EelKat Wendy C Allen - Author Interview: Spell Casting Side Effects: Magic In Quaraun's Universe | Fantasy Author Interview

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EelKat Wendy Christine Allen
Author, Artist, & Art Car Designer
 

How to say my name?

Eel + Cat = EelKat













By EelKat Wendy C Allen


Quaraun The Insane 
The Summoner of Darkness
A Day At Witch Pond & Fleeing To The Forest
(No clue what chapter it is, it's anyone's guess)


It has been brought to my attention, by several fans, that you have read all the currently published novels and are eagerly awaiting publication of the rest of the series. However, life being what it is, the town of Old Orchard Beach being what it is, and my health being what it is... publication of the novels got put on hold with an entire 2 years passing with no new novels published.

As I have many chapters of each volume finished, and each story can be read on their own in any order, without continuing one to the next, I have come to the conclusion that the best way to sait your appetite for more Quaraun, in between the publication of the finished novels, the best thing to do therefore is to simply publish the chapters that are finished here on my site, to give you something to read while waiting for each novel to be finished.

Please note that while not erotica, the Quaraun series is sold as "Adult Entertainment" and is not intended for readers under the age of 18.


The Quaraun Series Is Yaoi. The Series Is Psychedelic Unicorn Porn & Contains Masochistic Drug Addicted Transvestite Twinkie Uke Elves Having Sex with Sadistic Drug Dealing UnDead Seme Unicorns

While not Erotica, you must be 18 or older to buy the novels this excerpt comes from, due to drug use, language, sexual situations, and graphic depictions of suicide.














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The Summoner of Darkness:
A Day At Witch Pond & Fleeing To The Forest

    Continued From HERE...

After walking for another quarter of a mile they reached what they assumed to be Witch Pond. There was no sign to tell them this was the place, but it was a pond, surrounded by a swamp, with spooky dead wood trees all about, and certainly looked like a place any self respecting witch would pick for a home. Indeed across the pond they could see, half hidden by the forest, what appeared to be a perfectly sterotypical witch's hovel on the shore. It was as perfectly spooky as a picture on a Halloween card.

Quaraun wasn't noticing the pond or the hoval on the other side. He was too busy slumped over a boulder, vomiting. The poor Elf was not doing much better then he had been eariler when they had seen the sign post directing them to the pond.

"How long does this stuff take to wear off?" ZooLock asked Unicorn. 

The priest was becoming increasingly agitated by the Elf's increased lack of sanity.

"No way to tell." Unicorn's bolsterous expression stilled and grew serious. "I did no see what he took or how much. I usualy monitor these things. Him small Elf. Do'na take much to get him gone loopy. Him too prone to overdose himself for me to trust him taking anyt'ing on hims own."




For anyone who ever wondered
how to dress like Quaraun.
He wears many layers:
harem/palazzo pants, under a
lose kaftan or abaya jilbab dress
under a tight cinched corset,
under a sari wrap,
under a kimono,
under a cloak made of silk and
covered in pink turkey feathers.
He often wears a veil and or hijab.
All in pink, sometimes with orange
usually heavily beaded and embroidered
with giant paisley, hearts, and flowers.
Sometimes he also wears silver-gray, black,
or lilac, instead of pink, but rarely.
He is a transvestite Gypsy from Persia
he is also a Twinkie Uke and
his clothen reflects this.
Men he meets in Maine where he lives,
refer to him as slutty, trashy, and
looking like a whore or prostitute,
because his wardrobe in the books is
the exact same wardrobe I own and
wear every day and those are the things men in Maine
say to me every time I go out in public.


"He's done this before then?" ZooLock twisted several puce tentacles worriedly. "I'm not happy with the idea of him tampering with his mind. Think of how this effects the eggs... the poor Sacred Pink Jelly Fish."

"He be high almost every day."

"He is?"

"Aye." 

"I've never seen him do this before." 

ZooLock stared at the spaced out Elf.

