Bizarro Yaoi Novel
Night of The Screaming Unicorn




A summary of the book deemed too gay for old orchard beach, maine:

NOTE: This is Bizarro Yaoi Monster Porn and contains knotting.

Here is the book that started the hate crimes:

Do YOU think THIS BOOK is "Too gay for Old Orchard Beach"?

A small, thin, sick, and very suicidally depressed, opium addicted, 300 year old Transvestite albino Moon Elf Necromancer, with an parasitic alien Jellyfish living in his brain and telling him what to do, and has white hair longer than Rapunzel's, and is wearing a pink sequin dress and a feather boa, has pointed ears a foot tall and 3 dozen ear rings in each, all connected by chains to the dozen more rings in his nose, and happens the be the most powerful wizard on the planet, but you don't want him pointing his wand at you because he can't lay off the drugs long enough to get his spells right, has just fled a Human Tavern, where he was mistaken by the Humans for being a 20-something female prostitute, and narrowly escaped a gang bang rape, but not before one of the Humans ran a sword through his belly. He was at the tavern to drink himself into an oblivion, because his lover had commit suicide.

Now terrified, wounded, on the run from a band of Humans, carrying a stolen DracoLich in his pocket that s bigger on the inside, higher then heck,  and talking to a map that is talking back to him, the very high High Elf flees to the coast hoping to find a flying ship on which to leave the planet. Before he gets there however a massive storm rises out of no-where, forcing him to seek shelter in yet another tavern, this one called The Screaming Unicorn, and surrounded by giant pine trees that have up rooted and are walking around, while hundreds purple cartoon puppy dogs bound around for no reason. (I'll point out that this is the 1400's and The Screaming Unicorn tavern has a very 1970s neon bar sign that says “Screaming Unicorn” flashing in bold bright colours.)


88,589 / 33,000 words.
284 pages.
Published!

At The Screaming Unicorn, the Elf meets a 2,000 year old, drug dealing, candy making, poppy growing, shape-shifting Faerie Horse (a Phooka), known to the locals as The Screaming Unicorn. (In Scottish mythology a Phooka is the evil black version of a Unicorn, Unicorns always being good and white). The Elf, knowing that Phookas are notorious for their habit of eating everyone they meet, tries to leave only to find the tavern was never there, the whole thing was an illusion and he's now caught in the evil Fae's trap, as he realizes too late he's been tossed down an oubliette, which contains a bedroom fit for a porn star.

Two hundred years prior to this: The Elf's lover, a Faerie and fellow Necromancer killed himself in a Lich making ritual, that went horribly wrong. His lover's soul was lost in a burning hell dimension and his body reduced to bones. The Elf attempted to finish the spell to resurrect his lover as a Lich, but not yet being a Necromancer had no idea how to cast the spell, and sent his lovers soul to live in the body of an ice sculpture shaped like a unicorn. The ice golem vanished leaving the Elf alone with no idea how to find the soul of his dead lover. And the past 200 years he has spent his life travelling around the world, drinking in taverns and casting weird mismade spells to try to bring his lover back to life – and at some point, unknown to the Elf, it worked, his lover was resurrected as a demonic unicorn lich.


100,372 / 50,000 words.
327/ 160 pages.
Published!

Back at The Screaming Unicorn Tavern, the tavern has melted away and turned into the ruins of a castle, long ago crumbled away. The Elf, thinking himself mortally wounded, a failure as a wizard, and about to be eaten by a monster, simply gives up and waits for the Unicorn to kill him, not realizing the Unicorn is in fact his now undead resurrected lover.

The Unicorn realizing the Elf does not recognize him, not knowing the Elf has a serious injury, and still being angry because of a fight they had had just before he'd commit suicide, decides to tie the Elf up and torture him, which leads to  anal sex with a monster that has four inch long thorns growing out of his Fresian stallion penis.

And that is the entire 271 page story reduced to a single page summary.













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By EelKat Wendy C Allen


If life gives you lemons, then you grab life by the balls and say you're taking them too.

