If life gives you lemons, then you grab life by the balls and say you're taking them too. Why make lemonade when you can make testicle stew? I don't take shit from no one, I stand up to bullies like you.
"Will you be writing a mental-illness-themed novel for NaNoWriMo again this year? I know you usually have a MC or another important character who suffers from a mental illness. How do you pick what mental illness to write about?
How do you choose what to write, is it either an aspect of the plot or an aspect of the character's inner conflict?
What inspired you to use a mentally ill person as your main character? What challenges do you expect you'll face? How do you make sure you get your character accurate or true to life when dealing with mental illnesses?
I am working on a novel that has a protagonist who suffers from a severe disorder (and a few comorbid secondary disorders), and a large part of the novel revolves around his struggles and attempts to recover. That project is my "baby" and I'm always interested in hearing from others who are undertaking similar stories!"
I write a long running series (30+ books since 1978) in which the main character has "an unidentified/undiagnosed" mental illness. This series is the only thing I write. I write it every NaNo since 2004 and I will write it this NaNo. At no point in the series does it ever say what is wrong with him, however, when readers ask me (and they often do)
"What's wrong with Roderic, anyways? Does he like have a real mental illness? Are there really people like him out there? You know with all the weird quirks and speech issues and stuff you always having him do?"
My answer to them is this:
Yes, Sir Roderic Lincandonia Swanzen, Lord of The Twighlight Manor, does in fact have a very real mental health issue, which real people suffer from. He has multiple issues actually:
He was born with Autism, that is why he is quiet and why he has trouble speaking and why he refuses to make eye contact and why he'll freak out over loud sounds, bright lights, or being touched. He grew up in a very traumatic, high stress, and abusive home life, which caused him to shut down and move inward into his own little world that existed only inside his head. When stressed out he "shuts down", sits on the floor, and starts drawing (on the floor, walls, his car, his clothes, his skin, whatever is there to draw on.)
Roderic, at the beginning of Friends Are Forever (Vol1 in The Twighlight Manor series), was more or less a normal person, shy, quiet, virginal youth, who wouldn’t hurt a fly and probably would have remained in this state his entire life had it not been for his father and two uncles, who should have been in prison, but they ran the empire so they weren't.
Roderic was born in the late 1500s, a majority of the series takes place between 1644 and 1673. Obviously he is never diagnosed in the series as Autistic or Special Needs or an other such modern term. The correct "Dark Age/Medieval/Renaissance" term for an Autistic person was "A Simpleton" or "the Village Idiot". Autistic children were thought of as "changelings", parents believed these children to be the offspring of Faeries and that the real baby had been stolen from the crib and this imposter left in it's place. As such Autistic child of this time period were often put in a flour sack that was tied shut and dropped in the river/lake/ocean to drown them and be rid of the "demonic beast". Catholic nuns, believing Autistic children to real humans, but demon possessed, opened institutions for simpletons and idiots as a way to take them off the parents hands and give them a chance at life. (These places were the forerunners of mental health asylums, which were the forerunners of hospitals). In many regions, government officials passed laws requiring all "idiots" to be rounded up and sent to these nun run places. The result was from the 1400s through the 1700s it was very rare to encounter an Autistic, Downs Syndrome, Schizophrenic, or any other Special Needs child or adult living at home, and most families were glad to be rid of them and pretend they were never born.
This is the time period Roderic was born into. The only reason he was not sent away to live in an institution for "simpletons and idiots", as would have been historically accurate for the time period, was because his mother died when he was born and his father could not bear to be parted from the only child of his beloved wife. Fortunately for Roderic, his father was the younger brother of the King, who in order to give Roderic something to do and keep him out from under foot, built a 500 room fortress like manor house (The Twighlight Manor) and gave it to "the idiot child". The manor was basically built as a child's play house, built on the theory that Roderic was a curious child always wandering off and getting lost, so let's give him a 500 room mansion with steel doors and iron bars on the windows, than he can explore to his heart's content and never get lost.
Unfortunately it must be remembered that Roderic's father is also the cannibalistic serial killer, Melaca, and while he does love his son, Melaca has little use for outward affection. Or that Vielder built a vast torture chamber in the lower levels of the Manor, which he and Melaca used to slaughter their human victims. Or worse that their other brother Dr Vangoneese, who was also Roderic's caretaker, took Roderic with him on his house calls where he often raped female patients and used those too sick to protest as guinea pigs for his medical experiments.
In short, young, shy, quiet Roderic grew up watching many bloodily horrific acts being carried out by his father and two uncles, and this did not go with out side effects.
In his teens Roderic began retreating more and more into the far reaches of the Manor as a way to avoid his father and uncles. Roderic's only companion was a cousin who was fast becoming obsessed with dissecting everything (and over time, everyone, living or dead). Terrified of everyone, Roderic began talking to the only things around him to talk to: the vast stone walls of the house, and it's carved wooden furniture. Over time Roderic began to claim they talked back to him.
By the time he was a young adult Roderic had developed Schizophrenia and lost the ability to know what was real and what was fantasy. He hears things that other people don’t hear. Sees things that other people don’t see. Because no one else sees or hears them, Roderic believes he is haunted by ghosts.
This belief that the things he sees and hears are real, is "proved" to him when one day he finds a wounded mermaid hiding in his bedroom. This event he passes off as any other that no one else can see, until he realizes unlike other things, everyone else does see her.
His father or uncle (they are twins and no one is quite sure which one did it) kidnaped and raped the mermaid, she escapes and thus how she inadvertently ends up hiding out in Roderic’s bedroom. At first he’s this nice sweet guy who takes care of her, originally he fully intends to take her back to the ocean and release once her wounds are healed. But as time goes by he becomes obsessed with her and keeps her longer than he should.
