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How to Handle Writing Fantasy-Horror That Features Violence Against Children 

By EelKat Wendy C Allen

How to Handle Writing Fantasy-Horror That Features Violence Against Children 

I am answering random questions today about character creating, plots points, and world building type styff, over on Reddit and decided to take my answers from there and expand upon them even further over here. So that's what this page is. Me rambling on about various aspects of world building techniques I use when writing the Quaraun series. The questions I am answering are embedded here. Clicking the link in the embedded question will take you to the original Reddit page where you can see the original answer along with other people's answers. If you wish to comment, you can do so on the Reddit page where a place to do so is provided.

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My main character starts out the series, murdering his 4 children to get back at his wife. Poisons them, then slits their throats. Turns it into a massive Necromancy ritual. Then he kills his wife too.

The whole thing is drawn out in gory detail, spans about 20 pages of descriptive murder.

It's the ending of the first book in the series, after you see him being bullied, tortured (literally tortured, as in a full blown 40 page long scene of him being mutilated, dragged naked in the streets tied to a horse, and castrated in public.... it's very much medieval torture porn).... but you see 300 pages of him putting up with one thing after another. The wife is an arranged marriage he wanted no part of, the children were a result of her raping him.

Through all of it he had his lover, so he tried to turn the other cheek and forgive them for how he was treated, but then his lover dies a horrific gruesome death because of his wife, and she's just sadistic laughing over his pain, and he just snaps. Kills the kids to get back at her. For the first time she's faced with the realization of how much he'd really been holding back all these years, then he kills her. Then he uses the souls of his dead children to resurrect his lover.

Like you I found the killing his children part troubling and very difficult to write. I kept going around the story trying to figure out if there was a different way around it. But no matter what else I came up with none of the alternatives felt right.

The way I dealt with it, was, to actually write it that same way... with him, having trouble with killing his children.

Throughout the entire rest of the series (it's very long running, lots of books in the set) you see him constantly saying to himself: "I loved my children, but I loved BoomFuzzy more." He says it over and over again. He never used to drink or do drugs. Now after killing his children, you see him sitting in a tavern drinking and saying to whoever is near him: "I loved my children, but I loved BoomFuzzy more." He'll be buying drugs and say to the dealer: "I loved my children, but I loved BoomFuzzy more." That phrase is stuck in his head, because he's trying to convince himself resurrecting his dead lover was worth murdering his children, but telling himself that isn't working so he's using drinking and drugs to try to forget, only that just makes the night terrors worse... it absolutely destroys him and, then he's got the law hunting him down, so he's now living on the run...

And to make things worse, his lover came back as a cold hearted, incorporeal lich, so, he didn't really get his lover back either AND now in addition to having lost his lover, he's lost his children as well, and he now realizes how much he really misses having them in his life. The reader really sees him tore apart mentally and emotionally over this.

The difficult in killing children, ended up becoming a major plot point in later volumes, as you see him struggling with guilt, regret, depression, and many times suicide. He's plagued with night terrors, and seeing visions of his children in hell screaming, while trying to drag him into a bottomless pit.

It absolutely shatters his ability to function is society as he's slowly driven mad by the realization of :"Omg! What did I do? I killed my children." It hunts him his entire life, and he can't escape it.

It was published a few years ago. Never once had a reader complain about it. It's the 2nd most popular volume of the series. Readers seem to love it, even with the horrific murder scenes of him killing his own children. (And they are young - 2 girls, 2 boys, the youngest was 3, the oldest was 9)

I think, because the way I handled his after reaction to what he did. I think, readers were able to sympathize with why he did what he did, yet also be horrified by it, and then see that he's not a monster and now has to live with what he did and he can't because he really did love his children and the guilt of it is crushing him. I think too it helps him being the point of view character, so readers really get inside his head and know exactly what he's feeling, rather than standing back and watching him do thing, they experience it with him.

I think, how people react to a story like this is dependent on how you handle the killer's motive and after reaction to what they did. It's the difference between him being seen as a monster they can not identify with, or a man who made mistakes that are tormenting his mind and readers can feel sympathy for in spite of what he did.

