How We Gypsies See The Americans An Inside Look Into The Every Day Lives Of The Scottish Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach Maine Memoirs of a Gypsy Queen by EelKat Wendy C Allen

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Please note that since 2013, there have shown up several FAKE "EelKat" accounts, often using photos stolen from my website. Those accounts are run by a stalker who also goes by the names Kendra Silvermander & Tom Addams. They are wanted by the FBI, so if you run across one of these fake accounts pretending to be me, please report it to FBI Agent in charge of the case: Andy Drewer.



How We Gypsies See The Americans

How We Gypsies See The Americans
Re-release of USA Government Banned Book
Page 3


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Do You Read Banned Books?
Want To Read The First Ever Books Banned By The United States Government?

How We Gypsies 
See The Americans

Memoirs of a Gypsy Queen
A Behind The Scenes Look Into The Everyday Life of 
The Scottish Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Maine

by 
EelKat Wendy C. Allen

Was One of The 27 Books
Banned By The United States Government
On January 4, 2016

It was forced to be unpublished
and removed from books stores
by a court order issued by
The Town Hall of The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine,
A United States of America Government Orginization

Banned from publication on Amazon, by the United States Government, How We Gypsies See The Americans, is now available to read online for free.



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How We Gypsies See The Americans
Re-release of USA Government Banned Book
Page 3

As a result of these recent violent hate crime attacks, I began asking several white locals if they had any clue as to what could have inspired this man's radical hatred and bigotry and the answer I received time and time again was always the same: People fear the unknown. Little is known about the Gypsies. We keep to ourselves, rarely coming down off our land, rarely seen by the public eye.

We are a mystery.

Exotic.

Eccentric.

Bizarre.

Strange.

Outlandish.

Different.

We dress different, talk different, act different, have different customs, live in strange non-traditional housing, drive bizarre circus clown looking cars, wear clothes that look like we walked out of an ancient century long gone, practice a religion no one has ever heard of, talk to and about Faeries and Wee Ones and Little People, and the only thing anyone really knows about our clan is that Stephen King was so fascinated by us that he wrote a book about the Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, a book that was made into a movie and filmed on location in our town, using our family members as seconds and walk ins and featuring our real live wild antique collection of cars in the film, known as Thinner, based on the book of the same name.



Hamsa
Eye of The Grigoi
Eye of the Watchers
Eye of God
Hand of God
Eye of Protection
Evil Eye
Gypsy Curse


Every year thousands of tourists flock to Old Orchard Beach, in search of the Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, to see if they really are the outlandish people Stephen King portrayed us as in Thinner. Around here nothing makes a Stephen King fans piss-pants happier then to come up into our farm and oogle at the Gypsies made famous by Thinner.

I have not read the book nor seen the movie, and very little of the movie was actually filmed here. I think most people are of the impression the entire movie was filmed here and that we are the actors in the film. In actuality, the film crew was only here for a few hours of a single day. The film crew wasn't even here more then five hours. There are some very important facts you need to understand about Scottish Gypsy culture, if you are to understand why we were not in agreement with the movie being filmed here.

Gypsies are very quiet, often refusing to speak in public, refusing to speak to strangers, refusing to speak to non-Gypsies, and refusing to make eye contact, looking always and only at the ground when being addressed by non-Gypsies. Non-Gypsies often say we are "morbidly shy", say that our entire clan is Autistic (which may be true, as most every clansman who's ever been to a doctor has been diagnosed with Autism), or that we suffer from "extreme eccentric snobbery". Gypsies will not smile or laugh or yell or cry while there is a non-Gypsy in the room. Gypsies will not speak to cashiers when paying for items in the store, nor will they raise their eyes to make eye contact with salesmen. In short, Gypsies simply go mute in the presence of a non-Gypsy and no amount of flashing money in their face, saying "We'll pay you to be in our movie" is going to change that as Gypsies have little use for money and don't accept bribes. And as such, no real Gypsy had a speaking role in that movie, because Gypsies refuse to speak in the presence of non-Gypsies unless absolutely necessary, and because most Gypsies refuse to be photographed.



Gypsy Decor Images Provided By Amazon

Gypsies are highly superstitious and most see modern items of white men as cursed, demonic, evil or "of Satan". It is why many Gypsies fear to have electricity in their homes, and will not own phones. Things like iPods and cell phones are seen as devices created by Satan. My owning a computer and having internet connection is seen as highly controversial and has caused many tensions with the clan who feel there is no greater evil on the planet, then "Satan's internet". Cameras are seen as tools of Satan created to trap one's soul. Few Gypsies will allow themselves to be photographed. Many Gypsies have a fear of cameras, living in morbid dread of having their soul captured if they are caught on camera, and so there are no real Gypsies in the film as actors, and only a handful as walk-ins in the background, and none had their faces filmed. And again, no amount of flashing money in their face, saying "We'll pay you to be in our movie" is going to change that as Gypsies have little use for money and don't accept bribes, because Gypsies believe that "money is the root of all evil". Everybody in that movie, whose face you could see, was not a real Gypsy.

Most of what was filmed here was to have people line up our cars in a big long row and drive them back and forth off the Old Orchard Beach turnpike exit in Saco (Known as Exit 5 at the time the movie was filmed here.) I myself was not in the movie (I don't think - I'm not supposed to be, but you know how sneaky and untrustworthy white men are). I spent the day they were here, standing beside the road watching them film the cars driving back and forth and listening to directors and camera men complaining that there was not enough fog. Old Orchard Beach, famous for it's thick fog, was refusing to give them fog for the film and they had to bring in fog machines which angered them to no end. They got a few shots of various clan members from behind in traditional dress walking around downtown at Palace Playland and then they left. That was the extent of our involvement in the movie Thinner. But, it was enough, for ever since that movie was filmed, our family has been bombarded with tourists coming to our town in search of "The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach".

