EelKat Wendy C Allen - Dark Fantasy Author

How I Became Obsessed With Avallac'h 

Image from my very 1st blind playthrough of the game, and the first time I ever saw Avallac'h.

Wow, that was so many years ago and so much has changed since then! 

If you ever wondered how I got so obsessed with Avallac'h, this picture is what started it.

I'm the author of a series that spans 130 novels, celebrates it's 42 anniversary this year, and feature an Elf Wizard main character. I have a 4 decade long love affair with Elven Wizards no matter where I find them.

And people wonder what the hell? Why did you get so crazy obsessed over Avallac'h?

* I love Elves.

* I love wizards.

* I hate torture.

* I have an actual medical diagnosis of having a Florence Nightingale Personality Disorder

*  I have an actual medical diagnosis of having Kanner's Syndrome

*  I have an actual medical diagnosis of having Severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

* I'm the founder of The Procter & Gamble Boycott, meaning vivisection is a pet peeve of mine that I fought 27 years of my life to eradicate

* I really hate torture in all forms but vivisection is the worst of all because it's how P&G killed my 2 dogs.


All images on this page are from:
The Witcher 3: 
Wild Hunt 
|Game of the Year Edition| 
Completionist Run: 
The Avallac'h Playthrough
(Watch It Live HERE)




And the game decided to drop a dying, vivisected, comatose Elf wizard, strapped to a torture table in my path.

I really, really, really HATE vivisection, and well, you can see the end result of the game giving me a vivisected Elf wizard.

Florence Nightingale Personality Disorder: someone suffering from an innate mental and emotional need to rescue victims and heal the sick; prone to developing a strong emotional, romantic, or erotic connection toward the patient being cared for

Vivisection torture: slicing open someone's veins without anesthetics for the purpose of injecting toxins into their bloodstream.

aka

The Draize Eye Test: pouring Draino, Tide, Windex, Mr. Clean, Duracell battery fluid, and other toxic household items into the eyes of cats and dogs then counting the seconds/minutes it takes for the cleaning product to burn their eyes out of their head; on beloved family pets, lost cats and dogs, bought by Procter and Gamble from your local animal shelters. 

In the 1970s and 1980s P&G had no less than 3 animal test labs in each of all 50 states and advertised the Draize Eye Test as a way to put unwanted shelter animals to good medical use.  

I found out about it when 2 of my dogs got lost, and we traced them to an animal shelter, but it took a week for us to raise the money to buy them back and by that time P&G had already bought and killed them. 

I spent 27 years spreading the word of this and April 2013 P&G shut down all of their animal test labs and today are a animal-friendly company.

In a time long before the internet or social networking existed, I gathered together the support and backing of some of the world's largest corporations, politicians, including American presidents, and demanded an all out full stop on the sales of every product made by P&G, until they shut down their animal test labs. 

I hand wrote and mailed out 21,000 letters that first year. Then took secretarial typing, trained to reach a typing speed of 175 words per minute and increased my output by typing those letters.

No, not a class. I never went to school. I was caged since I was 8. My grandmother gave me a textbook on secretarial typing and typewriter, so I could increase my output of letters that she mailed... though I never knew where she mailed them.

Over the course of 27 years I typed up millions of letters, and gained a following of 300 million (three hundred million) people to type up letters with me. Though I did not know it at the time. I was alone. No access to news, TV, none of those things. Grammy Eva mailed the letters. She was the source of the addresses of politicians and businesses... not me. I only wrote the letters. Only this and nothing more.

I was 31 years old before I had the world outside of the clan. So I had no idea, for all those years, just how big of an impact all my hundreds of thousands of letters had, had on the world, on society. 

Unlike the Social Justice warriors of today, whose only real goal is 15 minutes of fame and their face on TV.... I had only one motive: for someone to please, please, please let me out this cage.

They called me "The Voice of the Voiceless" and said I spoke through the eyes of the animals. They didn't know how wrong they were.

When I found out that hundreds of millions of people read my P&G letters over the course of those 27 years I spent locked in a cage... it was heart breaking for me to see, what they THOUGHT those letters were, verse what those letters ACTUALLY were.

They thought the letters were fictional. They thought I was pretending to be a rat, locked in a cage, in an animal test lab, begging to be let out.

Nothing could have been further from the truth. And it horrified people when they found the truth.... that those letters, was not someone pretending to be an animal in a cage.... rather, those letters were written by a real, live, little girl, locked in a cage, only let on Sunday to go to church with the clan, then back in the cage, to wait for the endless line of men, who paid uncles money to rape children.

So many millions of people read my P&G letters, and mistakenly thought I was demanding animals be released from cages, when in fact, I was begging for someone to release me from a cage.