In eventually taking her back he is careless and, the father or uncle follows them bashed Roderic’s head in, rapes the girl again. The mermaid escapes the father or uncle again, and now tables turned she takes care of Roderic, but Roderic recovers a changed man violently wielding a shovel of death. Roderic who is crippled for months simply stops talking and starts brooding over the mermaid.
Remember where I just said Roderic hit his head (or rather was beaten up and hit in the head with a large rock, repeatedly, several times, and almost died), he suffered brain damage from this event and that's when the "more terrifying" hallucinations started haunting him, resulting in his retreating more and more often to his room, leaving the house less and less.
Roderic becomes stranger and stranger, doing and saying progressively more bizarre things after hitting his head. It is after this that we see several changes in Roderic including that he suddenly begins to believe himself a vampire and takes up the habit of drinking human blood, and than smashes every mirror and glass window pane in the Manor, except for the stained glass peacock window. In a strange twist of fate, one of his most trusted and beloved
companions was a shovel - a shovel Roderic claimed had a demon living in
it, a demon with a taste for human blood.
Through out much of the
series Roderic is seen carrying this blood thirsty shovel no matter
where he goes. Roderic is often found aimlessly wandering the halls of the Manor dragging the shovel, leaving a trail of blood behind him. When questions of the bloody shovel, he will tell a nightmarish story of it's lust for brains and his needs to keep the shovel with him to prevent it from killing again. In spite of the bloody shovel no evidence exists of Roderic having any connection to the many murders which also begin to take place through the Manor.
Obsessive, possessive, jealous,
vengeful, and now dangerously violent Roderic becomes the most feared
man in the known universe, takes over the planet, takes over all 3 of
the solar system in the Triple Empire and keeps the mermaid locked away
in his vast fortress-like mansion (The Twighlight Manor).
are happy more or less for a few years, she bears him 4 sons, than all
hell breaks loose on the night of the 4th son’s birth, when the mermaid
is raped by 3 different men, Roderic flips out, there’s a bloodbath in
just about every room of the 500 room Manor, the mermaid ends up dead
and no one knows who the heck killed who.
In the early stories, Roderic is tempered and kept sane by his bewitchingly beautiful mermaid wife.
When his wife was murdered (an event he witnessed, yet is unable to identify the murder, leading to the suspicion that he himself killed her) Roderic developed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) which triggered the anxiety attacks of his Autism and the paranoia/hallucinations of his Schizophrenia to grow worse.
When Roderic is unable to remember who killed his wife, and everyone starts pointing the finger at him, his paranoia spirals out of control with him believing everyone worked together to kill his wife and the house helped them.
Roderic has his wife stuffed, put on display and pretends she still alive, suddenly every room in the house becomes a taxidermist's worst nightmare as every servant is preserved forever at their stations, every human to enter the house from that day onward is skinned and stuffed their flesh served for dinner, and Roderic sits on a gold plated throne, in an oblivious stupor, clutching a bloody shovel for a septor, whenever anyone tells him “Sir, there's another body...”
His only response being “Yes, I know, she eats everyone who comes here. She’ll kill us all.”
Roderic believes the spirit of his dead wife to have possessed the house, and that the house has come to life to eat everyone and punish him for not letting her go back to the ocean.
From September 23, 1664 the day of his wife's death, until the current era (2013) and beyond (till it's 2525 END date at the death of Roderic), Roderic sits, terrified to move, terrified the house possessed by his dead wife will slaughter him the way it slaughters everyone else, if dares take his eyes off the preserved body of the dead mermaid.
That is the first volume in the series. Each of the 200 stories after it follows in the same vein: someone living in the Manor kidnaps and rapes girl, other men at the Manor join in gang rape. Roderic stands by oblivious to what is going on, speaking utter nonsense about his dead wife and his sentient house. Girl dies. No one cares. Girl gets raped again. Lots of people show up dead. Roderic accuses house of murder. More rape. More death. at one point Roderic adds a second wife, later a third. Remix and repeat.
Roderic’s favorite son (the baby born on it’s mother’s death) grows up a transvestite, opens a nightclub that is a front for a whore house. In comes a series of side stories that are sex, sex, sex, sex, and nothing else, no horror, no plot, not even Roderic or The Manor, just every day in the life of a male prostitute, who turned to prostitution as a way to block out the fact that his father was a psychic human eating murderer.
Jump ahead to the 20th century, Roderic is now pushing 500 years old, same old same old is going down inside The Twighlight Manor, in steps a team of human psychiatrists and White Rock Mental Health Institute for the Criminally Insane and a series of side stories, each one a different rapist/murder retelling and glorifying their conquests in graphic detail in interviews with the doctors - two of these patients are Roderic’s sons, another is his father. Through the stories told by them, we see the original Friends Are Forever story retold, from a vastly different perspective.
As his fears escalate Roderic collapses into an Agoraphobic state locking himself in his bedroom and not leaving (at times so scared that he even feared to let his feet touch the floor and refused to get off the bed) for several years.
In later years as an elderly man (1983 - 2525END), he required a servant to feed him, but then was terrorized that his servants were trying to poison him and refused to eat nearly starving himself to death at one point.
The series follows Roderic's life, as told through more than 200 short stories. Because we see the world of the series, through Roderic's eyes, the reader doesn't know if the house really is alive and eating people or if this horrendous nightmare Roderic lives through every day is all in his head. Does the furniture come alive and attack people? Are the people who live in the mansion with him really vampires, mermaids, phookas, and aliens? The reader has no way of knowing if the events of the story are hallucinations in a very real world or if this is a sci-fi series that takes place in an alternate earth where houses and furniture do come alive and eat people and vampires and mermaid walk among us. The stories never dispute the events and treat the flesh eating house as though it is a flesh eating house.