I think also, because it was not the very first scene in the book either. Readers had a chance to go along with him, see him being beaten up by bullies, see his wife hurting him... readers were likely going "Why is he just taking it, why doesn't he punch her back, come on man, do something." So, by the time he does do something, the reader is now rooting for him, going "Yes, finally he's gonna do something... wait... no... don't do that... what are you doing... no not that!" By the time he kills the kids the reader is too drawn into the story to turn away and wants to see where it goes.

So I think in the end. it not what he does, but how you as a writer, get the reader to accept what he does.

That was the end of the answer posted on Reddit, but why stop there? Let's keep going...

If you don't know, there is an issue with the Quaraun series... one that baffles me to extremes. One that makes me seriously question the mental health of quite a few of my readers.

As you saw from the post up to this point, the Quaraun series is very violent. It features rape, torture, and child abuse on levels that push far beyond the limits. It takes actual events from my own childhood, and puts them on the page in glaring colour.

Quaraun himself suffered horrific levels of abuse as a child, as a teen, as a young adult.... abuse that is laid out on the pages of the books. Abuse that the reader lives through, as they see it happen, and see it through the perspective of the child being abused: Quaraun.

Every single volume of the series prominently features and excessively violent and brutal rape seen, with Quaraun often seriously injured by his rapist(s).

And I worry about my readers...


Because I have dozens of emails from dozens of fans, who, after reading these graphic, gory, emotionally traumatizing, psychological terror scenes of rape and abuse... they then write to me saying the books are "the best BDSM Erotica stories ever written".

I have written mutiple articles on my worry about the type of person these readers are and all the reasons why the Quaraun series it NOT Erotica...

Why the Quaraun Series Is Not Erotica (2015 article)

Why the Quaraun Series Is Not Erotica (2017 article)

Why the Quaraun Series Is Not Erotica (another 2017 article)

Why do I worry about the readers who glorify the Quaraun series as Erotica? Well, think about it... these people find child abuse erotic. These people find rape erotica. These people think that a man being gang raped by a 12 bullies who continue to rape him after slicing him open by forcing a dagger up his rectum, them raping him while he is unconscious and bleeding to death, he being seriously maimed, suffering injuries that leave him bedridden for weeks... they found that scene to be "the best gang bang in BDSM Erotica history"

Clearly they have no clue what BDSM is and have a very warped perception of what constitutes and erotic scene.

And what is in that scene, which some readers have hailed: "the best gang bang in BDSM Erotica history"? Why am I so disturbed by readers saying this?

Here is a summery of that 10 page rape scene:

The first half of that gang rape scene is shown from Quaraun's terrified perspective as he desperately tries to get away from his attackers. The reader is in his head, knowing his thoughts, how terrified he is, as the the rapists tear is ear rings from his ears and nose rings from his face, laughing as the blood gushes from these wounds.

The reader knows his thoughts, his pain, his agony as the knife if stabbed up into his ass, tearing him open in what the rapist call: "making room for more dicks to go in you at once"

Quaraun is screaming in agony, begging for his life, is full aware that these men are intending to rape him to death, as they have told him they want to do exactly that as they are seeking to feel the thrill of being in him while he dies.

And his injuries are very serious. He really is bleeding to death, and passes out both from shock and blood loss.

Once he passes out the scene switches to the perspective of one of his friends, who is being held down and forced to watch, and is likewise horrified and traumatized by this event, and also, believes he is not just watching his friend being raped, but also being murdered. The scene is made event more NOT erotic, when another of his friends realizes what is happening and MURDERS every last one of the rapists in a frenzied bloodbath.

The following day the reader sees Quaraun awake again, but not yet aware that his attackers are dead, and is jumping and terrified by every shadow, every sound, to the point he drags himself out of his sick bed and hides under the bed, trembling in fear, traumatized so badly that none of his friends are able to calm him or convince him that he is safe.

THAT is most certainly NOT Erotica. That is Horror. It's psychological terror. It's a victim being humiliated, brutalized, traumatized, and having every last shred of dignity taken away from him. It is bullies asserting their power by taking away his power and making him a victim of of the worst possible abuse there is: rape.

Rape is a crime.

Rape is the most de-humanizing of crimes.

Rape is a crime of power.