It speaks volumes.... how far, so many millions of people twisted my words, and used my words.... animal test labs were shut down in the name of EelKat Voice of the Voiceless, but not one of them, ever thought to locate the child behind the letters and find out, why she wrote so many millions of letters all begging for one thing: Please help me! Please let me out of this cage.

I wrote those letters for 27 years and no one ever helped me.

The FBI raid wasn't there for the children. They didn't even know we existed They found us while they were there. The FBI raid was for Heaven's Gate. The religious group my uncles belonged to. 39 people died in California, so many miles away from Maine. But the FBI raides every one of the Heaven's Gate Compounds trying to find out who know about the 39 murders in California... and that's how they found us children, now adults.... and world found out how wrong they were, in thinking the P&G letters was someone writing, the letters as though they were written by animals in cages. The discovery that the author of the P&G letters WAS in fact locked in a cage.... was the shock wave, that brought down the P&G Boycott and made people step back and look at how far, they had mistranslated my letters.

A child, locked in a cage, tortured, starved, and vivisected, was writing letters BEGGING FOR HELP... letters always signs "EelKat"... and the world, was so in furry, to rescue animals, they hundreds of millions of people were able to read those letters, and incorrectly assume, they were written by an adult, pretending to be an animal locked in a cage.

And those tens of millions of people, were so driven to rescue animals, that the child writing those letters, never received help and was never let out of the cage, until 27 years later, when her uncles who kept her prisoner, finally got involved with something big enough to bring in the FBI: Heaven's Gate and the murder of 39 people.

And so while, I eventually gained my freedom.... it wasn't because someone ever gave enough of a shit about me to want to help me. It was because, I happened to be found, while the FBI was looking for something else.

So no one ever did try to help me. Whhy? Because they were too busy with their own agendas.

To busy rescuing animals to rescue a child.

I inaccurately get branded as an animal rights activist because of those letters I wrote.

Why?

Because people could see past their own thoughts to think that I might not have been what they thought I was.

#YOU<<<thinking about animals in cages when I was asking to be let out of a cage DOES NOT mean I was asking you to rescue animals from cages!

#I SAY WHAT I MEAN, AND MEAN EXACTLY WHAT I SAY!

#THERE ARE NO HIDDEN MEANING IN MY WORDS! 

#THERE NEVER HAS BEEN! 

#AND THERE NEVER WILL BE!

There is no slang, no hidden meanings, no memes, no jokes, no riddles, no pretending .... I have Kanner's Syndrome ACTUAL AUTISM.... not Aspergers. Look it up.

People had it in their heads already that they wanted to rescue animals... they just used my letters as an excuse to take action.

BUT NOT A DAMNED ONE OF THEM TOOK THE ACTION THE LETTERS ASKED FOR: 

#LET ME OUT OF MY CAGE! 

#STOP THEM FROM SLICING MY ARMS AND POURING DRAINO INTO ME!

#LOOK AT THE SCARS ON MY ARMS! LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO ME! DAILY FOR YEARS!

#NO BODY KNOWS THE PAIN OF VIVISECTION TORTURE BETTER THEN I DO!

#AND NO ONE EVER THOUGHT TO HELP ME BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO BUSY USING MY LETTER TO SHUT DOWN ANIMAL TEST LABS!

My most radical followers went to extremes blocking delivery trucks from entering store parking lots, taking ice picks to any product on store shelves with P&G on the label, slapping stickers with pictures of cats and dogs still alive with their eyes burned out on the bottles of Draino, and throwing buckets of blood on customers coming out of stores with P&G products in their shopping carts. 

I found out about those things happening years later as I was 31 years old before I ever went outside. Going outside wasn't allowed and my hatred for the animals in cages was more my own cry to be let out of cage then anything else. I only wrote the letters. My grandmother snuck paper in for me to write and mailed the letters. The uncles didn't know. They would have beaten her and moved me to a smaller cage if they had. It shocked people after the FBI raid, when they found out, the girl who wrote the P&G letters, did so while locked in a cage, smaller and less sanitary than the cages the lab animals were in.

I hate cages. I hate them alot. It comes from 27 years locked in one.

I hate vivisection torture... a HUGE LOT... and I've got the scars on my arms and legs, to show you why.

People mistake me for an animal rights activist because of all the P&G letters. They are wrong. I wasn't screaming to let those animals out in those letters.... I I was screaming to be let myself.... and the FBI raid, the P&G letters to a back burner to shutting down every other child prostitution ring my uncles ran, and letting all the girls out of their cages. THAT was my main focus of the P&G letters. But few remember that... they mostly remember that a 12 year old girl went head to head with the largest monopoly in America, and won... and did it all while locked in a cage, sleeping in feces, going 12 days between being thrown food.... my letters went down in history, people calling me "The Voice of the Voiceless" because they said I wrote those letters as though I was one of those animals being tortured in a cage.... and after the FBI raid, they found out how damned true that was.

