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Quaraun the Insane:
GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover:
How To Kill a Lich

Quaraun the Insane:
GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover: 
How To Kill a Lich

 Quaraun woke up to the sounds of a scuffle. He sat up, blinking and looking around, trying to remember where he was and wondering who was fighting. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the bright mid morning sun, before he realized GhoulSpawn and Unicorn were fighting. Or rather Unicorn was beating up GhoulSpawn.

GhoulSpawn was on the ground, trying to shield his face from the blows, with his arms as Unicorn sat on top of the half-Elf punching him over and over again. Quaraun didn't know what to do. Unicorn was had many times his strength. Even he and GhoulSpawn together did not have half the strength of the undead Phooka.

Quaraun looked around wondering if there was anything he could use to help the half-Elf, but his attention was brought back to the fight when he heard GhoulSpawn's gurgled, chocking screams. Unicorn now had his hands clenched tight on the Sun Elf's throat, strangling him. The poor half-Elf was struggling desperately against the undead beast. Quaraun knew he had to do something to break them up before Unicorn killed GhoulSpawn.

"No! Please!" Quaraun cried as he scrambled to his feet and ran to Unicorn, grabbing hold of his shoulders and trying to pulling him off GhoulSpawn. "Please don't hurt him. Stop. Please stop. Please!"

Unicorn let go of GhoulSpawn, briefly. Long enough to swing around and punch Quaraun, knocking the Moon Elf to the ground.



Gypsy Decor Images Provided By Amazon

 GhoulSpawn was gasping and chocking, trying to breath, too dizzy to get away, before Unicorn pounced on him again, this time biting the half-Elf, sinking his fangs deep into GhoulSpawn's throat drawing blood.

"No!" Quaraun screamed. "Don't! Please don't!"

Quaraun knew the Vampire Lich would tear the half-Elf apart in seconds, if he didn't do something to stop the enraged undead creature. Quaraun's mind was reeling as he tried to think of what to do, how to stop the angry Phooka was eating his friend.

Suddenly, Quaraun remembered that he was a Necromancer with power over the dead and Unicorn was undead and could be controlled. Quickly Quaraun reached into his beaded, heart shaped bag and pulled out one of the charcoal twigs he used to black his eyes, grabbed hold of Unicorn's left hand, and used the charred willow stick to write a spell in Elvish on the Lich's hand.

 Immediately, Unicorn let go of the half-Elf and turned on Quaraun, grabbing the Moon Elf and slamming him down hard on the ground, then standing up and stepping away, while trying to rub the black soot letters off of his hand. The letters would not come off, held mystically in place by the spell Quaraun had started to cast.

Unicorn backed away. His eyes wide with fear and he held onto his hand staring at the writing, then looking back at Quaraun, who was still laying on the ground, dazed from having hit his head when he fell.

Both Elves struggled to get back up, but GhoulSpawn was too weak and close to fainting and Quaraun was trembling so bad from fright that he could barely steady himself.







 Unicorn continued to back away. GhoulSpawn didn't know what Quaraun had done. He had never seen Unicorn look frightened before. He could not have imagined that a Lich could become frightened, but there was no mistaking the look of absolute terror in Unicorn's eyes as he continued to stare at Quaraun with a look that silently pleaded the question: "Why?"

Quaraun crawled over to GhoulSpawn.

"Are you alright?"

"He tried to kill me," GhoulSpawn gasped, still trying to catch his breath.

"I know."

"What did you do to him?"

Quaraun looked at Unicorn. The Phooka was looking down at the writing on his hand, still trembling with fear and furiously rubbing at the writing trying to make it come off.

"Something I think he didn't know I knew how to do. I’m a Necromancer. I can control the dead. He’s dead. We both forget that some times."

Quaraun stayed beside GhoulSpawn nursing his injuries, for the next several hours. Unicorn sat down on the ground several feet away, and held on to his hand, while staring at the letters and symbols Quaraun had drawn on it.

Unicorn looked up when a shadow moved across him. Quaraun was standing over him looking down at him. As soon as he saw the Moon Elf, he lept up and ran away. Quaraun went after him.



Lich Art Images Provided By Amazon



 "Please don't go. Please," Quaraun called out the Lich. "Please. I didn't want to hurt you, I just wanted you to stop. He's my friend, I couldn't watch you kill him. Please. I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do."

Quaraun moved closer to Unicorn, but the Phooka quickly took several steps back, keeping several feet of distance between himself and the Necromancer.

"Please." Quaraun reached his hands out to take Unicorn's hand, but Unicorn backed away even farther. "Please don't be afraid of me. Let me undo it. Please. I don't want to hurt you. I love you."

