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By EelKat Wendy C Allen

Official Home Page Of The Quaraun Series
The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane
(A Bizarro Dark Fantasy Series)

What Is This Site?

I'm an author. This is an author home page. It's about me, my life, my books, and my home town.

Since starting my writing career in 1978, I have written 130+ novels, 200+ short stories, 6,000+ non-fiction articles, 30+ non-fiction books, a few dozen stage plays, 9,700+ blog posts, and a few comic book scripts for Disney's Uncle Scrooge and Donald Duck.

In fiction works, I specialize in Weird/Bizzaro Tales set in Medieval Dark Fantasy and Science Fiction worlds featuring Elf and Faerie main character.  

My non-fiction topics include local history (particularly paranormal events), gardening, sewing, doll making, painting, SEO, and of course the bulk of my work has been devoted to teaching young writers how to get started on the path of becoming a career author. 

Every day of my life has been recorded online since 2003.

Since 2016, after multiple death threats, 2 murder attempts, the kidnapping of my cats, and the bombing of my house... on orders of the FBI Agent in charge of the case - I now have a video camera on me and recording 24 hours a day. This will continue until the criminal is caught and locked away in prison where they belong. If you don't want to be featured on my website, then don't be a part of my life, because you WILL find your name, face, email, and home address posted here if you force your way into my life.


This site started out on August 17, 1997, under the name "Space Dock 13", as the "Ask EelKat" advice column for writers. It's original purpose was simply for an author (me) to answer questions anyone had about writing short stories and novels. Today 20 years later, I still answer questions sent to me, though, I now receive an average of 2,000 questions a day, meaning it's no longer possible for me to answer every question I receive.

This site's one goal, is still today, as it was when it started: to help young writers get started on the road to becoming published authors.

In 2003, one reader suggested that the best way they could think of, for an author to show people looking to get started in a writing career, what an author's daily life was like, would be to start a blog daily chronalizing every daily activity that effected my writing career.

With that suggestion in mind EK's Star Log was born, and is still active today, 9,772 blog posts later.

On September 23, 2013, we changed urls to EelKat.com, and began the long process of moving all the articles off the old url to this new one. As of June 19, 2017, a little over 2,000 pages have now been transferred here to the new url.


Because I kept adding to it and it got very long, too long for the front page, the rest of the What is this site? answer is now on it's own page.


People I've Met...

Me with Mat Dishman & Rammunition

Me with Ron Bachmann & BigFoot

The Dazzeling Razzberry aka The Autism Awareness Car
With BigFoot

Me with Ethan of CrankGamePlays & Team Markiplier
Three Times


Now Available In Print:

Top selling volume of the Quaraun series, and #1 most requested to be released in paperback... The Night of the Screaming Unicorn is now available in trade paperback edition.

The rest of the series will be going to print as well, though a release scheduled is not yet available. It is however, likely that all 5 of the volumes currently available on Amazon Kindle, will see a print release before the end of 2017.

Also, we are nearing the finishing up of editing Summoner of Darkness, and as requested, MOST of the novel is going to be available right here on EelKat.com as a free to read novel.

Because we monetize with Google Adsence, however, the more graphic sex scenes can not be put on this site and will only be available in the paid edition of the book on Amazon.

I've also now begun work on compiling several of the old FanFiction.net short stories together into the novelized compilations editions: GhoulSpawn The Crazed and the Rose Garden of the Pink Necromancer, Zebulon's Captive, and My Two Favorite People.

Sample chapters from each of the novels seen below are now available here on EelKat.com.

What Is The Quaraun Series?

No matter where you go in the world, every one knows the story....

Once upon a time there was an evil Faerie King turned Necromancer who hated Elves, lead his armies marching across the world slaughtering every Elf in every village he passed. When he grew old, he murdered his 13 generals and turned them into Liches, then he commit suicide to turn himself into a Lich too. Together the Lich Lords continued their reign of terror slaughtering Elves across the planet.

One day they came to a village where lived a powerful wizard. As they did every where they went, the Liches slaughtered the Elves. Every last one.... except the wizard, who somehow survived.

Now the last of the High Elves roams the world in search of the Liches who killed his people. Becoming ever more powerful, learning all he can, becoming the world's most feared and most powerful wizard.... a Lich Hunter hell bent on vengeance, out to save the world and destroy the monsters who destroyed his people...

