Home of The Autism Awareness Car
Homepage for the Fantasy series:
The Adventures of The Pink Necromancer, Quaraun The Insane
-- ten MILLION copies sold and counting!
Founded in 1996, we are Maine's Oldest, Largest, & Most Trafficked Website.
Home to more than 10,000 articles aimed at helping young authors worldbuild, create characters, write novellas, edit manuscripts, design book covers, and self publish their work.
You Have Reached The Official Home Page of
The Scottish Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
Welcome To Our
Wonderful Summer Tourists of
Old Orchard Beach, Maine!
Summer 2017 is here!
 All 4 of my supposedly "haunted" cars:
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 “A lot of you cared, just not enough.” ― Jay Asher What are these giant 12 foot flags in my driveway?
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November 14, 2023 will be the 10 year anniversary of the November 14, 2013 murder of my 8 month old infant son, at BugLight Lighthouse Art Studio of Southern Maine Community College in South Portland, Maine. If you have any information about who his killer is, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207-774-9322
My Son Was Murdered, The Killer Walks Free, Your Child Could Be Next!
FAQ: What are the most visited pages on this website and how many visits do they get?
Several years ago, I wrote an article on how to write different types of magic uses, or rather how I personally write various types of magic users within the context of my Quaraun books. Today that page is one of my top ten most visited articles. It gets 50 to 500 views/reads/hits/visits per day depending on the time of the years and has had over 200k visits total since it was published.
Amphibious Aliens: Debunking The Atwater Family's Alien Abduction Hoax with more then 30MILLION reads since 2007 and The GoldenEagle: Debunking Stephen King's World's Most Haunted Car Hoax with over tenMILLION reads since 2007 still rank as the two most visited articles on my website, but, neither of those are writing related.
Writing Medieval Servants is my most visited writing related article with over 7MILLION reads.
This website was started in 1996 and has 1 to 3 new articles (all written by me, I am the only writer on this site) published almost daily. In 2017 we crossed ten thousand articles published. As of 2023, EACH article gets MINIMUM 10 to 70 reads PER DAY, with the high traffic articles getting 500+ reads per day.
And since December 2019, my website now gets three hundred thousand to 7 million reads per month - well over ONE HUNDRED MILLION PAGE READS PER YEAR, making it not only the single most trafficked site in the State of Maine, but also one of the most visited websites in ALL OF NEW ENGLAND!
{{{HUGS}}} Thank you to all my readers for making this possible!
Author of Cozy & Gothic Fantasy, Sweet/Fluffy M/M Furry Romance, Cosmic Horror, Space Opera, & Literary SoL genres. I write Elves, Fae, Unicorns, & Demons.
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Front Page Update Archive: May and June 2017
What Is This Site?
I'm an author. This is an author home page. It's about me, my life, my books, and my home town.
Someone just asked me this, so I'll answer it here. The question was:
"So what is your website about, anyways? I couldn't determine your site topic." (April 26, 2017)
My site covers one topic and one topic only:
The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine...
...where all my books, novels, short stories, plays, and articles are set; it's history, it's people, and how to use YOUR local town as a setting for your novels; that's what this place started out as in 1997.
Did you know that in 2004, Old Orchard Beach was featured on a United States Postage Stamp, and it was this photo, taken by me, that was choose to represent our town?
The site being about Old Orchard Beach is because this site is an author's home page about the author (me), her books, her life, her hobbies, her home (Old Orchard Beach), and because I'm an author with agoraphobia who hasn't set foot outside of her farm in 37 years, until a bomb blew up her house, and then never went more then 14 miles from her driveway in any direction, that and the fact that my family settled this town in 1530, founded it as "The Garden By The Sea" in 1648, and for 500 years my family has never left this spot. We are the oldest family in New England to still be the original settlement family on the original settlement land... and all of that means, I've no other topic to talk about. It's not like I've ever had contact with Humans or went any place. The locals call me a hermit, a feral child, and "The Sea Witch of Old Orchard Beach" for a reason you know. They also called my "Maine's Crazy Cat woman", but then they killed my cats, cut off their heads and nailed them to my door.
And while it covers just one, single, solitary topic, it also covers every, single, tiniest, minutest, possible aspect of that one topic.
On first appearances, it may seem that I have "hundreds" of "completely random" topics all over the place, however, when you start to ACTUALLY READ the articles, you realize fast that in reality my site as only one topic: The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
This site was founded in 1997 and has been for 20 years responsible for most of the online tourist promotion of our town... this one site has brought more tourists to our town then any other website on the planet. Mostly because of these two pages: Page #1 (1997) and Page #2 (2007) and more recently also This Page (2013).
With over 10 million lifetime views, Amphibious Aliens is my most popular and most trafficked article ever. Published April 17, 2007, it's now celebrating it's 10th anniversary.
This one page alone brings in 3,000 views a day, and has resulted in the annual arrival of 30,000 ufo hunter and MUFON member tourists arriving in Old Orchard Beach every summer since 2007.
This single page brings more tourists to Old Orchard Beach, then anything else found on or off the internet!
{{{Hugs}}} to all you wonderful people. I always look forward to meeting and talking with you each summer!
For Those Who Asked For
A Short Summery of Who/What Is Etiole...
- Locals believe in something called The Saco River Curse
- The belief is that in 1537 a Native American Indian Chief put a curse on The Saco River, assigning a demonic river god known as a Memequasi, to protect the tribe by killing white men.
- Since 1537 there have been more then 500 sightings of an albino cryptid "fish man" who lives in the swamps along the river and is said to be part eel or part salamander.
- Known to the local French residents as "Etiole" or "man from the stars".
- Called The Silver Salamander due to his thick, slime coated, iridescent, frog like skin.
- Known to MUFON as "an Amphibious Alien", a Siren, or a Dogon.
- In 1978, me and some of my cousins found him, sick and injured in the Ross Forest of Old Orchard Beach.
- We children started taking care of him and bringing him food and supplies.
- Realizing he was homeless and had no place to sleep at night I started letting him sleep in my car.
- He's been my best friend for nearly 40 years.
- He can not speak English well, appears to speak Hebrew and is covered with tattoos that look like Hebrew letters.
- Etiole himself, claims to be the Archangel Ertael, a Grigori Angel, one of the Watchers.
- He says Earth is his prison and Humans are the TRUE demons, beasts sent to torment him.
- He says Humans are deceived, that Earth is Hell and we're all trapped here.
- I can neither prove nor disprove that he is what he claims to be, but horrific scars run down his back and do look very much like he once had wings.
- I don't believe in aliens.
- I don't believe in demons.
- I don't believe Etiole is anything other then a very crippled HUMAN survivor of horrific abuse.
- I don't believe the car is haunted.
- I believe the people who believe Etiole is an alien/demon and that the car is haunted, are insane and in need of medical help.
- This page is about Etiole himself, the page about the haunted car can be found here.
- My family has been subjected to massive hate crimes at the hands of religious crazed residents of Old Orchard Beach who believe we are protecting a dangerous demon.
- They blew up our house with a bomb October 18, 2006.
- They filled my motorhome with hundreds of gallons of feces April 10, 2015.
- They kidnapped our cats, cut their heads off and nailed their heads to our door.