"No. Him usually not take enough to make it act like this. He took too much of somet'ng. Would help if I knew what it was him took. It'll wear off after a while though. Not much we can do but wait."

"How long does it usually last?"

"Six hours."

"Six hours! Six hours of this? What will that do to the wee ba... the Jelly Fish?"

"Ayha." Unicorn answered. "Six hours minimum. Twelve hours if he took other stuff same time, which he might have. Un I t'ink the Jelly Fish the one what does it. Him did no take this stuff before him had Jelly brain ya know. Ya Sacred Pink Jelly Fish is very unhappy at being implanted in him head, ya know? She wanted her freedom. When ya kidnapped her out of her ocean. She dreamed of escape. When ya kept her looked in a tiny bowl of water, she hoped to return to her sea. Now she trapped for eternity in the skull of an Elf. She can no stand it. It torture for her. She not born inside Elf body like ya was. She was feral Thullid in natural state. Ya took that away from her. It why she keeping ya in chains now. Yis be priest what put her in this Elf. She want ya to know what it feels like to have ya freedom taken away."

"I was not trying to hurt her. I never wanted to hurt her. I saved her. The rebels would have killed her. Putting her in this Elf was the only way to save her life."

"Ya killed the Elf. I t'ink she would rather have died instead. Only t'ing that keeps her going is trying to be the Elf she killed. And she having a hard time of that or t'is sort of t'ing would na keep a happening."

"And you don't know what he took?"

"Him were picking flowers. I did nae knows he was eating them as well. I could have paids attention to which ones he was eating, had I gone and thunk he would eat them."

"What might he have eaten?"

"Poppies most likely. We was in a field of poppies. Shit ton load of poppies back in that field. More likely was drinking raw tears, straight from the pod. Not as strong as if it were refined, but certainly different reaction from normal. Or Morning Glories. There could have been some morning glories out there. Right time of year for the seed pods on them too. A handful of those would has done this to him. Or mushrooms. Mushrooms is everywhere and him be known to grab a few of those from time ta time. And spearmint. Been seeing that everywhere. He could has been chewing on it all day. Who knows? All thems grow wilds around here. Who knows what else? I does nae knows this forest. All sorts of strange tings could be out here for him to nibble on and get wonky with."

"You do not suggest he just randomly eats plants not knowing what they'll do to him?"

"Oh fuck yeah. Him does it all the time. Always on look out for new plants to give him new highs. Him fucking wicked addicted to it in fact."

"And he does this frequently?"

"Aye. Every damn fucking day, him taking trips to the moon. Ya get used to it."

"Why have I never seen him do this before?"

"Well, usually I give him stuff and him does not go looking for it on him own. I knows how much to give him to keep him from going off fucking deep end like this, sos usually ya sees him just wide eyed and not acting too much out of character for him."

"So he took too much of something?"

"Too much? Oh hell, yeah, too much of somet'ng and wrong time of day."

"What does time of day have to do with it?"

"In day time it impair him judgement, like what ya seeing right this now. I usually give it to him just before bed. Helps him sleep. Him too scared of sleep otherwise."

"He's scared to sleep?" ZooLock stared at the Elf. "How does one be scared of sleep?"

"Nightmares. Bad ones. Fucking pogo man."

"Pogo man? What's that?"

"I don't know. His dad murdered his mum when him was just wee lil pup of an Elf. Then him has murder of him four babies stuck in him head. And me fucking suicide does plague him every night. Him cling to me desperate to make sure I does no re-die on him again. Him no sleep well. Him go many weeks between sleep. So I make him happy dreams. Give him eggnog to send him to happy lands at night. This way him have happy dreams. Usually. I try to not give it to him during the day, on account of him get like this."

"That doesn't have anything to do with the things you do to him at night?"

"Aye. It does. That be a Yorhinbre bark. Oooh! Makes him all tingly in his balls! Gets him wanting to rub them on something to relieve the tension. Let's me rub me own balls on his. We both get to go to high heaven."

"Does he know you're drugging him so you can molest him?"

"Aye. It were his idea."

