If life gives you lemons, then you grab life by the balls and say you're taking them too. Why make lemonade when you can make testicle stew? Stand up for yourself. I don't take shit from no one, and neither should you. ~EelKat
You are reading page #46 of EelKat's Guide to NaNoWriMo. If you have just starting reading this, please go back toPage 1to read this entire series from it's beginning.
"I'm sure a lot of folks know straight away which story they're going to write, but how do you choose if you've got multiple contenders to pick from?
The better outline?
The better conflict?
The most vocal cast of characters?
Whichever project you feel most passionate about at 12:00:01 AM on November 1st?
How do you pick which story to write?
Also I'd wondered previously about trying to work on multiple WIPs at once. Has anybody had good results with that? It seems like it might give you more scenes to choose from whenever you sit down, so you're more likely to have something that you're passionate about at any given time. It also seems confusing and hubristic. "
First a quick background history of what exactly I write, otherwise my answer to how I pick what I write will sound utterly ludicrous to you.
I'm a full-time career writer/author. Been writing professionally for 35 years this year. This year will be my 10th NaNoWriMo (and 19th OLL writing contest, including Script Frenzy and CampNaNo.)
I write a long running serial/pulp fiction series (started in 1978, and currently spanning more than 200 stories). It's a mad dash mix of satire, sci-fi, horror, and romance, about vampire like aliens trapped on earth, living in a sentient house that eats people. The series has 75 separate main characters, spans a time period from the 1600s to the current era and into the future, and includes races from multiple galaxies, including talking cats, flying cars, and furniture that comes alive and walks around. On earth, in addition to humans, all the standard Fae races abound (Phookas, MerFolk, etc.) along with Cryptozoology races (LoveLand Frog, Chupacabra, etc). It's very, very dark and bloody (Splatter Punk Gorn). There is grizzly, gory, bloody scenes on every page, and graphic sex (erotica bordering on porn) about every 5 pages. (Blood and sex for the sake of blood and sex, to the point of taking precedence over plot at times). Everything and everyone (including a grandfather's clock and a pipe organ) wants to eat humans. To make it even more ridiculous the whole thing is written tongue in cheek, poking fun at everything from religion to politics (thus is gets classified by some readers as dark humor, or gallows satire). The primary main character is the guy (vampire) who owns the flesh eating haunted house, and his half-vampire/half-merman drag queen son. Good guys always die, villains always win. Usually the story ends when the villain eats the good guy.
If you were to compare it to a movie, think of it as the characters from Rocky Horror Picture Show, acting out Saw and Evil Dead in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. (That's how one of my readers described it to me.) It's published through "underground grindhouse indie press" and gets slapped an "M rated; not for readers under 21" sticker whenever a mainstream book store sells it (which is rare). It was easier to publish in the 1970s when I started writing it, but publishing laws changed in 1997 and now it's incredibly hard to find a publisher who will touch it (too controversial) and so in the past 10 years or so I've been forced to have to self-publish the later editions of it.
When I joined NaNoWriMo and discovered the Dares Thread in 2004, I was OMG! This place is for me! This is so perfect! Look at all the insane things I can use to make my psychotic nightmare even more psychotic! As a result of the Dare Thread herds of pink penguins randomly run by for no reason, flocks of flesh eating hummingbirds from hell peck characters' eyes out, a blue box shows up from time to time and gets stolen by demons, everyone wants free shrimp dinners but no one ever gets them, a swimming pool was once filled with green jello and one of my villains swears it makes his skin more youthful, it has become dangerous to eat chocolate pudding as it has now been discovered it is actually alive and talks to you if you stop eating it long enough to listen, and I guy name Woon who shows up just long enough to die (again and again and again in almost every chapter) and yet no one notices. The Dare Thread might not work for some people, but when you write madcap surreal satire that makes little sense and has almost no point other than to be pure entertainment, yeah the Dare Thread is the best thing to ever happen to my series and it's the main reason I come back to NaNoWriMo year after year!
Than in 2005 somebody invented The Traveling Shovel of Death and I just ran with it, set one of my characters lose smashing brains out with a demon possessed shovel and now TSoD is a mainstay in the series. I actually had an emperor put a ban on weapons in his kingdom (guns, swords, knives, gone!) and people took to using spades as their primary weapons. Serial killers love their shovels! And shovels get to do double duty: kill, than bury.
