If life gives you lemons, then you grab life by the balls and say you're taking them too. Why make lemonade when you can make testicle stew? Stand up for yourself. I don't take shit from no one, and neither should you. ~EelKat
I have received some questions from readers about the series, and will answer those here.
QUESTION: In what order should the books be read?
ANSWER: Well, that's a tough nut to crack. The series span all of Quaraun's life, from his childhood to his old age. It starts when he's 330. Yet in volume 3 he is only a teenager. Swamp of Death takes place twenty years after Screaming Unicorn and is volume 8, however, many of the stories in volumes 20 to 30 take place before volumes 5 to 8.
The story is NOT written in continuing order. Each story can be read on it's own without any of the others. If you was to read the series, straight through, Volume 1 to volume 130, you'd be driven as insane as Quaraun. There is no rhyme nor reason to the order of the books and I've never tried to sit down and figure out what order they would go in time-line wise.
The books are numbers 1 to 130, in the order I wrote them, which is not the order they were published – Volume 1 was published first, followed by 6, and then 19. The stories were originally published online between 1997 to 2011 as a "Lord Sesshomaru, Batman, Drizzt, Star Trek, Care Bears, Rainbow Brite, Uncle Scrooge, Darkwing Duck, Smurfs, Lovecraft, Poe, and many others, fan fiction". It was taken offline in 2012, in preparation to be re-written as a non-fan-fiction. I spent most of 2012 and 2013, going back into this mega huge series and making a list of every single copyrighted character/place/etc. and then had to create an original character alter ego to replace them. I next had to rewrite everything, basically restarting the series from ground zero to completely remove all references to anything that even hints of copyrighted characters.
After creating all new characters, I next had to take each story, reduce it to a skeleton outline, and completely rewrite it. This is a massive project, because the series was so fricking huge. When I took it offline in 2012, I had planned to just rewrite it quick and republish it days later. I seriously miscalculated the amount of time and effort it would take to rewrite this thing. In the end, it would not see it's first non-fan-fiction publication until September 2014.
While the stories jump back and forth, with Quaraun being old in this volume and young in the next, thus meaning you can read them in any order you want to, if you want to read them in the order of which I wrote them, then just read starting at Volume 1 and go in number order til you reach the end. Here is a chart to show you them in order. (This chart only shows released and soon to be released volumes, and will be added to, on a monthly basis, until all 130 volumes are published.):
The cover art of ALL 300+ volumes of the series have already been commissioned and mostly finished. More then a dozen artists have made art for this project. You can see all of the covers displayed on THIS PAGE(as they become available).
The New Series vs The Old series
QUESTION: How is the new series different from the one that originally appeared on fanfiction.net?
ANSWER: Lots of changes have been made.
The original series had been called "The Bride of Sesshomaru", and was a spoof of multiple fandoms including: InuYasha, Legend of Drizzt, Star Trek, Batman, and dozens of 1980s Saturday morning cartoons. The storyline was inspired by Ravenloft and Spelljammer games.
In the original fanfic, Lord Sesshomaru was the main character. However it was a spoof of the original character.
In the original comic book, by Rumiko Takahashi, Sesshomaru is an arrogant, pompous, crossdressing aristocrat; a demon lord shapeshifter who has gone off to wander the world out of vengeance against his father and brother. He is an extremely minor character of the InuYasha manga and is noted for his roaming the countryside wearing a women's wedding kimono, a huge fur boa, and having long hair that reaches to his knees and is the focus of his attention when he is not slicing and dicing people up with his sword. While he hates Humans and is said to eat them, he rescues one who becomes his companion and eventual turns his quest to focus all his attention on her. He has in his possession a magic sword that can raise the dead. When the girl dies he resurrects her and in his carelessness, she gets killed a second time at which point he learns the sword only works once per person. The lose of his beloved companion devastates him and he throws away his most prized possession (the sword) which had previously been the focus of his very existence. as a result of Rin's death, Sesshomaru has a change of heart and is no longer a villain in the series, but insteads joined forces with his brother InuYasha, against their common enemy Naraku. Rin is resurrected again and the gang defeats Naraku, but in an unexpected twist that shocks Inu fans around the world, the Humans of the series banded together and took Rin away from sesshomaru, leaving the demon lord devastated and living the rest of his life in the forest on the outskirts of the human village that she was sent to live in.
That is one of the many, many, many minor sub-plots woven into the InuYasha story.
The fanfiction I wrote, was based off that story line, but combined Sesshomaru with Drizzt (from a different book series) and then spoofed him, making his wardrobe even more over the top then it originally was, turning his hair into and obsession that was way more then an obsession, and removing the character of Rin and replacing her with an adult homebrew character named Dawa. A magor change was made to Sesshomaru's personality. In the original he's overbearing in his never backing down from a fight and can almost be a bully at times. I reversed this in the fanfic, instead making him a coward who, while at first threatening, is quick to drop his sword and run rather then fight. (Like I said, it was a spoof, so it made fun of the original character quite a bit.)
