn him off" and suddenly, I have freedom again to do whatever, without his permission. Words are powerful, even more so in BDSM then anywhere else.
I think that's the part many Doms fail to understand, the fact that, they are only the Dom because the sub lets them be so. And I think, words are important, and if a word makes the sub uncomfortable, a responsible Dom will seek out alternatives.
For example: I don't like the word slut, bitch, and whore, and so... he's not allowed to use them. However, I do like the feeling of belonging to someone who is a protector that makes me feel safe. I grew up with a very abusive childhood. I never felt safe. He grew up bullied, he never felt he had control. He makes me feel safe and protected, I give him the control he desires. And words are an important factor in it.
He likes being called "My Sugar Daddy"
I like being called "my little pet"
You notice how for both of us the word "my" comes into play? Me putting "my" in front of words to him, gives him the sense of power he craves, while his use of "my" before words to me, gives me the sense of having the protector I crave. I belong to him and he relishes that. He's my protector and relish that.
I know, most people look at BDSM and they think harsh, lewd words, whips, chains, rope, leather, spankings, handcuffs... we've been a BDSM couple for 30 years and 1 month, harsh words, whips, chains, rope, leather, spankings, handcuffs..... have never once been a part of our life. BDSM is about control and shits of power, not sex.... there exists asexual BDSM couples who never engage in sex at all.... for them, words are even more important.
I think the words you use (both the Dom and the sub) with each other are the thing that can make or break a relationship. Words are very powerful. Learn to use words to your advantage, learn the words she likes, teach her the words you like, and you'll be a couple for life, completely and totally addicted to each other.
What about outside of your sex life?
Do you play first person shooter games because your partner does and says he wants you to do it with him?
Do you watch every single sports show on TV because your partner does and says you must watch them with him or else?
Are you vegan and was forced by your friend to eat meat, or lose their friendship, for example? I've known couples who broke up because the vegan girl refused to eat a hamburger. That had nothing to do with kink. That was just a bully forcing his partner to do something he enjoyed: eating meat.
Did the guy you have a crush on in high school, like shooting birds, and you hated the idea but shot a bird just to show him you could? I knew a girl who was pressured like this once. She was torn between committing murder of an innocent bird or obey the school jock in front of his bully friends. Again, someone forcing their partner to do something and it had nothing to do with sex.
I seriously question your ability to grasp what BDSM even is, if you think it's only about kinky sex. There's a hell of a lot more to BDSM then club scenes and bedrooms and there's a lot of virgins who've never had sex in the BDSM community. It's a selfish person who thinks something is only the way they want it to be and closes their minds to anyone else's way of doing things, which ironically is the topic at hand.
BDSM is a power play. It's about control. It's about allowing someone to have control over your body (sexually and otherwise), but only giving them as much control as you are comfortable giving up.
BDSM works best with couples who've been together a long time... a decade or more... before they start doing it. Why? Because it's about trust. If you don't fully trust someone, you can't fully submit to them.
If you fully trust someone, you can fully submit to them, even if you have a DOM nature.
Sure, exploring something your partner is interested in, is one thing, but there's a difference between exploring an interest and being forced into it against you will via ultimatums.
Here's a thought... what would happen if you learned your partner was secretly a member of the Ku Klux Klan and wanted you to join them in burning down the house of a local Muslim family, because they heel you needed to be more tolerate of their interest in hating non-whites? (Yes, I knew a couple who this was a think, the girl was being told she had to join her partner in doing if she wanted to stay with him. And once again, it had nothing to do with sex.)
Think about THAT, next time you say you'll try anything your partner is interested in.
My point is...
there is a fine line between a Dom and a bully, and that line is easily crossed.
I agree with this.
No means no.
Even in BDSM.
Perhaps this Dom, should try looking at it from the subs perspective.
Would HE like being dominated?
Why is she not tolerant? Is she scared? Does she even know you? If you're relationship is less then 3 years old, you really shouldn't be trying out BDSM. She hasn't had time to get to know you yet. You can't expect her to trust you yet, and in BDSM, you need trust... a lot of it.
