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EelKat Wendy Christine Allen
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How long does it take to hit 1667 words? and 50k in one day - is it possible?

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By EelKat Wendy C Allen

I joined NaNoWriMo in 2004, went on to become the first "overachiever" averaging 200,000 words in 30 days, instead of the average 50,000 words. Since 2006, I have been receiving on average 5,000 to 20,000 emails a week from fellow writers every October, November, and December, emails asking me how I did it and if I could advice them on what to do so they can write 200k instead of 50k in 30 days too.

In 2006 I wrote The 13 Step Method to Writing, in answer to their requests. In 2007 that was expanded to website known as "EelKat's Guide To NaNoWriMo", from their the advice column for writers (Ask EelKat) was created. Today there are more than 6,000 articles answering questions writers have, not only about NaNoWriMo but every aspect of writing and publishing in general and thus was born in 2013 EelKat.com the one stop database for every article I've ever written on writing. EelKat's Guide to NaNoWriMo is the series of articles that started it all, and here they are:

You are reading page #5 of EelKat's Guide to NaNoWriMo. If you have just starting reading this, please go back to Page 1 to read this entire 50 page article from it's beginning.

"How long does it take to hit 1667 words? and 50k in one day - is it even possible? I think it depends on the quality you're going for. Rough-and-ready bunch of words on a page and a decent first-draft would likely have quite different time requirements wouldn't they? What do you think?"

Depends on my mood - when I'm angry I can depend on 750 every 10-15 mins, when I'm tired it could take an hour to do 1000 words, but most days I can plan on 750 words for every half hour (I try to take a quick 5 min break every 750 words so my hands and my bum don't wear out from all that typing and sitting)

Also you really don't need to worry about a tiny amount like 1,667 words, because it is actually possible to write the whole 50k in one day if you wanted to.It is possible, it's difficult, but it can be done. I tested it a few years back to see - I can write 750 word every 15 minutes, there are 1440 minutes in a day, which means that in theory if I wrote non stop for 24 hours I would have 72,000 words by the end of the day, but that's extreme for me because I am a very slow one handed typer, at an average of 32 to 37 words a minute or 440 words every 15 mins.

However an expert typist can range 75 to 120 words a minute which is 1,800 words every 15 minutes or 7,200 word per hour or 172,800 words a day. Figure in a 15 minute break each hour, and you got 54,000 words in 10 hours. And as it's possible to go 4 days without sleep (at least for me - I sleep once every 3 days during NaNo) you can keep on typing 24 hours straight for a total of no less than 81,000 words per day.

Here is how standards among typists breaks down:

Secretary jobs often require a typing speed of 75 words per minute (23 minutes for 1667 words or 11.5 hours to reach 50k typing none stop)

50 words per minute is considered average for most authors (33 minutes for 1667 words or 16.5 hours to reach 50k typing none stop)

30 to 40 is considered average for many non-professional typists (42 to 55 minutes for 1667 words or 21 to 27.5 hours to reach 50k typing none stop)

20 to 30 is average for most people who did not take typing lessons (55 to 84 minutes for 1667 words or 27.5 to 42 hours to reach 50k typing none stop )

The world record is 216 words per minute (7 minutes for 1667 words or 3.5 hours to reach 50k typing none stop), but that was timed by a group of people timing it, and I'll bet several folks here on NaNo beat that record every year, because I'm always seeing folks reaching 50k shout-outs with in the first 5 hours.

My average tends to be around 37 words per minute most of the year (46 minutes for 1667 words or 11.5 hours to reach 50k typing none stop), but seems to be around 42 to 53 during NaNo (31 to 39 minutes for 1667 words or 11.5 hours to reach 50k typing none stop), and there have been times when I was doing 75+ words per minute (22 minutes for 1667 words or 11.5 hours to reach 50k typing none stop), and my top clocked speed was 1667 words in 19 minutes or 87 words per minute or 11.5 hours to reach 50k typing none stop (which means in theory, I could reach 50k I just 10 hours - less than half a day, if I just keep going once I got in my zone, however in practice I've never been able to reach 50k faster than 3 days.).

When you get in the zone you stop thinking and your fingers just start flying.

