SpaceDock 13 is now EelKat.com

EelKat Wendy Christine Allen
Author, Artist, & Art Car Designer
 

How to say my name?

Eel + Cat = EelKat














Contact Info

How To Contact EelKat Wendy Christine Allen

Last Updated: April 3, 2015


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By EelKat Wendy C Allen





Find Me On:

FaceBook (I'm a high use Zynga gamer, my newsfeed is nearly all game posts - hundreds daily, only friend me is you don't mind massive game post bombardments.)

Twitter (2nd best place to interact with me, I use it like a chat room - so I often hit the 200 posts per hour limit, many times a day. I also auto tweet quotes, and RT a lot of stuff from my follows. I've 40,000+ tweets. Twitter lists me as "The most active user in the State of Maine".)

Pinterest (I tend to use this in bursts. Won't long in for weeks to a time, then BOOM long in and make 200 posts all at once. So if you follow me, be prepared for long spaces of silence interrupted by single day mega blasts.

MySpace (I rarely use this these days. Kind of only keep it up for "historical value".)

WordPress (After 16 years online, I shut down on November 11, 2014, due to a hacker - I do have the original xhtml backups and all the pre-pub drafts of every post and will be moving all 16 years worth of 6,000+ blog posts here to my homepage/website, but this is a one woman project. Being my own web-master/ site designer/ programmer, means I do not have anyone working on this site other then myself, so the post move is taking place in between my writing projects, my art gallery showings, my art car building projects, and my doctor & hospital visits, so it'll be a while before they all return back online.)

Tumblr (Best place to interact with me - I'm logged in and posting daily - If I follow you I'm HIGHLY likely to reblog your posts. If you are an author - I frequently reblog book promo posts, just follow me and I'll follow back, and I reblog any book promo post that sparks my interest: - hint, it you write Monster Porn, I'm probably gonna just reblog every post featuring a link to your books - I'm a MAJOR Monster Porn addict, as are most of my followers. My Tumblr has proven to be one of the best places for Monster Porn authors to do FREE BOOK PROMOS. If you write Monster Porn, you definitely want to get on my follow list.)

Google+ (Had this for a while, but only recently started using it. 

Squidoo  - Squidoo was killed by the infamous Google Panda-Penguin Two Punch on September 28, 2014. May it rest in peace. From 2007 to 2014, I was one of their 32 Squid-Angels [moderators].

Squidoo had 32 categories.

There were 32 Squid Angels.

Each category has 5 Angels assigned to it.

Each Angel gets assigned to 5 categories.

I'm not sure exactly how that all added up in the end, but, that's the figures Squidoo gave about it.

The Squidoo Categories Were:

> # About Me

> # Animals & Nature

> # Arts

> # Cars & Trucks

> # Books

> # Business

> # Computers, Gadgets & Tech

> # DIY & Hobbies

> # Duels!

> # How-To & Education

> # Entertainment

> # Food & Cooking

> # Green Living

> # Health & Medicine

> # Home & Garden

> # Humor

> # Local

> # Movies & TV

> # Music

> # News & Politics

> # Parenting & Kids

> # People

> # Nonprofits & Volunteering

> # Pop Culture & Celebs

> # Religion & Spirituality

> # SEO & Affiliate Marketing

> # Shopping

> # Sports & Recreation

> # Squidoo Tips

> # Travel

> # Video Games

> # Work At Home

Of those, the 5 which I have been assigned to moderate were:

> # Arts

> # Cars & Trucks

> # Movies & TV

> # Music

> # Work At Home

I also specialized in advising young Squids in using html/ css/ javascript code hacks to pimp out their lenses (pages) and was the creator of a style of lense creating known as "The Big Lenses" [Lenses with 10,000 to 20,000 word long reader-interactive articles].

In that time I created 600+, 2 of which ranked in the top 10 most visited lenses of all time, for 4 years running, and more then 30 of which remained on the top 100 list from 2009 to 2011, and winning 5 purple star awards. My Lord Sesshomaru Costume Lens remained the #1 website on Google for the search term "Lord Sessomaru CosPlay" for 7 years, and received as many as 7,000 visits a day, bringing in a whopping $200 a month income from AdWords [for me - after Squidoo took their 50% cut, which means it was actually bringing in $400 a month], resulting in Squidoo declaring me as their third highest paid member of all time.

