SpaceDock 13 is now EelKat.com

EelKat Wendy Christine Allen
Author, Artist, & Art Car Designer
 

How to say my name?

Eel + Cat = EelKat












Selfie:
When did the X-Rated porn word get a new meaning?

/ /


By EelKat Wendy C Allen

So I was driving home today and the DJ announces a new song released. The song title: Selfie by a group called The Chainsmokers. never heard of the band or the song before, but I was stunned that the DJ was even allowed to say the song title on the air. I was further stunned by the song itself, which is basically this same very vulgar sex industry swear word said over and over and over and over, by a girl who apparently is fucking herself off in a public bathroom. However, judging from the rest of the lyrics, it appears that perhaps she is using the word selfie to mean something other than masturbation, but what in the heck that could be, I had no clue.

Well, I was so stunned and baffled and confused by this song that I went home, turned on the computer, headed to YouTube and looked to see if I could find this bizarre song and figure out what in the heck they were talking about.

I did and here is the song in question:

)

As I said, the song is odd, and judging from the rest of the lyrics selfie must have a new meaning, but watching the video didn't help me out any. It's as I thought it was, a girl in the bathroom fucking off, and posting pictures of it to her friends with her cell phone...or rather judging by the video, 2 girls in the bathroom fucking themselves off and posting pictures of themselves doing so.

Well, this only left me more confused, because in between the girls bragging they are giving themselves selfies in a public bathroom, you have kids in concerts posting photos of themselves all over the place. Makes absolutly no sense at all.

I watched the video again and looked up the lyrics and still it appeared that the singer is using the word selfie to mean something other than masturbation, but what exactly, I had no clue.

That same day a friend stops by and says "Hey did you hear about the Ellen Twitter selfie?"

I'm like "What in the heck are you talking about?"

"Ellen put a selfie on Twitter and it went viral."

"Who the heck is Ellen and what's a selfie?"

"Ellen Degenerate."

"Who?"

"Don't you watch TV?"

"I don't own a TV, you know that."

"Oh, yeah, right. She's a talk show host. She put her selfie on Twitter last night and it went viral."

"So she fucks herself in public, and didn't get arrested for it. So what?"

"What are you talking about?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about selfies."

"So am I."

"Do you know what a selfie is?"

"Of course I do. I'm a freaking smutt author. I write hard core porn, erotica, and high heat romance."

"What?"

"Okay, I'm 40 years older than you, obviously what selfie meant 40 years ago is not what it means today, so why don't you just tell me what you are talking about. What the heck is a selfie?"

"Don't you ever take pictures of yourself with your phone?"

"No, actually, I have Autism, I don't own a phone because I don't talk verbally through my mouth, and therefore have no way to use a phone. And what? How the heck do you take pictures with a phone? Now what are you talking about?"

He pulls out phone. "See it's a camera, you use it to take pictures."

"Why would anyone want to do that?"

"Because it's easier than carrying a camera and everyone already has a phone."

"I don't have a phone."

"Yeah, well, every one else on the planet does."

"No, actually, did you know that over 1/3 of America doesn't even have access to phone service and that 4/5 of the state of Maine doesn't have access to phone service...there are still close to 100 townships in Maine that are not only outside the range of cell phone towers, but also land-line phones AND internet access. Did you know Bangor, one of Maine's largest cities is still without a cell phone tower close enough to it for people there to get a signal. Damn, do you know Old Orchard Beach was still on a switch board party line - 3 phone numbers for THE ENTIRE TOWN in the mid-1980s. And outside of America only 1/8 of the population has electricity let alone phone service. I'm sorry, what planet do you live on that you think EVERYBODY has a phone. Everybody in your house/school/city, is not even close to being every body on the planet."

Well, he finally explains that a selfie is when you take a picture of yourself with your cell phone and post it on FaceBook...and that EVERYBODY is doing it.

Hmmm... my FB account is maxed out at 5,000 friends, I'm on there all day, every day, and only once in a blue moon do any of them post photos of themselves. Damn. I must have the wrong FB friends if EVERYBODY is doing it and a majority of my 5,000 friends are not doing it.

All I can figure is it must be an age gap thing. All us cane-tottering seniors are too un-hip to be taking photos of ourselves and too unhip to slap a porn word on the photo to make ourselves sound cool. Or maybe we just prefer selfies over selfies.