Basically, to make this work and be able to type out 50k within the first 3 days, you have to have EVERYTHING (characters, setting, plot, etc) all planned out ahead of time - we're talking months in advance- most folks who do the 50k day thing start planning their outlines in May or June. In about August they start practice speed typing, typing daily for 2 to 4 hour stretches, aiming at 1,000 words every 15mins. By November you know who is who where is where and who'll do what when. Everything is mapped out in your brain, and at exactly Midnight on Day 1 you start typing as fast as you can, not stopping, no breakfast, lunch, or dinner stopping only 5 mins every hour to get a drink and use the toilet then start typing again. Sometime around 9PM or 10PM they should be close to 50k.

Also most of the folks who try the 50k in one day have been doing NaNo for many, many years, and often have careers as full time writers who write huge word counts every day anyways. If you are new to typing it's really NOT recommended that you try a 50k day, because it's like any exercise, and required muscle warm ups and conditioning and practice for months and month, before your finger muscles are going to stand up to that kind of work out.

Know that there have been many newb typists drop out of NaNoWriMo on doctor orders after doing serious carpel damage to their hands during the first few days of NaNoWriMo. Every year there are a ton of threads on the forums saying: "Sorry, I won't be finishing the month my hand is in a cast, I tore a tendon in my thumb, I'm not allowed to type for at least 8 weeks, on doctor's orders.". This is a very serious injury that can cost you the use of your hand so don't take it lightly and don't jump into a 50k in one day goal unless you have spend several months working up to being ready for it. Same way you don't run track without warming up your leg muscles, don't type 50k in one day with out prepping your finger and wrist muscles!

Most years my best one day word count is somewhere between 13k and 17k, but 2 years ago I did 27k in one day and shocked myself because that was nearly double my previous record! My goal this year is to have at least 1 day where I beat that. I'm doing the 50kRDO (50k Ridiculous Day One - a challenge to write 50k on Nov 1st) and the 50kweekend all 4 weekends this year (25k on each Saturday and Sunday).

Hopefully, I will reach 50k on Nov 1st, and 25k each day of the 4 weekends. If I do, I'll end up with 200k, without doing anything typing on the weekdays! And than if I type 15k each day between the weekends, I'll end up with a monthly total of 500k. So I set my goal at 458k and see what happens.

I try this every year and so far have only ever had one actual 50k weekend where I even got close to 50k! LOL!, but I keep trying, someday I'll make it, maybe this year will be the year!) My end goal for total word count this year is to beat my record (238k), so I set my goal at 250k and if I reach that, I'm planning to try for 458k. I aim at 458k every year and every year I end the month between 80k to 238k, but I'm not letting that stop me from continue to set my goal at 458k, because I figure if I keep trying, someday I HAVE to reach it!

And then you must consider that 50k days are not that uncommon. NaNoWriMo was based on the Weekend Novel Contest, which allows you 2 days to write a 100k novel (keeping in mind that 50k is a novella NOT a full length novel) and is not an online contest. but a writing retreat where you actually get together with a live group and all sit together in the same room writing furiously. That contest has been running since the 1960s, currently costs about $300 to enter and has about 2 or 3 dozen winners every year.

But yeah, it's not only possible, but loads of folks do it every year. You just hae to realize that it does take a huge amount of pre-planning, lack of sleep, and being uniterupted by family/friends/pets/phone/TV/etc.

So, don't worry about getting to 1,667 a day, because I am a terribly slow typer (32 words a minute - most typers on NaNo average at least 50 words a minute, and someone with a secretary type training [which I did have, explaining why I can force myself to type this way if I have to] does 75 to 120 words a minute) averaging 32 words a minute - 440 words every 15 mins or 1,760 words every hour and I usually plan on writing 3 times a day (as soon as I wake up, on lunch break, and just before bed) so even a snail's pace typer like me rarely has a day of less than 5,280 words!

I'm one of the top overachievers every year for 6 years in a row, twice I've had the world's top word count, 8 times I've had the top word count for my state, I think a lot has to do with the author and past experience in writing. A new author, who is uncertain about their confidence or publishability, sure, they are going to be more careful and write slower, and try to write what they think publishers want. An experienced published author with a large readership and several years of writing, is going to know ahead of time what fans and publishers expect of him/her and will have no trouble speed typing a first draft that is publishable as is, simply because they have a lot of practice already.

