EelKat Wendy C Allen - Dark Fantasy Author

#UPDATE: January 6, 2021:
To all of you who are sending me video clips this morning and asking "Is this your family?"...

To answer your questions...

* Yes... my relatives ARE on every news station in every country of the world today, yes they did ORGANIZE the attack on the Capitol Building... and I am horrified by it.

* No, before you guys sent me the video footage clips, I was unaware the attack had happened, I do not own a TV and do not seek out news reports on the internet, so had you not sent me those clips I would never have known the attack had happened at all

* Yes, many members of my extended-family were involved in organizing the attack on Washington D.C.; one of my aunts claims to be the organizer, she is now wanted by the FBI for questioning

* Yes, I can see 1 uncle, 2 aunts, and 23 1st cousins in those pictures and news reports.

* Yes, the shooter is the high priest cousin you saw posting gun photos and death threats on my FaceBook, Twitter, and Twitch chat

* Yes, that is the 2 cousins who founded the group "The Loyalist White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan More Loyal Than The Loyal White Knights", in the gif/memes trashing reporter cameras and jumping on said cameras 

* YES, that IS the uncle who was paying the Discord tittie streamer $500 a month to stage the "deserve to be raped raids" on my Twitch channel 

* Yes, that uncle, 2 aunts, and 23 cousins ARE all members of Heaven's Gate and were party to the original UFO cult kool-aid murder suicide that killed 39 people in 1997

* No, I do not support anything they do or have done; it's been more than 30 years since I last saw, talked to, or interacted with any of them

#And please, stop forwarding video footage and news reports to me. I want nothing to do with those jackasses. We share DNA, not ideologies. They absolutely disgust me.

* If you were there, please be aware that 4 of them are now bragging on their social medias that they currently have Covid-19 and that they were spitting on police and government officials during the attack on the Capitol Building; yes it is confirmed they DO actually have Covid-19... 9 members of their immediate family have died in the past month and is what instigated them to join the mob at D.C.

* Yes, all of them are wanted by the FBI... if you have any information about ANY of their crimes INCLUDING today's attack on Washington D.C., do NOT send it to me, send it to the FBI agent in charge of the case: 

#FBI Agent Andy Drewer out of the Portland, Maine FBI office is in charge of the investigation. If you have information about the case, give it to him not me. He can be reached @ +1-(207)-774-9322

This whole thing is very distressing for me. I do not like the kind of attention that gets put on ME because I happen to be related to THEM.

Far too many people harass my family, online and offline, because of these dipshits in our rather distant family tree.

I prefer to stay out of the public eye and deeply dislike being pulled into the paparazzi spotlight every time this group of lunatics pulls one of these ridiculous terrorist attack stunts.

It was very distressing for me to wake up this morning to find email, and every contact method on every social media, packs full of thousands of questions, links, and forwards, all asking me if that was my family that was being plastered across every news station on the planet.

It was bad enough to learn a terrorist attack had happened and it was even worse to learn it was yet again my uncles behind it.

Though I can not say I'm surprised to learn these jackass dipshits I have to share DNA with were involved. This certainly isn't the first terrorist attack they took part in.

Considering this 1 uncle, 2 aunts, & 23 cousins, all who took part in Heaven's Gate murder of 39 people in 1997, 1 of whom built the bomb for 2013's Boston Marathon, and 2 of whom founded the Loyalist White Knights... were involved in this attack too... I hope they get life in prison, they fucking deserve it.


#UPDATE: January 9, 2020....

Good news, one of them was just arrested in Florida. He's the guy all over Twitter today, waving to security cameras while stealing Nancy Pelosi's lecture pedestal. My relatives are insane. I hope he never gets out.

At least he can't post death threats and rape threats in my Twitch chat anymore. I hope they arrest them all.

Why do I have to share DNA with these psychotic lunatics?

You can support your political party without being a violent, crazed, psychopathic terroist, you know.

#And random thought...

You know... all the people saying Trump supporters should stop inciting violence and go read their Bible, clearly have never read the Bible and have no clue how much violence and genocide God commands in the Old Testament... shouldn't it be the Trumpies need LESS Bible influence? Isn't it the Bible that inspired them to be violent in the first place?

And you want to know something else...

26 of those people now arrested for attacking the Capitol, had ALREADY been reported, in October 2019, for planning an attack on the government...

I know beause I filed that report on 3 uncles, 2 auns, and 23 cousins when they started building bombs and bought 4,000 asult rifles, while claiming they were building an army.

This attack was a long time in the planning and couldhave been prevented and the FBI knew about it 2 years ago.

But hey... guess what... the FBI knew about the Heaven's Gate murder 8 MONTHS before those same 26 people murdered 39 people under the shadow of Hale-Bop... AND the FBI knew in 2012, 5 months ahead of time that these same 26 people were building bombs for the Boston Marathon.

Same 26 people over and over again. This time some of them actually got caught... but the Heaven's Gate crew, has 4,000 members in Maine, Florida, Mississippi, Wyomin, Colorado, and Nova Scotia.

They are gaining members all the time. They claim they are building God's army, they claim Trump is "the God-King" God's form on earth, they also believe he is a shapeshifting reptilian alien, and they claim to be waiting for a mothership that will fly in the shadow of Comet Wormwood.

They claim "when the Trump of jubilie sounds" they will be ready to kill all who oppose them, because they believe they are God's Army and they do not fear death, for they also believe that through death, they "will be changed in the twinkling of an eye" and transformed into mighty arch angels to enact vengange of all who oppose them.

They embrace death, to the point, like they did in 1997, they will kill themselves if they have to, and take everyone around them with them.

Heaven's Gate should be feared and they should be in prison, not building gallows on the front law of the Capitaol building while trying to hang the Vice President.

How many decades will Heaven's Gate's members be allowed to kill and main unbridled? They are terrorists and NEED to be arrested and put in prison, BEFORE they do what they are planning and unleash a bomb that will kill every one "East of the Mississippi" as they put it.

My uncle David is dangerous, and now with his brother Bruce, leader of Heaven's Gate since 1997, dead from Covid19, David's crew has become far more dangerous than they ever were.

This attack they staged on the Capitol, it's not the end, it was just them firing a warning shot of something far bigger yet to come.

They need to be stopped BEFORE they kill more people.

How many times will this same group be allowed to kill over and over again, before someone stops them?


1 uncle, 2 aunts, & 23 cousins were there; they are the leaders of Heaven's Gate AND the Loyalist White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan; they have 4,000 members armed with assault rifles, ready to march on command, and that's JUST the group in Palmyra, Maine - they NEED to be stopped... this post they made on Twitter is NOT a joke... they WILL march Jan 19... they MUST be stopped... Jan 6 was just a warning shot

UPDATE: January 14, 2021
I received a deeply troubling question today... let's answer it...

I received a deeply troubling question today... let's answer it...


*if someone asks me to do something in exchange for a donation...? I stream, and today someone I've never seen before sent me a message on discord asking me if I want [insert ridiculous amount of money here]. I of course replied asking what for, and the guy replies saying 'complete 25 challenges, for example #1 would be pulling a funny face. If you complete all 25 challenges then I donate the money.' Oh, and he also sent me screenshots of what I assume is supposed to be proof that he's dono'd tons of money to others before. This seems sus AF to me. Should I just assume it's fake / he'll ask me to do something weird? What do?*


You've heard of the recent attacks on the American Capitol, right?

Have you NOT also heard about the 26 Twitch streamers who have found their name's on the FBI's no fly list even though they live in Europe and have never been to America?

Have you looked at today's day January 14 vs the date of the next 2 planned attacks, January 17 and January 20?

I doubt you'd ask this question if you HAD heard of what happened, so let me me summarize:

A group of terrorists spent several months planning an attack on Washington D.C. They took to intermingling with election rallies, so no one would suspect them. 