I am told by fans of the book and movie that it portrays our family in a wicked evil, very dark light.That the Gypsies in the movie are evil witches. And that because of Thinner, we Scottish Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach are viewed as evil practitioners of dark arts, people quick to cast curses and death spells, angry and full of vengeance. We have been told by fans of Thinner, that when they actually met us in person they were very surprised to find that we were nothing like the way the movie portraies us. They said they did not expect us to be friendly, nor did they expect us to dress the way we dress, as the” Gypsies” in the movie dressed in a much more stereotypical manner.







Fans of Thinner also tell us they are quiet alarmed by the act that we are NOT witches and don’t cast curses. This fact alarmed them, because they tell us, that the entire basis of the movie s a man angers a Gypsy woman who puts a curse on him, causing him to starve to death no matter how much he eats (thus the name “Thinner”)

I think the thing which surprises us Gypsies the most, is how DISAPPOINTED tourists are when they arrive here in Old Orchard Beach, looking for the Gypsies who were in Thinner and find out that, we are NOTHING like the “Gypsies” in the movie. Worse for the fans, is when they learn that NOT ONE REAL Gypsy was actually filmed in the movie. Apparently, the film makers had done some sort of marketing scream, of promoting the movie by saying it had REAL Gypsies in it to make it “authentic”.

Tha is one of the things which annoies us most of all. EveryJune, July, and Agugust, hundreds of people flock to our yard, ooggling and taking pictures, and getting piss pants excited over getting to meet the “Gypsies of Thinner” live and in person, and then t

I am told by locals that the movie Thinner and how it portrays my family, is very likly the cause of WHY this particular man and his small group of white-supremacists friends chose to target my family. This belief was due to the fact that when questioned in court and by police, this man and his friends said they did the things they did because they were "doing God's work" and that "God had ordained" them and "sent them to Maine" to "rid the town of it's evil witches". 



Gypsy Decor Images Provided By Amazon

We will probably never know for sure what possessed this man and his friends to do the violent and hateful things they did, but, it did get me thinking. The locals are right.

We DO keep to ourselves.

We DO rarely coming down off our land.

We ARE rarely seen by the public eye.

We DO NOT speak to strangers.

We ARE a mystery to people outside our clan.

We DO dress different.

We DO talk different.

We DO act different.

We DO have different customs.

We DO live in strange non-traditional housing.

We DO drive bizarre circus clown looking cars.

We DO wear clothes that look like we walked out of an ancient century long gone.

We DO practice a religion no one has ever heard of.

We DO believe in, talk to and about the Faeries, Wee Ones, and Little People.

We DO practice magic arts.

And the only thing anyone really does know about our clan IS that Stephen King was so fascinated by us that he wrote a book about the Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach and it was made into a movie that was later filmed here.

Exotic.

Eccentric.

Bizarre.

Strange.

Outlandish.

Different.

Unknown.

People DO fear the unknown and outside of Stephen King's Thinner, we are virtually unknown to the world.

People react to our family with fear. I see that every time I leave the land and go into the town. A path opens up between the crowds and I walk along, with mothers pulling their children away and people averting their eyes in fear that I will hex them if they look at me. That people on the outside fear my people is not in question.

I suppose the funny thing is the men involved in those hate crimes and the bomb, called us Wiccans and Witches when in fact we are neithger Wiccan nor Witches.

Equally funny are the tourists who come up here each summer and ask me to teach them Wicca or Witchcraft and are utterly baffled when I explain to them that I know nothing about either Wicca or Witchcraft. To which they ask:

"But aren't you a witch?"

"No."

"But you're a Gypsy."

"Yes."

"And you cast spells and stuff right?"

"Yes."

"So ain't that like Wicca and Witchcraft and stuff?"

"No."

"But don't you like worship the Goddess?"

"No. I'm a Christian."

"Wait, you can't be a Gypsy and practice magic and be a Christian too. It doesn't work that way!"

"I belong to two separate Christian religions: LDS/Mormon and Voodoo."

"But Mormons aren't Christians, they got that gold Bible and stuff and Voodoo that witchcraft that's not a religion."



Gypsy Decor Images Provided By Amazon

"No, Mormons do not have a Golden Bible, you Mormons are Christians who worship God the Father and believe in salvation through the atonement of the blood of Jesus. No Voodoo is not witchcraft, it's a ChristoPagan religion that uses Bible based magic, evocation of saints, reverence to Mother Mary, Catholic prayer beads/rosaries and in the Voodoo religion I am an ordained minister, rank of Medsen Fey, Marij Loa to Damballah Weddo. I tend his shrine and that of his wife Erzullie Fredda. I am the head minister of the Church of the Holy Rhinestone which houses the shrine of Damballah god of peace and purity, Eruzillie goddess of rhinestones and gay men, and Saint Liberace` patron saint of Autistic children, mothers, and drag queens."

"But...but...but...Wicca is the only ONE TRUE PATH to Goddess and no one outside of Wicca can do REAL magic. If it's not Wicca it's evil, black magic and occultist Satan worship!"

"Uhm...I thought Wiccans didn't believe in Satan? Are you sure you even know what you are talking about? And I already told you I don't worship any Goddesses."

"But don't you do like nature stuff with like Faeries and Mother Earth and all that jazz?"

"The magic arts I practice are known as Faerie Faith and reveraces the spirits of nature. They have nothing to do with worship a goddess or Mother Earth or any of that jazz. My personal spirit guide is a FarDarrig, a creature similar to a Leprechaun, known as a Memegwasii to Kickapoo side of my family."



Gypsy Decor Images Provided By Amazon

So you do like magic circle rituals and and call your spirit guide forth with your anthem?"

"I sometimes cast a circle, except for the times that I don't."

"So should I use salt or flour?"

"I use whatever is on hald: salt, flour, cornmeal, thyme, garlic powder, stick drawing in the dirt, usually I use diatomicus earth, because I have a raging phobia of bugs and it keeps the creepy crawlies in check."