Than I found Maine's Rancid Yak Butter dare in 2007 and knew I had to use it as a weapon against vampires (it tastes like garlic and thus has the same effect as garlic! I've had characters battling vampires with nothing more than a slice of bread spread with rancid yak butter! LOL!)
And thanks to the Maine writing groups, I've had lobsters battling moose and bear; and the lobsters always win, of course! ;)
The whole thing is written as a series of short story varying from 750 to 73,000 words, most of them falling in the 13,000 word range.
I write new stories for it all year long, and come NaNo I usually write no fewer than 5 new stories for the series (including to have written 3 actual novels to go in the series! Yay! I'm not a novel writer, I'm a short story writer, so it's a big deal that out of 18 OLL wins I actually ended up with 3 actual novels!
I also write random "stand alone" stories that are in no way related to the series, but are still in the same sci-fi/horror/romance/gorn/erotica/satire mish-mash blend.
Okay...so maybe not so quick. Oh well.
Short answer would have been: I write a long running series (pulp serial) started in 1978 and spanning 200+ stories (most about 13,000 words). It has 75 main characters (used 1 per story of course). The series is Gorn (Splatter Punk Horror or blood, blood, blood, and hey look is that even more blood?) and Grindhouse Erotica (sex, sex, sex, sex, and hey was there supposed to be a plot in between all the sex and murder going on here?)...but that doesn't really fill you in on how utterly insane this series is.
Okay, now to answer your question:
How do I decide which story to write next? Easy. Usually the answer that question is: Let's see, which guy(character - villain) would I want to have sex with tonight?
Followed by, Which murder weapon, which room, and who should kill who today? (Often asked while rolling dice on a Clue board game to see which room the dice land in.)
So, basically I pick the main character from a cast of already established characters, pick a room (the whole series is set inside a haunted manor house with 500 rooms), pick a murder weapon (from a huge list of torture implements used during the Spanish Inquisition), create a totally new (female) character to be kidnapped/raped/murdered, and then start writing (no plot) to see what I can come up with using these characters/rooms/weapons.
Also as a D&D Dungeon Master I have tons of maps and dice roll charts, and I use those to decide what to toss into the story as I go along. In other words on the roll of a dice, my story might sudden have a brain sucking squid, a herd of kobolds, or a ring of doom show up for no reason at all, and then I'll be: How in the heck am I going to use that?
But when it comes to actual ideas, plotlines, I just use them all. I write them down as I think of them and just go with them.
I suppose the short answer is, I just write whatever pops into my head that is fun to write. I love the series. I love the characters. I love the house. I love writing it, because it's absolutely fun to write. I'm one of those writers who has fun with my writing and if I find myself writing something that isn't fun to write, than I stop writing it and move on to writing something that is fun to write.
Another option is to write all your ideas on a slips of paper, put them in a box, shake the box and pick one at random. If you think: "Oh but I'd rather do the other one" then that is the plot you should use. LOL! I actually do this. The one I pick first always results in "Well Shit! I wanted to write the other one...." than suddenly I know which one I wanted to write! Works every time.
The year of my highest word count (2008 @ 238,000 words) I was writing 5 novels at once, one of which I finished a few months later and it went on to be published. That was of course that last time I attempted a novel. I'm a short story writer by nature, as it turns out I'm not that good at novels. I write great 10k to 15k stories, but try to stretch them into novels and they are mostly just monotonous fluff. So for my NaNos since than, I aim at writing 5 or more 10k stories, and hang out on the rebels forum.
No, you have NOT reached the end of this article! What you have reached is the end of what it currently online. The rest is coming, hopefully it'll be on here in a day or three so keep checking back. I will remove this message at the same time I put the rest of it online.
As my long time readers will already
know a server crash took down most of the old free-hosted site on June
4, 2013 (which was online since 1997 and had reached 6,000+ pages).
Thankfully everything was saved on a separate hard-drive and the site is
being rebuilt with a new host and for the first time on it's own
I am currently
moving all 6,000 questions&answer articles to this site one page at a
time, at a rate of about 4 to 7 new pages being added each day, so be
patient. Not all links are yet clickable. This process started on
September 2, 2013 and will be ongoing at least through to January 2014.
