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The Adventures of
Quaraun The Insane
Volume 5:
The Vampire Leprechaun
of Fire Mountain


By EelKat Wendy C Allen

Second Edition Cover:

Book Available Now

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(The Journey Begins)  (The Obsidian Idol of The Elf Eater of Pepper Valley)

About the Story:

The Vampire Leprechaun of Fire Mountain: Autistic, transvestite Moon Elf necromancer Quaraun and his friends Unicorn, BeaLuna, and Bullgaar change course for Fire Mountain only to get lost in a Faerie forest haunted by an undead FarDarrig.

LONG SUMMARY: BeaLuna, Bullgaar, and Unicorn have all been teasing Quaraun, pretty much about everything, from the way he dresses to his countless phobias to his ill health and especially for his being too stupid to live.

Quaraun is the last surviving Moon Elf. The only survivor of a Lich attack that wiped out the entire population of Moon Elves, save Quaraun, the smallest, weakest, stupidest, most sickly Moon Elf of them all. In a brutal world where survival of the fittest rules, Quaraun should not have survived, and yet here he is. There is no logical reason why he is still alive and his three companions do not let him forget it.

Not one of his friends sees anything wrong, mean, or hurtful in what they are saying and think they are making good jokes.   Quaraun says nothing and allows them to push him around, but inside he's seething and plotting to kill them.

While the emotionless Elf takes the bullying for months on end, he's not happy with the things his friends are saying to and about him and it slowly eats away at his mind, until one day the emotionless Elf starts acting uncharacteristically emotional. In a fit of rage, Quaraun declares they are heading to Fire Mountain.

For months Quaraun has talked of going to Fire Mountain, but his friends joked at that as well, for no one goes to Fire Mountain. Fire Mountain is a volcano, sitting in the heart of Pepper Valley. The infamous Lich Lord who killed the Moon Elves, built his palace in the caves underneath the mountain, and for centuries no one has dared set foot in Pepper Valley, least of all to go to the home of the Elf Eater: Fire Mountain.

Quaraun's companions think he is joking until he packs up and makes the long trek towards Pepper Valley, in the Realm of Fae. But to get to Fire Mountain they have to go through a Faerie Forest rumoured to be haunted by the ghost of FarDarrig the Vampire Leprechaun, servant of the Elf Eater.


This is a 48,541 word novel (about 151 printed pages) Bizarro Fantasy novel, set in a quasi-Medieval world of Elves and Faeries. Though each story can be read on their own, The Vampire Leprechaun of Fire Mountain is Volume 5 of a 130 part continuing serial.


*(There are no sex scene in this story, but sex is talked about by the characters.)

First Edition Cover:

Information From The Copyright Page and Introduction Pages:

Text copyright EelKat Wendy C. Allen 1997 – 2015

The Twighlight Manor Universe, EelKat, and all related characters and elements are copyrighted to The Twighlight Manor Press & Wendy C. Allen. All rights reserved.

Published by The Twighlight Manor Press

Volume 5 of a continuing 130 part serial is a short Novel 48,541  words long.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or stored in any retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission of the publisher and author.

THE VAMPIRE LEPRECHAUN OF FIRE MOUNTAIN: Autistic transvestite Moon Elf necromancer Quaraun and his friends Unicorn, BeaLuna, and Bullgaar change course for Fire Mountain only to get lost in a Faerie forest haunted by an undead FarDarrig.

TYPE: Long Novella/Short Novel

WORD COUNT:  48,541  words

PAGE COUNT:  151 printed paperback pages

POINT OF VIEW: third person limited; Quaraun’s point of view

HAPPY EVER AFTER? hmmm...no, continuing serial

CLIFFHANGER ENDING: Yes. This volumes ends with a sort of “To Be Continued...” 

CONTINUING SERIAL? Yes; this is volume 5 of 130

MATURE CONTENT? Yes; language and drug use

INTERRACIAL COUPLES? Yes; a white skinned cross-dressing male Elf and his black skinned male Phooka lover.

GENRE: Bizarro

SUB-GENRE: Literary Sword & Sorcery Dark Wizard Questing Fantasy

LITERARY FICTION WARNING: This entire series is Slice of Life Vignette Literary Fiction, meaning there’s a lot of dialogue, a lot of talking, a lot of thinking, a lot of monologue, and a lot of emotional introspective, but not much action going on in this heavily character driven series. Each story is a narrow focused look at a single event (often a single day or hour) in Quaraun's life.