Figure out what the issue is. Fix the issue. How can you make her feel less frightened, more relaxed, and better able to trust you?
Talk with her. Ask her. Find out, why is she uncomfortable with this? Was she abused by an uncle? You could be stepping on some serious trauma issues here and if you force the issue, you could do serious psychological damage.
If the Dom really cares about his sub, he'll put her psychological health before his sexual needs. And that'll go a long way to winning her trust.
Want to find out if your Dom is an abuser? There's a very simple way to find out...
Tell your Dom that for the next 30 days you are going to switch places. They are going to be the sub and you are going to be their Dom.
A TRUE BDSM Dom, will quickly submit to the will of their sub and switch places for the next 30 days.
An abuser, will feel that his superiority is being attacked/threatened and will absolutely refuse to be submissive to their sub.
Beware of and Dom who feels threatened at the suggestion s/he sub to their sub... that is an abusive narcissistic person who'll one day beat you to a pulp.
March 6, 2016, my next door neighbour was carried out of her house in a body bag. Her boyfriend in cuffs. Three days before that, the police had been there, trying to get her out of the house. They told her, he was only recently out of prison, out on a technicality, he had raped 27 women. A known abuser. She was standing on the sidewalk, blood gushing from her nose. Stitched across her face. And a black eye, telling the police: "You don't understand, he's not an abuser. It's a lifestyle. Like 50 Shades of Grey. He's not really hurting me."
3 days later she was dead.
Far too many women are like her... submissive to an abuser who convinces them it's okay because it's BDSM.
No.
BDSM, is NOT about beating a girl up, pushing her around, calling her a slut, bitch, and whore, degrading her, making her feel bad, and then beating her to death when she refuses to tolerate the abuse any more.
No still means no, even in BDSM.
Yes. I tend to agree with this.
Not only the word tolerant" but also the fact that he seems to be upset over not being allowed to use the word "slut", "bitch", and "whore"
As a general rule, a man who's first thought is to call a woman a "slut", "bitch", or "whore", is a bully. I've been in the BDSM community 40+ years now. I've never meet a man who's first choice of words was "bitch" unless he was NOT a Dom, but rather an abuser looking to use BDSM as an excuse to hurt women.
While there are women who want to be called "bitch", they are not the norm, and when a woman has to ask a man to not call her a bitch, she probably should also be reaching for the phone to dial 911, because most men who use the word bitch are quick to use their fists to beat her face in when she asks him to stop calling her a bitch.
And THAT, is NOT BDSM.
Next, you have a man, told he can not call her a bitch, so now he's fuming and having himself a boo-hoo-pity-party because "oh she's not tolerant of my desire to beat bitches to a pulp. oh boo-hoo-hoo! Pity me! The bitch won't be tolerant of my verbally abusing her."
You gotta remember, this lifestyle does attract some of the worst scum of the earth: rapists and abusers. Predators who are looking for submissive women they can take advantage of. Women who will "tolerate being abused.
In a true BDSM relationship, there is never a point when the sub is not in full and complete total control of the situation. The Dom only has as much power as the sub lets them have. The moment you encounter a Dom who doesn't know that, you've encountered an abuser.
That said, I'm not saying the OP here is an abuser. If fact, the fact that he came here asking for advice, indicates he is not. An abuser wouldn't care about the sub enough to ask: "so what's the alternative".
Sure, perhaps he used poor choice of words. It happens. But the fact that he's willing to learn, willing to make his sub feel comfortable, that says a lot. It says he's trying to be a good Dom, and that's a good thing.
Learning HOW to make your partner comfortable and safe, is an important part of BDSM after all. If he's willing to learn and willing to take it slow and help his sub gain more comfort in the situation, then that's a good thing.
When I first published this page - the one from the thread below were loading... however, the thread is now a day later, a NSFW thread and so the comments no longer load. The links take you to them still however. Just note the threads are NSFW thus why they no longer show up in the embed feature.
