EelKat Wendy C Allen - Dark Fantasy Author

Avallac'h vs Vilgefortz:
Who Did What To Ciri?
The Witcher Series

Answering the question:
So, I know everyone keeps saying Avallac'h is a pedophile, but now I just read that Geralt and Dandelion are pedophiles too. I can't find any ages mentioned in the novels. Where are these people getting the character ages? 

And the follow up question:
 Answering viewer response to Avallac'h having sex with Ciri 22 times in Chapter 5 of Lady of the Lake:

 Wait, that was Avallac'h? I'm confused.
It's been a while since I read the novels, like 5 years.
I thought Avallac'h was the scientist who was studying Ciri.
He kept her locked up in cages and tortured her.
I forgot about the sex crazy guy with the baby.
Was that Avallac'h?
Wait, who was the scientist then?
Wasn't Avallac'h the scientist obsessed with studying Elder Blood?
Wasn't Avallac'h the scientist who was hunting Ciri all those years?
Wait, I'm confused, the sex crazy one, that was Avallac'h?
Then, who was the scientist obsessed with Elder Blood and spent all that time torturing Ciri, then? 

All images on this page are from:
The Witcher 3: 
Wild Hunt 
|Game of the Year Edition| 
Completionist Run: 
The Avallac'h Playthrough
(Watch It Live HERE)

Answering the question:

So, I know everyone keeps saying Avallac'h is a pedophile, but now I just read that Geralt and Dandelion are pedophiles too. I can't find any ages mentioned in the novels. Where are these people getting the character ages? ..................................................... 

You are reading the 2018 American release Kindle English edition aren't you?

It's heavily censored.

If you want to see the character ages, as well as the more violent sex scenes, and the 10 deleted Avallac'h scenes, you'll need to track down 1st edition copies of the novels.

The original unabridged edition is not allowed to be published in America because of Federal government COPA laws.

As a general rule MOST books published in Poland are not allowed to be sold in America. Poland is the world's top producer of child porn because it's not illegal in Poland like it is in most other countries.  This results in Poland  having a high rate of novels that feature sex scenes with very young girls and very old men... stuff that can't legally be published in American Erotica, gets casually written in every day none Erotica novels in Poland.

In America the average Erotica novel has 3 sex scenes at the most.

The Witcher novels, not sold as Erotica, has 3 or more sex scenes EACH CHAPTER and they are often more detailed then what is found in American Erotica.

If you are wondering how much sex is there in the Witcher novels... 

* the first sentence of the first novel opens during a sex scene.

#IN ONLY CHAPTER 5 of Lady of the Lake... just 1 chapter, you will find:

* 1 scene where Avallac'h attempts to rape Ciri

* 8 sex scenes between Ciri and King Auberon

* between each of those are 8 sex scenes between Ciri and Avallac'h

* 1 scene where Eredin tries to rape Ciri

* 4 scenes of Ciri raping Avallac'h

* and 1 actually consensual sex scene between Ciri and Avallac'h

For a grand total of 22 sex scenes between 12 year old Ciri and her 3 adult male Elf lovers in ONE SINGLE CHAPTER of the series.

In Poland, the number 1 selling children's picture book aimed at readers 6 to 8 years old, in 2016, was a book that featured a 4 page fully illustrated child rape scene and was sold to schools as a way for Kindergarten teachers to teach children rape was okay because men needed a release. ... Did I mention rape is not illegal in Poland either?

Something to think about.

...especially if you are uncertain if you want to read the Witcher novels.

Uhm... here...

To give you some perspective of how young Ciri was when she was having sex with Avallac'h...

...and to show you just exactly WHY there were so many people in my Twitch chat, chanting that Avallac'h was a pedophile, resulting in I had to turn my Twitch chat off...

Here's a lore-friendly picture of Ciri and Avallac'h their correct novel ages...

Avallac'h with 12 year old Ciri... the age she was when she was in those 22 sex scenes with Avallac'h, King Auberon, and Eredin, in Chapter 5 of the novel Lady of the LakeAvallac'h with 12 year old Ciri... the age she was when she was in those 22 sex scenes with Avallac'h, King Auberon, and Eredin, in Chapter 5 of the novel Lady of the Lake
Avallac'h with 12 year old Ciri... the age she was when she was in those 22 sex scenes with Avallac'h, King Auberon, and Eredin, in Chapter 5 of the novel Lady of the LakeAvallac'h with 12 year old Ciri... the age she was when she was in those 22 sex scenes with Avallac'h, King Auberon, and Eredin, in Chapter 5 of the novel Lady of the Lake
Avallac'h with 12 year old Ciri... the age she was when she was in those 22 sex scenes with Avallac'h, King Auberon, and Eredin, in Chapter 5 of the novel Lady of the LakeAvallac'h with 12 year old Ciri... the age she was when she was in those 22 sex scenes with Avallac'h, King Auberon, and Eredin, in Chapter 5 of the novel Lady of the Lake
Avallac'h with 12 year old Ciri... the age she was when she was in those 22 sex scenes with Avallac'h, King Auberon, and Eredin, in Chapter 5 of the novel Lady of the LakeAvallac'h with 12 year old Ciri... the age she was when she was in those 22 sex scenes with Avallac'h, King Auberon, and Eredin, in Chapter 5 of the novel Lady of the Lake

Are you horrified enough yet?

No?

I guarantee  can horrify you even more when it comes to the sex scenes in the Witcher novels...

There is a Polish publisher who takes books like this, including that picture book, to Video Game conventions across America, doing lectures, trying to gain outside support to convince the Polish government to make both Child Porn and Rape illegal. 

He is one of the editors who worked on making the American editions of the Witcher novels.

I found out about him at PortCon 2018 when he recognized that I was CosPlaying one of Poland's most famous characters: Avallac'h, and he approached me before his workshop and asked if I'd be willing to sit in on his panel to be interviewed about CosPlaying a character from the types of books he was trying to get banned.

As I do panels at conventions anyways, I said yes and joined him in his panel and got a chance to read first hand the types of books Americans couldn't even begin to imagine were out there.

Very few Americans can stomach the Witcher novels in their censored edition. I don't recommend you read the original Polish editions. The American sensitive snowflake mind couldn't stomach them.

If you saw it, about a year ago me and my Witcher fanatic brother did a video where we compared my 1st edition 1996 copy of Lady of the Lake to his 2018 American release English Kindle edition.

There are 10 pages of Avallac'h scenes in my copy that do not appear in his copy.

His 2018 copy of the novel has 78 fewer pages then my 1996 edition.

ALL references to the ages of Ciri, Yennefer, and Triss Merigold are DELETED from the 2018 American edition.

In the 1996 edition Ciri is 12 years old in her sex scenes with Avallac'h and Auberon, 

...while Yennefer is 15 in her sex scenes with Geralt and Triss Merigold is the youngest at just 10 years old in her sex scenes with Geralt.

ALL of Dandelion's women were under 16 when he raped them, with Ciri being the youngest at only 7 years old.

Avallac'h is 2,000+, Auberon is 468, Geralt is 198, and Dandelion is 51.

There are ZERO females over the age of 16 in ANY of the Witcher novels' more than 300 sex scenes.

There are ZERO males under the age of 50 in ANY of the Witcher novels' more than 300 sex scenes.

The American editions are more than 400 pages shorter then the original 1st editions. 

A LOT was removed for the American release of the novels, because the American government would not allow some of the more violent child rape scenes to appear in the American editions.

Most people read the American editions and usually only after playing the games, so have a mental image of Ciri, Yennefer, and Triss as adult women when they read the novels and remain blissfully unaware that Ciri is 12, Yennefer is 15, and Triss is 10.

Which is EXACTLY WHY when people ask me if I recommend they read the novels I say: 

*"I'm hesitant to recommend them. The story is great, but there are issues, big ones, that could really cause you to hate the novels, the Netflix series, the characters, the author, and the games REALLY bad."*

#Do be aware, know BEFORE you go to read the novels, that the Witcher novels ARE straight up Hard Core Child Porn Rape Fantasy Erotica, and this is the primary number 1 reason why few people make it through even the 1st volume!

Very few moral people are going to be able to stomach the graphically detailed, back to back, in every chapter, scenes of child rape, child abuse, and child molestation.

There are HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS of graphically detailed scenes of child rape, child abuse, and child molestation.... like I already said... there are 22 scenes of child rape, child abuse, and child molestation, just in ONE CHAPTER, just between Ciri and Avallac'h, and Avallac'h is the ONLY male character out of 5,000+ male characters who IS NOT ABUSIVE to Ciri (yes, that does mean men like Geralt, Dandelion, and Vesemir were VERY abusive of Ciri in the novels.)

Those 22 scenes with Avallac'h, we see Ciri HAPPY for the ONLY TIME in her life. She classifies him as her friend, the only person she can trust, the only friend she has ever had. 

As bad as things are with Avallac'h, and as much as readers like to complain about him, what he did, was so insignificant compared to what other men did, that he was seen by Ciri as her best friend. And that right there, tells you how really, really, really, REALLY BAD the child rape, child abuse, and child molestation she went through before meeting Avallac'h was.

Remember also there are some very important issues that contribute to my obsession with Avallac'h, that clearly you don't know or have forgotten... and if you have read my profile or watch me regular, there is no way you can forget because I talk about it all the time:

* I was born into and grew up in a Child Prostitution Ring

* I had been raped by men in their 30s, 40s, 50s and older, more than 500 times by the time I was 8 years old

* We were kept locked in closet like isolation cages, with no lights, no toilets, no water, no electricity, in 24 hours of total darkness, slept in mountaiospiles of our own feces for years on end, and only received food and water once every 12 days, with the food often being ridden with maggots 

* None of us had schooling, medical records, birth certificates, social security numbers.... no one even knew any of us had ever been born because we were all born into this and had never been allowed to go out in public

* Me and 140 other children were rescued by an FBI raid, more than half of them commit suicide before reaching the age of 18, most of the ones still alive, ended up going back to prostitution jobs because they were emotionally and mentally crippled so bad by the sex abuse that they had no self esteem, felt they were worthless, and couldn't see anything better

* Today fewer than a dozen of these girls are still alive; most died from being beaten to death by drunk and drug addled pimps and clients, or their pimp's drug dealers

* after the FBI raid I set out to getting a GED and going to college, learning laws, and set out to courthouses to get new laws passed, and devoted my life to working with police and FBI to help get real world child sex abuse eradicated

* In the past decade alone, I have shut down 14 child prostitution rings, and sent over 200 real world child raping pedophiles to prison

* We are briefly told that Avallac'h identifies heavily with Ciri because he was kept as a sex slave by King Auberon, since his childhood because of his Elder Blood

* we are told that Avallac'h is sex crazy, simply because he doesn't know anything else as a result of having been kept imprisoned as a breeder his entire life, since childhood, a side effect of his being one of the few male Elves not born sterile

* we see Avallac'h infuriated with the horrific amounts of child rape, sex abuse, and molestation she has been put through her entire childhood, and we see him rescue her out of that life and try to give her a better life

* we also see Avallac'h not really knowing what a better life is, and simply putting Ciri into a better class of sex abuse, with her being used as a breeder the same way he was, because doesn't know what else to do with her

* we see Ciri at first thinking Avallac'h wanted to abuse her, but then see her witnessing him being abused and he realizing his mind is seriously broken by centuries of sex abuse that he is himself trapped in

* we see Avallac'h mentally torn apart over being forced by the King to put Ciri into the breeding program, while at the same time Avallac'h is doing everything in his power to keep the King from having sex with Ciri and trying to help Ciri escape the breeding program

* and we see Cri befriending Avallac'h on one very simple horror: the realization that what he now is, is what she will become if she doesn't fight back against the men who are sexually abusing them both

* I heavily identified with both Ciri and Avallac'h because, like both of them, I too grew up in horrific child sex abuse.... and I saw many, like Avallac'h, who as adults were mentally broken so badly by decades of sex abuse that they couldn't leave the life of abuse no matter how much they wanted to

While the entire series focuses heavily on the dozens upon dozens of men and women who are sexually abusing Ciri every step of her life, it was Chapter 5 of Lady of the Lake, when Ciri is trapped with Avallac'h, and steps back and sees how centuries of sex abuse destroyed his life, totally crippling his ability to function in normal society at all, and realizes that this is the path her life is becoming, that she will end up emotionally crippled by sex abuse, just like Avallac'h, if she doesn't fight back against Vilgefortz and his henchmen.... 