"His idea?"

"Him like the drugs. Him like getting the tingles in him balls. Him like getting double fucked up his arse by a double dicked horse. Him like hanging by his balls from the ceiling."

"He... what?"

"Heh ha! Ya should join us in bed sometime Squidy. T'ink of all de places ya could stick them tentacles."

"Why I never!"

Unicorn had let go of Quaraun and the Moon Elf wandered away from the road, zig-zagging back and forth along the edge of the pond.

"Hey!" Unicorn called out to the Elf. "Ya gets ya arse too close ya gonna fall in."

Quaraun wasn't listening however. He was too busy staring down at the pink and white lily pads growing along the edge. Unicorn trotted up beside Quaraun.

"Whatcha looking at?"

The pony stared down into the water, but saw nothing but lily pads floating quietly in the murky peat boggy muck that rippled along the pond's mossy edge. Suddenly Quaraun yelped and ran, stumbling across the road, and falling into the ditch.

"Oh fuck titties! What are ya doing in there?" Unicorn said as he trotted across the road. "Ya missed the pond when ya fell over. But ya fricking muckier here then had ya landed in the water."

"There is a fuzzy Swamp Shark after me," Quaraun said, terror dripping from his voice.

Unicorn looked back at the pond. 

"There were nothing there," he said as he turned back to Quaraun.

ZooLock waddled over to the water and looked in. "Nope. Nothing here," he agreed with the horse.

"There's sharks in the water," Quaraun said as he huddled back against the tree he was leaning against. "They're falling out of the sky."

Quaraun pointed down to the water.

"Outta the sky?"

Quaraun nodded. Still pointing at the water.

"That not sky."

"What is ir?" Quaraun whispered, his voice growing more fearful.

"It be water."

The Moon Elf's eyes widened even bigger then they already were.

"Water?"

"Ayah. Water."

"That's water?"

"Yep."

"Why is it up there?"

Unicorn brought his face close to the Elf's and looked deep into his eyes. Quaraun's pupils were dilated so much that the blue of his eyes was no where to be seen.

"Morning glories is my guess," Unicorn said to ZooLock. "Look at what it has done to him eyes. Him eyes get like that when him has had too many morning glory seeds. Not sure him know how to count or measure. T'ree hundred seeds is him limit. He prob'y ate way more then that."

Quaraun screamed again and grabbed hold of Unicorn, hugging the pony for dear life.

"They're after me," the frightened Elf wailed.

"What is?" Unicorn crocked between the Elf's strangle hold on his throat, looking around and seeing nothing.

"Sharks. They want my testicles."

"Sharks live in oceans. This here be pond. Swampy pond."

"They're Swamp Sharks," Quaraun whispered. "They're gonna take my eggs!"

"There be no such t'ing."

"They're covered with fur."

"Sharks don't has no fur."

"They're right behind you."

"I sees nothing."

"You never do," ZooLock added. "You're blind."

"Yis not helping, ZooLock."

"I saw them," Quaraun whispered.

"I bet ya did," Unicorn whinnied. "Ya gone loopy today. I does no doubt ya seeing a lot of t'ings right now."

"I see a meadow up ahead," ZooLock pointed out. "Perhaps we should get him over there. He can rest for a few hours. We can watch for danger from the hill and he could sleep off whatever this is he's on."

 "Aye. Excepting him no gonna sleep. Him wide awake and ready to run at every sound. More so then usual."

Unicorn turned back into his Humanoid form and reached he hand out to the fallen Moon Elf who was still sitting in the mud in the ditch.

"Come on, we sees a place ya can rest. No sharks to bite ya balls off over there. See?" 

Unicorn pointed towards the direction ZooLock had suggested the meadow to be in. He couldn't see the meadow, but he assumed ZooLock to be telling the truth. Being almost blind, he couldn't really do anything else.

When they reached the meadow, Unicorn directed Quaraun to sit and rest rest. He sat down beside the Elf and watched as Quaraun, once again, slowly fell over and then stared up at the sun.