I'm an author of CBT (cock and ball torture) sounding is one of my fave things to write; it' also why my readers keep buying more of my books :)
have you ever googled the search term "hanging by his balls from a chandelier"?
I did once for a novel I was writing... I had this scene where the characters walked in and found the guy hanging from a chandieler by his balls... then I was like... wait a minute, could you actually do that to a guy?
So I googled to find out of it was possible... it's possible... ooooooh is it ever possible! There's a whole fetish around it! OMG! Why! I was doing it for a murder scene in a novel - these guys I found on Google search results were doing it for fun!
I'm this!
Lord Sesshomaru uber fetish
mixed in with some Scrooge McDuck, Darkwing Duck, and My Little Pony, with a touch of Smurfs...
If you ever cruised in InuYasha fanfic circles I'm the uber crazed mega wack job Sesshomaru fanfic writer known as "The Bride of Sesshomaru" .... sshhhh... don't tell any one
I think it started from Necromancer Porn fanfiction didn't it?
I both read and write Necromancer porn fanfic, I run across and think up, some of the strangest danged things out there
I am wondering why has Amazon moved the Quaraun books to the category "Transgender Romance" and also "Gay Erotica"? The base story is a deeply depressed, suicidal, drug addict Elf who's lover commit suicide and he's trying not to do the same. It's an old Elf in a tavern, monologuing a lot of flashbacks and back story scenes of his youth. These stories are dark, bloody, angsty, full of drug use, murder, rape, Medieval torture, mental/physical/emotional abuse, and references to depression and suicide - no romance in it, unless you count the occasional (and usually brutally violent) rape scenes that show up in nearly every volume - sorry - no clue what Amazon is thinking or why they moved these to Romance and Erotica, but these books are NOT even close to being Romance or Erotica on any level at all. When I published these books I put them in "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi". If they show up in any category other then "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi", it's because Amazon put them there without my authorization or approval.
~EelKat
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The 4 door white truck continues to sit at the end of my drive way (146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine) near every night around sunset, reeving it's engine and squealing it's tires, with the driver yelling anti-gay threats and obscenities out the window. He continues to do the same thing at my dad's apartment building (Biddeford Maine) a few times a week, usually in mid to late afternoon time. He continues to follow me to shopping to various stores in various towns throughout the states.
Phrases he yells from the truck include:
"Kill or be killed remember Saco Shaws all transsexuals are alike"
"I keep a gun under the seat of my truck, I'm gonna use it to shoot you in the head, you transvestite freak"
if cars are going by he yells to them: "that thing is Ken's son, look at how's it's dressed; it's insane, it has autism, we can't allow that thing and it's gay cars in our family friend town of Old Orchard Beach"
He often babbles deranged ramblings about something he calls "the gay-pocalypse", raving lunacy about how "all the gays are gathering" on his doorstep. He raves some crazy nonsense about how Armageddon is coming and the war to end all wars will be "the gays against the Christians" and Christians have to be ready to "kill the gays"
My car is the Autism Awareness Car and had 2.5million marbles glued to it (I have Autism - savant - Kanner's syndrome) he claims tat my car "is gay" because of what it looks like. My car has been vandalized several dozen times, including to have the tires slashed 7 times in 6 months.
After dark often around 10PM, he stands at the end of the logging road across the street from me and shoots at my motohome (in February 2014 he shot holes in my neighbour's barn while doing this). I have video footage of 3 of his shootings at me here: https://youtu.be/NUebzJ9sz9U and here: https://youtu.be/C4dZbgG-Smw
This has gone on since August 2013 now, in addition to all the vandalism, hate crimes, pet beheadings, etc that has happened, including the bomb that blew up our house in 2006.
As you know, that whole time I had not been able to get a plate number on the truck. He as just here again, and I just realized why I could not get a plate number... there are no plates on the truck, either on the front or on the back. However, as he was driving away today... I noticed, there is a plate, stuck up in the back window of the truck, where it can barely be seen, deliberately obscured from view behind a silver tool box.