I had more then 300 Lenses for authors on topics of Self-Publishing, Character Creation, World Building, Serial Pulp Fiction Writing, etc. Since Squidoo went offline I've received hundreds of emails from followers asking if those articles will return. Yes. Those will be returning. I am currently compiling, expanding, and updating those articles into a series of books, which will show up on amazon's Kindle around September 2015. The book editions, will include a dozen or more articles combined into book format, of about 150/200 pages long each. Those 300+ lenses will be republished in  a series of about 10 or 12 books.

I will miss Squidoo.

And yes - since I've gotten THOUSANDS of emails requesting I put my Lord sesshomaru costume article series up on my website...it will return, don't know when, but it will be back. I have copies of all the articles, all the photos, all the sewing instructions, and wig and armor making how-tos. None of the info was lost when Squidoo disapeared off the internet. I kept back-ups of everything. It will eventually return. Just don't know exactly when. But here's a pretty picture of our beloved Lord Fluffiness himself, while you wait:

Lord Sesshomaru:

(from InuYasha by Rumiko Takahashi)

Manga/Comic Book  -2009

Anime/TV Show/Cartoon - 2011

Live Action Movie - 2013 (played by Jiang Yi) 

You're right, what was I thinking, that wasn't enough Sesshomaru. Let's get some videos in there. 

There is no such thing as too much Fluffy.

But - OMG! Most of the Sesshy fans have no idea there was a live action movie made, so damn, we gotta get some videos of that in here for you... 

And if you've never seen the live action movie before, yes, they did make a lot of changes, including to make Rin an adult, Jakan a human, Sarah is in the movie (a non-canon character from the TV show that wasn't in the book), Sesshomaru turns into a dragon instead of a hellhound, and turning the cannon Sesshomaru + Kagura relationship of the book into a Sesshomaru X Rin X Kagura X Sarah lover's triangle (and you just know every Sesshy fangirl on the planet is screaming: YES! They gave him all 3 of them!) - and LOOK at Kagura's pink feather costume in this -23 hour long- movie. I love the new costumes they did on the characters in this.

And the flute that Sarah uses to control Sesshomaru with in the cartoon? Rin has that in the movie. In the movie, Rin can get him to do anything with the flute, and she uses it to break up the constant sword fights between him and InuYasha.

The movie takes the base story of the InuYasha series (The InuYasha X Kagome X Kikyo time travel relationship with the hunt for the shards - a string of pearls in the movie - thus the name of the movie 'The Holy Pearl'-, and then pulls the characters from the Band of Seven sub-set, making Bankotsu into one of Naraku's primary minions - you see all of them in the movie clips below).

Jiang Yi is absolutely gorgeous! They couldn't have picked a better actor to play Sesshomaru.  Unfortunately, like in the book and the TV show, Sesshomaru is only a very minor character and doesn't have a whole lot of screen time. 

Because Sesshomaru is the only full-demon in the movie, he's the only character to retain his white hair. All the other white haired characters from the book,  were half-demon and in the movie, only full demons have white hair, so in the movie, InuYasha has black hair - and horns (I guess because it was easier to make horns on his head then ears?)

And just look at those over-the-top, faker-then-heck B-movie special effects! The fight scenes in this are a total B-movie cheese feast. I love it. Oh, yeah, and Sesshomaru flies in the movie, just like he does in the books and show...check out that B-Movie special effect. :P

They went so over-the-top historically accurate, mega amazing on the costumes and settings of this movie, then dropped in Mighty Morphing Power Rangers style special effects and fight scenes...it's like...Why? Why? You put so much money into the customs and the scene and set, and then you go Power Rangers on the special effects? What?... oh well. This was made to be a children's movie, so, yeah.

Note: there is no English translation of this movie, but all 23 hours of it are up on YouTube,  if you want to watch it.

(And spoiler alert, if you didn't like what happened to Sessh at the end of the book & TV show - you are REALLY going to hate the change they made for the end of this movie - it's much, much, much worse. Think of the one think they could have done to make it worse - yeah, that's what they did.)