"There's no sharks on the sun," Quaraun said.

"Nope, not one," Unicorn agreed. "Ya balls is safe here."

Nothing else happened for quiet some time. Quaraun spent the rest of the day, laying on his back, intently watching the clouds drift by and pointing out the various monsters he saw jumping out of them, while Unicorn and ZooLock, tried to patently wait for the drugged Elf to come back to his senses. 

~o0o~

Several hours slowly drifted past and soon the pink glaze of sunset was whispering against the big fluffy white clouds.

"There's a pretty, pink sequined axolotli up there," Quaraun said, pointing up at the clouds. His voice sounded clear and normal again.

"What a axolotli?" Unicorn asked.

"A white salamander that lives under the water."

"That was a full and complete sentence."

Quaraun turned his head and looked at the Faerie Horses sitting beside him.

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Ya been gibbering about strange t'ngs all day, most of them not coming out in full sentences, half the time slurred up so much ya can no tell what words it was ya were intending to be saying."

"I took too much of something, didn't I?"

"Aye. Ya did."

Quaraun sat up and looked around.

"Where are we?"

"Having a moment of quiet contemplation on a nice grassy knoll overlooking Witch Pond."

"Witch Pond?" Quaraun gazed out over the swampy pond. "What are we doing here?"

"Ya tells me. It be ya idea to come here."

"It was?"

"Ya was tripping quiet a lot this morning."

"Yes. I remember ... some .... of it. How did we get here?"

"We does what we always does. We walked. Kind of half dragged ya. Ya was looking at stars and moons where there were none."

"I'm dirty."

"Yeah, ya kept laying in the road. Could nea get ya to stand up most of the day."

"I need a bath," Quaraun said.

"Aye." 

"Help me bathe."

Unicorn watched Quaraun as he bathed himself. It always amazed Unicorn that this Elf who daily sought out a brook, pond, river, lake, or ocean to wade into and bathe himself, was also the same Elf who ran screaming in mortal terror from bridges, had a horrific fear of crossing water via fallen logs, avoided rain, and spent an inordinate amount of time worrying that he'd fall into puddles and drown.

“Tell me how it is," Unicorn asked Quaraun. "That ya be so fearfully terrified of every wee little thing. Water afearing ya more then most things. How does someone so terrified of water, bathe so much?”

Quaraun looked down at the water he was currently waist deep in.

"I am scared of water, but I'm more afraid of being dirty.”

"Ya is dirty this time, but what about all the other times?"

"Other times?"


(sex scene removed)


As they sit on grassy hill overlooking Witch Pond, which is actually a large swamp, edged with dead wood trees, Quaraun contemplated the events of the day. The ones which he could remember, that is. The murky water was covered with lily pads and cattails along the roadside edge. To the far side across the pond, he could see a beaver damn. Beaver chewed tree stumps stood here and there around the road side. Quaraun was sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest, his chin resting on his knees. Unicorn, in the form of a little black Shetland pony, was sitting beside the Elf, quietly munching on grass. ZooLock was laying on the grass to the other side of Quaraun and had fallen asleep.

"This is a nice place," Quaraun said quietly.

"It is," Unicorn agreed.

"Where are we?"

"I'd say ya has arrived at a vast, dark, foggy swamp." 



Hamsa
Eye of The Grigoi
Eye of the Watchers
Eye of God
Hand of God
Eye of Protection
Evil Eye
Gypsy Curse


"This inspires some memories for me."

"Eh?"

"The Swamp of Death."

"Aye. Ya does nae want to be going back there."

"I killed BeaLuna."

"I know."

"She was a ghost all this time."

"Aye."

"And Bullgaar?"

"Him were a nzambie. It why him never talked."