"Ya tried to kill me."

"I'm sorry."

"Ya was going to kill me."

"I know."

"Why?"

"You're already dead. He's not. He still has life. You don't. You only have as much life as I give you. He's still alive. I couldn't let you kill him."

"Ya loves him."

"I love you."

"Ya woulds kill me to save him."

"Please let me remove it."

"Yis Necromancer."

"You knew that."

"I is dead thing."

"Please let me remove it."

"Ya was gonna make me die un stay dead forevers."

Quaraun saw fear in the Phooka's eyes. He'd never seen Unicorn scared before.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do. You were killing him. Please let me remove it."

"Ya loves him."

"I love you."

"Given choice of me or him, ya choose him."

Tears streamed down the Phooka's face. Quaraun could feel Unicorn's heart breaking. The pain of betrayal filled his chest. Quaraun felt terrible at making Unicorn feel like this.

Quaraun reached out and placed his hand on Unicorn's face.

 "I choose life over death, not him over you. It's easier to save life then restore it. I knew you'd let go of him before I finished the spell. Or at least I had hoped you would. I didn't want to hurt you."

Quaraun knelt before Unicorn holding the hand he had started writing the spell on.

"I never want to hurt you."

"Ya was gonna erase me from existence."

Quaraun kissed Unicorn's check.

"Please forgive me. I just wanted you to stop hurting him. That's all I wanted. I did it with no malice. Don't you know that? We are soul bound. You should feel that. You should know I meant you no harm." Tears were streaming down Quaraun's cheeks. "Why don't you feel it?"

"I shut it out. I does no wants to feel what ya feel anymore."

"W...Why?"

"Ya cheated on me. Ya think I did not know that? Ya think I did not know hows ya felt for GhoulSpawn? Him been popping into our life for years now un ya has lust for him whole time. Ya think I did no feel that all them years? I feel everything ya feels, Quaraun. Ya has been wanting him to fuck ya for very long time. Ya think it does no hurt me that ya gets excited every time ya looks at him? We is soul bound, Quaraun. Did ya think I would no know feelings ya had for him? Feelings ya used to have for me..."

"I still love..."

"I know ya still love me. I feel that too. But ya heart is torn between me un him un when ya had to choose one of us ya chose him."

"No. Unicorn please. I just didn't want you to kill him. I wasn't choosing him over you."

"What would hae happened had I no caught the two of ya fucking?"

"I don't know."



Lich Art Images Provided By Amazon



 "Do ya think ya could hae hidden it from me? How were ya gonna do that, eh? We is soul bound. I knows what sensations ya feel when ya being fucked. I feel it when I fuck ya Quaraun, I feel everything ya feel. Just as ya does. Ya feels every sensation I feel while I is inside ya. Yes? It why sex with yis so special. Ya can'na feel those sensations with anyone else. I can'na feel those sensations with no one else. We soul bound un it make sex different for us. I knew moment him started touching ya, because I felt thrill ya was feeling as him slid his fingers across ya body. I felt it as his hard cock slid into ya ass. I felt the escasty ya felt, the fear un thrill at the danger of getting caught. I felt it just as if it were happening to me. Because we is soul bound un nothing that happens to one of us can be done without other feeling it. How long were ya gonna try to hide what ya did with him, before ya remembered I was feeling every bit of it as it were happening to ya?"

"I'm sorry." Quaraun felt so ashamed.

"No. Ya not. Ya not sorry Quaraun..."

"I am."

"No. I can feel what ya feel, un sorry is not the emotion ya feeling. Shame is what ya feel. Yis ashamed of what ya felt. Yis ashamed that ya enjoyed it. But yis not sorry that ya enjoyed it un ya wishes ya could feel it again. If ya was sorry, ya would be repulsed at the memory, not wishing for more of it. And that why I now block out ya feelings. I does no wish to feel how strongly ya wants to feel him in ya again."

Quaraun said nothing as he took Unicorn's hand and undid the spell he had started, erasing the words from the undead creature's hand.







 "I am sorry I tried to killed you," Quaraun said afterwards. "I love you and I don't want anything to happen to you. Please believe that."

"I do. I can feel the anguish in ya heart at thought what ya almost did to me. Yis sorry for that much."

Quaraun was silent for several minutes. He thought about what Unicorn had said, about blocking out his feelings and wondered how long the Phooka had been doing this. How much of what Unicorn really felt, was he shielding from Quaraun, not allowing Quaraun to feel it with him. Quaraun had not felt Unicorn's sorrow, his jealousy, his anger. Quaraun suspected Unicorn had been shielding quite a lot.

"How can we fix this?" Quaraun asked.