"Diatomicus earth? What's that?"

"It's pulverized coral and lava and reef sand, mashed up to the texture of flour, but it's actually a fine natural glass, that cuts up bugs as they run acrossed it. Kill bedbugs, cockroaches, fleas, lice, silverfish, and all those other bugs I have massive phobias of. You can also use it as a skin rub to smooth away dead flesh and wrinkles, which is why I'm in my 40s and still get carded at the store on school days. (No one ever believes I'm over 16 and not skipping class.)"

"What moon phase you you recommend I bless my anthem and chalic with?"

"Anthem and chalic?"

"Yeah, for my altar. I read I was supposed to put them on my altar..."



Hamsa
Eye of The Grigoi
Eye of the Watchers
Eye of God
Hand of God
Eye of Protection
Evil Eye
Gypsy Curse


"I don't know what you are talking about. My altar is a giant stump in the swamp. It's covered several inches thick with moss. It's where I leave offerings to the Fearies. There's nothing on it but the moss that grows there."

"Well, what moon phase do you do that with?"

"No idea."

"How can you not know? Witches always do spells by moon phases."

"I already told you, I'm not a witch and other then a full moon, I couldn't tell you one moon phase from another. Plus I don't have electricity, so I get up with the sunrise and go to bed with the sunset. I rarely see the moon at all, let alone come out at night to do spells in the dark. Do you have any idea how stupid that is around here? There are 5 black bear out in the woods there, two packs of cyottes totally more then 30 individual dogs, several racoons, which if you knew anything about animals you'd know are far more dangerous and more likely to attack a human then a bear is..."

"B...b...b...bear? There's bear around here?"

"Hum,huh."

"Is it safe out here?" Looks up at the 200 foot tall 300 year old pine trees that cover our land and suddenly realizes how far off the beaten path they went to reeach me.

"As long as you don't go outside at night it is. Unless a rabid fox or racoon shows up."

"So you don't do spell casting at night by the moon?" Looks around nervously noticing how close to sunset it is and how wicked dark it already is this deep in the words of Maine.

"Nope. No moon casting."

"But Wicca..."

"Is something I do not practice and know nothing about. Sorry."



Gypsy Decor Images Provided By Amazon

I go through this same sort of conversation with just about every white tourist who comes up in here looking for me. And in spite of white people constantly saying I have Autism and saying because I am so Autistic I am very difficult to communicate with, inordinately shy, and serverly lacking in any communication or social skills, you will find that I am the most communicative member of the clan.

While white men see me as "horrendously introverted" and "painfully shy", my own clan sees me as "too extroverted" and "a chatter box" who is "too outgoing" and "too willing to speak to white men". So, if you've ever meet me in person and spoken with me, and said I was shy, introverted, or Autistic, know that you'll find it even more difficult to communicate with others of my clan because they are far more of what you white men call shy, introverted, or Autistic, then I am.

To be clear, this book is not a study or history of Wicca, Witchcraft, Voodoo, Mormonism, Christianity, or any other religion. While the magic arts I practice are effected by Voodoo and Mormonism to a great degree, they are not truely or strictly Voodoo or Mormonisn. This book is rather a look at the cultural, spiritual and magical traditions of my people, The Scottish Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Maine.

Interviews With The Thinner Gypsies:

























































Do You Read Banned Books?
Want To Read The First Ever Books Banned By The United States Government?

How We Gypsies
See The Americans

Memoirs of a Gypsy Queen
A Behind The Scenes Look Into The Everyday Life of
The Scottish Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Maine

by
EelKat Wendy C. Allen

Was One of The 27 Books Banned By The United States Government On January 4, 2016

It was forced to be unpublished
and removed from books stores
by a court order issued by
The Town Hall of The Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine,
A United States of America Government Orginization

The First Amendment to the United States Constitution prohibits the making of any law respecting an establishment of religion,

impeding the free exercise of religion,

abridging the freedom of speech,

infringing on the freedom of the press,

interfering with the right to peaceably assemble

or prohibiting the petitioning for a governmental redress of grievances.

It was adopted on December 15, 1791, as one of the ten amendments that constitute the Bill of Rights.


“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse, and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.” 
― Desmond Tutu


Bullies should never force you to  suffer in silence. If someone has hurt you, let others know.


“I wonder if you realize: When you browbeat people who disagree with you into silence - because they don't want to be called hater, bigot, Hitler, whatever - their silence will create for you the illusion that you're winning. But it's just an illusion - an illusion you find so intoxicating that you're completely unprepared when the moment of truth comes . . . and you lose.” 

― Dan Calabrese


“I would rather be a little nobody, then to be a evil somebody.” 

― Abraham Lincoln


“If you're horrible to me, I'm going to write a song about it, and you won't like it. That's how I operate.” 

― Taylor Swift


How We Gypsies 
See The Americans

Memoirs of a Gypsy Queen
A Behind The Scenes Look Into
The Everyday Life of 
The Scottish Gypsies of
Old Orchard Beach, Maine

by 
EelKat Wendy C. Allen

Banned from publication on Amazon, by a First Amendment violating, court order on January 4, 2016, by the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall, a branch of the United States government, How We Gypsies See The Americans, is now available to read online for free.



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Banned by the United States Government, January 4, 2016 for being "Too Gay For The Family Friendly Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine."

State of Maine, Biddeford District Court:

Docket #BDDC-PA-2015-00574

Keeping in mind that the judge never read the book and I was never allowed to testify, as MOST of the court case was done via an "exparte order" without my knowledge to court case against me even existed until nearly a year after it started. The whole judgement being based off a murder I had no connection to, with residents of Old Orchard Beach, using as their "evidence" the phrase: "Remember Saco Shaw's all transsexuals are alike" and citing that transgender people are running around Maine killing people because there is a transvestite Necromancer in this book, their claim being that had the Quaraun series not been published the Saco Shaw's Murder would not have happened.