Take myself for example:

I joined NaNoWriMo 2004. Failed. Tried again in 2005. Failed again. 2006, I discovered the Dares Thread and made up for both previous fails with a 183k win, and then won every year since at no less than 200k each year, the past few years reaching 250k. I've set my goal at 275k and 300k a couple of times but so far I always top out at 250k. Joined Script Frenzy the year it started (was that 2006 or 2007? I forget) Failed the first two Screnzies, then became the Screnzy ML and that got me motivated to never lose again. Done Camp NaNoWriMo twice, failed both times. Gee...what a trend...I've failed the first 2 times I've tried each contest! I guess that means I should win the next Camp? LOL!

Genre wise, I typically do a multi blend mix of horror, romance, sci-fi, a bit of fantasy, a lot of gore and splatter punk, and some random erotica/porn that shows up whenever I can't think of anything to write so I just start tossing characters in bed together for no reason. Technically what I write is called Dark Satire Gorn, but NaNo doesn't have that category so I usually change my novel genre setting every few days to reflect whatever the topic of the day is. ;)

Thanks to ancient dares from I think 2005, every NaNo I have ever done features the following: a demon possessed shovel that causes everyone who picks it up to go on a mindless killing spree, characters obsessed with eating shrimp dinners, vampires allergic to rancid yak butter, and the past 3 years have seen the addition of glittering vampires: vampires who wear pink sequined tuxedos!

Last year the Dare thread had me including talking pudding and herds of rampant penguins running down Main St, the year before that is was vampire chickens and alien abductions thwarted by pizza. Wow does it all come out a mess! But a fun mess. What will the Dares Thread have me writing this year?

Most NaNoers look at my style and shudder in horror saying: "But that stuff isn't publishable! No one is going to read that kind of insanity. Readers want serious writing." Do they? Are you sure? Okay, maybe some readers do, sure, but are they YOUR readers? If I tried to write a straight faced serious novel, I'd lose thousands of readers. Why? Because that's not my style, my fans know that's not my style, and what's more, they wouldn't be my fans if that was my style, because it's not the style THEY want to read.

Sure I'm an underground writer published in tiny Indie presses. Nope, I have never aimed at the mainstream or the big publishers. That's not my audience. Know your audience. Who are your readers? What do they read?

My readers? They want something that reads like Rocky Horror Picture Show dropped into Alice in Wonderland and whisked away on the USSEnterprise. No that mad capped horror fun feast in space in not a high demand style, no you won't get rich with it, no I'm not saying you have to write what I write. What I am saying is every writer is different, and every writer is going to have a unique set of readership, so every writer has a different audience to focus on.

That said, I'm also a NaNo Rebel. I DON'T WRITE NOVELS! I never have, not once in 18 contests!

For NaNo instead of writing a novel in 30 days, I typically write a couple of short stories a day, each ranging from 750 to 5,000 words, usually, based totally on the Dares Thread - I grab a dare, write a short story about it, grab another dare, write another short story, and so on, often using about 200 - 300 dares each November.

For Script Frenzy I write 10 ten page short plays instead of one 100 page one, again with the Dares Thread as my guide. As insane as my writing may get however, my goal for NaNo is always publication.

My 2008 NaNo autobiography was published as a book, as was my 2007 non-fiction NaNo "On Being Homeless" and most all of my short stories have been published in one form or another in a wide range of various places. The autobio (a 700 page book when published) and the non-fiction (a 250 page book when published) are the only 2 serious things I've ever written for NaNo, both drawing on real life experiences and written in 1st person diary format. Everything else (18 OLL contests worth of them) has been written by use of the Dares Thread, with no prior plotting or planning.

People always ask what I do for character creation in my stories, seeing as I use the Dares (and not pre planned plots) to write during NaNo (which is the secret to my super high word counts - no plot planning, just following the instructions of the next Dare on the list = lots and lots of saved time - every minute spent worrying about plot is a minute you are not writing!). So, I'll answer that part now so you don't have to ask.

Okay, I was a published author long before NaNo was ever thought of. I have a full time career as a writer, so I write on average 10,000 words a day about 250 days a year, for many years long before I joined NaNo, so the only difference between my November writing and the rest of the year, is my November writing is not preplanned and is allowed to run wild plot wise. In other words, if I wasn't doing NaNo I'd still be writing 250k word this month anyways, just like last month and the month before, and so on.

My first story, Friends Are Forever, a Tale of The Twighlight Manor, came out in 1978. Between then and 1994 I proceeded to write 200+ short stories, all inspired by the first one. In other words I write a long running serial, which currently contains about 75 fully developed characters, each having been used as a main character in their own story at least once.