No matter where you go in the world, no one knows the truth....

Once upon a time there was a sad and lonely Elf, cast out by his people for being too different, too emotional, too liberal, too accepting on non-Elves, too willing to accept half-Elves as valuable members of society. Cast out of his society, left to die in the desert. He was rescued by a tribe of Demons who taught him their ways and their magic. When his Demon "family" was killed, he returned to his real family, only to be treated far worse than he had been before. Beaten, tortured, mutilated, traumatized, cut off from the Elven hive mind, and left hanging upside down in a tree in the forest, bleeding to death, used by his own people, as bait to catch an evil Elf Eating Faerie King.

The King of the Faeries - a vicious war lord, found the gutted Elf hanging in the tree and took pity on a wounded Elf wizard and nursed him back to health. For 30 years they lived together. The two became lovers.

For an Elf and a Faerie to be lovers was forbidden by Elf law. The Elves viciously attacked and tortured them both. Mortally wounded the Faerie King commit suicide to end his suffering rather than linger on in agony for weeks. Devastated, the Elf used the magic he'd learned from the Demons to resurrect the Faerie King as a Lich.

And now the Elf, a Necromancer with a Lich at his command, unleasehed the Lich on the Elves to punish them for killing his lover. With every Elf dead, the Lich escaped it's bottle, not returning to it's Necromancer.

Now, Quaraun, the last High Elf, The Pink Necromancer, driven to the brink of insanity, murderer of the other Elves, roams the planet, a Lich Hunter, not hunting Liches to kill them and save the world, but rather searching for his undead lover that they may be reunited, caring nothing for the world or any one in it, desiring only to be with his lover once again.

Serial killer, time traveller, builder of the Twighlight Manor.... these are the Adventures of Quaraun the Insane.


More then a dozen of the short stories have now been complied to create the 5 novelized editions now available on Amazon Kindle:


By Fan Request, My Most Popular Article Of all Time
(Amphibious Aliens)
Has Now Been Moved To EelKat.com!

With over 10 million lifetime views, Amphibious Aliens is my most popular and most trafficked article ever. Published April 17, 2007, it's now celebrating it's 10th anniversary.

This one page alone brings in 3,000 views a day, and has resulted in the annual arrival of 30,000 ufo hunter and MUFON member tourists arriving in Old Orchard Beach every summer since 2007.

This single page brings more tourists to Old Orchard Beach, then anything else found on or off the internet!

{{{Hugs}}} to all you wonderful people. I always look forward to meeting and talking with you each summer! 


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Top 101 Most Viewed Pages Of 2017 So Far
(Out of 9,772 pages)

(January 2017 to June 2017)
(Excluding the Home PageAbout Page, and Site Map Page, which were the top 3)