In the court documents, the Town of Old Orchard Beach claims that the Quaraun series is "autobiographical" because it is set in my hometown, and that because the main character, a 400 year old Elf named Quaraun, is a partly-castrated serial killing transvestite eunuch necromancer who suffers from schizophrenia, that I the straight, female author am QUOTE "a dangerous mentally unstable gay transsexual eunuch terrorist, who will kill us all" UNQUOTE.

Throughout the court papers they referenced quotes said by Quaraun (a fictional non-Human character in a fantasy novel) in this book claiming that they were quotes taken off my "About Me Page" of my website. (Thus why my About Me Page now includes my response to the court documents' allegations that I am gay, transsexual, or eunuch). Also interesting is the fact my primary accuser in these court documents (the man who drove a backhoe over my house in 2013) is also the same person who hacked my KBoards account & my website, placing his name all over both, while impersonating me online and pretending to be me throughout August to December 2015 (a time period when I was offline due to multiple surgeries & hospitalization after being beaten up by a man driving a 4-door white pick up truck). Also interestingly, is I never knew who owned the backhoe, and his name was unknown to me prior to receiving the sheriff's notice of my books being banned on January 4, 2016. Also interesting to note is in addition to owning the backhoe that drove over my house, he also owns a 4-door white pick-up truck.

Also interesting to note is that when I went to the Town Hall to ask the Town Manager & Town Counsel why they were filing these absolutely, ludicrously, ridiculous, transphobic, civil rights violating court papers to begin with, none of them were aware of the existence of the court case, and the man with the 4-door white pick up truck is now suspected (by the FBI who is investigating this "highly suspicious court case") of having filed the court case in the Town Hall's name using official USA government letterhead stolen from the Town Hall's Code Enforcement office. From 2014 to mid 2016 the court papers read "Town of Old Orchard Beach vs Wendy Christine Allen" The FBI started investigating the Town Hall June 2016. From June 2016 to October 2016 the court documents read {name removed & name removed} (name of backhoe owner & 4-5-8's sister) vs Wendy Christine Allen. Several forged documents have since been uncovered in this court case, that is now known to have been done by a local resident who not only impersonated me online, but also impersonated the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall in court.

While the man named in the documents CLAIMED to work for the town hall, calling himself "the board of zoning appeals", this has since been proven to be yet another impersonation on his part, and the only two ACTUAL government employees to ever appear in court were Old Orchard Beach CEO Dan Feeney and Old Orchard Beach Police Officer Will Watson, both of whom said they were there "on behalf of Town Manager Larry Mead as his representative". Larry Mead when questioned, denied having any knowledge of the court case at all and was shocked to discover that he himself was named in the docket as the person who filed the paperwork. Seven other Town Hall Government officials were also named as having collectively filed the paperwork with him, including my cousin; all of whom when questioned, had no knowledge there was a court case going on in their names, with them named as Plaintiffs. In court police officer Will Watson broke down on the testimony stand, claiming to be blackmailed into being there, stating that his "beloved mother-in-law" was in frail health and "they are threatening to kill her if I don't comply". If he is in fact being blackmailed and if so by who, as yet remains unknown.

And in spite of the hysterical rumours this man has been screaming all over town, there is no more evidence that the transsexual serial killer Connor MacCalister ever read my books or even knew of their existence, then there is that I am a 400 year old gay Elf wizard.

Also interesting to note is the first court papers were filed October 2014, 3 weeks after the mass market release of The Night of The Screaming Unicorn, and 1 week after the public unveiling on my latest art car The Transgender Awareness Tour Bus, and nearly a year BEFORE the Saco Shaw's murder which happened August 2015. Connor MacCalister's name was not added to the court papers until September 12, 2015, a full year AFTER the first court papers were filed.

The vandalism of my tour bus (it being filled with feces 3 feet deep) happened April 10, 2015, and the beheading of my cats happened May 2015, both happening BEFORE the August 2015 murder, in spite of the residents of Old Orchard Beach, claiming they did those things BECAUSE of the Saco Shaw's murder.

In the end 27 of my books were 

banned and unpublished 

BY A 1st Amendment violating COURT ORDER 

that was issued by

THE OLD ORCHARD BEACH TOWN HALL,

United States Government Organization

making the Quaraun Series the FIRST and ONLY books in American history to ever be

BOOKS BANNED

BY THE

UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT


Do you know who filled my motorhome with feces April 2015?

Do you know who cut my cats' heads off?

Do you know who it is Police Officer Will Watson claims is blackmailing him?

Do you know who stole the $3million in tax money from the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall bank accounts during all of this?

Do you know who built the bomb that blew up my house October 18, 2006?

Do you know who drove a backhoe over my next house on August 8, 2013?

Do you know who the driver of the 4-door white pick up tuck is, the one who beat me up, on November 14, 2013 at Southern Maine Community College, paralyzing me for 5 months, leaving me crippled for the rest of my life?

Do you know who is holding my 10 cats hostage, cutting off their heads, and returning them back one head at a time?

Do you know the identity of the hacker who hacked my Kboards & Twitter accounts, from a public access computer at the McAuthor Public Library in Biddeford, Maine, throughout 2015, also hacking my website and impersinating me while posting the name of the man in this court case all over the internet to make it look like I did it, even though I was offline and in the hospital dying at the time it happened?

Do you know who in the town hall is providing official government letterhead from the Code Enforcement Office, for this and other (yes, several others) fraudulent court cases filed by the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall against the LGBTQ citizens of our town?

If you know the answers to these questions or have any additional information about this case please contact the FBI agent in charge of the investigation:

Agent Andy Drewer

of the Portland FBI

@ 207-774-9322 












Seeing How "The Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach" Court Order Requires Me To Put This Notice In The Front Of The Novels,
I Assume It Also Requires I Put It In Front of Novel Excerpts Posted Online As Well, so, Here It Is... 