- The FBI & The US Department of Justice are currently investigating the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall and Police Department for their involvement in these horrific crimes.
- Complete detailed information about these more then 200 separate violent attacks can be found here.
EVERY single topic on my site, is about The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
The free sample chapter book excepts are from novels set in The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
The writing topics are about writing books set in The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
And writing the racist white power bigots of Old Orchard Beach accurately in your novels set in Maine.
Ku Klux Klan activity in The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
The Gypsy history topics are about the Gypsies who live in The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine. Including answering Stephen King fan questions about Thinner, and the endless questions about Gypsy Magic and Gypsy Religion Practices, as well as Gypsy Fortune Telling.
The art topics are about art by artists who live in The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
The world's most haunted car is a tourist attraction that can be found in The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
The alien encounters, abductions, and ufo sightings mentioned on this site, all occurred in The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
All the animals, plants, brooks, rivers, parks, etc mentioned on this site are ones you can find in The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
Restaurants reviewed, are all in The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
The site focuses a lot of writing fantasy and self-publishing, because that's my job, a job I do here in The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
Because I write Yaoi about Elves, Phookas, and Wizards and set those books in a Medieval version of The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, you also find my question & answer sessions with readers, writers, and authors posted here as well, along with my rants at writers who refuse to do their own work and the lazy wanna-bes who think they have to other authors to do everything for them (they used to be on A Writer's Desk - a different website, that I also own - EelKat.com being only one of my more then 200 websites.)
Because I've done NaNoWriMo every year since 2004, winning all but 2 years, and writing 50,000 words in 3 days instead of 30 days, you see all my old Squidoo articles on how I did it here as well. (I do my NaNoWriMo Writing at The Old Orchard Beach Library.)
Because I'm a code writer, creating Random Generators for writers, and the creator of the infamous Dare Generator, that Kendra Silvermander tries to take credit for, you see those posted here as well, seeing how they are things that were created in The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
Because I help local businesses in the Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, with their SEO and offline promotions and internet marketingmaking money online, you see that stuff here too.
I'm a vlogger and a gamer, both of which are done in the Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine and thus you see me talking about how I do my YouTube career as well.
The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine has a lot of history to it, a lot of things to do and see while you are here, a lot of cultures and traditions found no where else, including not found elsewhere in the State of Maine.
Because a lot goes on in our town, I am able to cover a lot of topics which on first appearances don't seem to go together, until you realize, they are all things you can find, see, and visit here in The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
In other words, if you can find it in The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, then you can find it on my site, no matter what it is: from amphibious aliens to zoos that shut down in the 1970s... if it ever existed in The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, it is on my website.
This website is the largest and most visited site on the internet that is devoted to The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
Did you know Old Orchard Beach was the first town in America to have a black town councilman?
Or that NONE of the town's first town councilmen were white?
The rest were either Jewish or Gypsy.
Old Orchard Beach's first town council meeting seen above.
The guy in the 2nd row, beside the guy with the yellow suit, is my great-grandfather George Ricker.
The black man is Emerson Cummings, whom Emerson Cummings Boulevard was named after.
In 1997 this site started out as a "How To Write" site, known as SpaceDock13, aimed at authors seeking to write novels set in real locales, and focused on teaching how I used the history, geography, and culture of Old Orchard Beach as the basis for all of my writing.
Over time this site evolved, when the "Ask EelKat" section started in 2003 and readers began asking more and more questions about the town and fewer questions about writing.
Now instead of being a site about writing, with sections about the town, it has become a site about the town, with sections on writing. pages off all of my 200+ websites and 32 blogs are slowly being moved to this site. As I move the pages off the old sites to here, the
All of my old sites are being shut down. Eventually everything will be on just this one site, and all the other sites will cease to exist.
Each of the smaller sites had their own topic. This site originally acted as my "author home page" and just featured my Twighlight Manor and Quaraun series books. However, as I live in Old Orchard Beach and all of my books are set in Old Orchard Beach, the topic of Old Orchard Beach took front and center place over time, thus the evolution of the site topic. Twenty years ago, back when I was a young kid in my 30's managing 200+ sites and 32 blogs was easy. Now in my senior years it grows more difficult to keep track of so many websites, so consolidating everything all into one is just plain easier for me to manage.
The Old Orchard Beach Fanlisting and Old Orchard Beach Fan Club and The Old Orchard Beach Review Comity, The Seawitch of Old Orchard Beach, as well as all of the other websites that were specifically titled "Old Orchard Beach ___" have now all been shut down. Their pages are showing up here as I have time to do so.
My Monster Porn websites, my Yaoi websites, my fanfiction websites, and most of my author interview and how-to write/publish sites, have also all been shut down already. Likewise their pages are currently being reuploaded here to this site. As these are the pages my fans have been requesting back online, it is the Monster Porn, Yaoi, writing, and publishing pages that are being given top priority during this move.
Most of my Voodoo, Hoodoo, Psychic, Card Reading, Spell Casting, Rootwork, Gypsy History, Magic Arts, and similar sites are now shut down. (This includes the original Amphibious Aliens article series - some 700,000 words worth; and the World's Most Haunted Car series) As these were the highest traffic pages of all of my sites, getting these pages back online is also in the top priority of the move.
My Keen and Etsy accounts, as well as my 900# are still online and probably will not be shut down, however, the listings are now turned off and I will no longer be doing card readings via these venues. Future card readings are now being done as a free service, and will be uploaded to my YouTube account. There will at some point be a section feature those videos here on this site, but it has not yet been made (as of May 2017). Spell casting services continue to be on a case by case basis, but will be more limited now then before. Candle lighting services are on temporary hiatus, as The Church of the Holy Rhinestone was torn down by vandals March 31, 2015 and we do not at this moment have a permanent candle alter set up.
Most of my Disney Fanlistings, Uncle Scrooge fan sites, Darkwing Duck fan sites, InuYasha fan sites, Sesshomaru fan sites, and comic book collecting sites have already been shut down. Those pages will eventually be moved here, but doing so is not a high priority, so those will likely be the last ones to go up.
There is a wait period between shutting down the old sites and reuploading pages here, as we have to wait for Google to unindex all the old pages of the old sites, a process that takes Google about 6 months to do. Once each old page is unindexed, they will be republished here. The entire process of moving all the pages off of all 200+ sites over to here, will take in total, about 5 years to complete.
The reason for choosing to keep this url, while shutting down the rest and moving them here, was because the url here is my name, and as I am the author of all the articles, it was simply logical to keep this url and house all my articles in one archive system, sorted by categories.
And there you have it.
The site topic.
Thanks to the "Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach" court order banning LGBTQA+ citizens from living in Old Orchard Beach (January 4, 2016)* and forcing 27 of my books out of publication for featuring a gay/bi-sexual transvestite main character (yes, The Old Orchard Beach Town Hall has decided to hell with the Constitution and Bill of Rights and the town hall being a government organization, has banned books, a civil rights violation and a federal offense, as it is illegal for any branch of the American government to ban books. Apparently Old Orchard Beach thinks it's it's own country now and the First Amendment no longer applies to them.) Because of this I have removed all tourist promoting pages and advertising.
I have also shut down...