Rape is taking someone and saying: you are worthless, I'm gonna show you how worthless you are by proving you are powerless to stop me from doing whatever I want to your body.

Rape is not erotic.

Rape is not BDSM.

Rape is abuse.

Rape is repulsive.

Rape is vile.

Rape is disgusting.

That scene...that is not an Erotica scene, it's a crime scene. You are not reading something intended to titillate you, you are reading something intended to horrify you.

And so... can you see why I say I worry about some of my readers and the type of person they are, when they look at  horrific crime happening and see it as something to be sexually aroused by?

It bothers me, that someone could take something so horrible, so degrading, and see it as something meant for sexual gratification.

Even the novel BoomFuzzy, has been hailed as a work of Erotica. 300 pages of child abuse and neglect that were based off the real life child abuse and neglect of my own childhood. Page after page of rape scenes that were based off real life child rape that I was subjected to growing up.

I write these scenes, because they happened to me in real life and I can't get them out of my head. I write abut them over and over again because I was so very traumatized by them.

I can't live in normal society. My phobia of adults, most especially men, is that bad. My phobia of beds is so horrific that I've selpt outside under a tarp for most of the last 40 years. I was so traumatized by rare that by the time I was 8 years old, I was no longer able to set foot in a room with a bed in to without screaming in terror until I black out from sheer fear of what bed was.

Quaraun is raped and abused by his family throughout his childhood, because I was raped and abused by my family throughout my childhood. 

Quaraun is bullied and beaten by the neighbors he went to for help, because I was bullied and beaten by the neighbors I went to for help, 

Quaraun's church and town turns on him in a violent mass mob, because my church and town turned on me in a violent mass mob, 

When the child Quaraun tries to fit back the abusive adults who are sexually abusing him and sadistically torturing him, they hold him down and beat his cats heads in in front of him,  because the abusive adults who were sexually abusing me and sadistically torturing me until I was 31 years old, when I finally escaped the clan, they beat my cats heads in and nailed them to my door.  

Quaraun is locked it that horrible room, left to starve to death, because I was locked it that same horrible room, and left to starve to death, 

Here, have pictures of it:

That is the real live room, my child raping, cat murdering, sex slave human trafficking uncles kept me locked in. 

It horrifies me that there are people who read the atrocities written in the Quaraun series and call it "Erotica."

Here, why don't you go read about the real life events that inspired the horrific events of the Quaraun series and THEN come back and tell me you still think it's Erotica.

The Terrorists of Old Orchard Beach Put My Dad In a Coma

Trespassers: The Crime Lords Of Old Orchard Beach - April 2007 Updates

Stolen Items: Please be on the look out for them!

More Harassment - Sunday, August 26, 2007 - The Crime Lords Of Old Orchard Beach

February 10, 2008 - Harrasment Continues in Old Orchard Beach, Maine

Tired of people who don’t care. :( Tired of the harassment. :(

Christmas 2009 - Old Orchard Beach Harassment Continues

To be the lily of the field.

April 2015 Update: Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach: The Kidnapped Cats

Amphibious Aliens: The Story of Etiole

The GoldenEagle: An Auto-biography of the World's Most Haunted Car

Help FBI End Anti-Gay White Power Terrorist Attacks of Old Orchard Beach

Autism: Why Can’t You Accept Me As Me?

Stephen King's The Thinner and The Gypsies Of Old Orchard Beach, Maine

The Ku Klux Klan In Old Orchard Beach, Maine

The Signs Of Old Orchard Beach & The FBI Investigation Of The Town Hall

Flamboyant Nipples: The KKK's New Gay Hating Site About Old Orchard Beach

The Saco River Curse

My Books Become The First Books In American History To Be Banned By The American Government 

The Ku Klux Klan is a terrorist organization and they happen to be a very big problem here in Old Orchard Beach, and I write about the abuse and terrorize that has been inflicted on me and my family by them. That's not Erotica.

Volume 3: BoomFuzzy

Three Hundred years before Quaraun meet Unicorn in The Night of The Screaming Unicorn, he meet another Phooka, the same Phooka in another form, when an Elf eating candy-maker arrives in the Moon Elf Village and puts every one under a spell so that no one notices as villagers are one by one disappearing.