And still fight the bastards of the world to this day, because children don't belong in cages any more then animals do. Human trafficking takes center stage in my fight for justice today, but the P&G Boycott is the fuel that started that fire in me.

Branded as radical EcoTerrorists, The P&G Boycott was the first animal rights boycott of its kind, people rising up in mass hoards, and reached alarming levels when millions of followers rose up in every country on the planet, targeting not only P&G but EVERY company with any level of animal cruelty.  And they thought they were doing it, because they thought, letting animals out of cages, was what EelKat, Voice of the Voiceless wanted.... when all she wanted was to be let out of a cage herself.

The offline social networking of the 1970s made today's online social networking of the internet, look merger at best.

The P&G Boycott spread like a plague across the planet throughout the 1970s and 1980s.

The P&G Boycott shut down the animal test labs of P&G, Estee Lauder, and Avon, while getting the words "not tested on animals" on products in the stores, and spawning it's even more radical spin off organization PETA.

The P&G Boycott was both the first and the largest Social Justice Warrior movement in history and is why we have SJWs today.

I was dubbed by my tens of millions of followers as "The Voice of The Voiceless" and since the FBI raid that finally let me out of my cage... I went on to found dozens of other boycotts, including to get the law passed that allowed LGBTQA+ citizens in America the right to own businesses.

Today we (now elderly, but still going) P&G Boycotters are currently fighting for the rights of transgender citizens and that is why I own The Transgender Awareness Tour Bus, that is what you see me going to conventions in.

And it all started with the vivisection murder of 2 dogs. An Irish Setter named Sarge and a Springer Spaniel named Bridget. The first letter I wrote.... That one went to Proctor & Gamble. It was the only one that went to them. And all it said:

*Why did you kill my dogs? They were the only friends I had. I had no one else to talk to from my cage.*

They sent me back a $10 package of coupons. A lot of good that did me.

I devoted 27 years of my life to eradicating vivisection torture from the planet... mostly because I just wanted it to stop being done to me.

Nothing is going to light a fire under my ass faster than vivisecting someone.

So... seeing Avallac'h vivisected in the Trial of Grasses, REALLY hit a nerve with me, big time, resulting in, the Avallac'h obsession you see today.


Do you have any idea how much vivisection hurts?

I do.

I lived through it for years.

I hate torture.

You can't even begin to imagine how very, very, very much I hate torture. I was tortured for decades, by monsterous uncles. And I can't stand to see any one tortured.

I've seen other torture scenes in other games, but not vivisection. They vivisected Avallac'h. Vivisection is something I know far too well.

That why I hate things like BDSM and bondage fetishes and dominatrixes so much.

Those things are people play acting torture.... but I guarantee, if they were ever really tortured, they'd never play act it again. They'd run screaming from it. Horrified.

Torture is not a game. BDSM and bondage fetishes and dominatrixes - those things shouldn't exist, because those things inspire vile perverted men to torture children.

I can't even begin to imagine, how horrible a person you would have to be, to like something BDSM and bondage fetishes and dominatrixes. Why would anyone want to take part in pretend torture? Do they not know, how much real torture hurts? 

The mere mention of torture sends nightmares through my brain, bringing back old memories of the torture I went through at the hands of my uncles.

The Ugly Baby quest. It's a torture scene. And it triggered my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, really bad.

Had they not been vivisecting him in this scene.... I probably would have finished the game, and moved on to our next scheduled game: American Truck Simulator, followed by Skyrim, and FallOut4.

The vivisection scene is why, when we got to the end, instead of playing the next game as scheduled, we replayed Witcher 3, to go back and pay closer attention to this quest (Ugly Baby)... and at the same time we did that, there was a kidnapping and murder in my family, and for some reason, somehow, my brain focused on healing Avallac'h as a way to cope with the murder trial, lawyers, and court dates that became my daily offline life from May 2015 to October 2016.

June 2016, the 3, still unidentified attackers who broke my spine and hip November 2013, (and who are suspected of also being the kidnappers and murderers) returned and did it again, this time damaging my spinal column and doctors can't operate, they say it's too dangerous. Leaving me bedridden.

When the murder trial ended at a stand still because the murderer is not yet identified.... and family members I normally would have played games with weren't there because their heads had been nailed to my door... I just replayed Witcher 3 a third time instead of doing anything else.

Avallac'h had not yet taken center stage...

...and had I not been beaten, crippled, and bedridden just before reading the novels, he probably wouldn't have.

I read the novels near the end of my 3rd playthrough and, the rape scene on page 179 of Lady of the Lake, the scene that leaves Avallac'h brutally beaten, and crippled the rest of his life... with injuries nearly identical to my own... hit yet another nerve with me.... and this time a much bigger nerve then the vivisecting scene had hit.