  1. Medieval Servants: Their jobs and their place in historical fiction.
  2. Amphibious Aliens: The Story of Etiole & The World's Most Haunted Car
  3. On being a handicapped CosPlayer at PortCon Maine 2017
  4. Flamboyant Nipples: The KKK's New Gay Hating Site About Old Orchard Beach
  5. The GoldenEagle: An Auto-biography of the World's Most Haunted Car
  6. How Long is 50,000 Words?
  7. Writing Mute Characters
  8. Autism, Asperger, PTSD, & Mad Cow: What is wrong with Quaraun? (Writing A Clinically Insane Character Accurately)
  9. Writing Dares Random Generator
  10. Stephen King's The Thinner and The Gypsies Of Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  11. The Saco River Curse
  12. Don't put flyers on people's cars...
  13. Our Primary Site Topic Is Small Penis? Reaching #1 on Page 1 of Google.
  14. Why Crude Adult Comedy and Pink Humor Yaoi Is Not Erotica
  15. Quaraun Free To Read Online Complete Chapter Index In Chronological Order
  16. Albino Races - Moon Elves In The Quaraun Series
  17. Help FBI End Anti-Gay White Power Terrorist Attacks of Old Orchard Beach
  18. Autism, Asperger's, And The Danger of The Self-Diagnosis
  19. 600 Pages: Epic Big Super Sized Novels and Why You Should Never Write One
  20. The Jiggler & The G-String Teddy Bears | The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane
  21. Spell Casting Side Effects: Magic In Quaraun's Universe | Author Interview
  22. Necromancy: Fact Vs Fiction; Or How Can You Be A Necromancer In Real Life?
  23. The Dazzling Razzberry aka EelKat's Autism Awareness Car
  24. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 1 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  25. Markiplier Jacksepticeye and Pewdiepie Play Resident Evil 7
  26. What Type of Music Does A Gypsy Listen To? My Top 10 Favorite Bands
  27. World's Most Haunted Car Merchandise
  28. Is It a Novel, a Novella, a Short Story or Something Else?
  29. I Am Not GhoulSpawn | Excerpt From Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  30. BoomFuzzy Chapter 1 (Novel Excerpt - Quaraun The Insane)
  31. Psychedelics In A 'High' High Fantasy World (High Elves Getting High)
  32. World-building In The Quaraun Series: Creating a Fantasy World
  33. City of The Slushies | Chapter 7 | Quaraun The Insane
  34. How to Handle Writing Fantasy-Horror That Features Violence Against Children
  35. How To Write A Stage Play Script Frenzy 2010 Writing Dialogue
  36. Quaraun GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover: The Lover's Triangle
  37. An Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink Necromancer
  38. A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond | Summoner of Darkness
  39. The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death
  40. Amphibious Aliens: My health since the stroke and Etiole . . .
  41. Beware of White Men In Gypsy Clothing: Fake Psychic Scams
  42. Online Income: The Reality vs The Fantasy
  43. OtherKin: My 30th Anniversary of Being Transgender
  44. Autism and the Stigmas - Why Can’t You Accept Me As Me?
  45. Old Orchard Beach Hate Crimes
  46. Suicide, Rape, and Abuse In The Quaraun Series
  47. Writing Racist Characters VS The Ku Klux Klan In Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  48. A Gallery of Fetish Shoes
  49. Custom Leggings - Designs By EelKat
  50. EGL: Elegant Gothic Lolita
  51. One Gypsy's Review of My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding
  52. Selfie: When did the X-Rated porn word get a new meaning?
  53. Daily Writing Prompts (June 2017 Archive)
  54. Quaraun The Insane Volume 1: The Night of the Screaming Unicorn
  55. Random Generators by EelKat
  56. Autistic Characters In Fiction
  57. Keywords & Pigeons: How I Do Local Business Marketing
  58. Manuscript Reading Services or Will You Read My Book and Tell Me What You Think?
  59. How to Write Hot Sex - Tips For Erotic Romance Authors
  60. How can your books have gay transvestite characters and not be Erotica?
  61. KBoards, The NaNoWriMo ML Rumor & The Vindictive Stalker
  62. Captured By The Lich Lord | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  63. Incest In Fiction
  64. Maine UFO Sightings
  65. Page 11 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - The Scottish Traveller Crime Family
  66. The Southern Maine Writers Group
  67. Contact Info
  68. My Fave YouTubers Play: Dream Daddy - The Yaoi Dating Sim Otome Game
  69. Santa's Floating Dead Body | A Scene From The Summoner of Darkness
  70. Why Pink Humor Crude Adult Comedy Yaoi Is Not Erotica
  71. SideBar Archive Spring 2017
  72. The Dungeon Master & The 1974 AMC Gremlin
  73. Ideas, Ideas, Ideas (Where Do You Get Them?)
  74. Lives Destroyed: Amphibious Aliens 10th Anniversary Update
  75. Twighilight Not Twilight
  76. What exactly makes an Elf an Elf? (What is the definition of an Elf?)
  77. EelKat's Guide To NaNoWriMo Featuring The 13 Step Method To Writing
  78. A Motorhome named 'No Hurry' becomes Rosebud & The Story of Ten Kidnapped Cats
  79. BoomFuzzy's Gingerbread House From Hell
  80. An Elf and a Lich in the Gingerbread Pit | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  81. Gemstones in Gypsy Magic (A to C)
  82. Is The Quaraun Series Erotica? - No! Here's why...
  83. Pink Flowers Aesthetic on Pinterest
  84. Sheep | GhoulSpawn The Crazed & The Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  85. You Stole My Idea - I was writing a book, but you already wrote it 10 years ago!
  86. A Day At Witch Pond & Fleeing To The Forest | Summoner of Darkness
  87. City of The Slushies | Chapter 1 | Quaraun The Insane
  88. Colour Magic - Gypsy Style
  89. Create Original Content aka I Hate Jackass Gutter Scum Thieves
  90. Lets Playing Is No Longer Fun
  91. Phookas
  92. The Signs Of Old Orchard Beach & The FBI Investigation Of The Town Hall
  93. Aspergers is NOT Autism
  94. Domain Name Branding: Should You Put Your Brand Name In Your URL?
  95. How is it that the church leaders are claiming you do not pay tithes?
  96. Summoner of Darkness: GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A Phooka
  97. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 2 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  98. Transgender, Transsexual, Transvestite, or Intersex: What Is Quaraun?
  99. Average Typing Speed
  100. How valuable is a writer’s group?
  101. Santa Claus: Lich Of The North Pole (Includes NSFW 18+ CBT Yaoi scene)