In short, Roderic, the main character of the Twighlight Manor series, has Autism, Schizophrenia, PTSD, and Agoraphobia
I have had many readers contact me asking:
"So is this really happening or is Roderic just crazy and none of it's real?"
I tell the readers:
"I leave that to the readers to decide. The readers do not know if it's real or not because Roderic does not himself know what is real and what is not real, and the not knowing is the thing that terrifies him most of all. If you think Roderic is insane and none of this is really happening to him, than you are correct. If you think this is some alternate world and these things are actually happening to him, than you are correct.
But from the perspective of the author: yes this is an alternate world, yes the races are what they say they are, no the house is not alive it never was. Yes Roderic's wife really was a mermaid, he did not imagine that, no his house and furniture are not hell bent on trying to kill him, that is a hallucination.
And the shovel? Well, let's just say that Roderic has never killed anyone, he wouldn't, he couldn't, he doesn't have it in him...The shovel really does have a curse on it."
And then there are readers who ask me:
"So, how do you research for Roderic? You must be a psychology major or something right? I know somebody with these mental illnesses and you are right on with a lot of the stuff Roderic does. People with Autism really do ____. People with Schizophrenia really do ______. I'm amazed you get this stuff so accurate. So are you like a psychologist or something? What do you write about your patients? ha ha!"
I'm not a psychologist. In fact I never went to school.
inspiration and research for Roderic? I was removed from school at age
8, I was told I would never be able to live on my own, get a job, drive a
car, attend college, or function as a meaningful member of society.
"What inspired you to use a mentally ill person as your main character?"
I write what I know.
I have both Autism and Schizophrenia; later hit my head and developed new issues from that; and then later was the witness to an event that left my 5 best friends in a pile of body parts, which resulted in my having PTSD. And I had Agoraphobia for nearly 10 years.
Speech is very difficult for me. My verbal words are desperately slurred and stuttered and go from either way too fast or way too slow. Most times I know what I want to say, but the words that come out of my mouth are mixed up and in the wrong order so sound like nonsense. Folks often consider me "dumb" due to my being near-mute and desperate lack of getting words out in the correct order. I write 7k words a day just as part of my daily non-verbal speech. That
is how I am able to pound out 15k a day during NaNoWriMo every year.
It is very frustrating when I want to talk to someone and they pat me on the head and say something like: "It's okay, here have a candy. Poor thing she can't understand us at all."
Roderic speaks in the same quasi-non-verbal muddled up speech I do. Roderic's dialouge is a blundered mes because my verbally spoken dialouge is an embarrassingly blundered mess.
Roderic is very shy and self conscious and terrified of how others will respond to his lack of ability to speak verbally in any real coherent manner, because I am very shy and self conscious and terrified of how others will respond to my lack of ability to speak verbally in any real coherent manner.
Roderic AND his flamboyant drag queen son, Etiole, wear long flowing, bright colored, gaudy, heavily beaded and embroidered silk robes, because wear long flowing, bright colored, gaudy, heavily beaded and embroidered silk robes.
Etiole drive a great big orange 1964 Dodge 330, because I drive a great big orange 1964 Dodge 330. Etiole was born September 23, 1664, because I bought my 1964 Dodge on September 23, 1975.
Are you starting to see a pattern here?
I write what I know.
"How do you pick what mental illness to write about?"
I write what I know. And I know Autism, Schizophrenia, PTSD, and Agoraphobia very well.
The world as the reader sees it through Roderic's eyes...that is the
world as seen through my eyes. Roderic is an accurate portrayal of
someone with Autism, Schizophrenia, PTSD, and Agoraphobia, because he is
written by someone with Autism, Schizophrenia, PTSD, and Agoraphobia. I
know how Roderic would react to things, because it is how I react to
The Dazzling Razzberry? Roderic's son's car in the book,
the one covered in quotes and beads and rhinestones? guess what, it's a
real car and I own it. It's my daily driver, and here's a picture of what a car with 2.5million beads, buttons, marbles, and rhinestones glued to it looks like.
nightmare world that Roderic lives in every story, is the nightmare
world I live in, every day. I don't do any research into anything to
write Roderic, I just write the world the way I see it.
I Love Roderic! A List of Every Page on this Site Where I Talk More About Roderic
It is no secret that Sir Roderic Lincandonia Swanzen, owner of The Twighlight Manor, is my favorite character, and you don't have to read very many blog posts, articles, site pages, etc to realize, I talk about him A LOT. While you see him mentioned in passing on just about every page on this site, there are some pages where I go into vast detail about his life. I am going to make a list of them all and tack it to the end of each of those pages, to make it easier for readers to find them all. And here they are:
It's a new website that was created April 1, 2017. Which on the surface appears to be a joke and appears to be funny. But a closer look reveals it to be a hate site, hating on gays and supporting KKK terrorist acts. Specifically - it's a propaganda site made in support of the Ku Klux Klan's anti-gay terrorist attacks that have been happening in Old Orchard Beach, Maine. Meaning it was made by somebody local and probably the person doing the hate crimes.
On the surface, Flamboyant Nipples website seems funny, if you don't know the murders, house bombs, death threats, animal abuse, vandalism, hate crimes, and domestic terrorist attacks they are referring to.
To any one outside of Maine it may look like harmless fun, but any one here in Old Orchard Beach who is Gypsy, Jewish, Muslim, Black, LGBTQA, or Native American, will tell you there's nothing funny about having a gun to your head. There's nothing funny about house bombs.
Did you know there have been 5 additional house bombs, that I have never mentioned? One blew up an apartment building and killed 6 people. I only talk about the one that blew up my house and the one that blew up my doctor's office. My Muslim doctor would tell you how not funny the Flamboyant Nipples website it, if he hadn't died in the bomb and was able to tell you.