- the Old Orchard Beach Fanlisting
- Old Orchard Beach Fan Club
- Old Orchard Beach Review Comity
- and all 32 of my Old Orchard Beach travel sites
...which is why motels and businesses in Old Orchard Beach no longer have any place to advertise their businesses online, seeing how I was the owner of all of those websites where they used to do so. The removal of all Old Orchard Beach topic sites not owned by the town itself, has resulted in all traffic that used to go to those sites, now redirects here instead.
Additionally, me and all 400+ members of our Clan have pulled funding from OOB356 and all other charity groups that support this town.
*State of Maine, Biddeford District Court Docket #BDDC-PA-2015-00574 and CV-15-58/CV-15-59, the Alfred Superior Court Docket #CV-15-299 and the Portland Superior Law Court Docket #YOR-15-253
Those websites will not be returning, until the government sanctioned, police enforced, terrorist hate crimes against the LGBTQA+ residents of Old Orchard Beach stops and the perpetrators put in prison.
If you didn't know, the FBI and the US Department of Justice (Civil Rights Division) are both here in Old Orchard Beach this summer (2017) investigating the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall, The Old Orchard Beach police Department, all the Old Orchard Beach businesses listed in the "Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach" court case, and any one with any connections to the Ku Klux Klan, Nazis, Neo-Nazis, and other white power terrorist organizations.
BEWARE of ANY and ALL businesses in Old Orchard Beach NOT hanging a rainbow flag on their building...
Businesses in Old Orchard Beach have agreed to band together in support of the non-white and LGBTQA+ residents and are hanging rainbow flags to show that they are NOT run by white power business owners.
If you see a business in Old Orchard Beach NOT hanging a rainbow flag, know that by refusing to do so, that business is showing their bold and open support of the white power, anti-gay terrorist activities happening in Old Orchard Beach.
It has been confirmed that 5 businesses in Old Orchard Beach are run by white power radicals with connections to anti-gay terrorist groups. It is suspected that as many as 300 of the businesses, stores, restaurants, and motels of Old Orchard Beach are owned and operated by persons connected to white supremacist and anti-gay terrorist organizations, including the Ku Klux Klan and the Westboro Baptist Church.
Know that if you shop at stores and stay at motels or use the services of ANY business in Old Orchard Beach that is NOT hanging a rainbow flag, that you are funding the building of bombs, the beheadings of pets, and other terrorist activities these criminals are doing in our town.
Help put an end to the terrorist hate crimes of Old Orchard Beach by refusing to spend your hard earned money at the businesses owned by terrorists.
Do not shop in, stay at, eat in, or use the services of ANY and ALL business in Old Orchard Beach, who are refusing to hang rainbow flags on their signs and/or building.
And for those who ask "Why EelKat.com?" Because that's my name, and in testing out various search result on the old url, it was determined most people looking for articles written by me, typed the search term "eelkat of squidoo" and were NOT seeking out my articles by searching "old orchard beach". My name outranks the town's name in search engine optimization tests we did in 2013, before changing the url.
This site was founded in August 17, 1997 with new pages added almost daily since then, there are now 6,000+ pages on SpaceDock13, but not all of them are public access. If you reach a page that asks you to log in with a password, that page is members access only, reserved for members of our writing group. You have to be a local author and attend the meetings to gain password access to the private pages of this site. At the moment only 1,030 pages are public access. However 700+ of those are set to "no follow" so you CAN NOT go to Google/Bing/Yahoo/DogPile/Jeeves and search for them as I have search engine bots blocked from indexing them. There are only about 300 pages that have search engine bot access, all other pages can only be accessed by clicking links to them, found on other pages of this site. It has changed urls multiple times as best fit the times. As of September 23, 2013, this site is now on EelKat.com url.
Update: June 2, 2017
Posted on Friday, June 2, 2017 | Leave a comment
This blog now exists as the archive for EelKat.com.
All new posts will be found on EelKat.com from now on.
All of the posts here are being moved to EelKat.com. As there are 6,000 of them, it’ll take a bit of time to do so.
Since Squidoo shut down, all of my Squidoo articles are also being moved to EelKat.com. We are moving them in order of popularity (how my views they got per day).
We will continue to post updates here, for my 243,139 subscribers who are still getting the email updates of new posts from here. We’ve removed indexing for this url, so it’ll no longer appear in search engine search results and only my subscribers will be alerted to the existence of the new posts.
Articles and posts which have already been moved, include:
Amphibious Aliens (was averaging 3,000 views per day!)
With over 10 million lifetime views, Amphibious Aliens is my most popular and most trafficked article ever. Published April 17, 2007, it's now celebrating it's 10th anniversary.
The GoldenEagle (aka Christine) aka The World’s Most Haunted Car
Phookas (NaNoWriMo 2007: Writing The Ruby Humming Bird)
Fight Scenes. How to Write Them.
Writing Medieval Servants in Historical Fiction
What The Ocean Gives Me (How Things In Your Life Affect Your Writing)
Twighlight Not Twilight – Part 2
NaNoWriMo 2010 Day 3 – Traveling Shovel of Death Arrives at The Twighlight Manor
Do you write a novel start-to-finish, or keep going back and editing previous chapters?
How valuable is a writer’s group?
What Exactly is a Bestselling Book? (With info on a common way authors scam readers)
Is vanity/subsidy publishing really a scam or just another publishing method?
NaNoWriMo Overachievers: How did you do it?
EelKat’s Guide to NaNoWriMo / How Long is 50,000 Words?
How long does it take to hit 1667 words? and 50k in one day – is it possible?
Dear Author; You Stole My Idea – I was going to write a book, but you already wrote it 10 years ago!
Script Frenzy 2010 Updates The Alien Bible
SCRIPT FRENZY 2010: I WON! Info on what I’ve done so far… & Psycho Stalker Attacks
Authors vs Bad Reviews Are Bad Reviews Good For You?
Don’t put flyers on people’s cars…
How to use Yahoo Answers to promote your book and author website.
The Terrorists of Old Orchard Beach Put My Dad In a Coma
Harassment Continues in Old Orchard Beach, Maine
Harassment Continues in Old Orchard Beach, Maine
February 10, 2008 – Harassment Continues in Old Orchard Beach, Maine
Tired of people who don’t care. Tired of the harassment.
No Christmas this year (AGAIN) thanks to the ongoing spread of witchcraft rumors
Colour Magic Use of Colours In Gypsy Magic
Wasn't This Page Different Yesterday?
Answering another question: "Wasn't this page different yesterday?"
Yep. Probably. I update pages daily. Move pages constantly. Re-write codes every few weeks. Publish 1 to 10 new pages every day. And post daily updates on various pages. The front landing page (this one you are reading now) changes daily. It'll feature different articles every day.
The first draft of an article shows up here the day it's written, then 2 or 3 days later gets moved to it's own page with it's own url.
This site is VERY active. If you don't come back daily, you'll defiantly miss out on something.
