EelKat Wendy C Allen - Dark Fantasy Author


UPDATE March 17, 2021: Another death. Waiting for a coffin to be delivered. Funeral the 21st. Unlikely to be streaming for a few weeks.


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Update: March 27, 2021: It's not even been a week since the funeral, and now there is another death and another funeral.



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UPDATE April 5, 2021: There are still no streams, as, we've now a another (a 3rd) funeral to prepare for.


And that is now 3 deaths in our family, in the past 2 weeks.


This 3rd death hits hard, because it was Pippi.


Our family has now had 13 deaths since March 2020.








April 10, 2015, 12 children were kidnapped.

May 15, 2015, the heads of 10 of them were nailed to my door.

August 24, 2020, one was found still alive. he was just 4 years old when she was kidnapped, but she remembered us, even though 5 years had passed.

August 25, 2020, Pippi came home, but her condition was not well. She had been tortured the entirety of the 5 years she had been held hostage. She was missing limbs and covered with scars, had broken bones many years not set, and suffered serious damage to many of her internal organs. That she was alive at all, in her condition, was a miracle. Doctors had little hope of her survival and she was sent home with Hospice care.

Pippi had cancer in her eye and needed surgery for it, which she was scheduled to have, shortly before she was kidnapped.

In the years they had her, not only did they torture her, but her cancer went untreated and spread to her brain.

By the time she was returned to us, her cancer had reached an inoperable state, so we knew she did not have much time left.

Had her cancer been treated, back when she was a toddler, she probably would have reach adulthood.

She died only 8 months after her return.

Another child, to cry out from the grave, for Etiole's vengeance upon her murderers. Another victim of evil men, who will stoop to no ends, to bury the crimes they committed 50 years ago.  Drug lords. Opium growers. Heroine dealers. Selling little girls 4 to 8 years old for sex to priests. They only care about money.

All hail the mighty tourist ass. Millions come to Old Orchard Beach every year, for one thing and one thing only: heroine. They sell their drugs to the tourists under the pier and off the balconies of that giant motel. Than drag little girls to the bedrooms of the condominiums on Smithwheel Road, behind the school. And any child who dares open their mouth and beg for help, gets tossed in the GooseFare Brooke Ravine.

Bastard drug lords. They've been doing this for 50 years, and the town hall and the police department, turn a blind eye to it, because they get paid $6million a year to not report it to the newspapers, when the body of another child washes down the ravine, into the gulley to be spit out in the ocean. No fewer than 5 bodies are found every summer, but how often does it get in the news?

The corruption of this fucking town needs to end.

Yet another dead at the hands of these criminals who run our town.

How long will the residents continue to turn a blind eye to what is happening in our town.

How many more children will you let them kill, before you stand up to them?

Another child is dead and no one in this town cares. So long as they get their money from the tourists. The blood of another murdered child screams from the graves, begging for justice. Tick tock, tick tock, so begins, yet another of Etiole's 7 year clocks.

This is why there were no/to few streams from May 2020 until now.

May 2020, after 4 years of not hearing from them at all, the FBI returned with a lead, which led to Pip's discovery a few weeks later in August.

Because of the nature of the situation, I could not talk about it, to tell you why streams had stopped.

The kidnappers, were enraged that we had recovered Pip, and that is when the attacks started up again on my home and family September 2020.

Pip's condition continued to grow worse, and she died April 5, 2021.

She was only 10 years old.

This is what it means, to not be white in America.

White men, won't even give a child the chance to grow up.

This is what white people do, to none white families like mine.

We are Gypsies with Jewish blood, for that alone we are hunted like animals.

What the men of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, did to my family, will never be forgotten or forgiven.




#If you have any information on the kidnappers or the murders...


#FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the of the April 10, 2015 kidnapping of my 12 children by 14 Ku Klux Klan men who invaded our home and the subsequent May 15, 2015 murder of 10 of the 12 whom had their heads nailed to my front door. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 


Have you forgot the extent of the damage these people did, all because, they wanted to dig up my land and removed bodies buried there, before my house builders found that barrel of bones?

Have you forgotten that 7 town hall workers, 5 public works men, a blond woman, her bald son, and her red haired sister Kendra, and 14 police officers, all lead by a man they referred to as "Mark who needs no last name" were the ones 

I name every one of them, except for the ring leaders: blond woman, her bald son, her sister Kendra, and her husband "Mark who needs no last name". I don't know who those 4 are. I'd never seen any of them, other than the Kendra woman before, and I only knew her fro her attacks beating me up at Panera in 2009, 2010, and 2013.

I can name every one of the others, because all I have to do is go to the Old Orchard Beach town hall and police department website, and their are their faces.

With the exception of blond woman, her bald son, her sister Kendra, and her husband "Mark who needs no last name", every one else involved was government official who works for the state of Maine vis the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall, the Old Orchard Beach Police Department, or the Old Orchard Beach Public Works.

And what exactly did they do?

August 8, 2013 they drove a backhoe over my house. That same backhoe drove over my previous house on the same land April 2007. That same backhoe drove over my poultry barn and horse stables July 2001. July 2001 was the first attack.