Have I ever told you about the bomb at WalMart November 2015, put in MY department where I worked? Or the bomb in 2013, put in MY classroom at Southern Maine Community College 2013, a few weeks before I was beaten up and paralyzed?
Start interviewing the families of Old Orchard Beach.
Come here to our town and actually talk to the gay men who've been stripped naked by the Ku Klux Klan and hung by their balls from the tops of flagpoles. They'll tell you how not funny the Flamboyant Nipples website is.
Did you even actually READ the Quaraun books before you wrote Flamboyant Nipples? Do you even know what the hate crimes are you are supporting? Specifically BoomFuzzy, the one that features a horrific scene where Quaraun is attacked by gay haters from his town, stripped naked, tied to a horse, dragged through the streets, beaten, then hung by hi balls from a tree and left to bleed to death, hanging in the tree for 5 days.
Did you know THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED to a man right here in our town?
The Ku Klux Klan stripped him naked, tied him to the back bumper of a car, dragged through the streets from Old Orchard Beach to Biddeford Maine - a 14 mile drive, beat him, then hung him by his balls from the giant flag pole at Rotary Park and left to bleed to death, hanging in the tree for 5 days. They did it in the dead of winter when the park was closed to the public, so it was 5 days before any one found him. He almost froze to death and suffered brain damage from hang upside down so long, the blood putting too much pressure on his brain.
You want to know how old he was?
The gay man who was dragged naked through the streets, his feet tied to the back bumper of a car?
15 years old.
He was a fifteen year old boy.
A CHILD! Grown men did that to him. Men in their 30s, 40s, and 50s ganged up on a 15 year old boy and tortured him almost to death... because they SUSPECTED that he MIGHT be gay because he was wearing a pink suit to go to the prom.
They didn't have any proof he was gay. They just thought maybe he MIGHT be, because he was wearing pink.
They did that to a child!
That's what kind of monsters we have running the businesses of Old Orchard Beach!
Men who drag children 14 miles, naked, tied to the back of their car... for 14 damned miles!
And no one did one damned thing to stop them.
People in the town stood around and cheered them on as they tortured a 15 year old boy, because of the colour of his clothes.
Do you think that kind of torture is something FUNNY? Something to laugh at and make fun of?
And it happened more then once, to multiple men. Rotary Park had to take their flag pole down to try to prevent it happening again. Biggest flagpole in the state of Maine, used to be a tourist attraction, gone because of the horrific hate crimes against gay men in our town.
I include references to that event in EVERY single Quaraun novel to bring awareness to the horrific things gay haters do to gay men.
EVERY ONE of the violent acts against Quaraun in the novels is based off of a REAL LIFE event here in our town. EVERY ONE OF THEM.
It's why I keep saying the Quaraun series is NOT Erotica. It's not meant to be Erotic, it's meant to bring awareness to what type of hate crimes gay men around here have to put up with. The scenes in the Quaraun books are NOT meant to be taken as sexual fantasies, they are meant to show how horrific gay men around here are treated by their/our community.
The hate crimes against gay men, especially transgender men are horrific in this area and it needs to stop. The gay community around here is too scared to fight back, but I'm not, if no one else is going to do anything to protect them, I will, and THAT is why I write the Quaraun series.
The Quaraun series is about a gay man, a transvestite, who's life is absolutely destroyed by gay haters, after they tortured him and drove his lover to suicide. He becomes a wizard to resurrect his lover. The series follows them as they live on the run, going from one town to the next looking for someplace that will accept gay men. THAT is what the series is about. How everywhere they go, they get attacked and beaten and publicly humiliated because they dare to love each other.
Quaraun is based off actual real live transvestites, transsexuals, and gay men who live here in Maine and were interviewed by me, specifically with the goal of portraying their lifestyle and the hate crimes they live with as ACCURATELY as possible.
The original idea came from the suicide of my grandmother's best friend; a transvestite who owned the dollar store in the Saco Shaw's parking lot back in the 1980s. He was the first transvestite I ever knew, he was a close friend of the family for years, and one day he was gone. He commit suicide because he couldn't take the horrific gay hatred that was thrown in his face every day. He left behind a lover that went mad with grief and then shot himself.
THAT is where I got the idea for the Quaraun series. From the REAL LIFE suicide of a REAL transvestite who a friend of mine.
Start asking about the 500 cats and dogs that vanished from our town between 2014 and 2017 - 140 families have had their pets returned cut up in pieces. They'll tell you how not funny the Flamboyant Nipples website is.
You think it's just me these things are happening too? Open your damned eyes.
These things started happening to me in 2001. I started writing the Quaraun series in 1997, but locals didn't know about it, until 2001. The hate crimes against my family, started WHEN this town found out I was writing the Quaraun books. Gay hatred in this town is SO BAD, that they are willing to attack, beat up, cripple, a straight woman, bomb her house, kill her cats, fill her motorhome with feces... because she was the ONLY person in this damned town willing to speak out against the anti-gay hate crimes of Old Orchard Beach.
I'm not the FIRST one they did these things too... I'm just the first straight female they did them too, that's all.
I'm just the only one with enough balls to speak out against the Ku Klux Klan. That doesn't mean I'm the only one they've terrorized. It just means I'm fed up with living in terror and am saying enough is enough. I'm taking my life back and they aren't gonna push me around any more. And I'm gonna help the gay men of this town get their lives back too.
The gay haters of this town tried to kill me on November 14, 2013 because I wrote a book featuring a gay main character. I almost died and now I'm crippled for rest of my life.
Six months after the Quaraun books went from free to read online, to their first mass produced, mass market release (September 2, 2014), the gay haters of this town filled my motothome with feces and cut my cats heads off (April 10, 2015).
I am fed up with the viscous, violent, acts of terrorism that no one around here blinks an eye at, because it happens so often, multiple times a day, every single damned day to so many people!