Direct Contact Info

Let's get one thing straight right now: I like my privacy and I don't like being disturbed needlessly. I don't like bitchy, whiny, busy-body, nosey cry-babies, and I have absolutely no patience what-so-ever for any self-righteous holier-than-thou you're going to Heaven and I'm going to Hell crap.

If you REALLY want to contact me, you better have a damned good reason and not waste my time, because I WILL curse your ass if you write anything that ticks me off. Think carefully before you contact me. Think, very, very, very carefully.

There are A LOOOOT of Christians in America who believe that because they are Christian it gives them the right  to lavish me with every vile name calling label they can think of. Many of them choose to land in my inbox on a daily basis. Several have shown up in my yard, at my home to beat me up. Christian have groups frequently land in my driveway and march around with protests signs.

One man (who claims to be a Mormon/LDS High Priest) started emailing me on a daily basis in August 1997 and continued to send me daily hate mail (both in emails and in handwritten snail mail) until he died of brain cancer in September of 2013. Each of his letters were between 21 to 64 double sided pages long, and brimming filled to overflowing with his "vehement hatred" (his words) of me, my lifestyle, and everything I stand for. He was by far the most persistent in his dogmatic hatred for me.

Then there are people like Kendra. She started emailing me in September 2006 and showing up at my home, and at restaurants while eating with my family, and hacking my forum accounts, and posting requests on forums for people to kill me (in answer to her request a man built a grease fryer bomb and blew up my house, while me and my family were asleep in said house, on October 16, 2006). She is certainly the most insanely psychotic and mentally deranged of my anti-EelKat hate-fans.

Members of the LDS Saco Ward are perhaps the most violent. They included the bomb building Bishop's First Counsellor, a name calling & rock throwing Relief Society President, the now excommunicated gay-hating vandal Bishop and is angry mob of yard destroying & paintballing congregation members, oh yes, and of course the Bishop's second counselor aka the Crime Lord Town Manager of Old Orchard Beach who embezzled $3million in town taxes and blamed it on me citing that I was a "poltergeist" and "compelled" him to do it via my "Satanic magic". They left me crippled for the rest of my life I now have to wear a leg brace, a back brace, two arm braces, and walk with a cane, that after being paralyzed for 5 months from my injuries.

Two of the above went to prison, 34 of the 37 vandals died by being struck by lightning, 5 of the families died via murder&suicide in each case the father shot his wife and children before killing himself. In the space of 5 years the Saco Ward went for 250 members to 25 members. They are currently (2014 to 2015) desperately sending Home Teachers, Visiting Teachers, and Missionaries to my home with gifts and cookies and baked goods and Thanksgiving/ Christmas/ Easter baskets begging my forgiveness for the events of 2006 to 2009 and requesting I remove the curse I placed on their church in response to their acts of hatred. 

They bombed my house, left my father in a coma, I had to have plastic surgery to reconstruct my face, they left me crippled for the rest of my life I now have to wear a leg brace, a back brace, two arm braces, and walk with a cane, that after being paralyzed for 5 months from my injuries, and I've been homeless for 9 years since the bomb, because I have $3million in medical bills and can not afford to rebuild the house, and they think boxes of holiday food will make up for THAT?

If they REALLY want to say they are sorry, and expect me to believe it, they're gonna have to pay my medical bills and rebuild my house, until that is done I will neither forgive them, nor remove the curse from their church building and it's congregation. I was an active member of that congregation since 1978 and this is how they reacted when they found out what I was - people who pretended to be my friends for 27 years, they let their true colours fly high when they tried to murder me and my family. If they want forgiveness they need to prove they are worthy of being forgiven.

I am an Autistic, Transvestite, Gypsy, Voodoo Priestess, Necromancer. I irk people on many levels. They see me as "evil" and "scum of the earth" and "child of Satan". I know, because I receive on average 2,000 emails each and every week since 1997, telling me exactly that.

