IMPORTANT UPDATE:

Due to the murder of my family and the resulting court cases, police investigations, and FBI investigations, I no longer have time to daily update this website.

Likewise ALL novel, short story, and article writing projects are on hiatus.

All book releases, book signings, workshops, and convention appearances for 2015 (and unknown amount of time after) are on hold while the murder investigation of my family is ongoing.

Writing advice for the worldbuilding, character creation, and other writing how to articles are on hold.

From now on, the bulk of updates here will be about the investigation into the murder of my family.

No, NOT just THIS author website, not JUST the EelKat pename, not just self published books: ALL 15 (fifteen) of my penames are on hiatus, that includes traditional published books as well, newspaper reporting jobs, editing jobs, my work for Harlequin Romance Novels, my work for Disney... EVERYTHING is on hiatus. Every publishing house I work for, every series I write, every penname I write under: they are ALL on hiatus, ALL projects.

There is NOTHING being published under ANY penname, not for ANY series, not for ANY publisher, from 2015 onward. EVERYTHING is on hold due to the murder of my family. I do not know when or even if, any of the projects will be restarted or finished.

Yes, BOTH the magazines I owned are indefinitely shut down because of this as well, with no plans for either magazine to return. The publishing house I own is also closed to submissions from now on, we will no longer be publishing anything. It is unlikely we will reopen the publishing house either.

All book signing tours, workshops, letures, PAX events, ComicCon events, carnival/festival/state fair/car show events are also canceled. I will not be attending ANY of them. If a venue still has my name listed as a guest/speaker/etc it is because they've not yet removed it. I WILL NOT be there, no matter where it is! 

EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE, IS CANCELED!

The ONLY thing continuing from this point on, is THIS website, where I'll post updates on the murder investigation, hopefully every week, but, you know how it is when 10 members of your family are beheaded, it's kind of difficult to have a schedule for anything anymore.








Welcome to the New
SpaceDock13!





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Here... have a banana... internet marketing "guru" Tom Addams thought we didn't have enough of them around here, so, gotta add some more...

heck... take an entire bunch of bananas...




STOP HERE!

It's highly recommended you turn this video on before scrolling down further.

Then once it's playing, right click the video, select loop...

Then continue scrolling down the page...

Watch the dancing girls while the song plays... they dance in time to the beat of this song... it's utterly hypnotic.

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and you might as well take some some banana bread while you're here...

Did you know I actually had a gif of fabulously flamboyant sheep?


Sheeeeeeeeeeeeep!

Let's get some dancing girls for those sheep!

Flamboyant Nipples!

dancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing 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Careful... you never know when those dancing girls may be gay transvestite Elf wizards with flamboyant nipples...


here...

have a gay transvestite Elf wizard with flamboyant nipples...

Since the bulk of my novel readers are in Japan, yet the bulk of my site viewers are in Old Orchard Beach and have never read my books... I'll add a note here to say that not only is Quaraun a Yaoi Twinkie Uke, he's also an Asexual Futura and is pregnant in 2 of the novels. Yep. MPreg. He's pregnant in Summoner of Darkness and again in Picking the Perfect Pickle, btw. 

For those not in the know: Quaraun is a male High Elf who was killed by a female JellyFish Demon that is now living inside his hollowed out body. He's a female demon possessing the body of a male Elf.

Yaoi = Gay Romance

Futura = a character with both male and female genitals.

And what's a Cock and ball torture, bi-sexual, multi-gendered, Twinkie Uke without a Seme Dom...

can't have the gay transvestite Elf wizard, without the sadistic Unicorn with the wizard testicle obsession now can we?

here...

have the sadistic Unicorn with a wizard testicle obsession...

Yes, he has sex with horses and gets pregnant by them to give birth to tentacled unicorns. 

Quaraun, a male Elf, is GhoulSpawn's mother for those who don't know. GhoulSpawn being the half-Elf/half-Demon with an unhealthy love of sheep.

Quaraun, Unicorn, and GhoulSpawn spend an inordinate amount of time talking about bananas, pickles, kiwis, mangos, cherries, apricots, and fruit salad.

They, and 13 talking black cats from outer space, live in a pink penis shaped lighthouse known as "Black Tower"... which you can now see painted on the 12 foot flag in my driveway...

The Quaraun series is Pink Humor Satire that makes fun of the Fabio Romance novels of the 1980s with their over use of euphemisms and attempts to turn everything into a sex symbol while still containing no sex scenes and being listed as Erotica. (The 1980s were weird like that.)

I love writing Hentai Monster Porn. Nothing better. You can literally have your characters do anything and still make sense.




that music video should still be playing... 

Let's toss in some more of those gay transvestite wizard dancing girls with their Flamboyant Nipples...

and SHEEEEEEEEEP!

Flamboyant Nipples!

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And let's not forget those dancing pickles...

here...

have a pickle...

yeah, you know where to stick it.

dancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing 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bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing banana

and broccoli... can't forget the broccoli!

dancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing 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Might as well toss you an entire fruit salad...

dancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing bananadancing 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We here at EelKat.com don't like the Ku Klux Klan or any one who supports their domestic terrorist hate crimes in Old Orchard Beach...and that's what this is about.

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