...THAT is the part of the novels that really hit close to home for me, because, I've been there. I've seen that in real life. 

* I've seen children destroyed by sex abuse.

* I was a child whose life was destroyed by sex abuse.

* I saw many of those children, go on to become adults trapped in a cycle of continually going back to their abusers or finding new abusers and never able to break away and live life

Seeing Ciri's life torn apart by sex abuse, and then seeing her encounter an adult whose life had been utterly destroyed by sex abuse and an inability to break out of the going back to abusers cycle... it triggered all kinds of nerves with me, because it's something I've experienced and can identify with.

It's why I like Avallac'h. I understand his pain, more than most.

It's also why it upsets me so much, when people accuse me of hating Ciri because I like Avallac'h.... because I can identify with Ciri, far more than you can even imagine... right down to witnessing the beheading of someone I loved. You can't even begin to imagine how much I can identify with Ciri's torment over Mistel's beheading.

And so while I have to turn my chat off because idiots want to shriek blind furies at pedophiles in my chat.... they clearly have no clue, who I am, what I've lived through, or WHY I can identify with Avallac'h and Ciri on such huge levels.

I know what it is like to live through the hell that both Ciri and Avallac'h lived through in their lives.

That is why I can read the extreme levels of Child Porn and child rape that happens in the Witcher novels and the Witcher novels become my favorite books BECAUSE of the child sex in them.

Because I can look at those sex scenes and think: "OMG! You poor thing! I know what that's like, it happened to me too!" And it drives me to want to help both Ciri and Avallac'h out of the sex slave hell they live with.

And for this reason I do HIGHLY RECOMMEND the Witcher novels, because they are told from Ciri's point of view and you DO see the horror and agony she suffers through as a result of the sexual abuse.

However...

I at the same time can NOT recommend the Witcher novels, precisely because I know MOST people are going to read those scenes while jerking off because they are deviated men who read child porn because they enjoy it.

It becomes a double edged sword, with me WANTING to recommend the novels as a way to say.... "Look! This shouldn't happen to children!" but at the same time, I know the average reader is not looking at the horror of what Ciri is experiencing, because they are too busy jerking off while look at her vagina as it's being raped.

I look at the Witcher novels and see something that is the perfect tool to use to help shut down real world child sex slavery, but I know most reader look at the Witcher novels as Erotica and that deeply saddens me, because 

* these books should NOT be looked at as Erotica. They should be looked at as Horror. 

* These novels should not be seen as a tool to excite you, but rather as a tool to drive you to put an end to the real world shit that is happening to real world children every day.

#Plus the author is a horrendous bigot who hates gay people and black people on EXTREME SUPER FANATIC levels.

If you are gay, I DO NOT recommend you read the novels, unless you have got a stomach of steel and a thick skin, just because the "kill your gays" trope is flagrantly flaunted nearly every single page.


90% of the characters in the novels are gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, or asexual... and within a few pages of telling you this, you WILL see them not only be killed, but they will be mutilated, castrated, guts ripped out, tortured, beheaded, and their bodies paraded around. 

I read on average 3 novels a week. I've read close to 30,000 novels in my life time. I read predominantly LBGTQA+ literature, I've seen a lot of bad stereotypes against gays and a lot of "kill your gays" trope use over the years.... 

#And the gay-hatred is BY FAR THE WORST I'VE EVER SEEN in the Witcher novels!.... Its really, really, REALLY bad!

Likewise, White Power Doctrine is preached and glorified on INSANE EXTREMES in the Witcher novels. There is even a line that outright says "only blacks murder, no white man ever killed anyone".

Black characters are EVERYWHERE in the novels, but as quickly as they show up, they are brutalized and massiquere for the fun of it, and very clearly done because the author hates black people and can't kill them himself so is doing it on the page. This is NOT a case of the author showing us racism is BAD, rather it is a case of the author PROMOTING racism and the murder of none whites as GOOD.

Likewise, there is a anti-abortion message that briefly takes center stage, when you see a radical vigilante, going out every night to hunt down women who've had abortions, kidnapping them, taking them to his lab, torturing them like medical testing lab rats, then strangling them to death and dumping their bodies in a ravine. 

He also hunts down pregnant women about to have abortions, rips their babies out of them, then does the above to the women. Takes the babies home to his wives to take care of. 

He has 500 wives, thousands of children all rescued from abortions living with him, and the ravine is described as being filled with tens of thousands of dead women. 

The abortion bitch murdering, baby rescuing vigilante, is Avallac'h. The game forgot to tell you he did that, didn't it?

There are more. A lot more. But these are the ones that stood out the most to me. The Child Porn is out of control, as is the gay hating and black bashing.

The Witcher novels are first and foremost Andrzej Sapkowski's manifesto of hate alongside his raging pedophillia.

I classify Andrzej Sapkowski in the same category of author as Marion Zimmer Bradley... great at telling a story, but boy do they belong in prison. The only reason neither of them have gone to prison for real life pedophillia, is because Marion Zimmer Bradley died before her court trial ended and Andrzej Sapkowski lives in Poland where both Child Porn and real life rape of children is LEGAL.

If either of them had lived in America after the law changes of September 1997... both of them would have gotten life in prison.

Again... something to think about.

I'm able to look past the cringe horrors of the Child Porn, pedophellia, gay killing, black bashing that gallops through the Witcher novels and see the story behind the author's manifesto and lusts for little girls.

In the 1996 edition Ciri is 12 years old in her sex scenes with Avallac'h and Auberon, 

...while Yennefer is 15 in her sex scenes with Geralt and Triss Merigold is the youngest at just 10 years old in her sex scenes with Geralt.

ALL of Dandelion's women were under 16 when he raped them, with Ciri being the youngest at only 7 years old.

Avallac'h is 2,000+, Auberon is 468, Geralt is 198, and Dandelion is 51.

There are ZERO females over the age of 16 in ANY of the Witcher novels' more than 300 sex scenes.

There are ZERO males under the age of 50 in ANY of the Witcher novels' more than 300 sex scenes.

But I was only able to do so because I had played the games so many times before reading the novels, so could see the little girls of the novels as the adults they were in the games.

Had I read the novels BEFORE playing the games... I would not have finished reading the novels and I NEVER would have played the game.

I highly recommend you DO NOT read the novels until AFTER you have played the games, for that very reason.

22 Times in 1 chapter - if you hate Avallach with Ciri in my game you should really run screaming from the novels from EelKat on www.twitch.tv

 Answering viewer response to Avallac'h having sex with Ciri 22 times in Chapter 5 of Lady of the Lake:

Wait, that was Avallac'h? I'm confused. 
It's been a while since I read the novels, like 5 years. 

I thought Avallac'h was the scientist who was studying Ciri. He kept her locked up in cages and tortured her. 

I forgot about the sex crazy guy with the baby. Was that Avallac'h? Wait, who was the scientist then? Wasn't Avallac'h the scientist obsessed with studying Elder Blood? 

Wasn't Avallac'h the scientist who was hunting Ciri all those years? Wait, I'm confused, the sex crazy one, that was Avallac'h? Then, who was the scientist obsessed with Elder Blood and spent all that time torturing Ciri, then? 

 .............................................................................................  

Answering viewer response to Avallac'h having sex with Ciri 22 times in Chapter 5 of Lady of the Lake:  

.............................................................................................     


Wait, that was Avallac'h? I'm confused. It's been a while since I read the novels, like 5 years. I thought Avallac'h was the scientist who was studying Ciri. He kept her locked up in cages and tortured her. I forgot about the sex crazy guy with the baby. Was that Avallac'h? Wait, who was the scientist then? Wasn't Avallac'h the scientist obsessed with studying Elder Blood? Wasn't Avallac'h the scientist who was hunting Ciri all those years? Wait, I'm confused, the sex crazy one, that was Avallac'h? Then, who was the scientist obsessed with Elder Blood and spent all that time torturing Ciri, then?  


.............................................................................................  

No, Avallac'h was not the scientist studying Elder Blood.

Vilgefortz was the one studying Elder Blood.

Avallac'h had no need to study Elder Bloods, because he WAS an Elder Blood.

Yes, Avallac'h was the sex crazy one with the baby.

Avallac'h was King Auberon's court mage.

Avallac'h was the nobleman who lived in a palace on the Lake of Avalon a two day ride through the forest to Tir na Lia.

Avallac'h was the poet and flutist musician who spent his days sitting in the apple orchard on the Lake of Avalon writing love poems and music.

Avallac'h is the Elf who took Ciri horseback riding around the Lake of Avalon every day for 8 years.

Avallac'h is the Elf Ciri slept with camped out on the beach on the shore of the Lake of Avalon.

Avallac'h is the one who was in love with Lara Dorren and tried to make Ciri be Lara Dorren, because Ciri and Lara looked like twins.

Avallac'h is the mage who rescued Ciri from Leo and Vilgefortz, by sending a black pegasus and a silver sword through a portal into the cage she was being tortured in, allowing her to kill her tortures and escape on horseback.

Avallac'h is the one who nursed Ciri back to health and took care of her after her escape from Leo's Gladiator Fighting Rings.

Avallac'h was the friend who was there for Ciri after Ciri's lover Mistel was murdered.

Avallac'h was convinced Ciri was his dead wife Lara come back to him, and he wanted to pick up where he left off. Lara died while 8 months pregnant with another man's baby.

Avallac'h wanted Ciri pregnant with another man's baby so he could have his family (Lara and her illegitimate baby) back.

Avallac'h was the one who sent Ciri off to have sex with King Auberon, because Avallac'h wanted Ciri to give birth to Lara's illegitimate baby.

Avallac'h is the Alder Elf (an Elder Blooded Elf) who lived with The Aen Elle Elves (he was NOT an Aen Elle Elf) and was the last of his kind, so he cloned himself to create a wife out of his own blood. 

Avallac'h is the mage referred to as **The Knowing One**, because he is a psion and could see the past and future, and could hear the thoughts of everyone.

Avallac'h is the one who did the sonic scream and had telekinetic powers.

Avallac'h is the one who was an Aen Servahn Elf aka a Sage aka an Elf with telepathic abilities.

The Aen Elle Elves referred to Avallac'h as "The Elder God" because of the imens powers of his Elder Blood.

Avallac'h lived in a cave in Skellige that was also Lara's tomb. The Skellige Druids, gathered around this cave and worshiped Avallac'h as their god, referring to him as "The Ancient Unseen Elder God".

After 700 years of kidnapping pregnant women who were about to have abortions, strangling them to death, cutting out their fetuses, and draining his own blood and putting it into said fetuses, Avallac'h finally succeeded in creating a female clone of himself whom he named Lara Dorren *(my beloved seagull)* out of the fetus he took from King Auberon's now murdered wife Shandail.

Because Lara and 4 of her female descendants had Elder Blood and the powers that came with it, The an Elle Elves called Avallac'h The Elder God From Whom all Elder Blood Flows.

Because King Auberon was the biological father of Lara Dorren, Avallac'h concluded that if Ciri had a baby by King Auberon it would be Lara's baby.

Avallac'h is the one who had a phobia of swords and vampires because he suffered from severe anemia as a result of draining his blood for 700 years to create Lara Dorren.

Avallac'h is the one who commit suicide after Lara's death and became the wraith that guarded her tomb.

Avallac'h left Lara's tomb when Ciri showed up, and was convinced Ciri was Lara reborn and come back to him.

Avallac'h is the one who always addressed Ciri as "My Lady of the Lake" and worshipped her saying she was a Goddess.

Avallac'h is the one who raved and ranted that his own blood had betrayed him, because Lara left him for a Human lover, Cregannon.

Avallac'h is the one who talked to his brain and had arguments with his brain over the need to get back the blood that Cregannon stole from him.

Avallac'h is the one who obsessively picked feainnewedd flowers in the field where Lara died, while saying that the flowers were his blood brought to life, stating that these flowers sprung up anywhere where his blood was spilt on the ground.

Avallac'h obsessively picked these feainnewedd flowers while saying he needed to turn then back into his blood because he needed his blood back, because he was in frail health as a result of draining too much of his blood to clone himself to make Lara.