There Are 300+ Quaraun Novels Planned, Outlined, Started, and In Various Stages of Completion.
130 Were Published on FanFiction.net Between 1997 and 2012
5 Are Now Available as eBooks on Amazon,
1 Is Now In Paperback.
More Then 200 Volumes, Now Have Cover Art Finished

Here's The Latest Brand New Covers:
A Great Big Thank You To all The Wonderful Artists
Who Worked So Hard To Create All of
These Wonderful Cover Art Images For Us!

Even More Quaraun Cover Art,
-Previously Released And Already Seen Here,
But Posting Them Again,
Just Because I like These Pictures...

And Once Again, Thank You To All The Wonderful Artists Who Helped Make The Covers For This Series!


Do Keep In Mind, The Books I Write Are Yaoi & Rated M18+ and You Have Be 18 To Buy/Read Them.

What Is Yaoi?

Yaoi is a Japanese word that means "Boy's In Love" and is often shortened to BoyLove or BL. Contrary to urban myths it is not a type of Erotica and actual Japanese Yaoi rarely contains sex.

The Yaoi most Americans are familiar with is "gay fluff slash fanfiction" written by American pre-teens for FanFiction.net. However, MOST of what these children write and INCORRECTLY call "Yaoi" is actually a completely different genre Shota.

What most Americans call "Yaoi" is rarely ever Yaoi and is usually in fact Shota. The reason for this is because Shota is illegal to publish in America, and Americans get around the law by miss labeling their Shota as Yaoi instead, resulting in the common confusion Americans have over what Yaoi is and what Yaoi is not.

While Shota is a type of Erotica, Yaoi is not. Most Yaoi in fact does not contain sex scenes and focuses instead on the drama of a gay couple's life. Shota on the other hand puts sex front and center and rarely has any story at all.

Bara Yaoi is a sub genre within Yaoi which features older characters in their 40s, 50s or older. The Quaraun series is Bara Yaoi, or as it is now called Classic Bara Yaoi.

Classic Bara Yaoi is different then New Bara Yaoi. Classic Bara has been around since the 1970s. New Bara showed up in the past year or so, and features "burly" or "overly masculine" men.


The Main Character of the Quaraun Series:

The Pink Necromancer Himself

The unfortunate thing is that most Americans who slap the Yaoi tag on their fanfiction have never even actually read real Japanese Yaoi and when they finally do, they are often shocked and horrified to find out that it is NOTHING like the gay fluff slash they were writing for Fanfiction.net.

Worse, they fail to realize that Yaoi is far more then a book genre, but that it is an actual lifestyle of real live gay men in Japan.

Usually you can tell real Yaoi from gay slash fluff, by the transvestite characters.

Wait... you say you never saw Yaoi with a transvestite character? Ah! That means you never saw Yaoi then, because, you kind of can't have Yaoi without a transvestite character.

Of course than ask the average American what a transvestite is and, they'll give 101 very different and very wrong answers.

A transvestite is a man who looks like woman but is NOT trying to be a woman and DOES NOT use female pronouns.

Perhaps the best way to introduce an American to real live Yaoi is to just, show them real live, live action Yaoi, acted out by real live Uke Transvestites.

Here... have some live action Yaoi, acted out by men who are real live Japanese Twinkie Uke Transvestites and live the REAL Yaoi lifestyle...

Please note that as you watch these videos, you will not see one single solitary female in any of them.

Yes, every actor, every dancer, every singer, every musician, in every one of these videos, is a man, real live transvestites, proud of their maleness and use male pronouns...

These are ALL MEN...

Most average Americans have never seen a real live transvestite before and have no clue what they are or what they look like...

Here you go...