Meanwhile, online, they sought out a way to make 26 fake IDs for their group to use on attack day (January 6).

They ended up contacting 26 Twitch streamers the genders and approximate ages of the 26 people they had in their group going to D.C. 

Each streamer was sent an offer for being donated $500 in exchange for doing things. The streamers thought it seemed innocent enough and was easy money, so did it.

The reason for the $500 amount, was PayPal requires additional verification on large amounts, meaning, they were given the REAL NAMES AND HOME ADDRESSES of those 26 streamers. They next took those names and made 26 fake IDs using the names and addresses of those 26 streamers.

They used those fake IDs January 6 at D.C. and now as of Jan 7, those 26 streamers found their names on the FBI's no-fly list.

Those 26 terrorists, tossed the fake IDs and used their real IDs to leave D.C. and made their way back to Florida, Mississippi, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Maine, successfully returning home, while hundreds of other rally attendants found themselves unable to get on planes.

Given what those 26 did just before Jan 6, I would question anyone asking something similar to any streamer, right now, this close to Jan 17.

I highly recommend you report them to the FBI as possibly connected to the Jan 17 attack. **[](**

The 26 people in question by the way... my uncle David, his wife Luci, his sister Barbie Jean, and 23 of their children, grandchildren, and great grand children... only one of whom so far has been arrested... the one who stole Nancy Pelosi's pulpit. On their way home to Palmyra, the rest showed up in my driveway January 11, to chant "All hail God King Trump" while bragging how they didn't get caught and outwitted the FBI and are going back to D.C. on Jan 17 and Jan 20.

Chances are VERY HIGH that the man contacting you was David's son Shem, who is the one who contacted the others prior to the Jan 6 attack, or so he bragged on Jan 11, while shooting off his rifils in my driveway, from a red 1980s vintage Jeep Cherokee.

Beware of the Atwaters, the Halls, the Cyrs, and the Johnsons... they ain't sending you money unless they are planning on using you to take the fall for some crime they plan to commit and blame on you. You'll go to jail and they'll walk free, like they always do, like they've been doing since the 1950s.

... ..............................
..UPDATE: January 14, 2021...
...NEW BAN RULES ADDED TO THE CHANNEL... ..............................
...From today forward ALL USERNAMES ending in "Chan" are to be banned on sight...
...I do not want any member of the 4Chan, 7Chan, Anon, QAnon or any similar terrorist organizations near my channel...

#As of this discovery a new policy is now in place on my channel.. all mods are to **IMMEDIATELY BAN** anyone and everyone they see with the word "Chan" at the end of their name, wither that user has ever visited my channel or not.

I want my mods to take ANY user they see on ANY channel ANYWHERE on Twitch to just ban those usernames from my channel as soon as they see them.

#From today forwards ALL USERNAMES ending in "Chan" are to be banned on sight.

#I do not want any member of this terrorist organization near my channel.

#The Chans are horrible people and I want nothing to do with any of them.

#Anyone found to be a supporter of ANY Chan is to be banned from my channel, even if they do not have "Chan" at the end of their username.

The "Chan" movement... OMG! They are fucking psychotic extremists. I had no clue what "Chan" meant or why people put it at the end of their username. Knowing what I know now and looking at the fact that the ringleader behind the 3 year long attack on my Twitch channel has the word "Chan" at the end of her username, the wild sex rumors she spreads about me FINALLY make sense.

Today one of my mods sent me the following message:

*"I noticed the girl trying to cancel you has "Chan" at the end of her username, as do many of her followers. I also noticed your confusion over her attacks and I wonder, do you know what "chan" means or why streamers put it at the end of their username? Everyone who has "Chan" at the end of their username is a witch hunting channel, it is how they identify themselves. It means they are extremist radical trolls from 4chan. There is even a wiki devoted to the "Chan Movement". Here, you'll want to read this. **[](** and this **[](**Twitter has started to ban anyone using "chan" at the end of their username because is identifies the user as connected with white supremacy hate groups. She's a QAnon terrorist and proud of it, that's why she has "chan" at the end of her name. That's why she is working with your uncles. She helped them plan the attack on the Capitol. She's a QAnon member. That's why she has the word "chan" at the end of her username. Every QAnon member does that. I didn't realize you had never heard of QAnon or 4Chan until I saw your Tweet last night. I'm s sorry. I thought you knew that is what she was. I would have messaged you sooner about this if I had known you didn't know what QAnon was. Also "Thingy" is a slang word, it means "a child's vagina" people put that in their username to signify they are supporters of child rape. These are really bad people attacking your channel. They are the same people who just attacked America's Capital. When they are chanting "ThingyChan" in your chat, it's a QAnon secret code word, it's another word for rape, it's a rape threat, it's them bypassing the NightBot ban of the word rape. It means they are threatening to gather up 4Chan members to rape you. 4Chan QAnon's use secret code words to bypass chat bans because they know most people don't know what the code words mean. It's like a Morse Code that only they know."*

Here is what the Wiki has to say:

>>>>*"4chan is an anonymous English-language imageboard website. Launched by Christopher "moot" Poole in October 2003, the site hosts boards dedicated to a wide variety of topics, from anime and manga to video games, music, literature, fitness, politics, and sports, among others. Registration is not available and users typically post anonymously; posting is ephemeral, as threads receiving recent replies are "bumped" to the top of their respective board and old threads are deleted as new ones are created. As of November 2020, 4chan receives more than 20 million unique monthly visitors, with more than 900,000 posts made daily."*



>>>>*"The site has been described as a hub of Internet subculture, with its community being influential in the formation of prominent Internet memes, such as lolcats, Rickrolling, and rage comics, as well as hacktivist and political movements, such as Anonymous and the alt-right. 4chan has often been the subject of media attention as a source of controversies, including the coordination of pranks and harassment against websites and Internet users, and the posting of illegal and offensive content. The Guardian once summarized the 4chan community as "lunatic, juvenile ... brilliant, ridiculous and alarming""*



>>>>*"Before the end of 2003, several new anime-related boards were added, including /h/ (Hentai), /c/ (Anime/Cute), /d/ (Hentai/Alternative), /w/ (Wallpapers/Anime), /y/ (Yaoi), and /a/ (Anime). Additionally, a lolicon board was created at /l/ (Lolikon),[26] but was disabled following the posting of genuine child pornography and ultimately deleted in October 2004, after threats of legal action."*



>>>>*"On November 17, 2018, it was announced that the site would be split into two, with the work-safe boards moved to a new domain,, while the NSFW boards would remain on the domain. In a series of posts on the topic, Nishimura explained that the split was due to 4chan being blacklisted by most advertising companies, and that the new 4channel domain would allow for the site to receive advertisements by mainstream ad providers."*



>>>>*"/pol/ ("Politically Incorrect") is 4chan's political discussion board. A stickied thread on its front page states that the board's intended purpose is "discussion of news, world events, political issues, and other related topics." /pol/ was created in October 2011 as a rebranding of 4chan's news board, /new/, which was deleted that January for a high volume of racist discussion."*



>>>>*"Although there had previously been a strong left-libertarian contingent to 4chan activists, there was a gradual rightward turn on 4chan's politics board in the early-mid 2010s. The board quickly attracted posters with a political persuasion that later would be described with a new term, the alt-right. Media sources have characterized /pol/ as predominantly racist and sexist, with many of its posts taking an explicitly neo-Nazi bent. The Southern Poverty Law Center regards /pol/'s rhetorical style as widely emulated by white supremacist websites such as The Daily Stormer; the Stormer's editor, Andrew Anglin, concurred. /pol/ was where screenshots of Trayvon Martin's hacked social media accounts were initially posted. The board's users have started antifeminist, homophobic, transphobic, and anti-Arab Twitter campaigns."*