Avallac'h is the one who sometimes couldn't tell that Ciri was not Lara, and called Ciri "Lara" and would ask her why she took his blood and gave it to Cregaggon.

Avallac'h is the one who devolved into gibbering madness, accusing Ciri of stealing his blood and demanding she give it back to him.

Avallac'h is the one who demanded Ciri give him Lara's baby so he could have his stolen blood back.

#Avallac'h was the bipolar manically depressed Elf who spent half of his life building a wife for himself out of his own blood , nearly killing himself to do so, becoming very frail, sickly, and suffering from a weak heart, prone to massive heart attacks as a result of having drained so much of his blood, and went insane when she (Lara) left him for someone else, and became obsessed with getting his blood back, via having a baby with Lara's 4th great-grand daughter Ciri.

Avallac'h was NOT the scientist who was studying Elder Blood.

Avallac'h was the father of all Elder Bloods and was dying from anemia and was trying to gather his blood back from any living Elder Blood he could find.

....................................................  ....................................................  

The scientist you are thinking of is Vilgefortz NOT Avallac'h.

The scientist with the dungeons and torture devices was Vilgefortz.

Vilgefortz.

Vilgefortz was the scientist-mage with the dungeons and torture chambers. Vilgefortz kept Ciri locked in cages and had his buddy Leo torturing her. 

Vilgefortz is the scientist-mage who was obsessed with Elder Blood and wanted to be the most powerful mage of all time. 

Vilgefortz believed that if he drank the blood of an Elder Blood he would gain super powers, so he kept Ciri in a cage and was draining her blood and drinking it. Vilgefortz then decided that eating Elder Blood babies would make himself invicable. 

Vilgefortz is the scientist-mage who created the machine to pump eggs out of Ciri's overaies so that he could grew Elder Blood babies in jars. Vilgefortz is the scientist-mage who locked Ciri in a cage then hooked Ciri's ovaries up to the torture device egg pumping machine. 

Vilgefortz is the scientist-mage who is in all 8 novels, beginning to end. Vilgefortz is the scientist-mage who hunts Ciri her whole life. Vilgefortz is the primary villain of the series. He appears on well over 2,000 pages of the 4,000+ page series.

There are 800+ scenes of Vilgefortz involving dungeons, torture devices, cages, or hunting Ciri.

Vilgefortz was brutal, vicious, mean, and hateful to Ciri.

.............................................................................................  

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Avallac'h was NOT the scientist obsessed with studying Elder Blood. 

Vilgefortz was the scientist obsessed with studying Elder Blood. 

Yes, THE GAME tells you Avallac'h was a scientists studying Elder Blood... but the GAME IS FAN FICTION!

Any information that comes from the game, IS NOT CANON!

The GAME NOT THE NOVELS says that Avallac'h is a scientist studying Elder Blood...and BECAUSE THE GAME IS FAN FICTION that was created by the game developers, the info from the game CAN NOT BE COUNTED AS CORRECT! 

BECAUSE THE GAME IS FAN FICTION that was created by fans of the novels, the info from the game CAN NOT BE COUNTED AS LORE FRIENDLY!!

BECAUSE THE GAME IS FAN FICTION that was created by Witcher fan boys, the info from the game CAN NOT BE COUNTED AS ACCURATE!!!

If the game told you the information, then chances are very high, that that information is NOT LORE and is instead FAN FICTION.


The game is a work of fan fiction,

created by fans of the novels, and therefore:

 Any info from the game...

CAN NOT BE COUNTED OR CONSIDERED,

at all, when answering your questions.


Only information from the novels is correct, true, and accurate lore to the series.

The game took many elements of Vilgefortz's character and put them into Avallac'h's game character, thus changing some facts about Avallac'h.

And so, while in THE FAN FICTION OF THE GAME Avallac'h was the scientist obsessed with studying Elder Blood.

In the ACTUAL, true and accurate lore of the novels Avallac'h was NOT the scientist obsessed with studying Elder Blood, rather Vilgefortz was the scientist obsessed with studying Elder Blood. 


Avallac'h and Vilgefortz were both scientist-mages.

Ciri tried to have sex with both Avallac'h and Vilgefortz.

Avallac'h had trouble resisting Ciri's throwing her panties at him and masterbating in his face, while Vilgefortz was not tempted by Ciri's pussy flashing, panty dancing behaviours at all.

Avallac'h was highly sexually attracted to Ciri while Vilgefortz found Ciri to be disgustingly repulsive and was sickened to even look at her.

Avallac'h was over joyed that Ciri was a filthy, skanky, slutty assed, whoring, cunt bitch who flashed her pussy in the face of every man she saw. Avallac'h thought that was just the greatest thing for 12 year Ciri to be doing, and became her pimp to encourage her to do it even more then she already had been doing it on her own before she met him.

Vilgeforzt was repulsed and disjusted that Ciri was a filthy, skanky, slutty assed, whoring, cunt bitch who flashed her pussy in the face of every man she saw. Vilgefortz thought that was just the worst thing for 12 year Ciri to be doing, and tortured her worse every time he caught her doing it to discourage her from doing it.

The more furiously Ciri masterbated every other page for the reader, the more Avallac'h chased after her, like a love sick puppy.

The more furiously Ciri masterbated every other page for the reader, the more Vilgefortz put her in cages and tortured her to try to get her to stop being a whore.

Do not underestimate how big of a whore Ciri was in the novels. I seriously question if Andrzej Sapkowski ever met a child before. Is he even aware that normal, sane, not mentally retarded children DO NOT run around with their hand shoved up their vagina 24 hours a day? Ciri is thoroughly disgusting in the novels. It just makes me want to puke, how vile she is.

The worst part of Ciri, is she run around shoving her cunt in every man's face, then gets raped and nearly raped by dozens of men over the course of the novels, and runs away boo-hooing "I don't why they tried to rape me!"... uhm... maybe if you pulled your hand out of your cunt and put your panties back on, men would stop trying to rape you.

*sheesh*

Ciri's extreme levels of mental retardation, make her an incredibly unbelievable character, because we see her supposedly"smart" in some scenes, but then every 5 pages there go her panties flying across the room again and her fingers up her cunt again, and if the men in the room refuse to watch her, she throws herself on the floor and holds her breath, and whenever anyone wants to know why she acts like this, she says "Because I can, and you can't stop me, so there! Nannanananaaaaa!"

I mean, really? We are supposed to believe a retard like ^^^THAT^^^ is also smart or intelligent?

At best we could say Ciri has Tourettes and doesn't know how to stop masterbating and screaming "Nananananaaaa!" for that reason, but even real children with Tourettes stop masterbating long enough to do other things, at least once in a while.

And someone with Tourettes is furiously masterbating 24 hours a day because they have a brain malfunction.... Ciri is TRYING to seduce every man around her. That's quite different.

I found Ciri in the novels to be an incredibly revolting, vile, and disgusting character because I got sick of every time I turned the page, there she was yet again shoving her cunt in yet another man's face.

Ciri in the novels is just so disgusting. So vile. So unwholesome. So loathsome. So unpityable. 

Every other thing she does is so disgusting and makes me want to smash her face in with a brick.

In the novels, Ciri was a filthy slut who liked whoring her ass off to every man she saw, something she started doing at the ripe old age of just 7 years old. Much of her childhood was spent dancing in bars.

Vilgefortz was in Ciri's life since she was 4 years old. She grew up with him. He hated the whoring lifestyle that Ciri was trying to live.

Ciri met Avallac'h when she was 12 years old. By the time she met Avallac'h she was a proud prostitute with 68 men under her belt. Avallac'h took advantage of this and became her pimp.

Yes, the sex crazy guy with the mega baby obsession, THAT one was Avallac'h.

Avallac'h was also a scientist-mage, but he is the ONLY Elf to ever be born with Elder Blood. Avallac'h is unique. There are no other Elves like Avallac'h. 

Because Avallac'h was the only one of his kind, there was no mate for him and he wanted a family. 

So Avallac'h cloned himself to create Lara Dorren. But Lara thought of Avallac'h as her father not her husband so she left him for someone else. 

Lara was 8 months pregnant with another man's baby when she died, and she made Avallac'h promise to raise the baby, but he didn't raise it and instead gave it to Humans to raise. The baby died before reaching adulthood (but after giving birth to twins) and Avallac'h felt guilty that he had not raised Lara's baby like he had promised, becoming convinced that she would not have died so young had he kept his promise.

Avallac'h is Ciri's 5th great-grandfather. Avallac'h has no interest in Elder Blood because he has Elder Blood. Avallac'h wants a family and is obsessed with getting Ciri pregnant. 

Avallac'h's entire story revolves around his sex-crazed obsession with Ciri and his blind obsession with convincing Ciri to be his wife and give him a baby. 

Avallac'h was madly in love with Lara Dorren and Ciri looked like Lara's twin, so Avallac'h was making Ciri wear Lara's clothes and teaching her how to walk, talk, dress, and act like Lara. 

Avallac'h went insane from the guilt of the death of Lara's baby and convinced himself that Ciri was Lara reincarnated come back to life to give him a second chance to raise her baby. 

So Avallac'h tried to make Ciri be Lara and tried to make her have an illegitimate baby, so that he could raise Lara's illegitimate baby like he had promised he would do.

Avallac'h is a very minor character who shows up just before the end of the series, appearing on only 32 pages, in 2 chapters of The Tower of Swallows (vol 6) and in Chapter 5 of The Lady of the Lake (vol 7). 

Every page featuring Avallac'h is fully focused heavily on sex, sex, sex, sex, babies, babies, babies, Lara Dorren, strip dancers, babies, prostitutes, sex, sex, sex, and more sex.

There are ZERO scenes of Avallac'h involving dungeons, torture devices, cages, or hunting Ciri.

Avallac'h was was the sex crazy pervert who was in love with Ciri and was kind, gentle, and loving towards her.


If This Video Is Active, I'm Live Streaming Right Now...

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About This Game Play:

This current mod-making playthrough, is prep for a future fully-lore-friendly playthrough....

The ultimate goal of my mod making playthrough, is to make every character as lore-friendly as possible to how they were described in the novels.

Most specifically though we are transforming as much of the game as possible to match Chapter 5 of the novel Lady of the Lake, when Ciri lived with Avallac'h the first time, on The Lake of Avalon.

This current playthrough is largely a lot of test runs of hundreds of mods. It is being played open world with quests rarely happening, to allow us to run tests of various mods as I build them.

Due to the fact that the game engine, scripts, and other files is often open and being edited while I'm playing the game, this current playthrough is very unstable with bugs and glitches happening  daily and game crashes happening, sometimes as often as every few minutes.

You are witnessing a live overhaul and full rewrite of the game, that when finished will be used in a complete (more normal style) playthrough of the game.

However do not expect to see the lore-friendly playthrough any time soon. 

I began building this overhaul mod May 13, 2018 and have worked on it daily for 4 to 12 hours a day, all of it streamed here on Twitch, and... 

...while we've now altered over 2,000 script files, more than 7,000 textures, several hundred meshes, 400+ xml files, dozens of ini files, and have now begun work on changing 3D models...

...this project is far from finished and could see as much as another 3 years of daily work before completion.

Computer  stats: 

Motherboard: Asus Z170

Processor: i7-7000 @4.20GHz

RAM: 16 GB

Graphics Card: NVirdia 1070 GTX

Capture Card: AVerMedia Live Gamer HD


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Answering reader questions, that deserve to be on every page...


Wait... you're that freak that brought otherkin to the internet aren't you? You're like the founder of online otherkin awareness movement or something.

Yes.

I am.

I did on some level introduce OtherKin, or rather, ElfKin, to the internet in 1996.

I am considered to be one of, if not the VERY FIRST OtherKin to grace the internet.

Though, I am ElfKin, not OtherKin. They are different.

I completely reject Humanity.

I live my life, as an Elf.

I have done so, since 1987. 

As of 2020, I have lived as an Elf for 33 years.

I hate Humans.

I feel no empathy, sympathy, or compassion for Humans.

I see Humans as vile, evil creatures, whom I share no connection to.

I feel nothing but revulsion for Humans.

There has never been a point in my life when a Human showed me any kindness, love, or compassion.

I have been tortured, beaten, caged, raped, shunned, outcast, ostracized, and bullied endlessly by Humans.