This article was originally written on: March 10, 2014

This page last updated on:

Ads by Google




Looking To Connect With the REAL EelKat?

❤️ ❣️ ☮

Below is a list of the ACTUAL, REAL, OFFICIAL online accounts owned and managed by me:

on Amazon:  ► http://www.amazon.com/author/eelkat

on FaceBook - Profile:  ► http://www.facebook.com/EelKat

on FaceBook - Fan Page:  ► https://www.facebook.com/EelKatWendyCAllen

on FaceBook - Writer's Group:  ► https://www.facebook.com/ShortStoryWriters

on Google+:  ► https://plus.google.com/+EelKat/posts/p/pub

's Home Page:  ► http://www.EelKat.com

on Instagram:  ► https://www.instagram.com/eelkat

on Itch.io:  ► https://eelkat.itch.io

on MySpace:  ► https://www.MySpace.com/eelkat

on Pinterest:  ► https://www.pinterest.com/eelkat

on Spoonflower:  ► http://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/eelkat

on Steam:  ► http://steamcommunity.com/id/eelkat

on Tumblr: ► http://eelkat.tumblr.com

on Twitter:   ► https://twitter.com/EelKat

on YouTube - Subscribe Today! ► https://www.youtube.com/user/EelKat

on Zazzle:  ► http://www.zazzle.com/eelkat

❤️ ❣️ ☮

Looking for the Quaraun books? The original Unicorn Porn #Yaoi short stories are no longer available, but are currently being compiled in chronological order and republished as novels. The new Kindle novel editions can be found here:   http://tinyurl.com/Quaraun 

Interviews about the Quaraun series: 

❤️ ❣️ ☮

Hugs and kisses to my wonderful fans. Love you all! Talk to you again soon.  

If it ain't on this list, it's probably fake.

~EK 

Throughout 2013 - 2015 a slew of FAKE "EelKat" accounts surfaced, both on social networks and on forums.

NOTE: I was very active on forums from 1997 to 2007 and have RARELY used a forum since then. Other then the Warriors Forum and Absolute Write I have not posted on ANY forums AT ALL since 2012.

Note: My old inactive forum accounts were hacked and "resurrected" in 2013/2014/2015 by a psychotic NaNoWriMo ML who is upset over my having won a total of 27 writing contests/challenges and published 130+ novels since 2004 and and apparently (according to her emails) she has yet to win or publish anything.

If you see "me" posting on a forum at any point after 2012, know that it is likely this mysterious, and still yet unidentified "Kendra Silvermander".

More information about Kendra Silvermander and what she did can be found here.

➽ ➽ ➽ If you have any information regarding the identity of the stalker/attacker/driver of the 4-door white pick-up truck please contact Officer Tim DeLuca of the Old Orchard Beach Police Department @ 207-934-4911 and/or Agent Andy Drewer of the Portland FBI @ 207-774-9322 ◀️ ◀️ ◀️ ☎️

Please help the police and FBI put this brutal, violent, psychotically deranged stalker in prison.

Need Directions?

Rather then ask the crazy gun-toting neighbours, and risk get shot by the psychotically deranged, white power gay haters that live up and down my street, patrolling obsessively by my driveway every 15 minutes in a 4 door white pick-up truck, just get directions from Google Maps. Here, you can find 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, ME right here:


Need Another Video To Watch?


I upload brand new videos to YouTube almost daily. Be sure to subscribe to my channel, then click the "bell button" to receive notifications of the latest releases.















And, in case you missed the notice at the top and felt the need to make a fool of yourself in my inbox, here's the notice again, longer this time.

We Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, are Scottish & this site therefore uses our Native Scottish English. We are no Americans, so please do no expect to find American English here.

For example spellings like "travelling" or "colour", pronoun differences "me" for "my" or "you" for "your" might look unfamiliar to you. They are in fact correct in our language. 

Yes, I do receive you many emails pointing out what you believe to be typos and spelling errors. No, I do no respond to your American arrogance in thinking nothing other then the American language exists or your ignorance to the existence of languages other then you own. You do have a brain; I highly recommend you try using it. You might find you actually enjoy it.

I does no ask of you to speak to me in me own language, so do no ask of me to speak to you in yous language, for just as you does no know me language existed, I do no know how to use you language, though, I did have enough brain to know it existed and not berate you for using you own native tongue. I can'na say as much for thems that thought to bitch at me in emails.