Enjoy The Stupidity That Is The
Town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine,
Where I Am Deemed,
In Their Words:

"Too Gay For The Family Friendly Town of Old Orchard Beach"
Because I'm The Author of The Quaraun Series.

INTRODUCTION TO THE SERIES

The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane

(Added March 29, 2016)

by

EelKat Wendy Christine Allen

~o0o~

UPDATE: The Old Orchard Beach Town Hall has handed me a court order requiring I place a warning in my books, warning you that they have their heads stuck up their asses, I mean, warning you that this book was written by a non-white transgender author and contains non-white, LGBTQ characters, which the straight, white citizens of Old Orchard Beach find offensive because they never before took their heads out of their asses long enough to notice that there exist in this world non-white people and gay transgender men. The HORROR I have forced them to discover, when they took their heads out of their asses long enough to discover a non-white, transgender author has lived in their town since 1975!

As of January 4, 2016 ALL gay, transgender, and non-white authors, living in the white power, gay-hating town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine are now required to add a warning to the front of their books, warning readers that this book is a vile, evil, perversion of their senses because it contains non-white, minority, transgender, and or gay characters who by their very existence according to the white power, gay hating residents of the 99.9% white town of Old Orchard Beach, Maine do not deserve to live and should not be included as characters in books.

Because I am a vile, evil, non-white, transgender author who lives in Old Orchard Beach, Maine, I am now required by court order to place warning in my books, to warn readers that this book was written by a vile, evil, non-white, transgender author and there for may contain references to my vile, evil, non-white, transgender lifestyle, including to, shock, and horror, ACTUALLY CONTAIN

....

Non-white characters

oh, my, my, my, how evil of me to consider writing a book with a person of colour in it. And even worse, is the fact that...wait for it...

I've gone so far as to allow gay transvestite characters to be in my books.

How shockingly evil of me to offend the citizens of Old Orchard Beach, by including gay and transgender characters in my book. I have forced them to have to discover the horror that there exists non-white people in our town, and worse, have made them suffer the horrors of learning that LGBTQ citizens have the right to live. How evil of me. To punish me for the publication of the book you are now reading, they filled my home with sewage 3 feet deep and cut the heads off of my cats, drove a backhoe over my house, then beat me up and left me paralyzed for 5 months, during which time they hacked my online accounts of Kboards, NaNoWriMo, Twitter and other places and impersonated me, posting lots of shitty crap to try to discredit me and destroy my reputation. If you are one of my long time readers and followers, you no dought saw what transpired on KBoards and NaNoWriMo (I did not see it and still do not know what happened, seeing how I was in the hospital dying, while the hacker was taking over my accounts online.)

18 months later I am out of the wheelchair, relearning to walk and still refusing to unpublish my evil books containing non-white gay men and so now they have gotten a court order demanding the warning you are now reading, be placed in this book, because the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall (the plaintiff named on the court order – YES – an actual United States Government Organization has issued this civil rights violating court order, in blatant disregard to federal laws) believes that non-whites and gays and transgender citizens are so evil that they QUOTE “ought to be shot in the head” UNQUOTE.

The book you are now holding contains non-white characters, of the same vile, evil non-white race as the non-white author who wrote this book and because I am not white and have chosen to include non-white characters in this book, I am now required by court order to warn my non-white readers that this book was written by evil, vile non-white me and contains evil, vile non-white characters that will offend your holier then though piece of shit white asses. There, I am now in compliance with the white power, gay hating town of Old Orchard Beach's, civil rights violating court order. White trash has now been warned that non-white trash exists in this book.

The book you are now holding contains LGBTQ characters, of the same vile, evil LGBTQ existence as the LGBTQ who wrote this book and because I am LGBTQ and have chosen to include LGBTQ characters in this book, I am now required by court order to warn my LGBTQ readers that this book was written by evil, vile LGBTQ me and contains evil, vile LGBTQ characters that will offend your holier then though piece of shit straight asses. There, I am now in compliance with the white power, gay hating town of Old Orchard Beach's, civil rights violating court order. Straight trash has now been warned that non-straight trash exists in this book.

If you have any questions regarding this court order which violates the civil rights of people of colour, minority races, and LGBTQ citizens, please head to the State of Maine, Biddeford District Court and ask for copies of

Docket #BDDC-PA-2015-00574 and CV-15-58/CV-15-59

the Alfred Superior Court Docket #CV-15-299

and the Portland Superior Law Court Docket #YOR-15-253

Additionally, you can find more information by going to the Old Orchard Beach Police Department and requesting copies of ALL police reports made in regards to 144, 146, and 146a Portland Avenue, from 2001 to 2016 (approximately 300 reports).

Note, that the court order includes 4 interesting facts:

1: It states that transgender people in Old Orchard Beach are not allowed to own cats; the Town Manager confiscated my cats on this basis (the judge granted this). 140 families in Old Orchard Beach had a grand total of more then 500 cats taken from them via this court order.  Many of those cats are being returned to their owners, one head nailed to their door at a time.

2: It states that transgender vehicles are not allowed in the town of Old Orchard Beach and specifically that The Transgender Awareness Tour Bus be removed from the "perimeters of the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach" (the judge denied this)

3: It states that transgender authors, not be allowed to publish books featuring transgender characters, and contains a list of books, deemed "Too gay for Old Orchard Beach" that the Town Hall requested be removed from publication. The judge ordered the removal and unpublication of 27 of my books, and that the rest have this warning placed in them.