The Humans who raised me, kept me locked in a cage from the time I was 8, until I was 31 years old. They said they did so because I was not a Human and was not allowed to participate in Human activities like eating at the table, sleeping on a bed, using a toilet, or bathing. They said I was a Changeling, brought to them by Demons. They claimed the real Human baby was taken from them, and I was a Demon left in it's place. And while I agreed with them, that I had no similarities to their Human nature, I did not believe myself a Demon either.

I was 31 years old the first time anyone told me I was a Human. But no one has yet been able to prove to me that I possess the evilness of Humans. 

Unlike Humans, I feel love.

Unlike Humans, I feel pain.

Unlike Humans, I shed tears.

Unlike Humans, I feel empathy.

Unlike Humans, I feel sympathy.

Unlike Humans, I feel compassion.

I have tried for 40 years, to live among Humans, but I've yet to meet a Human that will accept me as a part of their society.

I have never been welcomed by any Human.

I have never been accepted by any Human.

The older I get and the more Humans I meet, the crueler I learn that they are, the stronger my hatred for the entirety of Humanity grows.

I searched for years to find out, what I was, where I fit in, where I belonged, for everywhere I went, I was repeatedly told I was too strange, too bizarre, too different, too alien, too not-Human to be welcomed in any group, any church, and community, offline or online.

Since I was a toddler I felt a strong kinship to Eels and Cats, thus my name. My Native American grandmother named me EelKat when I was 3 years old, citing that Eels and Cats were my spirit animals.

My other grandmother called me FarSighted, because I talked to ArchAngels and Faeries in the forest. She said I walked through the veil between the Spirit World. She died when I was 8 years old.

As I grew older, and continued to be ostracized by all of Human society, I started researching the things Grammy Eva and Grammy Helen has said: Spirit Animals, Fairy Sighted, and Walking the Veil. That is when I realized, everyone was right... my parents, my uncles, everyone at every church I ever attended, random strangers I meet on the streets... every one, every single Human, as always said, I either was not Human, didn't act Human, or seemed to be Alien to Human Society, like I came from another world. 

The Humans who raised me, kept me locked in a cage from the time I was 8, until I was 31 years old. They said they did so because I was not a Human and was not allowed to participate in Human activities like eating at the table, sleeping on a bed, using a toilet, or bathing. They said I was a Changeling, brought to them by Demons. They claimed the real Human baby was taken from them, and I was a Demon left in it's place. And while I agreed with them, that I had no similarities to their Human nature, I did not believe myself a Demon either. And decades later, after researching, I feel they were right. 

The more I studied, the more I realized, everything I do that Humans say is strange and bizarre, things like love, feeling pain, shedding tears, empathy, sympathy, or compassion, those things Humans are incapable of doing, that I do and brand me as starkly notHuman, they were all things the Ljósálfar do.

So I researched the Ljósálfar. They do many thing I do, that Humans find to be my most deplorable traits: like growing flowers, being vegan, and not hurting animals, shunning drinking of alcohol, smoking, drugs, or owning weapons. 

I eventually came to believe I am an Elf trapped in the world of Humans, as some sort of test.

No. I do not believe I am Human.

Yes. I do believe I am an Elf.

Yes, I AM that "freak" who introduced the internet to the concept of OtherKin, via ElfKin, in 1996.

Yes, I am the textbook standard, found in actual medical books, used by Psychiatry students, yes, those are photos of me you see in your college textbooks and in the Journal of Psychiatry entry. I am the first one diagnosed and therefore the standard by which all OtherKin are measured. 

Yes, I am the measure by which all OtherKin around the world measure if they too are OtherKin or not. But I wonder how many of them, know the origin of the term OtherKin and how many of them would call themselves that label is the ACTUALLY KNEW, the ACTUAL origin and meaning of the word?

OtherKin is not a label I use to call myself. The term OtherKin was coined by team of Psychiatrists, who didn't know what else to call me. They classified me at first as "a Feral Child with Learned Schizophrenia", citing that while I didn't have Schizophrenia, all 5 of the uncles and their father, who raised me did have Schizophrenia and because I was raised in total isolation with zero contact with anyone outside of these men, I was raised as though what they were was normal because I had no outside source by which to judge that how they raised children was not normal, nor was how they lived their lives normal. I was told by these Psychiatrists, that once I got out in Human society and found out what mainstream society was like, I would see, how different, how unique, how bizarre, and how unusual and not the norm, my uncles were.

I have lived among mainstream society for 33 years now and I have yet to meet a kind, loving, friendly Human. 

This group of Social Workers, Psychologists, and Psychiatrists, coined the term OtherKin, because they said there was nothing I conformed to, no textbook illness that matched what I was. They toyed with the idea of diagnosing me many different ways because they said that on the surface I seemed like this or that, but then, comparing all the symptoms, I never fully matched up.

Schizophrenia didn't stick because there were no voices in my head telling me what to do. After tossing out the option of Schizophrenia, they tried out Multiple Personality Disorder and also Dissociative Identity Disorder. But, I don't have multiple people I become. Both of those have the requirement of becoming someone else, another person. MPD you are unaware of the other people "living in you" while DID you are fully aware of the "other people" and communicate with them and likely have a lot of past life experiences. I don't believe in past lives or reincarnation or being multiple people inside of one mind. I dress up in costumes of characters, but I never try to be that character, I simply like to wear their pretty clothes. 

They tried considering Asperger's for a bit, but I missed many, many, many a mark there.

In the end my official diagnosis is: Actual Autism Kanner's Syndrome, with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and SchizoAffective or maybe Schizotypal tendencies, I can't tell, and the most bizarre behaviour of refusing to believe she is Human, largely because she was raised in an isolated UFO Cult that raised her as a Demon from infancy to middle age. She has many phobias most notable a severe and disturbing phobia of Humans in general and Men in particular. There is no correct diagnosis for her. She is unique. This is a unique case. I am putting in a request to the State for funding to study her. This is something new. This needs to be studied. We are witnessing the side effect of child who was raised in total isolation. A child that was never loved, never kissed, never hugged, never showed empathy, sympathy, or compassion. She feels nothing for Humans. She does not believe she is Human. There has never been a documented case like this before. This is the worse case of child abuse in American history. 

I did not found any "OtherKin Awareness Groups" as is the common internet misconception. I don't even use the term OtherKin. It's a label OTHERS slap on me, as further proof that I don't belong in Human society, am not Human enough to fit in, not Human enough to be welcomed, not Human enough to be included. That's all the label OtherKin means to me. Yet more proof that Humans hate me, see me as not Human, and feel the need to put a label on me. 

But I am the standard by which all who claim to be OtherKin, measure if each other is OtherKin or not, because I am the textbook case, the original test subject, that caused Psychiatrists to coin the term OtherKin, so most people believe I am the "first" OtherKin, even though groups like The Silver Elves existed in the 1970s, long before the FBI raid that rescued me from one of the Heaven's Gate compounds.

No. I do not try to bring awareness to the "OtherKin Movement". OtherKin is a psychological disorder that for some odd reason, teens and young adults, think of as some sort of roleplaying, cosplaying movement. They don't know what it is. They never looked up any medical journals or psychiatry textbooks. They change what they are on a whim, a Vampire today because they love Twilight, a Witcher tomorrow because they saw the NetFlix series, SpiderMan next week after they watch that movie. They don't know what OtherKin is. It's not a fandom. It's not roleplay. It's not dressing up. And you're a fool if think that's what it is.

People get the misconception that it is roleplaying and cosplaying because I am prone to dress up in elaborate costumes. I like their clothes. It's as simple as that. I'm trying to be them. I don't roleplay them. I don't pretend I am them. I simply like to wear their clothes, in the exact same way, every teenage girl in school has to wear the same t-shirt as her best friend.

When the OtherKin diagnosis was coined, I didn't yet wear costumes. I'd never seen TV or movies or video games. I'd never been to school or doctors. I had no point of reference for what any of these characters would have looked like. The wearing of elaborate costume came about almost a decade AFTER Psychiatrists coined the term OtherKin to describe me.

OtherKin, was referencing my refusal to accept the fact that I was Human, when Social Workers, Psychologists, and Psychiatrists tried to convince me that I was not a Changeling Demon switched at birth like the adults who raised me had taught me to believe.

OtherKin, was referencing the fact that my combined hatred for and phobia of Humans was so great that I had no ability to believe I was a Human, when they told me I was.

OtherKin, it's ACTUAL Journal of Psychiatry definition, is very simply: The belief that one is not Human and is something other than Human. That's what OtherKin means.

Anyone who tells you OtherKin is anything else, has no clue what OtherKin is, knows nothing about it's history, knows nothing about how the term was coined, and is completely clueless about OtherKin in general.

People like to come in saying things like: "Well, because I think OtherKin is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of OtherKin to include ___"

No. OtherKin is an ACTUAL MEDICAL DISORDER... you don't walk into a doctors office and say: 

  • "Well, because I think Cancer is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of Cancer to include ___"
  • "Well, because I think Asthma is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of Asthma to include ___"
  • "Well, because I think being stung by a bee is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of being stung by a bee to include ___"
  • "Well, because I think broken bones are about ___ I think we should change the meaning of broken bones to include ___"
  • "Well, because I think Influenza is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of Influenza to include ___"
  • "Well, because I think Diabetes is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of AIDS to include ___"
  • "Well, because I think SmallPox is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of SmallPox to include ___"

Now can you now see how utterly stupid and idiotic people are when they say: "Well, because I think OtherKin is about ___ I think we should change the meaning of OtherKin to include ___"?

And, no, OtherKin is not the thing where, you wake up one morning and feel like wearing a cat ears headband, so that therefore makes you a cat.

The problem with OtherKin is there is far too much misinformation out there about what OtherKin is, written largely by know-nothing 10 year old children who couldn't tell their ass from a hole in the ground, and think that because they want to wear a headband with cat ears, that gives them to authority to rewrite the definition of medical illnesses.

OtherKin is a mental disorder. It's not a movement. Not a trend. Not a fad. But for some reason, in the last 20 years or so, people have thought it "cool" to "be OtherKin" so, they jumped on a bandwagon to try to be something that they really had no idea what it actually was.

Today, because, thanks to Tumblr and Instagram, OtherKin is now interchangeable with Furries and CosPlay, the OFFICIAL diagnosis of the Mental Illness as listed in the Journal of Psychiatry has been changed from OtherKin to Species Dysphoria, to definasciate from the the actual mental illness of not believing one is Human and the current fad trend of dressing up roleplaying.

People who say I started a movement or awareness groups or claim I try to bring awareness to the OtherKin movement, have no clue who or what I am and are talking out their asses. They don't know me. They do not speak for me. And they certainly don't understand me or how I live my life.


What's your thought on fictionkin? Do you think fictionkin is valid? I'm just a bit curious to know. Personally I think it's really neat! Is that what you do?

No.

I am not FictionKin.

I am EelKin turned ElfKin, according to people who believe in Kinship.

I don't move in OtherKin circles, groups, or communities. 

I am considered the "first" or "original" OtherKin, by many in the "OtherKin community" and I hate it, because I have never identified as OtherKin and deeply dislike labels being slapped onto me by vile Humans who try translate what they think I am.

What are labels? A label is simply a way to point at someone and say: "they are not Human enough to be accepted in society". That's all any label is.

And that is all any Human has ever done to me. Label me as this, label me as that.

Never once has ANY Human, ever thought to look at me as another Human, as another member of society, as a potential friend.

Because I am technically "the first" OtherKin, seeing how I was the patient in question, when the team of Social Workers, Psychologists, and Psychiatrists coined the term. I am a patient who was undiagnosable and had "something new", and "OtherKin" was the working title. But because I am technically "the first" OtherKin, I am constantly being contacted by founders, creators, and moderators of groups, forums, subreddits, Discords, FaceBook groups, and other various assorted online communities. I don't know why. I think they see me as a "celebrity" in terms of OtherKin. I'm supposedly the "ideal OtherKin" whom others try to be like.

But... I'm not trying to "be" anything. I don't even call myself OtherKin or ElfKin or EelKin or UnicornKin or CatKin or FoxKin, all of those being types of Kins that people has used to describe me.

