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Quaraun The Insane:
Night of the Screaming Unicorn
Bizarre Yaoi Fantasy
Free To Read Online
Chapter Index


Volume 1: The Night of The Screaming Unicorn

Wounded, depressed, and on the run, the Pink Necromancer heads home for Inuvijk, Quebec planning to kill himself upon arriving back at the location of his lover's death, 300 years prior. Sidetracked when the Forest of No Return grows up around him and cuts off his path, Quaraun sidetracks to the coast to by-pass the sentient forest. But a hurricane crashing up the Maine coast sends him fleeing for shelter at an enchanted tavern which suddenly appears out of no where. 

Too late Quaraun realizes he's walked into a trap set by an evil Faerie and must survive a night with a sex crazed undead unicorn: The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley himself, King Gwallmaiic, leader of the Lich Lords.

Read Sample Chapters Free Online:


The Elf Eater's Map



*Captured By The Lich Lord  (NSFW | 18+)



BedTime Stories For A Lich: ZooLock & The Pixie



An Elf and a Lich in the Gingerbread Pit



The Lich's True Form Revealed 



Want to see the location this novel is set in?
Follow me as I drive to and
take a walking tour through The Reclaim Blueberry Plains
of the Ross Forest, in
Old Orchard Beach, Maine,
The setting for
Night of The Screaming Unicorn:




Ads by Google

A summary of the book deemed too gay for old orchard beach, maine:

NOTE: This is Bizarro Yaoi Monster Porn and contains knotting.

Here is the book that started the hate crimes:

Do YOU think THIS BOOK is "Too gay for Old Orchard Beach"?

A small, thin, sick, and very suicidally depressed, opium addicted, 300 year old Transvestite albino Moon Elf Necromancer, with an parasitic alien Jellyfish living in his brain and telling him what to do, and has white hair longer than Rapunzel's, and is wearing a pink sequin dress and a feather boa, has pointed ears a foot tall and 3 dozen ear rings in each, all connected by chains to the dozen more rings in his nose, and happens the be the most powerful wizard on the planet, but you don't want him pointing his wand at you because he can't lay off the drugs long enough to get his spells right, has just fled a Human Tavern, where he was mistaken by the Humans for being a 20-something female prostitute, and narrowly escaped a gang bang rape, but not before one of the Humans ran a sword through his belly. He was at the tavern to drink himself into an oblivion, because his lover had commit suicide.

Now terrified, wounded, on the run from a band of Humans, carrying a stolen DracoLich in his pocket that s bigger on the inside, higher then heck,  and talking to a map that is talking back to him, the very high High Elf flees to the coast hoping to find a flying ship on which to leave the planet. Before he gets there however a massive storm rises out of no-where, forcing him to seek shelter in yet another tavern, this one called The Screaming Unicorn, and surrounded by giant pine trees that have up rooted and are walking around, while hundreds purple cartoon puppy dogs bound around for no reason. (I'll point out that this is the 1400's and The Screaming Unicorn tavern has a very 1970s neon bar sign that says “Screaming Unicorn” flashing in bold bright colours.)


88,589 / 33,000 words.
284 pages.
Published!

At The Screaming Unicorn, the Elf meets a 2,000 year old, drug dealing, candy making, poppy growing, shape-shifting Faerie Horse (a Phooka), known to the locals as The Screaming Unicorn. (In Scottish mythology a Phooka is the evil black version of a Unicorn, Unicorns always being good and white). The Elf, knowing that Phookas are notorious for their habit of eating everyone they meet, tries to leave only to find the tavern was never there, the whole thing was an illusion and he's now caught in the evil Fae's trap, as he realizes too late he's been tossed down an oubliette, which contains a bedroom fit for a porn star.

Two hundred years prior to this: The Elf's lover, a Faerie and fellow Necromancer killed himself in a Lich making ritual, that went horribly wrong. His lover's soul was lost in a burning hell dimension and his body reduced to bones. The Elf attempted to finish the spell to resurrect his lover as a Lich, but not yet being a Necromancer had no idea how to cast the spell, and sent his lovers soul to live in the body of an ice sculpture shaped like a unicorn. The ice golem vanished leaving the Elf alone with no idea how to find the soul of his dead lover. And the past 200 years he has spent his life travelling around the world, drinking in taverns and casting weird mismade spells to try to bring his lover back to life – and at some point, unknown to the Elf, it worked, his lover was resurrected as a demonic unicorn lich.


100,372 / 50,000 words.
327/ 160 pages.
Published!

Back at The Screaming Unicorn Tavern, the tavern has melted away and turned into the ruins of a castle, long ago crumbled away. The Elf, thinking himself mortally wounded, a failure as a wizard, and about to be eaten by a monster, simply gives up and waits for the Unicorn to kill him, not realizing the Unicorn is in fact his now undead resurrected lover.