Too many people in this town turn a blind eye to what is going on.
Too many people in this town are saying "I don't want to get involved, they'll come after me too, I have my own family to think about".
This has to end.
This level of terrorism is beyond insanity and some one needs to put and end to it.
I'm founder of the Proctor and Gamble Boycott, I shut down those animal test labs, it took me 27 damned years to do it, but I did it, and if I can do THAT, then I know I can shut down the gay hatred of this town too.
What is happening here is NOT RIGHT and NEED TO STOP!
And sites like Flamboyant Nipples, who take these hate crimes, and make fun of them, make it look like it's funny to torture gay men, are deplorable and disgusting!
The gay haters of this town like to run around bragging that Old Orchard Beach is a family friendly town, added to that phrase, that it is "family friendly because it doesn't allow gays"...
Old Orchard Beach is NOT a family friendly town until it is family friendly for ALL families even gay ones!
I challenge the motels, hotels, and business of Old Orchard Beach, to start putting up rainbow flags... EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM....
EVERY business.... no matter how small, no matter how far off a main road onto a side street you are...
Put up a rainbow flag on your business sign. Let the world know you support gay rights and welcome the gay community in Old Orchard Beach.
Because I'm going around this town and making a list of every single business in this town that is NOT gay friendly and I'm putting them on the Proctor & Gamble Boycott website, to notify all 30 million members of my P&G protest team, which businesses in Old Orchard Beach they need to start protesting.
Prove to the world, you're not a gay-hater.
Because the whole WORLD is about to start protesting this town.
These hate crimes need to stop. NO ONE should be forced to live in terror! The gay members of this community deserved to live here with open arms. Their families are families too!
I say let's make this town family friendly for ALL families!
SAY NO THE THE GAY HATERS OF OLD ORCHARD BEACH!
Those gay haters rely on the tourist income to survive: BOYCOTT every business in this town that REFUSES to hang a rainbow flag on their business signs. DO NOT give your hard earned money to the gay hating business owners of Old Orchard Beach!
SAY NO TO THE HATE CRIMES!
They want to call this town family friendly... well let's MAKE it family friendly then... for ALL families!
Not just the white ones!
Not just the straight ones!
Not just the Christians!
Make it family friendly for EVERY family!
Old Orchard Beach Residents Better Start Praying My Next Sign Doesn't Have a Pink Penis Painted On It, Because I'm Getting Sick And Tired Of Them Harassing Me,
And If It Takes A Ten Foot Painting Of A Penis Standing In The End Of My Driveway To Get Them To Leave Me Alone...
Then That's Gonna Be The Next Sign I'll Put Up.
Flamboyant Nipples: Ku Klux Klan Crosses, House Bombs, & Book Burnings:
An Author's Guide To Writing The Christian Worldview:
Flamboyant Nipples: A Lesson In How To Offend Your Readers As Much As Possible
Scenes from the novels, mentioned in the above video, can be read free online.
The scene containing the page of Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fucks, can be read HERE.
If you don't know what the genres Yaoi or Pink Humor are, you can find out HERE.
P.s> Inspired by the gay hatred of Flamboyant Nipples; I'm Painting A New Sign for my driveway ... It's a Picture of Black Tower... Enjoy!
Meet The Flamboyant Nipples and Their Fabulous Pink Penis... Coming Soon To A Driveway Near You:
Bullies should never force you to suffer in silence. If someone has hurt you, let others know.
Looking For more to read? This site has 6,000+ pages, but as of March 2017 only about 800 of them are linked to the index. Clicking the links in the NavaBar below, in the side bar, or at the top of the page will get you to most of the pages that are currently accessible via the index.
Looking for the Quaraun books? The original Unicorn Porn #Yaoi short stories are no longer available, but are currently being compiled in chronological order and republished as novels. The new Kindle novel editions can be found here: http://tinyurl.com/Quaraun
Interviews about the Quaraun series:
❤️ ❣️ ☮
Hugs and kisses to my wonderful fans. Love you all! Talk to you again soon.
If it ain't on this list, it's probably fake.
Throughout 2013 - 2015 a slew of FAKE "EelKat" accounts surfaced, both on social networks and on forums, most were created by a woman calling herself Kendra Silvermander, or her backhoe driving cousin who drove a backhoe over my house, the same woman and her family who cut the heads off my cats, are the same people who hacked my online accounts, created a slew of fake accounts and pretended to be me, after they beat me up on November 14, 2013, leaving me paralyzed for 5 months, relearning to walk for 18 months, and clueless to their impersonation of my online due to my life threatening crippled state that had me offline from November 2013 to March 2016.
Who they are and why they are doing this remains unknown. If you know the identity of these people, please contact the FBI in charge of the investigation into their murder attempts on my life:
Agent Andy Drewer
of the Portland FBI
NOTE: I was very active on forums from 1997 to 2007 and have RARELY used a forum since then. Other then the Warriors Forum and Absolute Write I have not posted on ANY forums AT ALL since 2012.
Note: My old inactive forum accounts were hacked and "resurrected" in 2013/2014/2015 by a psychotic NaNoWriMo ML who is upset over my having won a total of 27 writing contests/challenges and published 130+ novels since 2004 and and apparently (according to her emails) she has yet to win or publish anything.
If you see "me" posting on a forum at any point after 2012, know that it is likely this mysterious, and still yet unidentified "Kendra Silvermander".
I'm just a harmless old lady who likes to dress like and Elf and paint everything pink and write stories about Elves having sex with Unicorns. For THAT, the residents of Old Orchard Beach, call me crazy, build a bomb, blow up my house, stand in my drive way and shoot at me, kidnap my cats, cut my cats' heads off, nail my cats' heads to my door, beat my 28 year old Shetland pony's head in, drive a back hoe over my house 3 times, filled my motorhome with feces 3 feet deep, I was paralyzed for 5 months because they trespassed up in here and beat me up, 3 years later I finally recover and start walking again and they beat me up again this time with a shopping cart rupturing 3 discs in my spine while screaming "kill or be killed remember Saco Shaw's!" and they cut my car in half. I'm sorry, WHO exactly is the crazy person here?