"I didn't mean to kill BeLuna. She showed up after I killed the Moon Elves. I... I ... she walked up behind me and ... I don't know what happened. I can't remember. She was my best friend. I never would have hurt her. Gnomes don't live that long. I didn't notice. Three centuries went by. Gnomes only live two or three hundred years. They're not long lived like Elves. I got there. Back in the Deep North, a few days after leaving the Screaming Unicorn Tavern, and there's a Human village built up there now. It's like the Moon Elves never existed. And BeLuna was there. Still there, right where she had been when... I ... I ... killed her. But I didn't notice. She was a ghost. And she started following me. Followed me every where. I couldn't get rid of her. Why didn't I know she was a ghost?"

"Ya was in shock."

"But I'm a Necromancer."

"Aye. And that be why ya could see her when, most no one else could."

"Did you see her?"

"Aye. I is dead too, remember?"

"Do people see you?"

Unicorn stopped chewing grass. Quaraun was asking hard questions now. Looking at a truth that he didn't want to see. A truth Unicorn knew eventually the poor Elf would have to face.

"Ya talk to people no one else sees, Quaraun. It why they think ya insane."

"People couldn't see BeLuna and Bullgaar, could they?"

"No." 

"Do people see you?"

"No. Not many."

"Why do I see you?"

"Does it matter?"

"People talk to you."

"Do they?"

Quaraun stared at the Phooka.

"Don't they?"

"Quaraun, the world ya see... it ain't the world every one else sees. People ya see, they ain't always there. People ya talk to, they ain't always saying what ya t'inks they is. Ya is insane, Quaraun."

"I'm not insane."

"Ya has a Thullid in ya head, eating ya brain. It making ya see un hear t'ings no one else does. ZooLock there, him understand. Him were Elf once. Him real. He can help. I t'ink he wants to help. He really does like ya Quaraun."

"Are you real?"

"I is a golem ya built."

"Why did I do that?"

"Because yis very lonely. Ya people did bad t'ings to ya. They tortured ya un  then they killed the Phooka that protected ya from them. Ya could no face his death. He was the only one who loved ya. Some t'ing broke inside ya head when he died. Ya ain't been right since."

"Are you real?"

"Aye."

"How can I tell?"

"We are soul bound, remember? Ya poor, sad little Elf. Ya bound ya soul to a Phooka."

"You died."

"I know, but ya brought me back."


(sex scene removed)








"This is a nice place," Quaraun said quietly, sighing in pleasant exhaustion.

"It is," Unicorn agreed.

"So quiet," Quaraun said dreamily. "And peaceful and relaxing and..."

The Elf suddenly stood up, his long thin ear perked up high over his head, listening for danger.

"What ya hearing?" Unicorn asked.

"People. A wagon's coming."

Unicorn sniffed the air. "Humans. I can smell tem."

"There's a turtle in the road."

"Is there?"

"They'll kill it."

Quaraun jumped up and started running down the glade back to the road.

"Hey! Where is ya off to?"

"Got to move the turtle out of the way of the wagons," Quaraun called back.

"Ya crazy Elf. Get back here!"

Unicorn stood up and followed the Elf. He wasn't in any hurry, so by the time he reached the road, Quaraun was standing in the middle of the road, yelling at the band of Humans and refusing to let them pass until the giant snapping turtle had finished crossing the road.

"Thought ya was gonna move the turtle?" Unicorn asked.

"It's too heavy, I can't lift it and it's a snapping turtle. Pick it up wrong it'll bite your hands off."

"That a damn big turtle," Unicorn said, looking at the giant snapper. "Would take five people to lift her."

Quaraun went back to arguing with the Humans while Unicorn watched the turtle slowly make it's way across the dirt road, towards the swampy Witch Pond. The turtle was so big that it wasn't possible for the wagons to fit by without hitting it. 

"I does no remember an island in the pond earlier," Unicorn said. But no one was listening.

The Humans with the wagons were in a hurry to get to where ever they were going before nightfall and did not want to wait for the turtle and suggested the turtle would make a good stew for tonight's super, which in turn sent the vegetarian Elf into a fit of hysterics.

"Quaraun..." Unicorn tried to talk to the Elf.

Quaraun now had his wand pulled out and was threatening to kill the Humans if they killed the turtle.