There were other things too. The baby was another big one. I know what it is to want a baby. To lose a baby. Several parts of chapter 5 of Lady of the Lake, were hitting way too close to home with real life events of my life, each one of them drawing me to empathize with Avallac'h even more.

The vivisection started it is, the baby kept it going, and page 179 really drove the nail home.

Had he not been vivisected in the game, had his desire for baby not been so strong, and had he not been beaten and crippled in the novels... you probably wouldn't be seeing my Avallac'h Playthrough today, because those  events are what inspired me to make the Avallac'h Mod and play the game the way you see me playing it today.

The problem here is... there's been any one I could identify with. How many people do you know who were locked in a cage for 27 years and continually vivisected? I don't have anyone I can talk to about it, because no one understands what it is like, because no one else ever went through it and lived. Worst Child Abuse Case in American History, that what people called it.  It's a thing so rare, that the only person I can find, who knows what it's like to go through it.... isn't even real. He's a fictional character.... Do you know what that's like?

And then people like ThingyChan come along and think it's fun to take the abuse and torture I went through and make jokes and memes about it. Calling me a BDSM Dominatrix with fetishes.... doing that behind my back, while pretending to be my friend, for the full 2 years she did it.

And what happened because of what she did? She had so many people convinced that I was a deviated sex freak, that a big streamer took to raiding my Twitch channel with the raid message "deserve to be raped".

And if that wasn't bad enough, she had people so convinced that I was the BDSM dominatrix she was lying and telling I was, that 5 men showed up at my house to gang rape me. Wasn't that nice of her?

close up on damages to The Dazzling Razzberry, caused by ThingyChan's "just having fun" and spreading vile sexual rumors about me on the internet and convincing thugs is was okay to break into my house for a BDSM gang rape

more damages to the Dazzling Razzberry, done by the BDSM gang bang rapists ThingyChan sent to my house February 2019

ThingyChan, OutsideLane, Zutrix, and NivanaRavenBum  making 200+ VODs and posting 2,000+ Discord posts calling me a dominatrix, saying I was into bondage, BDSM, and foot fetishes, resulted in some incredibly perverted, immoral, deviated men showing up at my house expecting to have sex with me, expecting to find me willing to throw myself on them, expecting they could do anything they wanted to me. 

Do you know why my family moved February 2019? 

At the time I was staying with my dad on his 3rd floor apartment, in a building that had 28 families in it.

To get in the building you have to go through a front entry hall, go through 2 separate sets of doors, and then find your way through the halls and stairways to find which apartment you are looking for.

Because a group of 5 men showed up at 2AM one night. They broke BOTH the 2 front doors off and threw them out into the street. 

They made their way up the stairs, punched the glass and screens out of every window they passed on their way.

With baseball bats they smashed up all o the posts on the stair railings, broke the railings off the stairs and threw them out a window onto one o the resident's cars below.

The ripped the front door off the apartment next door to mine, went into that apartment and gang raped the 2 young mothers (sisters) who lived there with their 2 and 4 year old babies.

After that they went back outside, smashing the walls on their way down, pulling out electrical wiring and plumbing pipes as they went.

Once outside they proceeded to trash the 3 cars parked in the driveway, one of them being my Dazzling Razzberry. They used their bats to smash out the glass, and smash up the metal.

 They did more then $230,000 in damages to our landlord's building, put 2 women in the hospital, put my 82 year old dad in the hospital with a ruptured kidney,  left 28 families homeless, and totaled 3 cars, including my car which they did $30,000 in damages to.

They told the police officers who arrested them, that they were told they could find a "BDSM Gang Bang Dominatrix" living in this building. They said they found posts on Discord that claimed I had an open invitation for men to do this. At the time, I didn't know they were talking about ThingyChan's Discord.

EVERYBODY in the building had to move because the damages were so bad that the city condemned the building.

Go watch the fucking VOD... I was streaming when they showed up. We got the damned thing recorded on camera.

We had half the police in the state of Maine show up because so many of my viewers were calling the police from all over the damned fucking planet.

#I live Maine, USA. After the arrest, the police department said they had calls coming in from Finland, Germany, and Australia, reporting a massive gang attack happening live on stream!

#Yeah... that damn attack happened while I was streaming Witcher 3 and my viewers all saw it happen.

#THAT IS THE SIDE EFFECTS OF THE SEX LIES THINGYCHAN WAS SPREADING ABOUT ME ON TWITCH AND DISCORD LYING ABOUT ME SAYING I WAS A BDSM DOMINATRIX AND TELLING PEOPLE I WAS INTO BONDANG AND BDSM AND THAT IT WAS FUCKING OKAY TO COME TO MY HOUSE LOOKING FOR GANG BANGS!!!!!!