Yes, I wear pink ball gowns every day.
Yes I wear fake pointy ears and long white Rapunzel wigs.
Yes, I paint my cars, my motorhome, and my mailbox pink.
Yes, I write about Elves having sex with Unicorns.
So the fucking hell what?
I haven't set foot off my land in 40 years. The only time I have contact with people is when THEY trespass on my yard and invade my privacy. And you know what? I've always welcomed them with happy smiles and open arms, made them meals and served them tea, and spent the day happily chatting with any one and every one who wanted to visit me. I love it when you people stop by to visit me as it's the only time I have any one to talk to other then my cats... oh wait... I don't have ANYONE to talk to any more, now that sociopath freaks murdered them and nailed their heads to my door!
You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the ones who built a bomb and blew up my house!
You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the violent trespassers who stands in my drive way and shoot at me.
You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the ones who kidnap my cats, cut my cats' heads off, nail my cats' heads to my door, beat my 28 year old Shetland pony's head in, drive a back hoe over my house 3 times, filled my motorhome with feces 3 feet deep, and cut my car in half.
I mean REALLY stand back and look around.
All I'm doing is wearing strange cloths. I'm not the violent animal abusing, bomb building, psychopath beating up elderly women... THEY are.
There's a hell of a big difference between a half blind elderly woman dressing up as comic book characters and not bothering one damned person, and violent psychopathic criminal creeps beating her up, bombing her house, driving a back hoe over 3 more of her houses, cutting her car in half, filling her motorhome with feces, murdering her horse, and slaughtering her cats!
On November 14, 2013 I was beaten up at Southern Maine Community College, paralyzed for 5 months, was relearning to walk and relearning to use my hand for 18 months. I was offline that entire time. I returned online March 2016, to find that a hacker had taken over nearly all of my online accounts, social network accounts, forum accounts, and even here, and had been posting online pretending to be me.
Know that between November 14, 2013 and March 31, 2016, that I was NOT ONLINE and all posts made between those dates were not made by me.
On July 28, 2016 the same group of people who beat me on November 14, 2013, arrived at my workplace and beat me up again, this time with a shopping cart while screaming "kill or be killed, remember Saco Shaw's all transsexuals are alike".
I was once again paralyzed, this time for 3 months, and this time suffering 3 ruptured discs in my spine.
Old Orchard Beach has a crazy person in it all right, but isn't me... and the residents of this town need to get off their asses and tell the FBI who this white haired man and his blond wife and red haired sister-in-law are BEFORE THEY KILL ME! The red haired woman calls herself Kendra Silvermander.
The white haired man drives a 4-door-white pick-up truck. The blond women drives a gold volvo suv and is often accompanied by a red haired woman who identifies herself as "Kendra Silvermander".
The red-haired woman wears lime green glasses and usually carries a tiny white poodle that she called "my dragon child", the poodle is sometimes dyed purple and sometimes wearing a purple dragon costume. This woman acts EXTREMELY child-like and appears to have a serious mental handicap. She often brags "I'm off my meds" while attacking me. She is EXTREMELY violent.
The 4-door white truck is some times driven by a bald man. I don't know if this is the same man as the white haired man or not. I think the white haired man and the bald man are both the same person and not 2 separate people. The white hair looks VERY fake, like a cheap Halloween wig. I've never seen his face (I'm legally blind in one eye and nearly so in the other). He appears to be a younger man in his 30's trying to disguise himself to look like an older man in his 60s. I am 5'6" and he is quite a bit bigger then me. Possibly over 6 feet. Very broad shouldered (like a football player).
The 2 women look much older. The blond woman is quite "weather beaten", bad completion, like someone who spends too much time in the sun for too many years. She appears to be in her 60s, possibly younger with premature wrinkles? Her stick straight (possibly salon straightened) shoulder leanth hair is a dirty blond, that she sometimes has dyes with very fake platinum blond stripes. (Her hair was striped like this the day she attacked with the shopping cart.)
The 2 women make a habit of following me to work. (I am a retail merchandiser and drive upto 100+ miles a day covering multiple stores). They have attacked me with shopping carts at:
Scarborough Walmart (multiple times)
Kendra alone without the blond woman or the man, has beaten me up, punching me in the head, hitting me in the face, while I was eating at the Panera Restaurant in Westbrook.
They have a few times been accompanied by a third woman, calling herself "Deana". A small chubby woman in her 20's with sandy brown hair. She calls herself "The NaNoWriMo ML of Saco". She once had her husband with her. He is a blind man, walks with a white cane. She shows up at restaurants and libraries while I'm eating, working, or studying. She always comes in and says "Kendra sent me"
The red-haired woman calling herself "Kendra Silvermander" has beaten me up 3 times now at the Westbrook Panera restaurant - in October and November 2010.
It was the man who beat me up in 2013 and his 2 women who beat me up in 2016. (The Deana woman has never been violent and doesn't appear to be involved in the attacks, appears to be just "a messenger". The last time I saw Deana, she said she would be no longer working for Kendra as she was expecting a baby and wanted to focus on her family. That was at the Golden Rooster Restaurant in Saco, in November 2009.)
These people attack viciously and violently EVERY single April/May and October/November of every year since 2001, during the two National Novel writing Month writing contests which Kendra Silvermander claims to be the head of (I know she is not, because Chris Baty and Heather Dudley, of San Francisco, California are the owners and heads of NaNoWriMo.) Kendra Silvermander also claims her father owns FunTown Amusement Park in Saco (I checked, and the owners of FunTown have never heard of her). Kendra also claims her aunt owns the little blue breakfast cafe beside Landre's Market at the corner of Cascade Road and Portland Ave in Old Orchard Beach. I checked - the owner is not related to anyone named Kendra, but does report having a niece named Deana.