"Quaraun?"

"Not now."

"Now good time."

"I'm busy!"

"Uhm," Unicorn said, trying to get Quaraun's attention. "The island is moving."

"Islands don't move," Quaraun sputtered, not paying attention to Unicorn as he glared at the closest Human and pointed his wand in their face.

Unicorn took a few steps back, staring up high above them.

"Ya right, it no island." 

A large shadow went across the road.

"Quaraun. We needs to run."

"What? Why?"

Quaraun turned to face the pond, just in time to see a giant turtle, big as a house, rising up out of the water, on her way to the shore to protect her baby.

"Oh dear!"

Quaraun didn't have a chance to say any more, before Unicorn grabbed his arm and ran off the road towards the forest. 

"We needs to get to da trees, it too big to pass t'rough 'em."

The Humans were screaming and yelling and instead of running, drawing swords and arrows to battle the beast. Quaraun looked back into to see the massive turtle open it's mouth wide and scoup up a wagon filled with Humans and swallow it whole.

"It just ate them!"

"Yeah, well lets get oot of here before it eat us." 

ZooLock, who had been watching all of this from the meadow ran into the forest to catch up with Quaraun and Unicorn. The Elf stopped to catch his breath.

"What if the Humans follow us," ZooLock asked.

"What if they do?" Quaraun said, gasping for air. "I am so out of shape."

"They was pretty mad at you for making them stop, if any of them survive that turtle beast, they'll blame the deaths of the others on you."

"Good point."

Quaraun stared at the swamp's deadwod trees towering above him.

"Don't let them follow us," the Necromancer said to the trees.

Instantly every dead tree in the forest, uprooted itself and went marching off towards the Humans. The Humans worked frantically to drag their wounded from the pond's edge and avoid being eaten by the turtle, as the forest began to eat their dead.

"Great!" Unicorn said sarcastically. "And now if any survive they will just kill ya no questions asked."

"Come on," Quaraun said as he turned and walked deeper into the forest. "The more distance we put between us and them the better."

"What if some of them Humans survive?"

"They won't."

"What if they do?"

"They won't. The trees will eat them if they try to follow us."

"So what happened to all ya, live and let live, harm none crap?"

Quaraun shrugged.

"I'm a Necromancer. Besides, they're Humans. I'm an Elf. My job is to protect nature from Humans." Quaraun stopped walking and stood thinking for a moment.

"Thought Humans was part of the nature ya Elves was supposed to be protecting?"

"You're right. What happened to me? I'm evil. I didn't used to be evil. I don't want to be evil. What's wrong with me? I just sent dead trees to eat people. I shouldn't have done that. Why did I do that?"

"Because they was heavily armed highway men who would have hunted us down and slit our throats had ya not done it."

"That doesn't make it right, what I did. I shouldn't have done it. Let's go."


Continued HERE...           


Did You Know:
Summoner of Darkness
was written on location at the real Witch Pond?

If You Want To Visit Witch Hole Pond For Yourself, Here Are The Directions To It: 
(Address is: Witch Hole Pond, Carriage Road, Mt. Desert Island, Acadia National Park, Bar Harbour, Maine)

Interview With EelKat
While Walking On The Real Road To
Witch Hole Pond In Bar Harbour, Maine






And the swamp just before the pond...






Driving Park Loop Road






And climbing Bubble Rock Mountain...












The Summoner of Darkness

Back from the dead, once again with Unicorn in tow, and now with the Thullid priest ZooLock his prisoner shackled in chains, Quaraun is headed back to The Screaming Unicorn Tavern in Old Orchard Beach, but finds himself cursed with endless bad luck, as one thing after another drops out of the sky in his path.

Highwaymen, hellhounds, a turtle as big as a house, fire breathing butterflies, a train station from the 20th century, and a strange glow-in-the-dark demonic wizard with pockets full of sheep, who sits in a red armchair in poppy field in the 1400s reading 1980s spellbooks books by Gary Gaygax.