Latest Updates:
Last 5 Pages Updated:
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Writing Prompts Featuring Magical Flying Carpets
Sep 24, 23 02:35 PM
Flying Carpet Themed Writing Prompts For Many Genres For The 52 Stories in 52 Weeks Writing Challenge -
Unearthing Ancient Artifacts Themed Writing Prompts
Sep 23, 23 04:48 PM
Unearthing Ancient Artifacts Themed Writing Prompts For Many Genres For The 52 Stories in 52 Weeks Writing Challenge -
Thoughts on Becoming a Fantasy Writer
Sep 23, 23 12:06 PM
Thoughts on Becoming a Fantasy Writer -
Reasons Authors Should Start a Blog: Enhance Your Writing Skills
Sep 23, 23 09:05 AM
Reasons Why Fantasy Authors Should Start a Blog: Enhance Your Writing Skills -
Reasons Authors Should Start a Blog: Expand Your Author Platform
Sep 23, 23 08:37 AM
Reasons Why Fantasy Authors Should Start a Blog: Expand Your Author Platform
Language Warning?
Answering another question: "Do you have to swear so much?"
Damn, fucking, bloody hell, yes. And if you don't like it, you can take your elitist shit head, stuff it up your holier than thou ass, and jump off a cliff.
I'm Scottish. We swear. We flip birdies. We flash moons. And in 2015 when crazy locals were accusing me of being a transvestite, I did a Lady Godiva doned a purple cape and walked from from my driveway way at 146 Portland Ave to the town hall at 1 Portland Ave. I had to pay a $1,500 fine for wearing nothing but a cape, but I guarantee there is no one in Old Orchard Beach who saw my 38DD boobs and unshaved vagina who questions if I'm female any more.
I'm Scottish and I have Autism and Schizo Effective Personality Disorder. Look it up. It means nothing embarrasses me, I'm bold as brass, and walk into battle bull headed, fearless... and naked, because nothing stops a non-Scottish war lord in his tracks like a naked Scottish woman walking down main street.
Ever wonder why our men wear kilts? The better to moon you with.
Our culture doesn't sexualize nudity the way you Americans do. It's why Gypsy women can run around half naked or completely naked and still be virgins when they get married, while men can can flip up their skirts and scratch their balls and no one bats an eye.
Americans call us crude, but what we are is we are not perverted sexual deviants like you.
If you don't like the way we talk, you won't like the way we dress or the way we act.
Here have some Scottish Moonbeams... help you get your head in the right place.
This is Old Orchard Beach, the town that invented the nudy-shirt... home of honky tonks, topless bars, lobstermen who shoot other lobster men with machine guns, heroine capital of New England, grower of more opium then any other town in the country, and a tavern next door to the grade school. We're a family friendly town, remember?
This town was founded by and predominately inhabited by Scottish Gypsies. You don't like our version of family friendly, you can suck balls, you fucking jackass prick of a dick. No one's forcing you to be here.
We Are Now The Largest &
Most Visited Website
of Old Orchard Beach, Maine!
{{{{Hugs}}} and a great big thank you to all my wonderful fans!
As of March 2017 EelKat.com is now getting 44,000 views per month!
We've come a long way from the 300 views a month I was getting 10 years ago when the Amphibious Aliens article was first published.
We are also now the #1 web site on Google for almost every search term containing the words "Old Orchard Beach", receiving more then 7,000 hits per month just on that one search term!
With 6,000+ pages and 44,000 views per month, we are now both the largest and most trafficked website headquartered out of Old Orchard Beach, Maine. Yay!
These amazing results are all thanks to two articles: Amphibious Aliens, which now ranks as my most read article ever, and Meet The GoldenEagle: The World's Most Haunted Car, which is the most visited page on my website. Thank you to all my wonderful readers for making this possible. Without all you wonderful people this website wouldn't even be possible.
{{{Hugs}}} for you all, and thank you once again for taking the time to stop by!
~EK
Here, have a celebratory rainbow pooping cat in space, CosPlaying a strawberry poptart...
If you play iSpy long enough with my car you can find Nyan Cat in the beadwork...
New For May 2017 - 200+ New Products Have Been Added To
The World's Most Haunted Car Merchandise Collection...
See More...
Monster Truck No Hurry as Transgender Awareness Tour Bus - Inside
Monster Truck No Hurry as Transgender Awareness Tour Bus - OutsideWe Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, are Scottish & this site therefore uses our Native Scottish English.
Spellings like "traveller" or "neighbour" or "colour", pronoun differences "me" for "my" or "you" for "your" might look unfamiliar to you, but they are in fact correct in our language. Please refrain from letting your cultural ignorance show in my inbox.
They Put A Bomb In My House
& And A KKK Cross In My Garden
(October 18, 2006)
They Cut Up My Cats:
(Kidnapped April 10, 2015; Returned Cut Up Mother's Day May 2015)
They Cut Up My Car:
(May 10, 2010)
They Tried To Kill Me:
(November 14, 2013; paralyzed 5 months;
damaged hip, pelvis, knee, spine,
as well as surrounding muscles, and nerves)
(Again, July 26, 2016 - rupturing 3 discs in my spine,
re-damaging hip; doing nerve damage to spinal column and leg)
Have Information?
Call FBI Agent
Andy Drewer
@ (207) 774-9322
Three things can not be hid:
The Sun,
The Moon,
& The Truth
Town Councilor Who Signed $25,000 property lien Blackmail threat, against property of people who cut car in half on his orders to do so, was Killed in murder suicide on January 26, 2017; exactly 7 years from the day he signed order to have car removed from town, sending locals into warpath, saying the "demon" killed him in a "7 year curse"Why I don't believe in demons, aliens, ufos, ghosts, haunted cars, etc.
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A list of damages done by the 14 police officers of 3 departments, who attacked my motorhome on April, 10, 2015, who took my cats at gun point, WITHOUT A WARRANT, while claiming they were looking for cannibals.The 175' long, 30' wide, 12' tall pile of garbage, city dump trucks and city garbage truck (7 trucks total) dumped on my land; July 13, 2013
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They Put A Bomb In My House
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They Cut Up My Cats:
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Are you here, to find out about
the big pink sign in my driveway?
Here's what happened...
Hello, I am one of your neighbours. I live at 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine, where I have lived since 1975. If you don't know me, you probably know my car, The Autism Awareness Car, The Dazzling Razzberry. It has 2.5millions glued to it. Many of you know my dad, Old Orchard Beach fireman, Kenneth Ricker Allen, or his mother, founder of the Lady's Auxiliary, Helen Ricker-Allen, or her father George Ricker, founder of The Old Orchard Beach Fire Department, or his mother's family: The Googins, first settlers & founders of the Town of Old Orchard Beach.
We non-white and LGBTQA+ residents of Old Orchard Beach, need your help.
The Ku Klux Klan has invaded our town, every winter, since 2001, when the summer tourists leave, they bring out their guns and terrorize the non-white and LGBTQA+ residents of this town of Old Orchard Beach. Since 2013 they have terrorized 140 year round resident families, slaughtered 500 pets, bombed multiple houses, and now 4 people are dead.
Please, we non-white and LGBTQA+ year round/winter residents of Old Orchard Beach need your help. Before more people die. The non-white and LGBTQA+ residents of this town of Old Orchard Beach are making a stand against the Ku Klux Klan. We are taking our lives back. Please join us in showing your support for the LGBTQA+ community of our town, by hanging a rainbow flag on your business this year.