SERIES UNIVERSE: This is a Twighlight Manor Spin-off series which exists in the same alternate Earth dimension of The Twighlight Manor Universe, set in a pre-Medieval time before the Flamites or Chrystonites invaded the Earth, when Faeries, Elves, Gnomes, and Dwarves still ruled the land and Humans were not yet the ruling race. Though this is a pre-Twighlight Manor setting (The Forest of No Return is in fact the same forest as The Twighlight Forest – the real forest if you ever wanted to visit it, is The Ross Forest in Old Orchard Beach, Maine, where I live-, where the Flamites eventually build the Manor, in what will one day become known as Old Orchard Beach, Maine, America. The North Lands Quaraun comes from are somewhere north of what is now Quebec, Canada) it is every bit as surreal and bizarro as the rest of Twighlight Manor Universe books are. 

ABOUT THE SERIES: Quaraun was a peaceful autistic Moon Elf content with his life of making magic items for fellow wizards. Quaraun fast gained a reputation for building the most powerful magical artifacts the world had ever known. One day 13 Necromancers, disguised as traveling mages, came to him requesting 13 genie bottles to capture 13 powerful Di'Jin. Unknown to Quaraun, their true purpose was to find an innocent powerful enough to create 13 completely invincible phylacteries.

Upon reaching Lichdom, the 13 Necromancers now known as The Lich Lords, set out to destroy anyone who could identify and destroy their phylacteries. To cover their tracks they annihilated the entire Moon Elf race, but they one mistake: they left before checking to make sure everyone was dead. For two hundred years The Lich Lords ruled the Earth believing there was no one who could stop them....

Until one day rumours arose of a survivor, a solitary Moon Elf driven mad by grief and centuries of solitude, now turned to Necromancy, motivated by the desire to stop at nothing to avenge his people and right the wrong he did by building the 13 phylacteries of The Lich Lords... And so began THE ADVENTURES OF QUARAUN THE INSANE.

PRONUNCIATION GUIDE:

Quaraun: Quay-Rownn A name I made up, for one of my player characters while playing RPG games. Pronounced like in Quaking Quaker, in an Earthquake rescued by a RoNin in a row-boat made of Rowan wood. Merrily they sail away as the quaking Quaker sings Row, Row, Row your boat. Quaraun = Quay-Rownn. Quaraun is a cross-dressing albino Elf.

Phooka: Foo-KA, Like phooey foo-fighters and kakapo birds. A Phooka, pronounced with a soft “f” and spelt with a “ph” is an evil blood thirsty type of Faerie, not to be confused with Pooka (poo-ka – pronounced with a hard “P” like Winnie the Pooh Bear and spelt with no “h”) also not to be confused with invisible rabbits named Harvey. This is not a race I invented or created. Phookas are a little known but powerful shape shifter race and among the most feared of all races of Welsh and Scottish Fae, said to be feared even by RedCaps.

Thullid: th-ooo-LID, like you was thinking of thick goo on a lid. th-ooo-LID. Thullid. A race I created specifically for this series. A Lovecraftian creature, similar to a humanoid version of Cthulhu; basically a pink or purple skinned squid/octopus headed humanoid alien type thing, with lots and lots and lots of tentacles wriggling all over the place.

How This Series and Its Characters Began:

The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane, is a Wizard Questing Sword & Sorcery Yaoi Bizarro Fantasy written in Slice of Life Literary format. Each volume of this 130 part serial is 20k to 35k words long (about 100 pages each). Episodes will be released monthly from September 2014 to December 2023, with the full story spanning over 4 million words (about 14,000 pages). This series is based off the Chaotic Neutral Transvestite Necromancer Moon Elf I played in Dungeons & Dragon's Temple of Elemental Evil, Ravenloft, and Forgotten Realms campaigns, and I currently act him out in full costumed CosPlay in a SpellJammer campaign. The stories in this series are based off the transcripts of these long running RPG game sessions.

Some of Quaraun’s quirks were not written into the character, but rather came about due to my own health issues, namely that I have Autism (thus the lack of normal emotional responses, the slow thinking and not being quick to pick up on the obvious) and that I have abnormally low blood pressure (90/60 to 70/60) which results in constant fainting spells. Since the player (me) had constant fainting spells disrupting the game sessions, it became a running gag with the game group, for the other players’ characters to go out of their way to try to make my character faint. All this has been written into the series, just as we played it out in the game sessions.

Unicorn, an Illusionist Faerie Trickster, is another character I played in these game sessions, and he too, picks up on real health issues I have, namely that he is nearly blind. The way the world is described through his eyes, is exactly how I see the world in real life: foggy grey, with bright splashes of colors.