The Unicorn realizing the Elf does not recognize him, not knowing the Elf has a serious injury, and still being angry because of a fight they had had just before he'd commit suicide, decides to tie the Elf up and torture him, which leads to  anal sex with a monster that has four inch long thorns growing out of his Fresian stallion penis.

And that is the entire 271 page story reduced to a single page summary.












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The Quaraun Series On Amazon:

I am wondering why has Amazon moved the Quaraun books to the category "Transgender Romance" and also "Gay Erotica"? The base story is a deeply depressed, suicidal, drug addict Elf who's lover commit suicide and he's trying not to do the same. It's an old Elf in a tavern, monologuing a lot of flashbacks and back story scenes of his youth. These stories are dark, bloody, angsty, full of drug use, murder, rape, Medieval torture, mental/physical/emotional abuse, and references to depression and suicide - no romance in it, unless you count the occasional (and usually brutally violent) rape scenes that show up in nearly every volume - sorry - no clue what Amazon is thinking or why they moved these to Romance and Erotica, but these books are NOT even close to being Romance or Erotica on any level at all. When I published these books I put them in "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi". If they show up in any category other then "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi", it's because Amazon put them there without my authorization or approval.

~EelKat



Author Interviews
On Writing The Quaraun Series:


Author Interviews
On CosPlaying The Quaraun Characters:


Author Interviews
Reacting To Old Orchard Beach's
White Power Gay Hating Over Reaction Ban
Of The Quaraun Series:


The 4 door white truck continues to sit at the end of my drive way (146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine) near every night around sunset, reeving it's engine and squealing it's tires, with the driver yelling anti-gay threats and obscenities out the window. He continues to do the same thing at my dad's apartment building (Biddeford Maine) a few times a week, usually in mid to late afternoon time. He continues to follow me to shopping to various stores in various towns throughout the states.

Phrases he yells from the truck include:

"Kill or be killed remember Saco Shaws all transsexuals are alike"

"I keep a gun under the seat of my truck, I'm gonna use it to shoot you in the head, you transvestite freak"

if cars are going by he yells to them: "that thing is Ken's son, look at how's it's dressed; it's insane, it has autism, we can't allow that thing and it's gay cars in our family friend town of Old Orchard Beach"

He often babbles deranged ramblings about something he calls "the gay-pocalypse", raving lunacy about how "all the gays are gathering" on his doorstep. He raves some crazy nonsense about how Armageddon is coming and the war to end all wars will be "the gays against the Christians" and Christians have to be ready to "kill the gays"

My car is the Autism Awareness Car and had 2.5million marbles glued to it (I have Autism - savant - Kanner's syndrome) he claims tat my car "is gay" because of what it looks like. My car has been vandalized several dozen times, including to have the tires slashed 7 times in 6 months.

After dark often around 10PM, he stands at the end of the logging road across the street from me and shoots at my motohome (in February 2014 he shot holes in my neighbour's barn while doing this). I have video footage of 3 of his shootings at me here:  https://youtu.be/NUebzJ9sz9U and here: https://youtu.be/C4dZbgG-Smw

This has gone on since August 2013 now, in addition to all the vandalism, hate crimes, pet beheadings, etc that has happened, including the bomb that blew up our house in 2006.

As you know, that whole time I had not been able to get a plate number on the truck. He as just here again, and I just realized why I could not get a plate number... there are no plates on the truck, either on the front or on the back. However, as he was driving away today... I noticed, there is a plate, stuck up in the back window of the truck, where it can barely be seen, deliberately obscured from view behind a silver tool box.





If You Like The Quaraun Series You Might Also Like:


Writing Resources I Use When Writing The Quaraun Books:



The Dungeons & Dragons Articles:



Meet My D&D Player Characters:

 The Chaotic Neutral Mind Flayer Wizard-Priest

(ZooLock the Great)

Lawful Good Space Cat

(Empress EelKat)

The Chaotic Evil Faerie (Phooka/Unicorn) Illusionist Necromancer

(King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn aka The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley)

The Chaotic Good Gnome Illusionist/Thief

(BeaLuna the Faerie Hunter)

The Chaotic Neutral Half-Dwarf/Half-Troll Barbarian

(Bullgaar the Vulgar)


Sadly I've not played in a D&D game group since I was beaten up at Southern Maine Community College (SMCC) November 14, 2013 and left paralyzed for 5 months, relearned to walk for 18 months, and am still now in 207 crippled and with very limited mobility. A 4 door white truck left the scene.

The FBI believes this attacker to be the same person who blew up my house with a bomb on October 18, 2006.

The 4-door white truck has Maine plate #: 1459 US.

More information can be found HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE.

If you know the driver of this truck, they are wanted for 2 counts of attempted murder, the bombing of my house, the kidnapping of my cats, the murder/beheading of my cousin, and more than 200 terrorist attacks on LGBTQ residents of Old Orchard Beach, Maine. Please give any information you have to the identity of this very dangerous criminal to:

FBI Agent 
Andy Drewer 
@ (207) 774-9322  



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Please Note: The Quaraun Series Is Rated M18+ and you must be 18 or older to buy it.