If you are wondering, why I am the one contacting you, let me tell you what the Ku Klux Klan did to me. Keeping in mind, that I am only 1 of the more then 140 people in this town of Old Orchard Beach, that these things have been happening to.
I'm a woman who has had 7 miscarriages, and wears what locals call "elaborate clothes" (I wear the traditional clothes of my people - Persian Gypsies, who lived in Scotland for centuries before coming to America.) Because I have no children, the residents of Old Orchard Beach, beat me up, calling me a transsexual, claiming only a gay man would dress like I do, claiming that the reason I have no children is because I'm not really female.
They left me paralyzed and crippled. They crushed my hip, my pelvis, my knee, and my spine, and took away, what little chance I had to carry a pregnancy to full term.
A Gypsy woman and a Mormon, two cultures, where nothing is more important than family and children.
I'm crippled for the rest of my life. I was paralyzed for 5 months. Spent 18 months relearning to walk. I can barely walk now, 4 years later. It's why I'm now on a cane. Any hope I had of having children is gone now.
That's the reality, of the gay hatred of this town.
They hate gay men so much, here in Old Orchard Beach, that they are willing to beat up a childless woman, in ill health, accusing her of being a transvestite, saying that because of her clothes and her childlessness, she MUST be a man, pretending to be a woman.
Because these evil people took away my ability to have children, I had cats; but they took my cats, and cut off their heads, and nailed them to my door.
I used to have a Shetland Pony. 28 years. They beat her head in with a rock.
I used to have pet bantam roosters. One morning I woke up, to find them, 75 of them, their heads cut off, nooses tied round their headless necks, and hanging in my rose bushes.
They blew up my house with a bomb, and left a Ku Klux Klan cross behind.
Someone with access to a garbage disposal truck, drove 7 garbage trucks into my farm, dumped garbage in my yard. The pile of garbage was 175' long, 30' wide, and 12' tall.
Then someone with access to a sewage truck, pumped my motorhome full of hundreds of gallons of feces, that was three feet deep.
Not one of my neighbours helped me, through any of this. Not one. Because they were the gay haters who did it. I've lived here for 42 years. Most of my neighbours, their yards were forest 20 years ago. I remember when our town celebrated 1,000 residents. 83% of you didn't even live here 10 years ago.
I have agoraphobia. Before the bomb blew up my house, I hadn't set foot off my land in 31 years. I keep to myself and I've never bothered anyone. I don't know why in July 2001, they suddenly stormed into my yard with paintball guns and started shooting at me.
Since July 2001, there have been more then 200 acts of violence, vandalism, hate crimes, death threats, shootings, bombs, terrorism, murdering and abuse of my pets. And I don't know why. Why are these people doing these things? I don't know who they are or why these strangers come trespassing into my land to kill, steal, and destroy everything I own.
I used to have tens of thousands of flowers. Hundreds of bird feeders, dozens of garden gnomes, and two hundred pink flamingos. Rose bushes used to line my yard from the road all the way to swamp - 200 feet of roses - gone! Thieves have stolen every last one. They come up here with shovels and dig up my plants. Steal my garden ornaments. Take my bird feeders. Why?
They buried my vegetable garden with garbage. Bagged garbage. They backed city garbage trucks into my gardens and dumped them on my food crops, like this was the city dump! 3,700 wood pallets. Dozens of appliances. Hundreds of tires.
WHY?
Town Councilor Who Signed $25,000 property lien Blackmail threat, against property of people who cut car in half on his orders to do so, was Killed in murder suicide on January 26, 2017; exactly 7 years from the day he signed order to have car removed from town, sending locals into warpath, saying the "demon" killed him in a "7 year curse"Why I don't believe in demons, aliens, ufos, ghosts, haunted cars, etc.
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A list of damages done by the 14 police officers of 3 departments, who attacked my motorhome on April, 10, 2015, who took my cats at gun point, WITHOUT A WARRANT, while claiming they were looking for cannibals.The 175' long, 30' wide, 12' tall pile of garbage, city dump trucks and city garbage truck (7 trucks total) dumped on my land; July 13, 2013
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What is wrong with you people?
Why do these people hate me?
Who are they and why are they doing this? I do not understand why they torment me.
I bother no one. Why do they bother me?
And why... why when the locals of this town, see what these cruel, hateful people have, why does not one of them, do anything to help me? Not one. Not one person, has ever done anything to help me. Even when I was crippled, and living under an 8x6 tarp, for 11 years, through blizzards and hurricanes, with no protection from rain or cold or snow, because a bomb blew up my house.
Good decent people don't do things like this.
Good decent people don't stand back and watch things like this happen and do nothing to stop it!
What is wrong with the people in this town?
Do you none of you have any common moral decency at all?
What is wrong with the cruel, cold, heartless people of this town?
How did you get like this?
I remember when every person in this town helped every body else.
We used to be a community. What happened to that?
Are there no decent people left in this town?
When I wrote a book, listing what they did. The Town Hall, a government organization, got a court order, to force the book out of publication.
The very same court order, that on January 4, 2016, declared LGBTQ residents were not allowed to go home. Forced out of their own homes, in a court order that BANNED gay residents from living in Old Orchard Beach.
The court order is public record. Go look it up and read it for yourself.
People who owned their homes outright - not renters, not apartments - home owners - were not allowed to set foot in their own homes. Not allowed to get their clothes. Not allowed to get their pets. Not allowed to get their phones and computers - from January 4, 2016 to October 18, 2016, when the town of Old Orchard Beach had declared itself "family friendly" by virtue of not allowing LGBTQ citizens to live in the town.
Three court houses later, on October 18, 2016, the 10th anniversary of the bomb that blew up my house, Superior court over tuned Old Orchard Beach's civil rights violating "Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach" court order.
It was the business owners, the year round residents, of Old Orchard Beach, who did these things. Motel owners, who proudly boasted, they didn't allow gays in their motels, developers, and waste removal business owners, who did these things, while they were beating up a straight woman, they accused of being a transsexual.
What they are doing is wrong. And you know it is wrong.
No good, moral, descent person, does things like this to another human being.
April 2017, a Ku Klux Klan supporter, built a new website, one they dubbed "Flamboyant Nipples". It's about Old Orchard Beach. It glorifies, encourages, and promotes terrorist hate crimes against gay men, specifically, gay men in Old Orchard Beach. They have made a bold open threat on the lives of the LGBTQ residents of Old Orchard Beach.
The Flamboyant Nipples website, took these events, these hate crimes, done to me, my family, and other residents of this town, by terrorists, and turned it into satire. Among other things, they specifically, made fun of my cats, having their heads nailed to my door and the bomb that blew up my house, and bragged that they did it.
The author of Flamboyant Nipples, thinks beating up non-white women is funny.
The author of Flamboyant Nipples, thinks beating up gay men, and dragging them naked through the streets, from the back bumper of a car, is funny.
The author of Flamboyant Nipples, thinks cutting cat heads off and nailing them to doors is funny.
I had no idea the gay hatred was so bad, until the the gay haters, attacked me: a straight woman, they falsely accused of being a transsexual man.
I have already reported the website to the FBI and the Old Orchard Beach Police Department, as well as to the administrators of the forums where they are posting their advertisements for the site, trying to get members to join in their terrorist attacks on our town.