The Quaraun series is NOT the original fanfiction story which appeared on fanfiction.net, but rather a completely NEW story, BASED off the fanfiction I wrote.
The Quaraun series retains some things from the original fanfiction: notably his mega long white hair that he can't stop fussing over long enough to get anything down, and he's a major coward. He's feared by everyone and yet he faints at the sight of blood and runs at the first hint of trouble. He is still incredibly arrogant, vain, pompous, and short tempered. And he's still a feather boa wearing transvestite.
Beyond that however, not much of the original fanfiction moved on to the Quaraun series.
Of course the original was fanfiction, so it had popular pop culture characters in it, while the new series is not fanfiction and has had all pop culture characters removed.
The fanfiction has been divided into two separate rewrites: The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane and Hymal Kaydar.
The Hymal Kaydar series follows the original fanfic storyline more closely and includes the character Dawa, however, Hymal Kaydar (the character based of the fanfic version of Sesshomaru), other then having long white hair and being a demon, retains none of the personality.
The Quaraun series, turns the main character from a demon to and Elf instead and from an aristocratic warrior into an aristocratic wizard. Instead of wearing wedding kimono, Quaraun wears the garb of "a high class prostitute" and his wardrobe is entirely pink.
New to the Quaraun series is the character Unicorn, who is based off of Blackbird from my Twighlight Manor series.
One of the biggest changes readers would notice is in the original, the primary couple I wrote about was heterosexual/straight/ a male&female couple. While is the Quaraun series the primary couple is male & male. Neither character however is gay. Both Quaraun and Unicorn are bi-sexual and both have other partners both male and female, throughout the series. Quaraun has a wife and children and a male lover, all of whom die. Unicorn is his second male lover, he later has a second female lover and later a third female lover who becomes his second wife. Quaraun fathers 8 children over the course of the series. Quaraun however remains with Unicorn the entire time and considers himself to be Unicorn's wife. MOST of the series focuses on the one male/male relationship between Quaraun and Unicorn, which did lead a few readers to assume the series was "Gay Romance" and then got upset when they discovered Quaraun has a wife. No. Quaraun is not gay, he's bi-sexual.
Also the original fanfiction series was a series of very short 5k long short stories, each only about 10 pages long, while the Quaraun series is a series of 50k+ long NOVELS each about 120 to 170 pages long.
I have taken each of the original 5k shorts and used them as a "jumping off point" to write each novel from. So the original short stories are being used as writing prompts for the new, longer novels.
The Quaraun series is toned down quite a bit as well. The original fanfiction, had more raunchy sex, more sex period, more violence, more action, and moved at a faster pace. The fanfiction was based off a fairly fast moving comic book. The Quaraun series on the other hand, is written in a style which I prefer to write more, known as Literary Slice of Life.
The Literary Slice of Life genre, is a very slow moving genre that is nearly devoid of action and moves along at a leisurely saunter. The Quaraun series has very little action in it and is largely dialogue based. It has more of a lazy paced sitcom feel to it, rather then a big screen action pace.
ANSWER TO THE #1 MOST ASKED QUESTION ABOUT THE QUARAUN SERIES:
Is It Erotica?
Yes, some volumes (only a few) contain what could be described as "erotic scenes", but the majority of the books in this series contain absolutely no sex scenes at all.
The language of the series is however very crude and overly sexual (on a very South Park and Austin Powers level of crudness andsexual verbosity.)
QUESTION: I saw another author post some pretty nasty stuff about you and this series. What is that all about?
ANSWER: There are a few (rather snobby and elitist) authors who are against books featuring gay characters, Gypsy characters, and/or mentally disabled characters, and they have started a boycott of me and the Quaraun series. I wrote a detailed response about what happened, why it happened, and how I have responded to this boycott HERE.
It will take you about 4 hours to read that. If you don't have time for the full length long version, there is a shorter version HERE. (Scroll about halfway down the page to find it.)
QUESTION: How old is Quaraun?
ANSWER: In the story "BoomFuzzy", Quaraun is about 75 years old at the time he meets BoomFuzzy. In Elven years, that makes him the equivalent of about 15 or 17 years old if he had been a Human. Quaraun is still considered by the other Elves to be only a child at the time he bound his soul to BoomFuzzy. Quaraun and BoomFuzzy were together for "30 odd years" before BoomFuzzy commits suicide. Quaraun was about 105 years old at the time of BoomFuzzy's death. In Human years that would have made him about 18 to 20 years old.
