If life gives you lemons, then you grab life by the balls and say you're taking them too. Why make lemonade when you can make testicle stew? Stand up for yourself. I don't take shit from no one, and neither should you. ~EelKat
In the past year, I've encountered what has to be the most outlandish attempt by a man to get me to date him. I started writing this book after a complete stranger plops himself down at my table and starts telling the waiter that we are together and on a date, while I was eating at a restaurant, with my partner of 28 years! He then hounds me for hours while I'm shopping at WalMart, telling me all the reasons why I should leave my partner for him. Next he shows up at my mom's house with a boo-hoo story of how I stood him up (wait, what? stood him up? How can I stand him up when I don't even know his name?)
Women Don't Date Jerks or Stalkers, So Stop Being One:
Getting Past The First Date: What Girls Wish Guys Knew About Dating...How To Impress a Girl and Avoid Making Common First Date Mistakes
Then because he couldn't find my unlisted phone number he traced my dad's and called him every 15 minutes - from 9PM to 2AM every night, for 2 weeks to say: "I'm not a stalker is Wendy there, she knows me from grade school, I used to help her out when other kids bullied her. I just read her book and want to ask her out."... Uhm, yeah, I was homeschooled. I never went to public school. And who starts a conversation by saying: "I'm not a stalker"? For months, whenever I go to work or shopping, I come out to find notes taped to my car: "Hi, Honey, I need you to sew my coat." "Don't forget to darn my socks". He later shows up at another restaurant and has a public meltdown screaming fit accusing me of breaking up with him (and I still don't even know who he is.) He later shows up in my driveway saying he's got plan to build "our" house on my land!
Meanwhile a second man is daily walking up to me and saying "I love your Dolly Parton boobs, can't I touch them? I needs to gives them squeezies and huggies, ya needs some lovies." and before I can say no, he's groping me and saying I ought to date him, then pulls an 8" switchblade on me and threatens to slit my throat. I run away from him and run all the way to the nearest police station. When the police find him, he tells them he just wanted a date. THAT Sugar Pie, is NOT how you get a date.
Well, it occurred to me that there are men out there, or at least around here, desperately seeking a first date and they also seem to be very confused as to what is and is not a date, as well as how one should act in order to not come off as a creepy, scary stalker. So I decided to write up my list of things I wish guys knew about dating and first dates and ended up with this rather long rant on how much I hate the rude lewd, crude things men have done to me.
Do be warned, this isn't an advice guide, this is a hell fire, bitch feast of a rant on all the things I HATE about the men who've hounded me looking for a date and absolutely refuse to take no for an answer and why you should not do these things they did on your first date. Hide your balls boys, I'm not nice or loving in this book, because frankly, I've had it with the crude way the men around my area treat women and this woman has decided she's gonna speak out. These men wanted to know why I won't date them, and now I'm telling you what they did and EXACTLY why I refuse to date men like this, so that you don't make the same mistakes with other women, that these men made with me.
Hopefully you will read what these men did to me and learn a lesson from it and not be a total jackass when asking for a first date, the way these men were.
In short: EVERYTHING these men did to me - DON'T do them to YOUR date!
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Hugs and kisses to my wonderful fans. Love you all! Talk to you again soon.
If it ain't on this list, it's probably fake.
Throughout 2013 - 2015 a slew of FAKE "EelKat" accounts surfaced, both on social networks and on forums, most were created by a woman calling herself Kendra Silvermander, or her backhoe driving cousin who drove a backhoe over my house, the same woman and her family who cut the heads off my cats, are the same people who hacked my online accounts, created a slew of fake accounts and pretended to be me, after they beat me up on November 14, 2013, leaving me paralyzed for 5 months, relearning to walk for 18 months, and clueless to their impersonation of my online due to my life threatening crippled state that had me offline from November 2013 to March 2016.
Who they are and why they are doing this remains unknown. If you know the identity of these people, please contact the FBI in charge of the investigation into their murder attempts on my life:
Agent Andy Drewer
of the Portland FBI
NOTE: I was very active on forums from 1997 to 2007 and have RARELY used a forum since then. Other then the Warriors Forum and Absolute Write I have not posted on ANY forums AT ALL since 2012.