March 2015 was the the massive attack, with an entire fleet of trucks, and drove over the Church of the Holy Rhinstone, a church that stood on my land, my garage which is why I no longer have a garage to put my car in, my 2 sheds both of which had my tractors and other garden/crop machinery in them at the time. And of course the razing of the land, the cutting down of the apple orchard - the VERY apple orchard planted in 1530 that this town was named after... he actual "old orchard" of Old Orchard Beach... the very original trees - huge massive apple trees over 400 years old. The grape vineyards, the cherry trees, the pears trees. 

April 10, 2015, they returned, 4 police officer held me a gun point, while 10 other police officers held my children down with long poles with metal wire strangle loops on the end, and beat their faces in with cinder block bricks, knocking out every one of their teeth, breaking their jaws... POLICE OFFICERS DID THAT... while men they referred to as "Mark who needs no last name" and "Dan" stood there and told the police officers what to do, how to beat them, while "Mark who needs no last name" boldly bragged that he paid the Old Orchard Beach police $6million dollars to do this.

May 15, 2015... the heads, hands, feet, and intestines of my children were nailed to my door. Later that same day police officer W. W. came to my home begging for forgiveness and claimed that men he referred to only as "Mark and Dan" were holding his beloved mother-in-law hostage and torturing her, and he helped in the April 10, 2015 attack, only to save her life and get her back. He claimed he had no prior knowledge of what was going to happen, claiming that he'd been told they were only going to "scare" us. He said he had not expected anyone to get hurt, he had not known my children would be tortured and kidnapped, he had not known they were going to be murdered. He said he was scared for his life and lives of his family. And he said: "They form a small army, our department doesn't have enough man power to stop them, and every one in this town is too scared to fight back. You don't know what's going on. And I think they mixed you up with someone else. They didn't know you were the owner of this land. They didn't know that was your motorhome. They thought someone else owned this place. It wasn't even your family they were after. You were the wrong target. You don't know who these people are. What they've done to our families. This is the actual Mafia. The real deal. I'm so sorry. This is the address they sent us to. But they had a different name as the owner. This wasn't supposed to happen. They were after someone else. I'm so sorry. I couldn't let my family died. And now yours is dead instead. This wasn't supposed to happen."

June 19, 2016... I did a very specific livestream. You see... A., D., B., and T. in the 1970s and 1980s, were in the habit of dragging big black trash bags into the forest, crossing my land to do it, and dumping those bags into the Goosefare Brook Ravine. In 1983, 3 snuck into Etiole's swamp and planted 3 acres of Marijuana. Someone found it and called the police, I don't know who... it was Maine's largest drug raid for decades. Many, many millions in plants where dug up and removed from Etiole's swamp. A few weeks later A, & D,s 10 year old daughter ran into my yard, touched my car on a dare from other children - the 1964 Dodge 330 former Old Orchard Beach police car, known by Stephen King fans as the REAL Christine, The World's Most Haunted Car... than jumped her bike, and sped down the road, as fast as she could, head on into a car coming the other way. She died instantly, he brain shattered all over the end of my driveway, and her mother A responded by the Battle of 458 - the biggest mass shooting ever in Maine history, that ended up with 3 Gypsy clans and 2 police departments, in a shoot out between 70+ adults all armed with guns. One of my cousins, an 8 year old boy, standing 3 feet from me, had his eye shot out by one of the bullets. While A ran around the street screaming: "FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shot another child. 

"FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shoot another child. 

"FOUR! FIVE! EIGHT!" than shoot another child. 

THOSE are the 31 children, whose bones were sawed up and tossed into the GooseFare Brook Ravine... yes, that DOES mean, police officers KNEW those children were there and covered it up.  And I witnessed that entire event.

And THAT is WHY... when police officers murdered my family in 2015, I did a livestream, walking to the ravine, to show the world, where those bones were... because I'm sick and tired of the police corruption in this fucking town, and those sawed up bones of 31 children are PROOF of what this town government is like.... as are the heads of my children that were nailed to my door.

At the end of The Battle of 4-5-8... A. took 2 gas cans and poured them all over the big dome house, than set a match to it, and no one knew, why when she did her brother B., started running, jumped in his robin egg blue truck and backed down the driveway, hit Portland Ave doing 70 and didn't stop driving until the high speed chase caught him in CT... oh but we knew before he was out of sight, why he started running... the dome house went up like Hiroshima into a mushroom cloud that could be seen across the entire state... turns out there was a Meth lab in that house.

June 19, 2016... the livestream of the bones went viral, it's what made my YouTube channel suddenly explode overnight... and police officer W.W. upset, by the fact that, the livestream included the entire police call and response, and that response was to laugh and do nothing... fed up with the corruption in his department, he forwarded that livestream VOD to the FBI, and the FBI arrived in Old Orchard Beach, to dig up the Reclaim Blueberry Plains, and all hell broke lose in this town, as most of the police officers suddenly found themselves arrested. An entire new police force from out of state was brought in to replace the long time officers who had proven they could be trusted to uphold the law. Many town hall officials and public works employees also found themselves arrested by the FBI.

June 26, 2016... barely a week later... the blond woman and the red haired Kendra woman showed up at my workplace, Scarborough WalMart, and tried to kill me, yet again... these are the same 2 woman who attacked me with golf clubs at Southern Maine Community College November 14, 2013... they left dead in 2013, I was paralized for 5 months. It took me 18 months to relearn to walk. I was out of the wheel chair, and I was without a walker, I was without a cane. I had almost fully covered from their November 14, 2013 attack with golf clubs... June 26, 2016, this time they attacked with shopping carts, and I'm now crippled for the rest of my life. They shattered 3 vertebra this time and it can't be operated on. I had to relearn to walk a second time, and I'm not yet recovered now in 2021. In 2013 they drove away in the 4 door white pickup truck. In 2016 they drove away in a gold Volvo SUV station wagon.