Tom Addams, the webmaster of the Flamboyant Nipples website is ACTIVELY contacting forum members trying to get them to join him in his attacks on our town.
I know, because members of The Warrior's Forum have contacting me asking if I knew Tom Addams was contacting them. It was my friends from the Warriors Forum who alerted me to the existence of the Flamboyant Nipples website and it's campaign against the gay men of our town.
Go to the Warrior's Forum... Tom Addams is asking members to change their signatures to include the word "penis" to show their support of the Ku Klux Klan's attacks on Old Orchard Beach.
Look at the signatures on the forum... a forum with 3 million members ... dozens of them have changed their forum signatures to say simply "penis" as Tom Addams asked them to do.
Tom Addams has dozens of Warrior's Forum members pledging allegiance to the anti-gay white power of the Ku Klux Klan, vowing to come to our town this summer to kill gay men.
The Flamboyant Nipples website is a VERY SERIOUS threat as he is using it to incite gay-haters to action. This web master is TRYING to get people across the country to come to our town and MURDER our LGBTQA+ community.
You people think Tom Addams and his "penis" crew on the Warrior's Forum are just joking? A frigging bomb blew up my house. That doesn't sound like they are joking to me.
My cats had their heads cut off and nailed to my door. That doesn't sound like they are joking to me.
The FBI doesn't think they're joking either. That's why they are here in Old Orchard Beach, right now, trying to find out who the hell these sick bastards are before they carry out their death threats and start killing off the gay men of Old Orchard Beach.
This is an ACTIVE DEATH THREAT being made against Old Orchard Beach's LGBTQA+ community.
How many more must die?
Are you gonna wait until it is YOUR son tied to the back of that car?
Are you gonna wait until it is YOUR cats have their heads nailed to YOUR door?
Are you gonna wait until it is YOUR house they blow up with a bomb?
The Ku Klux Klan is heightening their attacks on our community and they NEED to be stopped before MORE people die.
Somebody out there must know who the terrorist is that is running that site that is threatening our town. Please, if you know who has built the Flamboyant Nipples website, call the FBI agent in charge of the case IMMEDIATELY... don't give these terrorists a chance to kill someone else!
Agent Andy Drewer
of the Portland FBI
@ 207-774-9322
The business owners of Old Orchard Beach, are banding together this year against the white power gay hatred of the Ku Klux Klan.
To show their support of the year round gay residents and the gay summer tourists LGBTQ friendly businesses are putting rainbow flags on their businesses.
Together we can stop bullying in Old Orchard Beach, but it takes every one of us to stand in unison and say enough is enough. The bullies running this town are so violent and use such horrific measures that our town manager Larry Mead has become their puppet. A whimpering worm, with no moral decency to stand up to them, and too many hands reaching out for the bags of money they offer him to look the other way. Bribing a town official to turn a blind eye to terrorism is a bully using the power of money to hold an entire town hostage, while his family terrorizes the town.
Are 500 dead cats and dogs from 140 families, not enough to make you say enough is enough? How many animals will these bully monsters torture to death before they do what all animal abusers do and become serial killers. Oh wait... they've already done that! Four people are already dead.
Will you continue to stand by and turn a blind eye to the truth... how long do you really think it'll be before these terrorist bullies come after YOUR family.
Think you're safe by not being gay, by not having affiliation with the LGBTQA+ community? I'm not gay either. But I have Autism and own the Autism Awareness Car and they say my car is gay, because it has marbles and teddy bears glued to it.
They say I'm gay because I wear pink dresses. They are seeing gay people and gay cars where there are none.
How long do you think it'll be before they start falsely accusing YOU of being gay too?
Do you think they'll listen to your pleas for mercy while they are beating you with a crow bar? Do you think they'll even care, that you're not gay, when they shatter your bones and leave you for dead?
They didn't care when they did it to me, why they'd care when they come after you? And they will.
We only have 3,000 year round residents of this town... in 2007 we had 12,000. Find them. Talk to them. I have been. And they're all saying the same thing, that they left Old Orchard Beach because they were "tired of being bullied by Jim Thomas's men". 9,000 people. There's only 3,000 of us left.
A community of 12,000 decimated by the extreme bullying terrorist activities of gay hating hate mongers.
We business owners of Old Orchard Beach are taking a stand against the Ku Klux Klan.
To help the FBI identify who the Ku Klux Klan business owners are, ALL are hanging rainbow flags. Every business. No matter how big or how small.
Don't spend your money in ANY business, motel, shop, etc, in this town, unless you see a rainbow flag on the front the business.
There is no neutrality here.
You either care about your neighbours, or you don't.
The businesses of Old Orchard Beach are either supporters of the Ku Klux Klan or they are not.
EVERY business who refuses to hang a rainbow flag this summer, will be seen by the non-white and LGBTQA+ residents of this this town, as showing their open support of the Ku Klux Klan.
When you spend money at a business in Old Orchard Beach, who's not hanging a rainbow flag, you're funding a terrorist organization.
Say no to the Ku Klux Klan.
Make this town family friendly for ALL families.
Not just white families.
Not just straight families.
This town is NOT family friendly, until ALL families are welcomed here.
Say NO to the hate crimes.
Say NO to the bullies.
Say NO to death threats.
Say NO to the violence.
Say NO to the terrorists.
Say no to murder.
Say YES to peace.
Say YES to love.
Say YES to making this town a SAFE place for EVERY family to live.
If there's no rainbow flag on the building, stay somewhere else, buy somewhere else, use someone else's services.
Don't let your hard earned money support the terrorist hate crimes of the Ku Klux Klan.
SAY NO TO MURDER
IN OLD ORCHARD BEACH!
The FBI is here in town right now, investigating these domestic terrorists of Old Orchard Beach, trying to find out, who is doing these things.
If you have any information about these crimes or any of the more the 500 other domestic terrorist hate crimes, that have been done to more then 140 non-white and/or LGBTQ families in Old Orchard Beach, call the FBI agent in charge of this case:
Agent Andy Drewer
of the Portland FBI
@ 207-774-9322
“Don’t turn your face away.
Once you’ve seen,
you can no longer act like you don’t know.
Open your eyes to the truth.
It’s all around you.
Don’t deny what the eyes to your soul
have revealed to you.
Now that you know,
you cannot feign ignorance.
Now that you’re aware of the problem,
you cannot pretend you don’t care.
To be concerned is to be human.
To act is to care.”
― Vashti Quiroz-Vega
Full Details
About This Situation
Can Be Found HERE
“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse, and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.” ― Desmond Tutu
I challenge the motels, hotels, and businesses of Old Orchard Beach, to start putting up rainbow flags...
EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM....
EVERY business.... no matter how small, no matter how far off a main road onto a side street you are...
Put up a rainbow flag on your business sign. Let the world know you support gay rights and welcome the gay community in Old Orchard Beach.
Let's make this town family friendly for ALL families!
These gay haters rely on the tourist income to survive: BOYCOTT every business in this town that REFUSES to hang a rainbow flag on their business signs. DO NOT give your hard earned money to the gay hating business owners of Old Orchard Beach!
SAY NO TO THE HATE CRIMES!