4: That LGBTQ, non-white, non-Christians, and Muslims, not be allowed to set foot in Old Orchard Beach (with one motel owner in particular claiming his right to confiscate the homes, property, and business of some 140 families in Old Orchard Beach, by right of his desire to put condominiums on each of their properties. Interestingly, this is the same man who drove a backhoe over my house in 2013.) Part of this was passed, with the judge ordering LGBTQ families not allowed to set foot in their own homes (not rentals or apartments - houses they owned outright and owed no taxes or mortgages on, with 140 families be forced out of their homes on January 4, 2016. He dropped the request to confiscate homes of LGBTQ citizens when FBI Agent Andy Drewer Arrived to investigate him and the 5 businesses he owns, for his connection to the bomb that blew up my house in 2006.) Three court houses later a different judge overruled the first judge's civil rights violating order, with LGBTQ citizens being allowed to go home October 18, 2016, after 10 months of living in their cars.

Want to know the names, phone numbers, business locations, and home addresses of all the cat murdering, transphobic, gay-hating, white powered people who are trying to ban all LGBTQ and non-white citizens from Old Orchard Beach? Then go to those 3 court houses and request to get copies of all 700 pages of The Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach Court Case of Old Orchard Beach vs Wendy Christine Allen. 

All names and contact information of all the white power, gay hating  town hall officials, police officers, public works workers, motels, businesses, motel owners, business owners, and the KKK's own lawyers, behind this introduction now required to being added to books containing gay or non-white characters can be found in those court orders and police reports, here after collectively known as “The Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach Court Case” or #TooGayForOOB for short.

In those court dockets you will find more then 700 pages of utterly fascinating civil rights violating, animal abusing, hate crime glorifying, anti-gay, white power, transphobic lunacy. I highly recommend you get copies of those court dockets and see for yourself, the REALITY of how utterly insane the gay hating, white power mentality of Old Orchard Beach, really is. 

Or if you want to meet me at Staples, and are willing to pay however much it costs to have 700 pages of copies made, you can get copies made of my copy of the court order.

Happy reading.

Welcome to Maine, where love wins, everywhere, except in the white power, gay-hating town of Old Orchard Beach. TIP: If you are looking for a great fun summer family vacation spot this summer: avoid the transphobic, animal abusing, gay hating, white power town of Old Orchard Beach. This town is only family friendly, IF your family qualifies as a “real family” which to them means: you are white, Christian, and have no connections to LGBTQ people whatsoever. Save your hard earned money and DO NOT come to Old Orchard Beach this summer. Don't bother wasting your hard earned money on the transphobic, animal abusing, gay hating, white power trash that thinks it's okay to discriminate against people based on race, gender, religion, or colour.

There. Now I am in compliance with the court order and you, my dear reader have been warned that this book was written by evil, vile, perverted non-white, non-straight little old me and contains non-white, gay, transvestite characters. Can I ask: Have you EVER seen a book ANYWHERE that the author's town required the author to place a warning in the book, for ANY reason? Can anyone say RIDICULOUS? Yes, the town of Old Orchard Beach is being utterly ridiculous. I think they forgot that Old Orchard Beach is a town in America and not it's own country.

So, if you are a transphobic, gay-hating, white power person who is offended by the existence of transvestites, gays, non-Christians, people of colour, and other things that tick off white power mentalities, then you probably want to avoid these books.

For everybody else who isn't a white power, transphobic, gay-hating jerk with their head stuck up their own white, Christian ass: I hope you enjoy reading these books as much as I have enjoyed writing them. And for those of you who don't enjoy this sort of book, well, enjoy those knee-jerks, I'm told you guys should be expecting quite a few of them.

~EK

End of introduction.

And yet...


The First Amendment to the United States Constitution prohibits the making of any law respecting an establishment of religion, impeding the free exercise of religion, abridging the freedom of speech, infringing on the freedom of the press, interfering with the right to peaceably assemble or prohibiting the petitioning for a governmental redress of grievances. It was adopted on December 15, 1791, as one of the ten amendments that constitute the Bill of Rights.


The Town of Old Orchard Beach is a United States Government organization. By banning books and forcing their unpublication, they have gone against The First Amendment to the United States Constitution. 


No law can give or take away the choice to commit suicide.

- Maggie Gallagher


The homosexual community has more acceptance in America than it ever has, and the suicide rate is as high as it's always been.

- Randall Terry




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This article was originally written on: March 20, 2017

This page last updated on: March 20, 2017


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Seeing how on October 15, 2017, we reached 10,000 pages, I thought it'd be fun to update the Top 100 List and see where were were now.

Top 202 Most Viewed Pages Of 2017 So Far
(Out of 10,000 pages)

(January 2017 to October 2017)
(Excluding the Home PageAbout Page, and Site Map Page, which were the top 3)

