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The Adventures of
Quaraun The Insane
Volume 2:
Kelim and The Necromancer


By EelKat Wendy C Allen

Third Edition Cover:

Book Available March 2015

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(The Night of the Screaming Unicorn)                           (BoomFuzzy)

About the Story:

KELIM AND THE NECROMANCER: Village baker, Toadstool Pixie, Kelim, is madly in love with Lilac Fairy Ophelia, daughter of the region's ruling aristocratic wizard Finderu. Ophelia doesn't even notice the Pixie.

For months Kelim pines away in silence, hoping to one day get her attention, until news spreads of her engagement to a prince. In a panic Kelim seeks out a wizard to cast a love spell on the Fairy, but the only wizard he can find is a travelling transvestite Moon Elf known for his use of Dark Magic and Di'Jin trickery.

Soon Kelim is happily married to the beautiful Ophelia, and the contract he signed long forgotten, until payment is due on the second anniversary of his wedding and Quaraun the Insane arrives with a Lich in tow demanding payment.


*(There are no sex scenes in this story.)

This story is rated T-16

The M-18 rating on the cover is the "overall series" rating. In order to sell this series in Japan the covers of all volumes require the highest rating on them, regardless of the individual story rating

Second Edition Cover:

Information From The Copyright Page and Introduction Pages:

Text copyright EelKat Wendy C. Allen 1997 – 2015

The Twighlight Manor Universe, EelKat, and all related characters and elements are copyrighted to The Twighlight Manor Press & Wendy C. Allen. All rights reserved.

Published by The Twighlight Manor Press

Volume 2 of a continuing 130 part serial is a long Novella/short Novel 47,191 words long.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or stored in any retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission of the publisher and author.

KELIM AND THE NECROMANCER: Village baker, Toadstool Pixie, Kelim, is madly in love with Lilac Fairy Ophelia, daughter of the region's ruling aristocratic wizard Finderu. Ophelia doesn't even notice the Pixie. For months Kelim pines away in silence, hoping to one day get her attention, until news spreads of her engagement to a prince. In a panic Kelim seeks out a wizard to cast a love spell on the Fairy, but the only wizard he can find is a travelling transvestite Moon Elf known for his use of Dark Magic and Di'Jin trickery.

Soon Kelim is happily married to the beautiful Ophelia, and the contract he signed long forgotten, until payment is due on the second anniversary of his wedding and Quaraun the Insane arrives with a Lich in tow demanding payment.

TRIGGER WARNING: This story contains references to suicide, attempted suicide, cutting, norms bullying aspies, and drug use.

Volume 2 of the series.

TYPE: Long Novella/Short Novel

WORD COUNT: still being written

PAGE COUNTstill being written

POINT OF VIEW: third person; Kelim’s point of view usually; a few times from Quaraun’s

HAPPY EVER AFTER? no, this volume does NOT have a happy ending; character death ending

CLIFFHANGER ENDING: Yes. Sort of. Almost. This volumes ends with a sort of “To Be Continued...”

CONTINUING SERIAL? Yes; this is volume 2 of 130

MATURE CONTENT? Yes; strong language, drug use, and fantasy violence

Rating: T-16

INTERRACIAL COUPLES? Yes; a male Pixie and a female Flower Fairy

GENRE: Bizarro

SUB-GENRE: Literary Sword & Sorcery Dark Wizard Questing Fantasy

LITERARY FICTION WARNING: This entire series is Slice of Life Vignette Literary Fiction, meaning there’s a lot of dialogue, a lot of talking, a lot of thinking, a lot of monologue, and a lot of emotional introspective, but not much action going on in this heavily character driven series. Each story is a narrow focused look at a single event (often a single day or hour) in Quaraun's life.