THIS Is Yaoi...
Acted out by real live Japanese Transvestites:





































Notice how there was NO SEX in any of those videos?
Still think you know what Yaoi is?
Find out more about Yaoi HERE.



Are The Quaraun Books Erotica?

No, the books are not Erotica. They are Bizarro Dark Fantasy (a subgenre of Horror), featuring Yaoi characters (a gay couple/trio {a dom with 2 subs} living in a Seme-Uke-Uke relationship)

Most people who have read the series, say they compare it to "a very adult version of Terry Pratchett's Discworld". I'm not sure how accurate a description that is though, as I've never read any of Terry Pratchett's books and had not heard of Discworld prior to readers contacting me and saying they liked my books because Quaraun reminded them of some wizard in the Discworld series (I can't remember what they said his name was.)

The Quaraun series is at it's core is very Alice in H.P. Lovecraft's Wonderland Bizarro, told from the drug addled perspective of a hippie-like Elf on opium and LSD.

Anything can and does happen and the reader is left not knowing what is real and what is hallucinations, because the Elf himself can not tell.

It is grim, bloody Horror, set in a 1400s Epic Fantasy world, featuring 1970s hippies (yes, there's time travel in it).


Wait... since when did books have ratings?

In America there is no official book rating system. However some countries do have book rating systems and in order to sell your books in those countries it is required that the rating be clearly marked on the cover. Most American authors simply avoid selling their books in countries that require book ratings or make separate editions just for that country, thus you rarely see books sold in America, with ratings on them.

The Quaraun series is marketed mostly to a Japanese audience, with more then 80% of book sales being sold to Japan. Germany and Brazil make up the bulk of the remaining sales. Less then 5% of sales are from American readers. France and Italy make up most of the rest of the sales. Only a fraction of a % of the books sold are to the UK and Australia.

Because my primary audience are English Language readers living in Japan, my books are thus designed for the Japanese market, thus why the book rating and the distinctive pink cover art (in Japan it is sold as Pink Humour Yaoi and you will see it shelved squished between hundreds of other titles all with equally pink covers.)

Japan is one of the countries which requires books to have clearly marked ratings on the covers.

The Japanese book rating system is very similar to the American movie rating system, and goes like this:


Japan's Book Rating System:


Rating

E

Reason

 May be suitable for readers or consumers of any age. For example, may contain mild language and fantasy violence but no swearing or nudity.

Equivalent to: Rated PG: Parental Guidance Suggested – some material may not be suitable for children. The violence in a PG rated film will not be intense. Profanity may be present in PG rated films.


T

May be suitable for early teens and older. For example, may contain violence, infrequent use of strong language, suggestive themes or situations, crude humor, alcohol and/or tobacco use.

Equivalent to: Rated PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned – some material may be inappropriate for children under 13. Use of one of the harsher "sexually-derived words" as an expletive will initially incur at least a PG-13 rating. There are several exceptional cases in which PG-13 rated films contain multiple occurrences of the word fuck: Adventures in Babysitting, where the word is used twice in the same scene;[30] The Hip Hop Project, which has seventeen uses;[31] Gunner Palace, a documentary of soldiers in the Second Gulf War, which has 42 uses of the word with two used sexually;[32] Bully, a 2011 documentary about bullying;[33] Philomena, released in November 2013, which has two uses of the word;[34] and The Martian, which also has two uses of the word.[35] Nudity is restricted to PG and above, and anything that constitutes more than brief nudity will require at least a PG-13 rating.


T16+

May be suitable for older teens and adults. For example, may contain intense and/or gory violence, sexual content, frequent strong language, alcohol, tobacco and/or other substance use.

Equivalent to: Rated R: Restricted – under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian. Strong Brutal Violence, Pervasive Language, Some Strong Sexual Content, and Drug Material. Nudity that is sexually oriented will generally require an R rating.[As of 2010, the MPAA has added a descriptor of "male nudity" to films featuring said content.[40]


M18+

Suitable for adults only. May contain extreme violence, mature themes and graphic depictions.

Equivalent to: Rated NC-17: No one 17 and under admitted.


M21+

Suitable for adults only. Contains pornographic themes. Erotica. Hentai.

Equivalent to: Rated X: No one under 17 admitted. Pornography.


More Info:

These links all go to off page sites and are not part of EelKat.com...