Quaraun goes head to head against The Gremlin, a time traveling wizard from the future who refuses to allow the Pink Necromancer back into Old Orchard Beach, where since his last visit, an evil Sorcerer named HellBorne has erected a giant cursed lighthouse known as The Black Tower.

ZooLock however has other plans, and while 4 rival wizards tear up the town in a wizard's duel, the Squid Headed Aliens From Neptune's Moon and their armies of JellyFish worshiping cultists arrive in town to preform a ritual that will unleash an Elder Brain Chaos Demon, known as The Sacred Pink JellyFish on the world. Too bad they didn't know she was already in town.


The Half-Elf Thief With Pockets Full of Sheep



A Field of Poppies On The Road To Witch Pond



Santa's Dead Floating Body



The Gremlin's Warning



The Abandoned Cathedral



HellBorne The Evil, Lord of Black Tower



The Wizard's Duel









This novel was originally written on: 2014 - 2016

This page last updated on: April 17, 2017

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Looking To Connect With the REAL EelKat?

❤️ ❣️ ☮

Below is a list of the ACTUAL, REAL, OFFICIAL online accounts owned and managed by me:

on Amazon:  ► http://www.amazon.com/author/eelkat

on FaceBook - Profile:  ► http://www.facebook.com/EelKat

on FaceBook - Fan Page:  ► https://www.facebook.com/EelKatWendyCAllen

on FaceBook - Writer's Group:  ► https://www.facebook.com/ShortStoryWriters

on Google+:  ► https://plus.google.com/+EelKat/posts/p/pub

's Home Page:  ► http://www.EelKat.com

on Instagram:  ► https://www.instagram.com/eelkat

on Itch.io:  ► https://eelkat.itch.io

on MySpace:  ► https://www.MySpace.com/eelkat

on Pinterest:  ► https://www.pinterest.com/eelkat

on Spoonflower:  ► http://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/eelkat

on Steam:  ► http://steamcommunity.com/id/eelkat

on Tumblr: ► http://eelkat.tumblr.com

on Twitter:   ► https://twitter.com/EelKat

on YouTube - Subscribe Today! ► https://www.youtube.com/user/EelKat

on Zazzle:  ► http://www.zazzle.com/eelkat

❤️ ❣️ ☮

Looking for the Quaraun books? The original Unicorn Porn #Yaoi short stories are no longer available, but are currently being compiled in chronological order and republished as novels. The new Kindle novel editions can be found here:   http://tinyurl.com/Quaraun 

Interviews about the Quaraun series: 

❤️ ❣️ ☮

Hugs and kisses to my wonderful fans. Love you all! Talk to you again soon.  

If it ain't on this list, it's probably fake.

~EK 


Throughout 2013 - 2015 a slew of FAKE "EelKat" accounts surfaced, both on social networks and on forums, most were created by a woman calling herself Kendra Silvermander, or her backhoe driving cousin who drove a backhoe over my house, the same woman and her family who cut the heads off my cats, are the same people who hacked my online accounts, created a slew of fake accounts and pretended to be me, after they beat me up on November 14, 2013, leaving me paralyzed for 5 months, relearning to walk for 18 months, and clueless to their impersonation of my online due to my life threatening crippled state that had me offline from November 2013 to March 2016.

Who they are and why they are doing this remains unknown. If you know the identity of these people, please contact the FBI in charge of the investigation into their murder attempts on my life:

Agent Andy Drewer

of the Portland FBI

@ 207-774-9322 

NOTE: I was very active on forums from 1997 to 2007 and have RARELY used a forum since then. Other then the Warriors Forum and Absolute Write I have not posted on ANY forums AT ALL since 2012.

Note: My old inactive forum accounts were hacked and "resurrected" in 2013/2014/2015 by a psychotic NaNoWriMo ML who is upset over my having won a total of 27 writing contests/challenges and published 130+ novels since 2004 and and apparently (according to her emails) she has yet to win or publish anything.

If you see "me" posting on a forum at any point after 2012, know that it is likely this mysterious, and still yet unidentified "Kendra Silvermander".