Make Old Orchard Beach
family friendly for EVERY family!
Tell the year round residents & the summer tourists,
YOUR business is not
one of the gay-haters.
Tell the year round residents & the summer tourists,
YOUR business is not run
by members of the Ku Klux Klan
These hate crimes need to stop.
NO ONE should be forced to live in terror!
The LGBTQA+ members of this community deserved to live here with open arms.
Their families are families too!
SAY NO THE THE GAY HATERS OF OLD ORCHARD BEACH!
They want to call this town family friendly...
well let's MAKE it family friendly then...
for ALL families!
Not just the white ones!
Not just the straight ones!
Not just the Christians!
Help End The Ku Klux Klan's
Reign of Terror
In Old Orchard Beach, Maine
Do You Know Who Killed My Cats?
Have Information?
Call FBI Agent Andy Drewer
@ (207) 774-9322
Do You Know Who Blew Up
My House
With a Bomb October 18, 2006?
Have Information?
Call FBI Agent Andy Drewer
@ (207) 774-9322
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Do You Know Who Drove This Backhoe
Over My House August 8, 2013?
Have Information?
Call FBI Agent Andy Drewer
@ (207) 774-9322
The Tarp - My "House"
Since The Bomb Blew Up My House
October 18, 2006
The garbage vandals dumped in my yard, the day they shreaded my tarp |
The house days after the bomb blew it up |
Do You Know You Is Doing These Shootings,
Beatings, Death Threats,
CAUGHT ON CAMERA
....
Have Information?
Call FBI Agent Andy Drewer
@ (207) 774-9322
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May 2017 Update:
The woman who attacked my car while she was screaming that a demon living in my car had killed her dog and that she had to kill the car to kill the demon that she claimed had killed her dog Toby, has been identified.
Since that date, doctors have diagnosed her as having Schizophrenia, among multiple other things. She is seriously mentally unstable.
Since 2013, she's been on medication and her violent outbursts and wild ravings about demons have become less frequent.
Due to her severe mental illness we have not pressed charges against her for the damages to the car.
However, we are seeking to press charges against the others involved in these, now 16 years of near daily terrorist acts. Including the more then $3million in medical bills from my dad's being put in a coma, the $20,000 in damages to my motorhome.
5 houses demolished in 12 years comes to $700,000 in damages.
Cost of items in the houses, is another $500,000.
The replacement of the trees, rosebushes, and 100,000 other plants dug and stolen.
The nearly $2million more for my own medical bills.
The deaths of more then 100 pets.
The 16 years of emotional trauma.
For a grand total of $458million in damages and restitution.
More information about what this gang of criminals did can be found HERE & HERE
and
HERE & HERE
and
HERE & HERE
and
HERE & HERE
and
Here & HERE
The FBI is seeking information regarding the criminals involved in these domestic terrorist hate crimes.
Brigham Young University Professor & LDS High Priest Richard Merlin Atwater is now dead.
His best friend LDS Saco Ward Bishop's Second Counselor Joel Bailey went to prison for hacking the Old Orchard Beach town hall bank account and embezzling $3million in tax dollars from the residents. The money remains missing. He is known to you around here as "The KBoards Hacker" and is the hacker who hijacked my websites and social network accounts in 2007, 2010, and 2014. It is suspected he gave the money to one of the many Saco Ward church members who works at the Old Orchard Beach town hall. Suspicion being directed mostly to the one Old Orchard Beach town hall secretary/Old Orchard Beach police department dispatcher who bought a $3million house on the Ross Rd, shortly after the money went missing, with no explanation as to where or how she gt the money..
His other friends LDS Saco Ward Bishop's First Counselor, Old Orchard Beach town manager Jim Thomas and his accomplice LDS Saco ward Bishop Dan Kenning were last seen in Connecticut, running from the FBI.
His brother, Heaven's Gate member, UFO cultist Mervin Bruce Atwater is now in state custody, in a mental health home, under 24 hour observation by the Department of Health and Human Services.
His brother Joey Atwater is wanted by the FBI for kidnapping, human trafficking, and house flipping,and hiding in Australia. He will get life in prison if he ever sets foot on American soil.
His brother Johnathan Atwater is also wanted by the FBI for murder and being a hitman for hire, he was last seen in Oregon, wanted for at least 14 murders in Utah, Arizona, Wyoming, and Colorado.
His brother David Atwater is wanted in Colorado, Wyoming, Arizona, and Utah, and is known out West as "The Scottish Traveller Crime Family of America". The FBI has his group listed as "The 3rd most wanted organized crime family", wanted for terrorism, arson, hoarding illegal weapons, child sex slave trafficking, child prostitution, founding a domestic terrorist group known as "The Loyalist White Knights of The Ku Klux Klan" and horrific levels of animal abuse.
Native to Nova Scotia Canada, most of the Scottish Travellers do not have American citizenship, are illegal aliens, have no social security cards, no birth certificates, and use fake ids, fake names, etc. They arrive in Old Orchard Beach almost every summer to run a credit card scam, stealing credit cards and check books from summer tourists. They use the last names: Atwater, Hall, Cyr, Dutrumble, Davidson, Johnson, and other various first name with the tag "son" added to the end names. Their real names are Atwater, Hall, and Cyr, but they rarely use them and change their names frequently, using fake names often. Their group is 400 members strong, moving across the country between Wyoming and Maine, in one mass hoard, with their women heavily armed with automatic rifles and machetes. Nearly all males use the first name David with a letter or number after. (David a, David b, David c, David, d, David e, etc.) In Colorado and Wyoming they are known for small town take overs, surrounding a town and taking full control of it. They attempted this in Old Orchard Beach in 2007 when one of their members Jim Thomas, became town manager, and nearly 2 dozen clansmen were given town hall, public works, and police department jobs. At least 1 member of their clan is known to still work in the town hall, double jobbed also working in the police department, as of May 2017.
Kendra Silvermander's identity remains unknown. It is believed she is a part of the Cyr clan, a branch of the Scottish Travelers.
The white hired/bald driver of the 4-door white truck remains unknown. The white hired/bald driver of the backhoe remains unknown. It is believed he is a part of the Cyr clan, a branch of the Scottish Travelers, who feuds with the Atwater clan.
The blond woman with the gold Volvo SUV remains unknown. It is believed she is a part of the Cyr clan, a branch of the Scottish Travelers, who feuds with the Atwater clan.
If you have any information about these criminals, or any member of the gang from the Saco Ward Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer@ (207) 774-9322
They Put A Bomb In My House
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They Cut Up My Cats:
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Three things can not be hid:
The Sun,
The Moon,
& The Truth
Stand Up For Justice
Don't Let These People Do This To Another Person
If life gives you lemons,
then you grab life by the balls and say you're taking them too.
Why make lemonade when you can make testicle stew?
I don't take shit from no one,I stand up to bullies like you.
I don't like bullies, bullying me, cyberbullies, offline bullies, any bullies.
Say NO to the bullies of the world.~EelKat
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The Gypsies Have Put A 7 Year Curse
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“Don’t turn your face away. Once you’ve seen, you can no longer act like you don’t know. Open your eyes to the truth. It’s all around you. Don’t deny what the eyes to your soul have revealed to you. Now that you know, you cannot feign ignorance. Now that you’re aware of the problem, you cannot pretend you don’t care. To be concerned is to be human. To act is to care.”