>>>>*"The users of /r9k/ built upon by then popular 4chan memes "epic win" and "fail" to group the human population into "alphas" or stereotypical well-adjusted popular people and "betas" or stereotypical geek-ish social rejects, self-identifying with the latter. It became a popular gathering place for the controversial online incel community. The "beta uprising" or "beta rebellion" meme, the idea of taking revenge against women, jocks and others perceived as the cause of incels' problems, was popularized on the sub-section. It gained more traction on the forum following the Umpqua Community College shooting, where it is believed that the shooter, Chris Harper-Mercer, also warned people not to go to school in the Northwest hours prior to the shooting as users encouraged him. The perpetrator of the Toronto van attack referenced 4chan and an incel rebellion in a Facebook post he made prior to the attack while praising self-identified incel Elliot Rodger, the killer behind the 2014 Isla Vista killings. He claims to have talked with both Harper-Mercer and Rodger on Reddit and 4chan and believes that he was part of a "beta uprising", also posting a message on 4chan about his intention the day before his attack."*



>>>>*"Anonymous originated in 2003 on the imageboard 4chan representing the concept of many online and offline community users simultaneously existing as an anarchic, digitized global brain. Anonymous members (known as Anons or QAnons) can be distinguished in public by the wearing of Guy Fawkes masks in the style portrayed in the graphic novel and film V for Vendetta. However, this may not always be the case as some of the collective prefer to instead cover their face without using the well-known mask as a disguise. Some anons also opt to mask their voices through voice changers or text-to-speech programs."*



>>>>*"On January 19, 2012, the U.S. Department of Justice shut down the file-sharing site Megaupload on allegations of copyright infringement. Anons responded with a wave of DDoS attacks on U.S. government and copyright organizations, shutting down the sites for the RIAA, MPAA, Broadcast Music, Inc., and the FBI."*



>>>>*"In the wake of the fatal police shooting of unarmed African-American Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri, "Operation Ferguson"—a hacktivist organization that claimed to be associated with Anonymous—organized cyberprotests against police, setting up a website and a Twitter account to do so. The group promised that if any protesters were harassed or harmed, they would attack the city's servers and computers, taking them offline. City officials said that e-mail systems were targeted and phones died, while the Internet crashed at the City Hall."*



>>>>*"In March 2016, Anonymous was reported to have declared war on Donald Trump. However, the "Anonymous Official" YouTube channel released a video denouncing #OpTrump as an operation that "goes against everything Anonymous stands for" in reference to censorship and added "we are for everyone letting their voices be heard, even, if the person at hand ... is a monster.""*



>>>>*"In late 2017, QAnon, a pro-Trump group claiming to be the "real" Anonymous, first emerged on 4chan. In response, anti-Trump members of Anonymous warned that QAnon was stealing the collective's branding."*



>>>>*"Since 2009, dozens of people have been arrested for involvement in Anonymous cyberattacks, in countries including the U.S., UK, Australia, the Netherlands, Spain, and Turkey. Anons generally protest these prosecutions and describe these individuals as martyrs to the movement. The July 2011 arrest of LulzSec member Topiary became a particular rallying point, leading to a widespread "Free Topiary" movement."*



>>>>*"QAnon is a disproven and discredited far-right conspiracy theory alleging that a cabal of Satan-worshipping cannibalistic pedophiles is running a global child sex-trafficking ring and plotting against U.S. president Donald Trump, who is fighting the cabal. QAnon also commonly asserts that Trump is planning a day of reckoning known as the "Storm", when thousands of members of the cabal will be arrested. The conspiracy claim is entirely fictitious. QAnon supporters have accused many liberal Hollywood actors, Democratic politicians, and high-ranking government officials of being members of the cabal. They have also claimed that Trump feigned conspiracy with Russians to enlist Robert Mueller to join him in exposing the sex trafficking ring and preventing a coup d'état by Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and George Soros. The QAnon conspiracy theories have been amplified by Russian state-backed troll accounts on social media, as well as Russian state-backed traditional media."*



>>>>*"Although preceded by similar viral conspiracy theories such as Pizzagate,[23][24] which has since become part of QAnon, the conspiracy theory began with an October 2017 post on the anonymous imageboard 4chan by "Q", who was presumably an American individual;[25] it is now more likely that "Q" has become a group of people acting under the same name. A stylometric analysis of Q posts claims to have uncovered that at least two people wrote as "Q" in different periods. Q claimed to be a high-level government official with Q clearance, who has access to classified information involving the Trump administration and its opponents in the United States. NBC News reported that three people took the original Q post and spread it across multiple media platforms to build an Internet following for profit. QAnon was preceded by several similar anonymous 4chan posters, such as FBIAnon, HLIAnon (High-Level Insider), CIAAnon, and WH Insider Anon. Although American in origin, there is now a considerable QAnon movement outside of the United States, particularly in Europe."*



>>>>*"QAnon adherents began appearing at Trump reelection campaign rallies in August 2018. Bill Mitchell, a broadcaster who has promoted QAnon, attended a White House "social media summit" in July 2019. QAnon believers commonly tag their social media posts with the hashtag #WWG1WGA, signifying the motto "Where We Go One, We Go All". At an August 2019 rally, a man warming up the crowd used the QAnon motto, later denying that it was a QAnon reference. This occurred hours after the FBI published a report calling QAnon a potential source of domestic terrorism—the first time the agency had so rated a fringe conspiracy theory. According to analysis by Media Matters for America, as of October 2020, Trump had amplified QAnon messaging at least 265 times by retweeting or mentioning 152 Twitter accounts affiliated with QAnon, sometimes multiple times a day. QAnon followers came to refer to Trump as "Q+""*



>>>>*"The number of QAnon adherents is unclear as of October 2020, but the group maintains a large online following. In June 2020, Q exhorted followers to take a "digital soldiers oath", and many did, using the Twitter hashtag #TakeTheOath.[42] In July 2020, Twitter banned thousands of QAnon-affiliated accounts and changed its algorithms to reduce the conspiracy theory's spread.[43] A Facebook internal analysis reported in August found millions of followers across thousands of groups and pages; Facebook acted later that month to remove and restrict QAnon activity,[44][45] and in October it said it would ban the conspiracy theory from its platform altogether. Followers had also migrated to dedicated message boards such as EndChan and 8chan (now rebranded as "8kun"), where they organized to wage information warfare in an attempt to influence the 2020 United States presidential election.[47] Following Trump's loss to Joe Biden in the election, QAnon beliefs became a part of attempts to overturn the results and Trump's loss, culminating in the storming of the United States Capitol, leading to a further crackdown on QAnon-affiliated content on social media."*



>>>>*"Anonymous is a decentralized international activist/hacktivist collective/movement that is widely known for its various cyber attacks against several governments, government institutions and government agencies, corporations, and the Church of Scientology."*



>>>>*"Project Chanology (also called Operation Chanology) was a protest movement against the practices of the Church of Scientology by members of Anonymous, a leaderless Internet-based group. The project was started in response to the Church of Scientology's attempts to remove material from a highly publicized interview with Scientologist Tom Cruise from the Internet in January 2008."*



>>>>*"The project was publicly launched in the form of a video posted to YouTube, "Message to Scientology", on January 21, 2008. The video states that Anonymous views Scientology's actions as Internet censorship, and asserts the group's intent to "expel the church from the Internet". This was followed by distributed denial-of-service attacks (DDoS), and soon after, black faxes, prank calls, and other measures intended to disrupt the Church of Scientology's operations. In February 2008, the focus of the protest shifted to legal methods, including nonviolent protests and an attempt to get the Internal Revenue Service to investigate the Church of Scientology's tax-exempt status in the United States."*