"Does ya want to?"

"I love you. You must feel that."

"I do. I know ya love me. And I know ya loves him too."

"Can I not love you both?"

“Does ya want to love us both?”

“I don't know.”

“Him alive with real body of soft warm flesh. I dead thing, hard un cold un require spell to maintain the illusion of lifenessness. Ya has more reason to wants him then me.”

“I love you. I hurt you. For that I am sorry. I never wanted to hurt you and I've hurt you just as I hurt my BoomFuzzy.”


Ads by Google

Volume 22: GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lord's Lover

A portal opens up in their path and unexpectedly zaps Quaraun and Unicorn into the middle of the American Civil War, landing them right in the Confederate Army Camp. Mistaking Unicorn for an escaped slave and the French Canadian Quaraun for being an underground railway freedom fight for the North, they both find themselves in irons in front of a firing squad. 

But one should never try to fight the world's most powerful Necromancer in a battle field of dead soldiers, especially not when he also has a Lich at his command.

With the Americans left to fight hoards of zombies, Quaraun and Unicorn escape to the nearby woods, where they discover the past, isn't what they thought it was, and this war, is actually a thousand years in the future... when Humans have progressed too far and are fast destroying themselves and their planet.

In a future after the Battle of Ongadada has already happened, wandering through fields of crashed planes, downed rockets, and dead autos, and worrying about the moon that is now shattered into millions of asteroids, another portal opens up, this one dropping the Chaos Demon GhoulSpawn into the Pink Necromancer's bed.

The three must work together to find their way back to the 1400s where they belong, but the growing relationship between Quaraun and GhoulSpawn has Unicorn venting his Lichish fury on the locals. 


Trapped In The Civil War



The Scared Necromancer



Someone's Eating The Moon



Down By the River



GhoulSpawn and the Drunk Necromancer



Two Lovers, Two Armies, and an Angry Lich



How To Kill a Lich



The Lover's Triangle 



Things You May Not Have Known about GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lord's Lover


It took a grand total of 17 days to plot, outline, write, edit, format, create the cover art, and publish GhoulSpawn & The Lich Lord's Lover, making it my "fastest written" novel ever. 

The text itself was written in a single weekend.


This was the first story in the series to say what colour Unicorn's skin was. While other stories said he was "dark" and EVERY story describes his massive frizzy woolly dreadlocked hair, this was the first story to specifically call him "black" and has racist Civil War solider characters calling him "a niggar".


GhoulSpawn and the Lich Lord's Lover is the most returned novel in the series, with 97% of all copies sold to American readers being returned for a refund. However American sales make up only 5% of the total sales of the Quaraun series, with most of my readership being in Japan,  Germany, and Brazil.


GhoulSpawn and the Lich Lord's Lover is the first volume of the series to show Quaraun having sex with someone other then Unicorn.


I have received more then a 100 emails from angry white power Americans (most of them residents of Maine) who have informed me that upon the discovery the series contained a non-white character, they would read no further books of the series unless I rewrote them to make Unicorn a white man.

More then a dozen emails coplained that there was "no such thing as a black Scotsman", stating that all Scottish people were white.


Scotland has had black kings, and in the 1400s, the time period of the series, not only did Scotland have a black king, but you were MORE LIKELY to encounter a short/pygmy black or brown skinned NATIVE Scotsmen wearing furs, then a tall, red-haired white one wearing kilts, as the "British Invasion of Alba" had not yet happened and kilts (a British invention) would not be invented until the 1800s.


Several people have pointed out that silk kimono are Asian not Scottish and that a Scottish king should not be wearing them. Actually, in the 1400s Persian Gypsies lived in Scotland, and had brought bright coloured silk kimono with them. It was not uncommon for the black and brown skinned Scottish tribal leaders to wear silk kimono in the 1400s.

Meaning Unicorn's being a half-Asian and half-black man, wearing fur wraps and plaid great kilts over silk kimono, is in fact historically accurate for a 1400s Scottish king.


As stated in The Night of the Screaming Unicorn, King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy The Unicorn, was born in Scotland, but is not Scottish by blood. His father being a black man from the Sepik Region of Papua New Guinea and his mother being a Japanese woman.

His father is a Phooka (a black demon) and his mother is an Aswang (an Asian demon).

In every story he is described as "looking like a dark skinned Asian". Which makes me wonder how readers did not know he was not white, prior to the release of this novel in particular.