The Twighlight Manor Series follows a single family through many generations starting in 1313 and ending in 2525.

The Twighlight Manor Series is not written in chronological order, meaning I could write about the members living in the 1600's today and the ones in the current era tomorrow than the ones in the 1800's the next day. The family are aliens who crash landed on earth. Folklores like Faeries and haunted houses are treated as real, so fantasy and horror creatures, though rare, can logically be in the stories.

That said, when I grab a dare out of the Dare Thread, I ask myself, which character would do this? Which character should this happen to? Etc, and then instantly drop that character into the dare and start writing. In other words, in order for you to do what I do and try to write 250k in 30 days, you really need to be working with a setting and characters that are well established far, far before November starts, so you don't have to do any kind of character or setting creation at all, you just grab random plots and start writing. If you spend Nov creating characters and settings, you'll never reach the mega high word counts. So, now you know, so you don't have to ask. O. K. ?

All that said, I very much write off the top of my head by the seat of my pants, nearly always writing at minimum 7,500 word a day and almost never edit any of it, these are being published AS THEY ARE these mad capped "rough drafts" are given a once over to check for spelling errors and then sent off to the publisher as is, and published without any changes at all.

Granted as I said I've been writing for near on 40 years and have been published for more than 30 years and have a large steady fan following always ready to buy everything I put out, so maybe it's harder for NaNoer with less experience to write high speed first drafts that are publishable from the get go. But to say it can't be done at all, that's a big no-no because I'm living proof that it can be done and is done often, year after year.

So, my point is, every writer is different. Some are going to write slow, others fast, others at mid speed. Some are going to write for an audience, others for themselves only. Some will be writing stuff that needs extensive editing others will publish it as it came out with no editing at all, and in the end, none of this is really going to affect the speed of typing, because your typing speed is what it is, regardless of errors and need for editing (both of which have to do with experience as a writer, not speed of typing).

Yeah, for some folks it's about speed and word count, and sure folks will look at what I just said and say of me, she's all about speed and word count. Nope. Actually, I'm not, because like I said, I also typed up 150k words last month and will do it again next month too.

Why?

Because that's what pays the bills. I am a full time professional career based writer and 150k words a month is just my normal average speed of writing. I can easily toss up 50k in a weekend if I wanted to, and I often do toss up 50k in a weekend several times a year, thus NaNo's 50k is not a challenge for me at all, writing 50k for me is just more of the same old same old and I'm in NaNo to give myself a challenge.

For me 50k is simple, 150k is typical, 200k is hard but still in my normal range, 250k is me pushing my limits, so 250k is my personal NaNo goal, because it drives me to step outside of my personal comfort zone and try to type just a little bit more than I normally would.

So, to say that 50k in a day is all about speed and word count may not be true for everyone here, because you don't know what they do for writing the rest of the year. NaNo is about challenging yourself.

If you don't write at all, then just reaching 10k in 30 days may be your goal, to heck with reaching 50k.

See? There are folks who just want to see if they can do it, and NaNo is a great way to test yourself.

And besides, not every one's goal is to get published. If your goal is not about publishing than there is no reason to worry about overall readability. Sure, my goal is publishability, and I personally would not be able to write 50k in one day and then publish it as is. I'm pretty certain I can do 50k in a day, based on what I've done in the past, however, as I said the most I've done in one day was 23k and in the end, that was an unpublishable load of crap. I discovered, yes I can write at speeds to make it to 50k, but I write crap when I write at that speed, so reaching 50k suddenly was no longer an important goal for me. Yes I can do it if I had to, but was it worth it? I decided that for me, I'd rather stick with less words per day and have it be publishable in the end, because if there's one thing I hate, it's editing! I know if I don't write it right the first time, I'm not going to go back and edit it, thus it will never get published, and then means that I just wasted my time writing those words, because to me it's pointless to write something if no one will ever read it.

My point is, NaNo is about personal goals. Do what you need to do, to reach your own goals, and don't worry about other writers' goals and motivations, don't worry about proving yourself to anyone here on NaNo, just prove yourself to yourself alone and be happy with that. That's my way of thinking, at least.