  1. Classification and Ratings Administration Official Website with ratings database
  2. MPAA Film Ratings website
  3. Media content ratings systems
  4. Censorship in Canada
  5. Censorship in the United States
  6. Censorship in Mexico
  7. Censorship in the United Kingdom
  8. Book censorship in the United States
  9. Book censorship in the United Kingdom
  10. Obscene Publications Acts
  11. Obscene Publications Act 1857
  12. United States obscenity law
  13. Anti-Obscenity Enforcement Act
  14. Legality of pornography in the United States
  15. Indecent exposure in the United States
  16. Censorship in the United States
  17. Video game controversies
  18. Family Entertainment Protection Act
  19. Video game content ratings systems
  20. Television content rating system
  21. International Age Rating Coalition
  22. Communications Decency Act
  23. Committee on Obscenity and Film Censorship
  24. Child Protection and Obscenity Enforcement Act (The law which bans Shota from being publishing in the United States due to on page sex with characters under the age of 16)
  25. Motion picture content rating system
  26. National Institute on Media and the Family
  27. Movie and Television Review and Classification Board
  28. List of LGBT characters in modern written fiction
  29. Gay male teen fiction
  30. List of proposed anti-gay book bans in the United States
  31. Lesbian teen fiction
  32. Homosexuality in children's literature
  33. List of books banned by governments
  34. Book censorship in the United States
  35. Sexuality and society
  36. Entertainment rating organizations

Info On Old Orchard Beach, Maine's Ban on Books Featuring Gay Characters As Well as The Ban on LGBTQ Residents Living In Old Orchard Beach, Maine: 
(Law passed January 6, 2016 - By Biddeford District court and Over Rules October 18, 2016 By Alfred Superior Court)

  1. Too Gay For Old Orchard Beach: The Quaraun Series Becomes First Book In America Officially Banned By The American Government!

Why are the books Rated M18+?

As you can see, books that are Erotica, have to be labled as M21+ to be sold in Japan. Were the Quaraun series Erotica, it would have the M21+ label not the M18+ label.

The Quaraun series is rated M18+ for:

For the most part the series is rated M18+ for excessive and explicit drug use and over use of the word "fuck".

Unicorn is from Biddeford, Maine. As such, there is a liberal use of the word fuck, which appears nearly every time Unicorn opens his mouth. One reader took the time to count how many times Unicorn said "fuck" and in one 300 page novel, Unicorn said "fuck", "fucking", or "fucked" in excess of 700 times.

The characters of the Quaraun series refer to Unicorn as "The Candy Maker". He is a drug dealer/chemist.

Quaraun is an opium addict.

GhoulSpawn is an LSD addict.

GhoulSpawn sometimes shares his LSD with Quaraun.

The series contains many accurate and inaccurate recipes and directions for how to make drugs.

Entire chapters are devoted to the High Elves doing nothing but sitting in a tavern or around a campfire, getting High, thus why other Elves refer to the High Elves as High Elves.

While traditional Fantasy novels explains High Elves as being called High because they are aristocrats, the Quaraun series explains the High Elves being called High, because they are hippies on drugs and they actually are High.

While some stories do contain graphic sex scenes on page, most contain instead sexual language, dick jokes, and a lot of cock blocking scenes of characters about to have sex but being interrupted before doing so.

  1. Most of the on page sex scenes in the Quaraun series are typical of what one would see in a PG-13 Crude Comedy movie such as Zoolander or Austin Powers. Or a prime time TV show like Big Bang Theory.
  2. A few sex scenes in the Quaraun series are typical of what you would see in an R-rated movie.
  3. About 1 in every 5 volumes contains a sex scene typical of mild Erotic Romance such as 50 Shades of Grey.
  4. Once in a while there is a hard core, play by play, sex scene typical of Erotica, PornHub, and Monster Porn.
  5. More often then not, you are told sex happened and not shown the scene itself.
  6. In most cases, you see sex about to happen, then interrupted before it does.
  7. When you do get a play by play, it is usually BDSM cock and ball torture done by a sadistic seme, to a terrified uke.