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The Quaraun Series On Amazon:

I am wondering why has Amazon moved the Quaraun books to the category "Transgender Romance" and also "Gay Erotica"? The base story is a deeply depressed, suicidal, drug addict Elf who's lover commit suicide and he's trying not to do the same. It's an old Elf in a tavern, monologuing a lot of flashbacks and back story scenes of his youth. These stories are dark, bloody, angsty, full of drug use, murder, rape, Medieval torture, mental/physical/emotional abuse, and references to depression and suicide - no romance in it, unless you count the occasional (and usually brutally violent) rape scenes that show up in nearly every volume - sorry - no clue what Amazon is thinking or why they moved these to Romance and Erotica, but these books are NOT even close to being Romance or Erotica on any level at all. When I published these books I put them in "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi". If they show up in any category other then "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi", it's because Amazon put them there without my authorization or approval.

~EelKat



Author Interviews
On Writing The Quaraun Series:


Author Interviews
On CosPlaying The Quaraun Characters:


Author Interviews
Reacting To Old Orchard Beach's
White Power Gay Hating Over Reaction Ban
Of The Quaraun Series:


The 4 door white truck continues to sit at the end of my drive way (146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine) near every night around sunset, reeving it's engine and squealing it's tires, with the driver yelling anti-gay threats and obscenities out the window. He continues to do the same thing at my dad's apartment building (Biddeford Maine) a few times a week, usually in mid to late afternoon time. He continues to follow me to shopping to various stores in various towns throughout the states.

Phrases he yells from the truck include:

"Kill or be killed remember Saco Shaws all transsexuals are alike"

"I keep a gun under the seat of my truck, I'm gonna use it to shoot you in the head, you transvestite freak"

if cars are going by he yells to them: "that thing is Ken's son, look at how's it's dressed; it's insane, it has autism, we can't allow that thing and it's gay cars in our family friend town of Old Orchard Beach"

He often babbles deranged ramblings about something he calls "the gay-pocalypse", raving lunacy about how "all the gays are gathering" on his doorstep. He raves some crazy nonsense about how Armageddon is coming and the war to end all wars will be "the gays against the Christians" and Christians have to be ready to "kill the gays"

My car is the Autism Awareness Car and had 2.5million marbles glued to it (I have Autism - savant - Kanner's syndrome) he claims tat my car "is gay" because of what it looks like. My car has been vandalized several dozen times, including to have the tires slashed 7 times in 6 months.

After dark often around 10PM, he stands at the end of the logging road across the street from me and shoots at my motohome (in February 2014 he shot holes in my neighbour's barn while doing this). I have video footage of 3 of his shootings at me here:  https://youtu.be/NUebzJ9sz9U and here: https://youtu.be/C4dZbgG-Smw

This has gone on since August 2013 now, in addition to all the vandalism, hate crimes, pet beheadings, etc that has happened, including the bomb that blew up our house in 2006.

As you know, that whole time I had not been able to get a plate number on the truck. He as just here again, and I just realized why I could not get a plate number... there are no plates on the truck, either on the front or on the back. However, as he was driving away today... I noticed, there is a plate, stuck up in the back window of the truck, where it can barely be seen, deliberately obscured from view behind a silver tool box.





If You Like The Quaraun Series You Might Also Like:


Writing Resources I Use When Writing The Quaraun Books:



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The Dungeons & Dragons Articles:



Meet My D&D Player Characters:

 The Chaotic Neutral Mind Flayer Wizard-Priest

(ZooLock the Great)

Lawful Good Space Cat

(Empress EelKat)

The Chaotic Evil Faerie (Phooka/Unicorn) Illusionist Necromancer

(King Gwallmaiic aka BoomFuzzy the Unicorn aka The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley)

The Chaotic Good Gnome Illusionist/Thief

(BeaLuna the Faerie Hunter)

The Chaotic Neutral Half-Dwarf/Half-Troll Barbarian

(Bullgaar the Vulgar)


Sadly I've not played in a D&D game group since I was beaten up at Southern Maine Community College (SMCC) November 14, 2013 and left paralyzed for 5 months, relearned to walk for 18 months, and am still now in 207 crippled and with very limited mobility. A 4 door white truck left the scene.

The FBI believes this attacker to be the same person who blew up my house with a bomb on October 18, 2006.

The 4-door white truck has Maine plate #: 1459 US.

More information can be found HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE.

If you know the driver of this truck, they are wanted for 2 counts of attempted murder, the bombing of my house, the kidnapping of my cats, the murder/beheading of my cousin, and more than 200 terrorist attacks on LGBTQ residents of Old Orchard Beach, Maine. Please give any information you have to the identity of this very dangerous criminal to:

FBI Agent 
Andy Drewer 
@ (207) 774-9322  



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Please Note: The Quaraun Series Is Rated M18+ and you must be 18 or older to buy it.