Why make lemonade when you can make testicle stew? 

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~EelKat


Don't let a bully pretend they are the victim, their crocodile tears are just a deviant trick they use to hurt you even more, by convincing others to not help you.




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Top 101 Most Viewed Pages Of 2017 So Far
(Out of 9,772 pages)

(January 2017 to June 2017)
(Excluding the Home PageAbout Page, and Site Map Page, which were the top 3)

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  2. Amphibious Aliens: The Story of Etiole & The World's Most Haunted Car
  3. On being a handicapped CosPlayer at PortCon Maine 2017
  4. Flamboyant Nipples: The KKK's New Gay Hating Site About Old Orchard Beach
  5. The GoldenEagle: An Auto-biography of the World's Most Haunted Car
  6. How Long is 50,000 Words?
  7. Writing Mute Characters
  8. Autism, Asperger, PTSD, & Mad Cow: What is wrong with Quaraun? (Writing A Clinically Insane Character Accurately)
  9. Writing Dares Random Generator
  10. Stephen King's The Thinner and The Gypsies Of Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  11. The Saco River Curse
  12. Don't put flyers on people's cars...
  13. Our Primary Site Topic Is Small Penis? Reaching #1 on Page 1 of Google.
  14. Why Crude Adult Comedy and Pink Humor Yaoi Is Not Erotica
  15. Quaraun Free To Read Online Complete Chapter Index In Chronological Order
  16. Albino Races - Moon Elves In The Quaraun Series
  17. Help FBI End Anti-Gay White Power Terrorist Attacks of Old Orchard Beach
  18. Autism, Asperger's, And The Danger of The Self-Diagnosis
  19. 600 Pages: Epic Big Super Sized Novels and Why You Should Never Write One
  20. The Jiggler & The G-String Teddy Bears | The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane
  21. Spell Casting Side Effects: Magic In Quaraun's Universe | Author Interview
  22. Necromancy: Fact Vs Fiction; Or How Can You Be A Necromancer In Real Life?
  23. The Dazzling Razzberry aka EelKat's Autism Awareness Car
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  25. Markiplier Jacksepticeye and Pewdiepie Play Resident Evil 7
  26. What Type of Music Does A Gypsy Listen To? My Top 10 Favorite Bands
  27. World's Most Haunted Car Merchandise
  28. Is It a Novel, a Novella, a Short Story or Something Else?
  29. I Am Not GhoulSpawn | Excerpt From Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  30. BoomFuzzy Chapter 1 (Novel Excerpt - Quaraun The Insane)
  31. Psychedelics In A 'High' High Fantasy World (High Elves Getting High)
  32. World-building In The Quaraun Series: Creating a Fantasy World
  33. City of The Slushies | Chapter 7 | Quaraun The Insane
  34. How to Handle Writing Fantasy-Horror That Features Violence Against Children
  35. How To Write A Stage Play Script Frenzy 2010 Writing Dialogue
  36. Quaraun GhoulSpawn and The Lich Lord's Lover: The Lover's Triangle
  37. An Elf Gone Mad: The Rise of The Pink Necromancer
  38. A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond | Summoner of Darkness
  39. The Banshee Sisters: Bean-Nighe and Ben-Neeyah In the Swamp of Death
  40. Amphibious Aliens: My health since the stroke and Etiole . . .
  41. Beware of White Men In Gypsy Clothing: Fake Psychic Scams
  42. Online Income: The Reality vs The Fantasy
  43. OtherKin: My 30th Anniversary of Being Transgender
  44. Autism and the Stigmas - Why Can’t You Accept Me As Me?
  45. Old Orchard Beach Hate Crimes
  46. Suicide, Rape, and Abuse In The Quaraun Series
  47. Writing Racist Characters VS The Ku Klux Klan In Old Orchard Beach, Maine
  48. A Gallery of Fetish Shoes
  49. Custom Leggings - Designs By EelKat
  50. EGL: Elegant Gothic Lolita
  51. One Gypsy's Review of My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding
  52. Selfie: When did the X-Rated porn word get a new meaning?
  53. Daily Writing Prompts (June 2017 Archive)