I accept the invites and then never post in their communities or groups, because I find myself incredibly uncomfortable around most people who call themselves "OtherKin", because 99.9% of the ones I've encountered are very clearly teenagers and young kids in their 20s who are just trying to be part of a club. They don't actually have post traumatic stress disorder, they know nothing about child abuse or rape, or witnessing multiple murders, or trying to cope with being raised in a cage from the age of 8 years old to 31 years old while also being raised to believe you were a demo, because the adults in your life had schizophrenia and couldn't tell the difference between children and demons. They don't know what it is like to be 31 years old the first time any one ever suggested to you that you might actually be a human, and everything the adults taught you about your lack of Humanity was a lie.

When I accept the invites to join these groups, I go there, hoping to find others like myself, who were never Human, not once from their time of birth. I go there hoping to find others like myself, who were rejected by Humans from the day they were born. But all I ever find are happy go lucky juvenile delinquents rebelling by wearing cat-ear headbands while licking milk out of a bowl.  They ENJOY pretending to be animals. They have fun, partying in their fur tails. They have no trauma. They know nothing about OtherKin and it's origins. What OtherKin is or how the word got coined.

The bulk of them are just a group of kids looking for a party where they can dress up in costumes. Only this and nothing more. And that is not OtherKin. Not even close.

Now, that is not to say there is anything wrong with what you are, no matter what you are or how you identify. Your identity is certainly valid and should be acknowledged. I'm not saying it's invalid or should be pushed aside or ignored. What I'm saying is, chances are very high that what you are classifying as OtherKin, is not in fact OtherKin.

That's the problem with online OtherKin communities. They spread far too much misinformation and leave actual, correct information spread far too thin and this leads to a lot of confusion.

The thing is I AM the ACTUAL MEDICAL, psychiatric definition of OtherKin, and it's incredibly rare to the point that fewer then 100 people have ever, EVER been diagnosed with it EVER. Fewer then 100 people in all of the millions of years of this Earth having existed. That's not many people.

And yet, there are MILLIONS of OtherKin, so called, self proclaimed OtherKin just on Tumblr, and not a one of them has a clue what OtherKin even is and that's painfully obvious.

The problem with the invites to join these groups, is I'm not what they think I am. They expect me to be a roleplaying party animal like them and I'm not.

And the fact remains - I hate Humans, and they are just Humans dressed like cats and dogs. 

Let me repeat this: I HATE HUMANS.

I WISH HUMANS WOULD DIE. ALL OF THEM. I HATE THEM.

And you want me to join your little group of pretenders? I hate every one of you and you think ha-ha oh she's being in character. 

No.

I really do hate Humans.

No Human has EVER given me a reason to think otherwise.

No Human has ever been my friend.

Not one.

Not Ever.

None.

Every Human I have ever met, pretends to be my friend for a few days, then they turn into cruel, hateful, backstabbing bastards.

Humans are incapable of love, friendship, compasion, sympathy.

Humans are evil.

Humans are cruel.

Humans are sadistic.

Humans enjoy hurting others.

Humans are hateful creatures who do nothing hurt everyone in their path.

And if you don't understand THAT, well, Honey, then you CERTAINLY Are NOT OtherKin.

OtherKin is not about your spiritual awakening, your identification with an animal guide... OtherKin is the hatred of Humans, on levels so extreme, that wish all Humans would die.

OtherKin is about you NOT being Human and seperating yourself from Humans because Humans are pieces of shit.

Humans can not be trusted.

Never turn your back on a Human.

Humans lie.

Humans cheat.

Humans steal.

Humans murder.

Humans torture.

There is NOTHING good in a Human.

And if you are ACTUAL, REAL, MEDICALLY DIAGNOSED as OtherKin, then I don't need to tell you that, because you already know evil Humans are.

Humans exist to kill, steal, and destroy. Only this and nothing more. There is nothing else in Humanity.

And the online OtherKin Communities who send me invites to join them.... I've yet to encounter one, single, solitary, actual, real, medically diagnosed OtherKin in any of them. And I've checked them all, and encountered well over a million people who claim to be OtherKin.

I go there are look, in hopes that one day, i will find someone, like myself, who is not Human and has never been accepted by Humans. But there is no one like me. Not surprising, seeing how in all the milinia of the Earth, fewer then 100 people have ever been diagnosed.

 And the online OtherKin Communities who send me invites to join them....They do what everyone does and start rumors about me, gossiping among themselves about what they THINK I am, and they build up fanfiction, fantasy worlds about me, that have no basis in reality. They hyped up and excited, fall in love with the fictional version of me that they created in their heads, and then find themselves deeply disapointed when they actually talk to me for the first time and find out that 100% of everything they liked about me, was just fiction made up them, themselves.

Labels. They label me into a group and they love the IDEA of me as that label in that group, but then, meeting me shatters their fantasies about me, when they realize, I'm not what they told themselves I was.

That's the problem with OtherKin and people who call me OtherKin.

You see, they think I'm joking when I say I hate Humans, but I could show you a copy of my psychological evaluation, and the entire section, where the psychiatrist worried about my server homicidal desire to kill all Humans.

I'm not joking when I tell you, that if you act even remotely Human in my presence, I will pull a brick out of my tote bag and smash your jaw in. I've done it many times.  

My psychological evaluation, has a full section, of worries that I show no empathy for Humans on any level what so ever, to the point of extreme Sociopathy. Yes, that's a word in my evaluation.

Far too many people look at my being the original "OtherKin" patient, and don't read the full report. They giddy with joy, thinking I'm play acting, role playing, pretending. I'm not. I don't joke. I never joke. Do you know why? I'll tell you why.

My uncles, while beating me in the face with a shovel when I was 8, or breaking my jaw with a cinder block brick when I was 14, or stabbing my arms with forks when I was 4, or driving a 2 foot long foundation nail through my hip leaving me crippled ever since I was 6 years old, or cutting the bottoms of my feet with rusted saw blades when I was 13.... or any of the hundreds of similar things they did.... while they did it, they always said the same thing: "It's just a joke, hahahahahahahaha!", "I'm only joking, hahahahahahaha!"

I have scars all over my body.... scars from wounds that bled for days. Wounds that should have been seen by a doctor. Wounds, that they filled with maggots, because they kept maggots in jars for that reason.

Do you know what it feels like to have you hands chained to cinder blocks, and forks driven into your arms with a hammer, that drove the tines in all the way to the bone,  another fork put in, the wound torn open, and maggots poured in, as the adults around you laughed and slapped each other on the back over the good fun joke they were doing, because, the 5 year old girl they are torturing, is not Human, so it doesn't matter, because she's just a changeling left behind by Demons who took the real child. Have you ever watched maggots crawl under your skin then chew their way back out. And finally pass out hours later, and be left there unconscious for days in pools of your own blood. And when you wake up, the adults are disapointed, that you, the Demon Changeling is still alive.

That's what I grew up with.

I was 31 years old when the FBI raid rescued me.

My entire first 31 years of life, was spent being daily tortured, daily told it was okay, because I wasn't Human anyways.

The end result is the only thing in my mind that is more evil then rape and murder, is a joke.

And you'll find out how fast I beat you to a pulp if you dare say word joke in my presence. A joke is the only thing more triggering to me than rape.

Still think you are OtherKin or you know anything about me and my life, how much I hate Humans, or the fact that OtherKin was a term created by Psychiatrists, as a working title to diagnose me, the child who survived "the world child abuse case in American history"?

Yeah. the "OtherKin Community" has a vastly warped view of who I am, and why I'm the way I am.

When you ask me questions about OtherKin and CosPlay and RolePlay... and worse, when you try to sexualize anything about me or make mems about me and say you are just joking... you just make me hate Humans even more. Because you can call yourself OtherKin all you want, but you, running around playing and joking and laughing and smiling, you forget, I don't do any of those things. 

Jokes. Laughing. Smiling..... I see those things as a threat and a reason to fight back. And clearly the OtherKin Community knows nothing of trauma, torture, and abuse at the hands of Humans.

OtherKin, it's ACTUAL Journal of Psychiatry definition, is very simply: The belief that one is not Human and is something other than Human. That's what OtherKin means.

If you believe something, you have no doubts, so you would never ask "Am I OtherKin?".

I have yet to find an OtherKin on any online community, who TRULY BELIEVED they were not Human. They will tell you they feel connected, they say they no longer want to be Human. Most acknowledge themselves as the spirit of a non-Human living in a Human body.

Answer me this... how can you stop being Human if you don't believe you are Human? Only someone who believes they are Human would say they want to stop being Human.

They build character sheets, detailing the backstory of their alternate being. But if the being IS YOU, then your life, your childhood, your experiance ARE your backstory. If you had to write a character backstory, you are not OtherKin, you are Multiple Personality Disorder or Dissociative Identity Disorder.

OtherKin you are YOU. You are just not Human and not accepted by Humans as Human. You live with Humans and your experiences with them, are very simply the experiences you have every day, and you don't need to sit down and write a backstory. There is no backstory in OtherKin.

Me? I wouldn't know the first thing about feeling Human, because I never was Human. I never had a transition. I never shifted. I never felt the need to STOP being Human, because there was never a point from the day I was born, when anyone ever acknowledge me as being Human.

But, let's answer your question. My email inbox is so full of so many OtherKin questions. Someday I'll get around to answering them. Let's start with your's.

When you ask me about what type of OtherKin I am, it is immediately clear that you know nothing about me, my history, or the history of the origins of the word OtherKin.

The first known group of OtherKin was ElfKin and was The Silver Elves, and the group still exists. They were founded in 1978. I joined them in 1987. I did not remain Silver Elf, as I found more of a connection to Elves in general, and they were a bit more "religion focused" (like they wanted people to obey their set of rules and such, with was too restrictive for me and contrary to how I felt Eves were). Because of the connection to spiritual teachings, in America The Silver Elves are considered a "legally recognized religion" by the Federal government (same as Catholic, Wicca, Baptist, LDS/Mormon, Voodoo, etc are considered as such). They are really connected to the spiritual and religious side of OtherKin and I liked that a lot.

The term OtherKin, was coined in 1997 by a group of Social Workers, Psychologists, and Psychiatrists and was the working title of the mental illness that would eventually become known as Species Dysphoria.

So calling groups like The Silver Elves "OtherKin" is questionable at best, but they are considered by most "OtherKin" to be the first "OtherKin Group", even though their compound was founded in 1978 and the term OtherKin was coined in 1997.

Being older (elderly) and an ElfKin for 40+ years now, I've seen the OtherKin movement evolve and change a lot. There is always something in it that makes me go: "What the f...?" 

But there is never a point when I think: "They are not valid because of ____." 

It's always just a reaction of more: "Wow! Boy do they have a completely different take on OtherKin than what I've always thought it was." 

And then after I think about it I'm: "Yeah, yeah, I can see how they feel that way. Yep, that makes sense."

I think, because I'm a lot older, and got into it via The Silver Elves originally, I end up taking a very spiritual/religious outlook on it, where I see Elves sort of as my "spirit animals" so to speak... and it seems like, more recently, especially in teens and 20s age group, their take on OtherKin is more, like Dissociative Identity Disorder, like they actually believe they REALLY ARE an Elf or Wolf or whatever. 

The first time I heard of the new form of OtherKin, the "I'm not a Human, I'm a Dog" type, my mind was: "Wow! That's crazy!" You see, I look at OtherKin as "I'm channeling the spiritual energy of the Dog, not, I literally become a Dog because I don't want to be Human any more." So, at first, I just had a hard time wrapping my mind around the new "Tumblr style" OtherKin. But then, the more I thought about it, the more I realized, no, it's not crazy, because they are doing the same thing I'm ding, they are just doing it differently.

I mean, I use guided meditations and visualizations and oracle cards to connect with the spirit world and it's energy, and for me, connecting to Elf energy and Unicorn energy and ArchAngel energy has always been the best/easiest way for me to do that. And in guided meditation, you often focus on mentally becoming the Elf or Fox or Raven or whatever your spirit guide is, and so yeah, thinking of it that way, suddenly the new style of OtherKin didn't seem crazy to me anymore and I realized, they are just like me, only different.

And then I heard of FictionKin and I was like mind blown. I was like: "OMG, you don't really believe you actually ARE Harry Potter, do you?"

But then almost immediately I was reminded how many times people said to me: "OMG, you don't really believe you actually ARE Lord Sesshomaru, do you?" because I "CosPlayed" him for 9 years... not to conventions, no, I dressed like him 24/7/365 every day for 9 years, around the house, to go shopping, just all day, every day.