Note: My old inactive forum accounts were hacked and "resurrected" in 2013/2014/2015 by a psychotic NaNoWriMo ML who is upset over my having won a total of 27 writing contests/challenges and published 130+ novels since 2004 and and apparently (according to her emails) she has yet to win or publish anything.
If you see "me" posting on a forum at any point after 2012, know that it is likely this mysterious, and still yet unidentified "Kendra Silvermander".
I'm just a harmless old lady who likes to dress like and Elf and paint everything pink and write stories about Elves having sex with Unicorns. For THAT, the residents of Old Orchard Beach, call me crazy, build a bomb, blow up my house, stand in my drive way and shoot at me, kidnap my cats, cut my cats' heads off, nail my cats' heads to my door, beat my 28 year old Shetland pony's head in, drive a back hoe over my house 3 times, filled my motorhome with feces 3 feet deep, I was paralyzed for 5 months because they trespassed up in here and beat me up, 3 years later I finally recover and start walking again and they beat me up again this time with a shopping cart rupturing 3 discs in my spine while screaming "kill or be killed remember Saco Shaw's!" and they cut my car in half. I'm sorry, WHO exactly is the crazy person here?
Yes, I wear pink ball gowns every day.
Yes I wear fake pointy ears and long white Rapunzel wigs.
Yes, I paint my cars, my motorhome, and my mailbox pink.
Yes, I write about Elves having sex with Unicorns.
So the fucking hell what?
I haven't set foot off my land in 40 years. The only time I have contact with people is when THEY trespass on my yard and invade my privacy. And you know what? I've always welcomed them with happy smiles and open arms, made them meals and served them tea, and spent the day happily chatting with any one and every one who wanted to visit me. I love it when you people stop by to visit me as it's the only time I have any one to talk to other then my cats... oh wait... I don't have ANYONE to talk to any more, now that sociopath freaks murdered them and nailed their heads to my door!
You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the ones who built a bomb and blew up my house!
You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the violent trespassers who stands in my drive way and shoot at me.
You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the ones who kidnap my cats, cut my cats' heads off, nail my cats' heads to my door, beat my 28 year old Shetland pony's head in, drive a back hoe over my house 3 times, filled my motorhome with feces 3 feet deep, and cut my car in half.
I mean REALLY stand back and look around.
All I'm doing is wearing strange cloths. I'm not the violent animal abusing, bomb building, psychopath beating up elderly women... THEY are.
There's a hell of a big difference between a half blind elderly woman dressing up as comic book characters and not bothering one damned person, and violent psychopathic criminal creeps beating her up, bombing her house, driving a back hoe over 3 more of her houses, cutting her car in half, filling her motorhome with feces, murdering her horse, and slaughtering her cats!
Old Orchard Beach has a crazy person in it all right, but isn't me... and the residents of this town need to get off their asses and tell the FBI who this white haired man and his blond wife and red haired sister-in-law are BEFORE THEY KILL ME! The red haired woman calls herself Kendra Silvermander.
I don't know who this man and his two women are. They are strangers to me. I don't know their names. And I don't know why they are doing this. Some body in this town must know who these people are ... PLEASE... the FBI is trying to put a stop to these insane hate crimes... PLEASE if you know who these psychopathic monsters are, PLEASE tell Agent Andy Drewer before they kill me. They cut my car in half in 2010. They cut my cats in half in 2015. How long do you think it'll be before they cut ME in half too? PLEASE HELP ME!
➽ ➽ ➽ If you have any information regarding the identity of the stalker/attacker/driver of the 4-door white pick-up truck please contact Officer Tim DeLuca of the Old Orchard Beach Police Department @ 207-934-4911 and/or
Agent Andy Drewer
of the Portland FBI
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Please help the police and FBI put this brutal, violent, psychotically deranged stalker family in prison.
Have Information? Call FBI Agent Andy Drewer @ (207) 774-9322
Rather then ask the crazy gun-toting neighbours, and risk get shot by the psychotically deranged, white power gay haters that live up and down my street, patrolling obsessively by my driveway every 15 minutes in a 4 door white pick-up truck, just get directions from Google Maps. Here, you can find 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, ME right here:
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