(And it may be well into 2017 before all 6,000 pages will be back online
if I continue at this rate of 5 a day.)
UPDATE: November 2015: The page you are on now, was written in 2007 and updated every November until 2014 - It was last updated October 31, 2014 and there are no future updates planned for it, as after 10 years of doing it, I have retired from "traditional" NaNoWriMo and am now doing a different writing goal each November.
For the current NaNoWriMo 2015 update see THIS PAGE (which includes the first public release of my Dares Generator and information on how I use it to reach 50,000 words in 3 days instead of 30 days, along with info on how I reached 537,000 words in 2013 and thus changed my writing goals for NaNoWriMo.)
UPDATE: October 31, 2014 -
Due to a major hacking of my online accounts, and the theft and plagiarism of some 1,371 of my how-to articles for writers, I am now removing from public access MOST of my How To Guides for writers. They will return at a future date, but henceforth they will not be available for free. I'm tired of shit-head thieves stealing my work and passing it off as theirs. I'm sorry, to those of you who were not creeps and trolls, I know it's not fair to you, but, the hacking was done by a local person did a lot more damage than you know - the vandalism to my house and cars and the murders of my pets and death threats to my family, are not something I take lightly.
Until we can get to the bottom of this and get this jackass stalker out of my life, I am simply not able to leave my articles online, due to the court case that is now brewing over this. I am also leaving NaNoWriMo, because the local NaNoWriMo ML Kendra Silvermander is the cousin of the man doing the harassment, stalking, vandalism (which included blowing up my house with a grease fryer bomb) and has been not only stealing my how to guides and posting them on the NaNoWriMo forums as her own, but also shows up at local restaurants to threaten me and my family while we are trying to eat. I am utterly disgusted that NaNoWriMo allows a filthy, thieving, vandalizing, scum bag like this to continue to year after year, inciting anti-EelKat riot threads on the NaNoWriMo forum, while continuing to allow her to steal my articles off my web site and post them to NaNoWriMo's website as hers.
This article you are reading now, is one of the few, I have not taken down, it is however drastically shorted. My mega long 20,000 word how to articles are ALL removed now, with only and the ones that remain are stripped of most of the info, with only the barest minimum required to answer the reader question - in many cases the articles are 90% shorter then when they originally appeared, most now under 2,000 words instead of their 20,000 word originals.
Complete Index of EelKat's Guide to NaNoWriMo (Including The ORIGINAL 13 Steps To Writing Method)
MANY of these pages are changed to private viewing only now, and or have had most or all of the original content removed - see note above for reason why.
Bullies should never force you to suffer in silence. If someone has hurt you, let others know.
Looking For more to read? This site has 6,000+ pages, but as of March 2017 only about 800 of them are linked to the index. Clicking the links in the NavaBar below, in the side bar, or at the top of the page will get you to most of the pages that are currently accessible via the index.
Looking for the Quaraun books? The original Unicorn Porn #Yaoi short stories are no longer available, but are currently being compiled in chronological order and republished as novels. The new Kindle novel editions can be found here: http://tinyurl.com/Quaraun
Interviews about the Quaraun series:
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Hugs and kisses to my wonderful fans. Love you all! Talk to you again soon.
If it ain't on this list, it's probably fake.
Throughout 2013 - 2015 a slew of FAKE "EelKat" accounts surfaced, both on social networks and on forums, most were created by a woman calling herself Kendra Silvermander, or her backhoe driving cousin who drove a backhoe over my house, the same woman and her family who cut the heads off my cats, are the same people who hacked my online accounts, created a slew of fake accounts and pretended to be me, after they beat me up on November 14, 2013, leaving me paralyzed for 5 months, relearning to walk for 18 months, and clueless to their impersonation of my online due to my life threatening crippled state that had me offline from November 2013 to March 2016.
Who they are and why they are doing this remains unknown. If you know the identity of these people, please contact the FBI in charge of the investigation into their murder attempts on my life:
Agent Andy Drewer
of the Portland FBI
NOTE: I was very active on forums from 1997 to 2007 and have RARELY used a forum since then. Other then the Warriors Forum and Absolute Write I have not posted on ANY forums AT ALL since 2012.