When the series starts, in The Night of The Screaming Unicorn, Quaraun is estimated to be between 300 and 400 years old. In The Journey Begins, when BeaLuna meet Unicorn (about 6 months after Quaraun meet him in Screaming Unicorn) and realizes that Quaraun is no longer a virgin, she rains her fury down on Unicorn, accusing him of completely disrupting their mission to kill the Lich Lords because the spell could only be broken by a wizard who had remained a virgin. At which point she says Quaraun wasted 330 years of his life avoiding sex, just to come this close to killing the Lich Lords and at the last minute succumb to a Faerie's glimmer spell that cost him both his virginity and his mission.
In the later stories at the end of the series, featuring his adopted teenaged Human daughter Pippiyata, Quaraun is having difficulty getting around, now crippled and walking with a staff. In one of these stories Pippiyata asks him "Are you old?" To which he answers: "An Elf lives 600 years. I've lived a hundred and fifty years passed that."
The series from beginning to end, spans his entire life, ending with Quaraun dying at around 750 years old.
QUESTION: What year does it take place?
ANSWER: The exact year is unknown and never mentioned. There are multiple reasons for this.
#1 being that the series is told from Quaraun's point of view. Quaraun has Autism and is thus unable to do math or numbers, and if you pay attention, you will notice that he changes numbers often. For example, he will say he is 300 years old, but then he will also say in the same conversation, that he has been hunting the Lich Lords for 300 years, and then say that his wife died only 200 years ago. It is a false stereotype that Autistics are good at math.
#2 being that most of the story is about Quaraun's attempt to deal with Unicorn and his alter ego BoomFuzzy, who commits suicide, leaving Quaraun to blame himself for his lover's death. Unicorn is a Scottish/Welsh Gypsy. He comes from a culture that does not use math, numbers, clocks, or calendars.
#3 being that I wrote the series. I have Autism. If you was to ask me about math stuff, I have no idea how old I am, I can not read a clock to tell the time, I don't know how to use calendars. or dates, I don’t know today's date without asking someone else, I do not know times tables, I can do some simple addition. I am a Scottish Gypsy. I come from a culture that does not use math, numbers, clocks, or calendars.
The story spans a time period of about 500 years. It also is set in the same setting as The Twighlight Manor series, with Unicorn's Forest of No Return, being the same haunted forest, which will eventually become known as the Twighlight Forest and be the location where the Flamties build The Twighlight Manor. Construction started in the 1300's, but the building was destroyed in 1313 and was not rebuilt until the late 1400s/early 1500s. Roderic would take over as Lord of the Manor in 1573.
What this means is that the Quaraun series takes place prior to the 1500s. However, the pirate ship Rent-A-Prize is the type of ship that would have been seen in the 1700s and, in City of the Screaming Statues, Quaraun is gunned down by Humans. There is some anachronism going on here with objects not in their proper years.
Whenever BatDude, PigeonPoop Boy, and The Jiggler appear in a story, you know that Quaraun and Unicorn have either stepped out of their time period, or the daring trio have been zapped out of theirs. BatDude, PigeonPoop Boy, and The Jiggler are characters from a set of short stories I wrote in the 1990s and they were set in the 1990s, meaning that Quaraun and Unicorn, randomly have contact with 20th century characters as well.
The same time tunnel portals found in The Twighlight Manor Series, are also found in the Quaraun series, and, while time travel is not specifically mentioned in the Quaraun series, there is a strong indication, that the flying pirate ship Rent-A-Prize is in fact a time machine of sorts. As such, Quaraun and Unicorn, end up party to events spanning from Ancient Rome all the way to the mid 1800’s without realizing that they have changed time periods. Quaraun and Unicorn, assume they are always in their proper time.
For the most part, it is assumed that the setting is in about the 1300s to 1500s, with some random events pulling them into past or future times.
If you try to wrap your mind around the time span of the series, you'll drive yourself batty. It's Bizarro, it's not meant to follow any standards or norms.
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Looking For more to read? This site has 6,000+ pages, but as of March 2017 only about 800 of them are linked to the index. Clicking the links in the NavaBar below, in the side bar, or at the top of the page will get you to most of the pages that are currently accessible via the index.
Looking for the Quaraun books? The original Unicorn Porn #Yaoi short stories are no longer available, but are currently being compiled in chronological order and republished as novels. The new Kindle novel editions can be found here: http://tinyurl.com/Quaraun
Interviews about the Quaraun series:
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Hugs and kisses to my wonderful fans. Love you all! Talk to you again soon.
If it ain't on this list, it's probably fake.
Throughout 2013 - 2015 a slew of FAKE "EelKat" accounts surfaced, both on social networks and on forums, most were created by a woman calling herself Kendra Silvermander, or her backhoe driving cousin who drove a backhoe over my house, the same woman and her family who cut the heads off my cats, are the same people who hacked my online accounts, created a slew of fake accounts and pretended to be me, after they beat me up on November 14, 2013, leaving me paralyzed for 5 months, relearning to walk for 18 months, and clueless to their impersonation of my online due to my life threatening crippled state that had me offline from November 2013 to March 2016.