  1. Amphibious Aliens: The Story of Etiole & The World's Most Haunted Car
  2. The GoldenEagle: An Auto-biography of the World's Most Haunted Car
  3. Medieval Servants: Their jobs and their place in historical fiction.
  4. How Long is 50,000 Words?
  5. On being a handicapped CosPlayer at PortCon Maine 2017
  6. Stephen King's The Thinner and The Gypsies Of Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  7. Writing Mute Characters
  8. Flamboyant Nipples: The KKK's New Gay Hating Site About Old Orchard Beach | The Site That Makes Fun of Terrorist Hate Crimes
  9. Writing Dares Random Generator
  10. Don't put flyers on people's cars...
  11. The Saco River Curse
  12. Our Primary Site Topic Is Small Penis? Reaching #1 on Page 1 of Google.
  13. Help FBI End Anti-Gay White Power Terrorist Attacks of Old Orchard Beach
  14. Creating Character Profiles | Meet The Characters | Who Is Quaraun?
  15. Introduction To The Quaraun Series: aka Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach
  16. The Dazzling Razzberry aka EelKat's Autism Awareness Car
  17. Autism, Asperger, PTSD, & Mad Cow: Writing Clinical Insanity Accurately | What is wrong with Quaraun? 
  18. Quaraun Free To Read Online Complete Chapter Index In Chronological Order
  19. Necromancy: Fact Vs Fiction; Or How Can You Be A Necromancer In Real Life?
  20. 600 Pages: Epic Big Super Sized Novels and Why You Should Never Write One
  21. Why Crude Adult Comedy and Pink Humor Yaoi Is Not Erotica
  22. The FBI In Old Orchard Beach, Maine Trying To Capture A Domestic Terrorist
  23. One Gypsy's Review of My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding
  24. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 1 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  25. Autism, Asperger's, And The Danger of The Self-Diagnosis
  26. Spell Casting Side Effects: Magic In Quaraun's Universe | Author Interview
  27. What Type of Music Does A Gypsy Listen To? My Top 10 Favorite Bands
  28. Beware of White Men In Gypsy Clothing: Fake Psychic Scams
  29. How long does it take to hit 1667 words?
  30. How to Write A Kiss
  31. Phookas
  32. Creating Character Profiles | Meet The Characters | Who Is GhoulSpawn?
  33. Albino Races - Moon Elves In The Quaraun Series
  34. Daily Writing Prompts (June 2017 Archive)
  35. My 30th Anniversary of Being Transgender
  36. Why Are The Quaraun Books Rated M18+
  37. How to Write Hot Sex - Tips For Erotic Romance Authors
  38. The Zaharam-Chapelle-Parunas Ethnographical World Building Questionnaire
  39. The Jiggler & The G-String Teddy Bears | The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane
  40. What exactly makes an Elf an Elf? (What is the definition of an Elf?)
  41. Online Income: The Reality vs The Fantasy
  42. World's Most Haunted Car Merchandise
  43. I Am Not GhoulSpawn | Excerpt From Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  44. Old Orchard Beach Hate Crimes
  45. BoomFuzzy Chapter 1 (Novel Excerpt - Quaraun The Insane)
  46. How can your books have gay transvestite characters and not be Erotica? or Why are gay haters beating up elderly woman for wearing pink for breast cancer awareness and saying she's a transexual because only transexuals wear pink?
  47. EelKat's Guide To NaNoWriMo Featuring The 13 Step Method To Writing
  48. Autism and the Stigmas - Why Can’t You Accept Me As Me?
  49. Maine UFO Sightings
  50. Page 11 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - The Scottish Traveller Crime Family
  51. Psychedelics In A 'High' High Fantasy World (High Elves Getting High)
  52. KBoards, The NaNoWriMo ML Rumor & The Vindictive Stalker
  53. Writing Racist Characters VS The Ku Klux Klan In Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  54. Captured By The Lich Lord | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  55. How To Build A Magic System
  56. I've everything but a kitchen sink. Wait, how'd that sink get in my pocket?
  57. Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies & The Ku Klux Klan of Old Orchard Beach
  58. Autistic Characters In Fiction
  59. City of The Slushies | Chapter 7 | Quaraun The Insane
  60. Manuscript Reading Services or Will You Read My Book and Tell Me What You Think?
  61. Suicide, Rape, and Abuse In The Quaraun Series
  62. Wizards vs Witches vs Sorcerers: How are they different? | Writing Fantasy Books
  63. FRED: Google's Most Deadly Update Ever?
  64. How To Write A Novel: Question Everything Before Putting It In Your World
  65. Content writing: How long do you spend creating a quality blog post?
  66. SBI: To Review or Not to Review? That Is The Question
  67. Twerking Dragons: The Joys Of Writing A Novel With A Voice Recorder
  68. A Day At Witch Pond & Fleeing To The Forest | Summoner of Darkness
  69. Transgender, Transsexual, Transvestite, or Intersex: What Is Quaraun?
  70. Sheep | GhoulSpawn The Crazed & The Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  71. Colour Magic - Gypsy Style
  72. Ideas, Ideas, Ideas (Where Do You Get Them?)
  73. Keywords & Pigeons: How I Do Local Business Marketing
  74. Quaraun & Autism In Fantasy Novels
  75. The Signs Of Old Orchard Beach & The FBI Investigation Of The Town Hall
  76. Tom Addams & The Warrior's Forum
  77. A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond | Summoner of Darkness
  78. An Elf and a Lich in the Gingerbread Pit | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  79. Markiplier Jacksepticeye and Pewdiepie Play Resident Evil 7
  80. Santa Claus: Lich Of The North Pole (Includes NSFW 18+ CBT Yaoi scene)
  81. A Motorhome named 'No Hurry' becomes Rosebud & The Story of Ten Kidnapped Cats
  82. Create Original Content aka I Hate Jackass Gutter Scum Thieves
  83. Lost In a Space That Isn't There: Going North To Head South
  84. An Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink Necromancer
  85. Aspergers is NOT Autism
  86. Is The Quaraun Series Erotica? - No! Here's why...
  87. Summoner of Darkness: GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A Phooka
  88. The Dungeon Master & The 1974 AMC Gremlin
  89. The Lich's True Form Revealed | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  90. Using work you already started for national novel writing month?
  91. World-building In The Quaraun Series: Creating a Fantasy World
  92. Books in Vacationland 2017
  93. BoomFuzzy's Gingerbread House From Hell
  94. Lets Playing Is No Longer Fun
  95. Santa's Floating Dead Body | A Scene From The Summoner of Darkness
  96. The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death
  97. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 2 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  98. What vlogging equipment is needed to get started as a YouTube vlogger?