More information about Kendra Silvermander and what she did can be found here.

Let's think about something here...

I'm just a harmless old lady who likes to dress like and Elf and paint everything pink and write stories about Elves having sex with Unicorns. For THAT, the residents of Old Orchard Beach, call me crazy, build a bomb, blow up my house, stand in my drive way and shoot at me, kidnap my cats, cut my cats' heads off, nail my cats' heads to my door, beat my 28 year old Shetland pony's head in, drive a back hoe over my house 3 times, filled my motorhome with feces 3 feet deep, I was paralyzed for 5 months because they trespassed up in here and beat me up, 3 years later I finally recover and start walking again and they beat me up again this time with a shopping cart rupturing 3 discs in my spine while screaming "kill or be killed remember Saco Shaw's!" and they cut my car in half. I'm sorry, WHO exactly is the crazy person here? 

Yes, I wear pink ball gowns every day.

Yes I wear fake pointy ears and long white Rapunzel wigs.

Yes, I paint my cars, my motorhome, and my mailbox pink.

Yes, I write about Elves having sex with Unicorns.

So the fucking hell what?

I haven't set foot off my land in 40 years. The only time I have contact with people is when THEY trespass on my yard and invade my privacy. And you know what? I've always welcomed them with happy smiles and open arms, made them meals and served them tea, and spent the day happily chatting with any one and every one who wanted to visit me. I love it when you people stop by to visit me as it's the only time I have any one to talk to other then my cats... oh wait... I don't have ANYONE to talk to any more, now that sociopath freaks murdered them and nailed their heads to my door!

You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the ones who built a bomb and blew up my house!

You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the violent trespassers who stands in my drive way and shoot at me.

You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the ones who kidnap my cats, cut my cats' heads off, nail my cats' heads to my door, beat my 28 year old Shetland pony's head in, drive a back hoe over my house 3 times, filled my motorhome with feces 3 feet deep, and cut my car in half.

I mean REALLY stand back and look around.

All I'm doing is wearing strange cloths. I'm not the violent animal abusing, bomb building, psychopath beating up elderly women... THEY are.

There's a hell of a big difference between a half blind elderly woman dressing up as comic book characters and not bothering one damned person, and violent psychopathic criminal creeps beating her up, bombing her house, driving a back hoe over 3 more of her houses, cutting her car in half, filling her motorhome with feces, murdering her horse, and slaughtering her cats!

Old Orchard Beach has a crazy person in it all right, but isn't me... and the residents of this town need to get off their asses and tell the FBI who this white haired man and his blond wife and red haired sister-in-law are BEFORE THEY KILL ME! The red haired woman calls herself Kendra Silvermander.

I don't know who this man and his two women are. They are strangers to me. I don't know their names. And I don't know why they are doing this. Some body in this town must know who these people are ... PLEASE... the FBI is trying to put a stop to these insane hate crimes... PLEASE if you know who these psychopathic monsters are, PLEASE tell Agent Andy Drewer before they kill me. They cut my car in half in 2010. They cut my cats in half in 2015. How long do you think it'll be before they cut ME in half too? PLEASE HELP ME!

➽ ➽ ➽ If you have any information regarding the identity of the stalker/attacker/driver of the 4-door white pick-up truck please contact Officer Tim DeLuca of the Old Orchard Beach Police Department @ 207-934-4911 and/or

Agent Andy Drewer

of the Portland FBI

@ 207-774-9322 

 ◀️ ◀️ ◀️ ☎️

Please help the police and FBI put this brutal, violent, psychotically deranged stalker family in prison.

Have Information?
Call FBI Agent Andy Drewer @ (207) 774-9322 





Need Directions?

Rather then ask the crazy gun-toting neighbours, and risk get shot by the psychotically deranged, white power gay haters that live up and down my street, patrolling obsessively by my driveway every 15 minutes in a 4 door white pick-up truck, just get directions from Google Maps. Here, you can find 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, ME right here:


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