For those wondering the type of sex:

  • Quaraun and Unicorn are the primary couple.
  • Quaraun is bottom to both Unicorn and GhoulSpawn.
  • Three ways between Quaraun, Unicorn, and GhoulSpawn are not uncommon.
  • GhoulSpawn is frequently buying the services of prostitutes.
  • Quaraun also some times uses prostitutes.
  • Unicorn some times rapes GhoulSpawn.
  • Unicorn frequently rapes Quaraun.
  • Quaraun has 4 wives, Pippiatta is the one seen most frequently.
  • Quaraun's 3rd wife, Pippiatta, is Quaraun's daughter by his 2nd wife.
  • MOST sex scenes are between Quaraun and Unicorn only.
  • Many sex scenes are 4-way with Unicorn on Quaraun, and Quaraun and GhoulSpawn on Pippiatta.

For those wondering what gender each is:

  1. Quaraun is male & transvestite.
  2. Unicorn is male and has 2 penises.
  3. GhoulSpawn is male.
  4. Pippiatta is female.
  5. Quaraun is Pippiatta's father.

Though he rarely has sex with them, Quaraun is often accompanied by prostitutes. Quaraun suffers from a "penial sub-incision" injury (his penis is severely mutilated and heavily scarred), which makes it difficult for him to comfortably have sexual intercourse with women (thus why he usually bottoms for other men.)

Quaraun is a wandering vagabond wizard, who rather the stay at an inn, prefers to spend the nights at whore-houses. He is of the habit of paying prostitutes (often 4 or 5 or more at a time) to sleep with him, but not have sex with him, as he has PTSD, is scared of the dark, and does not like sleeping alone.

Because of his injury, Quaraun usually introduces himself as a Eunuch, when paying prostitutes to spend the night with him, while at the same time requesting only to sleep with them and not have sex with them.  

Quaraun is a transvestite. (A transvestite is a man who dresses/looks like a woman, but is not trying to be a woman, is perfectly content to have his penis, and still uses male pronouns; as opposed to a transsexual who is trying to become a woman and uses female pronouns). He is often mistaken for a prostitute, due to the slutty dresses he wears, and his habit of usually being in whorehouses. There are frequent rape scenes, with him often being gang raped by men who mistook him for a prostitute.

And thus you have an explanation of the sex (or more often the lack there of) in the Quaraun series.










The FBI Is Here In
Old Orchard Beach, Maine
Trying To Capture A Domestic Terrorist




Can You Help The FBI Identify This Person Who Has
Terrorized My Family Since 2001...

Blew Up Our House With a Bomb In 2006

Attacked Me Paralizing Me in 2013

Kidnapped My Cats & Cut Their Heads Off In 2015

Attacked & Crippled Me in 2016

If You Know The Identity of This Stalker
Who Uses The Online Usernames
"Kendra Silvermander" & "Tom Addams"
And Claims To Be a Member of The Ku Klux Klan

Please Call FBI Agent 
Andy Drewer 
@ (207) 774-9322  

Kendra Silvermander of NaNoWriMo
vs
Tom Addams of The Warrior's Forum
2 Psycho Stalkers?
or One Super Crazy Stalker With 2 Usernames?


Have You Seen These Kidnapped Cats?

3 of the 15 Pidgie Fund Cats Have Been Murdered

2 Have Been Found & Returned

These 10 Are Still Missing

If You Know Where They are
Please Bring Them Home

If You Know Who Is 
Holding Them Hostage

Please Call FBI Agent 
Andy Drewer 
@ (207) 774-9322  

More Information 







Help The FBI Capture Old Orchard Beach's Gay-Hating, Animal Abusing, Bomb Building, Psycho Terrorist


If life gives you lemons, then you grab life by the balls and say you're taking them too.

Why make lemonade when you can make testicle stew? 

I don't take shit from no one, I stand up to bullies like you.

~EelKat





Wasn't This Page Different Yesterday?

Answering another question: "Wasn't this page different yesterday?"

Yep. Probably. I update pages daily. Move pages constantly. Re-write codes every few weeks. Publish 1 to 10 new pages every day. And post daily updates on various pages. The front landing page (this one you are reading now) changes daily. It'll feature different articles every day.

The first draft of an article shows up here the day it's written, then 2 or 3 days later gets moved to it's own page with it's own url.

This site is VERY active. If you don't come back daily, you'll defiantly miss out on something.

We Are Now The Largest &
Most Visited Website
of Old Orchard Beach, Maine!

{{{{Hugs}}} and a great big thank you to all my wonderful fans!

As of March 2017 EelKat.com is now getting 44,000 views per month!

We've come a long way from the 300 views a month I was getting 10 years ago when the Amphibious Aliens article was first published.