That blond woman and her red haired Kendra sister, they are wanted by the FBI for attempted murder of me and they are also wanted in questioning for being suspected of also being the murderers of my children.

I don't know who these 2 women are.

The blond woman shows up my driveway frequently, screaming and yelling, sometime accompanied by a small child, about 5 years old, that she pulls behind her in a red radio flyer wagon. She looks to be about 60 or 70. She often wears a denim button down shirt and jeans. She's prone to yelling at passing cars, while pointing up my driveway, and saying: "There's EelKat, she tried to kill my husband."

I've never tried to kill anyone, so accusation is baffling at best.

She seems to think I know who she is, and has made the claim, that "I was that brat in school"... the red haired Kendra woman, sometimes with her, claims to be her sister, also appears to be 60 to 70 and also seems to think I know who she is, and frequently says: "You bullied me in school, but no more, I'm Kendra SilverMander it's my turn to shine."

They BOTH make the claim they went to school with me, and yet, I never went to school, a well documented fact... because I'm the child the FBI rescued what the news media called "Maine's House of Horrors". I was locked in a cage when I was 8 years old. I was let out on Sundays, to go to church, and not allowed to speak or make eye contact with anyone, and this was only done infrequently, whenever church goers asked what happened to that girl you had". I was 31 years old when the FBI arrived, because of Heaven's Gate having killed 39 people, and my uncle being one of the members and self proclaiming himself as the leader of Heaven's Gate after Applewhite's death. The FBI was investigating the murder of 39 people in California, and had no idea they'd find children in cages in Maine as a result.

So you see, when the blond woman and her Kendra sister, make the claim they went to school with me and I was the class bully who beat them up, this is easily proven false, because the time period when I should have been in school, I was locked in a cage, being tortured by my sadistic uncle Bruce.

Also, they are in their late 60s to mid 70s... making them older than my parents, so how could I have been in school with them, even if I had gone to school? At best I would have been starting pre-school the year they would have been graduating high school.

These things they say about school, only further agrees with what police officer W. W. said May 15, 2015, when he made the claim, they had gotten me mixed up with someone else.

July 2016, a month after the shopping cart attack... yet another Old Orchard Beach police officer arrived, this one accompanied by 2 Biddeford officers, who had been former OOB officers... these 3 officers, had a vastly eye opening story to tell me.

They had been called to Old Orchard Beach, to my farm, to arrest me, a call made to them, by a man named Mark, whom one of these officers, claimed was his brother in law. This Biddeford officer, said he requested to transfer ot of Old Orchard Beach department years ago, because his sister (whom he claimed he suspected, but could not prove was the blond woman whom had attacked me at WalMart) was quote "trying to control the town" he said "treats Old Orchard Beach like a dynasty, thinks she's a duchess, has severe mental disorders, and thought she could buy the police department". He went on to say, she got in with the real Mafia years ago and went to her head, and now she thinks she IS the Mafia and most of Old Orchard Beach's business owners, especially the motel owners are scared shitless of her, because they believe her claim to be Mafia. He went on to say, she's not Mafia, but she's good at convincing people she is and stated "I wouldn't murder beyond her. She'd do it just to prove she is Mafia." He said he transferred out of OOB department to Biddeford department because he was fed up with how easy it was for her to get every officer to do anything she asked. He said "the corruption in that department runs deep; don't cross her or any officer she controls; they WILL kill you and every around you. You don't know who her husband is. He doesn't just control that town, he controls half the state."

What he was telling me was bizarre on extremes, but even more bizarre was the live feed radio call, that he had me listen too, as it was happening, on my farm in Old Orchard, while I was at my dad's house in Biddeford.

He said: "The Old Orchard Department called me, asked me to come over here. Buddy Will wanted to prove you were not in Old Orchard and that Mark has you mixed up with someone else. That fucking bastard is crying wolf and trying to frame you, we can prove it right now. We are fucking fed up WolfBoy."

He turned on his radio, so I could hear. A what I heard... a man whose voice I do not recognize, yelling at a Officer W.W. and saying: 

"That is Wendy, arrest her now! That is EelKat. She tried to kill me."

While officer W.W. and another officer, told the man: "his isn't Wendy. We have officers with her right now. Who tried to kill you? Wendy? Or THIS woman right here?"

"This woman right here! This is EelKat I tell you! Arrest her! What do you think I pay you for! You aren't allow to defy me! I own this town! You are my slaves. I command you to arrest her!"

W.W.: "This isn't EelKat. This isn't Wendy. I've known her for years. And right now, she's on the other side of the state. With 3 officers, listening to you right now. You are NOT the law. We've had it with you. You don't own me. And you've mixed her up with someone else. You've been harassing the wrong damned person. You dare call us about Wendy ever again, and I will personally arrest you for false reports, than I'll tell them everything. You'll never see the outside a prison for the rest of your life when I get done with you. You fucking leave this woman alone. You destroyed her life, because you couldn't tell her apart from someone else."