Most pages on EelKat.com are about writing Yaoi, and thus probably is NSFW; reader discretion is advised.

Why is the Quaraun Series Rated M18+?


Top 50 Most Visited Pages

  1. Medieval Servants: Their jobs and their place in historical fiction.
  2. Amphibious Aliens: The Story of Etiole & The World's Most Haunted Car
  3. On being a handicapped CosPlayer at PortCon Maine 2017
  4. Flamboyant Nipples: The KKK's New Gay Hating Site About Old Orchard Beach
  5. The GoldenEagle: An Auto-biography of the World's Most Haunted Car
  6. How Long is 50,000 Words?
  7. Writing Mute Characters
  8. Autism, Asperger, PTSD, & Mad Cow: What is wrong with Quaraun? (Writing A Clinically Insane Character Accurately)
  9. Writing Dares Random Generator
  10. Stephen King's The Thinner and The Gypsies Of Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  11. The Saco River Curse
  12. Don't put flyers on people's cars...
  13. Our Primary Site Topic Is Small Penis? Reaching #1 on Page 1 of Google.
  14. Why Crude Adult Comedy and Pink Humor Yaoi Is Not Erotica
  15. Quaraun Free To Read Online Complete Chapter Index In Chronological Order
  16. Albino Races - Moon Elves In The Quaraun Series
  17. Help FBI End Anti-Gay White Power Terrorist Attacks of Old Orchard Beach
  18. Autism, Asperger's, And The Danger of The Self-Diagnosis
  19. 600 Pages: Epic Big Super Sized Novels and Why You Should Never Write One
  20. The Jiggler & The G-String Teddy Bears | The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane
  21. Spell Casting Side Effects: Magic In Quaraun's Universe | Author Interview
  22. Necromancy: Fact Vs Fiction; Or How Can You Be A Necromancer In Real Life?
  23. The Dazzling Razzberry aka EelKat's Autism Awareness Car
  24. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 1 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  25. Markiplier Jacksepticeye and Pewdiepie Play Resident Evil 7
  26. What Type of Music Does A Gypsy Listen To? My Top 10 Favorite Bands
  27. World's Most Haunted Car Merchandise
  28. Is It a Novel, a Novella, a Short Story or Something Else?
  29. I Am Not GhoulSpawn | Excerpt From Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  30. BoomFuzzy Chapter 1 (Novel Excerpt - Quaraun The Insane)
  31. Psychedelics In A 'High' High Fantasy World (High Elves Getting High)
  32. World-building In The Quaraun Series: Creating a Fantasy World
  33. City of The Slushies | Chapter 7 | Quaraun The Insane
  34. How to Handle Writing Fantasy-Horror That Features Violence Against Children
  35. How To Write A Stage Play Script Frenzy 2010 Writing Dialogue
  36. Quaraun GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover: The Lover's Triangle
  37. An Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink Necromancer
  38. A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond | Summoner of Darkness
  39. The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death
  40. Amphibious Aliens: My health since the stroke and Etiole . . .
  41. Beware of White Men In Gypsy Clothing: Fake Psychic Scams
  42. Online Income: The Reality vs The Fantasy
  43. OtherKin: My 30th Anniversary of Being Transgender
  44. Autism and the Stigmas - Why Can’t You Accept Me As Me?
  45. Old Orchard Beach Hate Crimes
  46. Suicide, Rape, and Abuse In The Quaraun Series
  47. Writing Racist Characters VS The Ku Klux Klan In Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  48. A Gallery of Fetish Shoes
  49. Custom Leggings - Designs By EelKat
  50. EGL: Elegant Gothic Lolita

Where to get ideas

  1. Story Prompts & Writing Dares
  2. Ideas, Ideas, Ideas (Where Do You Get Them?)
  3. Daily Writing Prompts June 2017

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.



The Quaraun Series On Amazon:

I am wondering why has Amazon moved the Quaraun books to the category "Transgender Romance" and also "Gay Erotica"? The base story is a deeply depressed, suicidal, drug addict Elf who's lover commit suicide and he's trying not to do the same. It's an old Elf in a tavern, monologuing a lot of flashbacks and back story scenes of his youth. These stories are dark, bloody, angsty, full of drug use, murder, rape, Medieval torture, mental/physical/emotional abuse, and references to depression and suicide - no romance in it, unless you count the occasional (and usually brutally violent) rape scenes that show up in nearly every volume - sorry - no clue what Amazon is thinking or why they moved these to Romance and Erotica, but these books are NOT even close to being Romance or Erotica on any level at all. When I published these books I put them in "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi". If they show up in any category other then "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi", it's because Amazon put them there without my authorization or approval.

~EelKat