If life gives you lemons, then you grab life by the balls and say you're taking them too. Why make lemonade when you can make testicle stew? I don't take shit from no one, I stand up to bullies like you.
I do others, including automatic writing, seances, and vision questing, but not as often.
NOTE: I do NOT read Tarot cards. I have never had lessons in Tarot reading and don't know how to perform Tarot deck readings, sorry. It's the single most frequently asked question I get from people. I use oracle cards. While I have dozens of card decks, I specifically do nearly ALL of my readings with one of the following six decks:
There is a lot of Hoodoo work I don't do for one reason or another, usually because I'm not trained in that discipline.
I know this may be hard for you to understand, but there's no way around it: if I am not trained to do a thing, I simply can not do it.
Sorry, but just because I know how to read Angel Cards doesn't mean I know how to read Tarot cards. Please don't order an Angel Card Reading from me and add a message asking: "I know this listing is for Angel Cards, but could you give me a Tarot reading instead?" (yes, people do do this.) No, no, i can not give you a tarot reading. Why? well, for one thing I do not own a single Tarot deck. For another thing it takes years to learn to read Tarot cards and I've never even seen a Tarot card and don't know the first thing about them. Maybe someday I'll take lessons, but until that day, I'm sorry, I simply do not know how to read Tarot cards and can not offer a service for something I don't know how to do.
There are thousands of methods of divination out there and just because a person is trained in one method, does not mean they are trained in any other method.
Yes, I have studied a wide variety of divination methods and offer services in those areas.
No, I am not a jack-of-all trades trained in every area of divination and spell work. There are a lot of disciplines I have no training in and simply can not offer services for.
Those things include the following:
Break-Up (A Couple/Marriage) Spells
Coffee Ground Reading
Predicting The Future
Psychic Cup Reading
Tea Leaf Reading
Are there any areas (love, money, gambling, success, etc) in which you will not work?
I do not consider ANY work which involves breaking up a couple (married or not married).
I do not do any work to bring about divorce.
I do not do any work involving gambling or lotteries, unless it is to help stop a gambling or lottery addiction.
I do not do psychic work (predicting future events.)
I do not do death spells or harmful work (except on very rare occasions for victims of extreme violance, such as in the case of murder, attempted murder, stalking, kidnapping, rape, or violent hate crimes.)
Which of the reading styles you use are most popular with your clients?
Card Readings are by far the most popular/most requested type of reading.
The most popular spreads are the 3, 5, and 7 card spreads involving love, relationships, life purpose, and luck.
Spirit Board (OuiJa) Readings done with a combination of crystal scrying are the second most popular/most requested type of readings.
Oddly, I keep getting requests for things I don't do as well. The two most common requests for things I don't do are Tarot Readings and "Tell Me What you See"
It doesn't matter how many times I say in my listings or on my site or elsewhere, that I do not read Tarot cards, it still does stop people from sending me messages saying: "I saw you had a listing for Angel Card readings and wondered if you could give me a reading with Tarot Cards instead?" Nope. No. I can not. I do not own a Tarot deck. I've never even seen a Tarot card. I don't know what they look like, I'm not sure I'd know one if I saw one.
And because of my race (I am a Gypsy) I'm daily bombarded (every single day - no less then 3 encounters a day) with locals rushing up to me and blurting out: "I heard you were a Gypsy? are you a good Gypsy or a bad Gypsy?"
ME: Good Gypsy or bad Gypsy? What? What are you talking about?
"I need you to look into my head and tell me what you see...." followed by long life history sob story of boo-hoo and woe is me, ending an hour later with: "so are you a good Gypsy or a bad Gypsy? What should I do about this. Tell me what you see."
ME: Gypsy is a race, like French or Chinese or African American. A Gypsy can be good or bad just like any other person of any other race.
"No. No, Gypsies aren't a race..."
ME: I'm a Gypsy, I ought to know.
"No, Gypsies are a type of witch, like Wiccans and warlocks and..."
ME: Honey, you been watching too many fru-fru movies. Gypsy is a race and has NOTHING to do with career, lifestyle, mode of travel or anything else. Being a Gypsy is determined by your DNA, not what you do.
Disclaimers, Code of ethics, and all That Other legal Stuff I'm Required To Tell You
Basic Layman's Version: Disclaimers
Basic Layman's Version: Code of Ethics
Full Text Version (70,000 words long - 150+ pages-, written by help of a lawyer and contains lots of words and phrases the average lay person can not understand.)
More answers to frequently asked questions
There are 700+ more questions sent to me by readers, answered on this site. Most of the pages are not indexed yet, but I'm working on that between other stuff, so eventually the index will be finished.
Bullies should never force you to suffer in silence. If someone has hurt you, let others know.
Looking For more to read? This site has 6,000+ pages, but as of March 2017 only about 800 of them are linked to the index. Clicking the links in the NavaBar below, in the side bar, or at the top of the page will get you to most of the pages that are currently accessible via the index.
Looking for the Quaraun books? The original Unicorn Porn #Yaoi short stories are no longer available, but are currently being compiled in chronological order and republished as novels. The new Kindle novel editions can be found here: http://tinyurl.com/Quaraun
Interviews about the Quaraun series:
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Hugs and kisses to my wonderful fans. Love you all! Talk to you again soon.