I used to aqua jog, mountain climb, horseback riding, and I hiked 13 miles a day. And in the blink of an eye, that lifestyle was taken away, and every day was struggle, just to sit up and breath, with no hope of ever walking again. I defied doctors. It's been 8 years and I can move around the house by holding on to things and I now can walk again, at the moment only short distances outside with a cane, and the hope is to continue to improve. I still have a long road of recovery ahead. But I'm walking again, something that 8 years ago, doctors said would never happen. 

My farm was razed.

My family was murdered.

I was 5 months paralysed, and had to relearn to walk. It was 8 years ago and I'm not yet fully recovered due to 3 inoperable vertebrae and hip dysplasia. November 14, 2013, 10PM, at WalMart, while putting bags of groceries in the back seat of my car, I was attacked by 3 rapists armed with metal golf clubs, who left me parallelized, in a wheel chair, broken spine, broken hip, broken pelvis, broken knees, serve nerve damage to my left side limiting the use of my left hand, my bladder incontinent from nerve damage, they left me for dead, and I had doctors telling me I would never walk again.

There's more that has happened. A lot more. The thousands of gallons of sewage they pumped into my motorhome in 2015. The cats. the Ptarmagin cats. World famous groups of cats. You remember them. If so, you remember what these people did to those cats. Poisoned. All dead the same day. 12 cats. Dead to what the vet described as: "enough poison to kill a great dane". My horse, she had her head beat in with a rock. My bantam roosters... 70 pet roosters, hung by their necks in rope nooses in my rose bushes.

All because this man, this mystery Mark, whose last name seems to be known to the police but is still unknown to me and man whom I've never seen or met - he keeps his face covered whenever he shows up... mistook me for someone else... and police officers and town hall workers and public work employees.

Welcome to Old Orchard Beach... this is NOT the way life should be, you know it.

What these people did to me, should never have happened, and according to the police, it's been happening for 50+ years to hundreds of people, hundreds of families, in this town, and every one is too scare to talk about it or fight back to stop it. That NEEDS to change.

The corruption in our town, needs to stop... but it won't end, until every last person who is being harassed by these people stand up, put their foot down, and say enough is enough, we ain't gonna take this any more.

We the people of Old Orchard Beach need to take back our town.


NOTE: Chat is set to emote only on my Twitch channel and my personal contact information has been removed from my website and every place else, due to the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of false reports of "information", along with vile hateful memes about the murder of my family being sent to me by trolls who think mocking the murder of my family is funny.

FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the of the April 10, 2015 kidnapping of my 12 children by 14 Ku Klux Klan men who invaded our home and the subsequent May 15, 2015 murder of 10 of the 12 whom had their heads nailed to my front door. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322 



If you could recommend I watch one VOD that best represented your channel, which would it be?

This one....




The Princess Bride predicting Covid-19?

Avallac'h's a Good Tutor?
Of What? How to Better Bed Kings?


EXTREME SPOILER WARNING!

Please be aware that nearly every page on this website contains spoilers to something. I talk about a lot of fandoms, and go into great detail analyzing them when I do. If I am talking about The Witcher series, InuYasha, Disney Ducks, the Quaraun series, or any other fandom, you WILL encounter spoilers about it. 

On Writing Literary Fiction:
I'm not a fan of flowery descriptions, hidden messages, or metaphors
...and I can't write 'deep' or overly descriptive stuff

or

A Look At The Ernest Hemingway Style of Writing




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>>also another fact: i am a teenager. yes, yes i am aware of the stigma that surrounds being a teen writer and i know many of you will look and talk down to me because of my age (im used to it). but just know that i am aware that as a writer, i have much to learn about life and about the craft before publishing...anyways, i decided to include this bit of information about myself because i think it could affect your responses. will i become a 'deeper' writer when i experience more hardships in life?

Ah... I'm now reading the comments and see the shitty comment you are replying to. Ignore them.

I published my first novel as a pre-teen, then several more while I was a teen; if any one talks down to you or says you can't write/publish because of your age, tell them to fuck off and then go right back to your writing. Never let someone else's perception about age, affect your goal to write.

>>i can't write 'deep' or overly descriptive stuff

>>my writing is simple and light. none of my stories or novels hold any deeper messages or meanings. my writing is also straight to the point... I'm not a fan of flowery descriptions and metaphors

>>i find myself comparing my simple written stories to the complex and deep ones that my writer friends create. i know this is bad, but i cant help it. i feel inadequate next to them.

If you are aiming to publish, you might find it difficult to attract a publisher. For some reason deep meanings, hidden messages, flowery descriptions, and metaphors do seem to be what they look for. I don't write those things myself, so, I end up self-pubbing a lot of my work.

My books are 75% to 90% dialogue, with descriptions mostly limited to one or two sentences at the beginning of each chapter.

I use very simple language (I ran it through one of those reading level graders, and they come back as 5th grade vocabulary reading level).

I never use a thesaurus to look for "better" words. I let my characters talk in bad grammar, double negatives, fragments, and run-ons.

I also let my characters say things like "ain't" and "thems there".

I don't use dialogue tags (he said, she replied, etc). The start of the conversation says who each character is, then it's 20 or 30 pages of dialogue before you see another "said" tag.