>>>>*"Reactions from the Church of Scientology regarding the protesters' actions have varied. Initially, one spokesperson stated that members of the group "have got some wrong information" about Scientology. Another referred to the group as a group of "computer geeks". Later, the Church of Scientology started referring to Anonymous as "cyberterrorists" perpetrating "religious hate crimes" against the church."*



>>>>*"Members of Project Chanology say their main goal is "to enlighten the Church of Scientology (CoS) by any means necessary.""*



>>>>*"Project Chanology began its campaign by organizing and delivering a series of denial-of-service attacks against Scientology websites and flooding Scientology centers with prank calls and black faxes. The group was successful in taking down local and global Scientology websites intermittently from January 18, 2008 until at least January 25, 2008."*



>>>>*"Protesters in Boston, Los Angeles, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Edinburgh, London, and other cities worldwide, wore Guy Fawkes masks modeled after the 2005 film V for Vendetta. Guy Fawkes was an English Catholic executed for a 1605 attempt to destroy the House of Lords. In V for Vendetta, a rebel against a near-future fascist regime uses the mask in his public appearances and distributes many of its copies to the population to enable mass protests."*



>>>>*"According to The Washington Post, "the site's users have managed to pull off some of the highest-profile collective actions in the history of the Internet."*



>>>>*"Users of 4chan and other websites "raided" Hal Turner by launching DDoS attacks and prank calling his phone-in radio show during December 2006 and January 2007. The attacks caused Turner's website to go offline. This cost thousands of dollars of bandwidth bills according to Turner. In response, Turner sued 4chan, 7chan, and other websites; however, he lost his plea for an injunction and failed to receive letters from the court."*



>>>>*"KTTV Fox 11 aired a report on Anonymous, calling them a group of "hackers on steroids", "domestic terrorists", and collectively an "Internet hate machine" on July 26, 2007.[137] Slashdot founder Rob Malda posted a comment made by another Slashdot user, Miang, stating that the story focused mainly on users of "4chan, 7chan and 420chan". Miang claimed that the report "seems to confuse /b/ raids and motivational poster templates with a genuine threat to the American public", arguing that the "unrelated" footage of a van exploding shown in the report was to "equate anonymous posting with domestic terror"."*



>>>>*"In May 2009, members of the site attacked YouTube, posting pornographic videos on the site. A 4chan member acknowledged being part of the attack, telling BBC News that it was in response to YouTube "deleting music"."*



>>>>*"On October 18, 2006, the Department of Homeland Security warned National Football League officials in Miami, New York City, Atlanta, Seattle, Houston, Oakland, and Cleveland about a possible threat involving the simultaneous use of dirty bombs at stadiums. The threat claimed that the attack would be carried out on October 22, the final day of the Muslim holy month of Ramadan."*



>>>>*"On November 29, 2010, Ali Saad, a 19-year-old, was arrested and had his home raided by the FBI for posting child pornography and death threats on 4chan. Ali had first visited 4chan "a week before [the FBI raid] happened". He admitted to downloading about 25 child pornography images from 4chan."*



>>>>*"Collin Campbell, a U.S. Navy Machinist's Mate, was arrested in February 2011 after a fellow seaman found child pornography on his iPhone that he downloaded entirely from 4chan."*



>>>>*"In January 2011, Matthew Riskin Bean, a 20-year-old man from New Jersey, was sentenced to 45 days in prison for cyberbullying on 4chan."*



>>>>*"According to court documents filed on November 5, 2014, there were images posted to 4chan that appeared to be of a murder victim. The body was discovered in Port Orchard, Washington, after the images were posted. The posts were accompanied by the text: "Turns out it's way harder to strangle someone to death than it looks on the movies." A later post said: "Check the news for Port Orchard, Washington, in a few hours. Her son will be home from school soon. He'll find her, then call the cops. I just wanted to share the pics before they find me." The victim was Amber Lynn Coplin, aged 30. The suspect, 33-year-old David Michael Kalac, surrendered to police in Oregon later the same day; he was charged with second-degree murder involving domestic violence. Kalac was convicted in April 2017 and was sentenced to 82 years in prison the following month."*



>>>>*"On July 14, 2019, 17-year-old Bianca Devins was murdered by 21-year-old Brandon Clark of Utica, New York after the two went to a concert together. The suspect took pictures of the victim's bloodied deceased body and posted it to Discord and his own Instagram page. The photos were widely shared on Instagram and other sites, particularly on 4chan where many users mocked and celebrated her death, saying she deserved it and praising the killer while depicting Devins as a manipulative young woman. Devins had developed a small following online and was a 4chan user herself."*



>>>>*"Although preceded by similar viral conspiracy theories such as Pizzagate,[23][24] which has since become part of QAnon, the conspiracy theory began with an October 2017 post on the anonymous imageboard 4chan by "Q", who was presumably an American individual;[25] it is now more likely that "Q" has become a group of people acting under the same name.[26][27] A stylometric analysis of Q posts claims to have uncovered that at least two people wrote as "Q" in different periods.[28][29] Q claimed to be a high-level government official with Q clearance, who has access to classified information involving the Trump administration and its opponents in the United States.[30] NBC News reported that three people took the original Q post and spread it across multiple media platforms to build an Internet following for profit. QAnon was preceded by several similar anonymous 4chan posters, such as FBIAnon, HLIAnon (High-Level Insider), CIAAnon, and WH Insider Anon.[31] Although American in origin, there is now a considerable QAnon movement outside of the United States, particularly in Europe."*



Those are just a few highlights of what the Wiki has to say about the Chan Movement and why so many users on Twitch and Twitter tac the word "chan" to the end of their username.

If you want to read the full aticle to find out all the horrors of this horrendouse group of terrorists, here is the link:

* **[](**

* **[](**

* **[](**

As of this discovery a new policy is now in place on my channel.. all mods are to **IMMEDIATLY BAN** any one and everyone they see with the word "Chan" at the end of their name, wither that user has ever visited my channel or not.

I want my mods to take ANY user they see on ANY channel ANYWHERE on Twitch to just ban those usernames from my channel as soon as they see them.

#From today forwards ALL USERNAMES ending in "Chan" are to be banned on sight.

#I do not want any member of this terrorist orgination near my channel.

#The Chans are horrible people and I want nothing to do with any of them.

#Anyone found to be a supporter of ANY Chan is to be banned from my channel, even if they do not have "Chan" at the end of their username.

On a side note... do you remember in June 2016 when a group of crazy protestors showed up in my driveway chanting that my family was "Satan worshiping pedophile cannibals of the Scottish Mafia"? Well, it says on that Wiki:

>>>>*"QAnon is a disproven and discredited far-right conspiracy theory alleging that a cabal of Satan-worshipping cannibalistic pedophiles is running a global child sex-trafficking ring and plotting against U.S. president Donald Trump, who is fighting the cabal."*



Does that me those people in my driveway that day were QAnon members?

Scary... that group included 2 Mormon Bishops, the Old Orchard Beach Town Manager, several motel owners from Old Orchard Beach, an excavation owner in Old Orchard Beach, and 2 Old Orchard Beach Town councillors... uhm... does that mean Old Orchard Beach is infested with QAnon members?

I think I am finally starting to understand the weird accusations that get tossed at me and my family... like being called "Scottish Mafia" when we are not, and being called a "BDSM Dominatrix" when I am not, and being called a "Satan Worshiper" when I am not, or being called "pedophiles' or "cannibals" when we are not.

I never understood these accusations or what the possible source could have been, but I had never heard of QAnon until 2 days ago when Twitter announced they banned 70,000 QAnon members off Twitter, following the terrorist attack in Washington D.C. earlier this week. 

The Tweet my mod was referencing, was a Tweet where I asked "What is QAnon? I never heard of it before."