SERIES UNIVERSE: This is a Twighlight Manor Spin-off series which exists in the same alternate Earth dimension of The Twighlight Manor Universe, set in a pre-Medieval time before the Flamites or Chrystonites invaded the Earth, when Faeries, Elves, Gnomes, and Dwarves still ruled the land and Humans were not yet the ruling race. Though this is a pre-Twighlight Manor setting (The Forest of No Return is in fact the same forest as The Twighlight Forest – the real forest if you ever wanted to visit it, is The Ross Forest in Old Orchard Beach, Maine, where I live-, where the Flamites eventually build the Manor, in what will one day become known as Old Orchard Beach, Maine, America. The North Lands Quaraun comes from are somewhere north of what is now Quebec, Canada) it is every bit as surreal and bizarro as the rest of Twighlight Manor Universe books are. 

ABOUT THE SERIES: Quaraun was a peaceful autistic Moon Elf content with his life of making magic items for fellow wizards. Quaraun fast gained a reputation for building the most powerful magical artifacts the world had ever known. One day 13 Necromancers, disguised as traveling mages, came to him requesting 13 genie bottles to capture 13 powerful Di'Jin. Unknown to Quaraun, their true purpose was to find an innocent powerful enough to create 13 completely invincible phylacteries.

Upon reaching Lichdom, the 13 Necromancers now known as The Lich Lords, set out to destroy anyone who could identify and destroy their phylacteries. To cover their tracks they annihilated the entire Moon Elf race, but they one mistake: they left before checking to make sure everyone was dead. For two hundred years The Lich Lords ruled the Earth believing there was no one who could stop them....

Until one day rumours arose of a survivor, a solitary Moon Elf driven mad by grief and centuries of solitude, now turned to Necromancy, motivated by the desire to stop at nothing to avenge his people and right the wrong he did by building the 13 phylacteries of The Lich Lords... And so began THE ADVENTURES OF QUARAUN THE INSANE.

PRONUNCIATION GUIDE:

Quaraun: Quay-Rownn A name I made up, for one of my player characters while playing RPG games. Pronounced like in Quaking Quaker, in an Earthquake rescued by a RoNin in a row-boat made of Rowan wood. Merrily they sail away as the quaking Quaker sings Row, Row, Row your boat. Quaraun = Quay-Rownn. Quaraun is a cross-dressing albino Elf.

Phooka: Foo-KA, Like phooey foo-fighters and kakapo birds. A Phooka, pronounced with a soft “f” and spelt with a “ph” is an evil blood thirsty type of Faerie, not to be confused with Pooka (poo-ka – pronounced with a hard “P” like Winnie the Pooh Bear and spelt with no “h”) also not to be confused with invisible rabbits named Harvey. This is not a race I invented or created. Phookas are a little known but powerful shape shifter race and among the most feared of all races of Welsh and Scottish Fae, said to be feared even by RedCaps.

Thullid: th-ooo-LID, like you was thinking of thick goo on a lid. th-ooo-LID. Thullid. A race I created specifically for this series. A Lovecraftian creature, similar to a humanoid version of Cthulhu; basically a pink or purple skinned squid/octopus headed humanoid alien type thing, with lots and lots and lots of tentacles wriggling all over the place.

How This Series and Its Characters Began:

The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane, is a Wizard Questing Sword & Sorcery Yaoi Bizarro Fantasy written in Slice of Life Literary format. Each volume of this 130 part serial is 20k to 35k words long (about 100 pages each). Episodes will be released monthly from September 2014 to December 2023, with the full story spanning over 4 million words (about 14,000 pages). This series is based off the Chaotic Neutral Transvestite Necromancer Moon Elf I played in Dungeons & Dragon's Temple of Elemental Evil, Ravenloft, and Forgotten Realms campaigns, and I currently act him out in full costumed CosPlay in a SpellJammer campaign. The stories in this series are based off the transcripts of these long running RPG game sessions.

Some of Quaraun’s quirks were not written into the character, but rather came about due to my own health issues, namely that I have Autism (thus the lack of normal emotional responses, the slow thinking and not being quick to pick up on the obvious) and that I have abnormally low blood pressure (90/60 to 70/60) which results in constant fainting spells. Since the player (me) had constant fainting spells disrupting the game sessions, it became a running gag with the game group, for the other players’ characters to go out of their way to try to make my character faint. All this has been written into the series, just as we played it out in the game sessions.