But then I write genre fiction, High Fantasy specifically. OMG! Try publishing High Fantasy that is anything less the 80% flowery prose, let alone is 90% dialogue with no said tags. Good god, the notes that get scrawled on the rejection slips!

Most publishers describe my work as "too literary" for their tastes. They've also used the terms "avant garde" and "artsy-fartsy". All LOT have said "not mainestream enough" and "too experimental" and "too much dialogue" and "not enough description" and "reads like a stage play not a novel".

sigh

The problem?

I like reading very stripped down, bare bones stories. I have a very hard time finding that style published, so I write what I want to read. Unfortunately, the reason there's not a lot of it out there is because it's not what publishers want to publish. Well, you know what? I don't care what publishers want to publish, I care about trying to find books I actually want to read, and if that means I have to write the books myself, well so be it.

The most common complaint I get is "this reads like something Ernest Hemingway wrote", which on one hand could seem like a compliment, him being a famous author and all, but it's always followed by a rant on how "he was a terrible writer, why anyone would want to emulate his style is beyond me". 

Once it was followed by a rant that said "you men are all alike! all write anti-feminist crap idolizing Ernest Hemingway" 

... uhm...

... okay, except I'm a woman, not a man, and I've never read Hemingway so I have no clue what his work or style is even like...and how is my work anti-feminist again? What? I think that was an editor having a bad day and lashing out at the next author they ran across. To this day, I've no clue how that editor translated my book as either anti-feminist or idolizing Hemingway or why she thought an author whose first name is "Wendy-Christine" was a man.

(TIP: if any acquiring editors are reading this: don't scrawl shitty, outbursts of rage over your own bad day in the margins of rejection slips; it's not constructive criticism, it leaves the author scratching they head going "What the hell are they talking about?", and it's also very unprofessional.)

Well, one things for sure: my work definitely rubs editors the wrong way! LOL!

But you want to know what the #1 reason I get for rejections of my books:

  • "we can not accept books featuring transvestite characters."

Yep. That's it.

The Quaraun series has gotten tons of glowing "I love it! But we can't accept books featuring transvestite characters" rejections.

Editors are constantly beaming with excitement over:

  • "well crafted characters"
  • "engaging storyline"
  • "held my interest to the end"
  • "I couldn't put it down"

followed by:

  • "but he's wearing a dress"
  • "you gotta rewrite it so he's not a transvestite"
  • "no one wants to read about the every day life of a transexual; they only sell in Erotica"
  • "you can't have a trans character in any genre but Erotica"
  • "transvestites are too controversial"

Americans scream and beg and demand diverse books, but when faced with actual diversity they run away screaming they don't want it.

No. No, my main character is a transvestite and I will not rewrite him to be otherwise.

But then there is that pesky problem of writing a series that crosses genres and is Slice of Life Literary in a Fantasy setting, with Fantasy races and Fantasy themes. And remember too that I've NEVER submitted these books to a publisher of Fantasy, and have only ever submitted these books to publishers of Literary Fiction.

Interestingly, one editor asked once: "Do you even read Fantasy?"

Uhm, yeah, about that...

...nope.

I've never once read a Fantasy novel in my entire life. Though I have read the Lythande short story series (about a transgender wandering vagabond wizard) and I fell in love with it and my work was heavily influenced by it (easy to notice if you know the Lythande series, then realize my Quaraun series is ALSO about a transgender wandering vagabond wizard).

The Quaraun series fanfics the hell out of Lythande, literally taking every Lythande story and totally re-writing it, then running rampant with "What if...?"

I never set out to write Fantasy. I set out to write a continuation of Lythande, so I write my own works in the same haphazard, disjointed, bad grammar, lots of dialogue, slice of life, mish mash style the Lythande stories were written in.

Because I loved Marion Zimmer Bradley's, writing style in Lythande stories, so much I actually make it a writing habit to once a year, manually hand write, copy, word for word, the Lythande stories just so I can teach myself to write in this psychobilly off the wall style the Lythande stories were written in.  And I know the entire writing community laughs at Lythande calling it one of the worse written pieces of crap of all time, but that doesn't change the fact, it's still my favorite book and the Quaraun series is fanfiction of it.

If you don't know it, Lythande is an insanely overpowered wizard. The only female of a male sect of wizards, she has to hide her gender and live as a man, risk being executed if her sect finds out she's a female. The series is over the top mega sexualized Yuri (lesbian erotica), with the base story being that Lythande is the most beautiful person ever, and living as a man, women in taverns everywhere are throwing themselves in her lap begging for sex, not aware she's a woman disguised as a man.

The Lythande series is noted for it's weird, bizarro sex scenes, featuring Lythande creating illusionary male doppelganger versions of herself to fuck every women she meets, while she gets off on watching. It is by far one of the strangest works of bi-sexual/lesbian fiction to ever come out of the 1970s.

I started writing wizards BECAUSE of the Lythande series. I followed it rabidly, waaay back in the 1970s and 1980s when it was still being written. Sadly the author died before she finished writing it, so it remains in unfinished fragments. The scattered mish mash fragments of it have since been compiled into a "novelised edition" that has had other authors come in and write the "in between pieces" to try to link the disjointed short stories into one longer fluid novel.