Okay, so now understand WHERE they got the accusations from, they apparently say those things about everyone. But the question still stands: Why me? Why my family? Why my Twitch channel? How did I become a target for members of such bizarre, psychotically deraged terroist group? 

Also... it says QAnon started in October 2017... but those people who were in my yard, the first time they showed up was April 10, 2015, and they arrived again May 14, 2015, June 12, 2015, September 12, 2015, and each time they showed up the group was bigger. They continued to show up throughout 2016.

Each group was lead by a masked man who always kept his face hidden. The group members called him "Mark" and "Mark Who Needs No Last Name"... he was a tiny elderly man about 5'9" very skinny, and had unkept white hair. He always arrived driving a backhoe, which is the same backhoe that drove over my house August 8, 2013. He was the one seen shooting at me and my family in several livestreams. He was prone to showing up while I was livestreaming... I think he used my livestream schedual to determine if I was home, and I also think he was trying to "get his 15 minutes of fame" because he was always trying to get himself and his rifales on my webcams.

All of it was recorded via those livestreams *(yes, this is why several Witcher 3 VODs are not available for you to watch... it's the ones with the terrorist attacks on my family in them.)*, and all the video footage forwarded to local police, who in turn forwarded it to the FBI, and the FBI assigned Agent Andy Drewer to the case June 26, 2016.

All of that was a full 2 years before the October 2017 date in that article.

As of this discovery a new policy is now in place on my channel.. all mods are to **IMMEDIATLY BAN** any one and everyone they see with the word "Chan" at the end of their name, wither that user has ever visited my channel or not.

I want my mods to take ANY user they see on ANY channel ANYWHERE on Twitch to just ban those usernames from my channel as soon as they see them.

#From today forwards ALL USERNAMES ending in "Chan" are to be banned on sight.

#I do not want any member of this terrorist organization near my channel.

#The Chans are horrible people and I want nothing to do with any of them.

#Anyone found to be a supporter of ANY Chan is to be banned from my channel, even if they do not have "Chan" at the end of their username.

#UPDATED to answer this question:


*How is it you have never heard of 4chan or QAnon? I thought you were a dark webber? Everyone always talks about how you know all the darkest deepest sites on the internet. 4chan is like the biggest dark web website ever.*


Uhm... WHO exactly says I know dark web websites and what exactly is a dark webber?

I've been on the internet since 1996, but I build websites, I don't visit websites. In my 25 years on the internet I've probably visited fewer than 100 websites total, if that many. In fact, I can list off the top of my head websites I visit and use:

* Amazon

* Blogger/BlogSpot (as a blog writer, I don't read blogs by others)

* Deviantart (as a blog writer, I don't read/view content by others)

* eBay

* FaceBook

* FanFiction.Net (not visited since 2011)

* LinkedIn (as a blog writer, I don't read blogs by others)

* LiveJournal (as a blog writer, I don't read blogs by others)

* MySpace

* Nexus

* Pinterest

* SoapBox

* Squidoo (ceased to exist 2013)

* Twitch

* Twitter

* WordPress (as a blog writer, I don't read blogs by others)

* YouTube

* Zazzle

Wow... not only didn't reach 100, I didn't even reach 20.

I find it rather laughable that you or ANY ONE would think of me as someone who knows "dark web" web sites.

When exactly do you think I have time to browse the internet to even look for any website at all?

I work 80 to 120 hour weeks. 

I publish 4 novels a year, dozens of short stories a month, 2 to 3 non-fiction articles every day, paint on canvas with acrylic art for **[new merch products](** weekly, write for 12 blogs, and a manage/edit/write for 200 websites **[like this one](** which I built from the ground up and am the ONLY person managing/editing/writing for... AND I'm a retail merchandiser for HallMark travelling hundreds of miles a week to set up displays at WalMarts, CVS, Post Offices, WalGreens, and Khols all over New England. On top of all of that I make YouTube videos AND stream on Twitch.

So, explain to me WHEN you think it is that I have any free time for browsing the internet? 

I don't know who told you I was a "dark webber" or that I would know anything about "dark web" web sites, but, honey... check their username... did it say "Chan" at the end of their name? Yeah... THEY are a "dark webber" who visits "dark web" websites, not me, as can be clearly seen by them putting "Chan" at the end of their username.

You might want to reconsider where you get your information about me, who you get your information about me from, and fact check the source of the information you get about me.

If you could recommend I watch one VOD that best represented your channel, which would it be?

This one....

The Princess Bride predicting Covid-19?

Avallac'h's a Good Tutor?
Of What? How to Better Bed Kings?


Please be aware that nearly every page on this website contains spoilers to something. I talk about a lot of fandoms, and go into great detail analyzing them when I do. If I am talking about The Witcher series, InuYasha, Disney Ducks, the Quaraun series, or any other fandom, you WILL encounter spoilers about it. 

Mental Illness in Fiction

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Below are questions which have been sent to me from my readers via the Ask EelKat advice column. Each question is a link. Clicking that link will take you directly to the article which I wrote to answer said question. I have tried to arrange them by category in order to make it easier for you to find the answers you need.

As my long time readers will already know a server crash took down most of the old free-hosted site on June 4, 2013 (which was online since 1997 and had reached 6,000+ pages). Thankfully everything was saved on a separate hard-drive and the site is being rebuilt with a new host and for the first time on it's own domain. YAY!

I am currently moving all 6,000 questions&answer articles to this site one page at a time, at a rate of about 4 to 7 new pages being added each day, so be patient. Not all links are yet clickable. This process started on September 2, 2013 and will be ongoing at least through to January 2014. (And it may be well into 2017 before all 6,000 pages will be back online if I continue at this rate of 5 a day.)

Some Thoughts on Writing About Mental Illness in Fiction
From an Author Who
Lives With Mental Illness
and Writes What She Knows

What inspired you to use a mentally ill person as your main character? 

How do you pick what mental illness to write about? 

Should I write incest in my stories?

How do you make sure you get your character accurate or true to life when dealing with mental illnesses?

Creating Characters With Mental Health Issues:

What Qualifies You To Write About Mentally Ill Characters?

Because nearly every main character I write suffers from one or another mental illness, a common question I receive is:

"So, how do you research for (name of character, usually Roderic)? You must be a psychology major or something right? I know somebody with these mental illnesses and you are right on with a lot of the stuff (name of character, usually Roderic) does. People with Autism really do ____. People with Schizophrenia really do ______.  I'm amazed you get this stuff so accurate. So are you like a psychologist or something? What do you write about your patients? ha ha! So what qualifies you to write this stuff?"


I'm not a psychologist. In fact I never went to school.

My inspiration and research for Roderic? I was removed from school at age 8, I was told I would never be able to live on my own, get a job, drive a car, attend college, or function as a meaningful member of society.

I write what I know.

I have both Autism and Schizophrenia; later hit my head and developed new issues from that; and then later was the witness to an event that left my 5 best friends in a pile of body parts, which resulted in my having PTSD. And I had Agoraphobia for nearly 10 years.

Speech is very difficult for me. My verbal words are desperately slurred and stuttered and go from either way too fast or way too slow. Most times I know what I want to say, but the words that come out of my mouth are mixed up and in the wrong order so sound like nonsense. Folks often consider me "dumb" due to my being near-mute and desperate lack of getting words out in the correct order. I write 7k words a day just as part of my daily non-verbal speech. That is how I am able to pound out 15k a day during NaNoWriMo every year.

It is very frustrating when I want to talk to someone and they pat me on the head and say something like: "It's okay, here have a candy. Poor thing she can't understand us at all."

Roderic speaks in the same quasi-non-verbal muddled up speech I do. Roderic's dialouge is a blundered mes because my verbally spoken dialouge is an embarrassingly blundered mess.

Roderic is very shy and self conscious and terrified of how others will respond to his lack of ability to speak verbally in any real coherent manner, because I am very shy and self conscious and terrified of how others will respond to my lack of ability to speak verbally in any real coherent manner.