Unicorn, an Illusionist Faerie Trickster, is another character I played in these game sessions, and he too, picks up on real health issues I have, namely that he is nearly blind. The way the world is described through his eyes, is exactly how I see the world in real life: foggy grey, with bright splashes of colors.

Other characters seen throughout this series (BeaLuna, ZooLock, and Captain Quirk) are all characters I have played in various game sessions, and as with Quaraun and Unicorn, physical handicaps and disabilities they are portrayed with, are actual handicaps and disabilities I have in real life, and are portrayed in the same manner at which I live with these issues.

The Master/slave BDSM relationship between Unicorn and Quaraun, is likewise a reflection of my own personal relationship with my partner. The two of us have been together 28 years. He is white, I am not, he is 30 years older then me. I am a drag queen/transvestite who wears sequins, furs, eye blinding neon pink ball gowns, and drive a rhinestoned Volvo, decked out in 2.5million marbles, beads, and rhinestones. (Pictures of the car can be seen here.)

In short, everything from Quaraun’s outlandish outfits to his personal relationships to his life constantly being disrupted by his ill health and mental disabilities, is all accurately portrayed based off my own life as a drag queen suffering from these same physical and mental handicaps.

I got tired of reading Fantasy books that do not accurately portray people like me: a physically handicapped, Autistic, transvestite, drag queen, who is the slave of a Master/slave BDSM Dec/May interracial relationship. And thus I created a character based off my own life, health, and relationship, in order that Fantasy may have a diverse representation of someone like myself. The Adventures of Quaraun the Insane, is the end result.

This Bizarro serial is overall rated M-18 for strong language, explicit yaoi sex, drug use, suicidal characters, and other fantasy adult situations.

Not all stories in the series contain M-rated material, many stories are only T-16.

This series was rated using the FanFiction.Net rating system, as it was originally published there between 1997 and 2011 – this is the non-fan fiction rewrite of the older fan fiction series. 

CONTENT WARNING: The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane series was rated using the FanFiction. Net rating system, as it was originally published there in hundreds of 5,000 word chapters between 1997 and 2011 – this is the non-fan fiction rewrite of the older fan fiction series. 

The Rating Chart is as follows:

E-Rated: Suitable for everyone, but usually geared for ages under 8

PG-Rated: May contain topics (such as death, divorce, or mild swearing) disturbing to sensitive children. Parents may wish to read before letting children read it.

T-Rated: Contains topics not advised for readers under the age of 12, which may include mild language, tobacco use, alcohol use, LGBT characters in non-sexual situations, and mild fantasy violence

T-16 Rated: Contains topics not advised for readers under the age of 16, which may include mild references to sex, drugs, suicide, LGBT themes, and violence

M-18 Rated: Contains topics not advised for readers under the age of 18, which may include strong references to sex, drugs, suicide, LGBT themes, and violence.

MA-21 Rated: Explicit Erotica, for mature adults only.

The Adventures of Quaraun The Insane Bizarro serial is overall Rated M-18 for strong language, explicit yaoi sex, BDSM, knotting, barbs, tentacles,  drug use, cutting, suicide, thoughts of suicide, attempted suicide, norms bullying autistic characters, victims of bullying and abuse taking revenge on/torturing and murdering their attackers, and transsexual, inter-racial, December/May, male/male relationships. Not all of these things appear in all stories in the series. Not all stories in the series contain M-rated material, many stories are only T-16. 

This series is NOT rated MA-21 because it is NOT Erotica. (Some volumes however, do contain erotic content.) There seems to be some confusion here, because of the M-18 Rating, some readers are falsely assuming that this is Erotica. Readers have asked if this was an Erotica series. No, this series is not Erotica. It is Literary Bizarro Fantasy. It is ONLY rated the much lower rating of M-18 it is NOT rated at the much higher rating of MA-21.