Note: My old inactive forum accounts were hacked and "resurrected" in 2013/2014/2015 by a psychotic NaNoWriMo ML who is upset over my having won a total of 27 writing contests/challenges and published 130+ novels since 2004 and and apparently (according to her emails) she has yet to win or publish anything.
If you see "me" posting on a forum at any point after 2012, know that it is likely this mysterious, and still yet unidentified "Kendra Silvermander".
I'm just a harmless old lady who likes to dress like and Elf and paint everything pink and write stories about Elves having sex with Unicorns. For THAT, the residents of Old Orchard Beach, call me crazy, build a bomb, blow up my house, stand in my drive way and shoot at me, kidnap my cats, cut my cats' heads off, nail my cats' heads to my door, beat my 28 year old Shetland pony's head in, drive a back hoe over my house 3 times, filled my motorhome with feces 3 feet deep, I was paralyzed for 5 months because they trespassed up in here and beat me up, 3 years later I finally recover and start walking again and they beat me up again this time with a shopping cart rupturing 3 discs in my spine while screaming "kill or be killed remember Saco Shaw's!" and they cut my car in half. I'm sorry, WHO exactly is the crazy person here?
Yes, I wear pink ball gowns every day.
Yes I wear fake pointy ears and long white Rapunzel wigs.
Yes, I paint my cars, my motorhome, and my mailbox pink.
Yes, I write about Elves having sex with Unicorns.
So the fucking hell what?
I haven't set foot off my land in 40 years. The only time I have contact with people is when THEY trespass on my yard and invade my privacy. And you know what? I've always welcomed them with happy smiles and open arms, made them meals and served them tea, and spent the day happily chatting with any one and every one who wanted to visit me. I love it when you people stop by to visit me as it's the only time I have any one to talk to other then my cats... oh wait... I don't have ANYONE to talk to any more, now that sociopath freaks murdered them and nailed their heads to my door!
You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the ones who built a bomb and blew up my house!
You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the violent trespassers who stands in my drive way and shoot at me.
You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the ones who kidnap my cats, cut my cats' heads off, nail my cats' heads to my door, beat my 28 year old Shetland pony's head in, drive a back hoe over my house 3 times, filled my motorhome with feces 3 feet deep, and cut my car in half.
I mean REALLY stand back and look around.
All I'm doing is wearing strange cloths. I'm not the violent animal abusing, bomb building, psychopath beating up elderly women... THEY are.
There's a hell of a big difference between a half blind elderly woman dressing up as comic book characters and not bothering one damned person, and violent psychopathic criminal creeps beating her up, bombing her house, driving a back hoe over 3 more of her houses, cutting her car in half, filling her motorhome with feces, murdering her horse, and slaughtering her cats!
Old Orchard Beach has a crazy person in it all right, but isn't me... and the residents of this town need to get off their asses and tell the FBI who this white haired man and his blond wife and red haired sister-in-law are BEFORE THEY KILL ME! The red haired woman calls herself Kendra Silvermander.
I don't know who this man and his two women are. They are strangers to me. I don't know their names. And I don't know why they are doing this. Some body in this town must know who these people are ... PLEASE... the FBI is trying to put a stop to these insane hate crimes... PLEASE if you know who these psychopathic monsters are, PLEASE tell Agent Andy Drewer before they kill me. They cut my car in half in 2010. They cut my cats in half in 2015. How long do you think it'll be before they cut ME in half too? PLEASE HELP ME!
➽ ➽ ➽ If you have any information regarding the identity of the stalker/attacker/driver of the 4-door white pick-up truck please contact Officer Tim DeLuca of the Old Orchard Beach Police Department @ 207-934-4911 and/or
Agent Andy Drewer
of the Portland FBI
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Please help the police and FBI put this brutal, violent, psychotically deranged stalker family in prison.
Have Information? Call FBI Agent Andy Drewer @ (207) 774-9322
Rather then ask the crazy gun-toting neighbours, and risk get shot by the psychotically deranged, white power gay haters that live up and down my street, patrolling obsessively by my driveway every 15 minutes in a 4 door white pick-up truck, just get directions from Google Maps. Here, you can find 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, ME right here:
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