But, yeah, no, Lythande is the limit of my having read Fantasy and it's not a novel, but rather was a series of short stories published in magazines in the 1970s. And while it's about a wizard, it's not your typical Fantasy story and is very much slice of life literary fiction that follows the strange sex life of a lesbian wizard who is pretending to be a man. It almost, but not quite crosses the line into being Erotica.

Like I said... I NEVER set out to write Fantasy. I set out to write more books in the shadow of Lythande, and while Lythande is Fantasy, it's it's own unique brand of Fantasy that turned the entire SFF community on it's head when it was released.

White male authors HATED Lythande for it's blatant pro-feminist, anti-male massage.

Straight readers were appalled by it's LGBTQ+ sexuality boldly on parade.

Lythande is one of the first stories ever written in ANY genre to feature a transgender main character.

Authors today, 50 years after Lythande was written, who live in a world where writing LGBTQ+ characters is common and accepted, have no idea the shock waves this EXTREMELY controversial book sent out when it was released. Lythande is the book that changed history, it's the REASON you can safely write LGBTQ+ characters today and not be sent to prison for doing so (except in Florida, the only state left that still in 2018, has laws against transgender characters and imprisons authors living in Florida who published trans characters)

Lythande shook Christian readers to their core by bringing lesbian themes into the Fantasy genre.

If Lythande had not been written when it was, and the author not stood her ground and demanded her right to publish LGBTQ+ characters, we wouldn't have the freedom to write LGBTQ+ characters today. I think a lot of people today overlook the significance this controversial piece of Lesbian Literature has had in changing our rights as authors to write.

Lythande is the book that CHANGED the publishing industry, and made it "okay" to feature LGBTQ+ characters in a GOOD light as none villains. It was the first book to ever do this.

No, I didn't set out to write Fantasy... I set out to follow in the footstep of Lythande. 

So no, I don't read Fantasy novels. I just read Lythande and set off to write something like it. But even now in 2018, we still live in a world where you can publish a woman in pants and no one bats an eye, but try publishing a man in a dress and you'd think you just assassinated the President. No, no, no, no... it's still only equal rights for women who dress like men, while men who dress like women have no rights at all. 

Such is the world we live in, and so as it now hails its 40th anniversary, the Quaraun series is STILL self published with no trade publisher willing to sully their hands by featuring a man in a dress as a main character.

It's been five decades since Lythande broke through these transphobic walls of the publishing industry and still we have not yet achieved full equality.

But I'm getting off topic, let's get back on track before my Lythande obsession side tracked me.

I tried reading Lord of the Rings... I made it to the Hobbits' 25 page long song recital and tossed the book.

I read all 7 Harry Potter books, largely because I thought they were about wizards... but then I read them, and yeah... please tell me WHERE are the wizards in Harry Potter? J.K.Rowlings doesn't seem to have a clear grasp on what a wizard is. Sorry. She doesn't seem to know what witches are either. She seems to think that it's enough to toss a wand in someone's hand and poof, now they are a wizard. That woman really needs access to a dictionary. And a few history books. And then there's the question, can a story about a modern day bitchy, angst, whiny, cry baby 10 year old, struggling through school really be called Fantasy? There's no Fantasy going on in Harry Potter. It's a bunch of kids struggling through school, with, here let's put robes on them and toss a wand in their hands, now we can call them wizards, oh look, a troll ran through the dungeon, now it MUST be Fantasy.

Sure, small children who have no clue a thing about real world magic arts can be easily duped into thinking Harry Potter is about wizards, but I am  a Voodoo Priestess rank of Medsen Fey. I do readings, spell castings, curses, and exorcisms for clients. I'm also a Ceremonial High Magic Necromancer. I trained under the Hebrew Enochain Kabbalist Etiole de bleu de Azure Swanzen, famed for his ability to call up Devs, Ghuls, Daemons, and Djinn, the terror of Maine known mostly for his deadly 7 Year Retribution Curses and Mirror Box Wanga Death Spells. I was his apprentice for 37 years and have now taken over for him. I'm sorry, but real world ritual magic is an everyday part of my life and I don't know what you want to call the kids in Harry Potter, alien mutant from X-files maybe, but they certainly are not wizards, not by any real world definition of the word.

Harry Potter is angsty teen, high school drama, with elements from Fantasy in it. It's not something I would classify as Fantasy. Technically though, Harry potter isn't sold in bookstores as Fantasy, either, it's sold as Middle Grade Fiction, Young adult Urban Fantasy, and Coming of Age Story. It's generally only readers who don't know the definitions of genres who call it Fantasy. And Yes, Urban Fantasy is a vastly different genre then Fantasy, that's why it has a different name.

I did make it through Lord Valentine (Majipoor), The Pern books, and For The Love of Mother Not, but it's hard to call those Fantasy, when they swing so heavily into Space Opera Sci-Fi.

I also read all of The Chronicles of Narnia, but it's difficult to call that level of evangelical Bible bashing true Fantasy... it's more of a religious tract of repent or burn in hell, then it is outright Fantasy.

Now, all that said, you want to know something else? I know my books are Literary first and Fantasy elements after, and I don't submit them to publishers of Fantasy, because I do read publisher submission guidelines and am well aware that these books are not what they are looking for.