Because of who and what I am, I get A LOT of hate mail: I receive on average more then 2,000 "I hate you, you are evil, and I wish you were dead" emails EVERY SINGLE WEEK - and I print everyone of them up and cast a curse on every one of them, sending a return of those ill-wishes straight back at you. 

I am a Necromancer. I work with spirits of the dead, ancestor spirits, ghosts, Dark Fae (including Phookas, FarDarrigs, Kelpies, Unicorns, and Brackish water faeries), and also daemons. All of my spells are cast with graveyard dirt and in a graveyard (there are 4 separate cemeteries on my farm: one from the 1600s, one from the 1800s, a horse graveyard, and a pet cemetery). I work with both Human and Animal spirits and in both Human and pet cemeteries.

Most magic practitioners call the magic arts I do "Dark" or "Black" magic. Some call it Chaos magic. If such things bother you, you may wish to avoid me, my site, and you will especially wish to not antagonize or annoy me as I think nothing of casting curses, vengeance spells, retribution spells, and mirror box death wangas. 

I specialize in gris-gris ("voodoo dolls") both "good" and "evil" types. I am NOT a tutti-frutti, fluffy bunny white witch who's scared to cast curses and death spells, antagonize me and I WILL cast one on you. I'm Maine's most famous and most feared "witch". Why do you think Stephen King chose our clan to base Thinner off of?

Tip-toe through the tulips and tread lightly around me. I may dress in pink glitter and rhinestones, but don't let that fool you, I'm not the witch you want mad at you.

If you want to contact me and have me take you seriously, then first you must remove your self-righteous, disrespectful, hatemongering, bigoted, holier-than-thou attitude. Leave your God and your religion at the door. I happen to be a Christian, I know all about your God and your Bible. In fact all of the spells I cast, come directly out of the Bible. I am a Scottish Gypsy, after all, we are of Persian descent, the order of the Magi, that order of God Fearing Sorcerers founded by Daniel of the Lion's Den Fame. It is our guild that predicted the coming of the Christ Child and arrived in Bethlehem bearing gifts, according to the Gospel of Luke. Necromancers every one. Think about that, Honey, next time you are setting up your little Nativity scene under your Christmas tree: those do be three little Necromancers you got sitting under your tree worshiping at the Christ Child's manger. You better find out what the hell a Necromancer is, before you start putting us down.

I attended 12 years of Calvinist Seminary for training in the Pastoral Ministry. And 3 years of Seventh Day Adventist Seminary Studies specializing in the life on times of Daniel. And I am a 5th generation Mormon, descended from the first members of the Concronite Congregations on Heath Street in Saco, Maine, (the FIRST Ward of the Mormon Church aka the original Saco ward) where the ORIGINAL Mormons were meeting in the 1780s, some 40 years BEFORE the birth of "official" church founder Joseph Smith.

Since I was 9 years old I have read the Bible, cover to cover like a novel 31 times. Likewise I have read the Book of Mormon in the same fashion 14 times, and the Doctrines and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price and Book of Abraham in like fashion 3 times each. I have also read the Nag Hamid, The Dead Sea Scrolls, all 72 of the Gnostic Gospels, The Torah, The Koran, The Book of Enoch, and about 300 other holy texts of various Abrahamic and non-Abrahamic religious.

I have written detailed commentary (most more then 20 pages long each) on each every one of the chapters, of each and every book, of each and every one of above mentioned holy works of scripture.

In addition, I read a chapter of Ecclesiastes, The Book of Daniel, Psalms, Proverbs, The Four Gospels of Christ each and every morning and each and every night.

None of this includes my daily self-guided Bible study classes, which I have held in my yard for 40+ years now.

I am also a ghostwriter of sermons for a few dozen pastors, ministers, and bishops of 15 different Christian denominations.

Honey, I don't care how much better then me you think you are, nor do I care to read you seriously misquoted and out of context witch-hating Bible verses (NEWSFLASH: the word "witch" was INVENTED by Heinrich Kramer in 1458 and was not ADDED to the Bible until 1611, when King James ordered the removal of all words referencing to medical doctors, physicians, pharmacists, and nurses to be replaced by the word witch instead, because it was King James' belief that sickness was God's way of culling evil people from the Earth and that healers were servants of Satan, sent by Satan to remove "God's punishment", and therefore they were "witches". The Bible originally forbid going to any type of healer for healing, stating to only go to the priests [who were sorcerers] for healing via "God's Will" aka magic.)