This mysterious red head, appears to be the ring leader. Calls the white haired man her cousin and the blond woman her sister. The blond woman claims to be the white haired man's wife.
The white haired man refers to himself as "The Royal Family of Old Orchard Beach" and claims to have paid $6million for his house, claims to have "inherited millions" from his father, which he says gives him the right to run the town and give orders to the town hall. On July 15, 2015 he arrived in my driveway driving a giant landmover sized construction dump truck, green with a red apple painted on the side - the same red apple painted on the side of the backhoe that ran over my house August 8, 2013, bragging that the town hall took my cats on his orders. The dump truck was filled with black trash bags of garbage and appliances which he was attempting to dump in my yard... while he was there, because he was there, I parked my motorhome across the end of my driveway to keep him out, and he went into an infuriated meltdown, yelling that he keeps a gun for "shooting woodchucks" in his truck and would use it to "blow your brains out" if I refused to move the motorhome to let him into my yard with the haul of garbage he was trying to dump.
He drove up the logging road across the street from me, then came back out minutes later driving a 4-door white pick-up truck, screaming out the window that he was going to the town hall to order them to remove my motorhome so he could access my driveway to dump his garbage. THIS man... does not appear to be the same white haired man who beat me up. His hair is far more grey, natural looking, and he's a little guy, not much bigger then me, very skinny, probably only 5'9" or so. He appears however, to be the man, the bald haired man (who USUALLY drives the 4 door white truck) is trying to look like.
I've only seen the little, skinny older man twice: that day July 2015, and again September 12, 2015 when he returned with police officers DeLuca, Ladecaca, and Regan, and tried to make them remove my motorhome, claiming that it was "too gay for the family friendly town of Old Orchard Beach". The police just laughed at him and told him there was no laws against painting a motorhome pink, to which he responded to say, that he'd force the town hall to make a law banning gays and their cars from living in Old orchard Beach.
He claimed to work at the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall, calling himself the "zoning board of appeals" but when I asked at the Town Hall, they knew nothing of him and have no such thing as a "zoning board of appeals". He claims to own a motel and brags that it does not allow gays or non-whites inside, boasting that he and someone named "Dan Feeny" are passing laws to ban gays from Old Orchard Beach. There is someone named Dan Feeny at the town hall be he denied knowing anything of being part of making such laws.
The LITTLE skinny, and ACTUALLY old white-haired man, does not appear to be aware that the younger bald man is dressing up like him and using his trucks to attack me.
It appears the blond woman may ACTUALLY be the younger bald man's mother, not his wife as she claims.
The police reports of September 12, 2015 identified the LITTLE white haired old man from that day. However, I don't think he is the man who normally drives the 4-door white truck that keeps attacking. He's not much bigger then I am, and he looks very old, his hair is grey white, not snow white; and the man who attacks is MUCH bigger then me, both taller and more muscled, (definitely someone who works out and lifts weights) looks to be in his 30s, and is wearing a very bad, cheap Halloween wig to try to look like the little old man.
The identity of the bald man who wears a white wig and pretends to be the old man named on the September 12, 2015 police report, remains a mystery. Whoever this younger man is, he has access to the keys of the trucks which are owned by the older man.
The FBI is looking for the DRIVER of the trucks, not the OWNER. The owner is known. The DRIVER however, is a DIFFERENT man then the OWNER.
The police have also identified the older man as being the OWNER of the backhoe that drove over my house, however, he denies having driven it that day and claims it was stolen. Again, the FBI is seeking the DRIVER of the backhoe, not the OWNER.
The bald man is very clearly impersonating the old man, and appears to be taking orders from the blond woman, who in turn appears to be taking orders from the red-haired woman. The red haired woman appears to be the instigator and ring leader of ALL of the vandalism, violence, and hate crimes and also appears to be the source of the false accusations and rumors being spread around town calling me "gay" and "transsesxual".
When the 3 are seen together, the man backs down fast to the blond woman, as if scared of her, the way a boy os scared of an overbearing "mommy dearest". The blond woman and the red haired woman act to each other, like sisters or best friends, but the red head is very bossy to the blond one. The blond woman seems to have a very short, very violent temper and is easily worked into a frenzy by words of the red head woman.
When they attack me in the store, it is the blond woman who wields the shopping cart while the red head yells to her "There's EelKat! Go get her!"
They brag to being members of what they call "The Loyalist White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan"
Note that there is no group called "The Loyalist White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan" the ACTUAL group is called "The Loyal White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan" and is both a church (religious denomination) and a political party (like Democrats, Republicans, Whigs, Green Party, etc.). The REAL Ku Klux Klan has paid membership, rank, very specific robes, etc.
It appears that these people are NOT ACTUAL members of the Ku Klux Klan, but are rather simply calling themselves that and are doing hate crimes based off stereotypes of how the KKK is portrayed in movies (which is vastly different from how the actual organization acts.)
Also, I repeat: REAL KKK members wear very specific robes, stoles, capes, and hats... they DO NOT wear white pillow cases with holes cut in them. Also, contrary to urban myth, KKK robes come in all sorts of colours, including red, green, yellow, blue, etc. Only members of SPECIFIC RANKS wear white.
It appears these people know absolutely nothing about the REAL organization called the Ku Klux Klan, are NOT affiliated with the ACTUAL KKK group, and are simply running around calling themselves KKK members to justify their hate crimes.
The identity of the bald man who wears a white wig and USUALLY drives a 4-door white pick up truck, remains a mystery.