Besides anyone who does it to "show off" or "look good on the forums" will quickly be shot down by dozens and dozens of hate filled NaNoMails calling them every bad name under the sun, accusing them of cheating and lying, etc, etc, etc, so they'll learn fast that there's no glory in reaching 50k in a day or 100k in 30 days or 250k in 30 days or whatever their end count is. They'll end up feeling really bad about their win, if they only did it to prove themselves to others. If they did it for personal reasons then no amount of hate mail will rain on their parade. You got to do it for yourself.

But people can and do write 50,000 words in a single day and they do it often.

Consider this:

It takes 20mins to type 1667 words.

20mins x 30days is 600mins.

600mins / 60mins = 10hours to reach 50k.

If you sat down and typed non-stop you could finish your entire NaNo"Novel" in just 10 hours. Less than half a day.

Less than half a day.

You can write 50,000 words in fewer than 12 hours.

"I think it depends on the quality you're going for. Rough-and-ready bunch of words on a page and a decent first-draft would likely have quite different time requirements."

I disagree with this as well, I'm one of the top overachievers every year for 6 years in a row, twice I've had the world's top word count, 8 times I've had the top word count for my state, I think a lot has to do with the author and past experience in writing.

A new author, who is uncertain about their confidence or publishability, sure, they are going to be more careful and write slower, and try to write what they think publishers want.

An experienced published author with a large readership and several years of writing, is going to know ahead of time what fans and publishers expect of him/her and will have no trouble speed typing a first draft that is publishable as is, simply because they have a lot of practice already.

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UPDATE: November 2015: The page you are on now, was written in 2007 and updated every November until 2014 - It was last updated October 31, 2014 and there are no future updates planned for it, as after 10 years of doing it, I have retired from "traditional" NaNoWriMo and am now doing a different writing goal each November.

For the current NaNoWriMo 2015 update see THIS PAGE (which includes the first public release of my Dares Generator and information on how I use it to reach 50,000 words in 3 days instead of 30 days, along with info on how I reached 537,000 words in 2013 and thus changed my writing goals for NaNoWriMo.)

UPDATE: October 31, 2014 -

Due to a major hacking of my online accounts, and the theft and plagiarism of some 1,371 of my how-to articles for writers, I am now removing from public access MOST of my How To Guides for writers. They will return at a future date, but henceforth they will not be available for free. I'm tired of shit-head thieves stealing my work and passing it off as theirs. I'm sorry, to those of you who were not creeps and trolls, I know it's not fair to you, but, the hacking was done by a local person did a lot more damage than you know - the vandalism to my house and cars and the murders of my pets and death threats to my family, are not something I take lightly.

Until we can get to the bottom of this and get this jackass stalker out of my life, I am simply not able to leave my articles online, due to the court case that is now brewing over this. I am also leaving NaNoWriMo, because the local NaNoWriMo ML Kendra Silvermander is the cousin of the man doing the harassment, stalking, vandalism (which included blowing up my house with a grease fryer bomb) and has been not only stealing my how to guides and posting them on the NaNoWriMo forums as her own, but also shows up at local restaurants to threaten me and my family while we are trying to eat. I am utterly disgusted that NaNoWriMo allows a filthy, thieving, vandalizing, scum bag like this to continue to year after year, inciting anti-EelKat riot threads on the NaNoWriMo forum, while continuing to allow her to steal my articles off my web site and post them to NaNoWriMo's website as hers.

This article you are reading now, is one of the few, I have not taken down, it is however drastically shorted. My mega long 20,000 word how to articles are ALL removed now, with only and the ones that remain are stripped of most of the info, with only the barest minimum required to answer the reader question - in many cases the articles are 90% shorter then when they originally appeared, most now under 2,000 words instead of their 20,000 word originals.

Complete Index of
EelKat's Guide to NaNoWriMo
(Including The ORIGINAL 13 Steps To Writing Method)

MANY of these pages are changed to private viewing only now, and or have had most or all of the original content removed - see note above for reason why.