Discord and Twitch BOTH have ToS policies stating you may not make videos or posts that...

*is threatening, abusive, harassing, defamatory, libelous, deceptive, fraudulent, invasive of another’s privacy, tortious, offensive, profane, pornographic or obscene, or promotes hate or incites violence; or misrepresents the source, identity* 

ThingyChan, OutsideLane, Zutrix, and Niv did a hell of a lot of all of the above in their 200+ Twitch VODs and 2,000+ Discord posts about me, defaming my character, slandering my name, making pornographic and obscene statements about me, misrepresenting me and my identify, causing an invasion of my privacy by inciting hate crimes and violence.

I am deeply distressed by this. 

And why did they do this?

I do not know.

Asking them why they did it, I got no answers other than they were "just having some fun" and "we was just fooling around, can't you take a joke?"

A joke?

Seriously... you call raping 2 young mothers, crippling an 82 year old man, killing a small boy, trashing 3 cars, and doing $230,000 in damages to a medical apartment building leaving 28 families homeless... A FUCKING JOKE!!!!!

What the hell is wrong with you people!

This is harassment on extreme levels of insanity!

Harassment is NOT a joke!

Rape is NOT a joke!

Vandalism is NOT a joke!

You people sure have a sick sense of what a "joke" is!

I'm asexual, a minister, have PTSD from having been been raped before... I'm bedridden and crippled from a gang of 3 strangers attacking me with baseball bats in a WalMart parking lot... the last thing I want is anything to do with sex, BDSM, or bondage. What the fuck is wrong with her spreading those malicious gossiping slanderous rumors and lies about me?

And she fucking sent those bastards to my house!

You're annoyed by my playthrough? Well, I'm annoyed by the daily dozens of emails telling me how pissed off you are.

And for those wondering: 

#How many people have contacted me? How many Ciri fans have reached out to say how pissed off they are?

The number is astounding, and way higher then the total amount of views my channel has (62, 000).

Here on Twitch, since May 13, 2018, I have received hate filled chat comments and whisper messages from 7,000+ different Twitch usernames. Many of those being death threats, included 712 Death Threats being posted in my chat, just in a single month (September 2018)

However, you can find screenshots from the Avallac'h Playthrough on nearly every social media platform out there: FaceBook, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, Reddit, Nexus, Instagram, MySpace, LinkedIn, Blogger, WordPress, LiveJournal, and more.... in total 3.4 million usernames follow me in these places.

And though those social networks, I recieve well over 1,000 hate messages from enraged Ciri fans EVERY MONTH.... in total more than 21,000 enraged Ciri fans have contacted me through the social networks.

My website, where you can find the very NSFW nude screenshots from the sex quests that never streamed on Twitch... each image of nude Ciri with nude Avallac'h gets 50,000 to 70,000 views each month. And to contact me from there, you contact via email.

The images they are referring too, I can not post here on Twitch to show you. But I can tell you I have mods that both Ciri and Avallac'h functioning - FUNCTIONING - genitals. And it's THOSE pictures that result in the biggest, longest, most ernage, most infuriated,most hate filled emails of all.... more than 20,000 of them EVERY MONTH.

#In total, since May 13, 2018 I have received hate messages, hate comments, and hate emails from an astounding more than 300,000 different email addresses.

Ask me again why I had to turn chat off here on Twitch?

One thing The Avallac'h Playthrough has taught me is that the bulk of Ciri's fans (not Witcher fans in general - JUST fans of Ciri herself) are obnoxious, deranged, psychotic, violent, hostile men in their 30s, who can not tell the difference between fantasy and reality, believe Ciri is the ACTUAL REAL WORLD wife, and are very vocal about how much they really, really, really hate Avallac'h a lot *(usually for "touching my wife/waifu" as they put it)* and want to kill me, for posting pictures of Ciri and Avallac'h as a couple.

With the level of hostility these men use in contacting me *(a bedridden, crippled, elderly woman)*, I'd hate to see what would happen if you tossed a few of these men in the same room together.... they would most definitely kill each other, because they clearly can't tolerate any "competition for Ciri's affections" (as they term it.

I think the most frightening part of all, is that these men are so deranged, so mentally unstable, that they are unaware Ciri IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. Some of them have gone so far as to talk of things they do with Ciri with take her on dates, and how enranged they are to learn that she's been sneaking off with Avallac'h, behind their backs.

Yeah. A surprisingly large amount of the emails, read like that: these are not normal fans. These are clearly mentally disturbed people who are not taking their meds and desperately need to.

And my guess, quite a few of them are former mental institution patients who are walking free only because the hospital they used to be straight jacketed in got shut from lack of government funding.