Other characters seen throughout this series (BeaLuna, ZooLock, and Captain Quirk) are all characters I have played in various game sessions, and as with Quaraun and Unicorn, physical handicaps and disabilities they are portrayed with, are actual handicaps and disabilities I have in real life, and are portrayed in the same manner at which I live with these issues.

The Master/slave BDSM relationship between Unicorn and Quaraun, is likewise a reflection of my own personal relationship with my partner. The two of us have been together 28 years. He is white, I am not, he is 30 years older then me. I am a drag queen/transvestite who wears sequins, furs, eye blinding neon pink ball gowns, and drive a rhinestoned Volvo, decked out in 2.5million marbles, beads, and rhinestones. (Pictures of the car can be seen here.)

In short, everything from Quaraun’s outlandish outfits to his personal relationships to his life constantly being disrupted by his ill health and mental disabilities, is all accurately portrayed based off my own life as a drag queen suffering from these same physical and mental handicaps.

I got tired of reading Fantasy books that do not accurately portray people like me: a physically handicapped, Autistic, transvestite, drag queen, who is the slave of a Master/slave BDSM Dec/May interracial relationship. And thus I created a character based off my own life, health, and relationship, in order that Fantasy may have a diverse representation of someone like myself. The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane, is the end result.

This Bizarro serial is overall rated M-18 for strong language, explicit yaoi sex, drug use, suicidal characters, and other fantasy adult situations.

Not all stories in the series contain M-rated material, many stories are only T-16.

This series was rated using the FanFiction.Net rating system, as it was originally published there between 1997 and 2011 – this is the non-fan fiction rewrite of the older fan fiction series. 

CONTENT WARNING: The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane series was rated using the FanFiction. Net rating system, as it was originally published there in hundreds of 5,000 word chapters between 1997 and 2011 – this is the non-fan fiction rewrite of the older fan fiction series. 

The Rating Chart is as follows:

E-Rated: Suitable for everyone, but usually geared for ages under 8

PG-Rated: May contain topics (such as death, divorce, or mild swearing) disturbing to sensitive children. Parents may wish to read before letting children read it.

T-Rated: Contains topics not advised for readers under the age of 12, which may include mild language, tobacco use, alcohol use, LGBT characters in non-sexual situations, and mild fantasy violence

T-16 Rated: Contains topics not advised for readers under the age of 16, which may include mild references to sex, drugs, suicide, LGBT themes, and violence

M-18 Rated: Contains topics not advised for readers under the age of 18, which may include strong references to sex, drugs, suicide, LGBT themes, and violence.

MA-21 Rated: Explicit Erotica, for mature adults only.

The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane Bizarro serial is overall Rated M-18 for strong language, explicit yaoi sex, BDSM, knotting, barbs, tentacles,  drug use, cutting, suicide, thoughts of suicide, attempted suicide, norms bullying autistic characters, victims of bullying and abuse taking revenge on/torturing and murdering their attackers, and transsexual, inter-racial, December/May, male/male relationships. Not all of these things appear in all stories in the series. Not all stories in the series contain M-rated material, many stories are only T-16. 

This series is NOT rated MA-21 because it is NOT Erotica. (Some volumes however, do contain erotic content.) There seems to be some confusion here, because of the M-18 Rating, some readers are falsely assuming that this is Erotica. Readers have asked if this was an Erotica series. No, this series is not Erotica. It is Literary Bizarro Fantasy. It is ONLY rated the much lower rating of M-18 it is NOT rated at the much higher rating of MA-21.

ADDITIONAL CONTENT WARNING: All of the characters in this book are Scottish Gypsies. The main character (Quaraun) has Autism. Two of the primary characters (Quaraun and Unicorn) are both suicidal.  The author of this series is a Scottish Gypsy with Autism. The Quaraun series is written from an Autistic Gypsy's point of view of the world. If you have issues with Gypsies, Autistic characters, or suicidal characters, you probably do not want to read this series. Many of my fans, followers, and readers were unaware that I was a Gypsy until the publication of this series. The publication of the series has resulted in a series of both online and offline protest. I am now adding this warning to the front of each book in this series so readers can know ahead of time to avoid this series if they hate Gypsies. If you are unaware of what happened, this series went live September 2014 and on October 2014 THIS HAPPENED IN RESPONSE.

NON-AMERICAN & NON-UK ENGLISH WARNING:  This series has not been translated into American English or UK English!  It is written in the author’s native language of Scottish Gypsy English.