The identity of the blond woman and the red haired woman, also remains a mystery. Both women are close to my height. The red head is slightly chubby.
Interesting to note, is there are THREE (3) different 4-door white trucks. This man has access to all three, yet is not the owner of any of them. The owners of the 3 trucks are at 139 Portland Ave, 140 Portland Ave, and 3 Whispering Pines Drive. The bald man who wears the wig, somehow has access to the keys to all 3 of these trucks, though the owners of all 3 trucks claim no knowledge of the bald man. The bald man himself, continues to insist he works for the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall, once claiming to "work in Jeff's office". I am uncertain to what he was referencing when he said "Jeff's office". There is a "Jeff" at the Town Hall, but he doesn't have an office. He's an old man who's been a close friend of my family since the 1950s. He doesn't know the bald man either.
The owners of 2 of the trucks (140 Portland Ave and 3 Whispering Pines) do in fact work at the Town Hall - one is a woman who I go to church with at the Saco Ward Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and the other is my dad's cousin, and is the owner of the local sewage company and has a few dozen sewage pumper trucks, a few dozen garbage disposal trucks, and a few hundred port-a-potties sitting in his yard. (Pointing that part out as on April 10, 2015 someone pumped my motothome full of feces 3 feet deep, and it is suspected to be the bald man who wears a white wig and has access to the keys to trucks owned by the sewage company. and throughout 2007 to 2014 someone kept dumping garbage truck loads of garbage on my land.)
Given the evidence, it appears the bald man who wears a white wig and drives 3 different 4-door-white trucks, is a construction work who is also an employee of Blow Brothers Waste Removal Company, giving him access to both the garbage trucks that dumped garbage on my land and the sewage pumper trucks that filled my motorhome with feces, as well as giving him access to the backhoe that drove over my house August 8, 2013. Whoever this bald man is, he is the one who beat me up and tried to kill me on November 14, 2013. He is suspected of being the one who cut my cats heads off as well. He is also suspected of being the person who built the bomb that blew up my first house October 18, 2006.
This man is wanted by the FBI for attempted murder, 19 years of stalking, more then 200 counts of hate crimes, monstrous acts of animal abuse, domestic terrorism, and is considered to be extremely dangerous, most likely suffering from mental illness, suspected of likely suffering from Sociopathy/ Psychopathy.(wiki link)
This man is classified as a highly dangerous domestic terrorist and apparently lives in either Old Orchard Beach or Scarborough, Maine...possibly in Pine Point (the over lapping community that connects Old Orchard Beach and Scarborough) as dozens of witnesses have seen his 4-door white truck drive in the area around The Clambake Restaurant and Conway's Gas Company, driving in and out of the parking lots of various motels on that block.
If you know who he is please call the FBI Agent in charge of the case, Agent Andy Drewer, IMMEDIATELY.
If you see his truck, back away fast, get off the road and away from sidewalks ... he uses his truck as a weapon to slam into cars of any one he suspects of being LGBTQA and to run non-whites and suspected gays off the sidewalks. He is known to drive up on to lawns to attempt to hit people in their own yards.
NOTE: You do not have to be ACTUALLY LGBTQA for him to attack - you only need to be suspected by him, of being LGBTQA. He also attacks Blacks, Jews, Muslims, Irish, Scottish, Gypsies, and any one "not Christian" (by not Christian, he means not Baptist, as he attacks Catholics as well.)
The two women are also wanted by the FBI for assisting this man in his crimes.
I don't know who this white-haired/bald man and his two women are. They are strangers to me. I don't know their names. And I don't know why they are doing this.
The little older man, would also like to know who these 3 people are, as they are framing him for things he did not do, he being the man this bald man with the white wig is impersonating.
Some body in this town must know who these people are ... PLEASE... the FBI is trying to put a stop to these insane hate crimes... PLEASE if you know who these psychopathic monsters are, PLEASE tell Agent Andy Drewer before they kill me. They cut my car in half in 2010. They cut my cats in half in 2015. How long do you think it'll be before they cut ME in half too? PLEASE HELP ME!
➽ ➽ ➽ If you have any information regarding the identity of the stalker/attacker/driver of the 4-door white pick-up truck please contact Officer Tim DeLuca of the Old Orchard Beach Police Department @ 207-934-4911 and
Agent Andy Drewer
of the Portland FBI
◀️ ◀️ ◀️ ☎️
Please help the police and FBI put this brutal, violent, psychotically deranged stalker family in prison.
If you can identify her by her voice... the red haired woman can be heard yelling at me in this video (she shows up at 3:31 - 3 minutes and 31 seconds into the video and yells for about 2 minutes before a man arrives and drags her away - a gun shot can be heard AS she is saying "Fuck The Camera Ya Transvestite Freak") :
That video was filmed December 24, 2016, in Saint Andrea's Parking Lot in Biddeford, between Sullivan Street and High Street. I was unable to find the woman to get her on camera, but she's yelled at me so many times over the past decade that I know her voice and it was the red haired woman who calls herself "Kendra Silvermander." From the direction of her voice, I believe she was yelling from the 2nd floor window of the beige house at 23 High Street.
In addition to the property damages and physical injuries caused by these three people, I also suffer from serious crippling agoraphobia(wiki link), severe panic attacks(wiki link), and post traumatic stress disorder(wiki link),as a result of their now 2 decades of cruel torment and terrorism.
Please help the police and FBI put this brutal, violent, psychotically deranged stalker family in prison.
Have Information? Call FBI Agent Andy Drewer @ (207) 774-9322
Rather then ask the crazy gun-toting neighbours, and risk get shot by the psychotically deranged, white power gay haters that live up and down my street, patrolling obsessively by my driveway every 15 minutes in a 4 door white pick-up truck, just get directions from Google Maps. Here, you can find 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, ME right here:
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