  54. Quaraun The Insane Volume 1: The Night of the Screaming Unicorn
  55. Random Generators by EelKat
  56. Autistic Characters In Fiction
  57. Keywords & Pigeons: How I Do Local Business Marketing
  58. Manuscript Reading Services or Will You Read My Book and Tell Me What You Think?
  59. How to Write Hot Sex - Tips For Erotic Romance Authors
  60. How can your books have gay transvestite characters and not be Erotica?
  61. KBoards, The NaNoWriMo ML Rumor & The Vindictive Stalker
  62. Captured By The Lich Lord | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
  63. Incest In Fiction
  64. Maine UFO Sightings
  65. Page 11 - The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - The Scottish Traveller Crime Family
  66. The Southern Maine Writers Group
  67. Contact Info
  68. My Fave YouTubers Play: Dream Daddy - The Yaoi Dating Sim Otome Game
  69. Santa's Floating Dead Body | A Scene From The Summoner of Darkness
  70. Why Pink Humor Crude Adult Comedy Yaoi Is Not Erotica
  71. SideBar Archive Spring 2017
  72. The Dungeon Master & The 1974 AMC Gremlin
  73. Ideas, Ideas, Ideas (Where Do You Get Them?)
  74. Lives Destroyed: Amphibious Aliens 10th Anniversary Update
  75. Twighilight Not Twilight
  76. What exactly makes an Elf an Elf? (What is the definition of an Elf?)
  77. EelKat's Guide To NaNoWriMo Featuring The 13 Step Method To Writing
  78. A Motorhome named 'No Hurry' becomes Rosebud & The Story of Ten Kidnapped Cats
  79. BoomFuzzy's Gingerbread House From Hell
  80. An Elf and a Lich in the Gingerbread Pit | The Night of The Screaming Unicorn
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  82. Is The Quaraun Series Erotica? - No! Here's why...
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  84. Sheep | GhoulSpawn The Crazed & The Rose Garden of The Pink Necromancer
  85. You Stole My Idea - I was writing a book, but you already wrote it 10 years ago!
  86. A Day At Witch Pond & Fleeing To The Forest | Summoner of Darkness
  87. City of The Slushies | Chapter 1 | Quaraun The Insane
  88. Colour Magic - Gypsy Style
  89. Create Original Content aka I Hate Jackass Gutter Scum Thieves
  90. Lets Playing Is No Longer Fun
  91. Phookas
  92. The Signs Of Old Orchard Beach & The FBI Investigation Of The Town Hall
  93. Aspergers is NOT Autism
  94. Domain Name Branding: Should You Put Your Brand Name In Your URL?
  95. How is it that the church leaders are claiming you do not pay tithes?
  96. Summoner of Darkness: GhoulSpawn and Quaraun Trapped With A Phooka
  97. The Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach - page 2 (Online Release of Banned Book)
  98. Transgender, Transsexual, Transvestite, or Intersex: What Is Quaraun?
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“Karma comes after everyone eventually. You can't get away with screwing people over your whole life, I don't care who you are. What goes around comes around. That's how it works. Sooner or later the universe will serve you the revenge that you deserve.” 

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"By autistic standards, the “normal” brain is easily distractible, is obsessively social, and suffers from a deficit of attention to detail and routine. Thus people on the spectrum experience the neurotypical world as relentlessly unpredictable and chaotic, perpetually turned up too loud, and full of people who have little respect for personal space." 

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never judge yourself, by the way a hater judges you, you are way better then they say you are, and they know it, that's why they are trying to bring you down to their level ~EelKat


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“1. Bullying is not okay. Period.

2. Freedom of religion does not give you the right to physically or verbally assault people.

3. If your sincerely-held religious beliefs require you to bully children, then your beliefs are fucked up.” 

― Jim C. Hines