We are also now the #1 web site on Google for almost every search term containing the words "Old Orchard Beach", receiving more then 7,000 hits per month just on that one search term!

With 6,000+ pages and 44,000 views per month, we are now both the largest and most trafficked website headquartered out of Old Orchard Beach, Maine. Yay!

These amazing results are all thanks to two articles: Amphibious Aliens, which now ranks as my most read article ever, and Meet The GoldenEagle: The World's Most Haunted Car, which is the most visited page on my website. Thank you to all my wonderful readers for making this possible. Without all you wonderful people this website wouldn't even be possible.

{{{Hugs}}} for you all, and thank you once again for taking the time to stop by!

~EK

Here, have a celebratory rainbow pooping cat in space, CosPlaying a strawberry poptart...

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If you play iSpy long enough with my car you can find Nyan Cat in the beadwork...

Latest Updates:

Last 5 Pages Updated:

  1. The Zaharam-Chapelle-Parunas Ethnographical Questionnaire

    Aug 20, 17 12:32 AM

    Writing Fantasy Books | World Building For Authors | The Zaharam-Chapelle-Parunas Ethnographical Questionnaire

    Read More

  2. Quaraun Free To Read Online Complete Chapter Index In Chronological Order

    Aug 19, 17 11:27 PM

    Quaraun Free To Read Online Complete Chapter Index In Chronological Order

    Read More

  3. Incest In Fiction

    Aug 19, 17 11:05 PM

    Incest In Fiction

    Read More

  4. Home Page of Bizarro Dark Fantasy Author EelKat Wendy C Allen

    Aug 18, 17 02:48 AM

    Home Page of Bizarro Dark Fantasy Author EelKat Wendy Christine Allen

    Read More

  5. What is a God in Your Universe? | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books

    Aug 16, 17 02:27 AM

    What is a God in Your Universe? | World Building | Writing Fantasy Books

    Read More

Monster Truck No Hurry as Transgender Awareness Tour Bus - Inside
Monster Truck No Hurry as Gypsy Caravan RoseBud - OutsideMonster Truck No Hurry as Transgender Awareness Tour Bus - Outside


Language Warning?

Answering another question: "Do you have to swear so much?"

Damn, fucking, bloody hell, yes. And if you don't like it, you can take your elitist shit head, stuff it up your holier than thou ass, and jump off a cliff.

I write Yaoi. As in, I'm a Yaoi author. Yaoi is noted for being crude. It's a genre that you have to be 18 or older to buy. So, yeah, you're gonna find crude language here, and you probably want to be 18 or older to read my site here as well, because the #1 thing I talk about is Yaoi and how to write it.

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We Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, are Scottish & this site therefore uses our Native Scottish English. 

Spellings like "traveller" or "neighbour" or "colour", pronoun differences "me" for "my" or "you" for "your" might look unfamiliar to you, but they are in fact correct in our language. Please refrain from letting your cultural ignorance show in my inbox.


UPDATE: April 7, 2016
Looking For Something?

We have a brand new Site Map being built to index all of the 6,000+ pages on this site. This is the current and up to date version of the site index, which is updated with new pages daily. If you are looking for something, that is the back place to find it.

Additionally, there is a new Sub-Index System going up, in the footer (appearing on every page of this site - scroll to the bottom to see it) to make it easier for you to find pages by topic. It is currently being built and should be finished by the end of the month. It'll start showing up at the bottom of every page. It will allow you to gain quicker access to articles by topic.

This update was added April 07, 2017



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The Quaraun Series On Amazon:

I am wondering why has Amazon moved the Quaraun books to the category "Transgender Romance" and also "Gay Erotica"? The base story is a deeply depressed, suicidal, drug addict Elf who's lover commit suicide and he's trying not to do the same. It's an old Elf in a tavern, monologuing a lot of flashbacks and back story scenes of his youth. These stories are dark, bloody, angsty, full of drug use, murder, rape, Medieval torture, mental/physical/emotional abuse, and references to depression and suicide - no romance in it, unless you count the occasional (and usually brutally violent) rape scenes that show up in nearly every volume - sorry - no clue what Amazon is thinking or why they moved these to Romance and Erotica, but these books are NOT even close to being Romance or Erotica on any level at all. When I published these books I put them in "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi". If they show up in any category other then "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi", it's because Amazon put them there without my authorization or approval.

~EelKat


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