― Vashti Quiroz-Vega
Have Information?
Call FBI Agent Andy Drewer
@ (207) 774-9322
What Happened?
A group of superstitious residents of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, believe a demonic amphibious alien lives in my car, so they cut my car in half, blew up my house with a bomb, and cut my cats heads off.
Full details about the psychotic cat murdering, house bombing, gay hating, white power, car vandalizing, "demon hunters" of Old Orchard Beach can be found here:
The Amphibious Aliens Squidoo Lens Returns
With 10th Anniversary Update
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3 of the 15 Pidgie Fund Cats Have Been Murdered
2 Have Been Found & Returned
These 10 Are Still Missing
If You Know Where They are
Please Bring Them Home
If You Know Who Is
Holding Them Hostage
Please Call FBI Agent
Andy Drewer
@ (207) 774-9322
3 of the 15 Pidgie Fund Cats Have Been Murdered
2 Have Been Found & Returned
These 10 Are Still Missing
If You Know Where They are
Please Bring Them Home
If You Know Who Is
Holding Them Hostage
Please Call FBI Agent
Andy Drewer
@ (207) 774-9322
Don't forget to read
It tells you what happened to the cats.
(Now Free To Read Online)
Was One of The 27 Books
Banned By The United States Government
On January 4, 2016
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Forced to be unpublished
and removed from books stores
by a court order issued by
The Town Hall of The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine,
A United States of America Government Orginization
Got a Local Business That Needs Targeted Traffic?
Originally the article about local business traffic was displayed here on the home page, but I kept adding more and more info on how I use keywords to get local traffic and the "Pigeon Article" got too long for the homepage and is now on it's own page HERE.
It's not gone, it's just moved to a separate page. I'll leave this section here for a few more days, until I find something else to replace it with.
Pigeon is the Google bot that sends local traffic to small business websites.
Most internet marketers build the SEO of their website with Google's Panda or Penguin in mind.
The majority of internet marketers will tell you not to even bother worrying about Pigeon.
They say, target the world, buy backlinks, buy lists, buy ads, buy fake traffic... and in the end they get clicks per thousand while I'm getting clicks per hundred.
However, Google designed Pigeon to seek out LOCAL LISTING websites, and instead of putting it in world-wide search results, puts it in search results made by people from the same zip code as the website's location.
I'm not targeting every person on the planet. I'm targeting ONLY people interested in The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
Thus I focus my SEO on targeting Google Pigeon.
To get local, local, local, you NEED pigeon, pigeon, pigeon. There's no way around it. Instead of fearing the Google Bots I learn to work with them.
My web site is located at 04064-1520 (146 Portland Ave) and more then 80% of my traffic comes from 04064, the majority of it from Portland Ave and Cascade Rd, here in The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
Did you know that 14% of the population of Old Orchard Beach, reads at least one page of my site EVERY DAY.
You want to know what else I have... if you're an internet marketer, get ready to have a heart attack with this next number...
My average page time is 0:7:43.
Average internet marketer reports 0:0:30 as GOOD page time. 30 seconds of time spent reading your page is considered average. My viewers actually stay long enough to read what I wrote. And as I'm actually writing stuff with the goal of it BEING READ rather then writing 400 word meaningless nothing just to have a place to post ads, that long page time tells Google my site has REAL content that keeps readers reading and coming back for more.
That's means my viewers stay on EACH page of my site for an average of 7 minutes and 43 seconds. And that's site wide total.
Amphibious Aliens averages 0:12:57 (12 minutes and 57 seconds)
The World's Most Haunted Car averages 0:20:12 (20 minutes and 12 seconds)
I have 84% REPEAT TRAFFIC.
The SAME ispns return to those same two pages and average of 3 times a day, for a period of 7 to 12 days. Meaning they return multiple times to read the ENTIRE article.
Some weeks those 2 pages each average 02:00:00 view time - meaning the viewers stays for 2 full hours to read the entire article in one sitting.
New to the site is Flamboyant Nipples, only a few days old and all ready that one page is averaging 198 views a day with a view time of 15+ minutes per visit, with repeat visits from the same readers, returning multiple times over a period of several days to read the entire page.
56% of that repeat traffic is from readers who live less then 7 miles of Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach.
So while you may be content to have an average 30 seconds of page view time, I'm getting an average of 7 minutes across the board, with up to 2 hours on a page by page stat.
While you may be content with averaging 10 clicks per 1,000 (thousand) views, I'm getting 46 clicks per 100 (hundred).
While you may be content with 3% repeat traffic, I'm getting 84%.
And while you may be content with targeting every one and reaching no one, I'm targeting only a specific demographic and seeing actual results.
Do you have any idea how many small businesses on the planet would kill to get the kind of local traffic percentages I'm getting?
I'm a member of a "local business SEO training program" that sends out 3 new courses a week, plus gives me access to all of the courses they've made since 2003. It costs $30 a month, but it's hell worth it.
When Panda hit in 2012 I was already two steps ahead.
When Hummingbird went slashing through, it didn't touch me because I already knew it was coming and had made changes to my site before it hit.
When Google's Penguin army stampeded across the internet I side swiped them by knowing what they were looking for a cutting it all out of my site before the Penguin army made their death march across the internet.
When Google unleashed Pigeon I learned to sail hand in hand with the flock of death, rise above their death flap instead being crushed by it.
I follow Google's every move obsessively, know every algorithm change, learn the patterns of every bot and learn to work with them not against them.
It's called white hat SEO. It means I obey Google rules to the letter and use no black hat SEO methods. Google likes that.
THAT's why I can do what I do: live full time off my income with only a fraction of the traffic the internet marketing "gurus" claim you MUST have to succeed.
The Quaraun Series
GENRE: Dark Bizzaro Fantasy/Pink Humor/Crude Adult Comedy
SUB-GENRES: Monster Porn; Bizarre CBT Oiroke Yaoi; Unicorn Porn; Seme/Uke Barra;
Japanese Book Rating: M18+ (For strong adult situations, drug use, & suicide)
Articles on this site focus mostly on the hows & whys of the creation process of The Quaraun series, and it's ban by the American government for being "Too Gay For The Family Friendly Town of Old Orchard Beach". Yes, that does mean, that like the books, this site features sex crazed gay unicorns, bi-sexual transvestite Elves, suicidal Faeries, opium addicted wizards, rape fantasy Monster Porn, gay black men fighting back against Ku Klux Klan hate mongers, and cock & ball torture fetishes; hide your weak little white power, gay-hating Christian balls and pass at your own risk.
Are you here to meet Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies?
Or to see the real "Christine" The World's Most Haunted Car?
Latest Updates:
UPDATE: April 26, 2017
Gay Haters Attack AGAIN!
This Time with
FLAMBOYANT NIPPLES!
Scenes from the novels, mentioned in the above video, can be read free online.
The scene she was offended by in Night of the Screaming Unicorn can be read HERE.
The scene containing the page of Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fucks, can be read HERE.
If you don't know what the genres Yaoi or Pink Humor are, you can find out HERE.