Roderic AND his flamboyant drag queen son, Etiole, wear long flowing, bright colored, gaudy, heavily beaded and embroidered silk robes, because wear long flowing, bright colored, gaudy, heavily beaded and embroidered silk robes.

Etiole drive a great big orange 1964 Dodge 330, because I drive a great big orange 1964 Dodge 330. Etiole was born September 23, 1664, because I bought my 1964 Dodge on September 23, 1975.

Are you starting to see a pattern here?

I write what I know.

I write what I know. And I know Autism, Schizophrenia, PTSD, and Agoraphobia very well.

The world as the reader sees it through Roderic's eyes...that is the world as seen through my eyes. Roderic is an accurate portrayal of someone with Autism, Schizophrenia, PTSD, and Agoraphobia, because he is written by someone with Autism, Schizophrenia, PTSD, and Agoraphobia. I know how Roderic would react to things, because it is how I react to things.

The Dazzling Razzberry? Roderic's son's car in the book, the one covered in quotes and beads and rhinestones? guess what, it's a real car and I own it. It's my daily driver, and here's a picture of what a car with 2.5million beads, buttons, marbles, and rhinestones glued to it looks like.

The nightmare world that Roderic lives in every story, is the nightmare world I live in, every day. I don't do any research into anything to write Roderic, I just write the world the way I see it.

My advice to other authors on writing characters with mental health issues is limited ONLY to Autism, Schizophrenia, PTSD, and Agoraphobia because I have Autism, Schizophrenia, PTSD, and Agoraphobia. I can advise other authors what it is like for a character to live with either Autism, Schizophrenia, PTSD, and/or Agoraphobia because I live with Autism, Schizophrenia, PTSD, and Agoraphobia and thus I know what it is like to live with Autism, Schizophrenia, PTSD, and Agoraphobia.

My advice to other authors regarding writing a character with either Autism, Schizophrenia, PTSD, and/or Agoraphobia is not based on an formal study or research, nor is it wide spanning across the wide and varied spectrum of each. There is no medical lingo nor will you find any  "I believe they much feel ___ because I have observed them doing ___" talk. I am not a doctor or psychologist or psychiatrist and I couldn't tell you heads nor tails of all their medical mumbo-jumbo-speak. My advice is simply the perspective of one who lives with Autism, Schizophrenia, PTSD, and Agoraphobia and I tell you simply what it is like to see the world through my eyes. Nothing more, nothing less.

There are many types of Autism. More than 75 different illnesses are listed as "being a type of Autism". I only have one of them. While 1 in every 9 children is born on the Autism Spectrum, the type of Autism I have is the rarest form and has had fewer than 300 cases ever diagnosed world-wide, that is 1 in 266million, so even if you know someone with Autism, chances are pretty high, you don't know someone with m type of Autism. I have Schitzotypal Aspergers (which IS NOT Asperger's Syndrome, please do not confuse Schitzotypal Aspergers with Asperger's Syndrome! They are VERY different.) Chances are also high that if your character has Autism, they will NOT have the same type of Autism as me. Please keep this in mind when considering my advice of writing a character with MY TYPE of Autism. I do not advise you on writing a Autism character in general, rather just the type of Autism I live with and how it effects my every day life.

There are many types of PTSD. Again, I have only one of them. Doctors debate on what specifically caused my PTSD. There were multiple events involved: at the age of 12 I became to obsession of a Mormon high priest who declared God had told him I was his wife and I was basically little more than his sex slave from the time I was 12 until I was 27. Being one of the wealthiest men in town, my parents looked the other way and completely ignored my pleas for help. Money talks louder than love, I learned that at an early age. No one cares about you when they can have money instead. 

At age 14 I was the only surviving witness of a mass murder that left my 5 best friends dissected alive and cut to pieces, I stopped talking during the 6month long court trial and would not speak again for another 15 years. The high priest would be my only human contact after the murder of my 5 friends.

I had a miscarriage at 16, which the high priest, to this day continues to deny due to the fact that he is 30 years older than me and values his holding a "Temple Recommend" over taking care of the emotional well being of the child he raped. Why does the LDS Sanford Ward give this man a temple recommend and allow him to remain a priest after what he did to me, I do not know.

At age 17 it was the high priest that  took over full control of my life and refused to allow me to drive a car, have friends, or leave the yard except to go to his church. He was extremely obsessive and possessive and I was his prisoner. Isolated from all humans except the sex crazed high priest, I began taking in every stray cat and dog that entered the yard.

The Agoraphobia set in at some point after that. I spent the rest of my life living in a swamp in the Ross Forest in Old Orchard Beach, Maine, with no electricity, no running water, no phone, no toilet, basically living off the land, my only companions being 500+ cats, dogs, horses, birds, and other assorted animals. The high priest "took care of me" but looking back today I can see that I lacked even the most basic of survival things (electricity, etc) and he only  barely took care of me just enough to keep me alive, not enough to thrive.

I gained partial freedom from the high priest when I turned 27 and he suddenly lost interest in me because it occurred to him that I was no longer young enough to satisfy his sex drive for little girls. While he now considered me unfit for sex, he still views me as his property and wields a jealously obsessive and very possessive amount of control over every area of my life, and to this day refuses to allow me to have friends. In a dramatic attempt to limit my freedom, in 2003 he took away the only human contact I had: the 3 hour church meetings ever Sunday.

We (me and my animals) lived in a 700sqft "beach cabin" (which was actually little more than a shed - it was not winterized and most of the glass panes had been broken out and replaced by blankets nailed over the hole), until it was knocked over by Hurricane Katrina.

I began rebuilding, but unknown to me rumors were circulating around town of "The Sea Witch of Old Orchard Beach" aka "Maine's Crazy Cat Woman" who lived in the woods.

Though I am not now, nor never was a witch, a local church leader incited his congregation into an "anti-witch" frenzy, which resulted in on October 18, 2006 one of his congregation members building a bomb out of a grease fryer stuffed with fly tapes, broke into my house at 1AM in the morning while I was asleep, turned it on high and left it in my kitchen.

The thing blew up and leveled my house with me and my pets trapped inside. The men behind these actions (though not the high priest who is still a high priest in the LDS/Mormon Sanford Ward in Sanford, Maine) are now in prison.

From October 2006 until May 2013 I lived under a 8x6 tarp with no protection from the rain or snow.

Things took a dramatic change in 2007 when I gained a car, and took to learned how to drive it, and for the first time in more than 30 years I suddenly had access to a world far removed from the isolated forest I had lived in since childhood. I tried to get help from the only people I knew: members of the LDS/Mormon Church (Saco Ward and Sanford Ward), but I was unaware at that time, that it was the members of these very congregations who had built the bomb and burned my house down.

The reaction was devastating: and resulted in me being beaten up on multiple occasions by said church members, resulting in a broken hip, and both wrists broken. I would not be aware of "The Sea Witch of Old Orchard Beach" accusations and rumors until 2010, when the church excommunicated me on false charges of being a witch, so I was clueless as to why these members reacted so violently to my church attendance.

Being excommunicated from the Mormon church means God has removed your name from the Book of Life and you are barred from Heaven, condemned  to walk eternity alone in Outer Darkness, thus there is no point in my dying as there is nothing for me in the afterlife, and yet being alone nothing I do in life feels like it matters any more. I have nothing to live for yet death is worse.

When you are excommunicated, they erase everything: your marriage becomes a divorce only worse, it is like it never happened, they go so far as to fully deny you were ever his wife, he even denies you were ever his wife; your family shuns you and speaks of you past tense as though you were dead, so do your friends, and your fellow church members, they see you with blind as as though you were invisible. They do not speak to you, they do not look at you...they don't even acknowledge you, if they looked away, that would indicate they saw you, but they don't even do that, they look right through you, walk right into you, act fully 100% like you are not standing there.