Who they are and why they are doing this remains unknown. If you know the identity of these people, please contact the FBI in charge of the investigation into their murder attempts on my life:
Agent Andy Drewer
of the Portland FBI
NOTE: I was very active on forums from 1997 to 2007 and have RARELY used a forum since then. Other then the Warriors Forum and Absolute Write I have not posted on ANY forums AT ALL since 2012.
Note: My old inactive forum accounts were hacked and "resurrected" in 2013/2014/2015 by a psychotic NaNoWriMo ML who is upset over my having won a total of 27 writing contests/challenges and published 130+ novels since 2004 and and apparently (according to her emails) she has yet to win or publish anything.
If you see "me" posting on a forum at any point after 2012, know that it is likely this mysterious, and still yet unidentified "Kendra Silvermander".
I'm just a harmless old lady who likes to dress like and Elf and paint everything pink and write stories about Elves having sex with Unicorns. For THAT, the residents of Old Orchard Beach, call me crazy, build a bomb, blow up my house, stand in my drive way and shoot at me, kidnap my cats, cut my cats' heads off, nail my cats' heads to my door, beat my 28 year old Shetland pony's head in, drive a back hoe over my house 3 times, filled my motorhome with feces 3 feet deep, I was paralyzed for 5 months because they trespassed up in here and beat me up, 3 years later I finally recover and start walking again and they beat me up again this time with a shopping cart rupturing 3 discs in my spine while screaming "kill or be killed remember Saco Shaw's!" and they cut my car in half. I'm sorry, WHO exactly is the crazy person here?
Yes, I wear pink ball gowns every day.
Yes I wear fake pointy ears and long white Rapunzel wigs.
Yes, I paint my cars, my motorhome, and my mailbox pink.
Yes, I write about Elves having sex with Unicorns.
So the fucking hell what?
I haven't set foot off my land in 40 years. The only time I have contact with people is when THEY trespass on my yard and invade my privacy. And you know what? I've always welcomed them with happy smiles and open arms, made them meals and served them tea, and spent the day happily chatting with any one and every one who wanted to visit me. I love it when you people stop by to visit me as it's the only time I have any one to talk to other then my cats... oh wait... I don't have ANYONE to talk to any more, now that sociopath freaks murdered them and nailed their heads to my door!
You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the ones who built a bomb and blew up my house!
You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the violent trespassers who stands in my drive way and shoot at me.
You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the ones who kidnap my cats, cut my cats' heads off, nail my cats' heads to my door, beat my 28 year old Shetland pony's head in, drive a back hoe over my house 3 times, filled my motorhome with feces 3 feet deep, and cut my car in half.
I mean REALLY stand back and look around.
All I'm doing is wearing strange cloths. I'm not the violent animal abusing, bomb building, psychopath beating up elderly women... THEY are.
There's a hell of a big difference between a half blind elderly woman dressing up as comic book characters and not bothering one damned person, and violent psychopathic criminal creeps beating her up, bombing her house, driving a back hoe over 3 more of her houses, cutting her car in half, filling her motorhome with feces, murdering her horse, and slaughtering her cats!
Old Orchard Beach has a crazy person in it all right, but isn't me... and the residents of this town need to get off their asses and tell the FBI who this white haired man and his blond wife and red haired sister-in-law are BEFORE THEY KILL ME! The red haired woman calls herself Kendra Silvermander.
I don't know who this man and his two women are. They are strangers to me. I don't know their names. And I don't know why they are doing this. Some body in this town must know who these people are ... PLEASE... the FBI is trying to put a stop to these insane hate crimes... PLEASE if you know who these psychopathic monsters are, PLEASE tell Agent Andy Drewer before they kill me. They cut my car in half in 2010. They cut my cats in half in 2015. How long do you think it'll be before they cut ME in half too? PLEASE HELP ME!
➽ ➽ ➽ If you have any information regarding the identity of the stalker/attacker/driver of the 4-door white pick-up truck please contact Officer Tim DeLuca of the Old Orchard Beach Police Department @ 207-934-4911 and/or
Agent Andy Drewer
of the Portland FBI
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Please help the police and FBI put this brutal, violent, psychotically deranged stalker family in prison.
Have Information? Call FBI Agent Andy Drewer @ (207) 774-9322
Rather then ask the crazy gun-toting neighbours, and risk get shot by the psychotically deranged, white power gay haters that live up and down my street, patrolling obsessively by my driveway every 15 minutes in a 4 door white pick-up truck, just get directions from Google Maps. Here, you can find 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, ME right here:
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