Young wizard Quaraun sees through the illusion, but instead of stopping it, helps the monster pick who to kill, and builds 13 phylacteries for the most infamous Lich making spell any wizard ever cast: the one that created the Thirteen Lich Lords, in the process falling in love with the leader of the Lich Lords, The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley himself.

Life is going good for the young wizard, until his best friend BeaLuna the Gnome alerts his father that there's more going on in the gingerbread house the making candy, and a mob of Moon Elves sets out to kill Quaraun in a public execution.

Enranged by the near murder of his lover, the illusions melt away revealing the Lich Lord and his innocent looking gingerbread house for the monsters they really are.

With the Twighlight Manor now threatening to eat every Elf in the village, the Moon Elves plot to destroy the suicidal Elf Eater and his sentient house, not realizing that worse things walked among then then Phooka's and Liches: a Thullid has taken up residence in the Pink Necromancer's head, remaining peacefully dormant until BoomFuzzy's death unleash's it's fury on them all.


Another of the stories banned by fanfiction.net in 2012, this one contains three controversial scenes:

The torture scene when Quaraun receives his sex altering injury.

The graphically detailed suicide of BoomFuzzy 

The bloody murder of Quaraun's four children.

By far the bloodiest story of the series, this novel contains disturbing details of death, abuse, torture, suicide, and murder and is considered to be Gorn.

As you follow the series along, you find that Unicorn's obsession with Quaraun reaches a point where Quaraun gives up and simply allows himself to be sexually abused, daily, for years on end, by the Unicorn, because he's realized he can't get away from the extremely obsessive creature that follows him every where he goes.

One of the most disturbing scenes of the entire series is in volume 3, BoomFuzzy, when it is revealed, just how long the Unicorn's obsession has been going on. While most of the series takes place when Quaraun is an adult and is actually quite old, the novel, BoomFuzzy, is a flashback, that takes place when Quaraun was a child. 

As a young boy, about 9 years old, Quaraun finds an injured pony, badly abused, shackled in chains, and locked in a cage. Not realizing the little innocent looking Shetland Pony, is actually a Phooka (a type of evil Faerie Horse), he sets it free. Phookas a viscous black unicorns, fire breathing monsters who skewer people on their horns, and take delight in crushing people to death under their hooves. There is no such thing as a good Phooka, and they are killed on sight whenever they are found. That the boy let him go free, puzzled the demonic beast.

The boy went back to his life. The Phooka followed him. From that point on, Quaraun could not escape the black Unicorn that followed his every move.

When Quaraun was age of 15, the Black Unicorn took on a humanoid form, that of a candy maker named BoomFuzzy, and set up shop in Quaraun's village. Luring children to his gingerbread house, the beast set out to killing and eating every one who got near his candy shop... except for Quaraun.

Quaraun was small, sick, and liked wearing dresses, resulting in his being bullied by the other boys in the village. When one day the bullying got out of hand and Quaraun was nearly killed, the Unicorn swept in and slaughtered the bullies, saving Quaraun's life, then taking the injurged boy back to the gingerbread house.

From there the BoomFuzzy story took a darker turn, as the young boy now finds himself, both well care for by a loving protector, and sexually abused by an obsessed stalker. The duel nature of BoomFuzzy the Unicorn, both comforts and terrifies Quaraun, as he finds himself safe and protected, while simultaneously abused and kept under strict control.

The rest of the BoomFuzzy novel becomes a self battle, with Quaraun, both loving and hating the Unicorn that both protects and hurts him.

At it's core, BoomFuzzy is a novel that takes a dark look into the effects of child abuse, sex slavery, and the confusion caused by being a child who is both loved and victimized by a psychopathic adult.

Quaraun remains with BoomFuzzy for 30 years, with their relationship rocky, as Quaraun finds himself wanting freedom to choose to love someone of his own choosing, and at the same time his not wanting to hurt the beast that truly does love him, but is incapable of showing that love in none abusive ways.

After 30 years, Quaraun leaves. He finally escapes the monster that held him captive and sexually abused him for 30 years. A few weeks later Quaraun marries his first wife. And the next day, BoomFuzzy kills himself.