You don't want to start arguing the Bible with me, Honey, because I know that book inside out, and in addition to the 31 times of having read the King James Version, I have also read 16 other translations and studied the Greek, Latin, and Armaic lexicons to learn the original meanings of the original texts.

So before you contact me, take your self-righteous, holier-than-thou, "I'm the best Christian on the planet and you are an evil worthless piece of Satanic shit" attitude and stuff it up your ass.

Next, sit your stuffed ass in a chair, spread out a nice piece of paper, grab yourself a pen, and HAND WRITE me a letter (you do know how to write with a pen on paper, don't you?), put it in an envelope, stick a stamp on it (you know, those little square things you have to buy at the Post Office), walk to your mailbox and snail mail it to me @ EelKat 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, Maine 04064, via the The United States Postal Service.

Just remember that if you send me hate mail, I am a Voodoo Priestess, Hoodoo Rootworker, and the Holy Woman of the Scottish Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Maine. I WILL use your letter as a "personal concern" to cast a curse on you or bless you based on the content and intent of your letter, and by you having handwritten it, I will also be able to read your handwriting (I'm a graphologist) and know way more about you then you'll ever want anyone knowing. How you write, the words you choose to use, the weight/pressure applied while writing, the color of the paper and ink, the angle of your letters, cursive vs italic vs print, it all says a lot about you.

Because of my ability to read handwriting, is why I do not take any emailed or typed and printed contact seriously. Only someone with something to hide, refuses to hand write a letter. I never trust a person who has something to hide. People who are not transparent in everything they do are not to be trusted on any level. If you want me to trust you and believe you are sincere, then hand write me a letter, and I will know the truth in your heart, by reading HOW you wrote, what you wrote.

Just because I wear pink rhinestones, doesn't change the fact that I'm still a Necromancer. And if you write to me with an attitude of you are King Shit and I'm not worth crap, I will call down the Grigory Angels, the Avenging Angels, and the Holy Watchers of Heaven and all the Demons of Hell and send their blazing spears up your ass. Don't know ho those angels are or how I know how to call on their help? damn, Honey, I thought you said you knew the Bible? All the step-by-step instructions, complete with each angels name an order are right there in the Book. Maybe you ought to try not being spoon fed your Bible in church and actually READ it for yourself for a change!

Likewise, I bless those who are kind to me. Speak kind words and good luck shall follow you. So think carefully before you write to me.

Yeah. Think long and hard about that next time you misquote something you heard your pastor saying, because Honey, he's misquoting those verses to keep you in the dark. There ain't no pastor on this planet that REALLY wants you to read your Bible and find out all the spell casting rituals it details, step-by-step how to do. Every spell, every curse I cast, I cast with God's blessing and in Jesus name. It's why my spells work, so damned well.

I get more than 2,000 emails a week. (More since the Twighlight vs Twilight fiasco). I write & edit books and articles 60 hours a week. I run an animal shelter (feral cat and bird rescue) that houses 500+ animals at any given time, and takes me 5 hours a day just to feed them. I also have a family to cook and clean for, including a husband with Alzheimer's. I am thus backlogged with (at last count {August 2008}) more than 300,000 unread emails. If you want me to read your email, you have a LOOOONG waiting list ahead of you - today is not looking good for your chances of getting an email through to me, and neither is tomorrow.

I NEVER answer private correspondences privately. You WILL NOT get an email response from me. IF I decide to respond to you, I will do so by creating a blog post here on my site.

If you want Christmas Cards, Birthday Cards, or Postcards of Maine sent to you:

Mail me a Christmas Card and I will mail one back to you.

Mail me a Birthday Card (August 13), make a note of your own birth date and I will mail one back to you. 

Mail me a postcard of your state, country, or hometown, write "postcard exchange" on the back, and I will mail a postcard of my local area (Saco Bay, Saco, Old Orchard Beach, or Biddeford - Maine) back to you.