But damn.... it's not a few.... more then 300,000 of these enraged, hate filled men who believe Ciri is real and is their wife, have contacted me with their vehement hatred for not only Avallac'h, but also for me, for putting Ciri with Avallac'h in the pictures I post online.

That's a REALLY BIG number.

And the bulk of them include the phrase "I'm so pissed off" alongside "poor Ciri". While more than half of them include various death threats.

I don't get it. Is there some sort of internet meme going around, I don't know about, that says if you are talking about Ciri, you have to start every post, comment, email, etc you write with the phrase: "I'm so pissed off"?

That alongside what Claudia did, sending those men to my house, it's very difficult to even want to go on. Especially with the destruction of my car. It took me 4 years to build that car. I wasn't crippled then. My muscles had not started deteriorating yet. I could stand there for hours painting and gluing marbles. I did. It took me 4 years working 8 hours a day, to glue those 2.5 million marbles to that car.

And all that work gone, destroyed by hate mongers. Why did Claudia send those men to my house?

I don't understand what was going through her mind.

Why would you do something like that?

She told them I was a BDSM Dominatrix looking for a gangbang rape and sent them to my house. She thought it would make for a funny joke. Raping 2 women, the attempted murder of an elderly man, totalling 3 cars, and 28 families becoming homeless because the city condemned the apartment building because of the $230,000 in damages.... that's a hell of a BIG "joke". I'm not laughing am I? I see what Claudia did as funny at all.

A lot of people got hurt. How is that funny?

Three people almost died. Tell me how that is funny?

Twenty-eight families were made homeless. Why do you think that is funny?

Because it's something Ciri would do? Yeah, you're right. It IS something Ciri would do. But Ciri's not real. Ciri is a fictional character. 

And Avallac'h, who you hate so much, he's not real either. 

But those people who got hurt at 27 High Street in Biddeford, Maine.... those people who almost died... those people who lost their cars... those people who lost their home... They were real. They are real. 

Those 2 women that got BDSM gang raped by the men Claudia sent to our house... they were young girls in their 20s, sisters sharing an apartment, both with a baby, one 2 years old the other 4 years old. Military wives. Their husbands overseas.

Those 28 families... one was an elderly couple in their 80s taking care of their quadriplegic son. 

Another was a couple, whose wife was bedridden and on oxygen life support.

Another was a couple with 5 children, struggling to make ends meet... one of their sons has Leukemia... or he did... he's dead now.

And you know what? He might still be alive if his family hadn't been homeless for 2 weeks without access to proper care for him

Think about THAt.... especially you Claudia, because you are the one who told those 5 men they could come to my house and find me a BDSM dominatrix waiting for them. Proud of sex lies about me now? A little boy DIED because of you. You know that makes you? A child murderer by proxy. Can you live with yourself, knowing a little boy died because you spread lies about a crippled elderly woman telling men to go to her house to get BDSM bondage sex?

Have you noticed a trend?

It was a medical building. An apartment just outside of the hospital, that house critically crippled patents and their families.

I'm crippled. I need the help of nurse to take a bath, use the toilet, and to get out of bed and sit up here at the computer to stream. Yeah, it's that bad. That's why I lived there.

Children dying from cancer, housed next door to the hospital so their families could be with them during their long months of chemo. They lived there too.

You made them homeless.

Crippled elderly and crippled children. 

You beat them up, raped them, destroyed their cars, and destroyed the building they lived in.

Real, live, crippled elderly and crippled children, beaten, raped, and made homeless, because you want to fuck Ciri's fictional ass.

Are you proud of what you did?

Your little "joke", your little Avallac'h hating, Ciri glorifying, let's rape every body and smash and trash their house.... Do you know how sick that makes you?

And you sent them to my house, telling them that I was a BDSM dominatrix.

Do you even know WHO THE HELL I AM?

I am an ordained Marija Loa!

It's a type of CATHOLIC NUN!

Marija Loa.... it means married to god.

I am an ordained minister, a priestess, my rank and title being Medsen Fey Marija Loa to Damballah Weddo, in service to Erzulie Freda and Erzulie Dantor.

I was ordained a Medsen Fey in 2003 and I'm one of only 3 nuns in the United States to become Marija Loa, which happened in 2013.

It's a fucking rank in the Catholic Church!

Voodoo is a branch of the Catholic Church. 

To be ordained a minister in the Voodoo religion you are ordained by Catholic priests.

Hungans, Mambos, Medsen Fey, Marija Loa - they are Haitian words meaning Priest, Nun, Father Superior, Mother superior.

You are spreading sex rumors and sex lies about a damned nun!

Think about THAT.

Marija Loa.

A type of NUN!

Do you know what a nun is? 

A nun is a woman who is married to God. Yes, as in there is an actual wedding, with wedding dress and marriage vows. She remains celibate. Sex is not a part of her life. No men are allowed to touch her. 