People interviewing me about that back in 2005 and 2007 is one of the early things that brought OtherKin to the internet. When people asked why, if I thought I was him, I would say: "No. I'm channeling his energy. I feel more connected to his energy when I dress like him. I'm not trying to be him."

And then I did the same thing with Quaraun for 7 years. And for the past 3 years I've done the same thing with Avallac'h. And yeah, these are fictional characters. Which, I guess, maybe, would cause other people to see me as FictionKin? But they are all Elves, and I am ElfKin and I'm not trying to be or become the Elf in question, rather I feel better able to connect to spiritual Elf energy, when I dress like a fictional Elf from a novel. It's more like I borrowed the Elf's clothes and just wear them.

It's like weighted blankets. They protect you and help you sleep. Same thing. I have PTSD, OCD, Kanner's Syndrome, and Agoraphobia. The longest I have gone without setting foot outside of the house was 15 years.

I was horribly abused by my uncles and several of their male friends from their church as a child and as a result, I developed a crippling fear of Humans in general and Men in particular, and than, as an adult, years later, I was raped and that brought back all the mental trauma memories of what my uncles did, and I don't know what happened, but my mind was just mentally crippled after that, to the point that I locked myself in my room and did not leave it for 15 years.

2006, I went outside for the first time, in 15 years, and I was only able to do so, by wearing a costume of Lord Sesshomaru. When you read the books, he's fearless. He can walk through crowds and he doesn't care who thinks what, and if someone tries to hurt him or his friends, he would never let the attacker hurt them. He's fiercely protective of Rin, the Human girl who travels with him. He has a fearless energy to him. Very powerful fearless energy, and I wanted to feel that.

I wanted to be able to go outside, without being terrified men would hurt me. And I tried for weeks, months, to go outside. I'd get to the door and I'd freeze. A mental block made my body so rigid I couldn't move my feet to get out the door. My agoraphobia was that bad.

So, I started meditating, channel Lord Sesshomaru's energy. And it healed, but it didn't help enough. So I ordered fabric, fur, leather, bolt of silk from Japan, from eBay and Amazon, and I made what went down in history as both the most expensive and most insanely elaborate Lord Sesshomaru CosPlay ever made. And, when I put it on, I was able to walk outside of my house for the first time in 15 years. 

It was like, before I channeling his energy, but now, he was there with me. It's the only way I know how to explain it.

I still have severe agoraphobia today. But since 2006, I can go outside, IF, I dress up like an Elf. The stronger the Elf the better. A powerful protecting spirit.

That's why I now CosPlay Avallac'h. There's no one, more protective then he is. It's what he's known for. His fierce protectiveness of Ciri, the Human girl who travels with him is beyond Lord Sesshomaru's protectiveness of Rin. He won't let anyone hurt her. He'll die to to keep her safe. So I retired the Lord Sesshomaru CosPlay and made the Avallac'h CosPlay, my new protecting spirit. An Elf, but also, a Fictional Character.

He's not real. I'm aware he's not real. But that doesn't change the fact that I can draw on his fierce protective energy, to be able to go outside, go shopping, not have to buy everything online or have others buy things for me and deliver it. I can do it myself, dressed like an Elf, but at least I'm outside.

The fact remains, there's never been a real man in my life who DID NOT hurt me. I grew up with drug dealers. Real life gangsters. They killed people. Throughout my childhood and teen years I had witness multiple murders, Brutal. Violent. I was beaten and locked in cages. I watched them kill people, then turn around and threaten to kill me if I ever told anyone.

Today most of them are dead, in prison, or on the run from the FBI. There was never a time in my life when I felt safe, and around men, I felt less safe. There has never been anyone there for me. No mental support. No emotional support. No one to protect me from the men I grew up with, or the gangs they had shot outs with.

I would read books, while hiding under a blanket to try to blockout the screaming and yelling and gun fire. None of the children were allowed to go to school or doctors. We lived on a farm, in the forest, miles from the nearest anything, fenced in and guarded by riflemen. No one had birth certificates or SSNs. No paper trail. No adults outside the clan to turn to for help. I would read books, while hiding under a blanket and praying for someone to please help me. It was none stop terror every day, all day, my entire childhood. Fictional men in books, where my only friends. I was drawn to men who protected children, especially men who protected little girls.

Lord Sesshomaru protected Rin, an 8 year old girl.

Avallac'h protected Ciri, a 12 year old girl.

That's why I was drawn to them. They are strong men who protect little girls from evil men. 

This is also why I take such a very strong and heavy offense to anyone trying to sexualize my kinship to either Lord Sesshomaru or Avallac'h.

My attraction to them is not sexual and I do not like people trying to translate it that way.

I see them, more along the lines of ArchAngels. Protectors. Someone you can look to to always be there for you. Someone who will never hurt you. Someone who will keep you safe.

Nothing will make you my enemy faster than you trying to sexualze me, my life, or anything I do. I am asexual, on an extreme anti-sex level. I have an extreme hatred for sex. And if you try to sexualize me or anything I do, you will quickly find yourself branded one of my top most hated people on the planet.

But, yeah, I am myself ElfKin, but you can see why I find no issues with FictionKin. Also, while I tend to lurk in OtherKin communities, I don't see myself as OtherKin, because I see ElfKin and OtherKin as being 2 very different, but also very similar things.

I should also point out that I think of ElfKin and FictionKin as both separate and different from OtherKin, that they are 3 completely different things in my mind, but that none is any less valid then the other and that each of the 3 should be supportive of the other 2.

My thought is, you wouldn't be Kin to anything if you had not suffered through extreme trauma and your Kinship, is your way of coping. For is, after all, nothing more than a mental illness. The concept of Kinship, was created by a group of psychiatrists, to explain people who are not Human, but live in Human society. You can not be Kin to anything and not also be insane. That is a medical fact. And therefore, all Kin are Kin to each other through their insanity, regardless of what type of Kin they are or how they explain their Kinship.

I think of all Kinships this way. Each is distinctly different, but, all are similar enough that each should try to learn from one another and be supportive of each other.


#UPDATE: June 6, 2020, A.L.S. Health Update to answer viewer questions: 
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#Have you stopped streaming?  
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#Are you still streaming? 
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#When will you be streaming again?  
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#What have you been doing while not streaming?   
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#UPDATE: June 6, 2020 to answer viewer questions: 

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#Have you stopped streaming?  

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#Are you still streaming? 

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#When will you be streaming again?  

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#What have you been doing while not streaming?   

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For those asking if I'm ever going to return to Twitch streaming... I don't know at this point. I'm sick of the harassment. 

It's been 2 years since I last did a stream when ThingyChan DID NOT send her group of shithead dipshits to my chat to chant "deserved to be raped" and "kill eelkat".... she has done it with 712 of my streams so far and blocking her and her 800 dipshit cultist followers do no good because they create new throwaway accounts as fast as I block and ban them.

That was bad enough, but she also made 200+ VODs each 4 to 7 hours long, that do nothing but spread highly sexualized malicious lies about me, in which she made the false accusation calling me a "bondage freak", a "BDSM dominatrix", and claiming I had a "foot fetish". 

Her running gag memes on Discord are out of control, and not having a Discord myself, I was unaware of them. She started a trend, where if anyone, anywhere, talking about anything, said the word "BDSM", "bondage" or "foot fetish", everyone who read it was to reply in the comments below it "just like EelKat". 

Additionally, she built up this massive post-written-rpg-fan-fiction of me, while claiming it was 100% true, depicting me as a whip carrying, pleather wearing, BDSM dominatrix, strip dancer, porn star, who own a gang bang house for men to pay money to be tortured by me.

This went on for 2 full years on Discord before I found out about it, and spanned over 2,000+ Discord posts, JUST WRITTEN BY HER, and not including the many, many, many TENS OF THOUSANDS of posts written by her fans, including her 150+ of which where she used the line: "EelKat is a cunt for liking that pussy Avallac'h". 

One of the worst things she did, was to take the horrifying sexual, child abuse I suffered through at the hands of my uncles, and take word for word, line by line, EVERYTHING my uncles dd to me as a child, and make memes of Avallac'h doing those things to Ciri, knowing full well Avallac'h and Ciri and my favorite characters and that my obsession with Avallac'h is in part psychiatric prescribe therapy to use as a coping mechanism for dealing with the abuse I went through at the hands of my pedophile uncles.

On Twitch, she made an active stalking habit of finding very-pro-fundy-Christian groups, telling them her wild sex lies about me, working them into violent attack mode frenzies, and then siccing them on my channel chanting in my chat the message "deserve to be raped" and "kill eelkat". This went on from August 2018.

The worst thing though was sending 5 gang rapists with guns to my house. They totaled 3 cars including my Dazzling Razzberry, raped 2 military wives in the apartment next door to mine, killed a 10 year old boy, beat up and hospitalized 3 elderly men including my 82 year old dad who they put in the hospital with a ruptured kidney, and did $230,000 in damages to our landlord's apartment building, resulting in the city condemning the building, making 28 families homeless, which is why my family moved February 2019.

For the longest time, I was baffled and puzzled by the wild hate that was daily posted in my Twitch chat, from people who were clearly being sent to my channel, pre-worked up, and in a mass hoard, but I could not understand who was sending them or why.

I discovered ThingyChan as being the source of the harassment, on October 21, 2019, when I saw one of her live streams, where she was making a 3d model of a character who she titled "Bjorn The Bondage Freak Just Like EelKat". I had started watching the stream, to find out why my name was in the title. I watched for 3 hours while she and OutSideLane, another streamer on a multi-stream, and 37 members in her chat, and as many more in his chat, in total over 90 people, spent the entirety of the stream talking about my supposed BDSM bondage sex life and how they should make the 3D model Bjorn do the things I supposedly did.

The other streamer suddenly stopped talking and told ThingyChan:  "EelKat's in your viewer list, let's take this to Discord" at which point they ended the multi stream.

So, I went to Discord to see what moving it to Discord meant and that's when I found the 2 year long running gag, the 2,000+ posts, and the 200+ VODs.

Among the VODs was one that she did on my birthday August 13, 2019, that was a JackBox stream, and was fully devoted to making 5 hours of lewd, sexualized jokes about me and Avallac'h, and had over 300 people in chat joining in.

When I contacted her to ask why she was doing this... her answer was: "Because it's fun!", "It's just a joke!" and "Besides, retarded cunts don't belong on Twitch".

Jokes are funny. Nothing about what she did is funny. Everything about what she did was mean and hurtful.

And jokes don't cause harm. Two women were raped. A boy died. 3 elderly men were hospitalized. 3 cars were totaled. 28 families were made homeless. The landlord lost his business.

Those are some pretty BIG side effects for "just a joke".

What she did was mean, cruel, and far from harmless.

She has taken her "meme joke" harassment to levels of mind boggling extremes and, I'm just sick of it. She is out of control and she needs to stop.

I would like to be able to stream on Twitch without this psychotic bitch and her equally psychotic followers harassing me, each and every single stream.

I'm not bothering her, I don't know why she is bothering me.

I want her to leave me alone.

Evil is as evil does.

This is a perfect example of an evil person, doing evil things.

Bullies don't care, because bullies are mean and mean people care about no one.

These people are very, very, very mean.

>>Have you stopped streaming?

No.

As every one of you who watch my streams are all well aware: Normally I stream daily for 9 hours, but I have A.L.S (Lou Gehrig's Disease) and June 2019, so almost a year ago, the symptoms got a lot worse, and so my stream schedule deteriorated with my health. With hours getting shorter and days less frequent. 

>>>When will you be streaming again?

I don't know.

Maybe August? Maybe September? Maybe earlier? Maybe later? Know clue.

The problem is two-fold:

* I am having difficulty talking, because I am having difficulty breathing. The act of sitting up causes severe shortness of breath and coughing spells.

* I am having trouble sitting up for more the 40 or 50 minutes to a time; doing so exhausts me and I end up falling asleep for 4 or 5 hours, after just sitting up for a few minutes. I am sleeping 14 to 18 hours a day right now because of it.

I can not stream until I can both sit up for a few hours to a time and also talk while doing so.

I don't know if I will ever be able to return to long streams. I may have to switch to 1 hour streams, if I can come back to streaming at all.