If you don't have something nice to say to me, you damn well better not say anything to me at all.


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Below is a list of the ACTUAL, REAL, OFFICIAL online accounts owned and managed by me:

on Amazon:  ► http://www.amazon.com/author/eelkat

on FaceBook - Profile:  ► http://www.facebook.com/EelKat

on FaceBook - Fan Page:  ► https://www.facebook.com/EelKatWendyCAllen

on FaceBook - Writer's Group:  ► https://www.facebook.com/ShortStoryWriters

on Google+:  ► https://plus.google.com/+EelKat/posts/p/pub

's Home Page:  ► http://www.EelKat.com

on Instagram:  ► https://www.instagram.com/eelkat

on Itch.io:  ► https://eelkat.itch.io

on MySpace:  ► https://www.MySpace.com/eelkat

on Pinterest:  ► https://www.pinterest.com/eelkat

on Spoonflower:  ► http://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/eelkat

on Steam:  ► http://steamcommunity.com/id/eelkat

on Tumblr: ► http://eelkat.tumblr.com

on Twitter:   ► https://twitter.com/EelKat

on YouTube - Subscribe Today! ► https://www.youtube.com/user/EelKat

on Zazzle:  ► http://www.zazzle.com/eelkat

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Looking for the Quaraun books? The original Unicorn Porn #Yaoi short stories are no longer available, but are currently being compiled in chronological order and republished as novels. The new Kindle novel editions can be found here:   http://tinyurl.com/Quaraun 

Interviews about the Quaraun series: 

❤️ ❣️ ☮

Hugs and kisses to my wonderful fans. Love you all! Talk to you again soon.  

If it ain't on this list, it's probably fake.

~EK 

Throughout 2013 - 2015 a slew of FAKE "EelKat" accounts surfaced, both on social networks and on forums.

NOTE: I was very active on forums from 1997 to 2007 and have RARELY used a forum since then. Other then the Warriors Forum and Absolute Write I have not posted on ANY forums AT ALL since 2012.

Note: My old inactive forum accounts were hacked and "resurrected" in 2013/2014/2015 by a psychotic NaNoWriMo ML who is upset over my having won a total of 27 writing contests/challenges and published 130+ novels since 2004 and and apparently (according to her emails) she has yet to win or publish anything.

If you see "me" posting on a forum at any point after 2012, know that it is likely this mysterious, and still yet unidentified "Kendra Silvermander".

More information about Kendra Silvermander and what she did can be found here.

➽ ➽ ➽ If you have any information regarding the identity of the stalker/attacker/driver of the 4-door white pick-up truck please contact Officer Tim DeLuca of the Old Orchard Beach Police Department @ 207-934-4911 and/or Agent Andy Drewer of the Portland FBI @ 207-774-9322 ◀️ ◀️ ◀️ ☎️

Please help the police and FBI put this brutal, violent, psychotically deranged stalker in prison.

Need Directions?

Rather then ask the crazy gun-toting neighbours, and risk get shot by the psychotically deranged, white power gay haters that live up and down my street, patrolling obsessively by my driveway every 15 minutes in a 4 door white pick-up truck, just get directions from Google Maps. Here, you can find 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, ME right here:


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And, in case you missed the notice at the top and felt the need to make a fool of yourself in my inbox, here's the notice again, longer this time.

We Gypsies of Old Orchard Beach, Maine, are Scottish & this site therefore uses our Native Scottish English. We are no Americans, so please do no expect to find American English here.

For example spellings like "travelling" or "colour", pronoun differences "me" for "my" or "you" for "your" might look unfamiliar to you. They are in fact correct in our language. 

Yes, I do receive you many emails pointing out what you believe to be typos and spelling errors. No, I do no respond to your American arrogance in thinking nothing other then the American language exists or your ignorance to the existence of languages other then you own. You do have a brain; I highly recommend you try using it. You might find you actually enjoy it.

I does no ask of you to speak to me in me own language, so do no ask of me to speak to you in yous language, for just as you does no know me language existed, I do no know how to use you language, though, I did have enough brain to know it existed and not berate you for using you own native tongue. I can'na say as much for thems that thought to bitch at me in emails.