  1. EelKat's Guide To NaNoWriMo
  2. Why Write 50,000 Words In 30 Days?
  3. How Can I Possibly Write a Novel in 30 Days?
  4. Don't Quit!
  5. How long does it take to hit 1667 words? and 50k in one day - is it possible?
  6. Write Now - Edit Later
  7. Write it YOUR Way!
  8. What Is Word Padding?
  9. Word Padding & Why You Should Never Do It!
  10. More ways to write fast without word padding . . .
  11. After NaNoWriMo - Writing to Publish
  12. What I Did In 2006 - Reaching 50,000 using The 13 Step Method to Writing
  13. The Secret to Reaching Word Count Goals Without Using Word Padding - What I Did During National Novel Writing Month 2007
  14. NaNoWriMo 2008: 50k in 3 Days!
  15. Writing Tip: Have Fun!
  16. But, I want to finish a book I already started . . .
  17. Does writing a bunch of short stories count for National Novel Writing Month?
  18. Write What YOU Want To Write!
  19. Accepting Your Writing Style
  20. Writing Advice Doesn't Always Work
  21. What do You Look For in a Book?
  22. Creating Character Profiles
  23. Where Do You Get Your Ideas?
  24. What Genre is My Vampire Story?
  25. What Genre is My Mermaid Story?
  26. Does What You Read Effect What You Decide To Write? or What's on My Bookshelf . . .
  27. WHERE Should I write? Where do you feel you write more?
  28. Create Your Own Writer's Retreat
  29. I Want to Keep Writing December and Beyond: JaNoWriMo, FebNoWriMo, SeptNoWriMo, OctNoWriMo . . . ???
  30. Script Frenzy
  31. GothNoWriMo
  32. Narration for Writers
  33. Novel? Novella? Short Story? How Do I Know What Am I Writing?
  34. ABCs of Writing
  35. How to Become a Writer
  36. Are You a Renegade Writer?
  37. Creating a Fantasy World
  38. After NaNoWriMo: Editing your draft into a manuscript
  39. After National Novel Writing Month: Marketing Your Book
  40. After NaNoWriMo: Home Office, Town Zoning, and IRS Oh My! The Business Side of Being an Author
  41. My NaNoWriMo Journey: The answer the the oft asked question "So what exactly did you write during National Novel Writing Month?"
  42. How Long is 50,000 Words?
  43. Cliches To Avoid When Writing a Story
  44. What are the Benefits of NaNoWriMo?
  45. Is NaNoWriMo About Quantity Over Quality?
  46. How Do You Pick Which Story to Write?
  47. You too can NaNoWriMo like a pro







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on FaceBook - Writer's Group:  ► https://www.facebook.com/ShortStoryWriters

on Google+:  ► https://plus.google.com/+EelKat/posts/p/pub

's Home Page:  ► http://www.EelKat.com

on Instagram:  ► https://www.instagram.com/eelkat

on Itch.io:  ► https://eelkat.itch.io

on MySpace:  ► https://www.MySpace.com/eelkat

on Pinterest:  ► https://www.pinterest.com/eelkat

on Spoonflower:  ► http://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/eelkat

on Steam:  ► http://steamcommunity.com/id/eelkat

on Tumblr: ► http://eelkat.tumblr.com

on Twitter:   ► https://twitter.com/EelKat

on YouTube - Subscribe Today! ► https://www.youtube.com/user/EelKat

on Zazzle:  ► http://www.zazzle.com/eelkat

❤️ ❣️ ☮

Looking for the Quaraun books? The original Unicorn Porn #Yaoi short stories are no longer available, but are currently being compiled in chronological order and republished as novels. The new Kindle novel editions can be found here:   http://tinyurl.com/Quaraun 

Interviews about the Quaraun series: 

❤️ ❣️ ☮

Hugs and kisses to my wonderful fans. Love you all! Talk to you again soon.  

If it ain't on this list, it's probably fake.

~EK 


Throughout 2013 - 2015 a slew of FAKE "EelKat" accounts surfaced, both on social networks and on forums, most were created by a woman calling herself Kendra Silvermander, or her backhoe driving cousin who drove a backhoe over my house, the same woman and her family who cut the heads off my cats, are the same people who hacked my online accounts, created a slew of fake accounts and pretended to be me, after they beat me up on November 14, 2013, leaving me paralyzed for 5 months, relearning to walk for 18 months, and clueless to their impersonation of my online due to my life threatening crippled state that had me offline from November 2013 to March 2016.

Who they are and why they are doing this remains unknown. If you know the identity of these people, please contact the FBI in charge of the investigation into their murder attempts on my life:

Agent Andy Drewer

of the Portland FBI

@ 207-774-9322 

NOTE: I was very active on forums from 1997 to 2007 and have RARELY used a forum since then. Other then the Warriors Forum and Absolute Write I have not posted on ANY forums AT ALL since 2012.