No, it's not Fantasy publishing houses, bitching and moaning that my books are:

  • "too literary for my tastes"
  • "avant garde"
  • "artsy-fartsy"
  • "not mainstream enough"
  • "too experimental"
  • "too much dialogue"
  • "not enough description"
  • "reads like a stage play not a novel"
  • "this reads like something Ernest Hemingway wrote, he was a terrible writer, why anyone would want to emulate his style is beyond me"
  • "you men are all alike! all write anti-feminist crap idolizing Ernest Hemingway" 
  • "Do you even read Fantasy?"

No... these things came from Literary Press publishers and publishers of Experimental Fiction. I'm sorry... my books are "too literary" for Literary Press? How is that even possible?

And so while I do not read Fantasy, I do however read a TON of Literary Fiction, thousands of volumes of short stories, particularly small university press published works written in the Slice of Life style, which I've since learned is a style that was created by Ernest Hemingway and is also known as The Ernest Hemingway Style of Writing. When I learned that Hemingway was the inventor of the Slice of Life style of writing, suddenly it made sense to me why so many editors/publishers were telling me my novels were "too much like Hemmingway". I LOVE Slice of Life Literary Fiction, and yes, I do write that style, I just do it with magic and Elves and wizards instead of the current era angsty teenagers that typically grace the genre.

After 30 years of being told my books were crap because they read like Hemingway's books, I decided, maybe I should look up this Hemingway guy and find out who he is and what he wrote. Should probably know what I'm being compared to. So I was in my 40s first time I read Hemingway, and you know what I discovered? People are right. I DO write like him! OMG! Almost exactly! Now I have a new favorite author. I love his stripped down, bare bones, no nonsense, right to the point, 99.9% dialogue, no descritions, no dialogue tag, very stage-play-esque style. Okay. So, now I know I write like Hemingway, but, then my question becomes... why do so many editors and publishers think the Hemingway style of writing is utter crap-tastic shit that should never see the light of day?

>>my writing is simple and light. none of my stories or novels hold any deeper messages or meanings. my writing is also straight to the point... I'm not a fan of flowery descriptions and metaphors

Yep. I'm with you there. I do the same thing and I too do not like flowery prose.

>>i find myself comparing my simple written stories to the complex and deep ones that my writer friends create. i know this is bad, but i cant help it. i feel inadequate next to them.

I think, instead of feeling inadequate, you should instead bask in the glow of your uniqueness and be proud of the fact that you don't follow the crowd and do what everyone else is doing, just to fit in.

I know when people say "we need more diverse books" they generally mean, needing more non-white or non-straight characters, but there is more to diversity in books then just a character's race or sexuality... there is also diversity in style of writing too.

Don't feel bad about your work. Never let anyone make you not proud of what you write. Writing is hard work. You pour your heart and soul into it. Let your writing be what you want it to be, not what others think it should be.

"Well you could..."
"I think you should..."
"...separate it into phrases."
"...keep people's phrases together."
"I just said that!"
"So did I!"
"Or we can say it together!", they said at the same time.


^^^This fast moving, overlapping, interrupted, dialogue without tags format is called, The Ernest Hemingway Style of Writing (his novels went on for 100+ pages in this manner without ever including descriptions, narrations, character names, or "said" tags)

Yes, I know, the entire writing community hates Ernest Hemingway and every editor and publisher on the planet wishes he'd killed himself sooner so they didn't have to acknowledge his books exist, and the going advice is to run from his style of writing like it was the plague, but I love this style of endless non-stop dialogue, free of descriptions and tags, I do write the Quaraun series in this format, and I wish more authors would use this method as I love dialogue written like this.

After reading Hemingway, a habit I started doing fewer than 5 years ago, I'm left to wonder why it is that every author, editor, and publisher I've ever crossed paths with, hates him with such verhement fury.

About a year ago, somewhere on Reddit, this very sub, I think, there was a writer, who asked a very simple question: "How can I learn to write like Ernest Hemingway?"

They were met with well over a hundred replies from authors telling them Hemingway's style was shit and to not attempt to try it.

They called it old fashion, male power, out dated, anti-feminism, and a long list of other things. I've yet to find any of these things in his work.

They raved and ranted that it was a horrible style because of it's lack of descriptions or narration. They said it was difficult to read, confused readers, and left too much to the imagination. I must say, I have to wonder at the IQ level of someone who finds Hemingway difficult to read. A kindergartener could read his work and understand it. It's that bare bones and no nonsense.

The Hemingway style of writing is simple, clean, uncluttered, has no deep meanings, no hidden messages, contains no flowery descriptions, and has no metaphors. It's simple, bare bones, no nonsense, straightforward writing, that says things like they are. It's sometimes crude, and makes no attempt to whitewash the horrors of Human nature. Swearing, drinking, smoking, drugs, abortion, sex outside of marriage are all things found in his works. He makes no attempt to hide them. They are just there. In the 1920s, when writing such topics was very taboo.

You don't need a dictionary to figure out what he's saying because he didn't sit there with a thesaurus hand picking the most obscure words possible to use.

>>i can't write 'deep' or overly descriptive stuff

>>my writing is simple and light. none of my stories or novels hold any deeper messages or meanings. my writing is also straight to the point... I'm not a fan of flowery descriptions and metaphors

>>i find myself comparing my simple written stories to the complex and deep ones that my writer friends create. i know this is bad, but i cant help it. i feel inadequate next to them.

>>I write Young Adult novels, typically contemporary and urban fantasy.

It doesn't matter what genre you write in, any genre can be written in any style. 