>>>What have you been doing while not streaming?

I am sleeping 14 to 18 hours a day, and when I am awake, I am usually too weak to sit up, so I am laying in bed, most of the rest of the day.

A.L.S. shuts down muscles and nerves, causes them to stop functioning. As long as it avoids your lungs, you can live with A.L.S. for decades, however, it often attacks the lungs early on and most people with A.L.S. die with in 4 or 5 months of getting it, rarely a few people live up to 2 years after A.L.S.  attacks the lungs.

As I can only sit up for an hour of less to a time, there is very little that I am able to do. 

It is a struggle just to eat or use the toilet, and it's been 3 months since I last had a bath or shower, simply because I have no one to help me and I can not bath myself on my own. I can't stand up long enough to take a shower and I'm too weak to sit up in a bathtub without the risk of drowning. More often than not I pass out when I try to walk to the bathroom. The act of standing takes to much out of me, even though the bed is only 4 feet from the toilet.

There is no one out there who cares about me. It is months between anyone checking in on me or talking to me face to face, so when I die, it'll be months before anyone knows, because no one cares. I am unloved and unwanted. I have no friends. Not one. Not online or offline.

What few hours I am awake, if I am able to sit up, I have been working on the LOD and Draw Distance Mod. There is a panel on my profile about it. I'll move it closer to the top so you can find it easier. I can make a few edits for the few minutes I'm awake, before I fall asleep again, from exhaustion of sitting up to long. And also working on the Avallac'h CosPlay. I can't sit up at a sewing machine but, I can hand sew while propped up on a pillow in bed.

>>Are you still streaming? 

When my health let's me, yes.

But, in April 2020, my schedule had reached the point of being 1 to 2 streams of 3 hours each week. But, right now it's difficult to sit up for more than a few minutes and my lungs are not functioning well enough for me to talk anymore, both things resulting in, there were only 3 streams total in May 2020 and none so far in June.

My last stream in May, I was struggling very badly to to breath well enough to get out full sentences and the hand tremors made it near impossible to control the game at all.

Funny thing is, my viewers are well aware I'm dying and struggling just to be able eat each day, and yet I still get messages that say *"when are you going to stream again? I'm gonna unfollow if you don't come back"*. I saved them the trouble of unfollowing and blocked their cruel, self-centered, uncompassionate asses.

If you scroll down a bit, there are a few panels with schedule update in the title names, which give you very long, full details, but short answer for here on the top is:

I've been in and out of the hospital a lot the past couple of months, and back and forth between multiple doctors, and then when I am home, I'm often too weak to sit up and so am unable to stream. There were only 3 streams in May and so far none yet in June.

In June 2019, my health got a lot worse and I've not been able to walk at all any more, not even with a cane. 

In December 2019, I got hit with an intense flu of a "as of yet unidentified strain", which severely damaged my lungs, resulting in my having extreme difficulty in both breathing and talking. My fever shot up to 105F (40.5C) and stayed there.

In January 2020, I attempted to get out of bed, and fell, tearing a muscle in my abdomen/side, causing severe pain when attempting to sit up or move my arms, causing extreme difficulty in my ability to use either mouse or keyboard or controller to play any games.

In April 2020 my fever lowered for the first time, dropping to 103F (39.4C)

Now in June 2020, the still unidentified flu has been with me 8 months, though the fever has dropped to 99F (37.2C) now. The torn muscle is healing, but my lungs are still seriously compromised and I'm still unable to speak more than a word or two at a time between gasping for air.

As such, streams are very limited right now, due to my health being in such a state that just attempting to sit up knocks the wind out of me and leaves me unable to breath.

I have no way of planning a stream schedule right now and I stream on days when I am well enough to sit up, but the past few months, those days have been infrequent.

So, I don't know when daily streams will return, as that will be determined by when my health improves.

Keep in mind a few things: 

* Streaming is not a career for me. I do not depend on it for an income.

* Streaming is not a high priority on my list of things to do.

* This is not the first time I've had an extended "break" from streaming. My longest "break" was 8 months long.

* Since 2004, I have traditionally always taken November, December, May, and June off from all online activities..... 

* November & December I am just too busy with holidays and family...

* while May & June I am too busy doing weekly, week long events, festivals, conventions, lectures, workshops, book signings, and meet & greets with fans...

* meaning that ever since I started streaming on Twitch 5 years ago, I have taken off at MINIMUM 4 full months from streaming EVERY YEAR

* - in other words, I DO NOT stream all year round and I NEVER have

* by profession I am an author (Dark Fantasy, and Weird Horror novelist), writer (non-fiction articles) and editor (editor in chief of 2 literary magazines)

* streaming is a hobby I do in my spare time after work ...

* - IF I have time after work

* - IF I'm not too tired after work

* - IF my health  is not in the way

* - IF no family issues are happening

While I put only 2 questions in the title of this panel, I've received several dozen questions on this topic, some of then, not very nice. A couple of them, down right threatening.

So, let me point out something here:

* I'm not concerned with looking for followers... I already have 30million followers on other social networks, so unlike others streamers who are falling all over themselves to kiss your mighty viewer ass,  I'm not desperate for you, your follow, or your view. 

So, bitching at me, and threatening to unfollow, because I don't stream often enough for you, when I'm in the hospital with a serious life threatening illness, just tells me that you are an unkind, uncaring, selfish little prick, so please unfollow and leave, I don't need bitchy little shits like you in my life... let me make it easier for you: I just banned you. Enjoy!

Keep in mind when you contact me, I am a business professional, with highly valued reputation in a professional career.

* Unlike you, I value my reputation and put morals, values, and professionalism front and center in my life.

* Who I associate with, reflects on me and my career. There is no place in my life trolls, jokesters, memers, immoral people of ill repute, or anyone of that ilk.

* And as such, I don't want children, jackasses, immoral bastards, or unprofessional dipshits in my life... or my channel.

If you think I need your follow, you sadly mistaken and clearly have no clue who I am.

SugarPlum... I have a FLEET of antique cars, dozens of mink and fox fur coats any one of which cost more money than you'll ever see in your lifetime, I have more then 200 CosPlay costumes EACH of which cost over $5,000 a piece, the most expensive of which cost $12,000 ... do you really think I NEED followers at all, let alone a follower like YOU? 

I'm not on Twitch for clout, fame, followers, or money. Sugar Pumpkin. I got plenty of that already.

Honey, I have more followers outside of Twitch then Ninja, Markiplier, and JackSepticEye combined. Maybe you should find out who a person is BEFORE you go bitch fest in their chat, whispers, or email.

I'm not here to fan your ego.

I'm not here to worship the ground you walk on.

Other streamers may be desperate enough to keep bitch ass followers like you, but I'm not. 

Around here, you threaten me, in any way, shape, or form... I ban you.

I'm here when I play a video game. That's it. Only this and nothing more.

I'm not here to kiss the mighty viewer ass, so you are wasting your time with threats to unfollow. Boo-fucking-hoo. 

Fuck viewers like you. I don't need you. I don't want you. You are just here to stir up trouble. 

When I got sick, the first thing I learn is that not a you little pieces of shit really gives a shit about me. 

I NEVER put my viewers before my health, and viewers like you who make bitch ass demands of do this or else I'll unfollow, are exactly why. 

Fuck ass little spoiled brats like you aren't worth it, and I learned that fast when I'm laying in a hospital bed and every other notification I get on my  phone is bitchiness from shits like you.

The viewers who are worried and concerned, they are fine, but the ones flinging threats at me, you are not. What you are doing is NOT okay.

Learn some morals, manners, and desancy. You'll not get far in life acting like an uncivilized rabid rat.

If you are not making someone else's life better, then you're wasting your time. Your life will become better by making other lives better. Stop being a selfish brat and try thinking about for a change.

I may not live to the end of the year and all you can think to do is threaten to unfollow because I'm not streaming often enough for you?

I hope when you're elderly and dying in the hospital, that you have people, just like you, sending you the same type of shitty messages you are sending to me, that you while dying in the hospital, may think back on what you did to me, and feel every last drop of the guilt and shame you deserve to feel.

Would you treat your grandmother the way you treat me?

If viewers actually care, then they understand you can't stream when your health is the way mine is right now.

And every viewer who doesn't care... I don't need those dip shits in my life.

Honey, have you even looked at my follower count here? It's only a little over 300, and I used to have over 7,000 here, but you know how I am with the ban-hammer.... I don't take shit from followers. Just because you clicked the little purple follow button doesn't give you the right to harass me.

And Honey, if all you can find to do is harass a 70 year old crippled elderly person on the internet, then, you are seriously messed up in the head and need to go reevaluate your life.



Could you please express any negatives / problems / issues you have with streaming on Twitch.

Strange question without a question mark. The editor in me wants to correct you incorrect use of grammar. It makes it very difficult for me to answer your question when you didn't phrase it in the form of a question.

Also... express? Are you sure you are using that word correctly? I have never heard anyone use it the way you are using it here.

What you wrote:

>>>Could you please express any negatives / problems / issues you have with streaming on Twitch.

What you should have written:

>>>Could you please express any negatives, problems, or issues you have had with streaming on Twitch? 

That's better. Now I can answer you.

My first 4 years streaming on Twitch, I had no trouble. None at all. 

No negatives. 

No problems. 

No issues.

I am crippled, bedridden from a broken spine due to being beaten by 3 strangers with metal baseball bats. I already had A.L.S (Lou Gehrig's Disease), but I could still walk. The beating made it worse. 

Thus I stream from bed, have a very slow, often slurred, sometimes stuttered, whisper-like voice, and serious hand tremors make it difficult for me to have quick responses in the game (meaning my characters die a lot).

It is difficult for me to speak "normally", as I can not raise my voice, scream, yell, or talk fast due to weak muscles. I lose my breath quickly because my chest muscles are too weak to fully support my lungs. This results in a frequency of me trying to start sentences and repeating the first-word several times in between gasped breaths before I can catch my breath enough to say the full sentence. As such this makes me the target of mean jokes and bullying about my poor ability to "act like an entertainer", as other streamers do.

The tremors in my fingers, hands, and arms, affect my ability to play fast paced games, make it difficult for me to hit targets in combat, and overall my movements and actions in game are slow and stuttered. As such this makes me the target of mean jokes and bullying about my poor ability to play on a pro-level like I used to do.

But the mean jokes and bullying were infrequent one or two trolls in a month's worth of daily streams. It was easy enough to simply ignore, ban, and move on without batting an eye.

And so the first 4 years, there were no issues.

...but then 2 years ago, unknown to me, a streamer thought it would be funny to start harassing me, only, I did not know it was happening at first, because she was making lewd sexualized streams about me and posting wild perverted "fan fiction" stories on Discord about me, but I was not aware of this. 

In June 2018, something strange happened. I thought nothing of it at the time. It was just another troll to ignore and ban. 

Nasty Bitch.

Anyone following me June 2018, well remember Nasty Bitch.

The VOD is still up. You can still watch it and hear what she had to say for yourself.

June 2018, a troll showed up in chat and posted: "Nasty Bitch" several times in chat. Then posted several long rant posts that started out by saying: "How can any one stand this woman, she a porn star Nasty Bitch." The posts went on and on and on ranting Bible verse quotes, screaming "REPENT!" and accusing me of a myriad of sex sins.

At the time, I had no mods in chat. Never needed one before.

The whole thing was baffling. But like every troll before her, and I know it was a HER, I'll tell you how in a second...  But like every troll before her, I did not respond at all, completely ignored her, banned her, and continued on with my stream, like nothing had happened.

About 10 minutes later... gun shots rang threw the street, as a woman in her 30s with long dark brown ponytail, drove up in a black sedan. Three men got out of the car shooting guns, while the woman, marched up to the window... you can see her in the VOD... and began screaming: "NASTY BITCH! NASTY BITCH! NASTY BITCH! NASTY BITCH! NASTY BITCH! THINK YOU CAN BLOCK ME! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! SEE I'M HERE! NASTY BITCH! NASTY BITCH! NASTY BITCH! NASTY BITCH! NASTY BITCH!" in the window, which was only a few inches from me and my webcam.