SPECIAL NOTE: FarDarrig is a Scottish Gypsy, same race, culture, and ethnicity as the author of this book. His dialogue is not written in American English, nor UK English, but rather in Scottish Gypsy English, which is quite a bit different from what most people are used to reading. When you are reading his spoken words, you are reading the native language, normally spoken and written by the author of this book, exactly as it looks before being edited for publication for American and British readers. His words were left unedited, and are what this entire book looked like before being edited into American English. Because Scottish Gypsies do not speak or write in a standard form of English, each of EelKat’s books takes several extra weeks to edit. 

(FarDarrig has major speaking roles in this volume.)

SERIAL WARNING! This is an open ended pulp fiction serial, meaning it is planned to run for a period of 130 or more volumes, like a television soap opera, it has no planned ending in sight. While each story is a fully complete beginning/middle/ending story and can be read on it's own, know that they do contain a continuation, that is best learned through reading them in order. There are currently 130 volumes outlined for this mega serial, with more being added. It is projected to have 1 to 2 monthly releases for a period of at least 5 years, starting in September 2014, making this my second longest running serial after The Twighlight Manor Series, which is now in its 36th year as of September 23, 2014 (volume #1 was published September 23, 1978, and it's still going, with no end in sight!) This is a spin-off “prequel series” of The Twighlight Manor series.

COSPLAY INFORMATION: If you are interested in making the costumes for the characters, I am a fashion designer and all of the character costumes I make for conventions, were made using the official Quaraun the Insane CosPlay Fabrics, see here.

I hope you will enjoy reading these stories as much as I have enjoyed writing them for you.

~Many hugs & kisses From EelKat





Where to find more info about the series:

Answers to reader questions about the series can be found HERE.

A cover art gallery with links to each volumes own page (more pages like this one) and be found HERE.

Character profile pages (coming soon).

Official CosPlay Fabrics For This Book:

As many of you know, I am a CosPlayer, costume maker, and fabric designer. (With a degree in Fashion Design) I make every outfit described in my books, and as such, I also make the unique fabrics so that I can make said costumes.

Before Quaraun and Unicorn were characters in these books, they were player characters I played in Dungeons and Dragons, Pathfinder, Ravenloft, and Spelljammer games, and I ALWAYS attend game sessions in costume.

Quaraun:

Quaraun is an albino Moon Elf. His skin and hair are both opaline powder white. 

This is the fabric mentioned in most volumes. The bubblegum pink medallion Gypsy Cloth, which the story describes Quaraun using to make his dresses. The costume can be make with this fabric as is, but to be accurate to the book, one would embroider large (about 8 inches acrossed) dark magenta hearts over the medallions printed on this cloth and then with silver seed beads, bead-embroider the white cross-cross and medallion outlines printed on the cloth.

In this volume, there are several references to the fact that Quaraun has begun to wear lighter shades of pink, to irritate Unicorn. Unicorn being nearly blind, judges where Quaraun is by following the bright pink color of his dresses.  Unicorn begins falling behind the others because Quaraun has changed to wearing shades of pink that Unicorn can not see.

His pale pink dresses are made of those fabrics:

Unicorn:

Unicorn is a Solitary Trickster Faerie, specifically a Phooka (aka a Boggle). He pretends to be a Unicorn to lure people in so he can skewer them on his horn, bathe in their blood and then eat their flesh. He is a member of the Elf Eater Clan, so named for their verocious  habit of slaughtering Elves and feasting on their flesh.

Unicorn is in his "black Welsh Human" form in this book. Being a shapeshifter, no one knows what his true form is as he can look like any person of any race.  His long dreadlocks are his real hair and not a shifted form. He's quiet proud of his wild dreadlocks and retains them regardless of what form he's in. Even in his unicorn/horse form, the horse's mane and tail are dread locked.

Unicorn usually wears black Japanese kimono with dragons embroidered onto the cloth. 

Unicorn is a Gypsy and his kimono is made of traditional Gypsy Medallion Cloth:

Most of Unicorn's outfit is made of fur. It is made out of the skins of 60 various dead animals, patched together. Because it is difficult to describe what his coat looks like, I'll just post a picture of the actual coat I wear for this costume:

As you can see, I am wearing the Unicorn coat over one of my pink Quaraun dresses in these pictures. I'm wearing one of the pale pastel pink dresses in the first picture and one of the darker rose pink dresses in the second picture.

And yes, there is the rhinstoned car in all it's 2.5million marble glory.

The Unicorn coat is a very simple one size fits all pattern. It is made out of 2 squares of heavy (very think, tight weave, sturdy) silk, 36" by 36".