Ernest Hemingway Style, is exactly that, a STYLE of formatting your words on the page. It is not a genre and can be used in any genre out there.

You, unfortunately are writing in the Ernest Hemingway Style, the single most reviled and most hated style of writing out there. Every author on this subreddit will be coming after you in lynch mob fury at the horror of someone not writing purple prose. Every editor and publisher on the planet will scream raging infernos at you. And I don't know why, other then, they have snooty pretentious-sticks up their asses.

Readers love Ernest Hemingway. Authors, editors, and publishers hate him. Go figure.

If you are aiming to publish, you might find it difficult to attract a publisher, especially if you are aiming at the YA or Urban Fantasy markets. Both have die hard readers that expect flowery prose, hidden messages and deep meanings. YA these days seems to REQUIRE some Bible-thumping, bash that moral into your reader's brain message to be well woven into it.

YA readers just want to read an entertaining story, but YA publishers have to cater to the white power, gay hating, born again Christian American parents who buy the books, to hell with what the children WANT to read. For some reason deep meanings, hidden messages, flowery descriptions, and metaphors do seem to be what they look for, especially in your chosen genre, so writing bare bones, entertainment for entertainment's sake is going to make it very difficult for you to get your work published.

I don't write those things myself, so, I end up self-pubbing a lot of my work. I remember as a kid, being absolutely disgusted by the way The Lone Rangers would be in the middle of a fight with the bad guys, then would suddenly stand up, brush himself off, face the camera, point at the kids watching at home and say: "Now remember kids, don't try this at home!" then jump back into the fight with the bad guy.  I was 6 years old first time I saw an episode of The Lone Ranger do that and it pissed me off. I hated it. I wanted to watch the damned show, I didn't want to be lectured by some know-it-all-adult. Adding those "public service announcements" into the show, totally ruined The Lone Ranger for me. I loved the show, I hated the lectures.

You want to write for teens, write for teens, not their damn, shit-head, holier-then-thou, know-it-all, bully parents. Americans think they know what's right for their kids? Then tell me this:

  • Why is it 80% of all female Americans will have 2 abortions before the drop out (not graduate from) school at the age of 14?
  • Why do 93 CHILDREN die each month in the state of Maine alone, from drug overdoses?
  • Why are there an average of 500 drive by shooting done by teenagers in Chicago, every month?
  • Why does 3 in every 9 children in America die from starvation before reaching the age of 10?
  • Why have 42% of all school in America experienced 3 school shootings since the year 2000?
  • Why do 73% of the members of the Ku Klux Klan join on their 8th birthday?
  • Why is it 94% of the 2million residents of Maine received their first gun on their 8th birthday?
  • Why does America's average heroin addict get their first taste of drugs from their parent's stash before they are 10 years old?
  • Why is it that 2 or of every 3 females in America were raped by a male relative before the age of 12?
  • Why is America the #1 producer of child sex slaves and pre-teen prostitution?
  • Why do 1 in every 7 residents of the state of Maine own a machine gun?
  • Why is 1 in every 4 machine gun owners in the State of Maine under 10 years old?
  • Why is 1 in every 5 gay men in America, murdered before they reach the age of 15?
  • Why is 1 in every 14 transexuals in America beheaded?
  • Why are the heads of 1 in every 5 LGBTQ pet owners' pets in Maine, nailed to their LGBTQ owners' front door?

I'm sorry. Please explain to me, WHY is it that publishers think American parents know what's good for their children, when they can't get their white-power, gay-hating heads out of their Bibles long enough to raise anything other then terrorists?

YA readers just want to read an entertaining story, but YA publishers have to cater to the white power, gay hating, born again Christian American parents who buy the books, to hell with what the children WANT to read.

It's the parents not the kids who want us authors to weave hidden messages and deep meanings into out novels.

Deep descriptions exist in YA novels, because parents have an agenda they want to push, a message they want brainwashed into their children, they don't want their children to have the freedom to think on their own, so they make sure to buy only books that will instill "values" (how to hate everyone different as much as possible) into their children. Parents, not children, buy the books that are riddled with hidden messages, and publishers seek to publish what sells.

If you want to write books that are not riddled with hidden messages to the masses, then, don't write YA genre. Children don't get to decide what they read, they no freedom and no rights, and by American law are nothing but property. 

Sad reality of the publishing industry, is the fact that the bulk of books sold, are bought by people who WANT a hidden agenda in their books. People WANT books that fit their world view. Publishers, publish what sell. Publishers don't care what it is as long as it makes money. It doesn't matter how much an editor loves it, they'll reject it if they think it won't sell. And it doesn't matter how much an editor hates a book, they are in this business for the money and will accept a book they abhor, just because they know it will sell.

The point is, you as an author need to look at your personal goals.

Are you willing to continue onward, writing stuff that you enjoy, but that will likely not be picked up by publishers? If money is not your goal and you are willing to self-publish, then, yes, you certainly can continue as you are now, writing the Hemingway style of writing that is simple, clean, uncluttered, has no deep meanings, no hidden messages, contains no flowery descriptions, and has no metaphors.

If, however, you are looking to trade house publish and become a money raking bestseller, well, you'll have to swallow your pride and learn how to write deep meanings, hidden messages, flowery descriptions, and metaphors, like it or not.

That's just the way the publishing industry is.







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