Quaraun finds the body of the dead Unicorn 3 days later and is devastated, realizing that had he not married, BoomFuzzy would not have commit suicide.

The theme of Stockholm Syndrome pushes front and center into the series from that point on, with Quaraun torn between the guilt of having caused BoomFuzzy's death, and the wife he can not look at because without her, BoomFuzzy would still be alive.

The wife, seeing that her husband cares more for his childhood captive than he had let on, takes to bullying Quaraun, belittling BoomFuzzy's memory at every turn. Quaraun grows to hate his wife. The more his wife, puts down BoomFuzzy's memory, the more defensive Quaraun becomes in protecting BoomFuzzy's honor and denying that BoomFuzzy had spent years sexually abusing him.

As the years go on, Quaraun starts to forget he was BoomFuzzy's victim, he forgets that BoomFuzzy was a child rapist, he forgets that he had spent those years wanting freedom from his captive. His memories become warped and he starts to think of BoomFuzzy as a past lover. On the anniversary of BoomFuzzy's death, Quaraun's wife writes a nursery-rhyme song, belittling BoomFuzzy, and teaches it too their 4 children. Unable to take the constant belittling from his wife anymore, in a fit of rage, Quaraun lashes out at her and murders both his wife and their 4 children. 

Horrified by what he's done, Quaraun flees into the mountains, not to be seen again for decades. When he does return to civilization, he's completly lost touch with reality, thus people begin to call him "Quaraun the Insane". When questioned as to why he killed his family, the only answer he gives anyone is: "I loved my children, but I loved BoomFuzzy more."

When the law tries to arrest him, he tries to escape and accidentally kills them too. Terrified, he flees again, now wanted for for multiple murders. Scared of his own temper, now afraid to be near anyone for fear he'll kill them, Quaraun becomes a wandering hermit, living on the run, never staying in any one place more then a day or two.

Several times his timing is bad and he arrives in towns, just as someone has been killed. Knowing he killed his family and the men who tried to arrest him, villagers are quick to blame him for any and every death, and soon reports calling him a serial killer are being spread across the entire country.

Chapter 1: King Gwallmaiic & The Sacred Pink JellyFish

The Gingerbread House From Hell (Part of Chapter 2)

Santa Claus: Lich Of The North Pole

The Hanging Tree

The Dying Elf, Gibedon's Head, and King Gwallmaiic's Elf Eating Mansion

BoomFuzzy's Death

An Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink Necromancer

"I loved my children, but I loved BoomFuzzy more..."

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On Writing The Quaraun Series



The Quaraun Series On Amazon:

I am wondering why has Amazon moved the Quaraun books to the category "Transgender Romance" and also "Gay Erotica"? The base story is a deeply depressed, suicidal, drug addict Elf who's lover commit suicide and he's trying not to do the same. It's an old Elf in a tavern, monologuing a lot of flashbacks and back story scenes of his youth. These stories are dark, bloody, angsty, full of drug use, murder, rape, Medieval torture, mental/physical/emotional abuse, and references to depression and suicide - no romance in it, unless you count the occasional (and usually brutally violent) rape scenes that show up in nearly every volume - sorry - no clue what Amazon is thinking or why they moved these to Romance and Erotica, but these books are NOT even close to being Romance or Erotica on any level at all. When I published these books I put them in "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi". If they show up in any category other then "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi", it's because Amazon put them there without my authorization or approval.


Author Interviews
On Writing The Quaraun Series:

Author Interviews
On CosPlaying The Quaraun Characters:

Author Interviews
Reacting To Old Orchard Beach's
White Power Gay Hating Over Reaction Ban
Of The Quaraun Series:

The 4 door white truck continues to sit at the end of my drive way (146 Portland Ave, Old Orchard Beach, Maine) near every night around sunset, reeving it's engine and squealing it's tires, with the driver yelling anti-gay threats and obscenities out the window. He continues to do the same thing at my dad's apartment building (Biddeford Maine) a few times a week, usually in mid to late afternoon time. He continues to follow me to shopping to various stores in various towns throughout the states.