The police identified the woman as the niece of Mark. Yes. Mark of Mark and Dan. Mark, who drove a backhoe over my house. *(See pictures lower down on my profile)* Mark, who arrives at my house with the Ku Klux Klan and marches around in my driveway chanting "Too Gay For The Family Friendly Town of Old Orchard Beach!". Mark, the one who accuses me, a natural-born female who has had 7 miscarriages, of being a male to female transgender person. That Mark. 

Just as Mark's weird sexualized accusations before had baffled me, so too did Nasty Bitch's sexual accusations about me, also baffle me. But seeing how the police IDed her as Mark's niece, my assumption was that, she was just a psych nut job riled up by his psycho-conspiracies. So, I continued to not make any connection to these events with Twitch, because I did not yet know what the streamer mentioned before was doing.

In July 2018, a few more trolls showed up. Again, making wild sex accusations at me, quoting Bible verses, screaming repent. They babbled on calling me an erotica author, a BDSM dominatrix, and blubbering about whips and chains and bondage. Well, as my channel has always had a strict no-sex policy, just as my offline life has a strict no-sex policy, seeing how I'm asexual and also a nun of a religious order... I did what I always did: ignore the trolls, do not engage, do not respond, just ban them, and move on.

But this time, stuck in my mind because unlike previous trolls, these people seemed to be a "group", sort of like an angry mob, and they arrived together, and it appeared as though, they had been sent to my channel by someone else. The things they said and the way they all arrived at once, indicated that someone had told them all sorts of sex lies about me, worked them into a religion crazed frenzy, and then sent them to my channel.

It was just bizarre.

But, I ignored it and moved on. Never mentioned it. Never talked about it. Assumed it was an isolated incident.

The thing that was puzzling me was the sex references.

I've been on the internet since 1996, and it's always been a well-known fact that I am asexual, have post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of brutal rape, and my phobia level meltdowns of sheer terror that are triggered by the mere mention of sex are legendary across the internet.

EVERYONE knows to not mention sex near me, to shun sex when I'm around, ad to act like sex does not exist when they are near me. Most people are absolutely terrified to even hint to sex near me because they know how bad my post-traumatic stress disorder is and how bad my panic attacks can get if you mention sex in my presence.

And thus sex had never been mentioned in my chat before... not once in 4 years. But now, in the space of a few days, there had been 2 attacks on my channel, and one on my home, all surrounded around the topic of sex.

Trolls before these had bullied about obvious things they could see in my streams: my near-silent voice, my slow response time in gameplay, etc. But these 2 attacks, they were different, and they puzzled me.

August 2018. A partnered streamer showed up in my chat. He kept asking questions. I answered them. They were seemingly innocent questions. Nothing out of the ordinary. The same type of questions most average viewers ask most average streamers. He seemed genuinely curious at first. Harmless. No red flags went up over this guy at all. 

Unknown to me, while he was posting in my chat, he was also live streaming.... live streaming my stream, while making heavily sexualized jokes to his chat. This went on daily for a month, with me clueless to his "co-streaming my stream, while he chatted in my chat.

September 19, 2018.... he raided my channel with 712 raiders. The raid message was "deserved to be raped".

I blocked most of the raiders.

The next day, they returned. The raid message was "kill eelkat".

I blocked most of the raiders.

The next day, they returned. Some raided with the message "deserved to be raped", others with "kill eelkat".

The raids went on daily.

Yes, the streamer was blocked. He started doing "YouTube style" raids, of just posting the link to my channel in his chat and everyone clicked the link and arrived.

I continued to ban them.

They created throwaway accounts as fast as I banned them.

The attack was baffling because these people were accusing me of every sex perversion under the sun. And yet, I am asexual and sex is not a part of my life at all.

It was clear that someone was spreading sex rumors and sex lies about me, but who and why I did not know.

These people were enraged. They were fundamental Christians with a burning desire to murder everyone in the sex industry, and had somehow got it into their heads that I was what most of them termed "a BDSM Dominatrix with bondage fetish".

It was a terrifying and chaotic onslaught of confusion. I simply could not understand what was motivating them in their hatred or how they had come to such wild sexual conclusions about me and who I was.

I had 7,000+ followers back then.

The raiders went to my follower list and clicked through to every one of my followers and started harassing them. They sent death threats to my followers, telling my followers to unfollow me or else. 

I found out this was happening because some of my followers contacted me and told me what the "deserved to be raped" raiders were doing to them. Several followers sent me messages saying they were unfollowing because they were scared for their families.

By October 2018 I had 135 followers, down from 7,000 just a few weeks prior.

November 10, 2018, I did the thing I never wanted to do... 4 years after receiving the invite to join affiliate, I accepted the affiliate onboarding... I had qualified for affiliate my 3rd month of streaming, but had not wanted to have streaming as an income source, didn't want to deal with additional IRS tax forms... so remained not an affiliate for 4 years... but because the deserved to be raped raiders were out of control, and no matter how fast I banned them or how many I banned, their throwaway accounts just kept multiplying. It was like every single one of them had 100+ backup accounts. 

November 10, 2018, I finally accepted the affiliate invite, so I could set my chat to subscriber-only. It was the only way to keep the deserve to be raped raiders out of my chat. But there was no way to keep them from harassing my followers, not while Twitch had a public follower list.

February 2019... the big attack happened... 5 men with guns arrived at my dad's apartment building... you know the rest... if you don't, full details are on several panels of my profile here. You had to scroll past at least one of them to get to this panel.

But... I did not yet know what ThingyChan was doing, or that she was the evil spinstress behind the Deserve to be Raped Raids.

For those asking if I'm ever going to return to Twitch streaming... I don't know at this point. I'm sick of the harassment. 

It's been 2 years since I last did a stream when ThingyChan DID NOT send her group of shithead dipshits to my chat to chant "deserved to be raped" and "kill eelkat".... she has done it with 712 of my streams so far and blocking her and her 800 dipshit cultist followers do no good because they create new throwaway accounts as fast as I block and ban them.

That was bad enough, but she also made 200+ VODs each 4 to 7 hours long, that do nothing but spread highly sexualized malicious lies about me, in which she made the false accusation calling me a "bondage freak", a "BDSM dominatrix", and claiming I had a "foot fetish". 

Her running gag memes on Discord are out of control, and not having a Discord myself, I was unaware of them. She started a trend, where if anyone, anywhere, talking about anything, said the word "BDSM", "bondage" or "foot fetish", everyone who read it was to reply in the comments below it "just like EelKat". 

Additionally, she built up this massive post-written-rpg-fan-fiction of me, while claiming it was 100% true, depicting me as a whip carrying, pleather wearing, BDSM dominatrix, strip dancer, porn star, who own a gang bang house for men to pay money to be tortured by me.

This went on for 2 full years on Discord before I found out about it, and spanned over 2,000+ Discord posts, JUST WRITTEN BY HER, and not including the many, many, many TENS OF THOUSANDS of posts written by her fans, including her 150+ of which where she used the line: "EelKat is a cunt for liking that pussy Avallac'h". 

One of the worst things she did, was to take the horrifying sexual, child abuse I suffered through at the hands of my uncles, and take word for word, line by line, EVERYTHING my uncles dd to me as a child, and make memes of Avallac'h doing those things to Ciri, knowing full well Avallac'h and Ciri and my favorite characters and that my obsession with Avallac'h is in part psychiatric prescribe therapy to use as a coping mechanism for dealing with the abuse I went through at the hands of my pedophile uncles.

On Twitch, she made an active stalking habit of finding very-pro-fundy-Christian groups, telling them her wild sex lies about me, working them into violent attack mode frenzies, and then siccing them on my channel chanting in my chat the message "deserve to be raped" and "kill eelkat". This went on from August 2018.

The worst thing though was sending 5 gang rapists with guns to my house. They totaled 3 cars including my Dazzling Razzberry, raped 2 military wives in the apartment next door to mine, killed a 10 year old boy, beat up and hospitalized 3 elderly men including my 82 year old dad who they put in the hospital with a ruptured kidney, and did $230,000 in damages to our landlord's apartment building, resulting in the city condemning the building, making 28 families homeless, which is why my family moved February 2019.

For the longest time, I was baffled and puzzled by the wild hate that was daily posted in my Twitch chat, from people who were clearly being sent to my channel, pre-worked up, and in a mass hoard, but I could not understand who was sending them or why.

I discovered ThingyChan as being the source of the harassment, on October 21, 2019, when I saw one of her live streams, where she was making a 3d model of a character who she titled "Bjorn The Bondage Freak Just Like EelKat". I had started watching the stream, to find out why my name was in the title. I watched for 3 hours while she and OutSideLane, another streamer on a multi-stream, and 37 members in her chat, and as many more in his chat, in total over 90 people, spent the entirety of the stream talking about my supposed BDSM bondage sex life and how they should make the 3D model Bjorn do the things I supposedly did.

The other streamer suddenly stopped talking and told ThingyChan:  "EelKat's in your viewer list, let's take this to Discord" at which point they ended the multi stream.

So, I went to Discord to see what moving it to Discord meant and that's when I found the 2 year long running gag, the 2,000+ posts, and the 200+ VODs.

Among the VODs was one that she did on my birthday August 13, 2019, that was a JackBox stream, and was fully devoted to making 5 hours of lewd, sexualized jokes about me and Avallac'h, and had over 300 people in chat joining in.

When I contacted her to ask why she was doing this... her answer was: "Because it's fun!", "It's just a joke!" and "Besides, retarded cunts don't belong on Twitch".

Jokes are funny. Nothing about what she did is funny. Everything about what she did was mean and hurtful.

And jokes don't cause harm. Two women were raped. A boy died. 3 elderly men were hospitalized. 3 cars were totaled. 28 families were made homeless. The landlord lost his business.

Those are some pretty BIG side effects for "just a joke".

What she did was mean, cruel, and far from harmless.

She has taken her "meme joke" harassment to levels of mind boggling extremes and, I'm just sick of it. She is out of control and she needs to stop.

I would like to be able to stream on Twitch without this psychotic bitch and her equally psychotic followers harassing me, each and every single stream.

I'm not bothering her, I don't know why she is bothering me.

I want her to leave me alone.

Evil is as evil does.

This is a perfect example of an evil person, doing evil things.

Bullies don't care, because bullies are mean and mean people care about no one.

These people are very, very, very mean.

Over the course of 2 years she made 200+ very lewd sexualized streams about me, calling me a BDSM dominatrix and built up this huge fictional fantasy fanfiction world about me that she wrote across 2,000+ posts on Discord... but I was unaware any of this was happening for the 2 years she did it... 

Well, 2 years ago, a large partnered streamer started hate raids on my channel and every day would raid my channel with 700+ people with the raid message "deserve to be raped" and they would post a lot of horrible sexual posts in my chat, being very "pro-Christian" while calling me a whore and a prostitute and saying I deserved to be raped to death. Banning them did no good, as they created new throwaway accounts every day. 

I finally had to set my chat to emote only. But I was clueless as to why they were doing it, and why they would say me, an elderly (70s) asexual, who dresses with modesty and hijab, was a whore and prostitute. 

As time went by, other streamers did similar outraged attacks on my channel, again accusing me of being things like a sex worker or an erotica author, etc. 

This started in August 2018 and continued until October 2019 when I one day ran across the streamer who was making the VODs about me. 

I was horrified. 

I went back and watched 200+ of her VODs and she'd made 5 hour streams about me every day starting April 2018! 

And then I found her 2,000+ Discord posts! 

She claimed to be my best friend and supposedly was "giving the real scoop" on my life! 

She was a 24 year old in Portugal and I'm in my 70s in America! 

It turns out, she had 800+ "devoted fans" of her "stories" about me, and had them 100% total convinced I was the deviated sex fiend she was telling people I was, thus why so many people were showing up outraged at my channel! 

For the longest time I couldn't understand why people, total strangers were showing up at my channel in these wild outrages angry at some wild sinful sex life they were convinced I had... but then when I finally saw the 200+ VODs and read the 2,000+ Discord post stories she had made about me, now I understand why people thought I was some deviated immoral sex worker. 

I contacted the girl and asked her why she was doing this, spreading these horrible lies about me, she said "because it's fun, and besides, retards don't belong on Twitch" (retard referencing the fact that I have Autism aka Kanner's Syndrome). 

The whole thing is very upsetting to me and still a year later, she still makes the streams and Discord posts lying about me and spreading horrible rumors about me, and people still arrive at my channel calling me all sorts of bad names and