I did not make the original, which you see me wearing. It is an antique of unknown age, believed to have been made in the mid to late 1800s, about 1880.  It was originally part of a very elaborate opera costume used by a Michigan theatre from the late 1800s until the 1940s, as "The cloak of a viking warrior wizard in the Ring of Nebula" (Der Ring des Nibelungen  or The Ring of the Nibelung by Richard Wagner ) the opera which ends with the fat lady singing.)

The theatre closed in the 1940s and the coat was put into storage until the grand daughter of the theatre's owner inherited the remains of the theatre's sets, and sold the costumes to pay off funeral bills. It was at this point that I acquired the coat.

Skins/furs on the coat include: monkey, rabbit (multiple rabbits, multiple colors), fox (several in: grey, red, brown, honey, and black, including tails), wolverine, mink, ermine, beaver, wolf, coyote, opossum, and some unknow furs which may be alpaca, bear, and squirrel. The hood, is made out of a beaver for the back, and large fluffy "trim" around the face opening, it made out of a coyote tail on one side and a wolf tail on the other side, with patches on an unknown fur, believed to be that of a long haired monkey.

The coat was made, by sewing the two squares of silk together leaving a 16" opening at the middle, to put it on over your head like a poncho. Next the entire thing was covered with whole animal skins in a crazy-quilt fashion, with no rhyme nor reason to where on the coat they were places. The fur was allowed to hang off the edges, giving the coat a very uneven wild feral mountain man look to it.

The Unicorn Coat is my favorite article of clothing I own and I wear it every day, all winter long. It is warm enough, that I can wear nothing but this coat over my silk dresses, even during Blizzard Juno of January 2015, when temperatures reached -45F. The thick layers of very long shaggy  fur (many with hairs over 6 inches long) trap my body heat into the coat, leaving it a nearly consistent 60F to 70F inside the coat, no matter what the temperature is outside. This coat is how I survived being homeless and living under a tarp for 8 long years, in an area known for it's sub-zero arctic winters that last 8 months of the year. If you are going to live in a cold region like this, you MUST have a coat like this, just as a matter of survival.

When designing Unicorn for the Quaraun series, I designed his coat based off of this one. The difference is Unicorn's coat is darker colored, mostly black, and is much longer, flowing down to his ankles.

FarDarrig:

FarDarrig is a Vampire Leprechaun. A little old man 4'9" tall, with long curly white hair. (Yes, for those who know the reference: this IS an incarnation of Etiole, the FarDarrig deity of the Scottish Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach.) 

Both King of the Gypsies and a deity of Gypsy religion, FarDarrig is the "most traditional" Gypsy in the entire series. He lives in a red Vardo (a painted horse drawn covered wagon) and dresses entirely in red (as is the tradition of the Scottish Gypsies of this time period).

FarDarrig carries a machete at his side and wears a leather coat sized for a large Human. the coat drags on the ground several feet, like a wedding dress train, and the sleeves hang down over his hands so he is continually needing to pull them up. The coat is made out of the face skins of the many Humans he has eaten.

He wears very old fashioned waistcoat, knee breeches, and frock coat, all made of traditional red medallion Gypsy cloth:

BeaLuna:

BeaLuna is a Flower Gnome, specifically an Orchid Gnome. She has green skin and pink hair, but has the ability to change the color of her skin, hair, eyes, and cloths, in order to blend in with her surroundings.

Her outfits are usually made out of this cloth:

Bullgaar:

Bullgaar is a Dwarf, and his physical features and outfits are never described, as he is only a very minor character, who plays no major role in the series. The only description there ever is on him, is the fact that he has many small braids in his beard.


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Life In Old Orchard Beach



On Writing The Quaraun Series



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The Quaraun Series On Amazon:

I am wondering why has Amazon moved the Quaraun books to the category "Transgender Romance" and also "Gay Erotica"? The base story is a deeply depressed, suicidal, drug addict Elf who's lover commit suicide and he's trying not to do the same. It's an old Elf in a tavern, monologuing a lot of flashbacks and back story scenes of his youth. These stories are dark, bloody, angsty, full of drug use, murder, rape, Medieval torture, mental/physical/emotional abuse, and references to depression and suicide - no romance in it, unless you count the occasional (and usually brutally violent) rape scenes that show up in nearly every volume - sorry - no clue what Amazon is thinking or why they moved these to Romance and Erotica, but these books are NOT even close to being Romance or Erotica on any level at all. When I published these books I put them in "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi". If they show up in any category other then "Dark Fantasy" and "Yaoi", it's because Amazon put them there without my authorization or approval.

~EelKat


The Autism Awareness Articles



Think you know what it's like to live with Autism?

You might be surprised how little you really know.

A look at REAL Autism and the myth spread by those with a self-diagnosis.





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