Note: My old inactive forum accounts were hacked and "resurrected" in 2013/2014/2015 by a psychotic NaNoWriMo ML who is upset over my having won a total of 27 writing contests/challenges and published 130+ novels since 2004 and and apparently (according to her emails) she has yet to win or publish anything.

If you see "me" posting on a forum at any point after 2012, know that it is likely this mysterious, and still yet unidentified "Kendra Silvermander".

More information about Kendra Silvermander and what she did can be found here.

Let's think about something here...

I'm just a harmless old lady who likes to dress like and Elf and paint everything pink and write stories about Elves having sex with Unicorns. For THAT, the residents of Old Orchard Beach, call me crazy, build a bomb, blow up my house, stand in my drive way and shoot at me, kidnap my cats, cut my cats' heads off, nail my cats' heads to my door, beat my 28 year old Shetland pony's head in, drive a back hoe over my house 3 times, filled my motorhome with feces 3 feet deep, I was paralyzed for 5 months because they trespassed up in here and beat me up, 3 years later I finally recover and start walking again and they beat me up again this time with a shopping cart rupturing 3 discs in my spine while screaming "kill or be killed remember Saco Shaw's!" and they cut my car in half. I'm sorry, WHO exactly is the crazy person here? 

Yes, I wear pink ball gowns every day.

Yes I wear fake pointy ears and long white Rapunzel wigs.

Yes, I paint my cars, my motorhome, and my mailbox pink.

Yes, I write about Elves having sex with Unicorns.

So the fucking hell what?

I haven't set foot off my land in 40 years. The only time I have contact with people is when THEY trespass on my yard and invade my privacy. And you know what? I've always welcomed them with happy smiles and open arms, made them meals and served them tea, and spent the day happily chatting with any one and every one who wanted to visit me. I love it when you people stop by to visit me as it's the only time I have any one to talk to other then my cats... oh wait... I don't have ANYONE to talk to any more, now that sociopath freaks murdered them and nailed their heads to my door!

You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the ones who built a bomb and blew up my house!

You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the violent trespassers who stands in my drive way and shoot at me.

You call me crazy because I wear pink dresses, yet THESE THREE PEOPLE are the ones who kidnap my cats, cut my cats' heads off, nail my cats' heads to my door, beat my 28 year old Shetland pony's head in, drive a back hoe over my house 3 times, filled my motorhome with feces 3 feet deep, and cut my car in half.

I mean REALLY stand back and look around.

All I'm doing is wearing strange cloths. I'm not the violent animal abusing, bomb building, psychopath beating up elderly women... THEY are.

There's a hell of a big difference between a half blind elderly woman dressing up as comic book characters and not bothering one damned person, and violent psychopathic criminal creeps beating her up, bombing her house, driving a back hoe over 3 more of her houses, cutting her car in half, filling her motorhome with feces, murdering her horse, and slaughtering her cats!

Old Orchard Beach has a crazy person in it all right, but isn't me... and the residents of this town need to get off their asses and tell the FBI who this white haired man and his blond wife and red haired sister-in-law are BEFORE THEY KILL ME! The red haired woman calls herself Kendra Silvermander.

I don't know who this man and his two women are. They are strangers to me. I don't know their names. And I don't know why they are doing this. Some body in this town must know who these people are ... PLEASE... the FBI is trying to put a stop to these insane hate crimes... PLEASE if you know who these psychopathic monsters are, PLEASE tell Agent Andy Drewer before they kill me. They cut my car in half in 2010. They cut my cats in half in 2015. How long do you think it'll be before they cut ME in half too? PLEASE HELP ME!

➽ ➽ ➽ If you have any information regarding the identity of the stalker/attacker/driver of the 4-door white pick-up truck please contact Officer Tim DeLuca of the Old Orchard Beach Police Department @ 207-934-4911 and/or

Agent Andy Drewer

of the Portland FBI

@ 207-774-9322 

 ◀️ ◀️ ◀️ ☎️

Please help the police and FBI put this brutal, violent, psychotically deranged stalker family in prison.

Have Information?
Call FBI Agent Andy Drewer @ (207) 774-9322 





Need Directions?

Rather then ask the crazy gun-toting neighbours, and risk get shot by the psychotically deranged, white power gay haters that live up and down my street, patrolling obsessively by my driveway every 15 minutes in a 4 door white pick-up truck, just get directions from Google Maps. Here, you can find 146 Portland Avenue, Old Orchard Beach, ME right here:


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