If it ain't on this list, it's probably fake.
Throughout 2013 - 2015 a slew of FAKE "EelKat" accounts surfaced, both on social networks and on forums, most were created by a woman calling herself Kendra Silvermander, or her backhoe driving cousin who drove a backhoe over my house, the same woman and her family who cut the heads off my cats, are the same people who hacked my online accounts, created a slew of fake accounts and pretended to be me, after they beat me up on November 14, 2013, leaving me paralyzed for 5 months, relearning to walk for 18 months, and clueless to their impersonation of my online due to my life threatening crippled state that had me offline from November 2013 to March 2016.
Who they are and why they are doing this remains unknown. If you know the identity of these people, please contact the FBI in charge of the investigation into their murder attempts on my life:
Agent Andy Drewer
of the Portland FBI
NOTE: I was very active on forums from 1997 to 2007 and have RARELY used a forum since then. Other then the Warriors Forum and Absolute Write I have not posted on ANY forums AT ALL since 2012.
Note: My old inactive forum accounts were hacked and "resurrected" in 2013/2014/2015 by a psychotic NaNoWriMo ML who is upset over my having won a total of 27 writing contests/challenges and published 130+ novels since 2004 and and apparently (according to her emails) she has yet to win or publish anything.
If you see "me" posting on a forum at any point after 2012, know that it is likely this mysterious, and still yet unidentified "Kendra Silvermander".
I'm just a harmless old lady who likes to dress like and Elf and paint everything pink and write stories about Elves having sex with Unicorns. For THAT, the residents of Old Orchard Beach, call me crazy, build a bomb, blow up my house, stand in my drive way and shoot at me, kidnap my cats, cut my cats' heads off, nail my cats' heads to my door, beat my 28 year old Shetland pony's head in, drive a back hoe over my house 3 times, filled my motorhome with feces 3 feet deep, I was paralyzed for 5 months because they trespassed up in here and beat me up, 3 years later I finally recover and start walking again and they beat me up again this time with a shopping cart rupturing 3 discs in my spine while screaming "kill or be killed remember Saco Shaw's!" and they cut my car in half. I'm sorry, WHO exactly is the crazy person here?
Yes, I wear pink ball gowns every day.
Yes I wear fake pointy ears and long white Rapunzel wigs.
Yes, I paint my cars, my motorhome, and my mailbox pink.
Yes, I write about Elves having sex with Unicorns.
So the fucking hell what?
I haven't set foot off my land in 40 years. The only time I have contact with people is when THEY trespass on my yard and invade my privacy. And you know what? I've always welcomed them with happy smiles and open arms, made them meals and served them tea, and spent the day happily chatting with any one and every one who wanted to visit me. I love it when you people stop by to visit me as it's the only time I have any one to talk to other then my cats... oh wait... I don't have ANYONE to talk to any more, now that sociopath freaks murdered them and nailed their heads to my door!
You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the ones who built a bomb and blew up my house!
You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the violent trespassers who stands in my drive way and shoot at me.
You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the ones who kidnap my cats, cut my cats' heads off, nail my cats' heads to my door, beat my 28 year old Shetland pony's head in, drive a back hoe over my house 3 times, filled my motorhome with feces 3 feet deep, and cut my car in half.
I mean REALLY stand back and look around.
All I'm doing is wearing strange cloths. I'm not the violent animal abusing, bomb building, psychopath beating up elderly women... THEY are.
There's a hell of a big difference between a half blind elderly woman dressing up as comic book characters and not bothering one damned person, and violent psychopathic criminal creeps beating her up, bombing her house, driving a back hoe over 3 more of her houses, cutting her car in half, filling her motorhome with feces, murdering her horse, and slaughtering her cats!
Old Orchard Beach has a crazy person in it all right, but isn't me... and the residents of this town need to get off their asses and tell the FBI who this white haired man and his blond wife and red haired sister-in-law are BEFORE THEY KILL ME! The red haired woman calls herself Kendra Silvermander.
I don't know who this man and his two women are. They are strangers to me. I don't know their names. And I don't know why they are doing this. Some body in this town must know who these people are ... PLEASE... the FBI is trying to put a stop to these insane hate crimes... PLEASE if you know who these psychopathic monsters are, PLEASE tell Agent Andy Drewer before they kill me. They cut my car in half in 2010. They cut my cats in half in 2015. How long do you think it'll be before they cut ME in half too? PLEASE HELP ME!
➽ ➽ ➽ If you have any information regarding the identity of the stalker/attacker/driver of the 4-door white pick-up truck please contact Officer Tim DeLuca of the Old Orchard Beach Police Department @ 207-934-4911 and/or
Agent Andy Drewer
of the Portland FBI
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Please help the police and FBI put this brutal, violent, psychotically deranged stalker family in prison.
Have Information? Call FBI Agent Andy Drewer @ (207) 774-9322
Rather then ask the crazy gun-toting neighbours, and risk get shot by the psychotically deranged, white power gay haters that live up and down my street, patrolling obsessively by my driveway every 15 minutes in a 4 door white pick-up truck, just get directions from Google Maps. Here, you can find 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, ME right here:
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