Most pages on EelKat.com are about writing Yaoi, and thus probably is NSFW; reader discretion is advised.

Why is the Quaraun Series Rated M18+?


Top 50 Most Visited Pages

  1. Medieval Servants: Their jobs and their place in historical fiction.
  2. Amphibious Aliens: The Story of Etiole & The World's Most Haunted Car
  3. On being a handicapped CosPlayer at PortCon Maine 2017
  4. Flamboyant Nipples: The KKK's New Gay Hating Site About Old Orchard Beach
  5. The GoldenEagle: An Auto-biography of the World's Most Haunted Car
  6. How Long is 50,000 Words?
  7. Writing Mute Characters
  8. Autism, Asperger, PTSD, & Mad Cow: What is wrong with Quaraun? (Writing A Clinically Insane Character Accurately)
  9. Writing Dares Random Generator
  10. Stephen King's The Thinner and The Gypsies Of Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  11. The Saco River Curse
  12. Don't put flyers on people's cars...
  13. Our Primary Site Topic Is Small Penis? Reaching #1 on Page 1 of Google.
  14. Why Crude Adult Comedy and Pink Humor Yaoi Is Not Erotica
  15. Quaraun Free To Read Online Complete Chapter Index In Chronological Order
  16. Albino Races - Moon Elves In The Quaraun Series
  17. Help FBI End Anti-Gay White Power Terrorist Attacks of Old Orchard Beach
  18. Autism, Asperger's, And The Danger of The Self-Diagnosis
  19. 600 Pages: Epic Big Super Sized Novels and Why You Should Never Write One
  20. The Jiggler & The G-String Teddy Bears | The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane
  21. Spell Casting Side Effects: Magic In Quaraun's Universe | Author Interview
  22. Necromancy: Fact Vs Fiction; Or How Can You Be A Necromancer In Real Life?
  23. The Dazzling Razzberry aka EelKat's Autism Awareness Car
  24. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 1 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  25. Markiplier Jacksepticeye and Pewdiepie Play Resident Evil 7
  26. What Type of Music Does A Gypsy Listen To? My Top 10 Favorite Bands
  27. World's Most Haunted Car Merchandise
  28. Is It a Novel, a Novella, a Short Story or Something Else?
  29. I Am Not GhoulSpawn | Excerpt From Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  30. BoomFuzzy Chapter 1 (Novel Excerpt - Quaraun The Insane)
  31. Psychedelics In A 'High' High Fantasy World (High Elves Getting High)
  32. World-building In The Quaraun Series: Creating a Fantasy World
  33. City of The Slushies | Chapter 7 | Quaraun The Insane
  34. How to Handle Writing Fantasy-Horror That Features Violence Against Children
  35. How To Write A Stage Play Script Frenzy 2010 Writing Dialogue
  36. Quaraun GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover: The Lover's Triangle
  37. An Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink Necromancer
  38. A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond | Summoner of Darkness
  39. The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death
  40. Amphibious Aliens: My health since the stroke and Etiole . . .
  41. Beware of White Men In Gypsy Clothing: Fake Psychic Scams
  42. Online Income: The Reality vs The Fantasy
  43. OtherKin: My 30th Anniversary of Being Transgender
  44. Autism and the Stigmas - Why Can’t You Accept Me As Me?
  45. Old Orchard Beach Hate Crimes
  46. Suicide, Rape, and Abuse In The Quaraun Series
  47. Writing Racist Characters VS The Ku Klux Klan In Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  48. A Gallery of Fetish Shoes
  49. Custom Leggings - Designs By EelKat
  50. EGL: Elegant Gothic Lolita

Where to get ideas

  1. Story Prompts & Writing Dares
  2. Ideas, Ideas, Ideas (Where Do You Get Them?)
  3. Daily Writing Prompts June 2017

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The Quaraun Series On Amazon:

I am wondering why has Amazon moved the Quaraun books to the category "Transgender Romance" and also "Gay Erotica"? The base story is a deeply depressed, suicidal, drug addict Elf who's lover commit suicide and he's trying not to do the same. It's an old Elf in a tavern, monologuing a lot of flashbacks and back story scenes of his youth. These stories are dark, bloody, angsty, full of drug use, murder, rape, Medieval torture, mental/physical/emotional abuse, and references to depression and suicide - no romance in it, unless you count the occasional (and usually brutally violent) rape scenes that show up in nearly every volume - sorry - no clue what Amazon is thinking or why they moved these to Romance and Erotica, but these books are NOT even close to being Romance or Erotica on any level at all. When I published these books I put them in "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi". If they show up in any category other then "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi", it's because Amazon put them there without my authorization or approval.

~EelKat