  99. April 2015 Update: Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach: The Kidnapped Cats
  100. Betta Fish Aesthetic on Pinterest
  101. Domain Name Branding: Should You Put Your Brand Name In Your URL?
  102. Life As A YouTuber: How To Earn An Income From Making Videos
  103. Making YouTube Videos: How did you decide what content to make?
  104. Page 4 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  105. Twighilight Not Twilight
  106. YouTube Index
  107. Amphibious Aliens: My health since the stroke and Etiole . . .
  108. Are You A Satan Worshiper?
  109. Average Typing Speed
  110. Custom Leggings - Designs By EelKat
  111. Ernest Hemingway Style of Writing Literary Fiction Used In Epic Fantasy Novels
  112. Google Flagged Your Site! What To Do? (Help For Web Masters)
  113. How valuable is a writer’s group?
  114. Lives Destroyed: Amphibious Aliens 10th Anniversary Update
  115. Lost In a Space That Isn't There: Santa's Letter To Satan
  116. Summoner of Darkness: Quaraun Meets The Gremlin
  117. The Terrorists of Old Orchard Beach Put My Dad In a Coma
  118. Using Yahoo Answers to promote your book and author website.
  119. What Is This Site?
  120. You Stole My Idea - I was writing a book, but you already wrote it 10 years ago!
  121. City of The Slushies | Chapter 1 | Quaraun The Insane
  122. Creative Writing Story Prompts: September 2017 Edition
  123. Dungeons and Dragons: The Joys Of Calculating Gold Weight In AD&D 2ed
  124. Fabric Designed By EelKat
  125. My Fave YouTubers Play: Dream Daddy - The Yaoi Dad Dating Sim Otome Game
  126. Necromancy: How will resurrection affect society as a whole?
  127. Page 7 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  128. Pink Flowers Aesthetic on Pinterest
  129. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 12 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  130. What will a traveler encounter on the roads in your world?
  131. Are you insane? Am I? Let's Find Out...
  132. Becoming A Better Writer: How to write interesting dialogue.
  133. Character Creation
  134. Copper Cockeral Cards & Gifts
  135. Elves, Drugs, and Opium: A Look At The Drug Use In The Quaraun Books
  136. How To Stay Motivated To Write | Writing Fantasy Books
  137. Jewelry Fashions in Moon Elf Culture | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books
  138. Keyword Marketing - What to do when your best keywords are low demand
  139. Magic Systems and How to Build Them | Writing Fantasy Books
  140. NaNoWriMo Overachievers: How did you do it?
  141. Quaraun Cover Art Gallery | Fantasy Novel Book Cover Art
  142. Quaraun The Insane : Zebulon's Captive: The Last of The Moon Elves
  143. SEO Advantages of Embedding YouTube Videos On Your Website
  144. Summoner of Darkness: A Tavern Scene - Chastity Cages, and Whores
  145. Summoner of Darkness: The Return of ZooLock (free to read online)
  146. Twighlight Not Twilight Part 2
  147. Vanishing Books Update - Why 27 of my books were deleted off Amazon
  148. What is a God in Your Universe? | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books
  149. Writing Maine: How To Write About Maine Life Accurately
  150. What the Ocean Gives Me (How Things In Your Life Affect Your Writing)
  151. City of The Slushies | Chapter 14 | Quaraun The Insane
  152. February 10, 2008 - Harassment Continues in Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  153. How does a bestselling book become a bestseller?
  154. Marriage in Moon Elf Culture | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books
  155. People are not interested in long winded copy
  156. September 26, 2017 - The Latest Attack By The KKK on The Thinner Gypsies
  157. Spending Money To Make Money Online? Should You Do It?
  158. Summoner of Darkness: The Demon Cultists and The Coming of The Darkness
  159. Summoner of Darkness: The Map of The Town (novel free to read online)
  160. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt GOTY | Completionist Run: Episode 01
  161. Trespassers: April 2007 Updates
  162. Turning Scenes, Into Stories & Writing Travelogue Style Fantasy Books
  163. Where To Get Endless Ideas For Short Stories, Novels, and Articles
  164. Writing Controversial Books: Political Correctness & White Supremacists
  165. Are Bad Reviews Good For You?
  166. Branding Yourself While Avoiding The Scams | EelKat On Content Writing
  167. Child Sacrifice in Fantasy Novels | Writing Fantasy Books
  168. How to Handle Writing Fantasy-Horror That Features Violence Against Children
  169. How would you explain your Fantasy world to a stranger?
  170. Page 6 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  171. Summoner of Darkness: HellBorne The Evil, Lord of Black Tower
  172. The return of Friends Are Forever - Banned and Burned it's about to be reborn!
  173. Why do Lovecraftian beings come to earth?
  174. Writing Prompts Syndrome?
  175. Autism = The Crazy Cat Woman of Maine
  176. Autism: Understanding what is really going on inside the child’s head.
  177. But what exactly IS a full time income?
  178. Content Marketing & writing: How I write content for my website
  179. Do you write a novel start-to-finish?
  180. GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover: How To Kill a Lich
  181. How is it that the church leaders are claiming you do not pay tithes?
  182. How To Write A Novel: In what order do you create your world?
  183. I loved my children but I loved BoomFuzzy more | From Quaraun The Insane
  184. My Two Favorite People: FarDarrig and The Baby That Never Should Have Been
  185. Need help writing characters of color | EelKat on racist white readers
  186. Quaraun and the Amazon Adult Filter
  187. Quaraun GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover: The Lover's Triangle
  188. Summoner of Darkness: Where Are You Hiding That Horse?
  189. Tired of people who don’t care. :( Tired of the harassment. :(
  190. What would happen if an Elf adopted a Human baby? | Writing Fantasy Books
  191. Page 10 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  192. Page 3 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  193. Page 8 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach
  194. SCRIPT FRENZY 2010: I WON! & Psycho Stalker Attacks
  195. Wristlets, Wrist Bags, Mini Clutch, Cosmetic Bags, and Designer Mini Purses
  196. Writing Your Novel: Do you save chapters as individual files?
  197. Are old AD&D adventures still any use to current players?
  198. Autistics Have Feelings Too & Diverse Books Rant
  199. Be True To You: YouTube Gamers: "Faking" a personality until you make it?
  200. City of The Slushies | Chapter 10 | Quaraun The Insane
  201. HEA in Erotica (Should You Write Happily Ever Afters?)
  202. Stephen King's Thinner Gypsies



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