When you are a Mormon you are not allowed to have friend outside of the church, all your family are Mormons too, and when they excommunicate you, they and their god all abandon you, turn their backs on you, and act as though you were never born, which is worse than if they acted as though you were dead.

The high priest was the only friend I have had since my 5 friends were murdered more than 25 years ago. For 27 years he was the only human I had contact with. With the excommunication he declared if the Church found me unworthy of membership, I was therefore, in his words: unrightious, unfaithful, and not worthy of love. After 27 years together, he abandoned me, because the church told him to.

The excommunication, or rather my beloved high priest's reaction to it, was the final blow that resulted in many suicide attempts and the police orders that I am not to be left alone.

October 21, 2010 I had a stroke which left me unable to walk until well into January 2011, and with very limited mobility ever since.

Doctors suspect that it was these events which caused my PTSD, that each event made it worse than it was, and that it was because it was left untreated for more than 20 years, that it developed into Agoraphobia. But my really bad PTSD symptoms did not show up until October 21, 2010, the day m high priest abandoned me after the excommunication. I've had 3 strokes since than a 2nd on on October 21, 2011 and a 3rd one on October 21, 2012. I've suffered night terrors, tremors, panic attacks, seizures, and black outs on an almost daily basis ever since the day of the excommunication. Since than I barely sleep more than 2hrs a day and I write on average stead none stop for 16hrs a day.

Please keep this in mind when considering my advice of writing a character with MY TYPE of PTSD symptoms. I do not advise you on writing a PTSD character in general, rather just the type of PTSD symptoms I live with and how it effects my every day life.

There are many types of Agoraphobia. The type I had allowed me to leave the house, but not to leave the yard.

There are many types of Schizophrenia. There are 26 confirmed types of Schizophrenia and some doctors argue that there are more than 40 types of Schizophrenia. I only have one of them. There has been confusion between doctors on my diagnose.

To be exact I have never been diagnose with Schizophrenia, instead I have been diagnosed as "having learned to act Schizophrenic, by being raised by two parents who both had Schizophrenia". Doctors have suggested that "Schizophrenic habits" can be taught to children, who have a Schizophrenic parent. Unfortunately I was 31 years old before I had contact with "the outside world" and doctors say that because of my extreme isolation and total non-socialization, combined with my Autism, they can not be certain if I ACTUALLY have Schizophrenia or if I just picked up on my parents actions and do not act normal simply because I had never seen anyone act normal before.

The reason they debated this is because they said that if I do in fact have Schizophrenia, it is not a type of Schizophrenia they have ever encountered before, they said I was an anomaly, because of the rarity of finding a person who lived 31 years of their life with complete 100% zero contact with outside society, and they did not know how to diagnose me because I suffered from a type of Schizophrenia that was only seen in "feral children" and because there are no detailed studies of feral children like me, they didn't have a proper name for the type of Schizophrenia I had. They said there have only ever been 3 other cases of children who were raised in the same extreme social isolation I had been raised in. They said that I was only the 4th time this type of "Feral Child Schizophrenia" has ever been seen and that it had no scientific name, because there was lack of studies and too much debate as to whether or not it actually is Schizophrenia. They said I would likely never be able to integrate into normal society.

The doctors tell me that they do not know if "Feral Child Schizophrenia" is actually Schizophrenia or if it is just a case of the person acting, talking, and dressing strange because no one ever taught them how to act, talk, or dress "normal". The doctors finally concluded that I have Schizophrenia-like habits, and that I talk, act, and dress like someone with Schizophrenia, but that in all likelihood I have "Feral Child Schizophrenia" which has not been confirmed as actually being "real" Schizophrenia. So it's up for debate whether I have Schizophrenia or not.

Only 4 in 8billion (numbers the doctor quoted to me) have ever been diagnosed with my type of Schizophrenia. Chances are also high that if your character has Schizophrenia, they will NOT have the same type of Schizophrenia as me. Please keep this in mind when considering my advice of writing a character with MY TYPE of Schizophrenia. I do not advise you on writing a Schizophrenic character in general, rather just the type of Schizophrenia I live with and how it effects my every day life.

While I was diagnosed with Autism, PTSD, and Agoraphobia, doctors have not officially diagnosed me with Schizophrenia. They say I have Schizophrenia-like symptoms but not enough of them and not bad enough for an actual diagnoses of Schizophrenia. They say they are "on the fence" as to whether I have Schizophrenia or not.

They said initially they had thought I had Schizophrenia because they did not believe the story of my life and said it was not possible in this day and age, and in a town as built up as Old Orchard Beach, for this to happen. However, they did their research, contacted church members, visited the 8x6tarp-tent in the 300 acres of Ross Forest that sits in the heart of Old Orchard Beach, contacted police and FBI, looked into the men now in prison, saw the charred remains of the burned down house, and came back to say "OMG! You were telling the truth!".

The Salt Lake Church Headquarters refused to comment (to the doctors) on the excommunication, and the bishop who actually did the act was kicked out of his role as Bishop, and though they have tried everything they could think of to get it, the identity of the high priest was never handed over to the doctors, because of their threat to start court proceedings to have him put in prison. I could never let them do that to him.  When they asked why I would protect such a horrible monster, I explained that I do not see him as the monster they say he is, I have never seen him as anything but my husband and the man I love. He's 30 years older than me, here I am in my 40s, he's an elderly man today, and he has Alzheimer's, he rarely remembers anything of his life let alone what he did to me, and he remembers me as being the only friend he's ever had.

Though I'm not diagnosed with it, the doctor's say that I likely have Stockholm's Syndrome as well, given the fact that I remain completely unmoving at revealing the identity of the high priest to them.  The thing they do not understand is, a lot of people hurt me, and he never did. What he did, he did in an attempt to try to protect me. Looking back I can see that he suffered from some serious mental health issues (he has been diagnosed with OCD and DID and Schizoefective Personality) and probably was not the best person to try to protect me, and obviously did not use conventional methods, but I also don't believe he knew of a more conventional method either.

They point out that he lives in a mansion, safe warm, and dry, indoors, while for all these years he has forced me to live outside, under a tarp, cold, wet, outside, unprotected during 5 hurricane, 3 blizzards, an ice storm, and the coldest day in Maine history when  temps reached -48F. They point out that he always has food every day, and yet, I often go days on end between meals.

They are correct, this is true, but he is the one who bought the tarp for me to live under and he is the one who buys me food once or twice a week. No one else did that. No one else did anything at all. Five church congregations totally more than 2,000 people knew of my living conditions, knew of my lack of food, of course they knew my house had been burned down, my relatives all knew, my blood family knew, the neighbors knew, everyone living in Old Orchard Beach, Saco, and Biddeford knew: 45,000 local people knew, and one one of them did a single thing to help. Just the high priest. He's always been there for me. I can't say that about anyone else.

Tell me, when there have been literally dozen of people who have treated me far worse, why would I turn over to the police the only person on this entire planet who's ever lifted a finger to help me? Yes, he is a rapist and used forced sex as a way to get "paid back" for helping me, but considering other people have beaten me up, cut my car in half, burned down my house, killed my cats, broken my bones...being raped in exchange for a tarp to live under and 1 or 2 meals a week is a small price to pay. He took advantage of me, yeah I know that, but he's also the only person who's ever helped me.

Who bought me The Dazzling Razzberry, and keeps it running? He did!

When other Mormons chopped up my Goldeneagle, who went out and tracked down all the pieces of it, bought them all and put it back together? He did!

Who buys $200 worth of catfood to feed each and every week for the past 20 year for all the feral cats that follow me around? He does!