Are you starting to see, how damn EVIL you are Claudia for spreading lies that someone like me was a BDSM dominatrix!

You sent gang bang rapists to the home of a Catholic Nun telling them that she was a BDSM Dominatrix!

Do you know ow many levels of HELL there are for you Claudia!

The absence of the car vlogs is worse than you know. I can't walk anymore, but I could drive. My car was my only ability to get outside, my only contact with people at all outside of Twitch. And with chat having to be shut off due to the hate... I have no one to talk to at all now.

The enraged Ciri fans are not just attacking online. A group of them showed up at my house. They nearly killed 2 of my neighbours, my 82 year old dad, they totaled 3 cars including mine, and left 28 families homeless after doing $230,000 in damages to the apartment building we was living in then. 

Why?

Because you are so delusional, that you believe Ciri is you REAL, ACTUAL wife, cheating on you with Avallac'h, because I have pictures of them together on my FaceBook?

What is wrong with you people?

Ciri is NOT your wife. And not she's not cheating on you with Avallac'h. And do you know why?

Because Ciri and Avallac'h are NOT real.

It's just a game and these are fictional characters. Don't you know that?

Why are you people doing this?

I've never done anything to hurt any of you.

What is wrong with you?

You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

Not just the 5 of you who showed up at my house, not just the 712 who were chanting "deserve to be raped in my Twitch chat", but every single damned one of you. All 300,000+ of you who have sent me emails telling me how pissed off you are, and poor Ciri this and poor Ciri that, all your death threats, and all you stupid jackassery.

Every damned one of you ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

Have you really got nothing better to do with your lives then send hate mail to a crippled, bedridden elderly woman?

Would you do to your grandmother what you do to me?

You call me obsessed with Avallac'h? Yes, that is true.... but what are you? You are far more obsessed with Ciri, than I am with Avallac'h, and while all I'm doing is playing a video game to alleviate the boredom of being bedridden and crippled, you are actually hurting people. Think about that.

Am I'm not the only one you sickos are doing this too. I'm just the only one speaking out against it.

I didn't used to be the only Witcher exclusive channel on Twitch. I didn't used to have the only heavily modded Witcher playthrough on Twitch. There were dozens of others, just a year ago. And you did the same damned thing to every one of them.

The guy who was playing the game as Radovid, the one who taught me how to build The Avallac'h mod.... the hate you sent him for doing a similar playthrough, playing as Radovid, with Lodge as travel companions, putting Phillipa as the sex quest girls... you fucking chased him off Twitch. That playthrough was amazing. Yeah, Radovid is a jackass and I can't stand hm, but hell that playthrough was awesome!

The girl playing the game as Yennefer and turning Triss into the sex girls, doing a full lesbian romance run of Yen and Triss saying fuck off to Geralt and travel the countryside together... you hate mongered her off Twitch!

Heck, the woman who was doing the Ciri run, playing the game as Ciri, using the fucking Shjall mod - the mod that turns every killable character into Avallac'h... the streamer who posts on Tumblr all those pictures of Ciri murdering Avallac'h... you even harassed her off Twitch! You ought to like her, she had Ciri killing Avallac'h every damned day! It was hysterical. I loved her streams. she found so many ways to kill Avallac'h, it was damed awesome, and now it's gone.

All the guys who were playing the game with WEE and Ghost Mode.... you hate mongered them away too.

The Legolas guy.... playing the game as Legolas; the guy playing the game as Batman, the guy playing the game as FF Cloud, the guy with Henry Cavill Geralt mods,... you chased all of them out too!

What the hell is wrong with you people?

You ain't fans of the Witcher series.

You ain't Ciri fans.

You're just a bunch of hate mongering trolls looking to destroy the Witcher modding community.

The Witcher 3 section of Nexus had 7,000+ mods in December 2018.... it has barely 2,000 mods now in 2020..... because you hate mongered the mod makers on Nexus so bad they deleted their accounts and pulled theirs mods off of Nexus.

You are hurting HUNDREDS of people.

Twitch streamers and Nexus mod makers alike.

And do you ever once step back and stop to think about who these people are, that you are attacking and hurting?

Did you ever once stop and think that you are hurting REAL people?

I can't tell you who the others you are bullying are, but I can tell you who I am:

I am an crippled, bedridden, elderly woman with no one to talk to. Alone 24 hours a day, for weeks to a time, sometimes going months between a 5 minute visit from family or friends. I have no one. And I can't get out of bed to do anything about it. It's why I play this game. 

And after playing the game several times, I started making mods for it.

And because I am crippled, bedridden, elderly woman with no one to talk to. Alone 24 hours a day, for weeks to a time, sometimes going months between a 5 minute visit from family or friends. I have no one. And I can't get out of bed to do anything about it. ... I have 24 hours a day to focus on making mods for this game and in the past 3 years I've made more than 4,000 mods for it. 