Phrases he yells from the truck include:

"Kill or be killed remember Saco Shaws all transsexuals are alike"

"I keep a gun under the seat of my truck, I'm gonna use it to shoot you in the head, you transvestite freak"

if cars are going by he yells to them: "that thing is Ken's son, look at how's it's dressed; it's insane, it has autism, we can't allow that thing and it's gay cars in our family friend town of Old Orchard Beach"

He often babbles deranged ramblings about something he calls "the gay-pocalypse", raving lunacy about how "all the gays are gathering" on his doorstep. He raves some crazy nonsense about how Armageddon is coming and the war to end all wars will be "the gays against the Christians" and Christians have to be ready to "kill the gays"

My car is the Autism Awareness Car and had 2.5million marbles glued to it (I have Autism - savant - Kanner's syndrome) he claims tat my car "is gay" because of what it looks like. My car has been vandalized several dozen times, including to have the tires slashed 7 times in 6 months.

After dark often around 10PM, he stands at the end of the logging road across the street from me and shoots at my motohome (in February 2014 he shot holes in my neighbour's barn while doing this). I have video footage of 3 of his shootings at me here:  https://youtu.be/NUebzJ9sz9U and here: https://youtu.be/C4dZbgG-Smw

This has gone on since August 2013 now, in addition to all the vandalism, hate crimes, pet beheadings, etc that has happened, including the bomb that blew up our house in 2006.

As you know, that whole time I had not been able to get a plate number on the truck. He as just here again, and I just realized why I could not get a plate number... there are no plates on the truck, either on the front or on the back. However, as he was driving away today... I noticed, there is a plate, stuck up in the back window of the truck, where it can barely be seen, deliberately obscured from view behind a silver tool box.

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  28. Is It a Novel, a Novella, a Short Story or Something Else?
  29. I Am Not GhoulSpawn | Excerpt From Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  30. BoomFuzzy Chapter 1 (Novel Excerpt - Quaraun The Insane)
  31. Psychedelics In A 'High' High Fantasy World (High Elves Getting High)
  32. World-building In The Quaraun Series: Creating a Fantasy World
  33. City of The Slushies | Chapter 7 | Quaraun The Insane
  34. How to Handle Writing Fantasy-Horror That Features Violence Against Children
  35. How To Write A Stage Play Script Frenzy 2010 Writing Dialogue
  36. Quaraun GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover: The Lover's Triangle
  37. An Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink Necromancer
  38. A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond | Summoner of Darkness
  39. The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death
  40. Amphibious Aliens: My health since the stroke and Etiole . . .
  41. Beware of White Men In Gypsy Clothing: Fake Psychic Scams
  42. Online Income: The Reality vs The Fantasy
  43. OtherKin: My 30th Anniversary of Being Transgender
  44. Autism and the Stigmas - Why Can’t You Accept Me As Me?
  45. Old Orchard Beach Hate Crimes
  46. Suicide, Rape, and Abuse In The Quaraun Series
  47. Writing Racist Characters VS The Ku Klux Klan In Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  48. A Gallery of Fetish Shoes
  49. Custom Leggings - Designs By EelKat
  50. EGL: Elegant Gothic Lolita

Where to get ideas

  1. Story Prompts & Writing Dares
  2. Ideas, Ideas, Ideas (Where Do You Get Them?)
  3. Daily Writing Prompts June 2017

Life In Old Orchard Beach

On Writing The Quaraun Series



The Quaraun Series On Amazon:

I am wondering why has Amazon moved the Quaraun books to the category "Transgender Romance" and also "Gay Erotica"? The base story is a deeply depressed, suicidal, drug addict Elf who's lover commit suicide and he's trying not to do the same. It's an old Elf in a tavern, monologuing a lot of flashbacks and back story scenes of his youth. These stories are dark, bloody, angsty, full of drug use, murder, rape, Medieval torture, mental/physical/emotional abuse, and references to depression and suicide - no romance in it, unless you count the occasional (and usually brutally violent) rape scenes that show up in nearly every volume - sorry - no clue what Amazon is thinking or why they moved these to Romance and Erotica, but these books are NOT even close to being Romance or Erotica on any level at all. When I published these books I put them in "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi". If they show up in any category other then "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi", it's because Amazon put them there without my authorization or approval.


The Autism Awareness Articles

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