Who buys these mink coats, fur cape, 100 year old silk kimonos, rhinestone ballgowns, and all the rest of my vastly expansive $13,000 wardrobe? He did, and still does!

When a disabled senior dog was about to be put to sleep because she'd been 5 months passed up by families in a shelter, who went out and bought her and than had all her medical work done? He did?

Every time one of my cats needs a vet, who takes them in and pays for the thousands of dollars for surgeries  and meds? He does!

That man you are calling a monster, spends nearly $60,000 dollars on me, my cars, my cats, and my cloths every single year, for the past 27 damn years. So don't you dare, tell me that I ought to put him in prison! Yeah, he did it all in exchange for sex with a minor, but I'm not a minor anymore, and in spite of the excommunication he still pays all the bills to this day.

Did you ever stop to think: if he, the only man to ever help me, is as terrible as you say he is, how much worse does that make everyone else? All the members of the Saco, Sanford, and Cape Elizabeth Wards of the LDS/Mormon Church who knew what my living conditions were, knew what the high priest was doing to me, and still did nothing. Not only did they not try to help me, they never tried to stop him, either. And you call him a monster? He's not the monster here. All the members of the Saco, Sanford, and Cape Elizabeth Wards of the LDS/Mormon Church who sat on their asses doing nothing for the 38 years that this was going on - they are the monsters here.

Tell me this: if he REALLY belongs in prison, than why, when I went to the Church for help, did they excommunicate me, and simultaneously promote him to being one of the priests of The Boston Temple who oversees the baptisms of teenage girls and boys? Seriously, if you people think he's that dangerous and want him in prison, than why do you got him baptizing kids, now? Think about it. Really, stop, and think about it.

But yeah, there you have it, my life in a nutshell and how it is I qualify to tell you how to write about characters with mental health issues. I have several of my own, don't deny it, I was raised by so people who were far from sane themselves, and when it comes to psycho-billy nut jobs, I can't say I have ever known any body who wasn't of questionable mental health, of course I've not known that many people but that would be because the people I did know were so paranoid and full of anti-government conspiracies that they wouldn't leave the house except to go to church and pow-wow with other people too paranoid to leave the house except to go to church.

In my 3 years since being excommunicated (and thus being ignored by my fellow Mormons, which means they also no longer prevent me from leaving the yard, because they are too busy shunning me to stop me), I have gotten my driver's license, gotten a GED, gotten a job, joined college, and actually got to have my first contact with non-Mormons, and everywhere I go people are always calling Mormons cultists (and no one ever knows I'm a Mormon either, so they have no idea that when they confide their latest "Have you heard what those crazy Mormons are up to now?" stories to me that they are talking to a Mormon.) I have had (and am still having) a very hard time adjusting to "life on the outside" (as Mormons put it) but the more time I spend with non-Mormons the more I can see, that yeah, cult is the correct word for the life style I grew up in. Funny how I never saw it that way when I was in it. Funny how it took being excommunicated for me to leave the yard and see that there was a great big world full of people on the outside. Funny how I never noticed how insanely paranoid my fellow Mormons were until they turn on me and tossed me out amongst the non-Mormons. Funny how Mormons describe the rest of the world as evil and Satanic, and in 3 years on the outside, hob-nobbing around with my 8,000 fellow SMCC students, I've yet to find anyone who is either evil or Satanic.

Even funnier is how psychologists tell me, that the fact that I have come so far in my integration into "normal society" in such a short time, that they now say they are questioning their earlier diagnoses of me. They say it is possible I don't have Autism or Schizophrenia at all, that I was simply "deeply repressed by cultists" and was completely shut down. They say the very fact that I have learned how to talk is proof that their initial diagnosis of Mutism Autism was wrong. They are also "astounded" that someone who had Agoraphobia as bad as I did in 2006, could be now the social butterfly I have become at college. They now say they misdiagnosed the Agoraphobia and that it was more a "learned habit of fear" caused by living with other people who feared everything, saying that children mimic the adults around them, and I had no point of reference because I grew up in a cult.

I do not know what to believe about anything the doctors tell me. They can't seem to pin down a diagnosis and they persist in calling the church that was the only thing I knew for nigh on 40 years a cult. Was it a cult? I don't know. I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact that they ganged up on me and threw me out of their "fold" based on some stupid hysterical, ludicrous false accusation of witchcraft! It's too much for me to deal with as it is, I can't even begin to try to question was it a cult or not! Which if any mental illness do I actually have? I don't know. I won't even know how to tell one from another to begin with, I only know what the names of these things are because it is what doctors tell me. All I want is for someone to love me. I don't care about anything else. Sleeping alone at night is unbearable. Before the excommunication I've not been alone at night since before I was 12. The loneliness is unbearable.

But than I write about Roderic. More than 200 stories about a character, whom readers can not stop telling me is the most accurate portral of Autism and/or Schizophrenia they have ever encountered in fiction, and all they want to know is, how do you do it? How do you research to write about him? What is your training in psychology? How can you write mental illness so accurately? How did you create a character so true to life on what it is like to live with Schizophrenia?

I just write what I know. Everything that happens to Roderic, is based on something that actually happened to me. All of it. There is far more truth than fiction in the stories I write about Roderic. His life mirrors my own in so many ways. But the thing of it is, I don't write Roderic as being mentally ill, I never have, at no time do I ever say he has this or that - he's not diagnosed with anything and it is purely readers who are saying he has Autism and/or Schizophrenia. I don't know what Roderic has, I don't write Roderic as though he has anything, I just write Roderic living everyday normal life, the same everyday normal life I live, which I guess is a far cry from what other people see as everyday or normal. Roderic is me; his life is mine. I write what I know. So sure, you can ask me to tell you how to write meantally ill characters and sure I can tell you what I know and how I write my characters, but yo got to understand I do not research for Roderic what so ever, I just write the world the way I see it, so I suppose, it's a case of it takes one to know one, when it comes to how it is I write Roderic so "accurately" as a fictional character with mental health issues.

That is why I say I can not advise you on "specifically" writing a character with "specific" mental illness, and rather can only advice you on writing characters who see the world as I do, and live with the issues I live with.

I Love Roderic!
A List of Every Page on this Site
Where I Talk More About Roderic

It is no secret that Sir Roderic Lincandonia Swanzen, owner of The Twighlight Manor, is my favorite character, and you don't have to read very many blog posts, articles, site pages, etc to realize, I talk about him A LOT. While you see him mentioned in passing on just about every page on this site, there are some pages where I go into vast detail about his life. I am going to make a list of them all and tack it to the end of each of those pages, to make it easier for readers to find them all. And here they are:

Roderic Swanzen

Developing Character Backgrounds

Using a Character with a Mental Illness

But Is It Erotica?

Toilets in Fiction

Twighlight NOT Twilight!

Mental Illness in Fiction

Incest In Fiction

Mute Characters

Characters With Disabilities

NaNoWriMo: How Do You Pick Which Story to Write?

Enhance Your Creativity To Become a Better Writer

Fantasy World Building

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The End?

No, you have NOT reached the end of this article! What you have reached is the end of what it currently online. The rest is coming, hopefully it'll be on here in a day or three so keep checking back. I will remove this message at the same time I put the rest of it online.

As my long time readers will already know a server crash took down most of the old free-hosted site on June 4, 2013 (which was online since 1997 and had reached 6,000+ pages). Thankfully everything was saved on a separate hard-drive and the site is being rebuilt with a new host and for the first time on it's own domain. YAY!

I am currently moving all 6,000 questions&answer articles to this site one page at a time, at a rate of about 4 to 7 new pages being added each day, so be patient. Not all links are yet clickable. This process started on September 2, 2013 and will be ongoing at least through to January 2014. (And it may be well into 2017 before all 6,000 pages will be back online if I continue at this rate of 5 a day.)

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