I don't have anything else in my life.

I don't have anyone in my life.

I'm alone in bed all day, all night, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, since I was attacked in a WalMart parking lot November 14, 2013, by 3 strangers with baseball bats who broke my spine, my hips, my knees, and left me crippled.

Did you think about that before clicking send on your hate? Or before getting in your car and driving all the way to my house, to lash out your hate in person?

I may be obsessed with my love for Avallac'h, but it pales in comparison to your obsession with your illogical and unwarranted hated for me, for Avallac'h, and for other mod makers in the Witcher community. 

I'm not nearly as obsessed with Avallac'h, as you are obsessed with me.

Think about that.

I'm just playing a video game.

You are destroying lives.

I'm just here playing a video game, minding my own business, not bothering anybody.

You are running around like a rabid dog looking for something to kill.

I am a gamer.

You are bully.

Maybe you ought to take a good long look in the mirror - see yourself, the way I see you: for your are pure evil.

The extreme amount of hate and the excess levels of the hate I get from this, something that I do love very much, is depressing, terrifying, and discouraging, to say the least, especially, there is never any good or kind comments and emails to offset the hate, and when there is at the same time not one single person out there who is also a fan of Avallac'h for me to talk to at all.

#The exponential increase of hate mails since the release of the Netflix series, alongside my daily worsening health is why streams are no longer daily and no longer 12 hours. 

My muscles are deteriorating, the pain in my joints is excruciating, and it is increasingly difficult for me to sit up at all, let alone get out of bed, and with the amount of hate I get thrown at me, it gets ever harder to even want try to fight against the pain in my muscles to try to stream at all, when there is little joy in streaming any more.

ThingyChan, OutsideLane, Zutrix, and Niv making 200+ VODs and posting 2,000+ Discord posts calling me a dominatrix, saying I was into bondage, BDSM, and foot fetishes, was incredibly damaging to my reputation, my career, and put my life in extreme danger.

Not only that, but what they did put 3 people in the hospital, made 28 families homeless, totaled 3 cars, and a the landlord and his family without a job. And ThingyChan, not only refused to apologize, she doesn't give a shit "because it's fun!" Well, excuse me if I don't see what is fun about being a dick and hurting people.

What the hell is with people like her? How do people get like that? 

Wasn't my life enough hell without pieces of shit like her adding more hell to it?

She's no different from my uncles. stabbing me with forks, slicing my arms with shards of a broken plate... and pouring Draino into the wounds, to watch my blood bubble and foam. 

Bastards out of hell every one of them.... my uncles and the jackes online who think it's funny to make jokes about what those bastards did to me.

Why do I like Avallac'h so damned much? Because I don't have anyone else and he was tortured with vivisection too.

And that picture here, of Avallac'h strapped down to the torture table, slipping into a coma from being vivisected while Vesimire says Avallac'h's nerves are damaged resulting in trembling fingers and frozen pupils... that's the scene that set me on the path that lead to the creation of The Avallac'h Mod.

I really, really, really hate vivisection and can't stand to see it done to someone, because it was done to me and I know how the hell much that hurts.


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About This Game Play:

This current mod-making playthrough, is prep for a future fully-lore-friendly playthrough....

The ultimate goal of my mod making playthrough, is to make every character as lore-friendly as possible to how they were described in the novels.

Most specifically though we are transforming as much of the game as possible to match Chapter 5 of the novel Lady of the Lake, when Ciri lived with Avallac'h the first time, on The Lake of Avalon.

This current playthrough is largely a lot of test runs of hundreds of mods. It is being played open world with quests rarely happening, to allow us to run tests of various mods as I build them.

Due to the fact that the game engine, scripts, and other files is often open and being edited while I'm playing the game, this current playthrough is very unstable with bugs and glitches happening  daily and game crashes happening, sometimes as often as every few minutes.

You are witnessing a live overhaul and full rewrite of the game, that when finished will be used in a complete (more normal style) playthrough of the game.

However do not expect to see the lore-friendly playthrough any time soon. 

I began building this overhaul mod May 13, 2018 and have worked on it daily for 4 to 12 hours a day, all of it streamed here on Twitch, and... 

...while we've now altered over 2,000 script files, more than 7,000 textures, several hundred meshes, 400+ xml files, dozens of ini files, and have now begun work on changing 3D models...

...this project is far from finished and could see as much as another 3 years of daily work before completion.

Computer  stats: 

Motherboard: Asus Z170

Processor: i7-7000 @4.20GHz

RAM: 16 GB

Graphics Card: NVirdia 1070 GTX

Capture Card: AVerMedia Live Gamer HD


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