ADDITIONAL CONTENT WARNING: All of the characters in this book are Scottish Gypsies. The main character (Quaraun) has Autism. Two of the primary characters (Quaraun and Unicorn) are both suicidal.  The author of this series is a Scottish Gypsy with Autism. The Quaraun series is written from an Autistic Gypsy's point of view of the world. If you have issues with Gypsies, Autistic characters, or suicidal characters, you probably do not want to read this series. Many of my fans, followers, and readers were unaware that I was a Gypsy until the publication of this series. The publication of the series has resulted in a series of both online and offline protest. I am now adding this warning to the front of each book in this series so readers can know ahead of time to avoid this series if they hate Gypsies. If you are unaware of what happened, this series went live September 2014 and on October 2014 THIS HAPPENED IN RESPONSE.

NON-AMERICAN & NON-UK ENGLISH WARNING:  This series has not been translated into American English or UK English!  It is written in the author’s native language of Scottish Gypsy English.

SPECIAL NOTE: FarDarrig is a Scottish Gypsy, same race, culture, and ethnicity as the author of this book. His dialogue is not written in American English, nor UK English, but rather in Scottish Gypsy English, which is quite a bit different from what most people are used to reading. When you are reading his spoken words, you are reading the native language, normally spoken and written by the author of this book, exactly as it looks before being edited for publication for American and British readers. His words were left unedited, and are what this entire book looked like before being edited into American English. Because Scottish Gypsies do not speak or write in a standard form of English, each of EelKat’s books takes several extra weeks to edit. 

(FarDarrig does not appear in this volume.)

SERIAL WARNING! This is an open ended pulp fiction serial, meaning it is planned to run for a period of 130 or more volumes, like a television soap opera, it has no planned ending in sight. While each story is a fully complete beginning/middle/ending story and can be read on it's own, know that they do contain a continuation, that is best learned through reading them in order. There are currently 130 volumes outlined for this mega serial, with more being added. It is projected to have 1 to 2 monthly releases for a period of at least 5 years, starting in September 2014, making this my second longest running serial after The Twighlight Manor Series, which is now in its 36th year as of September 23, 2014 (volume #1 was published September 23, 1978, and it's still going, with no end in sight!) This is a spin-off “prequel series” of The Twighlight Manor series.

COSPLAY INFORMATION: If you are interested in making the costumes for the characters, I am a fashion designer and all of the character costumes I make for conventions, were made using the official Quaraun the Insane CosPlay Fabrics, see here.

I hope you will enjoy reading these stories as much as I have enjoyed writing them for you.

~Many hugs & kisses From EelKat





First Edition Cover:

Where to find more info about the series:

Answers to reader questions about the series can be found HERE.

A cover art gallery with links to each volumes own page (more pages like this one) and be found HERE.

Character profile pages (coming soon).

Official CosPlay Fabrics For This Book:

As many of you know, I am a CosPlayer, costume maker, and fabric designer. (With a degree in Fashion Design) I make every outfit described in my books, and as such, I also make the unique fabrics so that I can make said costumes.

Before Quaraun and Unicorn were characters in these books, they were player characters I played in Dungeons and Dragons, Pathfinder, Ravenloft, and Spelljammer games, and I ALWAYS attend game sessions in costume.

Quaraun:

Quaraun is an albino Moon Elf. His skin and hair are both opaline powder white. 

This volume never specifies which dress(es) Quaraun is wearing.

The one most often mentioned is this one:

The bubblegum pink medallion Gypsy Cloth, which the story describes Quaraun using to make his dresses. The costume can be make with this fabric as is, but to be accurate to the book, one would embroider large (about 8 inches acrossed) dark magenta hearts over the medallions printed on this cloth and then with silver seed beads, bead-embroider the white cross-cross and medallion outlines printed on the cloth.

Kelim:

(coming soon)

Ophelia:

(coming soon)

Xadri Witsnot:

(coming soon)

Finderu The Masked:

(coming soon)


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UPDATE: June 5, 2017
US Department of Justice, Civil Rights Division,
Joins FBI In Investigation of
Old Orchard Beach Town Hall and Police Department 
For Hate Crimes & Discrimination Done To
140+ Gypsies, Blacks, & LGBTQA+ Residents



Have Information?
Please Call FBI Agent Andy Drewer @ (207) 774-9322  

More info on what happened can be found HERE.